


Dancing On The Wind

by Ashratherose



Series: Dancing on the Wind [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alpha Levi, Bottom Eren, Canon ages and appearances, Character Death, Child Abuse, Doctor Hanji, Eren's slightly skinnier thanks to his omega side, F/M, Heats, I don't know. There's probably gonna be some fucked up shit eventually, Knotting, Levi has a fat cat, M/M, Match maker Hanji is determined to get them together, Mental Health Issues, Modern AU, Mpreg, Murder, Nasty Smut, Negative Body Image, Omega Eren, Orphan Eren, Paramedic Levi, Past Abuse, Self Harm, Sex, Slowish build, Stripper Eren, Their povs as usual, Top Levi, Torture, and no one's gonna stop her, assualt, but in my defence, cheesy pick up lines, crazy mumma hanji, dancer Eren, erens got his man bun, except Levi got an extra 3 inches, he's probably slightly out of character, i say panadol because I'm an aussie, levi & Eren centric, possessive zeke, soft Levi, sorry - Freeform, the usual for Eren - child abuse etc, they don't end up in bed together right away, this is an omegaverse au, trigger warnings - abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-27
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-07-18 04:24:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 60
Words: 406,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16110746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashratherose/pseuds/Ashratherose
Summary: Levi never thought he'd fall head over heels for an omega in gold booty-shorts and angel wings... until he did.Eren's working as a dancer when he meets Levi. With his life a mess and living with his overprotective older brother Zeke, he never saw falling for an alpha as an actual option. So why can't he get Levi out his head?AKA: Eren loves Zeke, but Zeke "trains" and abused him. Levi's not a happy camper. But when Zeke dumps Eren off, the alpha finally has a chance to swoop in and make things better.Yeah, there's a fuck load of fluff and angstSong mood for this fic is "all loved up by Amy shark"





	1. Chapter 1

"Come on, shorty! You never know, the omega of your dreams could lie just inside!"  
Rolling his eyes, Levi struggled to free himself from fake feather boa Hanji was wrapping around his shoulders. He'd been perfectly happy drinking at their usual spot. They hadn't needed to start this pub crawl. They hadn't needed to torture the innocent pub goers with Hanji's drunken shouting. When they'd left the bar, he'd hoped they were finally heading back to the hotel... instead, Hanji had hung out the limo until she saw the strip club...  
"How the fuck you got Moblit to marry you, I have no fucking idea"  
Cackling mischievously, Levi was propelled through the doorway. Why the fuck did he have to be on Hanji sitting duty? He might be gay, but he'd never had the urge to enter a strip club, let alone a strip club with Hanji, her big fat mouth, and the rest of her bridal party. 

Forced to sit in a booth that left his skin crawling, Levi doubted any omega worth his time would be slumming in a place like this. Reaching across the table, Hanji used her pointer fingers to push up the corners of his mouth  
"Lighten up! You're so grumpy!"  
Slapping her away, he tried his hardest to find something to bullshit out  
"I'm not grump, this place is just..."  
He cast an eye around the dark space. Other than the low lights behind the bar, and the small tacky fairy lights over the booths, the miah source of light was a rather sad looking stage and catwalk. A single male dancing awkwardly around a strippers pole, completely out of time with song over the speakers. Nope. He couldn't come up with a single nice thing to say about the joint, instead he could feel himself smearing as Hanji snorted  
"Calm down. Just because Romeo hasn't appeared yet, doesn't mean he won't"  
"Hanji, you do know how that ended right?"  
"We need more tequila, you've still got too many brain cells! Mark my words Levi, I will find you the omega of your dreams!"  
"I'll take a cleaner bar. Preferably without the mysterious stains and... what the fuck is that scent?"  
Placing her hand on his arm, Petra giggled  
"You're right Hanji! He's way too sober!"  
"I know right! Make sure he doesn't run away, I'll organise the drinks"  
If he could have run, he would. Hanji slid past her friend Rico, yelling to man behind the bar they needed drink. Covering his face, he really wished he'd run. Now he was stuck... trapped. With Petra fluttering her eyelashes at him. The tiny strawberry blonde woman didn't understand that he was gay, not even after 6 years of knowing him. There'd been a time when they hadn't spoken after she'd stubbornly questioned "How can you know you're gay, if you've never been with a woman?". This was followed up by the great "Can't you just try to be straight?" incident. It took Hanji playing peacekeeper and unavoidable circumstances at work for them to finally speak again. Their "friendship" strained since, and if not for Moblit begging him to make sure Hanji didn't pass out in a ditch, he wouldn't even have been out. He should be home, with his cat, a nice cup of Earl Grey, and a good book. He was a simple man, who valued simple things  
"Levi, are you listening?"  
Sighing, Levi looked to Petra  
"You weren't, were you? I was asking if you knew what the time was"  
"Isn't that what you have a phone for?"  
"Its flat silly, and you've got a watch on"  
Turning his left wrist, he looked down at the dial  
"It's a little after 9"  
How the fuck was it so early? After working all day, he was ready for sleep even before they'd headed out. It seemed like some cosmic insult that it was still stupidly early. Saved from replying by Hanji's return, he was helping himself to a shot as a rather loud group of alphas entered the club, who made it their immediate goal to harass the barkeeper who'd just been freed from Hanji's ramblings  
"You don't think they're going to cause any trouble, do you?"  
"It's fiiiiiine, Petra. Besides, it's not like Levi wouldn't step in and save us"  
Winking, Hanji downed her shot  
"You're on your own"  
"But Levi, I'm getting married! I can't rock up with a black eye"  
"Why not? I'm sure Moblit's going to expect some kind of injury"  
"You're an arsehole. Hurry up and start drinking already"  
Downing his own shot, he winced as the tequila burned. He hated the shit, and hated Hanji for forcing it upon him.

It was about an hour later that things began to pick up. A tall blonde coming to the stage to announce it was time to "Get this party started". Having progressed from shots, Levi was nursing his cocktail. Petra was drunk enough that she was laughing at everything, while Rico and Nanaba where both chatting away with Hanji about her upcoming nuptials. This left his to his own thoughts, and to continue planning his escape route once Petra finally moved. The second the woman decided she needed the bathroom, he was going to make a run for it. Even if it meant hanging out the front of the establishment like a creep, until Hanji had had her fill of fun. The way the alphas were all crowding around the cat work, he doubted any of them would pick a fight with him. He wasn't an omega and he wasn't getting between them and one. Taking a sip from the blue concoction, he looked up as the catwalk lights dimmed and fake drumroll played. Hanji let out a squeel, turning in her seat to get a better view as if something exciting was about to happen. As the lights shifted from blue to yellow, the stage lit up and Levi choked on his drink. Ok. He had to admit the guy who'd just appeared on the stage was hot. Wearing a pair of angle wings and gold booty-shorts, every line of his perfect sunkissed skin was on display  
"Ladies and Gentlemen, let's give it up for Angel!"  
With a sultry smile, "Angel" blew a kiss to the crowd, before walking confidently towards the pole at the end of the catwalk. Fuck... He might be a famous "Ice Queen", but staring up at "Angel" he was only human. His mind jumping to how nice it would be to be buried between those long tanned legs... nope. He wasn't going there... nor was staring at the man's face and wondering what the moans falling from between those pouty pink lips would sound like.

Hypnotised by "Angel", it suddenly occurred to him that the man was omega. The confidence of his moves, and his tall frame were hardly omega like, but the way the alphas were staring at him like he bitch in heat... he had to be an omega  
"Levi! Oh my gosh! Look how red you are, do you like him?"  
Levi scoffed  
"No. I'm watching those alphas. Who do you think's going to throw the first punch?"  
"Oh! Ummm..."  
He'd only just brought up the notion as a small commotion broke out, one alpha shoving another, causing a third to glare. Ending his routine, the omega went to make a break for it, only for two alphas to reach up and grab him. His flimsy wings snapped as the omega fell... and fell badly. Levi winced as chairs and table were sent scraping. Security rushing over to the fight as the alphas began to move away from where the omega had fallen  
"Do you think he's alright? Should we check?"  
"Reiner! We need an ambulance..."  
Pushing Petra out the booth, the woman grumbled as Levi strode towards the scene, Hanji right beside him. Stopped by the barkeeper, Levi craned around the man to try and catch a glimpse of the omega. He could already smell the blood in the air, the guy had to be hurting  
"Sir, ma'am, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to go back to your seats..."  
"We're doctor's. You called for ambulance, well, we'll take a look at him while we wait for it"  
The barkeeper looked Hanji up and down, before looking to him  
"I'm a paramedic. She's the doctor"  
"Uh..."  
Looking around, the barkeeper nodded  
"Help him out. Zeke will have loose his shit if something happens to him"  
Kissing the man on the cheek, Hanji brushed past like it was nothing. Swapping to professional mode as they both finally laid eyes on the bleeding omega. Curled in on himself, there was a nasty gash to his head, while part of a glass has embedded in his left side from his fall. Levi felt like he'd been struck, his alpha enraged at the sight of a hurt omega. Even with the suppressants he took, he was still filled with the urge to help the kid out. Up close, it looked like the kid was still a teen  
"Levi, take his vitals for me. I need to check his chest"

Moving the kid onto his back, bright green eyes blinked at him as if shocked  
"Hey cutie. I'm Hanji, can you tell me your name?"  
"E-Eren"  
Eren's eyes stayed locked on his  
"That's Levi. Don't worry, he's nowhere near as scary as he looks"  
"He looks constipated"  
Hanji snorted, while it was Levi's turn to blink in shock. He definitely wasn't expecting the kid to be so spirited, not with a fucking glass embedded in him  
"Oh Eren. You've just made my night"  
"How does it look?"  
"He's going to need surgery. I was hoping most of the glass had broken on impact, and that was why the bottom was flush to his skin... Eren, you're being very brave"  
He knew Hanji's false soothing too well. Peaking over, he sighed to himself. Hanji was right. A good portion of the glass was imbedded in Eren. The napkins Hanji had pressed against the wound site already red with the omega's blood. Coughing, small traces of blood appeared at the edges of Eren's lips  
"How long until that ambulance arrives?!"  
Yelling the question, Eren flinched at his tone  
"They're 10 minutes out!"  
Rico must have called in to find out for them. Hanji smiled wider, again, not a good sign  
"Hear that, help's on their way"  
Eren nodded, his eyes wandering back to looking at Levi  
"I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away"  
"Oh my god! Eren, you're too funny. Levi, I think he's flirting with you"  
"He hit his head, he's disoriented"  
"Do you have a map? I'm lost in your eyes"  
Hanji covered her mouth as she giggled, Levi's face reddening over Eren's attention  
"Calm down shitty brat. You're going to be fine"  
"I'm not a serial killer, but I'd like to take a stab at you"  
Moving her hand to fan her face, Hanji was loving every second of this  
"He's... he's like your soulmate!"  
The words forced out as her laughter grew  
"Shut up. He's probably just reacting because I'm an alpha"  
"But Levi..."  
Coughing wetly, Eren tried to struggle up  
"We need to roll him"  
"Got it"

Eren's hand found his as he laid in the recovery position. The napkins had been replaced by a tea towel brought over by the barkeeper. Staring down at the brat, Levi swallowed hard. He couldn't deny he didn't feel some attraction to Eren, but it was foolish to even think anything would ever be there. It was obvious from the environment Eren worked in that the kid hadn't had the best of lives, and there was no way an omega like him wouldn't have an alpha. So why did his thoughts have to be filled with Eren? Why was he trying to memorise everything about the kid he'd just met? With his fingers against Eren's wrist, he tried to look like he was in charge and professional... and not having some kind of mid-life crisis over a perfect stranger  
"How's his pulse?"  
"Higher than I would have expected"  
"I can hear the sirens, do you know who's on tonight?"  
"It should be Gunther and Eld. Who's on in the ER?"  
"Mike"  
Eren would be in good hands... just not his hands  
"He'll be alright"  
"What?"  
"You're staring at him"  
"Oh... my mind was elsewhere"  
"Like in bed with a certain angel?"  
"You're not funny"  
"I'm hilarious. You should appreciate me more"  
"For dragging me into a strip club?"  
"Yep. Is he still conscious?"  
Looking up, Eren looked down at him  
"Yep. Conscious and Alert"  
"I guess I need to behave"  
"That would make a first"  
Eren coughed as he laughed weakly  
"Even the brat agrees"  
"Not brat... Eren"  
"It's ok, sweetheart. Levi is an oooold friend of mine. He's actually a sweetie, despite his foul mouth"  
"And Hanji here is a lunatic. Never believe anything she says"  
Eren laughed again, the pair glaring at each other over it. Cursing softly, Levi looked to find tears in Eren's eyes  
"You'll be fine"  
"My brother's going to be so mad"  
"Nah. He's going to be happy that you're ok"  
There was something in Eren's words that had Levi frowning. His mind was starting to make leaps when Eld and Gunther arrived. Making space, Hanji filled the pair in while Levi found himself being towed away by the barkeeper and outside to where the police had just arrived. Caught up giving this statement, he didn't even see Eren being taken away, only being informed by Petra after the fact. With the night ruined, Levi returned to his apartment for the night with a heaviness on his shoulders. He didn't have a shot with Eren, so why did the kid have to be in his head?


	2. Chapter 2

Despite the previous night, Hanji looked radiant as she exchanged vows with Moblit. The pair of them in their own little world, during both the ceremony and reception, leaving him without the chance to enquire as to Eren's condition. He supposed if something had happened, Hanji would have texted. Or maybe Eren's alpha had come to the hospital, so she didn't wish to hurt him. Not that it would have. He and Eren were strangers. Their lives moving in different circles that ordinarily would never have overlapped... yet, in the days that followed, he found his thoughts still returning to kid. If he really wanted to know, all it would take was a message to Mike, but that meant crossing a professional boundary and possibly causing a situation that wouldn't look too good for either of them. It wasn't uncommon for omegas to be stalked down by interested alphas, and though society had progressed from the days where omegas were kept as slaves and ridiculed, the law wasn't on their side. If he did track down Eren, the omega's alpha had every right to "protect" him, while no one was going to believe someone as unsavoury looking as him, was merely making sure the boy had survived the incident.

With the change in his shift hours, it was nearly a month before he finally ran into Hanji again. They'd just completed a patient transfer when she came running through the halls, tackling him in her annoyingly over enthused hugs. Pinned awkwardly, his partner Erwin snorted rather than helped to free him from her grasp as he lifted off the ground   
"Levi! I missed you!"  
"Put me down"  
"Nope!"  
Despite saying no, Hanji lowered him the inch or so she'd lifted him  
"You're as grumpy as when I left you"  
"I was fine until you decided my spine needed realignment"  
"Your spine is fine"  
Turning to Erwin, she gave him a much shorter hug, not even trying to lift the bear of the man from the floor   
"Hanji, you look wonderful. Married life suits you"  
"Two weeks on a honeymoon suits me. Anyway... Levi, has their been any developments since I left?"  
Erwin raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms as the pair of them looked to him  
"Developments with what?"  
"A certain green eyed, drop dead gorgeous omega by the name of Eren?"  
Rolling his eyes, Levi grabbed his kit  
"Levi! How could you!?"  
"How could I what?"  
"How could you not stalk him down? He was literally perfect for you"  
Erwin cleared his throat  
"I think I missed something?"  
"Levi met his soulmate"  
The man looked shocked, while Levi just felt sick   
"He isn't my soulmate and he isn't my omega. Hanji dragged me to a strip club for her hen's party and some shitty alphas picked a fight with an omega"  
"With Eren. Oh my gosh, Erwin he was perfect. The first thing he told Levi was that he looked constipated, then dropped three of the cheesiest pickup lines you've ever heard"  
"Because he was in shock, from the fucking glass inside him"  
"Nope. He liked our little Ice Queen, and Levi liked him too. It was so obvious!"  
"I didn't like him back"  
"So you weren't stroking his hand and staring at him? I can't believe you, he was right there"  
"He was bleeding out after being attacked by alphas. I don't think jumping into bed with another alpha was on his mind"  
Hanji's tone turned sing-song  
"He asked for you"  
"He did?!"  
Replying a little too fast, he kicked himself   
"See. What do you think, Erwin? Doesn't it sound like Levi likes Eren?"  
"I've never seen him interested in anyone before..."  
"That's what makes this soooo special"  
"Will you two stop talking about this shit? I don't like the shitty brat. I don't know the shitty brat and I don't want to know the shitty brat"  
"Hmmm... that's three shitty brats"  
Turning away from them, Hanji placed her hand on his shoulder  
"Ok. I might have been a bit too enthusiastic, but Levi... I just want you to be happy"  
"I'm fine the way I am"  
"So if I told you that Eren doesn't have an alpha, and that he pulled through the surgery and then was picked up by his older brother, you wouldn't care?"  
Yes... fuck yes, his alpha cared  
"No. I don't know him, and I'm never going to see him again. Besides, he's a brat"  
"His name's Eren Yeager and he's 20 in March!"  
"Hanji, you can't just give out personal information like that"  
"Erwin, if you'd been there, you would have seen it..."  
Grabbing the papers from the patient transfer, Levi stalked from the pair of them. He didn't want to know anything about Eren. He didn't want to know this name was Eren Yeager and that he didn't have an alpha. There was no one as gorgeous as Eren that didn't have someone. It was stupid and cruel of Hanji to push this shit onto him. He just wanted to do his damn job.

Catching up with him, Erwin was wearing a smug smile  
"Don't even say it"  
"I didn't say anything"  
"No, but you're thinking it"  
"I was thinking its rare for you to be interested in anyone"  
"Oh yes. How could I possibly forget I'm the feared Ice Queen? Lay off it. It's just Hanji sticking her nose in where it doesn't belong"  
"She's always been invested in your love life"  
"Exactly. And she's always blowing things out of proportion. Remember when I got Titan, she was sure I was talking about my boyfriend's dick size and not my cat... even after she forced him on me in the first place"  
Erwin snorted  
"Fine. Point taken. Still, if there was something there..."  
"True mates is a load of bullshit. A load of shit invented so perverts can get off sleeping with underage omegas"  
Erwin rolled his eyes at the words he'd heard countless times since they'd met   
"I'm just saying, I wish I could have met him"  
The annoyingly familiar feeling of jealousy rose in his gut as another alpha dared to mention wanting to see their omega. Fuck. This was complete bullshit. He wasn't their omega. How many fucking times did he have to remind himself that before he finally forgot the kid, and those fucking green eyes that haunted his dreams?! He was sick of himself and his own patheticness... maybe that's why his words had so much bite?  
"Stay the fuck away from him and stay the fuck away from Hanji. I don't like him, and I don't need her starting something"  
"I'm starting to think Hanji might be onto something"  
"I hope you die a slow painful death and your dick falls off"  
Patting his back, Erwin nodded  
"That's the spirit"  
He was surrounded by shitty idiots. Why did he even consider any of them friends?!

 

*  
Waking to the cold morning's light, Titan meowed his annoyance at being disturbed as Levi reached for his phone. Patting fat Maine Coon, he winced at the screens blindness as he fumbled the phone into his hold. Titan's rumbling purr filled his free ear as the cat head butted his head him for further pats  
"Fuck off you little shit"  
"Well that's nice, I called you with good news and everything"  
Why hadn't he checked the caller ID!? Groaning as he pulled the phone away from his ear, he glared at the time   
"Hanji, its 4:30 in the fucking morning. What the fuck could be so important that you needed to wake me the fuck up?"  
"Oh yes! Guess whaaaat, you're little cutie is here"  
Levi's heart skipped a beat. What was Eren doing there?! No. He couldn't sound too eager  
"My what?"  
"Don't play stupid. Eren's here"  
"And why do I care?"  
"Because you looooove him"  
"I'm hanging up now"  
"No! Wait. Ok. I'm just calling to let you know he's ok"  
"Alright. Goodbye"  
"No wait! I need to ask you a favour too"  
Hanji sounded like she was scrambling   
"What?"  
"Can you come pick me up? Moblit would have only just gotten home"  
"So?"  
"He's been working split shifts, and my cars in the shop"  
Flopping down on his chest, Titan started kneading. The dopey shit drooling as he smuggly closed his eyes  
"Fine. But you fucking owe me"  
"Levi, I love you! My shift ends in 10"  
"Whatever. I'm taking a shower first, and Titan wants food"  
"How is my fat cat?"  
"Getting fatter by the day. His winter coat's coming in"  
"You should bring him with you? Eren would totally swoon over him"  
"And you should shut up. I'm happy to leave you to walk home"  
"We both know you won't. See you soon!"

Titan was a strange beast. He hated water, but every time Levi took a shower, the shit had to sit on the counter and watch. If he shut him out, he'd meow at the door non-stop. Stepping from the shower, he sighed as Titan swatted at him. It would be nice to have a shower without an audience, or the bathroom counter being covered in fur  
"Yes, I'll feed you. God. You're just as annoying as her"  
Meowing, Titan leapt down with a solid thud, his bushy tail disappearing as he pushed through the half opened door. Yep. Cats were fucking weirdos. He had no idea what through Titan's head, but he still preferred the cat to his human friends. Titan didn't call him at obscene hours over mystery omegas... buuuut Hanji was yet to fart in his face, like Titan did. She also didn't claw at the furniture, or watch him shower. His cat was definitely an arsehole.

Pulling up at the hospital, Levi parked his Black RangeRover in Hanji's designated space. Cursing the lack of said woman out the front of the hospital. That could only mean she wanted him to head in, and there was no way he was giving into her childish game. Drumming his fingers on the steering wheel, he wished he had something to keep him distracted from the white automatic doors. Any moment Eren could walk out... though he probably wouldn't have even been able to tell if it was him. Not unless he was in those skin tight gold booty-shorts and white wings... even then, it'd been well and truly over a month. His mind had probably taken the image of the prone omega and added layers of charm on the probably very plain kid. So why the fuck was he hiding in his car, like some kind of coward? He'd never fucking felt like this before. It was shit and he fucking hated it.

When his phone started ringing again, he eyed Hanji's name with annoyance. She'd better not be cancelling on him. Grabbing the device, he answered the call  
"Levi, are you here?"  
"I'm waiting out the front"  
"I'm going to be a little bit longer. We had a patient start projectile vomiting and I while I've got most of it out of my hair..."  
"Get your arse back in the fucking shower. I'm not letting your stinking arse into my car until your clean"  
"I'm sorry! Hey, Mike's here. Why don't you come in and catch up? He says it's been a while"  
"I saw him yesterday"  
"But you talk to him?"  
"Hanji"  
"Levi"  
"Get back in the shower"  
"Fiiiine. I'm only looking out for your happiness, seeing you won't do it"  
"I'm perfectly fine on my own"  
"You might be fine, but what about Titan? Hmm... when are you going to give that cat a mother?"  
"You've lost it. Fuck off"  
Hanging up, Levi sighed to himself. Titan was a slut for pats, he wouldn't care who they came from. Fuck it. He probably wouldn't even see Eren.

Walking into the emergency department waiting room, Olou gave him a smile. The man worked as an intake nurse, and nursed a crush for Petra so big that even a blind man could see it. Giving him a wave, Olou rose from the desk, disappearing for a few moments before reappearing as he opened the door through to the department   
"Hanji said you were coming"  
Walking over, he slipped past the alpha. Giving him an appreciative nod  
"Yeah. She said something about projectile vomiting"  
"You have no idea. We've been run off our feet all morning. A group of alphas got into at some sporting event"  
Sounded about right. Even the smallest things were known to bruise an alphas pride  
"Head on through to the staff room. Hanji's in the staff showers at the moment, but she said she'd meet you there"  
"Thanks, Olou"  
It wasn't exactly hospital procedure to let someone walk around, but he'd been here enough for everyone to know his face and name. Letting his eyes wander over the patients in the bays, he gave Mike a small wave as he passed. So much for catching up... not that he particularly cared.

Hanji arrived as Levi was downing his second cup of near toxic tea. Without anything to do, and in desperate need of caffeine, he'd been left with no other option but to rely on the dodgy drinks machine. Towelling her hair, she beamed as if it wasn't stupid o'clock in the morning  
"Hey, shorty. Sorry for the wait"  
"You owe me a real cup of tea for this shit"  
"I know. Did you see Mike?"  
"He was busy with the kid that came off his bike"  
"Oooh. Yep. If it was that kid, I'd throw myself off my bike too"  
"Parents that good?"  
"The mother's a bit... eh"  
"Whatever. It's none of our business. You ready to go?"  
"Sure, I just need to pop my head in on a patient on the way"

He should have known better. Following Hanji, she was just too perky as she pulled back the curtains enough for him to see Eren. He could have decked her for it. Sitting in the visitors chair, Eren was perched in the lap of a blonde man. His arms wrapped around himself as he chewed on his bottom lip  
"Hey, Bertholdt. I'm on my way out, but Mike is going to be here any minute to check on you. You shouldn't be waiting too much longer"  
Catching Levi staring, the blonde man took Eren by the chin, tilting his head so as to kiss him. Levi felt like his guts had dropped to the souls of his feet. He'd fucking known Eren had to have someone. Mumbling, Eren's cheeks were bright red  
"Zeke... it's fine"  
Bertholdt snorted, smiling at Hanji in a way that made him feel even worse. His alpha didn't like this. Two alphas so close to Eren, when Eren didn't look happy or comfortable...   
"Sorry about those two"  
"It's fine. Alphas often feel very protective of omegas. Anyways. I'm off. Don't forget to let Mike about any headaches or nausea"  
"Got it. Thanks"  
Tugging him away, Levi jerked his arm from her hold, marching straight towards the closets door that would let him the fuck out of here. He was so fucking stupid and Hanji was a bitch.

"Hanji...?!"  
Grabbing his arm, Levi was stopped mid-stride. Eren calling out to them hadn't been expected, or wanted. He didn't want hear the teen's gentle voice or anything he wanted to say  
"Hey, Eren. This is Levi. I don't know if you remember him, but he helped that night with the glass"  
Turned to face the very omega he didn't want to see, Eren nodded slowly  
"I think so. I... um... I just wanted to thank you for helping Bertholdt. And um... thank you for helping me Levi"  
"Whatever it's my job"  
Hanji elbowed him hard in the ribs  
"Sorry sweetie, he's always cranky. What he meant to say was that it's fine and he's happy to see you again"  
"It was annoying me not being able to thank you properly"  
"As long as you're all healed up"  
"I am. I need to get back before my brother starts worrying. But it was um, nice meeting you"  
"Make sure Bertholdt doesn't push himself too hard"  
"He won't. Thanks again"

Leaving Hanji behind, Levi resumed his storming off. Reaching the car a solid minute before Hanji climbed in on the passenger side  
"I can't believe you didn't talk to him. I went to all that trouble and you totally brushed him off"  
"I never asked you to meddle in my life. What did you hope to achieve? He has a fucking alpha"  
"Nope. That's his brother"  
"Cut the crap. You don't kiss your brother like that"  
"He really is his brother and while it miiiight have been a little weird, he probably didn't like strange alphas being around his little brother"  
What a load of shit. Hanji had even less brains in her head than thought  
"Whatever. It's got nothing to do with me"  
"You can't keep lying to yourself"  
"No. You're the one who needs to drop this shit. I don't have a thing for him and I'm sick of hearing about him. He's just another omega. Not my omega. So back the fuck off"  
"Alright! Sheesh. You're so fucking stubborn. If you're not going to get yourself an omega, at least go get laid or something. I'm sick of looking at that grump face of yours"  
"Then you can fucking walk home!"  
"Fine!"  
Hanji didn't move. Slamming his hands against the steering wheel, Levi growled   
"Get the fuck out"  
"I don't want to walk"  
"Then shut up"  
"I just want you to be happy"  
"I don't need an omega to be happy. I'm fine on my own, so stop pushing it"  
"I will"

The drive to Hanji's was uncomfortably silent. She barely mumbled a "thanks" before climbing from his car. Leaning forward, he looked up at the stormy sky, thinking that somehow it suited his mood perfectly. Despite what Hanji said, Eren had been in the lap of that alpha. He'd kissed him and he'd let himself be held. He'd known he didn't really stand a chance, but this fucking sucked. Even dressed in loose grey hoodie and black jeans, Eren was just as beautiful as he'd remembered him to be. A beautiful omega that would never belong to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah. I know this chapter wasn't that interesting, but I decided that Eren's POV was next and he could have his own chapter


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for a little of Eren's POV!!!

Climbing back into Zeke's lap, Eren kept a fake smile on his face. He could smell that his older brother was mad, but it'd been important to him to thank the man that helped him. Even if it was his job, he could have just left him to Hanji  
"Did you say what you needed?"  
Eren's fake smile grew. He'd worn it ever since he could remember, somehow convincing Zeke that it was as good as the real thing   
"Yeah. I just wanted to thank them. They're the ones who helped me when I got stabbed"  
Zeke hadn't been happy when he'd been injured at work... if he couldn't dance, he couldn't make money, and everyone knows you need money to get anything or anywhere in this world  
"Was that all?"  
"Of course it was. You know I'm not interested in having any other alphas around me"  
"Good. I don't want you talking to them again"  
"You worry too much. I'm all healed, you know that"  
"I do. But we wouldn't want anything happening to you"  
Eren bit his lip. He hated when Zeke used his "dad" tone. He wasn't his dad... even if he kept him safe  
"You know I can't control the club patrons when I'm dancing"  
"No. It was both Reiner's and Bertholdt's fault for not keeping you safe"  
That was the whole reason they were here now. Zeke had silently brooded over the event... then Bertholdt had started getting sicker and sicker. Even though his older brother acted like he was shocked, the smile that played on his lips betrayed him. He'd done this intentionally, and he'd chosen Bertholdt because he knew it would hurt Reiner more that it was his boyfriend instead of him. Zeke scared him, but as long as he was by his side, Eren was safe  
"Can we go home soon?"  
"You want to go home?"  
No. Home was boring and depressing, but Zeke was getting bored  
"I still feel a little warm"  
Letting the lie roll off his tongue, his brother placed his palm to his forehead  
"You do feel warm. Bertholdt, make sure you follow the doctor's orders. I'll be back one Eren is settled"  
"I will. I'll see you guys later"  
Eren couldn't bring himself to look at Bertholdt as he mumbled his goodbyes. He knew Bertholdt knew Zeke was behind this all. It left him feeling sick. Bertholdt and Reiner were Zeke's closest friends, the pair were their roommates. They'd all lived together for the last few years. Reiner and Bertholdt had gotten jobs of their own at the club because Zeke had asked them too... now... now Bertholdt was laid up in hospital. He didn't understand how Zeke could possibly ok with poisoning? his friend. With Zeke's arm around his waist, he was lead from the hospital. Careful not to make it too obvious he was looking for Levi or Hanji. Zeke wouldn't be happy if he did. Even if he wanted to have some kind of friendship with Hanji, Zeke would never allow it. So there was no point even trying.

Glued to Zeke's side, his older brother escorted him to his room. It was the only room in the apartment they shared that had a lockable door, for which Zeke had the key. Being the only omega in a houseful of alphas made things hard, especially when Reiner or Bertholdt would go into a rut, or his own broken heat would come. Sitting down on his bed, Zeke stood in front of him, wrapping an arm around his waist as he placed a hand on his head, stroking his hair  
"I'll call the club and tell them you're not coming in tonight"  
"I can dance"  
"Not if your still in heat"  
"I get more tips when I'm in heat"  
"We can't have you ending up in the hospital again"  
"I'm sorry. I know I made you worry, but I don't have proper heats and..."  
"And what? What do you need the money for? I can buy you whatever you need. Is there some alpha you like?"  
Eren flinched as Zeke's anger flared, glad his face was in line with Zeke's stomach  
"No. I swear to you there isn't"  
"Then why, Eren? Haven't I always taken care of you?"  
"You always take care of me. I don't know what I'd do without you. I just don't want you working so hard. I worry about you"  
None of that sentence was strictly true. Zeke hadn't always taken care of him. He didn't even know he had a brother until after all the shit in his childhood went down and Zeke walked into his life like it was his right. If Zeke wasn't there, he could actually have a life. He could dance somewhere nicer than the club... and he definitely didn't worry about Zeke, unless it was about his cruel side  
"Are you saying I'm weak?"  
Fuck. He'd said the wrong thing  
"No! No. You're strong. I know you're strong. But you're all I have left"  
His brother sighed softly  
"Alright. Take a shower and then get some sleep. I'll take care of everything"  
Zeke kissed the top of his head. He hated the way his brother fawned over him. When he kissed him, or insisted he sit on his lap, his stomach filled and he wanted to hurl. Zeke had done a lot for him, but his touch always felt wrong. Not that he knew what was right. It made him grateful for his messed up heats and scent from years on suppressants, as well as childhood trauma that he couldn't forget however hard he tried   
"Thank you"  
"You're welcome"   
Kissing his hair again, Zeke left. Eren flopping back on his white doona. He hated his room. Nothing felt like his own, as Zeke had chosen everything for him. From what he ate, down to how he dressed, Zeke chose it all. When he'd been hurt at work, his brother had bought him concealer to hide the nasty red scarring that formed from the wound getting infected. He'd been so mad over the whole thing, that Eren hadn't dared tell him he was sick. He couldn't make Zeke madder and he couldn't make him worry. He should be grateful he had a warm bed and a roof over his head. So why did he feel so trapped? Why was he so envious as he looked down the groups of alphas and betas as they drank with their friends. He'd used to have friends... but that was so long ago... No. He wasn't going there. He had Zeke and Zeke would keep him safe.

 

*  
Having crawled into bed and passed out, Zeke woke him for lunch. He liked to watch his weight and figure, but lunch was always a banana and coffee. His stomach never really felt full, and it was only on his way to work that he got to actually eat a decent meal. Since the new cafe had opened near the strip club, he'd become a regular. Everything they made tasted amazing, and he could eat as much as he liked without being watched and made to feel guilty. Slipping onto the breakfast stool, he forced his trademark smile as he picked up his mug of coffee. The mug was probably the only thing in the whole house he'd chosen for himself. With pink rabbits on it, there was no chance that he'd have to share it with the others. It was far too omegary for his big strong alphas   
"I called the club for you, they said you can come in earlier for your shift"  
Eren nearly choked on the sip of coffee he'd taken. Schooling his features, he nodded  
"That should be fine. What time do I need to be there?"  
"From 4 till 8. I'll pick you up after work, so you don't have to worry about walking home"  
That meant he'd be working the 5 o'clock sleeze hour. Where alphas finishing work trickled in between 5 and 6 before running home to their waiting partners. It wasn't exactly his most favourite shift. No one got drunk enough to tip him decently, no matter how many tricks he spun on the pole   
"Do you have work?"  
"Not today. I told them my brother was sick"  
"You didn't have to do that"  
"I know, but someone's gotta keep an eye on you"  
Eren nodded, placing his mug down as he grabbed the banana from beside it  
"You're not going to ask about Bertholdt?"  
Fuck. Was he supposed to? He should have asked... why was he so fucking useless?!  
"Sorry. I'm still waking up"  
"It's fine. He's fine. They said it was just gastro"  
It definitely wasn't just gastro...  
"Oh. Is he coming home today?"  
"Tomorrow. Reiner will be bringing him back"  
If Reiner and Bertholdt really wanted to, Eren was sure the pair of them could easily take Zeke. He didn't know Zeke held over them to keep them so loyal, so wisely kept his mouth shut. Nodding, he tried to look like he didn't care  
"I have some things I need to take care of, so make sure you get some more rest before you leave"  
Walking over, Zeke dropped a light kiss to the top of his head before heading towards his room. Getting rest didn't mean actually resting. It meant getting off his arse and doing the housework before he left. Zeke liked things neat and organised, but felt things like cleaning were beneath him. Reiner and Bertholdt weren't total slobs, but they seemed to lack the basic brain cells of how to put their own dishes in the dishwasher. He couldn't understand it. They literally placed their dishes on the bench above the dishwasher. There were only a few more centimetres to go and they'd magically be in the dishwasher, but somehow they just kept falling short. It was ridiculously frustrating. Each time it happened he wanted to yell at the pair, only, that would lead to Zeke getting mad and in comparison, a few dirty dishes didn't seem that bad.

Managing to get the load of dishes done, he'd also done a general tidy up of the apartment as well doing one load of washing, putting a second on as the first went into the dryer. He'd vacuumed and mopped, then doused the whole apartment in scent cancelling spray. It wasn't like he liked cleaning, but omega's were basically domestic bitches who only existed to make sure alphas lived in comfort. Every aspect of his life was controlled by alphas, as it had been since the death of his mother. After that, everything had gone to shit, and he'd learnt that no matter how many dreams he had, none of them would ever come true. He might still have the occasional wish... like running into Levi again, but even if he dreamed of dating him, that would never happen. Zeke would hunt Levi down, even if the man and Hanji had saved his life. So it was safer he stayed away from the gorgeous alpha with eyes so silver he was sure they couldn't be human. Levi was so far out of his league, he couldn't even see him, and if they did get together it wasn't like Eren had much to offer him. He was just himself. All he had was his looks, which would only last until he got knocked up. Once that happened, he wouldn't be able to dance anymore and he'd lose everything he'd carefully constructed for himself under Zeke's watch. Even with his fucked up heats, he was fertile and honestly lucky to have made as long as he had without falling pregnant. Not that he'd found anyone he'd willingly sleep with. Part of him was still a stupid romantic, which he liked to blame on his traitorous omega side. Seriously. His omega was an arsehole. After meeting Levi, his stupid heat had come and those grey eyes of his hadn't left his mind. Even when he had the rare chance of dressing himself, he found himself subconsciously choosing a mostly grey outfit because of those eyes. He was fucking cursed by them.

With the house cleaned, Eren showered and shaved. Being an omega meant little body hair, but his boss was likely to dock his pay if he just left it. As it was, his costumes were ridiculous, and the name "Angel" he'd been gifted left him wanting to burst out laughing every time he heard it. He was no angel. Unless it was an angel of destruction as he'd destroyed everything that ever meant anything to him, by presenting as an omega at the age of 8. Dressing in a pair of black boxer-briefs and grey sweats, he massaged in a generous handful of glittery moisturiser, making sure not to get any on the site he had to cover with concealer. The day he could finally kiss the glitter goodbye, would be the happiest of his life. It was the herpes of the dressing room, leaving him glitter on almost every article of clothing he owned. He had to wash all things separately so it didn't cover everyone else's clothes, followed by a soapy rinse to get the extra off the washing machine barrel. He'd accidentally washed Reiner's shirt with him things once and Zeke had lost his shit over how he'd been betrayed by Reiner, because he'd been fucking his little brother and didn't the balls to tell him. Even with him rushing to explain that the shirt had come straight from wash, and that Reiner hadn't even had the chance to put it on, Zeke had still been furious. Mid-routine, he jumped as the bathroom door opened and Zeke wandered in  
"Glitter again?"  
"Yeah. I know. Hopefully we'll be changing my act soon. This stuff is horrible"  
"If it's horrible, don't wear it"  
"It's fine. The customers love the sparkle"  
Snatching the tube from him, Zeke threw it across the room before taking him by the arm and shoving him into the shower  
"Wash that shit off"  
"It's fine, it's only for a few hours"  
"No. If you don't want to wear it, don't"  
Cranking the taps, Zeke's hand slipped further on the hot than the cold. With the warm water already in the system, Eren yelped as he tried to escape the boiling water, very nearly going through the glass shower wall in his haste  
"Fuck! Eren..."  
Turning the hot back, Zeke held his under the water until he finally deemed it acceptable and guided him back under it   
"Did you get burnt?"  
"N-no. I'm sorry. It was more the shock"  
And not the boiling hot water hitting his face  
"I'll get you a change of clothes and help you with your hair"  
Nodding stiffly, he waited until Zeke left before turning the hot down further. He shouldn't have mentioned the glitter. All he had to do was keep his mouth shut a little longer. Keep the cracks from for a little longer. Then he'd be out the house and walking to work. When Zeke returned, he ignored his personal space. His brother drying him down as if he were a child and not nearly 20  
"I'll take you to work and watch you tonight"  
"You don't need to do that"  
"You just had a scare. We both know how frail omegas can be about such things"  
No. He just got fucking burnt because his overbearing brother couldn't back the fuck off  
"Ok... I don't think it'll be too busy"  
"Good. I know you don't like people or crowds that much"  
He actually loved people. It was just his anxieties that made it hard to be around them. Things like being touched always made him jump and flinch. Even it was Zeke doing the touching, though his touches affected him in a different kind of revolt. Zeke knew his past and still hugged him like none of it happened  
"Thanks"

 

*  
Dancing in front of Zeke was uncomfortable. The whole last week of having his brother watching him was uncomfortable. Dancing in front of Zeke while wearing a tacky schoolgirl outfit... that was just... he would have taken being stabbed rather than having to expose himself like that in front of his brother. The sheer underwear he was forced into literally covered nothing. It might as well have been dental floss for how small it was, while the mesh shorts he had over it was just as fucking bad. He usually loved performing. He loved the bass vibrating the stage. The way the music made his heart race and the way he felt so disconnected from reality. When he was dancing on the stage, they could all look at him, but they never got to touch. He was in the one in control and even if he was stuck doing this kind of dancing, it was better than sitting and waiting to die. Pulling off his tiny shirt, he threw the item to his brother. If he hadn't, Zeke would have been mad. Spinning slowly, his hands slid up his chest, massaging at his nonexistent breasts beneath his crop top, before sliding them down to skirt. He had nothing against female clothes, but he was a guy and sometimes he wanted to fucking dress like one. Pulling on the hem, his eyes met Zeke's as his brother growled in warning. Right. Modesty. Giving the waiting alphas a wink, he stalked confidently to the stripped pole at the end of the stage, hooking one leg around it as his hands gripped the smooth metal. He wasn't supposed to be working the pole, but the money was so fucking good. He'd once had a dream that he could save every sent and run away to a new life, but he couldn't do that to Zeke. Not when he'd done so much. Lifting himself, he span nimbly as he ascended the pole, before using just the one leg to hold his weight and dropping so his back was flush with the metal. Alphas whooped and cheered as he flashed them. Zeke rising from his seat as Eren hastened to pull himself up. Sliding down gracefully, before dropping down and crawling to Zeke with his back arched. Grabbing his hand, Zeke hauled off him off the stage  
"What the fuck was that?"  
"They wanted a new routine"  
"I didn't raise you to be a whore"  
"I'm not a whore"  
"I don't want to fucking hear it. I refuse to let you dance while exposing everything. You should know better than that"  
"I'm just doing as I'm told"  
"You don't need to listen to them. You need to listen to me, and right now, we're going home. I am so beyond disappointed with you"

Zeke had said plenty of things before, but he'd never gone as far as to tell him how disappointed him in he was. Being punched in the face he could deal with. Being thrown down a flight of stairs, he could live with. But Zeke telling him he was disappointed in him... it left him feeling physically ill. His anxieties coming to the surface as Zeke carried him out the club and to his car. He'd never gone this far before. He'd never pulled off the stage and carted him home before. And the look in his brother's eyes... it was like he was about to explode in anger. All he'd been doing was dancing to his new routine. There were worse outfits he could be wearing. There were worse moves he could be making. Dancing his was his escape and now his escape had been taken from him.

Zeke simmered in silent anger until the got home. His brother's hold on his arm was hard enough that Eren was sure it was bruise, but the alpha didn't let up. Dragged through to his room, he was thrown on his bed, legs landing open so he was flashing his brother. Grabbing the end of his skirt, he tried to cover himself up  
"So now you're ashamed. God dammit, Eren! I can't believe you. Do you know how much money and time I've invested into you?! Who took you in when you had nowhere to go? After dad skipped town? I did. And this is how you repay me?! I'm done with your shit. How many alphas have you let touch you?! How many have you given it up to?! I thought you were better than some common omega whore"  
Tears welled in his eyes, a whine of shame coming from his lips as his body shook. Zeke was the only one in the world he had  
"I put up with all your omega bullshit and this is how you repay me?!"  
"N-no, Zeke... please..."  
"I don't want to see you. Stay in here and think about how much of a fucking disappoint you are"  
Slamming the door behind him, Zeke left him there to cry. His brother knew he hated being confined. He knew he feared being a bother and feared letting him down, yet he'd gone and thrown all of it back in his face.

Zeke had only been gone a few minutes when there was a small knock on the door. Sniffling, he wiped at his face   
"Come in"  
Sticking his head in, Bertholdt gave him a smile that made him feel worse  
"What happened?"  
"I don't want to talk about it"  
"You look miserable"  
"Just work stuff. It doesn't matter"  
"Reiner and I are off tonight. Why don't you come have a few drinks with us in the living room"  
"No. It's ok. Zeke will get mad"  
"He's already left"  
"I should stay here..."  
"Just have a few. You don't even need to get drunk"  
"I think I want to get some sleep"  
"Alright. If you change your mind, you know where to find us"  
Closing his door, Eren was glad Bertholdt was gone. He didn't really talk to him and Reiner. They'd talked, but... the pair were kind of a mystery and sometimes they scared him just as much as Zeke did. Both of them were strong alphas, so he had no idea how they made their relationship.

Having changed and tried to sleep, every noise in the apartment made him jump. His stomach was rumbling with hunger, as Zeke had been taking him to work for the last week. He didn't know what he'd done to upset him, or why Zeke wouldn't let him go alone... No one touched him. That one incident had been the bloodiest thing that had ever happened in the last two years of dancing there... If it'd just been that day they'd been at the hospital he'd understand because Zeke wanted to keep him safe and didn't like Hanji or Levi... Maybe Zeke... Maybe Zeke was preparing to leave him? Maybe he had to leave and their fight had cut their time together short? Maybe he left without even saying goodbye? Scrambling out of bed, he tried to appear normal as he crept from his room and into the living room. Reiner and Bertholdt were making out on the sofa, the stink of horny alphas making his stomach roll as his stupid body reacted. Breaking from their kiss, Bertholdt's eyes met his, the man placing his hand on Reiner's chest to stop him  
"Hey Eren, did you decide to join us?"  
"Um... is Zeke back?"  
"Not yet"  
He'd left him... alone with Bertholdt and Reiner... all alone   
"You should have a few drinks with us. You know, blow off a little steam"  
"I'm fine... thanks anyway"  
Jumping over the sofa, Reiner moved to grab him by the shoulders. Flinching, Eren grabbed his arm as he tried to back away  
"See. You totally need to loosen up. You know us, we aren't going to do anything to you"  
"Zeke wouldn't like me drinking"  
"Zeke isn't here"  
"I'm just going to wait in his room"  
Reiner sighed  
"You know it isn't natural. The way he tries to keep you to his side"  
"You don't know what you're talking about!"  
Reiner snorted at his snappy tone  
"It's a shame Eren..."  
"Let me go, or I'll tell Zeke"  
Staring Reiner in the eyes, he didn't back down. Reiner slowly released the hold on his shoulders, Eren darting past him the moment he was free  
"Reiner, did you have to go that far?"  
"You're just too scared of Zeke to admit..."  
Whatever Reiner was going to reply was cut off by Eren scrambling into Zeke's room, slamming the door closed behind him. His own room would have been safer, but Zeke would be able to smell if either Reiner or Bertholdt entered. Padding across to Zeke's bed, Eren climbed under the covers. He knew Zeke was possessive of him, and that their relationship wasn't normal. But Reiner had never said that to him before... Maybe it was just the alcohol talking? He didn't know... he wanted Zeke. Burying his face in his brother's pillow, the scent filled his nose as he started to sob. He hated all of this. He hated being trapped. He hated that he needed Zeke so much and he hated him for leaving him alone.


	4. Chapter 4

Eren worked himself up so much he went into heat. His body burning as he huddled in Zeke's bed, he hadn't left his brother's room in days. He wasn't hungry. He wasn't thirsty. His body was screaming out for an alpha, while all he wanted was his brother to come home. His heats were always painful. The desperate need to be bred, fighting with the terror of the idea of being touched like that. He was broken. No alpha would ever want someone as broken as he was.

Still huddled under Zeke's blankets, he missed hearing the door open, but he caught the scent of Zeke almost immediately. Whimpering, his brother came to the side of the bed, pulling the blankets down enough to take his face in his hands  
"Oh Eren. Why didn't you call me?"  
Eren shook his head, relieved he wasn't alone anymore  
"You're so warm. You need a bath, and something to eat"  
"H-hurts"  
"I know it does"  
Lifting him, Eren tucked his head against Zeke's neck  
"You've bled a little on the sheets, I'll need to dress the wounds"  
"I'm sorry"  
"No. I'm sorry. I was so mad that they made you dress like that"  
The school girl outfit wasn't even the worse he'd had to wear... but Zeke didn't know that... even though he should.

Carried into the bathroom, Zeke helped him undress, before turning the tub taps on. His thighs blood from scratching at them, rather than touching himself during his heat. He didn't know why he scratched, but Zeke always made sure to help him clean them up properly and that he had pawpaw and vitamin E cream for the scars  
"Here, let's get you into the bath. I'll make you some soup while you're bathing"  
Kissing his sweaty forehead, Zeke picked him up and placed him into the bathtub. The smell of bubblegum bubbles made him hum, but the scratches turned that into a whimper   
"I know how much you love your bubbles. Don't worry about cleaning the house, and washing the sheet, I'll take care of it"  
Shit, it had to be a mess. He had no idea how long he'd been in Zeke's bed. He was angry at him for being in his bed, for messing his sheets up with blood and all that stuff. His words and actions didn't line up with Zeke's tone  
"Eren, are you listening to me?"  
Nodding, he forced a smile. He was too exhausted to talk  
"I'll be back to get you out the bath. We can save talking until your heat is over"

 

Zeke took care of him for the rest of his heat, another two days, followed by the deep depression of failing to conceive that all omegas felt. His "happiness" had slowly started to return, so when Zeke sat him down in their living room, he didn't see anything wrong coming. Taking his hands in his, Zeke squeezed them hard  
"Eren, you know how much I care for you, don't you?"  
"Yes. You always take such careful care of me"  
"You're such a good omega. I've talked to the club and they've agreed to change your shifts"  
Eren's heart dropped. Zeke's style of talking was threats, and his boss wasn't that fond of him as it was. If he wasn't the clubs most popular dancer, he'd be jobless  
"They did?"  
"You'll only be dancing afternoons now, and no weekends"  
Looking down to his lap, he mumbled sadly   
"Weekends are when I get the most tips"  
"You're lucky I'm not making you quit completely. If it wasn't for the fact your life needs some kind of structure, because of your dynamic..."  
"No. No. I'm grateful and I understand"  
Zeke leant and kissed his forehead  
"Good. Now. I have to go away for the weekend. Reiner and Bertholdt won't be home either, so you have the whole place to yourself. Do you know what that means?"  
"I don't leave my room and I keep my door locked, even if it's the police"  
"Good boy. If I could take you with me, I would. But I won't have those alphas watching you"  
"No, I want to stay here and be good for you"  
"Such a good omega. Maybe when I come back, we can get you some more clothes? You don't have a lot for winter"  
"Can... May I get some new shoes instead, please? My joggers cause blisters"  
Zeke let go of his hands, grabbing his left leg and pulling it up so he could look at his foot  
"Why didn't you tell me?"  
"Because I haven't been out of the house, so there hasn't been any need"  
"You should have told me. I'll buy you new shoes while I'm in the city"  
Shoes that probably would be ugly as fuck... and completely wrong for jogging or dancing in  
"Thank you"  
"You'll be working from 4 until 8. We can't have you staying out too late"  
So the shittest shift. He needed the money. He needed to pay his share of the rent and have money to give Zeke for the groceries... fuck... he didn't even have that much in savings because he gave most of it to Zeke, and he was probably the only person in the whole city who didn't have their own bank accounts. He didn't even have ID...  
"Thank you. I'll start cleaning now"  
"No, we'll watch a movie. I won't see you from Friday morning until Sunday night"  
"Do you have anything in mind?"  
"Why don't you choose?"  
He could name just about every movie ever made, and Zeke would say no  
"No. I'm just happy to spend some time with you"  
Zeke placed his leg back down, leaning in to kiss his lips, before rubbing his thumb over the spot he'd kissed  
"My sweet little brother. I'll take care of you"  
"I know"

 

*  
Being alone in the apartment was scary. He'd tried to fill in his time alone by cleaning through the house, but once that was long, it was just him and his thoughts. Even with so much life buzzing around outside the apartment, he felt so alone. Zeke hadn't messaged him once since he'd left, and he had no idea where Bertholdt and Reiner were. Why did everyone have to leave him? He wasn't smart. He didn't have any great skills. He couldn't sing. He couldn't draw, or play an instrument. He could barely read or write and when he'd brought himself books to help him learn, they'd gone missing. He didn't like Zeke's attentions, but he didn't feel safe alone. He was stuck and he hated it.

By Saturday night, his fears were eating him alive. Zeke still hadn't messaged him. He'd ventured from his room, despite what he'd promised Zeke. The only food they had needed to be defrosted and cooked properly, while the only thing they had to drink was water or alcohol. Zeke checked his calls and messages, so he'd get mad if Eren had something delivered, and their next door neighbours would probably dob him into his brother if he asked them for food or to order something for him. He was so fucking hungry... but if he couldn't eat to satisfy that hunger, he might as well try drinking it away.

Alcohol had never agreed with him, or rather, he could drink and drink before feeling anything. The burn of the bourbon made him feel sick, but as he neared the bottom of the bottle, a small sigh escaped his lips. Zeke would be angry. So fucking angry that he'd touched their alcohol without permission, but what did it matter? As long as he did the evidence, no one would know any better. Snorting to himself, he pushed his lanky from the sofa. His footsteps light as he tiptoed to the glass balcony doors. Zeke didn't usually like him out on the balcony in winter, his brother said he was scared he'd catch a cold or something. But in summer, it was his favourite place to be. He'd lay out his yoga mat, and skip the yoga in favour of sleeping in the sun. Stepping out, the cool wind went right through him. His yoga mat sitting sadly in the corner, half faded from being left to the elements. Zeke had bought it for him as it was the same colour green as his eyes. Why the fuck did he have to miss his stupid brother so much? He was free. He could have done what he'd liked. He could walk over and walk out the door. He could disappear and find somewhere new. Angry and confused at himself for his lack of appreciation of Zeke, the alpha who'd saved him from everything, he drained the bottle before throwing it as hard and far as he could. He couldn't leave Zeke. There was no where to go.

Leaning against the top of the metal railing, Eren placed his feet on the metal rail running around the base, a few centimetres off the ground. Leaning into the wind, he closed his eyes, almost having his own "Jack and Rose" moment without an alpha behind him. What a load of shit. People didn't love each other forever. When things got wrong, they got mad. They yelled and screamed. They hurt each other and they left. They left him behind. Stepping up, he placed his right foot on the railing, hoisting himself so he was standing on the thin inch of metal with his hands against the bottom of the balcony above. Heights never scared him, not like Bertholdt and knowing he could fall 8 floors to his death felt energising. He literally held his own life in his hands. His heart raced as he smiled, letting his left hand fall to the side. To anyone watching, he probably looked ready to jump. He wasn't going to though. He did however wish he could turn into a bird. He could turn into a bird and spread his wings, leaving all this behind, dancing on the wind as it carried him far from the pain of being human. Bird were free. They could go as wherever they wanted. Past the cities filled with strangers, all the way out to the ocean and even then, they didn't stop. Opening his eyes to the world, sighed. He really should go back inside before someone saw him out there. People never lifted a finger to save him when he needed it, but now that he lived some kind of normal life, they continued to stick their noses in when it wasn't welcome. Jumping down his foot slipped, sending him sprawling across the balcony. Biting his tongue, he whimpered. He'd rolled his ankle, and bitten his fucking tongue. Standing on the edge of the balcony railing with the threat of falling to his death, perfectly fiiiine. Standing on balcony itself, nope. Fuck, he was useless. Wincing, he picked himself up and limped inside, locking the door and rearranging the curtain to look like he hadn't been out at all.

Locking himself away in his room, Eren curled around his angry stomach. He was so fucking hungry, but Zeke was coming back tomorrow and he'd make sure that Eren had something to eat. 

When Eren heard the front door opening, he rush limped from his room. Zeke was shrugging off his jacket, but Eren limped right up to him, throwing his arms around him as he sniffled  
"Whoa? Did you miss me? Wait, you smell hurt. What happened?"  
Pushing him off, Zeke looked him up and down. Biting his lip in guilt, Eren nodded as he looked away from his brother  
"I rolled my ankle"  
"How? I told you to stay in your Eren!"  
"I did. I did stay in my room. I was getting out of bed and tripped over my own feet"  
He couldn't tell his brother he'd been out in the balcony... the lie smoothly rolling off his tongue  
"How bad is it?"  
"I don't know if I can work tomorrow"  
"Eren!"  
Wincing, Eren took a half step back as Zeke growled his name  
"Sorry. I'm sorry. I just don't want you hurt. I'll make you something to eat, while you rest your ankle"  
"Thank you..."

Limping to the sofa, he hated the feeling of numbness in his foot. If he put too much weight on it, pins and needles would run down the side. Resting it on the side of the sofa, he covered the ugly looking thing with a cushion. He hated his ankles. He hated the scars that had never faded and ruined his skin  
"The apartment looks clean"  
"I wanted it to look good for you, for when you came home"  
"It does. Have Reiner or Bertholdt been around?"  
"No. Not that I would have seen them, I was in my room"  
"Alright. Take your feet off the sofa. I've decided I'm just going to order in"  
He couldn't put his feet on the coffee table. Bertholdt and Reiner did it all the time, and it drove him mental. Crossing his legs, he fisted his sweats in pain  
"What are we having?"  
"You'll have to wait and see"

Zeke dropped down next to him, a doubt shot of scotch in his glass   
"Food's ordered. Show me your ankle"  
Shuffling, he lifted both his legs into Zeke's lap, as it was his right one that he'd hurt  
"How did you say this happened?"  
"I rolled it"  
"You're so much better than this"  
"I didn't mean to"  
"I think I'm going to have to take you down to the hospital to get this looked at"  
"It'll be ok"  
"Eren, if you can't dance, you can't work. I need you to pay the rent. That's what a responsible adult does. He pays his bills and goes to work"  
"I'm sorry... it really wasn't on purpose"  
"Maybe it's time we got you a new job?"  
"What? No... Zeke, I have... I have no skills"  
"You're pretty enough. I could say something at work. You know how to cook and clean"  
"I thought you didn't like me around your friends"  
Lifting his right ankle, Zeke kissed the swelling  
"I don't. I just want you safe"  
"I'm ok. I tripped. That's all"  
"We'll leave after we've eaten"  
"I'm sorry"  
"I don't want to talk about this anymore"

 

Dinner had been Thai takeaway. Too spicy for his tender and empty stomach, but it was Zeke's favourite. Making him shower and change into another set of sweats and another hoodie, Zeke then made him around without support. It wasn't until they reached the hospital that he wrapped his arm around Eren's waist, starting to hang off of him as everyone in the waiting room glanced up. Leading him to the triage nurse, Eren felt completely stupid. He hated hospital. He hated the confused on look at their faces when they saw his faded scars. Letting Zeke talk, he stared down at his brother's hand, his fingers splayed with the tips digging into Eren's thigh. Staking his claim and daring any alpha in the room to even dare look in their direction. From the triage nurse, they talked to the intake nurse. The man biting his tongue repeatedly during their short conversation. The way he stared at him, left Eren feeling vulnerable. It was like he was being silently judged, but had no idea why. He didn't know the man. He was pretty sure he'd never seen him before, so why was he staring? All he was doing was making Zeke angry. An anger Eren would be left to deal with.

The wait was only a few minutes, and Eren's heart gave a funny jump when Hanji threw open the door and yelled his name out. He didn't know why the woman seemed to like him so much. Gritting his teeth he pushed himself up, Zeke wrapping his arm around his waist to support him. Leaning in, his brother angrily whispered   
"Who's that?"  
"Hanji. She helped when I fell on that glass and with Bertholdt"  
"And?"  
"And what?"  
"Why is she looking at you like that?"  
"I don't know... she's just super friendly"  
"I want you to stay away from her"  
"I don't even know her"  
Reaching out, Hanji pulled him into a weird hug  
"Eren, its good to see you again. Thought I wish it wasn't here. Your forms say you rolled your ankle?"  
"Yeah. I got out of bed too fast and tripped myself up"  
"Alright sweetie. I'm just going to take your vitals and take a little look. We're pretty backed up at the moment, so your brother can wait in the waiting room"  
"No, I'll stay with him"  
"If you're sure. Here, come with me. Does it hurt when you walk?"  
"Um... yeah. It feels numb most of the time"  
"Hmmm... I think I can find a wheelchair if you want?"  
"No, I'm ok. I've got Zeke to support me"  
"You're lucky to have such a good big brother"  
"Yeah. He keeps me safe"  
"I can see why. You're such a cutie"  
Eren's face reddened in embarrassment. He wasn't cute. Alphas just wanted his body because he was an omega  
"And quite the handful"

Lead to a small station in the corridor, Eren sat in the only chair while Hanji started fiddling with a disposable end for the ear thermometer   
"Temperature first. Then your blood pressure and finally that foot of yours, how does that sound?"  
"Like a plan. I have work tomorrow"  
"Still dancing at the club?"  
"Yeah. Zeke changed my hours for me, so I'm not out as late anymore"  
"Aw. Here I was thinking we should head down, catch another glimpse of you in those booty shorts"  
"Eren doesn't need people making fun of him. He likes to dance and there's nothing wrong with that"  
Hanji sucked her lips in, looking like she wanted to laugh  
"Zeke, Hanji is joking"  
"She should be doing her job instead of laughing at you"  
Eren was ashamed of his brother's words, he desperately wanted to apologise. Hanji just brushed it off, checking his temperature and taking his vitals, before squatting down to look at his foot. Easing his sneaker off, her eyes widened  
"Oh sweetie. That looks nasty"  
"It doesn't feel great"  
"I think I'm going to need to send you for an X-ray"  
"Why? I just rolled it"  
"Was there a crack when you rolled it?"  
"Not that I remember. Can't you just strap it?"  
"Nope. Not until we make sure it's not a break"  
Eren paled. His ankle couldn't be broken. He couldn't dance on a broken ankle, and the strength might never return. He needed to dance. He needed it. It couldn't be broken. He couldn't... he needed to be useful  
"B-broken?"  
Zeke pulled him to a tight hug   
"I'm sure she doesn't know what she's talking about. Is there another doctor we can speak to? Someone more qualified?"  
He doubted Hanji would be working in the ER if she wasn't super qualified. It hurt to hear here her words, but she'd saved his life. A tiny part of him trusted her. He already didn't like being touched by strangers, but there was something about her that he liked. Brushing Zeke's words off as if he hadn't been horrible to her, Hanji smiled at him warmly  
"Sure. But for now, you'll just have to bare with me a little longer. I want to do a couple of small tests"  
Taking her pen out her breast pocket, Hanji clicked the end  
"You know this one?"  
"You're going to ask if it's sharp or blunt?"  
"Excellent. Not just a pretty face"  
Starting with his toes, Hanji poked and prodded making him pay attention to her actions. When she got to his ankle, it was hard not to pull away  
"Eren, what are these scars?"  
Whining, he grabbed Zeke   
"Nothing to be worried about"  
"He's my patient, which means I need to know his medical history"  
"It's something that happened a long time ago, and we'd like to see another doctor now"  
Hanji looked him in the eye, Eren nodding as looked past Zeke's stomach fearfully  
"Alright. I'll go find Mike. He's a good guy, but he likes to sniff"  
"S-sniff?"  
"He reckons he can smell all sorts of things"  
Hanji winked at him, before making a show of pushing herself up  
"It was nice to see you again. Maybe I'll see you around?"  
"Thanks, Hanji"

Mike wasn't what Eren expected. Standing there, the alpha was huge. Well, not huge, but taller and wider than his brother. Sniffing at him, Eren shrank away. For a moment he'd thought he was kind of hot, but the sniffing had killed that thought. He didn't like people sniffing him. It reminded him his scent was messed up. Introducing himself, Mike ran through the same tests Hanji had, but wisely hadn't brought up his scars. He asked a whole bunch of questions that let him scrambling for answers to cover the fact he'd been outside while drunk, and though the alpha was bigger than him, Zeke didn't snap at him at all. Sent for an X-ray, he found himself forced into a wheelchair, which Zeke insisted on pushing as they followed the yellow line to the department. Taking a place in the queue, Eren pulled his phone from pocket and handed it to his brother. He didn't even know he'd brought it with him. He didn't have social media, and the only number is phone was Zeke's. Even if he wanted to call a taxi to work, he'd have to google the number  
"What are you giving me this for?"  
"You can't have metal or electronics in there"  
"Is this all?"  
"Yeah... other than my sneakers"  
"Nothing on your sweats or hoodie?"  
"No"  
"Alright. I'll hold onto it. It looks like you need a new cover"  
He liked his rose gold cover. It was a kind of lace effect that looked awesome over the white phone, in his opinion  
"It's fine. You're the only one I talk to on it"  
"I'll still get you a new cover. I have your new shoes in the car, and I ended up buying your clothes while I was at it"  
"You didn't need to get me all that"  
"You were such a good boy while I was gone. I thought you'd be scared alone"  
"No, because you said you were coming back"  
"And what if I didn't?"  
"Then I would have died waiting"  
"Such a good omega"

With his foot x-rayed, a nurse escorted them back to the emergency department, where he was admitted to a bed. Zeke didn't leave his side, placing their belongings on the visitors chair before climbing up to sit beside him. He might hate his brother, but with his dislike of strangers it was comforting to have him by his side. Stroking his hair, Eren cuddled into Zeke's side  
"You're not normally this affectionate"  
"I'm... I'm scared"  
"It'll be alright, it's just a bad sprain"  
"What if they say I can't dance?"  
"Then we'll sort something out"  
He didn't want them to "sort something out", he wanted to dance. If he couldn't, Zeke would probably make him quit the club... and with no money coming in, his brother would probably start trying to find an alpha to dump him on. His life would be over. He'd be left in a state of semi-permanent pregnancy until they decided he'd served his use. He didn't want to live if he couldn't dance. Spiralling, he whined softly, his omega crying out for an alpha other than his brother to comfort him  
"Just close your eyes. If the doctor doesn't come in the next five minutes, I'll go find them"  
He nodded, knowing full well his brother would.

Mike arrived before Zeke had to go searching. The man polite as he explained that the bones needed to be realigned before a cast was put on. Eren's heart dropped. 6 fucking weeks in a cast. 6 weeks without dancing... as well as rehab time. All because he'd jumped off a fucking balcony. He should have jumped off the other side. He'd fucked up so badly... and Zeke was going to be so disappointed, even if he didn't say it out loud. Clinging to his brother, the alpha pushed him away. He knew Zeke was mad. He knew it and now he had to live with it. If he'd just stayed in his room, this wouldn't have happened. He wouldn't be in trouble with his brother and they'd be home. He'd be sleeping, or talking to Zeke about his business trip... not wasting the alpha's time in the ER. This is why he couldn't be alone. He never did anything right. Ever.

Zeke wasn't happy when Hanji stepped in to help cast his foot after the bones were realigned. His brother held him close while his angry scent filled the small space. From what Eren could tell, motion sensor aerosol spray points were set up around the space, cancelling the scents of angry alphas and distressed omegas, but with the curtain closed, Zeke's scent seemed to gather. Even if the anger wasn't directed at him, they were only half brothers and he still experienced some degree of fear. Hanji talked through the whole thing, making awful jokes as she went. The attempt at humour was appreciated, yet completely wasted on him while Zeke was this angry. He knew he probably looked awful, and Zeke could probably smell how distressed he really was, unlike Hanji. He'd broken his fucking ankle. He couldn't dance. He might not be able to return to dancing. He couldn't pay his rent or for his food. He had this huge cast on his foot that felt too much like some kind of torture device, designed to clip his wings and reduce him completely to a caged existence. He hated it. He hated himself for fucking up. All he did was cook and clean at home... but that wouldn't be enough. While Hanji filled Zeke in on the details of not getting the cast wet and to expect itchiness, Eren's eyes accidentally found Mike's. The way the man was staring right through him, it was like he could read every single thing going through his head. The omega's cheeks burnt red with shame, grateful to be distracted by Zeke taking his arm. He'd be on crutches, but the set they had was at home. He doubted they'd be any good, given how much he'd grown since the last time he'd needed them. He didn't dare say that though. Instead he mumbled thanks to Hanji and Mike, before letting Zeke guide him to freedom.

Zeke didn't talk until they were both seated in his car. His brother slamming his hands down against the steering wheel with a snarl. Whining softly, Eren drew his left leg up and pressed his forehead against his knee  
"Sorry. I know that it's not your fault"  
"I didn't mean to fall over"  
"I'm sure you didn't. Having that cast on is going to make things hard. I'll call the club"  
"What will you tell them?"  
"That you won't be returning for the foreseeable future"  
Tears filled his eyes, he didn't want to break down in front of Zeke, but he couldn't help it  
"Eren?"  
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry I'm so useless! I'm sorry you have to take care of me!"  
"I thought we talked about this. You know I hate it when you say this stuff"  
"It's true! I am useless! I love dancing! And now I ruined that too!"  
"Yes, well. We'll talk about that later. For now I'll take you home"  
Nodding and sniffling, he ended up crying himself to sleep during the drive back to the apartment.

 

*  
Reiner and Bertholdt were home when they'd arrived back at the apartment. Limping to the closest breakfast stool, Zeke held his arm as he climbed up. He was still sleepy for his nap, and swore his bed was calling his name  
"I'll put these bags in your room for now"  
"Thanks..."  
Wiping his face, he didn't want to face Reiner and Bertholdt, but Zeke hadn't said he could go to his room. On the other side of the bench, Bertholdt smiled at him  
"Fun weekend?"  
"Not really..."  
"What happened?"  
"I tripped and broke my ankle"  
"Oh, so you won't be dancing for a while"  
Nodding miserably, Eren looked towards his room. He wanted Zeke to hurry up and come back already  
"Leave him alone, Ber. He looks like he had a pretty rough night"  
Reaching over the table to ruffle his hair, Eren snapped, slapping away Reiner's hand as he pushed off the stool  
"Don't touch me!"  
Reiner's eyes widened, his hand jerking back. Rushing to his side, Zeke pulled him up close  
"What did you do to him?!"  
"Nothing. I went to ruffle his hair, but he freaked out"  
"You have no right touching him"  
"Zeke... please, it's ok. He just startled me"  
"It's not ok. He knows better than to touch you. I was going to leave you here, but I think it's better you come with me"  
"With you?"  
"We need groceries"  
Zeke never took him food shopping. Not since they'd first moved into the apartment  
"Are you sure?"  
"You'll be able to lean on the trolley, won't you?"  
Eren nodded. He didn't even know if he could stay upright, let alone force his exhausted body around a shopping centre. His nerves were frayed and he hated crowds  
"Yeah"  
"Good boy. Haven't you two got work?"  
"Not until this evening"  
Zeke sighed  
"Just make sure you clean up your mess. Eren cleaned this whole place for us"  
"Yes, Zeke"  
Reiner was game to reply. Zeke acting like he didn't even hear him as he started to fuss, before dragging Eren from the apartment. He just wanted to sleep... so badly.

The nearest shopping centre was only a five minute drive from their house. He didn't have time to nap, but he did have time for a headache to form from the lack of sleep. With his hand in Zeke's, his brother helped him from the car and towards the escalator. He hated them. The flat ones weren't so bad, but the steps... he was always paranoid he was going to trip down them. Or meet his doom at the grooves where the escalator ended. Clinging to Zeke, his brother nudged him at the end, scaring the hell out of him and nearly sending him face planting. Laughing at him, his brother continued walking, leaving him to be dragged along beside him. The stupid cast made it hard to keep up with his brother's long steps.

Eren was stuck pushing the trolley while Zeke basically ignored him. Zeke always went over board with the groceries, leaving Eren to prep everything he could before things went off. The three alphas didn't like frozen meals, so he had to make everything fresh for them. The only meals he didn't handle were his own, which was Zeke's department. Walking through the isles, there were so many things he wanted to buy and wanted to try. Knowing it was selfish to ask, he never said anything to Zeke about it  
"Eren, are you paying attention?"  
"Sorry. I was just trying to remember what else we need at home"  
"Do you need anything?"  
"Not that I know of... um... probably cleaning stuff? And bathroom stuff?"  
"Alright. You go head, I need to make a call"  
No... what? He didn't want Zeke leaving him alone. Everyone was staring at him! And he didn't know what he was allowed to get?! What if he got the wrong thing? Why would Zeke just leave him? Maybe if he waited near the cleaning products? He couldn't get what they normally got. He wasn't supposed to put things in. He knew the brands Zeke liked, but if he overstepped his bounds, Zeke wouldn't be happy. He didn't want to make Zeke mad. He didn't even know how to get home from the shopping centre. He didn't really know his own address, he just knew his building number was 104, and it was peeling from the forest green it had been. Pushing the trolley forward, he rounded the isle, finding himself in the bathroom isle. There was probably some fancy word for it all. He didn't know it though. Standing there staring, people walked past him. A few whispering as they did. They probably thought he was a freak. He was really. A male omega... a male omega who was scared of alphas. His breath caught. Zeke wasn't in the isle at all. He was there, all alone. He had no money, so if Zeke left him, he didn't know what he was supposed to do. What did normal people do? Did they call their friends? He didn't have friends. He had Zeke. Fuck... he couldn't breathe. He needed Zeke. He needed to get out of there. There were too many people. People watching him and judging him. Laughing that he couldn't do anything by himself. Squatting down, he covered his mouth with his hand. Small whines escaped his throat. He was so stupid. Zeke wouldn't stay with him forever. What happened when his brother finally left him? What he do then? He needed his brother. His brother was the only one who could help him...

"Eren"  
Blinking through his tears, Zeke's blurry face was right in line with his. He hadn't even heard his brother returning  
"You didn't put anything in the trolley?"  
Eren shook his head. Zeke taking his hand and pulling him up to stand  
"I didn't want to, not without asking first"  
"You're a good omega. I wish I didn't have to test you like this, but you brought it on yourself. You understand that, don't you?"  
"Y-yes"  
"Good boy"  
Zeke ruffled his hair  
"I have to make sure you don't do anything without me. If you left me, I'd never get over it"  
"I won't leave"  
"You don't know that. What if you find an alpha?"  
"I won't! I don't want an alpha!"  
"Hush, you're making a scene. Is that what you want? All these people staring? All these people talking about you?"  
"N-no"  
"Then wipe your face. We haven't finished shopping"  
"Sorry"  
"It's alright. You're such an obedient omega. As long as you stay right by me, I'll protect you"  
"Thank you"


	5. Chapter 5

"Leeeeevi! You'll never guess what happened last night!"  
Levi knew opening the door to Hanji was a terrible idea. Work hadn't been great. They'd attended a head on collision, where the male driver had died on impact. Doing everything they could for the female driver of the other car, she died on route to the hospital. Thankfully neither of them had passengers, but the female driver had been stinking drunk. Losing patients always hurt, but losing a patient to drink driving... it seemed so pointless. She could have just called a taxi. She could have slept it off. But instead, her carelessness had resulted in the death of man. Scrubbing his face tiredly, Levi wanderer back to his sofa where Titan climbed into his lap. The fat cat swatting at his hand as he picked up his long cold cup of tea  
"Levi?"  
"Rough day"  
"Right... I heard about that. Is there anything I can do?"  
"No..."  
Letting out a sigh, he continued his sentence  
"... you said something happened?"  
"Yeah, but it can wait"  
Dropping down into the sofa across to his, Hanji pulled her thick parka off  
"You came all this way. You might as well spit it out"  
"Weeell, of you insist. Eren was in the ER today"  
Levi growled. He was annoyed that she'd even go there, not when it was none of his business what the kid did  
"I know. But the kid... he interests me"  
"Why? Did he sprout a hundred shitty pickup lines?"  
"No. He was with his brother"  
Hanji's face darkened  
"What is it?"  
"Levi, I think Eren's being abused"  
"Abused?"  
A headache was already forming, and he didn't need this  
"His brother... there's just something unnatural about it"  
"Hanji, it's none of our business"  
"But he was scared Levi. Mike said he smelt sick and scared. Zeke was a total arsehole too. Demanded Eren be seen by another a doctor"  
"I'd demand another doctor if you were treating me"  
"I'm worried about him. His ankle was broken. It wasn't too terrible, and we only used a plaster cast. His brother didn't want anything fancy or complicated... it still looked horrible on his leg. His skin is like so soft... wait, I'm getting off topic. You didn't seeeeee him. He said he tripped when he got out of bed, but I don't believe it"  
"If he said he tripped, he probably did"  
"Don't you think..."  
"No. No, I don't. It's none of our business what he gets up to. We don't know him. He means nothing to either of us. Stop trying to make something out of nothing"  
"I'm worried about him. If his brother is treating him badly..."  
"Eren is big enough to take care of himself"  
"But Levi, I just... I don't want something happening to him, when we could have helped"  
Hurling his teacup across the room, Titan flew from his lap as Hanji flinched   
"It is none of our damn business, and I am sick of you constantly dragging me into your messes"  
"God forbid you actually let someone in and help you! I saw the connection you had with Eren! The way you looked at him! The way you touched him! You like him!"  
"So what if I do! He obviously doesn't like me! He doesn't even know me and if he did, he'd take off at the first chance he got!"  
"So what? You're not even going to try?!"  
"Of course I'm not going to try! He's a stranger Hanji. He has his own life! If he's sleeping with his brother, that's his business!"  
"The kids being abused! I know it! He had scars Levi. He had scars on his legs and when I asked, he got defensive. What kind of a reason does he have not to tell a doctor?!"  
"Everyone has things they want left in the past"  
"I'm worried for him... and I'm worried for you. I know you Levi. I know how hard the job is and I want you to be happy. That's all I want"  
"Then leave it alone Hanji. It's none of our business. He's not our friend. He was our patient. Was. We have no connection at all. So I don't understand why you can't just leave this in the past"  
"If I was to see him again, and he agreed to go on a date with you... would you agree?"  
"Because he's just going to go out with the first available alpha. Hanji, you need to come out of that deluded head of yours and see the real world"  
"My headspace is just fine, thank you. And you didn't answer the question"  
"No. Ok. No. I wouldn't go on a date with him. Working in a shitty place like that... who knows what he does"  
"Well he won't be working for the next 6 weeks, at any rate"  
"And how is that supposed to affect me? I don't care, so stop trying to force me to"  
He was so sick of seeing those green eyes. Eren's gentle face. His soft words. His pink lips and smooth skin  
"Fine. I only came by to tell you I'd seen him, and to check in with you. Seeing I've done both, I'll be leaving"

After Hanji left, he felt like an arsehole. Alone with Titan, the fact cat was mad at him for shooting him away from the broken teacup so he wouldn't get shards of ceramic in his paws. He was just so sick of not knowing what Hanji expected him to do. He couldn't very well track down Eren. He may have slightly googled the kids name, only to find no results. He hated being so stuck on someone, and their 15 year age gap made him feel like a pedophile for even feeling the slightest something for the teen. Eren would be 20 soon... but 15 years was a lot. Just because his alpha fancied Eren, didn't make it mutual. Still... He couldn't get the thought of the kid being abused out of his head. His wide green eyes had been so bright. Far too bright for someone being abused or hiding a secret. The goddamn, shitty brat had gotten under his skin, and he hated it. His life had steadily gone down hill since that night Hanji had forced him through the strip clubs doors. Nothing seemed to hold his interests the way they used to. Work felt like he was just going through the motions, and every time someone called in over an omega, his mind leapt to the green eyes brat. Now that Hanji had mentioned her suspicions of abuse, how was he supposed to react to each call? How could she do this to him? He hated everything he was feeling as it was. He hated it and she knew it. She scratched and kept scratching. Forcing the barely scabbed over wound of their meeting to begin bleeding all over again.

 

*  
Eren tried to dance, but with a cast on his moves felt stiff and wrong. His leg wouldn't move the way he wanted. He tried yoga to keep flexible, but being cage inside all day... it was stirring up memories and feelings he'd rather forget. His nightmares of the past left him shaking, or even worse, he'd wake up screaming. His depression and anxiety levels were off the charts. The slightest thing going wrong had him crying. He hated it. His favourite mug had fallen to the floor while unloading the dishwasher, and he'd sobbed. He'd howled as he picked up the pieces, until Zeke took them from his hands.

The days rolled slowly into weeks. Zeke was at work for most of it. His body felt weak from his body hovering in a state of near heat. He'd cleaned and cleaned, his hands cracked and pealing from the harsh soaps against his skin. It was crazy how much he missed the club. How he missed the way his body moved to the music. How he could escape from reality, even if it meant being watched by alphas like he was bitch in heat. The power he had to reduce them to their base desires and shatter the masks they wore during their every day life. It was intoxicating and nauseating. He hated it. Yet he wanted it He wanted to be free. 

It was about four weeks after his accident that his brother sat him down. Picking at the sleeves of his hoodie, he tried to make himself as small as possible. His brother didn't look happy, and he didn't want to say the wrong thing. Taking his hands in his, Zeke leant in, kissing his forehead  
"Eren, we need to talk"  
A lump formed in his throat   
"Y-yes?"  
"I had a phone call from the club earlier today. They've let you go"  
The words hit him blankly, taking a few moments to sink in  
"They fired me?"  
"They couldn't hold your position any longer. Not while you can't dance"  
"But..."  
"Eren, you know I need you to pay your rent"  
"How can I do that? If I can't dance..."  
"I have a friend from work. He's recently found his omega partner is infertile and is looking for a second..."  
Eren gasped. How would the omega feel about a second? Let alone a second who feared alphas and was as useless as he was   
"You want to sell me?"  
"Not sell you. Can't you see, you need to pay your own way"  
"Maybe if I talk to the club..."  
"They won't take you back if you can't dance"  
"Then... I'll do something else"  
"Eren, you have no skills. I don't want to kick you out. But you haven't paid me any rent for the last four weeks. You haven't contributed towards any of the food"  
"Please. Please let me call the club"  
"Eren..."  
"Zeke, I can't do anything! I only know how to do what I'm told. Please let me dance..."  
"You can't with a cast on"  
"Then... then I'll go see the doctor. I'll get it off. My ankle feels fine"  
"Eren..."  
"No. I need to contribute! I need to be useful to you. I can't be here if I'm not"  
"I'll let you think about it, but you know I have to do what I have to do"  
"Yes, Zeke"  
"Good boy"  
"Why don't you go back to your room and think. We can talk about it after you have"

Retreating to his room, Eren grabbed his phone. He hated calling his boss at the best of times, but he really needed his job. His heart was in his throat as his boss answered, Eren glad the man couldn't see his scrunched up face, or the tears in his eyes as he all but begged for his job back. Lying smoothly, he said his cast had already come off, and that he was ready to get back to work. Of course, his boss didn't make it easy. He could come back, but his pay would be docked by nearly a third, and he wasn't to cause anymore trouble. He was an omega and he needed to remember his place, because, he should be grateful to have a job at all. Ending the call, he threw his phone on his bed. He had his job back... but how the fuck was he supposed to get his cast off? He had no idea what the thing was even made of... he wasn't supposed to get it wet... maybe if he soaked it? Getting it wet was supposed to be bad... And then he could cut it once it was softer? 

Hobbling from his room and into the kitchen, he rifled through the top draw until he finally found the large breadknife he was looking for. It had teeth like a saw... and they sawed casts off... didn't they? Zeke must have been in his room, as he wasn't there to witness him make yet another stupid decision... which was definitely for the best. Armed with the breadknife and a plastic bag, he made his way into the bathroom.

Soaking the cast, it seemed to take forever for the white monstrosity to finally begin to come apart enough for him to get the bread knife in. It took forever, all over again, before he finally got it broken enough for the stupid thing to give under his insistent fingers. He could have moaned in relief, if moving it hadn't hurt. Scrubbing the pealing skin, Eren hissed and winced at the touches. Wearing heals or even flats were going to hurt like a bitch, and he had noooo idea how he was going to work the pole... he'd have to look extra nice as well. If he didn't, his boss wouldn't let him on the stage. Cleaning the plaster and cast fragments from the bottom of the bath, he had to rinse it twice to get everything out. Once he was certain all he could collect was tied up in the plastic bag, he started getting ready for work.

Scrubbing himself clean with vanilla scented soap, he washed and blow dried his hair, ratting it up into messy bun with three horizontal braids on the left side of his head near his temple. Painting his lips gold, his eyeshadow was a deep green to enhance his eyes, while his eyeliner and mascara were both gold. A pair of teal and gold war stripe on each cheek completed the look. He'd have to swallow down every ounce of pride he faked having. He didn't want to look like a girl, but the customers loved it. It all added to the fantasy that omegas were loveable and could be forced to do anything. His outfit was plain black jeans and a zip up hoodie. He'd change once he got to work.

When Eren walked out the bathroom, Zeke wasn't home. He messaged his brother to tell him they wanted him to come into the club to talk about his job in person. His ankle was already protesting him moving around so much, he couldn't risk strapping it. He couldn't go onto the stage with it strapped, and then there was the risk of leaving tape residue behind... which was hardly sexy.

By the time Eren reached the club, his ankle felt like it was on fire. A fine layer of sweat had his hoodie clinging to his back, while sweat beads rolled down his arse from his back. Taking the cast off had been a horrible idea. One he severely regretted, even if it had been a necessity. Zeke told him to think about it, and he had. He had to be useful. He had to push down his pain. He'd done this to himself, and had no right to complain. Letting himself into the club through the staff entrance, he gave a few small waves as he tried not to limp. Knocking softly on his bosses door, he waited to be called in. He hated the man's office. He hated the tacky shades of red and black. It was supposed to look sexy and erotic, but he'd seen more appealing things stuck to the bottom of his shoes. Reiss was a creep. The man treated all omegas like shit, even the male omega he kept "chained" in his office with him  
"Eren. I see you're back on your feet"  
"Yes, sir"  
"From my conversations with your brother, I was under the impression you wouldn't be returning"  
"Zeke was just worrying. He knows my health better than I do, but my cast is gone now"  
Reiss leant forward in his chair, interlacing his fingers as he dug his elbows into the leather part of his desk  
"You know Eren, its omegas like you that cause all the problems in life. If all omegas just listened to what they were told, we wouldn't have so much trouble with our customers. You are the single most troublesome omega here, but I can't deny you do get the alphas hot and heavy. The more worked up, the more they drink. If your body wasn't so appealing to them, I wouldn't have let you back through the doors. Am I making myself understood?"  
"You want me to keep my mouth shut and dance"  
"Exactly. You'll be on a probation trial for now, dancing with a new omega we've hired"  
He hated dancing with other omegas. They were supposed to touch and kiss... all but fuck right there in front of everyone. It wasn't so much dancing as soft porn  
"Yes, sir"  
"If I have even a single complaint about you, you're gone. And don't you dare think of sending that thug brother of yours here to cause trouble. I have enough worries without having an angry alpha taking his frustrations out on me because he's screwing his brother"  
Eeeew... he didn't need those mental images. Nope. He knew it seemed that way to a lot of people, but Zeke didn't touch him like that. He kept him close to keep him safe, reassuring him because he was so useless. He didn't touch him down there unless it was to clean him up during his heat  
"I understand"  
"Good. Now go. I don't need you in here stinking up the place"  
He hated this. He hated being treated like he wasn't anything. He just wanted to dance, and Reiss was the only way that was happening. He wasn't even the boss of the club, just the manager of the dancers.

Wincing with every step, Eren made his way into the dressing room they had to share. Making his way to what he'd deemed his usual seat, he dropped down with a long groan  
"Are you alright?"  
Jumping back up, he eyed the freckled faced stranger in fear  
"Sorry! Sorry, I'm new here. I'm Marco. I didn't mean to scare you, you just looked pained"  
Letting out a small laugh of relief, Eren sank back down  
"I'm fine. You just scared the fuck out of me"  
"Sorry..."  
Eren waved his hand, turning to look at himself in the mirror. He didn't look great, but his makeup was still perfect, so that was a win  
"It's fine. I'm Eren, I've been off for the last month"  
"Oh! You're that Eren"  
Raising eyebrow, he tore himself away from his reflection   
"That Eren?"  
Marco blushed  
"Sorry. I've just heard a lot about you"  
"That I'm a notorious trouble maker?"  
"That you're the best dancer here"  
"Oooh. Yeah. Maybe... I rolled my ankle so I've been out. It's not that interesting. How about you? How long have you been here?"  
"Um... since last week. My alpha and I are moved out here, but no one wants to hire an omega... this was the only place I could get a job"  
"You have an alpha?"  
"Yeah... do you?"  
"No. No, but I've got an over protective older brother who's an alpha"  
"Really?"  
"Is it that strange?"  
"You're just so pretty"  
Eren snorted, shaking his head as he looked back at himself   
"Thanks Marco. You're not so bad yourself. Did Reiss tell you what he wants us in today?"  
"No..."  
"Awesome. That means we can just make ourselves look good. Your freckles make you look innocent, so we'll go with something cute for you... how much experience do you have dancing?"  
Marco stuttered  
"N-not much..."  
The kid was some kind of freckled Jesus. Way too pure for this line of work. Sure there were other dancers who could step in, but Marco looked so lost. He couldn't help but want to protect the omega, even though he'd just met him  
"Let me help you. Take a seat and I'll check out the racks"  
"No offence, but you look like you should be the one sitting"  
"Trust me, I've been through worse than a busted ankle... hmm... I didn't have much luck with the angel wings, but they'd look great on you. Marco the Angel..."  
"I don't know..."  
Eren flashed Marco a wide fake smile, just because the kid was nice didn't mean they were going to be best friends. It was probably safer that Marco didn't get too close to him. Not with Zeke, Reiner and Bertholdt in his life  
"I've been dancing here for the last 2 years, and I've seen a lot. I don't want you making the mistakes I have"  
"Thank you, Eren. That would be really nice"


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know you want me to hurry up and get to the good bit, but sometimes setting the scene takes a little time

Eren whimpered in misery. Dancing on a busted ankle was agony. Dancing every single day, twice a day, for the last week on a busted ankle was agony. Marco had stuck by his side since the first day they'd met, Eren teaching him how do his hair and makeup properly, while Marco tried to cover the best he could for him. His ankle was painfully swollen and hot, his body felt feverish, and the stuffiness of the club left his lungs struggling for air. The painkillers he'd been swallowing down left him nauseous, but all of it was worth it if he could dance. Leaning heavily on Marco, the fellow omega supported him back from the stage and down to the changing room. 

Sitting him down in his usual spot, Marco took his leg into his hold, placing it up on the chair the omega had claimed for his own  
"Eren... this doesn't look very good. I think you need to go to hospital"  
"It's fine..."  
"You were whining and baring your neck"  
Baring his neck in an attempt to lure in an alpha to help him. Gross. He had Marco now, he didn't need help  
"I told you I can't go to hospital"  
"Why not?"  
"We're not having this discussion again. I'm just tired. A good nights sleep and a hot shower is all I need"  
Marco chewed on his lip, his eyes filled with unshed tears. In a lot of ways, Marco reminded him of himself, except Marco got to have a life and go home to an alpha that truly loved him  
"Hey, no. No tears"  
"But you're hurt"  
"It's just my ankle. Anyway, you looked hot out there"  
Marco blushed, his face was flushed red from dancing, but Eren knew he was blushing under it all  
"Not me. The way you move... I will never be that beautiful. It's like you're making love to music"  
Eren snorted, grabbing Marco's hand  
"You're not too bad yourself. I've never had this much fun dancing with another omega"  
Together they brought every alpha to their knees. Marco had taken over the title of "Angel", while Eren played the devil, luring the sweet little angel into his hold. Together they danced, grinding against each other nipping at each other's skin. Marco wasn't comfortable taking the lead, leaving Eren to. He didn't mind. He was sure Marco wouldn't be at the club for much longer given his alpha had managed to get himself a better position at the company he worked for. They didn't need Marco to be out working now, and while he'd miss him, he wanted his friend to hurry up and leave. He saw the way alphas looked at him, insisting Marco stay inside the club with him until his alpha picked him up personally. It didn't feel like they'd only met a fortnight ago. It felt like he'd known Marco all his life. They'd both come in early before each shift, and had spent hours dressing each other up. Eren taught Marco all the basic moves he needed, and how to move to the music, while Marco humoured him. Zeke wasn't happy that he'd been training the new omega, so Eren was careful not to talk about Marco more than he absolutely had to. He hated lying and deceiving his brother, but he feared Zeke would finally turn against him and abandon him for being so weak.

Letting himself into their change room, Eren pulled Marco close as Reiss stared down at them as if disgusted  
"I need you two to get back out there"  
"Our shifts are over"  
"You'll dance when I tell you to dance. They want you back out there"  
Marco the freckle faced saviour, went and stuck his foot in it   
"Sir, please. Eren's hurt"  
Reiss's nostrils flared like a snorting bull  
"What do you mean you're hurt!?"  
"I'm fine. Marco is just worrying over nothing"  
"Eren..."  
"Marco, drop it. I'm fine"  
Marching over to them, Reiss grabbed his arm and hurled him from his chair, forcing him to stand on his own two feet. Yelping, his ankle rolled, Marco grabbing him before he could fall  
"You're a fucking disgrace! How am I supposed to sell you like this!? I told you that you're not to make trouble for me! Get the fuck out of here"  
Marco clutched him tightly. Not used to Reiss's angry outbursts, the omega let out a small whine   
"You two aren't worth all this trouble. Get out of here. I expect this shit sorted out by tomorrow"  
"Yes, sir"  
Reiss left them, Eren slumping against Marco. He struggled to breathe. That horrible struggle that usually came right before vomiting. Sitting him back down, Marco fidgeted  
"I didn't mean to get you into trouble"  
"You didn't. Reiss doesn't like strong omegas who speak up. Have you texted Jean?"  
"I did before went up on stage. He'll call when he gets here"  
"In that case, we should get dressed"  
"I'll grab your clothes for you"  
"Thanks Marco"  
Eyeing himself in the mirror, Eren wanted to strike out and punch it. He looked absolutely horrible. His waterproof foundation starting to run from the sweat and heat, exposing the deep bags beneath his eyes. Fuck. He could sleep for a fucking week and it wouldn't be enough.

Dressed in his jeans and crop top, Eren hugged his hoodie. Inside the club had been boiling, but outside he freezing. He wanted to put on his hoodie, but didn't want Marco worrying while they waited for Jean. He'd never actually met Jean properly, only exchanging a "Hi" kind of thing as Marco climbed into the car  
"Are you sure you'll be fine to get home alone?"  
"Yeah. Reiner and Bertholdt get off soon, so I'll catch a lift with them"  
"I still don't know how you live with three alphas. Jean is forever leaving his stuff everywhere. It's like cleaning up after a child"  
"I swear alphas never grow up. Zeke's alright, but... I mean. They can't even put their dirty dishes in the dishwasher"  
Marco giggled  
"They're so bad"  
As laughter spilled out of the club, Eren grabbed Macro's arm. Pulling him away from the alpha pack leaving   
"You don't trust them, do you?"  
"They're drunk and ramped up"  
"I mean alphas in general"  
"Oh... no. But it's fine. I'll protect you"  
"Devil Eren saves the Angel Marco again?"  
"Something like that"  
Peering past Marco, he frowned at the group of alphas moving towards them. He couldn't see Reiner on the front door, or he'd have called him over   
"Hey pretty omegas. Looking to party?"  
Snorting and nudging his mates like it was hilarious, Eren rolled his eyes  
"Go home guys. You're drunk and if they see you, they'll ban you"  
The front alpha's smile dropped   
"What the fuck did you say?"  
"I said to go home. We're not interested"  
"The fuck did you say to me?"  
Marco whimpered, Eren head swimming from the onslaught of angry scents. Pulling Marco back, he moved in front of him  
"I said, we're not interested"  
"Who the fuck do you think you are?"  
"Who I am, has nothing to do with you. I just work here, and can get you banned if you don't fuck off"  
"You whore! You've obviously never had an alpha teach you your place in the world"  
"No omega would want a Neanderthal like you"  
Snarling, the alpha stepped forward, grabbing his hoodie and ripping it from his hold. Throwing the garment on the foot path, the man spat at it  
"You need to learn manners"

Eren had never been great at controlling his temper as a kid. His rebellious side had been torn from him as he'd been trained to learn his place. If he'd been alone, he could taken it. But Marco... he couldn't let Marco get hurt. Growing, he brought his hands up, shoving the alpha, as he gripped his shirt front   
"Why can't you just fuck off!? We didn't do anything to you!"  
"Eren..."  
"It's ok Marco. He hasn't got the balls to do anything"  
From the street came a beep. Jean always beeped to let Marco know he was there. Distracted by the beep, Eren was grabbed and thrown to the sidewalk. His ankle cracked, pain flaring up his leg  
"Eren!"  
Marco screamed his name, the poor omega sounding terrified. Booting him in the ribs, Eren's breath was forced from his lungs. The alpha laughing as he kicked him again, and again  
"This is all you omegas are good for! You disrespectful slut! Dancing up there. Being a fucking cocktease. If you were my omega, you'd know your place!"  
"I'd rather die than be yours. You're revolting"  
The words brought a smile to his lips, even if it was a fucking struggle to get them out  
"You little whore!"  
Kicking him in the face, Eren vomited. His whole body was shaking with pain. The throbbing in his growing worse  
"Jean! Jean, we have to have help him!"  
Why hadn't Marco run? He should have run... he could have been in Jean's car in seconds.

"What the fuck is going on here?"  
No. Not Reiner. Not like this. He'd tell Zeke... and Zeke would be so mad. Why couldn't he have come before all this happened?!  
"We're teaching this omega some manners"  
"Reiner, please. He was just trying to protect me..."  
Marco was sobbing now. The alpha having paused his onslaught of rough blows  
"It's alright Marco, the police have been called"  
No... not again. He'd caused another incident for the club...  
"What the fuck!? I was teaching him a lesson, obviously no one ever has!"  
With his eyes closed, Eren didn't see what was happening. Gentle arms wrapped around him, Marco pulling him close to him. His cinnamon and sugar scent filled with pair and fear. He wanted to comfort him, but he'd chewed the inside of his mouth up. Words were hard to form   
"Eren... why did you do that? You didn't have to try and protect me"  
Forcing his lips to move, he forced a smile   
"It's ok. As long as you're ok"  
"Jean... he didn't even get out the car..."  
Poor Marco. He adored Jean... and the way he talked about him, it was hard to believe Jean hadn't come to his rescue  
"Eren, I'm so sorry... I didn't want this... I'm so sorry"

 

*  
Coming off his shift, Levi was drained. The shift had dragged on, with only minor things, like the alpha who'd called an ambulance because their sister had gone into heat and he had no idea how to make it stop. Erwin had laughed way too much... way, way too much. He was so beyond fucking done. Despite his constant use of suppressants, he'd gone into a shitty fucking rut, and since coming back everything had felt half a step off. With a weary sigh, he hefted himself into his Range Rover, desperately wishing he had a cigarette or something to perk him back up until he got home. Synching his phone with his car, soft rock came through the speakers. He didn't usually listen to much in the way of music, but he needed something to keep him awake. Almost timed to the second of him pulling out the driveway, the song playing was interrupted as a voice announced an incoming call from Hanji. Groaning, he took the call. If he was mad at her, he'd be able to stay awake during the drive   
"Levi, can you get to the hospital like A-sap?"  
"I've just come off shift. I'm driving home"  
"Levi, please. This an emergency"  
"Hanji"  
"Eren's here. He's had the fuck bashed out of him, and he just had a massive fight with his brother. I don't want to sedate him, but he won't let anyone near him"  
Levi forced himself not close his eyes as he took a deep breath. She hadn't brought this shit up for weeks, and now... for fucks sake...  
"Haven't you got staff trained for that kind of shit"  
"He's scared, and not making much sense. I need to find out what his past medical history is before I put him under, or if he's taken anything for the pain. The omega who was with him said he'd taken painkillers, but he didn't know what kind... if he's been taking anything that contains aspirin..."  
Levi cut her off. Telling himself he didn't care or shouldn't care this much  
"Shouldn't it be on his file?"  
"Levi, please. The kid's falling apart. He keep screaming for Zeke and to go home. He's all alone here, and he's scared. He doesn't want the surgery, but he took his own cast off. If he ever wants to dance again, he needs to let us help him"  
"And how am I going to change his mind?"  
"I don't know. I just can't stand to see him like this... just 15 minutes. Please. If he doesn't calm down, then that's it. I will never mention him to you, ever"  
"1 minute"  
"10"  
"2"  
"5 and I'll behave"  
"Fuck. Is that even possible?"  
"Yes. Maybe... I can try"  
"Fine. But you fucking owe me for this"  
"I know, and I wouldn't be asking if Eren would just see sense"  
Pulling an abrupt U-turn, Levi wondered why he was even heading there. His alpha was angered over Eren being bashed, and Hanji's words of abuse came to mind. Had his brother fought before they'd arrived at the hospital, leaving Hanji to witness the aftermath and clean up? Or did something happen at the club again? And what kind of idiot cuts a fucking cast off? Hanji shouldn't have used a fucking plaster cast to begin with. No one used plaster casts anymore   
"Levi?"  
"I'm on my fucking way, make sure Olou knows to let me in"  
"Nanaba is on, but I'll let her know"  
Ending the call, Levi really did wonder what the fuck he was doing. If Eren was distressed, he wouldn't want anyone near him. Why was he listening to her? Why was he turning his life upside down again because of her? The hospital had counsellors. They had people trained to deal with distressed omegas. They had professionals and plenty of scent calmers and cancellers. And who was the omega with him? Why couldn't he calmed him down? Fuck. He couldn't cope with all this bullshit.

Arriving at the hospital, Nanaba let him through. The whole ER seemed bathed in the scent of a distressed omega, though he knew that had to be in his mind thanks to all the cancellers. Still, he found his feet taking towards the source of the scent, even if his mind was wandering. He didn't know what to say. How was he supposed to magically make Eren calm down?  
"Levi!"  
Turning around, Hanji was standing there with a file in her hands  
"Thank god you're here. Quick, come with me"  
Striding past him, Levi was left to jog the few steps to catch up with her  
"What happened?"  
"He was standing up for another omega outside the club. A group of drunk alphas bashed him, and when his brother turned up, they ended up having a huge fight..."  
"And you couldn't just talk to him?"  
"I tried, but after his brother left... well..."  
"And the omega he was with?"  
"His alpha took him home"

Rather than being in a bay, Eren was in one of the monitoring rooms. The omega was curled in the corner of the room, rocking and whining softly. The scent of rotten something hung in the room, the smell rolling his stomach as his alpha flared, angered Eren had been left like this  
"I just need to know what he's been taking for his ankle"  
"Ok. Five fucking minutes, then you come back in"  
"I'll be right outside the door"  
Walking over to Eren, Levi squatted down  
"I heard you've had a shit night?"  
Placing his hand on Eren's head, Eren let out a strangled scream. The teen kicking out at him, his breathing was shallow, gasping for air as if he'd run a marathon  
"Oi. Brat. Calm the fuck down. Come on, you need to breathe. Hanji just wants to help you"  
Panting the words out, Eren continued to work himself up further   
"Home... I want to go home"  
"You can't when you're this hurt"  
Raising his head, Levi winced at the teen's bloodied face. His lips was split, both eyes blackened and Levi suspected the kid's nose had also been broken. With his body no longer curled, he could see the bruising peaking out of the gown   
"Home..."  
"Eren, you can't go home"  
"I want Zeke!"  
"Your shitty brother left you here. He's gone. Now you need to help yourself out and tell me what the fuck you've been taking for this ankle of yours"  
"No! Give me Zeke! Please. Please give me Zeke"  
"Zeke isn't here. You're not a little kid. You don't need your fucking hand held. I need to know what you've taken for your ankle. That's all"  
"I want to go home"  
This wasn't working. He preferred to be blunt as he wasn't designed to be soft and cuddly. If the kid wasn't going to listen to him when he was being blunt, he'd have to change tactic. He'd seen enough abuse cases to know that logic and reason didn't always make sense   
"You can have Zeke and you can go home, but only if you let Hanji fix you up. You don't want him seeing you covered in blood, do you?"  
"Z-Zeke?"  
"That's right. You can go back to Zeke. You just have to cooperate"  
"I can't do anything without Zeke"  
"Then you need to tell me what you've taken"  
"P-panadol"  
"Just panadol?"  
The kid had to be hurting something fucking fierce. His ankle looked horrible, his body beaten, and he fucking stank. Maybe Eren had a naturally high tolerance for pain? He'd been pretty lucid when he'd fallen off the stage  
"Can I really see Zeke?"  
"If you're a good omega"  
He felt sick saying the words. Like he was encouraging the abuse. He could see why Hanji thought he'd been abused. The kid sounded like a child as he demanded his brother and to go home... his mind just couldn't believe the omega who'd flirted with him, was now a balling baby  
"I'll be good... just don't let them get me again"  
"No ones going to get you. Come on, brat. I need you to get your breathing back under control. In through the nose... and out through the mouth"  
"Zeke... need Zeke"  
God. Could the kid shut up about his brother and start worrying about himself.

Eren was still struggling to bring his breathing back under control when Hanji knocked on the door and scared the shit out the kid. With wide eyes, Eren gave a funny little squeak before his eyes rolled back  
"Levi?"  
"You can come in. You just ruined all my hard work"  
Lifting the unconscious omega, Levi couldn't believe how warm and soft the teen was  
"Is he alright?"  
"He finally passed out"  
"Did you get him talking?"  
Laying Eren down on the hospital bed, Hanji straighten out the teen's ankle as Levi brushed Eren's hair back from his face  
"You were right about him being abused. His brother's got him believing he can't do anything by himself"  
"Zeke was quite upset he was injured"  
"Sure. Look, he said he's only taken panadol, but if your taking him into surgery, he'll need to be closely monitored. He's been vomiting"  
"Yes, I already know. But look at your you're worried about him"  
"No, I'm angry that alphas still think it's ok to train their omegas to be useless. I'm angry at you for putting me in this situation where I have to encourage him over his abusers to calm him down. I bet you didn't even try to appease his need for his brother. You went straight to trying to tell him what you needed from him, didn't you?"  
"M-maybe. He was just so cooperative the last two times"  
"And this time he'd fought with his alpha. Seriously. Don't call me for this shit again"  
Looking down at Eren's face, the teen looked so frail and young. Levi hated the way his heart hurt over the sight. His alpha wanted him to wrap his arms around him and promise him everything would be ok, like it was some kind of fairytale. Life was no fucking fairytale. People didn't just fall in love and live happily ever after  
"You managed to calm him down, and get him talking. Thanks, I owe you"  
"You could have done it too, if you'd actually shut your mouth for a change and listened to words coming out Eren's mouth"  
"He wasn't making sense"  
"He was scared and wanted his brother. He wanted to go home. No doubt Zeke made him like this, completely dependent on him, and he didn't want to disappoint his brother. He'd probably walk through glass if he thought that would make him happy"  
"You really got through to him, didn't you?"  
"No. This is all from listening. Now get him prepped. I'm going home"

Levi was certain he hadn't been needed at all. Hanji's loud personality had upset the teen because she'd talked at him, rather than too him. Stumbling to his car, his mind was already home and in bed. His next shift started in 6 hours, and despite only needing a few hours of sleep each night, he honestly felt like he could sleep for a lifetime.

 

*  
Levi only knew a few days of "peace" before Hanji cornered him at work. She was coming off her shift as he was delivering a patient. First corning Erwin, before the pair of them ganged up against him. Dragged along under the pretence of paperwork, he was blindly lead into a room without asking. He didn't think Erwin would conspire with Hanji against him, but he was an idiot. The moment he stepped into the room, he let out a growl   
"What the fuck?"  
Glaring at his two friends, Erwin shrugged while Hanji smiled as if she wasn't a mischievous bitch. Laying on the bed, Eren was curled into another omega, both purring though Eren's purrs were the purr of an omega trying to calm himself  
"I just wanted to show you he's doing better. He's going to be feeling very sad and sorry for himself, especially as we had to pin and screw his ankle back together. He spent two weeks running around on it. Can you imagine the pain? He's a strong boy"  
"And I need to know this... because...?"  
"Because Marco there has been his only visitor. I've tried calling his brother, but he won't answer"  
"Maybe he's busy working?"  
"Or he's abandoned Eren"  
Levi's eyes narrowed further in disgust. An abandoned omega was nothing to be smiling about...  
"Why does all of this make you so happy?"  
"It doesn't make me happy. I have no idea how anyone could turn their back on such a sweet omega. I just wanted you to see him"  
"I've seen him. I'm leaving"  
"Without talking to him?"  
Pushing his way past Erwin and Hanji, he didn't know what he was supposed to say. The kid had his friend, and the pair of them were obviously close. If Eren had been abandoned, his friend would probably take him in. So absolutely none of this had anything to do with him. Ignoring the tall male alpha walking past, he continued through the maze of halls, leaving Erwin to catch up with him  
"Levi, wait up"  
"Don't fucking say it"  
"So that's Eren?"  
"I told you not to fucking say it"  
"He's just not what I was expecting. He seems to have really made an impression on Hanji"  
"I don't know what her fucking problem is"  
"I can hazard a guess"  
"Not you too..."  
"I saw how you looked at him"  
"And how was that?"  
"You were glaring, but your eyes softened when you saw him"  
"That's a load of shit. You're conspiring with Hanji. Admit it, you're both ready to marry me off to the first omega that you find's single"  
"Not just any omega..."  
"I fucking quit. I'm done with both of you"  
"She told me you managed to calm him down"  
Levi scrubbed his face tiredly, grumbling the words out  
"Hanji doesn't know how to shut her mouth. Anyone could have calmed him down. Anyone who bothered to talk to him"  
"He's still pretty cute"  
Levi barely kept himself from growing. Eren wasn't his omega. He was just the omega being forced on him by Hanji and now Erwin. That was it. Why couldn't everyone just back off?! And why couldn't they see this would only hurt Eren in the long run. The kid was used to being treated like property, if they got into his head and somehow convinced him that Levi was interested, the boy would cling to him, only to have things come crashing down again once the truth came out. It wasn't the basis for a healthy relationship. Not that he wanted one. Especially not one with Eren. No. He didn't want to date the omega at all... He did not have a thing for the kids green eyes. He did not have a thing for the teen's soft warm skin. And he definitely did not have a thing for Eren's pink and pouty lips. He did not like Eren. Nope. No way. His alpha was an arsehole, and given he was getting older, the need to mate and ensure his lineage was just driving him crazy. Yep. He was going crazy... because even that was preferable to admitting he might every so slightly like Eren.


	7. Chapter 7

No one knew what to do with him, and Eren didn't know what to do with himself. Zeke was gone. Zeke had left him. His brother swore he wouldn't, but he'd left him here. He'd yelled at him and left him here, with all these strange people. He couldn't go home... he didn't even have a home anymore. He didn't understand why his brother had been so mad. All he'd done was stand up for his friend, his only friend... but Zeke had been mad. He'd screamed at him how this was what he deserved and how he was ashamed of him. He hadn't meant to do the wrong thing, so why had it all turned out like this? Him alone in his hospital bed, with no visitors and nurses that shot looks of pity in his direction each time they came in. He just wanted to go home. He wanted his own bed. He wanted his room. He wanted his brother. If Zeke would just come back, he'd tell him how sorry he was. He'd promise to be good. He'd do anything his brother wanted... because without someone telling him what to do, he had no idea. Marco had come to visit him for the first week, every day he brought him fresh flowers and the curl up together, then Jean got mad about Marco spending time with the guy who cost Marco his job, so he hadn't seen Marco at all during the last week. The only person who really talked to him was Hanji, he didn't know why she went out of her way. Most of the things she talked about, he didn't understand. Nor did he understand why she kept talking about her friend Levi. He'd met the man like twice. It felt like he was supposed to be getting something, but he wasn't. He didn't always get conversations or social interactions. When he was hurting or couldn't understand, he'd resort to stupid jokes and sarcasm, to hide how stupid he was. Sometimes his mouth would just voice the words without him thinking. The only one he could talk to was Zeke. Zeke saved him. He turned up just as Eren needed him and took him away from all the bad things. But Zeke had gotten sick of him. His brother had thrown him away, like he wasn't anything special. He thought he loved him. That he was safe from everyone, because he had his brother by his side. What did he do now? He had no job. He'd left school when he was a kid... even though he wanted to go back to the club, he couldn't. Reiss had yelled at Marco until Marco had quit. Not that Marco wanted to go back after what had happened. He hated having ruined Marco's job for him. He was a good omega. A kind and loyal friend. Not like him. Marco didn't need to hide behind a fake smile like he did. Everyone loved Marco... but no one loved Eren. As evidenced by the fact he's still sitting in his hospital bed, despite the fact his surgery was two weeks ago.

When Hanji came in with his lunch, Eren's stomach rolled. He didn't like hospital food, and his stomach wasn't used to eating so much. All the staff got on his case about it. Breakfast at home was a bowl of cereal with a coffee. Lunch was a banana and a coffee. Dinner was a tiny bowl of salad, or what he'd buy himself on the way to the club. It was his routine. He knew it. It was safe and it was familiar. Sandwiches weren't familiar. Fruit juices or vitamin milk drinks, just didn't sit right in his stomach. He'd tried to be brave and ask for just a banana and coffee, but they'd told him he was underweight and malnourished. He didn't understand how he could be malnourished. He ate. He kept a healthy weigh through dancing. He looked healthy. He felt alright... and there was no way Zeke would let him be malnourished again... they'd worked on his eating habits. What Zeke gave him was enough...

"Hey, sweetie. How are you feeling  
Hanging his head, he stared at his hands as he shrugged  
"That good? I've got your lunch for you. I'm off for my break, so I thought we could eat together"  
"Have you heard from Zeke?"  
Hanji gave a soft sigh. Placing the tray on the hospital table, she manoeuvred it over his lap, before sitting on the opposite side  
"No, Eren. I haven't. I've tried calling, and so have the nursing staff. He's not answering"  
Zeke wouldn't always answer, but he'd call back...  
"Never mind about that, how about some lunch?"  
"I'm not hungry"  
"Eren, you need to eat"  
"I'm not hungry"  
"Please. Just try. Look, I snagged you jelly and fruit salad. And then there's strawberry milk afterwards"  
Her tone was like she was talking to a two year old  
"I'm not hungry"  
"I know you miss Zeke, but we can't get a hold of him. I'm sorry. The only reason you're still here is because you don't have a safe place to go home to"  
"I know!"  
His turbulent emotions and spiralling thoughts got the better of him. Covering his face, he started to sob  
"Eren..."  
"Zeke is everything! I can't do anything without him! He promised me he wouldn't leave and now he's gone! He's gone because I'm a bad omega that no one wants!"  
"Eren, you're not a bad omega"  
"I am! Why hasn't he come back for me?! He said he wouldn't leave me"  
Wheeling the trolley back out the way, Hanji shuffled forward. Wrapping her arms around him, she held him tightly   
"You're not a bad omega. In fact, I think you're a great omega. If I thought you were a bad omega, I wouldn't be trying to set you up with Levi"  
Eren hiccuped in surprise  
"Levi?"  
"Don't tell me you didn't realise that's what I was doing"  
"Wh... why?"  
"Because I think you'd be great together"  
Eren pushed weakly against her, repulsed by her words  
"You think I'm useless! You think I need an alpha to keep me in line! I don't want an alpha! I want to go home. I'm not a pet. You can't just shove me onto someone else when you're sick of me"  
Hanji's shook her head quickly  
"It's not like that"  
"You just want to pair me up with your alpha friend for your own reasons. What about what I want?"  
"Eren. I'm sorry. It came out wrong. I just thought you'd be a super cute couple"  
"You just wanted me out of the way! You're sick of dealing with me! I know you are!"  
"Eren..."  
"Get out! Get out and do come back!"  
"Hey, I'm sorry I hurt you. I really do think you and..."  
"I don't care what you think! We're not friends! You don't know me! You don't know my life! You know nothing and you're trying to shove me off to the first available alpha! I'm not a fucking doll for you to play with!"  
"You and Levi have a connection"  
"What connection?! I don't know what you're talking about! I'm not letting another fucking alpha touch me! I won't be made to go through that again! Now get out of here!"  
Hanji rose from the bed, straightening herself out   
"I know you're hurt and angry. But you have to let people in. I just want to help you"  
"Then help me by staying the fuck out of my life! I was fine until you showed up! Fine!"  
Rushing from the room, Hanji didn't look back. Eren was panting from exhaustion with all the yelling he'd done. He felt bad for losing his shit at Hanji, but she'd fucking started it. Just because she couldn't deal with him, it didn't give her the right to try and force him on an alpha. He didn't have a connection with Levi, outside the fact he thought the alpha was beautiful. But once he heard about how much of a nut job he was, the man would run.

Waiting until the nurse had done her rounds, Eren slid from his bed. He was sick of the hospital and even if he didn't know his way home, if he could somehow get to the club, he could figure it out from there. He could show Zeke he was a good omega. He'd beg his brother to take him back. Promise that he'd never be a burden on him again. Dressed in the hospital pyjamas he'd been given, he knew he probably stood out. Checking the draws and wardrobe in the room, he didn't find any of his belongings. Zeke had probably taken them when he'd first been called after the fight. The thin garments offered no protection from the cold, while the heavy cast on his foot was worse than the first one. This one was thick and waterproof, Hanji having thoroughly scolded him over removing the first one. Why didn't anyone get that all he wanted was to dance and to escape? He loved dancing. He was good at dancing, and he knew he was. The doctor who'd come to check on him after the surgery had said he probably wouldn't be dancing for the next year or so. That he'd need rehab... He couldn't wait that long. 

His great escape came to an end on the bench in front of the hospital entrance. Drawing his left knee up, he wrapped his arms around his leg and rested his chin on it. Staring out the world, he had no clue where to go. The streets stretched off into all sorts of unknown places, filled with unknown people. He couldn't go back inside, but the big wide world seemed so much bigger when he had no where to go.

"Is this seat taken?"  
Jumping at the voice, Eren blinked as he looked up. The alpha standing there was... scary. He was huge, broader than Zeke, with eyebrows that confused him. He couldn't even take the whole man's face in, his eyes just kept coming back to the man's eyebrows  
"N-no. Um..."  
Sitting down beside him, the man pulled a pack of cigarettes from his uniform pocket  
"Do you smoke?"  
He had before, but not in a long time  
"No, thank you"  
"Let me know if you change your mind, Eren"  
Eren frowned, tilting his head sideways to watch the alpha   
"Don't worry. I'm a friend of Hanji's"  
"I'm not going back inside"  
Erwin snorted, coughing when he choked on the smoke   
"I'm not here to drag you back inside"  
"I don't believe you. Your Hanji's friend"  
"What did Hanji do?"  
"She's trying to force me on an alpha"  
Erwin let out a loud laugh, Eren glaring at him. He had no right to laugh. He shouldn't have fucking said anything  
"Sorry. Sorry. I'm Erwin Smith. I work with Levi, and I've known Hanji for years. She's a little... well, she marches to the beat of her own drum. Once she gets an idea in her head, she looses sight of everything else"  
"She has no right to tell me what to do with my life"  
"She doesn't mean any harm. Is that why you're hiding out here?"  
"I'm sick of this place"  
"Then why not go home?"  
"They won't let me out without somewhere to go"  
"Ah... that will do it. Your brother hasn't been back?"  
Eren shook his head miserably. Hanji must have blabbed to everyone she knew about the pathetic omega no one wanted  
"Look. I'm not saying Hanji's right, but she does care about you"  
"She doesn't even know me"  
"That means nothing to her. Like I said, once she gets something in her head, it doesn't leave it alone"  
"I don't need anyone sticking their nose into my life"  
"It looks to me, like you do"  
"No. What I need it to get back to the club"  
"You're not going to be dancing anytime soon with that cast on"  
"If I can get to the club, I can get back home..."  
The teen's bottom lip trembled. He didn't want to cry in front of Erwin, but he missed Zeke. He missed him and he hated him  
"Do you have your phone?"  
Eren shook his head, confused as to why Erwin would be asking   
"My brother has it. And my clothes... he left me here with nothing..."  
"Here, give me your leg"  
"My what?"  
"Your leg. I'm going to give you my number, but you don't have a phone to put it in. I'll just write it on your cast"  
He didn't want anyone writing or drawing on his cast. He liked nothing being on it  
"I don't need your number"  
"Eren, it looks to me like you could use a friend. I'm not Hanji. I'm not going to force you talk or even call, but if you find yourself in need of a friend..."  
"My brother wouldn't be happy. He doesn't like me talking to alphas"  
"Even friends?"  
"I had a friend... but he's gone now. His alpha didn't want me being friends with him. I don't need friends... I just need to get home"  
Stubbing his cigarette out, Erwin flashed him a smile that made his stomach roll. The man probably had no problem getting omega he wanted, but the smile left Eren feeling cold. It was just as fake as the ones he showed to everyone. Erwin didn't want to be friends with him. He just didn't want him being mad at Hanji. He didn't care. No one cared  
"It was nice meeting you, Eren. I have to get back to work now. You should head back inside, Hanji will worry if you're missing"  
Eren doubted it. He'd been outside for ages before Erwin sat down. If she really wanted to find him, it wasn't like he was hidden. Left alone on the bench, Eren hid his face. He was still no closer to knowing what to do or where to go.

 

*  
Sitting in the back of the ambulance, Levi was cleaning up. Whichever shitty arsehole had the shift before him, had left everything everywhere. How were they supposed to help someone, if they couldn't find what they needed? Erwin was off having a smoke, leaving him in blissful peace. His partner had his moments when he talked just as much as shitty Hanji, so if he wanted to go ruin his lungs, his eardrums were all for it. With a light knock on the open door, Levi's peace was ruined. Wrinkling his nose as Erwin climbed into the back, the strong smell of distressed omega hung on his uniform, conflicting with the harsh smell of stale smoke   
"How's it going?"  
"Shit. These fuckers need to learn how to clean their own messes up. What took you so long?"  
"I just had a very interesting conversation"  
"Nothing Hanji says is interesting"  
"I wasn't talking to Hanji"  
"I didn't think Mike was on"  
"He is, but it wasn't with him either"  
"Do I look like I want to know?"  
Erwin nodded   
"Yes. Because I was talking with Eren"  
"Nope. Not interested"  
"I think he was trying to run away"  
Levi rolled his eyes. With his foot in a cast, he doubted Eren would be running far   
"Don't give me that. The kids depressed. He wants to go home"  
"Why doesn't he discharge himself then?"  
"Hanji told him he couldn't go until they had somewhere safe for him to go"  
"The kids over 18. He can discharge himself out at any time"  
"But he doesn't know that. The kid doesn't even know how to get home"  
"And what's that got to do with me?"  
"Nothing. Just making conversation"  
"Well stop it"  
"He had a fight with Hanji"  
"Really? I didn't think he had it in him"  
"Hanji was trying to set him up with you"  
"When the fuck will she learn?"  
"So he's homeless. He doesn't even have a change of clothes"  
"No. Don't go there"  
"You've got a spare room"  
"It's not a spare room, it's a guest bedroom"  
"Which is empty. You know Hanji can't take him. She and Moblit are trying for a baby"  
"No ones fucking taking him in. He's a shitty brat who's big enough and ugly enough to figure things out on his own"  
"Levi, he doesn't even have friends"  
"If you like him so much, why the fuck don't you take him in?"  
"Maybe I will"  
He had no idea why his friends couldn't just leave Eren to sort things out on his own. He couldn't be babied for the rest of his life, and he was clearly deeply troubled. He didn't need the hassle, no matter how cute the omega was. No. No. Eren wasn't cute. He wasn't falling it or Eren's charms  
"Don't go giving him charity. You don't know him. He's not our concern"  
"So you're happy for him to end up on the streets, risking being assaulted?  
"For the last few fucking months, all I've been hearing about is Eren. He isn't my omega. He isn't my worry. I don't want him raped or assaulted, but he isn't our friend. We don't know him and we don't owe him anything"  
"Then why do you talk about him so much?"  
Levi's head shot up, his brow wrinkled in confusion  
"I don't"  
"Really? Do you have any idea how many times you've complained to me about Hanji trying to set you up with him? Every time you complain about him, it's always "I don't care how cute she thinks he is..." or "he might be a little cute, but...". You like him, you just don't want to like him"  
"I don't even know him"  
"But you're always thinking about him. You say you don't believe in true mates, but you went into a rut after meeting him. It's the first rut I've ever seen you have, so there's no way it's not Eren related. Even with all the suppressants we have to take. The kid sent you into a rut. You like him, and that's ok"  
Levi growled. Erwin had no idea what the fuck he was talking about. He went into a rut because he skipped a dose of suppressants due to work. And besides, that hadn't been until about a week or two after meeting Eren. If they were true mates, he would have gone into a rut straight away...  
"Fuck off and try to reborn as something less annoying"  
"He won't be going anywhere for a few more days. Not unless someone finally tells him he can discharge himself. Just give it some thought"  
"And say what?"  
"That you like him. You love him. You want to bond with him and marry him?"  
He should have known he wouldn't get a clear answer  
"Alright. Maybe not. But right now, the kid just wants to go home. Maybe you could offer him a ride"  
"Back to the brother that abuses him. How kind of me"  
"Then go with him"  
"I'm not going anywhere with him"  
"Eren thinks if he can just get home, his brother will take him back"  
"He dumped him off when he got to be too much trouble. This is something Eren needs to work out on his own. Now, get out of the way. I'm trying to fucking clean"  
"Then I might give Hanji a call and let her know that Eren is out the front"  
"Fine. Just do it somewhere away from me, and spray yourself down scent canceller. You fucking stink"  
"I don't smell anything"  
"Like cigarettes and distress. Any alpha we have to deal with, it going to smell omega stink all over you"  
"Eren barely has much of a scent"  
"Whatever. Just get it over and done with"  
All he knew was the scent of Eren's pain and sadness, that awful rotten smell that clogged up his nostrils and took hours to disappear. He couldn't help but wonder what a happy Eren would smell like. Something probably fruity. Most omegas smelt fruity, or sweet and desirable. Somehow fruit didn't really seem to fit the mental images his alpha had conjured of less than innocent things. No. Eren smelt like rainy days and dusty books. He smelt of reading under a thick blanket while drinking a fresh cup of black tea. Don't ask him what that smelt like. He had no idea how anyone smelt like reading under a thick blanket, but that's what his alpha had decided. Ignoring Erwin, he tried to push the kid out of his mind.

 

*  
With no other choice, and having been caught by Hanji. Eren was back in his room. He kept falling asleep, despite how much he'd wanted to stay awake. If he slept, he didn't have to deal with the fact that he was too much it of a coward to leave. Things were awkward with Hanji, she'd only come to visit him that day he'd talked with Erwin, so maybe he'd finally gotten her to back off? He tried to tell himself that he didn't care and didn't miss her, but the hospital was so quiet and lonely.

Roused from his nap by coughing, Eren momentarily panicked before realising it was Erwin sitting in the visitors seat. Confused by the man's visit, he tried to push himself up, despite how fatigued he was   
"Don't worry, it's just smokers cough. I didn't mean to wake you"  
Yawning, Eren nodded without really thinking why  
"Hanji said you were feeling pretty down"  
"Hanji says a lot for someone who doesn't even visit"  
"She's been swamped lately. But she did mention you haven't had any visitors in the last fortnight"  
"I have no one to visit me"  
"We gave your friend Marco a call. He had his heat, and has been dealing with depression from not conceiving, but he said he missed you. He thought you were out by now, because his calls weren't being answered"  
So Marco went into heat? It'd pretty intense after he'd been bashed... but they had no right calling him like they were his parents, wanting to know why their kid wouldn't play with theirs. It was humiliating...  
"So what are you doing here?"  
You've been in hospital for three weeks now. I thought you might appreciate getting out of here"  
"What do you mean, getting out of here?"  
"Hanji and Moblit have made a room up for you. That's part of why she's been so busy"  
"You're what? Sending me to live with Hanji?"  
"Just until you can get back on your feet"  
"I don't need your charity"  
"It's been another week with no word from your brother. And as much as I like this place, it isn't somewhere I'd like to spend weeks living. So, I've come to pick you up"  
"Why wasn't I told about this?"  
"Hanji was sure you'd say no"  
"She's right. I don't want to live with her"  
"I'll make you a deal. If we go see your brother, and he agrees to take you back in, you can stay there. I won't stop you and you won't see us again. But if he doesn't, you'll stay with Hanji. Just until you get your feet back under you"  
Eren didn't hear anything after Erwin said they could go see Zeke. That's all he'd wanted to do for weeks. To see his brother and to tell him he was sorry  
"You promise you'll take me to see my brother?"  
"Yes. I'm going to need to rely on your directions though"  
"Umm. If we go to the club first, I can tell you how to get there from there"  
"Sure... I brought some clothes with me, whatever doesn't fit you can leave in the bag. I'll return it later"  
"Oh... thank you?"  
"You don't need to sound so confused. Consider this an apology from Hanji and I, for last week"  
"Ummm. Ok... can we go now?"  
"You don't want to get changed first?"  
Eren looked down at his hospital pyjamas   
"Oh. Right"  
Zeke wouldn't be too mad about him wearing new clothes... he hoped. Maybe if he explained to him, he wouldn't be mad? If explained everything... he could go back home?

Erwin's driving was slightly terrifying. The man wove through traffic like he owned the road. The GPS guiding them to the club. His heart started racing as the building came into view. The club had been his life. His escape from the pain of living, and now he'd never go back to it. Erwin slowed, not coming to a stop as he Eren found his voice. Guiding him towards the apartment building he called home, his left leg wouldn't stop bouncing. He didn't know what to say to Zeke. He didn't know anything at all  
"Hey, Eren. It's alright"  
"What if he really doesn't want me anymore?"  
"Then you'll come live with Hanji and Moblit"  
"Zeke said he wouldn't leave. That he'd keep me safe"  
"We won't know anything until you talk to him. Where am I going?"  
"You can park here..."  
Erwin found a spot about half a block from the apartment building. Eren struggled to remember how to breathe as the man got out, retrieving his crutches from the back seat. Opening the door, he waited for him to climb out  
"It, uh. It looks nice"  
"It's not... but the apartment was always clean and warm..."  
"Want to show me the way?"

The elevator was out of order, meaning it was 7 flights of stairs up to the eighth floor. Eren was exhausted. Erwin on the other hand looked all strong and alphary. Being an alpha, he was blessed with endless reserves of stamina, usually used to mount and breed their omegas. At least that's what Eren thought. He was dancer, and had more stamina than the usual omega... but not enough for 7 flights of stairs on crutches  
"It's right here..."  
They'd reached the door before he was ready. Raising his hand, Erwin knocked... and knocked... and knocked. The alpha kept knocking until their neighbours came out and yelled at him that Zeke and "the others" had moved out, and to "shut the fuck up". It felt to Eren like he'd been submerged in a fish tank. His knees folded, his breath caught and then he vomited all over the door and floor. Zeke was gone. He hadn't even said goodbye. He'd left him. He'd left and taken everything with him. He promised he'd never leave. He'd promised he'd keep him safe, and wouldn't let them ever hurt him again. What had he done that was so wrong? He'd stood up for his friend. He would have taken being beaten to pulp if it meant saving Marco from being hurt... He still would  
"Eren?"  
Shaking his head, he didn't want to hear anything Erwin was about to say  
"Maybe something happened? You said he saved you? Or kept you safe? Maybe he had to leave you keep you safe?"  
No. The people who'd hurt him were dead. Zeke had taken care of them... like he took care of anyone who got too close... oh god... What if his brother tracked him down to Hanji's? What if his brother tried to hurt them? It would be all his fault. Sobbing and wheezing. He couldn't say anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gotta remember that just because it's on my tumblr, doesn't mean I've posted it here...


	8. Chapter 8

Erwin was fucking late and Levi was suspicious. Hanji was hosting a BBQ, with all of their friends invited, as well as the omega he'd seen cuddled into Eren. He had no idea they'd become friends, but the omega had steadily been winning over everyone, much to the annoyance of the alpha sitting beside him. Levi had only said two things to the man since he'd got there, "hello" and "do you want a beer?". That was enough. The man was an arsehole. It was bad enough he was being forced to be social. But being nice and social... it was too much. Hanji could have one or the other... It was only because she'd threatened to take Titan away that he was even here. He hadn't thought she'd been serious until he was woken by a very distressed cat, and a not so quite cat burglar in his apartment.

Hearing the crunch of tires on the blue metal drive, Hanji rushed to the curtain, spying out like a paranoid neighbour  
"Erwin's here!"  
The front door literally opened into the open plan kitchen, lounge and dining area where they were all gathered. If she could have waited a few more minutes, Erwin could have announced himself. Jogging over to the door, she threw it open  
"Erwin! So nice... oh, you better come in"  
The room went silent as Erwin carried in an unconscious Eren. It was then that Levi knew he'd once and truly been had  
"Guys! It's ok. He just fainted. Anyway, this is Eren! He's going to be living here for a while!"  
He was what? What about Eren's family? He needed fucking answers.

Placing his glass of scotch down, Levi followed Erwin and Hanji upstairs. Eren not stirring as Erwin carried him down to the guest room he'd thought was supposed to be turning into a nursery   
"Care to fucking explain what happened?"  
"His brother skipped town. Moved out and didn't tell him about it. He's officially homeless"  
Hanji let out a small gasp  
"How did you find out about Zeke?"  
"I took him by the apartment. Told him that he could talk with his brother, and if he agreed to take him back, he could stay there. Neighbours not so kindly informed us that they'd left. Eren freaked out, and collapsed. He smells like he's going into heat. Have you got suppressants for him?"  
"Yeah, I should do. I have just about everything in the bathroom. Fuck... I didn't want to believe his brother could leave him... he said he'd saved him"  
"He said the same thing to me. Zeke kept him safe and protected him. I get the feeling Eren has more than a few skeletons in his closet"  
"Oh. Good. Levi, can you keep an eye on Eren? I need to get his shot organised while Erwin grabs the rest of Eren's things out the car"  
The look between the pair was missed by the agitated alpha. If Eren was going into heat, he shouldn't be anywhere near him  
"Awesome. Thanks. I promise I'm totally not trying to set you up with him, it really was because he has no where to go"  
"Whatever. Just hurry up"

Left alone with Eren, Levi sighed at the uncomfortable looking position Erwin had left him in. The kids hair was all over his face. Sitting on the edge of the double bed, Levi reached out, brushing the teen's hair back from his face. Despite its soft appearance, he really needed a good haircut. He shouldn't be fucking doing this. He shouldn't be sitting on the bed with Eren, not when was this distressed. Ghosting his fingers down, he cupped Eren's face. Even in his sleep, the kid was crying. As his thumb wiped at the tears, he realised what he was doing. Going to pull away, he was stopped as Eren whined softly, rolling and wrapping an arm around him. Hiding his face against his leg, as he whined again. Gently prying Eren away from him, the kid had a deceptively strong hold. He didn't want Eren rousing completely, so was fucking stuck like this. Much to Hanji's delight, when she finally returned  
"Did he wake?"  
"No, he fucking rolled over and now I'm stuck"  
"As long as you're stuck, would you mind keeping him still. I need to pull his sweats down enough to inject him"  
"Don't you have tablets?"  
"I do, but this will work faster. What do you think about his brother?"  
"I didn't expect him to pack up and leave him. Not with how possessive he was"  
"Maybe it's for the best, if he was being abused?"  
"He has severe abandonment issues and you're saying it's a good thing he's been left again. You don't listen to yourself do you?"  
"I just mean... now that Zeke's gone, Eren has the chance to start all over again"  
"I doubt he's going to see it that way"  
Hanji hummed, before climbing onto the opposite side of the bed. Sliding Eren's sweats down, she wiped the spot over with an alcohol wipe, injecting the sleeping omega with the suppressants  
"Hopefully this will keep his heat away until he can adjust to his new surrounds"  
Eren let out a whine, his hand gripping Levi's side   
"Here, I'll help get him off you"  
"Good. I can't believe you didn't fucking tell me about this"  
"And I can't believe you really thought I'd steal Titan"  
"I see how you look at him. You scared the fuck out of him"  
"I had planned to wake you up with him in the carry cage, but there was no way he was going to fit into one"  
"No. He's a bit too big. You better not be planning on trying to get us together. He needs to heal"  
"Nope. They wanted him out of the hospital. I stalled all I could, but as far as they see, it's a bed being wasted"  
"Fucking shitty arseholes"  
"Pretty much. He looks so innocent"

It was a struggle to get Eren off of him. The omega whimpering and grabbing for him as Hanji pulled him off. Once free, he grabbed the spare pillow off the bed and placed it into Eren's hold. The teen holding it tight as he curled around it. For someone with such a tall frame, it was funny how gentle he seemed to really be. Creeping out the room, Hanji closed the door so he'd have some privacy.

In their absence, the gathering had picked back up. His seat now occupied by Erwin, who was talking to the omega. Upon seeing him, the omega got to his feet, carrying over his glass from before  
"Sorry, I grabbed your drink so nothing would happen to it"  
"Uh. Right. Thanks"  
"I'm Marco. I danced with Eren for a couple of weeks, before everything happened. Is he alright?"  
"He's sleeping at the moment"  
Marco seemed to deflate   
"I'm sure he's just tired from the trip"  
"You're probably right"  
Slinging her arm around his shoulder, Hanji beamed   
"Marco, Eren just needs a little nap. If you want to go up and join him, I'm sure he'd love the company"  
Marco looked back at his alpha  
"I don't think Jean would be too happy. He thinks Eren's a bad influence"  
"I think Jean needs another drink. Oh, I've got Eren a new phone. Well, I got Erwin to pick him up one. Do you mind if we give him your number?"  
"That would be really nice. Thank you, Hanji. And thank you for taking Eren in. He's a really nice guy, and helped protect me, so it's nice he'll be living somewhere so nice"  
How could this kid be so nice? And since when did he say "nice", even mentally?! This. This is why he shouldn't socialise. This niceness just wasn't his cup of tea. The world was a shit place... and oh fuck. Hanji pushed away from him, Petra walking through the door with a smile   
"Petra! Come on in! Marco, this is Petra!"  
The poor kid had no idea what was coming, but as Hanji guided the two of them away, he was grateful it wasn't him.

 

*  
Confused green eyes fluttered open as Eren pushed the pillow he'd been drooling into away. His body felt revolting. Like he was boiling alive in his skin. Fuck. He knew this fucking feeling too well. He knew the throbbing between his thighs, and sticky wetness. The aching in his chest and the sweat covering his body. Fucking heat. This was like his forth in less than three months. Even if they only lasted for a few days, and even if he could mostly keep his mental faculties during them, he hated them with a passion. Omegas were supposed to go into a full heat. Days of pleasure as they came over and over, filled to the brim by their alphas. Or days of self pleasure in desperate need. Not this limbo of arousal that left him hurting himself, while still able to get up and move around. He was fucking sick of it... and worst of all. His heat was starting while he was in a new place. He didn't feel safe. This wasn't his bed, and none of this stuff was his... he was alone... he was alone and he couldn't take care of his heat alone... and he couldn't tell Hanji. Or anyone. He couldn't cause them trouble. He didn't want to be all alone again.

Climbing from his bed, his intention was to find a bathroom. Only, his leadened limbs tangled, sending him sprawling across the bedroom floor with a ridiculously loud thud. Rolling on his back, he flung his arm over his face, before sniffing in confusion. The scent on his arm smelt amazing. His omega purring it's acceptance of the scent. He wanted to wrap himself it in, and submit.

"Shit brat. Do I want to know what happened?!"  
Eren blushed harder than he'd ever blushed in his life. The delicious scent radiating from Levi matched the scent on his arm... shit. He couldn't let the man know  
"Uh. Yeah. I think I fell for you all over again..."  
"Again?"  
"Yeah, 'cause, you know... at the club"  
Levi sighed heavily, walking over to his side and offering him a hand up  
"You shouldn't be laying on the floor. Not in this place. Hanji is terrible at cleaning, and Moblit isn't any better"  
"Moblit?"  
"Her husband. She didn't tell you anything, did she?"  
Eren stared up at Levi. The man had deflected his joke like it was nothing  
"I don't have all day brat, and by the smell of it, neither do you"  
"Oh... I think I'm going to stay down here"  
Levi shrugged, letting his hand drop  
"Suit yourself. I'll let Hanji know not to disturb you. Have fun jerking off"  
That fucking arsehole. He could have just told Hanji not to disturb him, but no. He had to bring up the omega thing  
"Because you fucking alphas don't go through ruts or anything. If anyone's a wanker, you are"  
He was quite proud of that. Levi's eyes widened a fraction before he snorted  
"Says the omega laying on the floor. I don't care what Hanji's got in mind, but I have no interest in you. Enjoy the floor"

And then he left him. Eren's heart felt like it was breaking at Levi's rejection. He knew it was his omega's fault and the fault of his heat. But Levi smelt like nothing he'd known. Like true safety. He'd been safe with Zeke. Zeke had gotten him back on his feet. Had nursed him back to health and helped get him his job. Zeke had been there through his nightmares. He'd taken care of the people the police wouldn't deal with. He'd been safe... but Levi smelt like... he smelt good. He didn't want him to leave... and now that he had, he wanted to run after him and beg him to stay. Disgusted by his own desires, Eren stayed laying on the floor. He was being stupid he didn't need an alpha. All alphas did was hurt omegas. Zeke was the only alpha he could trust. His brother was... his brother was gone.

Falling back to sleep on the floor, he woke to find he'd been scratching in his sleep. With his legs covered, his arms had born the brunt of the attack. Fuck. Hanji would ask questions and he wouldn't be able to give her answers. It was bad enough someone had been in the room while he slept. The lamp beside the bed was on now, blankets were neatly stacked at the end of the bed and by the bed was a small bucket. Peeling himself off the floor, he cringed at how gross he felt... first thing was first. Bathroom. Shower. Collapse back in bed and pray Hanji didn't see the scratches.

 

Coming back from the bathroom, Eren nearly had a heart attack. His eyes widened as his heart leapt. Everything was forgotten. Rushing across the room the best he could, he threw his arms around Zeke. Burying his face in the curve of his neck as he started sobbing softly  
"Where were you?"  
"Eren, you need to be quiet"  
"You left me"  
"I had to. After all the trouble you caused, your picture ended up online. You know it's not safe. You put all of us in danger"  
"I didn't mean to"  
"It doesn't matter if you didn't mean to. You still did. We had to leave"  
"But you're here now?"  
"Because I need you to stop looking for me. I need you stay here"  
"I want to come with you"  
"You can't. It's not safe"  
"But why?"  
"You know why. I need you to stay here"  
"For how long"  
"Until things are safe again. I'm not bringing you with us"  
"I'll be good"  
"You stay that, then you start fights for no reason. I can't have you if you're not going to behave. Maybe getting you that job was the wrong thing to do. You've been out of control for months"  
"I'll do better"  
"You always say that, but you never do. I know you can be good. But I don't have time to retrain you"  
"I don't want you to go"  
"Just stay here and I'll come back when it's safe"  
"You will?"  
"Come here, you're in heat. You should be in bed"  
"I don't want you to go"  
"I have to. You're not a child Eren. It's time you started taking responsibility for your actions. I didn't raise you to be a whore or to start fights"  
So all of this... he'd brought all of this on himself. Reiner, Bertholdt and Zeke were in danger because of him... his world was crashing down around him  
"I feel so sick"  
Zeke kissed his temple, nuzzling against the spot as he gave him a quick squeeze  
"Lay down. You shouldn't be moving and causing more trouble"

Throwing up was never fun. Zeke rubbed his back and played with his hair as he did. He didn't want to believe this was the last time he was going to see his brother. He didn't want Zeke to leave. His words had hurt. They'd cut deep, but Zeke was right. He did start fights. He wasn't a good omega who lowered his head to just any old alpha that came along, and now he had to go because of him. He hated it. He'd done this. He'd put them in danger all because he couldn't keep his mouth shut  
"I have to go. Stay here and keep your mouth closed. They can't know I was here"  
"Please..."  
"Eren. This isn't up for discussion. Stay here and don't cause me any trouble"

Falling asleep wasn't welcomed. He didn't want to close his eyes. He didn't want to say goodbye to Zeke. Not after weeks of separation. But exhausted from the fever, the nausea and the heat, he couldn't stop himself. When he woke, there were no traces Zeke had even been there. His body burnt with fever that felt more than heat. He couldn't even keep his eyes open. The whole world span each time he did. If Zeke was here, he'd know what was wrong... but his brother had left him. He'd told him stay here with strangers... because he'd done everything wrong. He wanted his big brother back. He would have followed him anywhere and would have done anything he'd asked him too. He loved him. And wasn't that what you were supposed to do when you loved someone? Give up everything you ever wanted to make them happy? Zeke wanted him to stay here. With these people. So for his brother's sake, he'd do whatever they said until he could see him again.

 

*  
Levi had a rare day off and he was determined to make the most of it. He'd scrubbed his apartment from top to bottom the night before. He'd turn off all technology. Closed all the blinds and windows, and was catching up on some reading while Titan lounged along his stomach. The fat cats purrs vibrated his chest. The plan had been to give Titan a bath, but he'd been desperately wanting to finish his book for the last month. His goal was so close. Less than 200 pages to go.

And then... it all went down hill. Titan heard Hanji before he did. The massive feline standing, knocking his book from his hands as he tried to sit on Levi's face. Spluttering over the mouth full of fur, Levi lifted Titan off, his book falling to the floor. Distracted by his cat, Levi missed the key sliding into the door. He'd carelessly left the chain off, allowing Hanji to come marching in. Throwing the curtains open, Levi groaned at the unwanted intrusion  
"Where the fuck have you been? I'm running late to work as it is"  
"Fuck off. Its my day off"  
"I know. Erwin told me, and he said you'd be the one to help me out with my small problem"  
Depositing one the coffees from the tray in hands on the coffee table, Levi glared at the drink  
"Whatever it is. No"  
"You haven't even heard me out"  
"You're going to want me to do something, when I have absolutely no intention to"  
"You wouldn't be helping me... just a certain depressed omega who's come out of heat. Please Levi! Moblit booked him a doctor's appointment, but neither of use can take him"  
"Why can't you reschedule?"  
"Because it's Eren. He's recovering from his heat. No one even taught him to look after himself during his heat... he ended up dehydrated and hurting himself. This was the only appointment I could get him, the next was next month and I want to get a full physical done before his hormone levels level out completely"  
"Why not Erwin?"  
"Erwin's busy. I already asked. Please. He doesn't know everyone, and you seem to be able to get through to him. It's just the doctors appointment and a little shopping"  
"Shopping?"  
He hated shopping. Shitty sneezing people. Loud children. Long lines. Nope. Online delivery had been a blessing  
"Erwin only picked him up a few things. But he doesn't have the basics. I didn't even think to get him his own toothbrush"  
"You couldn't even take care of a cat, what were you thinking taking care of a kid?"  
"He's not a kid. He's 20 soon. Please, I don't want him to miss this appointment"  
"Where is he?"  
"Thank you! He needs to be at the clinic at 1. I've sent all the details to your phone, and you've even got time to get ready"  
"Do I want to know what the time is?"  
"A little before 9"  
"I fucking hate you"  
"I know you. But this is for Eren. He's at home, so you'll have to pick him up. I've left an envelope with money on the kitchen table, and Eren knows about the appointment"  
"You left him unsupervised?!"  
"He's not a thug. And he's been in the house for the last week without anything happening"  
"Because he's been in heat"  
"Actually, his heats are a little weird. That's another reason I want him going to the doctors"  
How the fuck did he end up roped into this? Eren was Hanji's responsibility and she shouldn't have made the teen an appointment she knew she wouldn't be able to be there for   
"Fine. But seriously, if you're going to look after Eren, you need to get your head in the game"  
"It wasn't my fault! Moblit wasn't supposed to be working, but he was called in"  
"So this is Moblit's fault?"  
"Pretty much"  
"Do you know how much you owe me?"  
"I promise I won't bother you for a whole month"  
"We both know that's not going to happen. Now get the fuck out of my apartment"  
"Ok! Right! Thank you!! Call me once the appointments over, or if you have any problems. He's been a bit down, so I hope you'll be able to cheer him up"  
Hanji had met him, right? He wasn't exactly winning any awards for his superb people skills. Kissing his cheek, just to be extra annoying, Hanji swept from the apartment.

Levi tried to refocus on his book, but that wasn't happening. The pages were wrinkled from where it'd fallen on the floor, and the sofa wasn't as comfortable as it'd been. She'd totally ruined his whole day of relaxing and reading. Reaching for the cup of coffee, he cautiously took a sip, it was some girly, cream sodden crap filled with caramel. What happened to the good old days when people just drank plain coffee? Not that he was a heavy coffee drinker to begin with, but all the fancy fucking names seemed completely unnecessary.

Having showered for the second time that day, Levi left the house at a little after 12. It wasn't like Hanji's house was all that far away, but the clinic was closer to the hospital than he'd expected, which was a half hour drive. Spraying his car out with scent canceller, he eyed the empty leather seat on the passenger side. He had no idea if Eren was going to be slicking or oozing omega pheromones. Maybe he should have put a towel down for him? No. That was too much like what you'd do if you were driving a dog around... if the kid made a mess, he'd just have to make him clean it back up. Fuck. Why the fuck was he so nervous? He'd met Eren. He'd told the kid he wasn't interested in him and this was simply him doing a favour for a friend. The brat wasn't a little kid. He didn't have to worry about shitty nappies or temper tantrums, and it wasn't like he didn't spend most of his days driving strangers around. This stranger just happened to live with Hanji, and instead of using the ambulance, he was using his own car. He had absolutely nothing to be afraid of... no. He wasn't afraid. He was just annoyed over being disturbed. Yes. That was it...

Pulling up in front of Hanji and Moblit's house. Eren was sitting on the front step. The kid had his arms wrapped around his waist as he stared out at the passing traffic. His heart did a funny jump, while his alpha growled. It looked like Eren was waiting for his brother, like a lost dog or some shit. Scolding himself, he turned the Range Rover off, climbing from the car with a heavy sigh. This was a mistake. Most certainly a mistake. Rounding the car, he watched as Eren pushed himself up. The kid grabbing his crutches and limping his way towards him without prompting   
"Hey, brat. You right there?"  
"I have an envelope for you"  
"That's not what I asked"  
"Sorry. I don't know what I'm supposed to say"  
"You could start with hello"  
"Hello"  
Eren ducked his head, a slight blush on his cheeks  
"That's better. Give me your crutches and get in. Try not to mess anything up"  
Eren handed over his crutches, then opened the passenger side door. Waiting until he was settled, Levi closed the door, before putting the kid crutches in back. The teen seemed happier than he'd expected him to be. So that was something... climbing back behind the steering wheel, he found Eren holding out the envelope   
"You locked the house up, didn't you?"  
"Yeah and the alarms on"  
"I don't think Hanji even knows she has an alarm"  
"She doesn't. Moblit showed me"  
"She'd be completely useless without him"  
Taking the envelope, Levi chucked it up on the dash. He'd deal with it once they got to the clinic.

The drive was fairly quiet and uneventful. A bit like the clinic. The building blending seamlessly in with the buildings around it. He wasn't even sure they were in the right place until they entered. The beautiful scent of disinfect greeting them as Levi trailed behind Eren. He'd expected Eren to be hesitant about visiting a doctor, but the kid walked right up the desk and introduced himself. Shooting the woman a smile, the kid took the clipboard she'd offered, explaining to just take the forms in with him when he was called. Stubbornly holding the damn clipboard, he hobbled over to the bright blue waiting chairs and sank down with frown. His green eyes flicking over the pages before biting his lip. The kids scent turning rotten the longer he stared at it  
"What's wrong?"  
"Um... I don't know Hanji's address or anything"  
"Fill in what you do know"  
Eren's scent only soured further  
"What's wrong? Can't you read?"  
"N-no..."  
"No? No you don't want to tell me? Or no you can't read?"  
"I can't read properly"  
The teen sniffled sadly, Levi cursing under his breath. Hanji hadn't told him that   
"Give it here, I'll fill out what I can for you"  
"I should... I should be able to do this much"  
The rotten smell shifted, reflecting Eren's movement from embarrassment to anger. Plucking the clipboard from his hold, Levi skimmed through them. They were pretty standard questions. Age. Dynamic. Address, etc  
"When's your birthday?"  
"March 30th"  
Hanji had said the kid was turning 20, now he had the date  
"Last heat?"  
"Not last week, but the week before... um, 4 in the last few months"  
Levi blinked a few times  
"4 heats?"  
"I don't have proper heats..."  
4 heats had to be fucking rough. No wonder Hanji wanted him looked at  
"Do you take anything for them?"  
"No"  
"Alright. They'll probably ask you about it when we get in there"  
"We? You're coming in?"  
"Unless you don't want me to"  
"I don't see why you have to..."  
"I don't have to. I just assumed"  
"So I can go in alone?"  
"Do you want to?"  
"If I can"  
He shouldn't have said anything. Fishing out the note from Hanji about the tests she wanted done, he clipped it to the board. Eren wouldn't know what to say, so as long as the doctor seeing Eren had half a brain, they'd follow Hanji's words  
"Here. I've filled in what I can"  
Eren's eyes were teary as he took the clipboard back  
"I'm sorry"  
"It's fine. Can I ask why you can't read?"  
"I don't want to talk about it"  
"Alright"  
As far as he knew, compulsory education was also for omegas. Eren should have been in school until 15 at least. The kid should definitely know how to read and write.

Eren looked like he was ready to collapse when he was finally called in. Taking his paperwork with him, Eren limped away. He didn't see why he could just go with the kid. He was a fucking paramedic. He'd seen all kinds of messed up shit, and doubted anything Eren had to say would be all that bad. As usual, the wait was longer than the appointment. Eren came limping out, looking upset   
"How'd it go?  
"Fine. We can go"  
"Are you sure everything is ok?"  
The fucking smile Eren gave him was about as fake as you could get. His body language screaming at Levi to stay away. Making sure he had everything, Levi moved to Eren's side  
"You don't look happy"  
"It's fine. It's done now"  
"I can go talk to your doctor..."  
"Levi. Leave it alone"  
"The get that fake smile off your face"  
"How do you know its fake?"  
"Because it's clear as fuck that you're not happy. I can smell it"  
"You can smell me?"  
"Yeah. You smell like rotten fruit"  
"Well fuck you too. Can you just pay already?"  
"We're not done talking about this"  
"Whatever. Talking doesn't magically cure everything"  
"No, but it might loosen the stick up your arse"  
"Oh, like you'd know all about what's up my arse!"  
The look on Eren's face as he realised why he'd said was priceless   
"You know what I meant. Fuck. This is why I hate alphas! Stop thinking about my arse"  
"I wasn't think about it to begin with"  
"Sure, you weren't. I fucking hate doctors. They're all weirdoes"  
"You do realise Hanji's a doctor"  
"See. Point proven"  
"At least it's over and done with"  
"True. I just don't understand why they have to ask so many questions"  
"Would you rather they didn't?"  
"Not when it's shit that has nothing to with anything. Please tell me we get to go home after this?"  
"Not quite..."  
"Not quite?"  
"Hanji asked me to pick up a few things. You're tagging along with me"  
Handing over his card, Eren's appointment was charged. It was so much easier than dealing with the cash Hanji had given him  
"Do you need another appointment?"  
"Nope. Let's go"  
"Eren, do you need another appointment or not?"  
"No. I told you I don't. I didn't even need this one"  
Taking his card back, he thanked the receptionist as Eren started hobbling towards the door as fast as he could. The brat had definitely become a pro with the crutches. He was already waiting by the car by the time Levi was halfway there.

 

*  
Levi had mistakingly thought Eren liked shopping, but the kid was useless. He didn't know what clothes size he was. He didn't know what size shoes he wore and every time Levi turned around, Eren's attention was on something else. They were supposed to be picking shoes out, but Eren wasn't being cooperative. Instead was sitting on the bench in the shoe section, staring down at his phone. Levi was about to get mad at him when he noticed Eren was silently crying. Walking over and squatting down in front of him, Levi couldn't stop himself as he reached up and brushed back a few stray strands of Eren's long hair  
"Hey, brat. Wanna tell me what's wrong?"  
"I made you mad"  
"You think I'm mad?"  
"Aren't you? I can't read or write properly. I don't know what size I wear. I can't even go shopping or to the doctor on my own. You've been stuck looking after me because I can't do anything. I fucking hate it. I hate it. I wanted so badly to be able to do all these things by myself, but I'm useless"  
"Did something happen with the doctor? You've been off since you came out"  
Eren's voice dropped to a whisper. The kid looked fucking broken  
"I don't think they liked me"  
"Did they say that?"  
"No... but... I couldn't answer all her questions. Zeke... Zeke always took care of it all. I told I her I didn't want to take anything for my heats, but she still made me get an injection. She said I didn't know what I was talking about"  
Levi blood boiled. He should have gone in with the kid, and as a health care professional, she had no right dismissing Eren. It was his body  
"Can I ask why you didn't want anything?"  
"I got my first heat when I was 8..."  
8\. That was fucking rough. It wasn't unheard of, but like ruts, heats got harder and harder to deal with, without a mating partner  
"Mum... mum hid it from my dad... but... they said it's because of severe traumatic stress that my heats have been messed up since. Suppressant injections make them even worse... they make me go into heat"  
He was dying to ask what had happened when his father had found out, but could guess. Not all alphas accepted their omega children, especially when they were boys instead of girls  
"Zeke always looked after me. I hurt myself in my heats. I don't even know I'm doing it, because I do it in my sleep. He knew what to do... but he left me"  
Reaching up, Levi wrapped his arms around Eren. There were a few moments where the omega was tense, but slowly he hugged him back  
"I'm so sorry. All I know how to do is dance, and I can't do that anymore. I'm so useless"  
He wasn't great at comforting people. He never knew the right words to say. Eren didn't seem to mind his lack of answer. Well aware of the fact they were in a department store and in plain sight of other people, he slowly broke the hug   
"You're not useless. You've just been through a whole heap of shit. Did Zeke use to take you clothes shopping?"  
"No... he chose everything I wore. He... he saved me, so I didn't used to tell him if I didn't like something"  
Despite the opening to ask Eren what he meant by "saved him", Levi found himself putting Eren's needs ahead of his curiosity. Or maybe he was still stubbornly trying to deny any feelings he had for the kid...  
"Hanji said to pick up anything you want or need"  
"She can't afford that"  
"She can"  
"No... I don't even have a job. I can't pay her back"  
"She isn't expecting you to. It's ok"  
"It's not ok! I don't want to owe people. I hate it. I hate having debt. An adult pays their own bills and for their own things"  
The alpha had the feeling that was Zeke talking, and not Eren   
"How about this. I'll pay for the shopping and when you're back on your feet, and when you've got a new job, you can pay me back"  
"Like... like a loan?"  
"Yeah. Like a loan"  
"But... won't you need the money? For rent, and food and bills?"  
"Kid, I'm pretty sure I can afford to pay. Besides, you're going to be pay me back, aren't you?"  
Eren stared into his eyes. The kid's face was a total mess of snot and tears  
"Aren't you?"  
"Y-yes...?"  
"Good. Now... is there anything in particular you want or need?"  
"Um... music"  
"You want music?"  
"I want to dance"  
"You won't be dancing for a few more weeks"  
"But I can do stretches, can't I? I, um... like working out"  
"I guess you'd have to be pretty fit to dance"  
"Mhmm... when I'm dancing, I don't have to remember"  
He wasn't going to touch that one either. Straightening back up, Levi held his hand out   
"The sooner we finish, the sooner we can grab something to eat and get out of here"  
"You're sure you can afford this?"  
"Trust me brat, it's nothing"

The idea of a loan must have appealed to Eren. The teen perking up as they looked at shoes and clothes for him. From clothes they moved onto picking out a yoga mat and light weights for him to work out with, as well as his own towel, mug, bathroom supplies. His alpha's ego swelled during their shopping trip. When Eren actually got to talking, the kid was pretty funny, and nothing like what he'd expected, especially not for a male omega. He didn't like wearing women's clothing, except for jeans because the cut was generally better. He didn't like jewellery or accessories that much, where most omegas loved shiny gifts. He didn't like complicated shampoos and conditioners, or things with complicated names. And for the most part, everything he chose was more for practicality than appearance. He was nothing like the make-up wearing dancer he'd first met. He was a male omega, and would be rather seen as a guy, than the fantasy he'd been on stage. By the time they'd reached the check-out, the kid had worn himself out, and Levi knew he was completely fucking screwed. He wanted to know more about Eren. He wanted to see him smile and hear about his lazy days. He wanted to make him laugh and make him happy. He was screwed and there was no fucking way he could tell the teen. Eren had just come out of an abuse relationship with his brother. It was clear that Eren would have done absolutely everything Zeke had asked of him, without a second thought. The kid wasn't ready for anything. Probably not even for a friendship with him. His confused state would warp anything he felt... it wasn't a great feeling. 

Paying for Eren's shopping, the teen clammed up once he saw the price. $463.27. The kid had probably never had to pay for anything in his life and working as stripper had probably been a minimum wage job... if that. Walking from the department store, Eren kept his head lowered, leaving Levi to sighing mentally. It felt as if the tiny cracks in Eren's walls had been cemented back over, and he was being shut out all over again  
"What do you feel like eating?"  
"I'm not hungry"  
"I didn't ask if you were hungry. I asked what you felt like eating"  
"I... um... Zeke usually chooses"  
"I'm not asking what Zeke likes. We can grab something from the food court and eat when we get back to Hanji's"  
"You're not going to make me eat here?"  
"Brat, this place is a cesspool of germs. Even Hanji's place is better than here. So no. We'll grab something and take it home"  
"Um... I usually just have salad"  
"Salad is fine and all, but you need to eat more"  
"I eat enough"  
"You've come out of heat, and you said injections tend to bring it on. You'll need your energy"  
"I don't have normal heats..."  
"Just pick something to eat. Then we can get out of here"  
"I don't know what I like! Ok! I was always fucking hungry, and if we got takeaway, it was what Zeke liked or felt like. I don't even know what I like!"  
With Eren yelling, all eyes went to the kid's huge body. For an omega, he had about a head on him, which did nothing for his alpha side, knowing he was pretty short in the world of alphas  
"Ok. You don't need to fucking yell. Why don't we just get burgers? Is that alright?"  
"It's fine"  
"Good. It's sorted. Do you know what time Hanji and Moblit get off work?"  
"No..."  
"I supposed they're big enough and ugly enough to make their own dinner"  
"You don't need to..."  
"I swear to god, if you tell me I don't need to buy anything, I will personally sit you down and force feed you"  
Eren looked scandalised. His mouth hanging slightly open, as he spluttered to recover   
"You wouldn't dare"  
"Wouldn't I?"  
"I thought you hated me"  
"I don't hate you. And if you're going to be living with Hanji, I expect I'll end up seeing you from time to time"  
That wasn't what he wanted to say at all... and Eren seemed to slump under the weight of the words   
"Oh. I guess you're right..."  
"Of course I am"

 

With dinner purchased, the car loaded and Eren dozing in the front seat of his car, Levi was mentally lecturing himself over Eren. Again. The whole drive to Hanji's passed in a blur of self induced annoyance, with a splash of hatred directed towards the doctor Hanji had booked for Eren. He hadn't paid all that much attention to the woman's name, as the appointment hadn't been for him. Now he wished he had. Four heats in the last few months was fucking insane, and with injections sending him into heat, a fifth would be coming on. It was too fucking cruel... Eren needed to get whatever was going on in his head sorted out. He didn't need to be dealing with a heat, then depression from not conceiving. As they pulled up at Hanji's, that was what he told himself as he left the kid to sleep while he carried the shopping in and unloaded it in the living room. Everything would have to be washed, so they could sort it all after dinner. Eren's more personal things could stay in the bags for the teen to deal with himself... which is why he took them up to the teen's room. Again. It wasn't the real reason. He just didn't want to risk waking Eren and saying the wrong thing again.

When he found there was nothing left to do, he returned to his car to retrieve the brat. Eren was snoring softly, unaware he'd been left sleeping for the last half hour. Fuck it. The kid needed his rest. Carefully untangling the seatbelt from around him, Levi lifted Eren out the car, carrying him up into Hanji's house, where he laid him down on the living room sofa. It was after 5, so one of them should be home soon. He'd stay until they were. So Eren didn't have to wake up and find himself alone.

Much to his annoyance, Hanji and Moblit arrived home at the same time. Eren was still sleeping, while Levi was picking at the last of his fries. Shushing Hanji as she went to yell, the woman's face softened at Eren's sleeping form  
"Look at him. He looks so happy. Moblit, isn't he cute"  
Moblit rolled his eyes at his wife's enthusiasm   
"Hey, Levi. Are you staying?"  
"I hadn't intended on it, I was just going to fill Hanji in on how today went"  
"Right. I'm heading up for a shower, so I guess I'll see if you if you're still here when I come back"  
Kissing Hanji's cheek, Moblit headed on upstairs, while Hanji walked over to the kitchen area. Gathering up his fries, Levi headed over to join her. The grin on her face was far too wide for an ER doctor  
"Soooo. How did it go? Was he ok? Did he talk to you? How long's he been sleeping? And did you buy me food?"  
"Nope. Eren's dinner is in the fridge though"  
"You brought him dinner!"  
Clamping a hand over her mouth, Levi hushed her. Waiting a few seconds before removing it  
"Don't wake him. He's going back into heat"  
"He's what?"  
"The shitty clinic doctor gave him a suppressant shot"  
"It was on my notes to. One of those 6 month ones, along with contraceptives"  
"Apparently they just fuck up his heat. He tried to tell her, but she told him he was stupid"  
"Uuurgh. Really? He just had his heat. I wanted him to take a break from worrying about it"  
"He mentioned something about "severe traumatic stress". I don't know what happened, but from the sound of it his dad didn't take him being an omega that well"  
"Do you think he did something to him?"  
"I've got no idea. The shitty fucking bitch had him in tears"  
"Fuck. I got him an appointing there because they're supposed to be good with omegas"  
"Well they weren't with him. You're going to have to keep an eye on him"  
"Yeah... and Hitch will be hearing from me. I can't believe she'd pull this shit"  
"I'm pretty sure she wasn't the one he saw"  
"Would you even remember what she looked like?"  
"Probably not"  
"Did you take him shopping?"  
"Yeah. If he asks, I paid for everything. He was feeling pretty self conscious over not having any money and he didn't want to inconvenience you. I told him it was a loan"  
"Money doesn't matter. Did you get him everything?"  
"Everything he needs. The clothes will all need to be washed first"  
"Why? They're new"  
"And covered in dye and chemicals. You don't want that shit on your skin"  
"I forgot how picky you are about those things"  
"Don't forget the strange scents on them"  
"You know, it sounds to me like you care about him"  
"Don't start that shit again. The kid can't even read and write properly. He didn't even finish his compulsory education. I had to fill his forms in for him"  
"I'm sorry. I totally owe you for today"  
"I believe you said a month of pester free silence"  
"He wasn't that bad, was he?"  
"Other than crying and yelling in public, not really"  
"What else did you get him to say? He get nervous when he's talking to Moblit and I haven't been able to get much out of him"  
"Nothing really. He doesn't know how to shop for himself because Zeke did it all. He doesn't know what food he likes because Zeke always chose. Oh. He isn't into jewellery and accessories, and doesn't like girly things that much. Though I'm pretty sure he slipped nail polish into the shopping, but you probably shouldn't mention that. I wouldn't go talking about Zeke or his past either. He talked a little when he was crying, but started shutting back down again. Also, he hurts himself in his heat when he's sleeping. He didn't hurt himself on purpose"  
"I wonder if I can find some kind of old hospital records for him"  
"Hanji, don't. He doesn't want to talk about it, and if you push him, he'll run"  
"But I want to help him"  
"You know domestic violence victims need to feel safe before they'll open up. If you dig into his past, you risk him shutting down completely. The best way to help him, is to get him feeling useful again. Let him do his own dishes and washing. Hell. Let him clean your whole fucking house. Even if he's the worst cleaner in the world, he'd still be a hell of a lot better than you"  
"I'm not that bad"  
"You're not that great. I'm going to head off. And even if you can't keep to a month free of shenanigans, I expect to go the whole week from shit"  
"I'll try my hardest!"  
"Also, your monies paying for my petrol"  
"That's fine. Thank you for taking him"  
"Don't thank me like that. You sound all creepy when you get serious and sincere"  
Hanji poked her tongue out   
"See, I knew you liked my sense of humour"  
"Keep telling yourself that"  
"I will. Because it's totally true and never going to change"  
Leaving his rubbish on the kitchen bench, Levi headed back into the living area to double check he had everything. Eren was still dead to the world, and the alpha had to force himself not to ruffle the teens messy hair. He couldn't get closer to Eren, and he'd never be the kind of alpha Eren deserved. So maybe the kid's heat coming back on was what he needed to force himself to stay away?


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look! You're all getting this the same day as it's up on tumblr instead of the day after!!

With Hanji and Moblit at work so much, Eren had noticed a few things. Moblit was almost always exhausted when he came home, while Hanji almost always had way too much energy. Hanji was horrible at cooking and cleaning, so when he was home, Moblit was the one who did all the work. It didn't sit right with Eren. He was sitting at their dining table eating their food. He used their water and power and slept in their spare bed... and he paid nothing for all it all. He didn't like it. He wasn't used to it... but with the cast on his ankle, he couldn't find a new job. Without a job, he couldn't pay for his share of everything. So he started helping around the house. Just small jobs at first. Like doing his own washing, or stacking and emptying the dishwasher. When neither of the pair said anything, he took it to mean he was doing the right thing. With the chores being done, Moblit had more time to rest, and more time to be with Hanji, and that made him proud. Every morning he'd wait until the house was empty to start. He'd vacuum and mop, before cleaning through the kitchen and tackling the washing. He even managed to get the curtains down and wash them, surprised to find they were actually white and not the coffee colour they'd been when they'd gone into the machine. Sure, it was hard as fuck to manage the stairs with a full basket of washing and annoying cast on his leg, but it was worth it. The house felt bigger and brighter, it smelt like lemons and oranges, instead of the empty void left from scent cancelling spray, and he most of all, it kept his mind busy. Almost daily he'd text Marco, his friend wanted to catch up, but even with all the work he was doing around the house, Eren didn't feel like he had the right to invite Marco over. He still felt at times he was being too pushy and clingy. His anxieties getting the better of him, especially when he didn't hear from Levi again after they went shopping. He also didn't want to get too attached to the place, because Zeke had promised he'd return... not that his heart was listening to his head. In the apartment, he couldn't play his music too loud, but if Moblit wasn't on split shifts, he could have it as loud as he wanted. No one was there to judge his awful singing. No neighbours were banging on the door because he was being too loud. He'd missed music so much. It kept the demon at bay, and kept the memories from suffocating him. So he kept going. 

Waking up later than normal, he went about his morning routine in the bathroom, before getting dressed to face the day. A small amount of concealer hiding the black bags that marred his face. He'd had nightmares the night before, and how he hadn't woken Hanji and Moblit, he had no idea. Grabbing his crutches, he headed downstairs.

Moblit was cooking breakfast as his limped in, while Hanji was sitting at the dining table. It was rare for them both to be home in the morning, and his stupid anxieties rose their ugly head  
"Good morning, Eren. Come take a seat"  
He swallowed hard. His first instinct was to run. It didn't matter that Hanji was smiling, he was sure she was about to yell at him. Limping over to the solid jarrah dining table, he slid into the seat closest to Hanji. He'd fucked up. He'd fucked up and now they were getting rid of him...  
"Eren, are you alright?"  
Nodding quickly, he pushed a fake smile to his lips  
"Just a little sleepy"  
"Aren't we all? Anyway, Moblit and I wanted to have a little chat with you"  
Here it came. She was going to yell... he'd messed up. He shouldn't have cleaned the house. He should have stayed in his room, where he couldn't make trouble  
"Moblit and I have been talking..."  
Cutting her off, the words fell out before he could stop them  
"I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have cleaned without asking. You've got every right to be mad... I mean... it's your house and I'm stranger... I didn't mean to make trouble for you"  
"Huh. What? No. We're not mad"  
"Y-you're not mad?"  
"Hell no. If you want to clean the house, go for it. No. That's not what we wanted to talk about"  
"It's not?"  
"Moblit, are you mad Eren's been cleaning our house?"  
Moblit snorted  
"Nope. It's never looked or smelt better, and it's been a huge help having another set of hands around here"  
"You're not going to yell?"  
Hanji placed her hand on his  
"Nope. We actually wanted to know if you'd like to make it an actual job. Not like a real job, but more like for pocket money?"  
"What? Why?"  
"Because you're cleaning our house, silly"  
"You're letting me stay here... I can't pay rent or anything... I don't need payment"  
"Sweetie, we didn't take you in so you'd do stuff for us. And we thought you might feel a little bit more independent if you had some income coming in"  
"But you guys are the ones paying for everything. It's not cheap living here, even in the suburbs and there's food, water, power, rates, gas... then you've both got cars on top of the house costs"  
"Trust me. Between Moblit's job and mine, we're fine. And besides, we want you to feel like this is your home too"  
"But it's not"  
"You're practically family. Seriously. If you want to have people come over, that's fine"  
"People?"  
"Like Marco, or Levi"  
"Levi doesn't like me, and Marco... I didn't want to invite him over without your permission"  
"Marco is your friend. It must get pretty lonely here"  
"It's alright..."  
"Oh. Then maybe I shouldn't have invited him over?"  
"You... invited him over?"  
"Yep. He's coming to dinner, and so is Levi"  
He wasn't prepared to see either of them...  
"I thought we could make it a celebration"  
"What are we celebrating?"  
Coming over from the kitchen, Moblit placed a plate stacked with pancakes down in front of him, and another plate down in front of Hanji  
"Hanji, what have I told you about starting at the beginning?"  
"I was getting there"  
"Oh, by all means, continue then"  
"I'm trying to"  
Moblit kissed Hanji's cheek fondly, returning to the kitchen to grab his own plate, while Eren stared down at his pancakes. He really wasn't used to having someone make him a breakfast like this  
"You've got a scan booked at 11, if everything looks good, we can go ahead and take that cast off. I'm not making any promises, but the last scan looked really good"  
His last scan had been almost right after his injection induced heat, and he couldn't even remember it. Hanji had apologised over and over for it all, and for how the doctor had treated him. She'd also put him on multivitamins designed for omegas, and wanted him to work on gaining weight. He'd always tried to keep his figure in check, so the thought of gaining weight didn't sit well with him. He'd rather be too thin. He wanted to get back into dancing once the cast came off, and most alphas preferred a thin omega. Zeke had preferred a thin omega... the idea that his brother wouldn't recognise him if he gained weight scared him more than he'd admit  
"When I can start dancing again?"  
"Not just yet. We'll need to work on building strength back up in your ankle. I know it's not what you want to hear, but rushing into dancing again could lead to further complications. You could do permanent damage and never be able to dance again"  
"So..."  
"So, we'll take it slow with rehab and walking. I know you have a yoga mat, gently yoga stretches are alright"  
"I... don't know that much yoga. Most of the stuff I do is stretching"  
"As long as you're not running around in 6-inch platforms, things should be ok"  
Moblit took the seat across from him with a smile and a nod  
"You should eat before they get even colder"  
"Oh... right. I think I'm in shock"  
Hanji choked on her mouthful of pancake. Draining half her mug of coffee, she sucked down a deep breath while still coughing  
"Sorry! It's just sometimes you say the cutest things"  
He wasn't trying to be cute  
"It's fine. I was thinking you could help with tonight's menu?"  
"Zeke taught me how to cook... I don't know much... but I can generally follow a recipe"  
"You're doing better than Hanji. She tried to prepare this romantic dinner one time, but forgot she'd put the roast in the oven and ordered takeaway instead. We were woken in the middle of the night by the fire alarm"  
"She... no way"  
"It wasn't my fault. I came off my shift after spending three days at the hospital... I shouldn't have been adulting"  
"After that, its became a ritual to check the oven every night"  
"I can see why"  
"Eren, you're supposed to be on my side"  
"You shouldn't have been in the kitchen"  
Hanji stared at him, failing to hide her smile  
"Ok. Maybe not. But Moblit didn't marry me for my cooking prowess"  
"No, I had to marry you because no one else would"  
"That and I make stupidly happy"  
"Yeah. You really do"  
Struck with the unexpected prangs of jealousy, Eren didn't know how he was supposed to act. He didn't understand relationships. He only understood behaving and doing what he was told. Zeke would kiss and hug him, let him sit in his lap as he fed him, but he was his brother so none of that counted. Stabbing his fork into the tower of pancakes, he blocked Hanji and Moblit from his mind. 

The trip to hospital was kind of over before it really set in. His anxieties gripping his mind and not letting go. Hanji tried to soothe him, only for it to all go over his head. He couldn't concentrate. All he could think about was the scan. He was sure they were going to tell him he'd have wear the cast for the rest of his life and that he'd never dance again. So when he was told his scans were good, and that he getting itchy piece of shit cast off... He wanted to scream with happiness. After weeks of confined itchy smelly torture, his ankle was free! He wasn't free from crutches just yet, but fuck it felt good to have the cast off. Ruffling his hair, Hanji was all smiles as they walked back to her car. His ankle was a bit stiff, but it was barely noticed  
"How does it feel?"  
"Amazing. I'm not going to miss it"  
"Don't forget you need to take it slow"  
"I know... I can't wait to wash my foot"  
"Let's get you home then. We need to decide on tonight's menu"  
"Wasn't Moblit doing that?"  
"He's gone to get groceries, and we've got like a hundred cookbooks at home that we've never used. We can get as creative as we want"  
"I want to take a bath first... if that's ok?"  
"You don't need to ask. It's your home too, remember"  
Home. He couldn't really think of it like that. Home was wherever Zeke was... but Zeke had told him to stay with Hanji and Moblit... so maybe it really was "home", just for now?  
"Thank you"

 

*  
The bath was magical. He'd scrubbed and scratched at his ankle until he was sure all itchy and flaky skin was gone. He had new scarring from the operation, the scars barely making a dent in comparison to his old ones. Running his fingers around the two parallel scars of his past, his whole body shook. No matter what happened, they'd always be there. He'd never be able to escape the tight feeling of the invisible hold they held on his chest. If he ever found an alpha he truly wished go to be intimate with, they'd run once they knew the story behind them. Allowing himself a few moments to compose himself again, he wiped at his face. He wasn't in that place anymore. The people who'd do this to him were gone. He had a new "home" here... and despite how loud and invasive Hanji was, she'd never do what they did to him. He couldn't help being wary around Moblit. The male alpha had done nothing wrong, he'd even gone out of his way to try and make him feel welcome, but Eren couldn't control his fears and anxieties. He couldn't help the sick feeling that sometimes formed in the base of his gut. Not that Moblit ever said anything about it. About the distance or the timid looks. The man took it in his stride, probably because Hanji would have told him he was damaged. The love the pair of them shared... he didn't understand. Not when he'd witnessed such violence between alphas... not when he'd witnessed what his father did to his mother... but maybe... maybe this was what he needed? A place where they really didn't care he was an omega? 

Joining Moblit and Hanji in the kitchen, Eren couldn't help but keep Hanji between him and the male alpha. Thankfully the pair of them were pouring over a cookbook, so he had an excuse for not getting in too close. Strewn across the kitchen counter were bags of food and ingredients, none having made it to their rightful homes  
"So Eren, what do you think? Should we be all posh, and have starters, then a main, followed by dessert? Or just dinner and dessert?"  
"I don't know... maybe just dinner and dessert?"  
He wouldn't be eating that much, so he didn't really feel like he had much to contribute  
"Well, you and Moblit can start on the main. I'll take up being the official taste tester role"  
Moblit nodded, kissing Hanji's cheek  
"And laying out the table"  
"Ugh. I suppose I can do that"  
"I'm sure you can. Eren, do you want to take a look at the cookbook? Get some ideas for dessert?"  
"Um... I don't know what everyone likes"  
Hanji cackled   
"That's easy! You're feeding 4 alphas and two omegas! You can pretty much serve up anything you've ever wanted to try and it'll be fine"  
"Why don't you just let him look at the cookbook? Don't worry, it doesn't need to be anything fancy"  
"I can make apple pie... if we have green apples"  
He knew how to make apple pie off by heart. It was one of Zeke's favourites. So he'd stubbornly taught himself how to make it, while his brother suffered through each and every attempt until he got it just right  
"Oooh! That sounds good! Moblit, can we pleeeeease have pie?"  
"I don't know if we have green apples..."  
Hanji's face fell for a moment, before she jumped off the kitchen counter   
"Eren, how many apples do you need?"  
"Like 6"  
"Only 6?"  
"Um... How many pies do you want me to make?"  
"4. 4's good. Right?"  
Who the hell wanted to eat that much pie?! Two was plenty for Zeke, Reiner and Bertholdt! He regretted asking now...  
"What else do we need?"  
Hanji whipped her phone out her pocket, waiting patiently as he thought about it  
"A big thing of self-raising flour and um, two sticks of butter and eggs... and um... ice cream or cream. It depends what you want to serve it with"  
Moblit flicked back through the cookbook   
"Levi will want cream"  
"Right. I'll just get a little of everything and we'll go from there. Now, you two are going to play nicely while I'm gone, right?"  
"You have nothing to worry about. Eren's going to help me with the main, because I know how long you take when you go shopping"  
Moblit smiled as he looked to him. Eren's chest tightening slightly, he forced himself to smile and nod  
"Yeah. It'll be fine. Do you have a table cloth? I could set the table?"  
"I have no idea. We have sheets. We could use a sheet?"  
"I think we even have new ones..."  
If they wanted to use a sheet for a tablecloth, he wasn't going to argue. The only one who would probably complain was Levi... if he even came. He'd made such a mess of their shopping trip a month ago that he wouldn't blame the alpha for not coming. Even Hanji hadn't been talking about him... Blinking at the hand being placed on his cheek, he jumped when he realised he hadn't noticed Hanji moving to his side  
"Eren?"  
"Sorry. I was off in my own head"  
"I noticed. Do you want to talk about it?"  
"It's nothing. Just thinking about the pie"  
"I don't think pie would make you look so sad"  
"I don't know. It's really good pie"  
"Alright. I'll be back soon, ok. If you need me, or if anything happens, call me?"  
"It'll be fine"  
"Eren"  
"Ok. Just go already. I need to make the dough and it needs to sit!"  
"Alright. I'm leaving you in charge of the kitchen"  
"See you soon, and don't buy too much"  
Hanji kissed his cheek  
"You're so sweet, but Mumma Hanji's got this covered"  
Mumma? He couldn't remember what the love of a mother was like. He couldn't think of Hanji as a mother, even if her and Moblit were ridiculously loud during their baby making attempts. Leaving him with Moblit, Moblit turned his attention back to the cookbook, which Eren was grateful for.

Moblit had Eren cut up the vegetables for the main. He still had no idea what the man was making, but followed his instructions until Hanji finally returned home. Somehow she'd gotten her hands in a whole box of green apples, making him anxious over cooking four pies. Hanji would just tell him to start over again if he made a mistake. He didn't want to make a mistake. He wanted everything to be perfect. He was cooking for Marco... his friend. The first friend he'd made on his own, as far as he could remember. He was also cooking for Hanji and Moblit's friend, because he was definitely not going to call Levi his friend... because that was too close to admitting he liked him and he wasn't going there. Once he got a job, he'd be able to use the money he'd found in his room. He hadn't been sure Zeke had actually been there, not until he the small box he used to hide his money in back at the apartment. He hadn't taken any of it, and hadn't added to it. The $600 in there was his whole life savings, or club savings, taking over two years for him to save. He could pay Levi back, but then they'd all want to know where he got the money from, and he couldn't let them know Zeke had broken in. It was comforting though. To know that Zeke had really come back for him. To tell him to stay, before tucking him into bed and holding him he as vomited. He missed him so fucking much. 

Eren still didn't know what Moblit was making, but his pie duties were done, the table was made and everything looked basically ready. The only thing left for him to do was change. He'd managed to get flour all over his black jeans, and didn't want Marco... Levi... seeing him like this. Leaving the pies to Moblit, the omega headed upstairs. Where absolutely nothing looked good enough. He had to look perfect. It didn't matter that Moblit and Hanji weren't bothering with changing. They were married and had seen each other naked. He was a mess, who needed to look like he was making an effort. Black bootlegged jeans were a must. But nothing else seemed perfect. Levi had chosen a few dressier shirts for him, and he had to admit the alpha had a better eye for them than he did... then again, Levi was older than him. He'd probably never worked at a strip joint in his whole life, let alone walked inside one willingly. If someone told he spent all his time at home working out, Eren would totally believe it. Mentally exhausted. He ended up closing his eyes and grabbing a shirt at random, secretly happy it was the blue one he'd been leaning towards. Levi had spent ages staring at it before throwing it in the trolley... not that Eren mentioned it.. or was dressing up to impress Levi. Slipping the cotton dress shirt on, he had to admit he looked alright. Still in the process of admiring himself, he flinched as the doorbell rang, before cursing himself for not being ready. Now he'd be making people wait and making people wait was wrong.

Relief washed over Eren as he stepped off the bottom stair. Marco and Jean were there, still standing near the doorway  
"Eren! Wow, you look good"  
Catching Marco as he threw his arms around him, the two omegas nuzzled into each other, both having missed the other enormously  
"You look good too! I'm sorry I'm late coming down. I couldn't choose what to wear"  
Pulling back from the hug, Marco looked him up and down, before letting out a mass gasp  
"Your cast is off! Why didn't you tell me?! When did it come off, you have to tell me everything!"  
"It only came off this morning, or this afternoon, it was around lunch time"  
"And? How does it feel?"  
"Amazing!"  
Taking his hand, Marco tugged him into the living area as if he lived here. Falling half into Marco's lap, the pair of them giggled as Eren straightened himself up. Resting his head on Marco's shoulder, he held up his cast free leg  
"Look at it. Do you know when you're allowed to dance?"  
"Not for a while. I have to build strength back in it"  
"That sucks"  
"It's better than being in a cast. 10 out of 10, I will not be jumping off balconies drunk again"  
"I thought you tripped"  
Eren snorted, his cheeks red  
"I stuffed the landing. Anyway, what about you? What have you been up to? How's the new job?"  
"Good. You should apply there"  
Marco had found himself a job at a small coffee shop the previous week. Eren had congratulated him by text, but couldn't help but feel jealous  
"Maybe. I've missed you sooo much"  
"Me too. That blue is such a pretty colour on you..."  
"It'd look better on you, babe"  
Eren rolled his eyes at Jean. The alpha couldn't fit on the sofa, despite the open seat beside Eren. The man was sitting on the arm of the chair, his hand on Marco's shoulder possessively. Playing hostess, Hanji cleared her throat  
"Do you guys want anything to drink?"  
"I'll take a beer. Marco likes wine"  
Marco pouted   
"Jean, I can speak for myself. A wine would be lovely Hanji. What about you Eren? What are you having?"  
"I'm alright for now"  
"So a wine for Marco and a beer for Jean. Eren, are you sure you don't want anything to drink?"  
"No"  
Jean snorted  
"He's probably a lightweight"  
"Actually, I could drink you under the table"  
"Wanna bet?!"  
"How much?"  
Jean half scowled, not liking the fact he wasn't backing down   
"Guys, we're not having a drinking competition. Hanji, you better get Eren a beer"  
Eren smacked Marco's arm gently   
"Aren't you supposed to take Jean's side?"  
"I am. But you didn't used to drink at work, so I'm kind of curious"  
"You're not missing much. I just dance and sing awfully"  
"Sorry Marco, he's not allowed to dance just yet"  
"It's ok. He'll be better by his birthday, won't he?"  
Eren scrunched his face up, there was like 4 weeks or something until his birthday   
"Why should that matter?"  
"I thought we should go out for your birthday... we don't have to, if you don't want to"  
"Oh! That sounds fun! We should totally go out. You're still young, you should be making the most of it"  
"Hanji, I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to be encouraging me. Also, I don't like to do things for my birthday. The thoughts enough"  
Small traces of discomfort flittered through Marco's scent, despite his smile. He'd said the wrong thing... he'd upset his friend...  
"Leave him alone, babe. If he doesn't want to go out, we can make our own fun"  
"Idiot. Its Eren's birthday. Not yours"  
"I'm going to grab those drinks, but I think it would be good for you guys. I for one would love to see Eren dance again"  
Hanji poked her tongue out, darting back to the kitchen and leaving the three of them alone, to awkwardly fill the silence.

Levi arrived half an hour later. Eren detangling himself from Marco's hold so he could open the door. Having not seen the man in a month, he couldn't help but stare at Levi's fine cheekbones and soft looking lips... then the dark bags under his eyes. The man looked exhausted. The bottles of wine in the half box he carried looked ready to fall at any moment. Swallowing hard, he moved out the way  
"Hey. Um... Hanji and Moblit are in the kitchen"  
"Hey brat"  
That was it. All he got was a "Hey brat"?  
"Hanji, I brought wine and I brought Erwin!"  
"Levi! Hurry up and get in here, bring Erwin with you!"  
Holding the door like an idiot, he tried not to let his disappointment show. Erwin following Levi in  
"Eren, how have been? You're looking good. Or at least, better than the last time I saw you"  
Oh. So Erwin could spend a few moments being nice, but Levi couldn't...  
"Thanks. I got my cast off, so things are looking up"  
"And Hanji hasn't been bossing you around?"  
"No. She and Moblit have been really nice. Anyway, you should head on into the kitchen. Moblit made dinner, so it should be safe"  
"Believe it or not, I've tried Hanji's cooking before and survived"  
Erwin gave him a wink, before walking off towards the kitchen area. Closing and locking the door behind Erwin, Eren frowned at the man's back. Did Erwin just flirt with him? You don't just wink at people... or was he reading too much into this? Yeah. That had to be it. Erwin was just being nice. Fuck. He needed to set another place at the table now...

Raiding the cupboards for another set of plates, the teen tried not to listen in on the conversation the others were having. It reminded him all over again that he was on the outside, and just a visitor here. Pulling out semi-matching plates, he made sure he had all three, before carrying them over to the table and making space for Erwin   
"Oh! Eren, you didn't have to do that"  
Eren looked to Hanji in confusion  
"Erwin's not joining us?"  
"He is, but he's been here often enough that he can get his own plate"  
Waving his hand dismissively, he then carefully set the plates out  
"It's fine. Marco and Jean are off in their own world"  
"I didn't think you owned a table cloth? What happened to the real Hanji?"  
Fuck... Levi's voice sounded so cool. His omega immediately demanding he march over to the alpha and throw himself at him. A compulsion he was definitely choosing to ignore. Making sure everything was nice and neat, he fished out a knife and fork from the cutlery holder, placing them down beside the plates  
"Actually, now that I look around, the whole house seems cleaner. You're not dying, are you?"  
Hanji laughed   
"No, I'm not dying. It was all Eren. He's a huge help around here, aren't you sweetie?"  
Blushing, Eren walked over to the kitchen counter, trying to look casual as he leant against it  
"It's not really all that hard"  
"He's being modest. Did you know the curtains in the living room were white? I didn't until Moblit pointed out they'd been washed"  
"You've been making him do your house work?"  
"Oh... um, no. I mean, Hanji and Moblit have done so much for me, and I'm not great at sitting around. Besides, I lived with three alphas, so it's not that hard to keep up with Hanji and Moblit, especially when they're never home"  
"See! We talked to him this morning about it all. We wanted to hire him as a housekeeper, but he said no. What kind of teenager says no to free money?"  
"I can't really contribute any other way"  
Levi sighed, the man looking up at him over the rim of his beer  
"You shouldn't have done it for free. I know how much of a mess Hanji makes. Has she cooked yet? She got pancake batter all over the roof..."  
"Levi, that was years ago. We were still in college"  
"And it still haunts me to this day"  
"Ignore him, he's being over dramatic. How long do the pies need to be in the oven?"  
"What are you asking him for?"  
"Because Eren made them"  
"Are they edible?"  
Eren forced himself not to snap. Just because Levi had insulted him, didn't mean he had to cause a scene  
"45 minutes. Maybe a little longer, but not by much"  
"You can cook?"  
Looking from Levi to Erwin, the man was staring down at him  
"Yeah. I used to do almost all the cooking at home... I mean, at the apartment"  
"That's pretty impressive"  
The wrong alpha was praising him...  
"It's not that impressive. It was just easier"  
"As long as Hanji hasn't been making you work too hard"  
"No. It's fine. Besides, it's nice to come home to clean house, that doesn't smell like horny alphas and dirty socks"  
"You're going to make some alpha really happy someday"  
Eren's lips turned down. He didn't want an alpha. Just the thought of being intimate scared him. He was bound to be a disappointment to any alpha who tried to bed him  
"I didn't mean to upset you"  
"No. It's not your fault. I might check on Marco and Jean. How long until dinner's ready?"  
"It shouldn't be too much longer"  
Pulling on his fake smile, Eren headed back to Marco and Jean. He'd nearly fucked up and ruined everything. 

 

Out of the three mains on the table, Eren could honestly say he'd never tried any of them, nor did he have any idea of what they were supposed to be. Taking a small portion of the garden salad, he waited until everyone else started eating. To his left was Hanji and on his right was Erwin. He'd rather have sat next to Marco, but decided at the last moment that they deserved the nicer looking plates more than him. Across the table, Marco was attempting to make conversation with Moblit, while Jean and Levi looked ready to stab each other, despite having not talked. He couldn't remember a time when they'd had a "family" dinner, back at the apartment. Reiner and Bertholdt were usually working, while he usually had to eat in front of Zeke, or sit in his lap and be fed. He didn't know what the etiquette was. He'd already been holding his fork wrong...  
"Eren, is that all you're eating? You're a growing teen. You should really be eating more than salad"  
"I'm not... I mean..."  
"Erwin's right. Moblit's cookings is really good. Here, let me get you some more"  
He didn't want more, but Hanji took his plate. The woman piling it up, before setting it down in front of him. His stomach rolled at the thought of eating so much  
"That's much better"  
For who? He knew how much he wanted, and now everyone was looking at him. The stupid kid who couldn't even feed himself properly. Did they know how hard he was going to have to work out just to burn the salad off, let alone all this other stuff. He couldn't do it   
"What's wrong? You're not eating"  
"I'm trying to decide what to try first"  
"Make the most of it. We have no idea how desserts going to turn out"  
Fuck... Levi was right. What if he'd made a mistake...  
"You're just jealous we have Eren, and you don't"  
"Dream on Shitty Glasses"  
"Have you seen him? Or should be book you an eye test. He cooks, he cleans and he's adorable. If you keep picking on him, I'm going to find the biggest knife we own and stab you"  
Levi snorted, while Hanji's voice held no malice at all. For Eren, it was the thing that finally broke him. Pushing his chair back, he swallowed down the vomit that filled his mouth   
"Eren?!"  
"Sorry. I need to use the bathroom"  
"You don't have to say sorry. Take your time, ok?"  
Rushing from the room, his ankle protested against the abuse. It was a joke. Hanji had been joking. No one was getting hurt. No one was getting stabbed.

He barely made it into the bathroom as his stomach rolled and vomited into the wash basin  
"Stupid. Stupid. Stupid!"  
They'd been having a nice dinner, yet he couldn't even let himself enjoy it. Everyone had been happy, until he'd stuffed up. Emptying the last of his stomach contents down the drain, he then rinsed his mouth, before leaning heavily against the counter. Trying to bring his breathing back under control, his purrs filled the small space  
"Eren?"  
"Sorry. I'm ok"  
Why hadn't Hanji just stayed downstairs?  
"Are you sure? You left in a rush"  
He couldn't tell her the truth. He'd relied on her too much  
"It's nothing"  
"People don't usually vomit over nothing"  
"I... I'm sorry. It's just... a little much. I'm not used to family dinner's, so sometimes... I, um, get anxious"  
Walking over to him, Hanji pulled him into a hug  
"I didn't think this through..."  
"No! No. It's fine. I just forgot how to breathe. You'd think after nearly 20 years, I'd know how to do something as basic as breathing"  
"From a medical point of view, I would highly recommend breathing. Are you sure you're alright? I know Levi might sound like a dick, but he's only joking"  
"Who said anything about Levi?"  
"Me. Just then. Don't worry, this is his attempt at humour. First he tries picking on you, then he starts with the insults. He's only polite to people who don't know him, or people who know him too well"  
"It's fine. I kind of hoped he was joking"  
"I can..."  
"No. It's ok. We should head back down"  
"Only if you're up to it"  
"I am. I'm pretty proud of my apple pie skills, so I want to see the look on his face when he realises it"  
"That's the spirit"

Returning to the table, Eren took his seat. He could feel everyone staring at him, but couldn't bring himself to pick his fork back up. Coming to his rescue, Hanji started asking Erwin and Levi about work, leaving him to work at reining his feelings back in, until it was finally time for dessert. The smell of apples was heavenly, Moblit taking the pies from the oven as Erwin and Hanji cleared the table. Catching his eye, Marco pulled a silly face which he couldn't help but snort at. He'd never imagined the well mannered omega pulling faces at dinner. Nor did he imagine him ignoring Jean to do so. Jean didn't look impressed, but with how cute Marco looked, no one could possibly be mad with him. From behind him, Moblit interrupted Marco's funny faces  
"Who wants cream, and who wants ice cream?"  
"I'll have ice cream please. Jean, what do you want?"  
"Cream"  
"He means cream, please"  
Jean's cheeks reddened at Marco's gentle scolding. Levi gave a sigh   
"Cream"  
"Hanji and Erwin will both have ice cream. Eren?"  
"Plain please"  
"You don't want cream or ice cream?"  
"No thanks"  
"Are you sure, brat?"  
Glaring at Levi, the man didn't seem to care  
"I'm sure. I've cooked this so many times that I know it off by heart"  
"Levi, leave him alone. Eren can have his pie however he likes"  
"I'm just saying, it's probably safer with cream"  
"What is your problem? You've been acting like an arsehole since you walked in, and I don't appreciate it. I know how to cook. I cooked for Zeke all the time, and this pie was actually his favourite. Ok. So if you're going to be a dick, be a dick to someone else!"  
Levi sat still long enough that Eren was sure he was about to explode with anger. Instead he started laughing, Erwin joining in  
"I think you just got told!"  
Without cream or ice cream, Eren's slice was served first as Hanji giggled  
"I love how feisty he gets, don't you?"  
Levi nodded  
"I probably deserved it"  
"You did"  
Setting out the rest of the bowls, Eren stared at Levi until he raised his spoon. The arsehole actually going for the cream before the pie   
"Wow. This is really good. Can you teach me how to make it?"  
Tearing his gaze from Levi to Marco, Eren nodded  
"It's really easy"  
"It tastes amazing"  
Glowing under the praise of his friend, he smugly looked back to Levi  
"What, brat?"  
"It's good, isn't it?"  
"It's not horrible"  
"That's Levi talk for "he's too embarrassed to actually admit it's really good and he's having a food-gasm right now""  
"No. It's Levi talk for "You're lucky Eren can cook". It wouldn't have been much of a dinner party otherwise"  
"I only did dessert"  
"And you helped Moblit"  
"But Moblit made everything else. I just did what I was told to"  
"You're being too modest. I'm so calling dibs on the leftovers"  
Moblit shook his head  
"I don't think there's going to be any left. Eren, you should finish yours before she gets to it"  
He'd never really eaten much pie before. He made them for Zeke. It made him happy to bake them because it made Zeke happy. Taking his first bite, his eyes watered. It was so much better than he'd remembered. 

With the table quite as they devoured dessert, Eren nearly choked when Jean broke the silence   
"So who's Zeke? Is he your alpha?"  
Elbowing his boyfriend in the ribs, Marco softly whispered  
"I'm so sorry. He forgets everything the moment I tell him"  
"Would you stop apologising for me. I was just asking a question"  
"A question that didn't need to be asked"  
He didn't want the pair fighting because of him. Everyone else knew Zeke was his brother, and he was sure Marco would have told Jean too  
"Zeke is my older brother... by... 10 years I think?"  
"You don't know?"  
"We didn't really talk about that stuff"  
All Zeke had said was that they were brothers. For the first time, he realised he didn't actually know how much older Zeke was than him. Zeke had never really talked about his mother either. And the few times he did, he always realised the slip and changed the topic  
"So Zeke is the one who left you at the hospital?"  
You could have heard a cricket chirp for how quiet it went  
"Some stuff happened"  
"That doesn't justify leaving your brother in hospital"  
"Whatever happened, its in the past and we are delighted to have Eren here"  
Pushing his chair back for the second time that evening, he couldn't even pretend to hide his pain. Jean could be an arse, but he hadn't expected him to state it so bluntly  
"I need to get some air"

Taking his beer with him, Eren let himself out onto the front veranda, where he sat on the steps. He was sure that if he went back inside, he'd probably end up punching Jean in the face. Jean had no idea what was going on, and had no right to talk about his brother. Taking a long swig from his beer, he didn't bother turning around as the doorstep creaked   
"I can punch him, if you want?"  
Fucking Levi. He'd come out here to calm down, not to be treated like a kid  
"It's fine. It's true that my brother left"  
Sitting down next to him, Levi had both hands around the bottle with his elbows resting lightly on his legs   
"If it was fine, you wouldn't be out here"  
"I just needed some air"  
"Look brat. Your brother left, but your life goes on. You can't let every comment get to you, especially not comments from horsefaced bastards"  
"That's rich. Coming from you who's done nothing but insult me"  
"I was joking"  
"I'm trying fucking hard enough to figure out what to do each day. I don't need to be insulted over the few things I can do"  
Reaching out his left hand, Levi ruffled his hair  
"It better when you just spit out what you have to say"  
"Because it's that's easy"  
"I didn't say it was"  
Pushing Levi's hand away, Eren sighed   
"You know. You're an arsehole"  
"I've been told"  
"It's true. By Jean is even more of an arsehole"  
"I'm not going to argue with that one. I'm pretty sure Hanji's planning on somehow spiking his food"  
"It's fine. It's how the whole world is going to see it. Idiot omega brother, dumped by big brother for being a fuck up"  
"You're not a fuck up"  
"That's because you're not in my head"  
"We're all our own worse enemies"  
"I think that beer's gone straight to your head. Either that, or you've gotten wise in your old age"  
"Shitty brat"  
"You didn't deny it"  
"I'm too fucking tired to deny it"  
"Your job must be really hard"  
"It has it days. Why? Thinking of becoming a paramedic?"  
"No. I'm not very good at that kind of thing... and then there's the whole reading issue"  
"You could learn?"  
"Who's going to waste their time teaching me? Seriously. Marco wants me to get a job at the coffee shop he works at"  
"And?"  
"And what? I can't. I don't even have a bank account or ID, let alone references"  
"You don't have a bank account?"  
"Go on. You might as well laugh"  
"I'm not going to laugh, but if you talk to Hanji, she'll help you sort all that shit out"  
"No, it doesn't matter"  
"It does too. You need ID, and you definitely need a bank account"  
Eren bit his lip  
"What? Spit it out"  
Levi would probably laugh if he said that Zeke said it wasn't safe  
"Hanji and Moblit are always so busy"  
"I can take you"  
Eren gaped. He didn't expect that   
"That's if you don't mind an old man driving"  
"I don't have any papers or anything. I don't even have a birth certificate"  
"That'll make things hard. I'll ask Hanji about it"  
"No. She and Moblit are busy. It's fine"  
"I'm sure she'd jump at the chance"  
"I said it's fine"  
"You don't need to get shitty"  
"I'm not getting shitty. I don't need ID. I don't need anything"  
"You need ID to get a job"  
"I. What. Oh..."  
"I'll look into it. It'll have to wait though. I don't know when my next day off is"  
"Wait. You don't have tomorrow off?"  
"No. Why would I?"  
"Because you're drinking, and you're exhausted"  
"Nothing a few hours sleep won't cure"  
"You should be sleeping"  
"Are you sending me to bed?"  
Eren's cheeks grew warmer  
"I'm pretty sure you know how to send yourself to bed"  
"Erwin and I will probably be crashing here tonight. That's not going to freak you out, is it?"  
"Not unless you decide to break into my room"  
"That's the last thing on my mind"  
"You should also... probably sleep downstairs"  
"Oh? Is there a reason?"  
"Umm. Hanji and Moblit are really loud"  
"Fucking gross"  
"I sleep with music on, but... yeah"  
"Well they have been trying for a baby for a while now"  
"I can't say I understand"  
"Understand what? How babies are mad? Well, when two people like each other..."  
"Shut up you jerk. I just meant like relationships in general"  
"I'm with you there"  
Silence fell between them. Levi's shoulder was so close to his, he was sure he could feel the warmth coming from the alpha, along with that intoxicating smell. Draining his beer so he didn't have to talk, he pushed himself up  
"Where are you going?"  
"Back inside. It's rude to leave your guests"  
Levi sighed  
"I suppose it's about time. You don't smell as upset anymore"  
"I wasn't upset. I was angry"  
"Whatever. It doesn't suit you"  
"And how do you know what suits me?"  
"I picked that shirt did I?"  
"You mean... you actually noticed?"  
"That you were wearing a shirt I chose? Yes"  
"Then why didn't you say anything?"  
"Why should I? You can wear whatever you want"  
No. Levi was supposed to notice and compliment him. Not just dismiss it...  
"I don't know"  
"It suits you. The blue brings out the blue tones in your eyes"  
Most people only ever noticed the deep green. Not the small hints of blue near his pupils  
"Uh... um... thanks?"  
"You don't need to sound so confused"  
"You're confusing me"  
Climbing to his feet, Levi moved towards the front door  
"You're easy to confuse. Are you coming back in, or just standing there?"  
"Yeah. I'm coming"

 

*  
It was still rather early when Jean announced he was taking Marco home. Levi had noticed the way Jean had been growing steadily more and more jealous of the way the two omegas had been curled into each other on the sofa, both whispering back and forth about something or other. Once the pair had left, Erwin had moved to sit beside Eren, leaving Levi the end of the sofa. He just wanted to go to sleep. Work had been a bitch, and his shift started at 6. The alpha wanted nothing more than a hot shower, and to be home in his own bed. Letting the conversation wash over him, he closed his eyes, thinks back to his earlier attitude towards Eren. He hadn't set out to intentionally set the teen off, instead he'd been thrown off guard by the situation. Moblit tried his hardest to keep the house clean, but with his job and Hanji's, their house was sadly lacking. In the last month, Eren had managed to turn it around. It no longer carried the smell of stagnant water, instead he was sure he smelt citrus. So not only had the teen answered the door looking perfect, he could cook and clean. He seemed much happier and in a much better place. He'd tried to tease Eren in an attempt to cover the feeling welling in the pit of his stomach. He wanted to kiss Eren. He, who was known as the "Ice Queen", actually... wanted Eren. Or maybe he just wanted to get laid? He'd been sure he'd go into another rut after Eren started going into heat, but instead had been left feeling pent up. He'd taken the task to hand, but the agitation still remained, and his over active dreams were more than happy to show him just how warm and wet the teens mouth was. How was supposed to face Eren after that? "Hey, brat. I had a dream about fucking your mouth" didn't seem like an appropriate conversation starter. Opening his eyes at soft snores, Hanji raised a finger to her lips. Erwin moving to gently lift Eren from his shoulder  
"I'll take him up to his room"  
"Just let him sleep there for now. The brat's dead to the world"  
Hanji smiled fondly at the omega  
"He had a long day. Did he seem alright when you two talked?"  
Levi leant forward and placed his beer down on the coffee table  
"He was just pissed off with Jean. How's he settling in?"  
"He's been alright. He still has nightmares, but we haven't pushed him to talk and he's a little nervous around Moblit. I think he has a past with male alphas, other than his brother"  
"A past? I can't imagine being a stripper would have been too safe"  
Hanji shrugged   
"I don't know. Anyway... what did you two talk about, hmmmm?"  
"Really? You're going there again?"  
"You two were out there, with no supervision. Did you get a kiss?"  
"He was just angry at Jean, and called me an arsehole"  
"Awww. He knows you so well"  
"Ha ha. Shut the fuck up Shitty Glasses. And what's the idea of not sorting out some ID for him. He doesn't even have a bank account"  
Hanji groaned  
"I forgot about that. No wonder he wasn't keen when Marco said we should go out for his birthday. Moblit, we need to remember to do something about that"  
Moblit nodded quickly, the man well and truly whipped by his wife  
"Yeah. We'll list here as his official address. Didn't Rico have that friend in the police? Maybe she can help speed things along?"  
"He'll need his ID to open a bank account"  
Whining softly in his sleep, Eren slipped back against Erwin. Erwin wrapping his arm around him, in a way that pissed Levi's alpha right off   
"He is terribly cute. Do you think he liked dinner?"  
Who the fuck was Erwin to call Eren cute?   
"He said he didn't know what he was supposed to do or feel. He was a bit overwhelmed by it all"  
Hanji looked to Moblit, her eyes filled with mischief   
"Levi likes him"  
"I don't like him. He's a good kid, and that's it"  
"But don't you see, it's mutual. He likes you. He was pretty upset you insulted his cooking"  
"Hanji, don't start. We've got work at 6, and no patience for your shit right now"  
"Spoil sport. I suppose you're right through. Moblit starts at 5, and I start at 8. You two know where the guest bathroom is, there should be towels in there. Erwin, go ahead and take Eren up to bed. We'll get the blankets for the sofas"  
He normally liked to shower before falling asleep, and then again when he woke, but with this being Hanji's house, he was safer with just waiting until the morning. Lifting Eren into his hold, the teen whined again. He looked pained rather than restful. Not wanting any more ammunition for Hanji to use against him, Levi wisely kept his mouth shut. Letting Erwin carry Eren off and up to his room.

Waking up before his alarm, Levi rubbed at his face. Hanji and Moblit really needed to invest in new sofas, while Erwin needed a pillow to the face to stop his shut his shitty snoring up. The throbbing from his bladder demanded immediate attention, but the sounds from the kitchen sounded much more interesting. When the kitchen tap turned on, the choice was made for him. Biting down the groans from the aches and pains of getting old, he kept his footsteps light in case it was Eren in the kitchen. He didn't want to freak the brat.

With his bladder relieved, and with no chance of falling back to sleep. Levi crept back downstairs, his superb ninja skills wasted as the sound of smashing glass rang out, followed by a panicked "Fuck". It was definitely the brat. Not needing to hide his presence, Levi walked into the kitchen, the space illuminated by the open fridge as a crying Eren tried to clean up the broken mug on the floor  
"Eren?"  
"I'm sorry... it was an accident"  
"I'm sure it was. Get out the way, you can't see shit"  
"No... I... I've got it"  
Reaching over to grab the paper towel off the kitchen counter, Eren whimpered as he fell on his arse, trying to escape backwards  
"Don't touch me!"  
"Calm down brat. I'm getting the paper towel"  
Forced to ignore the distressed omega, Levi cleaned the mug up, the ceramic had mostly kept together, unlike a normal glass that would have shattered all over the place. It was way to fucking early for all of this shit  
"Brat, get up and go the other way around the counter. You haven't got shoes on"  
Sniffling, Eren had curled into a ball, his fingers interlaced with his hands against the back of his head. The brat probably hadn't even heard him. Piling the glass on the bench as a warning to Moblit, Levi stood, walking over to Eren and squatting down again  
"Hey brat, it's taken care of"  
"S-sorry... it was an accident"  
So the kid was listening, he just didn't want to move  
"Accidents happen. Let's get you back to bed"  
"I'm sorry"  
"Yeah. Yeah. It's fine"  
Placing his hand on the teen's arm, Eren whimpered  
"Brat, I'm not going to fucking do anything. It's too early for this shit, and you should be sleeping"  
"Can't sleep"  
Levi sighed, tugging on Eren's arm until he stood with him, the fridge door already closing on its own  
"It doesn't matter if you can't sleep. You probably feel safer in your own room"

Guiding Eren around the kitchen island and up to his room, he sat the kid down on his bed  
"Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up"  
"It's fine. I had to use the bathroom anyway"  
"I fucking liked that mug too"  
Levi snorted lightly  
"You're an idiot. You should be sleeping"  
"I can't"  
"Can't or won't?"  
"Can't. I have stupid dreams... it doesn't matter. You should head hack downstairs"  
"It's fine. I don't think I could go back to sleep either"  
"Erwin's snoring?"  
"That and Hanji's shitty arse, lumpy sofas"  
"But won't you be in trouble if you don't sleep before work?"  
"It's fine"  
"You looked exhausted. I... don't mind if you want to use the bed..."  
"I'm not kicking you out of your own bed. Where would you sleep?"  
"I'm not tired anymore"  
The way Eren was mumbling told him that the kid was definitely still tired  
"You're a terrible liar"  
"Fine. I don't want to sleep. I don't want to have another nightmare"  
"About your brother?"  
"No... they're stupid. I don't want to talk about it"  
"Move over"  
"What? Why?"  
"Because you're less likely to have a nightmare if you're not alone"  
He should not be doing this... it was just... the kid smelt so fucking sad. His whole room stank of pain and distress. His alpha hated it. Hated that Eren would be suffering for years trying to get over the abuse he'd been through   
"You don't have to stay... I mean... it's pretty pathetic for a grown man to be having nightmares"  
"Its more common than you'd think. Now move over"  
"I'm serious. I don't..."  
"Shut up and move over"  
Eren snorted  
"I didn't think it would be this easy to get you into bed"  
"I'll take your snoring over Erwin's"  
Eren crawled to the far side of the bed, making space for Levi to climb in. Pulling the covers up, Eren rolled so his back was towards him, his body tense  
"Don't over think this"  
"I'm not"  
"Sure. I can practically hear you over thinking"  
"Fine... I don't know why you're being nice to me"  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
"Nothing. Never mind"  
"Hurry up and go to sleep then"

Levi had planned to leave once Eren was asleep. He doubted the kid would be having another nightmare so late at night. He didn't need Hanji turning this into something big, but as Eren's breathing evened out and the teen slowly fell asleep beside him, he couldn't stop himself from falling asleep.


	10. Chapter 10

Eren's heart had nearly stopped when he'd woken to find himself spooned in Levi's arms. The alpha's warm breath tickled the back of his neck, while his arm around Eren's waist was holding him flush. He could barely remember getting up to get a drink of water, and barely remember Levi helping him back to his room. He'd never slept like this with anyone other than Zeke or Marco... neither of which had felt as nice as this did. He couldn't do this. Whatever this was. He didn't deserve it. He couldn't let Levi get caught like this. Wriggling from Levi's hold, the alpha mumbled something unintelligible in his sleep  
"Levi. Levi you need to wake up"  
Growling, the alpha reached out grabbed his arm. His fingers digging into the soft flesh  
"Levi!"  
Yawning, Levi swore softly as he jerked his arm back  
"Shit.."  
"You need to get up. Didn't you say you had work at 6?"  
"Fuck. What's the time?"  
Feeling for his phone, Eren was momentarily blinded by the screens light   
"4:30. Moblit's going to be awake..."  
"Fuck. I better get up. Shit. I didn't mean to fall back to sleep. Fuck"  
Levi sounded angry... angry enough for Eren's already panicking omega to go into melt down. Unwarranted tears began to form from the unwanted rush of tumbling emotions he felt   
"Levi..."  
"No. I've got to go"  
Practically flying out his bed, Levi strode across the room and slipped out before Eren knew what to say. He had to admit he, himself, was hurt, but he was also angry at himself. Levi didn't like him like that. The man had only slept beside him because Erwin was snoring so loud. Or out of pity. That was much more likely. Or he'd passed out from exhaustion. The man had looked so tired the previous night, and he had such a hard job. Eren could never do what any of the people around him did. He could never rush into emergency and save a life. The people around him where all... amazing. While he was just an ex-dancer, who knew how move and shake his arse for money from sleazy and drunk alphas. Drawing his knees to his chest, he started to weep for his own idiocy. He didn't want these feelings for Levi. He didn't want to complicate the man's life with his brokenness. He didn't want the feelings of need when it came to the uninterested alpha. He just wanted things to go back to how they used to be. Before he'd stolen that bottle of alcohol and jumped down off the balcony. When it was him, and Zeke and Reiner and Bertholdt. When he knew each day would roll into the next without anything overly exciting happening... so why was he so jealous of everyone? Marco had confided in him that he and Jean were more actively trying for a child. Hanji and Moblit were trying for a child. And now his omega was day dreaming him up and married to Levi with children. He didn't want children. He didn't not want them either. But the thought of being intimate reminded him how broken he was. He didn't even touch himself during his heats. It was wrong and dirty... the thoughts so ingrained that he just couldn't do it.

He was still crying softly when Hanji came in. By now it would have been just the two of them in the house. His eyes hurt from crying, while a stress headache was throbbing away in the background. After opening his door to find him whining and whimpering pathetically, the woman had come to his side, pulling him up against her and stroking his hair  
"Eren, did Levi do something? I can smell traces of his scent?"  
Shaking his head, he clung to her  
"No"  
His voice was low and husky from his sobs  
"Then what is it sweetie?"  
"E-everything"  
"Oh honey. It's ok. You're ok"  
"I'm... not. I'm not a good omega... why does everyone leave? I thought if I was good they'd stay... but they never stay"  
"Shhh. They're just arseholes. There's nothing wrong with you. If there was, don't you think we would have kicked you out"  
"N-no... you're crazy"  
Hanji barked out a laugh   
"Maybe. But sweetie, you're beautiful and you're kind, and so helpful"  
"I don't feel like that"  
"We are always hardest on ourselves"  
Eren sniffled, snot wouldn't stop pouring out  
"I'm sorry I broke the mug"  
"You don't need to be sorry. Accidents happen, and I know it was your mug. I know it's the one you got for yourself"  
"I still broke it"  
"And we'll get you a new one. It's not worth all these tears"  
It was to him. He didn't like the waste of money. It wasn't his money to be wasting  
"You're going to make yourself sick sweetie"  
"I feel useless"  
"You are not useless. Moblit and I are going to organise your ID, and your bank account and we're going to be here for you as we get you back up on your feet. We've got a friend who's friends with an officer, so we should be able to get some help speeding all that along"  
They... no. If they... if they ran his name through the system... they'd find out... they'd... his breathing hitched with panic. They couldn't find out. They couldn't find out who he was  
"Eren. Eren, hey. You need to calm down"  
"No... no, you can't do that"  
"Honey?"  
"You can't... you can't do that... you can't"  
He couldn't fucking breathe  
"Hey, hey. Talk to me"  
"You can't! You have no right! No... no... I'm so stupid... stupid..."  
"Eren, that's enough. You're not stupid. You don't have any forms of ID or a birth certificate..."  
"Because it's not safe! If they come after you... no... I need to pack. I need to go"  
Trying to fight out of Hanji's hold, he didn't get far at all  
"Eren, the past is in the past. You're safe"  
"No I'm not! And once you know, you won't be safe either!... you won't safe and I don't want you to be hurt"  
"Ok, we won't talk to the police. Ok... just calm down for me... deep breaths"  
So they weren't going to talk to the police? They weren't going to find out? He couldn't let them get hurt... Zeke had told him dangerous it was. He'd drummed it into him that they were only safe because no one knew they were here... but the fight had changed that... and because of him, Zeke was gone. Hanji stayed with him until his breathing evened out. Eren exhausted all over again as if he hadn't slept at all  
"I have to go to work soon. There are still plenty of leftovers in the fridge, but if we need anything, just send me a text message"  
"Ok... I'm sorry"  
"It's alright sweetheart. You get some rest and try not to overthink anything"  
"Thanks, Hanji"

Eren fell back to sleep, his face buried into the pillow Levi had used. After getting a few more hours sleep, he woke feeling disgusted with himself. Stripping his bed of all traces of Levi's scent, he bundled the lot up with angry tears in his eyes. Just because he was an omega, didn't mean he had to keep crying like this, nor did it mean he needed an alpha.

 

*  
Levi had fucked up. He'd fucked up and fallen asleep beside Eren. The kid's scent still clinging to him, even after he'd showered and changed. It was like the scent had soaked into him, clinging to him and refusing to release him. He shouldn't have stayed. He hadn't meant to stay. He'd meant to calm Eren down and leave the kid be. And then... he'd fucking run like a coward.

With Erwin driving, Levi was staring at the passing world. The alpha's brow drawn in annoyance and with self loathing. Eren was an abuse victim, and he knew that. Even without the mug incident that morning, there were the two times he'd left the table during dinner the following evening. The kid had been as white as the sheet used for a table cloth  
"Alright. I've given you all morning and you're still glaring at the world. Do you want to talk about it?"  
"Nothing to talk about"  
"Did something happen with Eren?"  
"Why does everyone always have to keep bringing him up?"  
"Because I can't think of anything else that would have set you off. Not like he does"  
"Not your shitty snoring or Hanji's fucking uncomfortable sofas?"  
"I..."  
"Don't you dare say you don't fucking snore. I was ready to fucking smother you"  
"Thank you for not killing me in my sleep"  
"You're welcome, now fuck off"  
Erwin snorted   
"It's alright you know, to like Eren"  
"I don't like him"  
"Riiight"  
"I fucking hate it when you try to sound like Hanji"  
"He's young. He can cook and clean, and gets your sense of humour"  
"I don't fucking like the kid"  
"Levi..."  
"Just shut up already. The only fucking thing wrong is being stuck with you"  
"If you're not going to make a move, do you mind if I do"  
Levi's alpha snarled. The alpha's hands curling into fists  
"Do whatever you want, but don't forget he's an abuse victim. He had a fucking panic attack over breaking a mug this morning"  
A prang of guilt made his gut tighten. He shouldn't be running the kid down, or spilling his secrets   
"I knew something happened..."  
Erwin's sentence was cut off as the man's phone started ringing   
"Do you mind getting that?"  
Grabbing Erwin's phone off the dash, he glared at Hanji's name. He'd had enough of her shit, and he hadn't even seen her before they'd left for work  
"It's Hanji"  
"Answer it and put it on speaker"

Holding the phone between them, the first thing he heard was Hanji sigh   
"Hanji, what's up?"  
"Hey Erwin. Is Levi there? I tried to call him first, but he didn't answer"  
"He sure is. What's up?"  
"Levi, did something happen with Eren this morning?"  
"No. Why?"  
"His room smelt like you, and when I check in on him, he was quite upset"  
Erwin raised an eyebrow   
"Nothing fucking happened"  
"Levi"  
"Nothing happened. He went to get himself a drink and dropped his mug. I cleaned it up and helped him back to bed because he was bawling like a baby"  
"And that's it?"  
"What do you want me to say?"  
"I'm not doubting you, it's just... he was really upset. I was hoping you'd talked"  
"Not really"  
Hanji swore, before sighing again  
"Thanks anyway"  
Erwin cleared his throat  
"Is he ok now?"  
"Yeah. I tried talking to him about getting his ID, and he had a breakdown over how it isn't safe. I don't know anything about his past, but he definitely didn't want the police involved. I honestly don't know what to do. He wants to be useful, but he needs ID and a bank account and a tax file number... and I'm not allowed to look into his past"  
The woman gave another sigh  
"Hanji, you're doing great with him"  
"I don't know. He said it wasn't safe for us to know about his past. How can I ignore that?"  
"I doubt there's anything for you to actually worry about. It was probably Zeke's way of keeping him under control. Isolate him, then make it seem like he has to stay close to him because he's in danger. If it was something major, it'd be all over the internet"  
"Yeah, Hanji. I think Levi's probably right"  
"I want to respect his privacy though"  
"There's respecting his privacy, and then there's enabling the trauma"  
"You two are no help at all. Unless you want to do me a small favour"  
Levi rolled his eyes  
"Not really"  
"Ignore him. What is it?"  
"Drop by and check on Eren? I'm at work until 6, and he's scared of Moblit"  
"We're not your damn babysitters. So no. Leave the brat to himself, he'll be fine until you get home"  
Erwin glared at him  
"I suppose you're right. I still don't know what I should do"  
"I'm sure you'll figure it out. Call me anytime you need"  
"Thanks Erwin. Levi, thanks for talking to Eren. We should have dinner again sometime soon"  
"Sounds good"  
Levi ended the call, throwing Erwin's phone back up on the dash  
"So, you were in Eren's room"  
"Say one more thing, and I will kill you"  
"I didn't say anything Hanji didn't. But I hardly expected you to be in his room long enough for your scent to remain"  
"The kid was upset"  
It wasn't even lunch time and he was ready for the day to be over. Why was he the only one who saw that Eren wasn't ready for a relationship? He was surrounded by trained medical professionals, yet none of them seemed to get it.

 

*  
Waking up to pounding on the door, Levi tried to hide. Only Hanji would be stupid enough to be banging on his door like this, even though she has a key. When the knocking didn't stop, Levi finally climbed out bed. His clothes rumpled from sweat thanks to a not so lovely dream. When he told Eren that it was normal to have nightmares, he was speaking from personal experience. They didn't happen every single night, but every time they did, they always threw of kilter in the morning. Stumbling his way through his apartment, he opened the door to smiling Hanji, and a somewhat embarrassed Eren   
"Levi, good, you're awake"  
"I'm pretty sure everyone in the buildings awake, thanks to your shitty banging. What do you want?"  
"I need you to look after Eren for today"  
"Not happening"  
"Please. There's been a multi-car pileup during school traffic, and I've been called in"  
Shit. For something that big, he would have usually been called in too...  
"Look, he's got an appointment at two and there's no way I'm going to be able to get him there in time"  
"Can't he take a taxi?"  
Eren blushed, staring at his feet as if they were the most interesting things in the world  
"It's with a therapist. I've faxed the referral through, but there's the intake forms to deal with"  
And Eren would probably struggle with them... If the kid was finally accepting he needed therapy, he really shouldn't stand in the way... it was obvious he needed help... and it wasn't like Hanji could shirk work... but fuck... he was trying to keep his distance from the kid. He was scrambling to throw up a wall between them, because he knew his feelings were less than pure. Feelings Eren definitely wasn't ready for  
"Fine. I'll take the brat"  
Leaning in, Hanji kissed him on the cheek  
"Thank you! I owe you! Eren, I want you to text me once it's over"  
"I told you I could take myself"  
"You did, but this is your first appointment. You shouldn't be alone for something like that"  
"I've gone to appointments on my own before. I'm not a kid"  
"No, you're not. Ok, I have to go. You two play nicely"

Eren was still standing in the door way as Hanji dashed off. With his arms around his waist, the kid looked even more embarrassed than before  
"Get in here before the neighbours start talking"  
"Oh... right"  
Slipping past him and into his apartment, Eren stood with his back to the wall, as if trying to hide his hulking presence. Closing the door, Levi slid the bolt across  
"You don't need to look so fucking nervous. I'm the only one here"  
"I... um. I'm sorry for inconveniencing you. I told her I could catch a taxi, but she wouldn't listen"  
"No, she's like that. What times your appointment"  
"11:30"  
"And you know the name of the clinic?"  
"It's the one near the hospital... Shinganshima Mental Health... or something like that"  
"Yeah. I know the one. Take a seat and try not to touch anything"  
Skittishly Eren inched to the sofa, sitting on the very edge when he'd reached his destination. With a long yowl, Titan came striding out his bedroom. The fat cat walking straight up to Eren, and jumping into his lap  
"You have a cat?!"  
"Why? Don't you like cats?"  
"Oh, no. I just thought... never mind. What's his name?"  
"Titan, because he's fucking massive, and a massive arsehole"  
Scratching Titan's chin, the feline looked rather smug as he ignored him  
"I need to take a shower. Fucking Hanji. She knows I've got work this afternoon"  
"I'm sorry"  
"I'm not blaming you"  
He was. The teen he'd been ignoring and trying not to think about was sitting on his sofa, patting his fucking cat and looking absolutely adorable as he did so. It was unusual for Titan to be this affectionate with anyone other than him, thanks to Hanji traumatising the fuck out of him. Leaving the pair, he headed into his bathroom. 

Having showered, Levi felt like he could breathe again. Despite the lack of sleep, his reflection didn't show it, so there'd be no awkward questions from Eren. He'd never thought the kid would be in his apartment, nor that Hanji would just dump him off here. He could have easily driven out and picked the kid up, but he also understood that therapy would be a huge step for Eren, and he was probably going to hear a lot of things he didn't want to. To them Zeke was Eren's abuser, but to Eren, Zeke was his saviour. No doubt his therapist was going to burst that bubble for the kid, and when that happened, there were any number of reactions Eren could have. Learning and coming to terms with the fact he'd been groomed to Zeke's liking was something the teen couldn't manage on his own... even though Levi was sure he'd try to. Shaking his head, he headed into his room to dress. He needed to stop thinking about it. Eren was Hanji's problem, not his.

Midway dressing, knocking rang out for the second time that morning. From the lack of pounding, it couldn't have been Hanji. Rushing to pull down his long sleeved shirt, he jogged from him room and through the living room where Eren had moved to curling into a ball, Titan laying beside him. Normally he'd scold anyone who dared to put their feet on his sofa, but once again he found himself making allowance for Eren. The kid was trampling all over his life and his morals, while he was just letting him. Maybe he was getting milder in his old age? Reaching the door, he slid the chain off before opening it. Just fucking great. Fucking Petra was standing there with two coffees in her hands  
"Petra, something the matter?"  
Smiling sweetly, the woman held a disposable cup out towards him  
"No, I just got off work and thought we could catch up"  
Unlike Eren, Petra happily invited herself in, only to stop when she noticed Eren sitting on the sofa  
"Oh, I didn't think you'd have company"  
It was hard to miss the annoyance in her voice   
"Hanji just dropped him off. Eren, this is Petra"  
Looking up from his knees, Eren unfolded himself as he forced that smile Levi hated so much to his lips   
"Pleased to meet you"  
"And you. You're the omega living with Hanji and Moblit, aren't you?"  
Tempted to flee through the open door, Levi sighed as he forced himself to close his only escape. Petra was already in fine form, while Eren had no idea what he'd done wrong   
"For now"  
"Still no word from your brother?"  
Pain flashed across Eren's face, threatening to break his mask, yet in the next instant he'd recovered  
"Not yet. But it's ok. Everyone has been really nice to me, and Levi's helped me out"  
Oh snap. Petra wasn't expecting that. And since when did he say "oh snap?". He could only blame Hanji for it. Walking over to the recliner, he dropped down, leaving Petra to take a seat on the other side of Titan, who flicked his tail in annoyance  
"Yes, Levi is a good man"  
Reaching down, Eren lifted Titan into his lap  
"I never pictured him having a cat"  
"Maybe that's because you don't know him?"  
"Maybe. Titan is adorable though"  
Stroking the feline, Titan began to purr. Petra had never liked the cat, always complaining about the fur left behind, while Eren didn't seem to mind at all  
"So Petra, you said you wanted to catch up?"  
"Oh, yes. Sorry, do you mind not stirring up so much fur?"  
Eren immediately stopped patting Titan  
"I didn't mean to..."  
"You're getting fur everywhere"  
"I'm sorry"  
Titan wasn't pleased about the lack of pats, head butting Eren's chin in an attempt to get more. Lifting the cat to the floor, he threw them all a filthy look before stalking away. Without Titan there, Eren drew his feet back up  
"And do you mind not putting your feet all over Levi's furniture? He works hard to afford nice things"  
"Petra, that's enough. I need to run the vacuum through anyway"  
"It's disrespectful"  
"He's my guest, in my apartment and I'm saying it's fine. What did you want to talk about?"  
"Oh, I was wondering if you had a date to the charity ball yet?"  
"You know I'm not going to that"  
"It's so much fun, and I happen to have an extra ticket"  
An extra ticket she'd probably bought to guilt him into it  
"I've already rostered myself on for that night. I'm sure Olou would love to go with you"  
"Or you could go by yourself"  
Petra glared at Eren, Eren shrugging it off  
"Dancing can be just as fun when you're by yourself and Levi's busy"  
"Levi, please just think about it. It really would be so nice to spend more time with you"  
"I'm sorry, but I'm working"  
"Then just think about it. I need to dash, but here's your ticket"  
Producing a silver ticket from her hand bag, she placed it down on the coffee table, before rising to her feet. Leaning in, she pressed a kiss to his cheek  
"I'll be waiting to hear from you"  
Behind her, Eren mumbled something along the lines of "don't hold your breath", and he couldn't help but snort at it. Petra mustn't have heard as hurt appeared on her face   
"I'll think about it"  
"Good. Thank you! Uh. Nice to meet you, Eren"  
Eren didn't reply, but he did watch as Petra let herself out. Thank fuck that was over. He couldn't deal with her when she got like this, and having Eren heard hadn't helped... even if he'd voiced what Levi had been thinking. Desperate to move on from the moment, he cleared his throat   
"Brat, have you had breakfast?"  
"Yeah. Should I be sorry for being rude to your guest?"  
"No. I've honestly turned her down more times than I can count, but she keeps coming back. I don't think she expected you to be here"  
"Neither do I. I get the feeling she doesn't like me"  
"Don't let it get to you. Do you want this coffee? She's known me for years, and knows I prefer tea, but for some ungodly reason insists on forcing coffee on me"  
"I'll pass... I'm sorry for getting fur everywhere, and for the feet thing"  
"Titan sheds a lot. She's never liked him because of it"  
"I don't get that. He's a cat, he can't help it"  
"No, he can't. But you're covered"  
"It's fine... I'm really sorry Hanji left me here"  
"It's fine. I'm going to go ahead and make breakfast, feel free to turn the TV on"  
Leaving Eren in the living room again, Levi sighed as he reached the kitchen. They say bad things come in three, and he had a feeling Eren's appointment would be the third thing.

Shinganshima Mental Health was located in an older builder. It's high ceilings and creaking wood floors only added to its charm. Having arrived a little early so he could take care of Eren's paperwork for him, he was trying not watch as Eren's left leg bounced with nerves. He really did try his hardest not to let it get to him, but after ten minutes, he couldn't help himself. Reaching out he placed his hand on Eren's leg  
"Fucking stop it"  
"Sorry. I'm really nervous"  
"No. You don't say"  
Taking a deep breath in, Eren looked to him  
"Levi, they won't tell anyone what I say, right?"  
"Not unless you're a danger to yourself or others"  
"A danger?"  
"You're not going to hurt yourself or anyone else are you?"  
"No..."  
"Then they won't. They're under an oath not to tell"  
"No matter how bad it is?"  
"It's their job to help people"  
"Ok... ok, I just that's good"  
"Brat, its ok to be nervous"  
"It's just... I don't think talking about it will change anything"  
"You never know. And even if you don't get on with your initial counsellor, there are others here"  
"You're going to stay, right?"  
"I'll be waiting"  
"Sorry... fuck... I don't know if I can do this"  
"You'll be fine. You'll probably feel better once you get it all off your chest"  
"I..."  
Eren cut his sentence short, shaking his head   
"You'll be fine"  
"I'm sorry. You shouldn't have to be nice to me because I'm a basket case"  
"It's fine"  
"But... I mean, Hanji just showed up with me and made you take me. I can't even make it up to you"  
"You can make it up to me by not bouncing that leg"  
"I can't help it"

"Eren?"  
Jumping at his name, Eren slowly rose to his feet  
"Hello Eren, I'm Thomas"  
Passing the clipboard up to the scared omega, Eren's eyes silently pleaded with him to save him from this  
"It'll be fine and I'll be waiting"  
Nodding, Eren took the clipboard and walked towards Thomas. The kid visibly shaking as he did. Whether Eren knew it or not, therapy was a huge step and he should be proud of himself for taking it.

Because it was his first appointment, the teen ran over time. His eyes were puffy and red, while he'd chewed his lip bloody during his appointment. Joining him at the receptionists desk, Eren stuttered out that Thomas wanted to see him the following week. When the receptionist asked for a time that suited, Eren looked to him blankly. With Moblit and Hanji's ever changing schedules, he couldn't just pick a time. Butting in, he booked the appointment for the same time the following Wednesday. He had no idea if it fitted any of their schedules, but he supposed they could make it work. Accepting the appointment card with a soft "thank you", Eren waited until he started moving away from the desk before following. The card joining the small collections of brochures he was holding.

Opening Eren's door for him, the omega climbed in first, and Levi was finally able to sneak a peak at the brochures. He didn't like any of the headings. Eating healthy. My body and me, dealing with eating disorders. Dealing with sexual abuse. Emergency accomodation. Alpha abuse and recognising the signs. Moving on after your alpha leaves. There was even one in there for contraceptions and abortions. It wasn't fucking fair that Eren had to deal with any of that shit. Closing the door, he tried to will his anger away as he rounded his car. What kind of fucked up society still thought it ok to intentionally hurt others? This is why he fucking hated humans. They were the single most destructive force that ever existed. Growling to himself, he climbed up behind the wheel. Eren was flicking through one of the brochures already  
"How did it go?"  
"Um... ok. I don't know why he had to give me all of this"  
Relief swelled in his chest. Thomas had given Eren a heap of brochures, not just brochures he needed...  
"It's their job to help, he probably wanted you to be aware of all your options"  
"Maybe... I don't know..."  
Inserting the key and starting the ignition, the car beeped until he clipped his seatbelt into place   
"Did it help?"  
"We didn't talk that much... he mostly talked at me and explained his job"  
"You did well for going"  
"I don't feel like it"  
"These things take time"  
"I don't know how much time I have..."  
His reply was low and Levi was sure he wasn't supposed to hear it. Closing the brochure in his hold, the teen whacked his head back against the headrest with a groan   
"Sorry. I don't think I'm very good company right now"  
"Do you want me to drop you home?"  
"I don't want you to go out your way for me... fuck..."  
"What is it?"  
"Nothing"  
"You're a terrible liar"  
"I'd rather be a terrible liar than be hated"  
"You're terrible a liar and Hanji adores you"  
Eren sighed softly  
"I don't know why. Sorry, I don't feel great, do you mind if I just nap while you drive?"  
"Go ahead"  
"Thanks... and thank you for not leaving"

Deciding to drive Eren out to Hanji's, the kid was dozing when they arrived. Shaking his leg, Eren whimpered as his eyes slowly opened  
"Brat, we're here"  
Blinking, Eren looked towards the house  
"Oh... right. I guess I really did fall asleep"  
"Do you have your keys?"  
"I don't have a copy"  
Of course he didn't. He was lucky Levi did  
"Let's head in. It's just after lunch"  
"I feel like my head's a mess"  
"Are you sure it's not just your hair?"  
"That too. Come on old man, I'll make you lunch"  
"You look ready to pass out, and you want to make me lunch?"  
"You helped me out... it's the polite thing to do"  
"In that case, I'll take you up on it"  
What the fuck was he doing?!

Letting them in, Levi turned the alarm off as Eren limped into the kitchen, the kid yawning his head off he did. Following a few seconds later, he found Eren staring down at the pile of brochures   
"You don't have to deal with them now"  
"Sorry, I was daydreaming"  
"I said you don't have to deal with them now"  
"I know therapy helps some people, but I don't think I can go through with it"  
Gathering the brochures up, Levi placed them under the paper towel roll   
"Don't think about it for now. Take a seat and I'll make something"  
"No, I said I'd make you something"  
"It's fine. I've been here often enough to know my way around the kitchen"  
"I don't normally have a big lunch"  
"Do I want to know?"  
"Probably not"  
"You could do with eating some more. You're underweight for your height"  
"I've always been skinny"  
"There's skinny and then there's skinny. Omegas are generally rounder"  
"I don't want to talk about it"  
"Do you think you can manage sandwiches?"  
"I'll have a banana and a coffee"  
"That's not a real meal"  
"I said I don't want to talk about it!"  
So Eren was touchy about his weight...  
"Ok. Coffee and a banana, right?"  
Eren eyed him for a good few seconds before nodding   
"Take a seat, it'll only take a few minutes"

Despite his insistence that all he wanted was a coffee and a banana, Levi cut up an apple, as well as made extra ham and cheese sandwiches. It wasn't exactly health food, but Eren needed to start somewhere. Carrying the plates to the table, he doubled back for their drinks, sitting so he beside the teen  
"You don't have to glare, we're just sharing plates"  
"I didn't think you'd share a plate"  
"It's fine. I'll leave once I'm done and the dishes are done"  
"I can do the dishes"  
"No offence brat, but you're one stiff wind from blowing over"  
"At least I don't look constipated"  
"You said that the first time we met"  
"And every time I've seen you since, you always look annoyed"  
"I'm not that bad"  
"You really are"  
"Right. Keep telling yourself that"  
"I am and I will"

Lunch was quiet, Eren slowly eating the banana as he glared at it. Whatever was going on in the kid's head, he couldn't even guess. He only knew that he didn't want to just leave him like this. Therapy was hard, and he'd unknowingly stepped on the land mine that was Eren's eating habits... and yes, he knew he was totally making excuses for spending more time with the omega. He hadn't wanted to see him. He'd avoided Hanji like the plague after the dinner party, but now he was with Eren, he was stuck with all these shitty feelings. Out of all the people in the world, why did he have to fall for the abuse victim that had troubles trusting male alphas? And used to be a stripper on top of it all... how many alphas had used Eren to jerk off too... or... violated the teen? It was enough to turn him off his lunch.

When lunch was done, and the dishes were washed and dried, Levi looked over to the table. Eren had fallen silent and he'd thought the teen was just daydreaming again, instead he found him sleeping. The kid really did pass out in the most random of places and times. Telling himself he was only moving Eren so he didn't wake up and fall over, he moved to lift the teen and carried him into the living room, sitting him down in the corner of the sofa, before sitting down next to him. He hated himself for not being able to just leave. He hated himself for all the fake justifications he kept making, and that all the distance he kept trying to put between them seemed to fall away the moment he actually spent time with the kid. Looking up to the living room clock, he still had a couple of hours before work. Once again his mind supplied him with a false justification to stay, telling him it was too much effort to drive back to his apartment before hand. Picking up the TV remote, turned the TV on, before lowering the volume right down, so as not to wake the teen. All that was on was boring daytime TV, so he settled back, finding some bad movie to leave playing in the background. He shouldn't be doing this. Eren was a kid... so why did he feel the need to be by his side so strongly? He hated everyone who ever hurt the kid, and hated seeing him cry. He wouldn't say he was in love with Eren, but definitely wanted to get to know him better... while wanting to run for the hills at the same time. In the past four months since meeting the kid, his life felt out of his control. He felt like he was just watching and along for the ride, with no breaks or stop points... it would be so much easier just to give in... Hanji would never let him hear the end of it... but maybe it was time to seriously consider settling down. He wasn't getting any younger, but how could chain down Eren when the teen was still so young? Closing his eyes, he drove the heels of his palms into them. The omega had no idea what he was doing to him.

Dozing off, Levi felt a hard blow land against his hip, jerking him awake with a growl. To his left, Eren was shaking and struggling in his sleep. A fucking nightmare. Therapy has probably shaken loose things the teen had tried to keep buried, and now his mind was betraying him. Climbing off the sofa before Eren could kick him again, he grabbed the boy the shoulder as shook him hard  
"Eren, wake up!"  
With a whine, Eren's eyes opened, already filled with tears. Unexpectedly, the kid surged up, throwing his arms around him as he started to sob  
"Hey brat. It was just a nightmare"  
"I'll be good. Just don't hurt me anymore"  
"I'm not going to hurt you"  
Lifting Eren by his arse, Levi sat back onto the coffee table with Eren in his lap. He'd never felt this intimate with anyone before. Nor had he ever had someone so close to his nape as Eren was right now. The teen's sobs landing hotly against his neck as he nuzzled in  
"Shhh... it was just a dream"  
"I hate them. I hate them so much"  
"I know you do"  
"I never did anything... why did they hurt me?"  
He wasn't sure Eren was completely with it   
"I don't know"  
"I wanted to die..."  
Crooning didn't come naturally to the alpha, but his instincts kicked in, crooning softly   
"You're not dead, you're with me ok. You're safe"  
Eren nodded, crying against him until he finally fell limp in his hold. Tilting the teen back, he found Eren's eyes closed. The teen's face full of misery, but his breathing even, from crying himself back to sleep. Why would anyone ever hurt the omega? Just how badly had they fucked with him? This pitiful creature wasn't the erotic beast he'd watched on stage. Nor was it the Eren that wore a mask to hide his true self. He was catching a glimpse of what was under that mask and it breaking his heart to see it. Lifting Eren carefully, he carried him up to his room, laying the teen down on his own bed. Hopefully being surrounded by own blankets and scents, the kid would feel safer when he woke, because as much as he wanted to stay, he needed to get to work. Carefully tucking Eren in, he stayed long enough to make sure he wasn't about to wake, before heading backdown. He'd crossed a personal line... and like a coward, he was running from his feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chap... bring it on!!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hit me! I bruise easily...

On a scale of one to ten, screaming nightmares were definitely not Eren's favourite way to wake up. Screaming nightmares on his birthday doubly so. He'd tried to hide them the best he could, even moving from sleeping in his bed, to sleep on the floor of the wardrobe in his room. This was the first year since Zeke had saved him that his brother wasn't here. The first year he was waking up alone. His brother was always the first to wish him a happy birthday. He'd surprise him with some expensive gift, and the whole day would be about him. Maybe that's why he'd felt so disconnected lately. That and therapy. Thomas was nice and all, but there were things he just couldn't share. Things that weren't safe to share, and yet the man would push. They'd talked about Zeke during his last session, and though Thomas guided the conversation, the look on his face made Eren feel like everything he was saying was wrong. He couldn't even tell the man the lead up to his brother coming into his life. But the memories still flooded through him. The pain and fear. The shame of it all. The shame of his part in it. He didn't dare voice any of it out loud. If anything, he felt worse from his two sessions than he had before hand.

Pushing open the wardrobe doors, he found it still dark outside. His nightmare must have come earlier than normal, but his sense of time was complete distorted, so for all he knew it could be any time at all. Dragging his blanket with him, he crawled over to his bed, and into it. It would be so very much like Hanji to come wake him. Not that he expected her to. She and Moblit had their own lives, after all.

Tossing and turning, he couldn't get comfortable. He was no longer a teenager. He was 20. 20 with no job and no future. It was a thoroughly depressing thought, and he longed to see Zeke. Each day was just that little bit harder to get through, as each day that passed meant another day without hearing from his brother. When it became clear he wasn't going to get any more rest, he flicked his lamp on and climbed from bed. He'd been doing his ankle exercises, but Hanji hadn't told him when his next appointment with the doctor or physio would be, so dancing was out of the question. Yoga would have to do.

Yoga managed to take his mind off his miserable state for a small while. Cycling through the dozen or so stretches and moves he knew, he cursed his own laziness. His body no longer felt as flexible as it did before. He didn't feel sexy either. Stopping his stretching, he stood in front of his full length mirror, eyeing his body with disgust. His yoga pants and male crop top used to look so good. When he'd move, he knew all eyes were watching him in rapture. Now he felt fat. A small amount of pudge sitting around the top of the elastic banding around his waist. He knew this was the style. That everyone had it. But it annoyed him. He didn't feel beautiful and alluring. He just felt... plain. Gathering up his yoga mat, he rolled it up and hid it behind the mirror where he wouldn't have to look at it, before grabbing a stray blanket from the floor and covering the mirror so he didn't have to look at himself. Zeke would tell him he was fat, if his brother was here. Being half brother's, the man was able to look at him objectively and help him keep slim. Fuck... he missed his brother.

Not wanting Hanji to walk in to find him so sad, he forced a smile on his face. His room was a mess, and that was disrespectful. He was guest, and had an obligation to keep the space he was borrowing as neat and tidy as possible. Gathering the blankets, he laid them out on his bed, making sure they all sat as neatly as he could get them. He next moved his displaced shoes back into his wardrobe, along with the couple of belts Levi had insisted he'd buy. By the time he was done, the sun had risen... and no one had wished him happy birthday. He was so fake. He'd always play down his birthday, wanting someone to surprise him and make a big deal out of it, but when that didn't happen he'd get depressed... that was before Zeke though. In the awkward stage after his dad... no. He wasn't going there. So why had he done the same thing this year? He'd told everyone he didn't want anything or to celebrate the day, while secretly wanting them all to make a huge fuss. If it was for any of them, he'd do go above and beyond. He'd be there to make sure their day went perfectly... but the same never happened for him. Laying back down on his bed, he grabbed his phone. No new messages. He'd hoped maybe Marco would have messaged... and Levi. God. He couldn't believe he'd actually set foot in the alphas apartment. Or that Levi had a cat. He wished Hanji had some kind of pet. Titan was gorgeous, and perfect. The kind of cat he'd love to own and the kind of cat that looked perfect for snuggling into. He didn't care how much fur the animal shed all over him. He was such a beautiful boy. Placing his phone back down, he climbed into his neatly made bed, hoping Hanji would come surprise him soon.

It seemed forever before she did. Gently pushing his door open, she crept up and climbed into bed next to him. Kissing his shoulder, she wrapped her arm around him as she spooned up from behind   
"Happy Birthday, Eren"  
"Thanks Hanji"  
"I wanted to be the first one to say it"  
"You are"  
"Good. I couldn't get the day off, but I've got a surprise for you tonight"  
"It's fine. You don't have to do anything"  
There he was, lying all over again  
"Too bad, mister. I get off at 5, so I'll bring home something yummy for dinner"  
"Ok..."  
"And I have a present for you, but Moblit is taking you to get it"  
"Should I be scared?"  
"Not at all. Just make sure you get dressed up really nice. Do you hair and make-up"  
"I don't know if I should be scared or not?"  
"Nope. Not at all. Oh, no war stripes for now"  
"I don't always wear war stripes"  
"I haven't even seen you wear them. Marco told me"  
"Of course he did"  
Hanji kissed his shoulder again  
"I've got to go to work, and Moblit will be home at lunch time. Try and get some sleep. You're going to need it"  
"I think I'm scared now"  
"Trust me, its all planned and it's going to be awesome"  
"Thank you..."  
"You're most very welcome sweetie"  
"I don't think that made sense"  
"It's too early to be making sense"  
"Mmm. I agree"  
"Great minds and all that. Ok, I have to go, but don't forget"  
"I won't"

His spirits lifted considerably at the fact they were actually doing something for his birthday. Hanji's warmth lingering on his skin long after the woman had left. Letting himself smile, he finally fell back to sleep.

He was still in bed when Moblit came home, the man knocking politely to wake him up and wish him happy birthday. Nervous about what the surprise Hanji had organised, it took getting showered and getting dressed semi nicely, including hair and makeup, for his nerves to somewhat settle. Heading down, he found Moblit standing in the kitchen, the man smiling before awkwardly holding his arms out for a seconds and dropping them   
"Sorry. I was going to give you a hug, but I didn't want to make you uncomfortable"  
Moblit had done a lot for him. He hated that he made the man feel uncomfortable in his own home   
"Birthday hugs are ok"  
Moving to hug Moblit, it was a little bit awkward, but he felt he'd done well, withstanding for a few moments before breaking the embrace  
"Happy Birthday"  
"Thanks, Moblit. How was work?"  
"Long. Never mind that though. How does it feel to be 20?"  
"No different than being 19"  
"You're still young. Are you hungry?"  
"Not really. I'm kind of nervous. Hanji said she had a surprise organised, but wouldn't give me any clues"  
"Ahhhh. She's good like that. It's nothing bad, I promise"  
"Do I get a clue?"  
"Not yet. We can leave now, if you don't want to eat"  
"Leave?"  
"Yep. That way you'll have all afternoon to recover"  
"You're not making this surprise sound any better"  
"Sorry, but I promise it'll be fine"

Eren didn't bother paying much attention to the world as Moblit drove. He had no idea where the man was taking him, and his anxieties had him scratching lightly at the inside of his left wrist. He had no idea what to say, and each time he'd glance towards Moblit, the man would give him a reassuring smile. When Moblit came to a stop in front of a super official looking building, he tried to mentally sound out the words on the brick wall in front of him  
"Don't worry, it looks so much worse on the outside"  
"It looks scary as fuck"  
Moblit snorted in a way that made him think of Levi   
"It's fine. Everyone finds this place intimidating, and incredibly boring"  
"Boring?"  
"Yep. Welcome to the unexciting world of being an adult"

Inside was like stepping back in some kind of unwanted cool machine. Decked with a mustardy coloured carpet and brown seats, the place was kind of gross, and stank. Wrinkling his nose up, he had no idea what this place was supposed to be  
"I need to grab a ticket, wait here for me"  
A ticket for what?! Moblit hummed as he returned  
"Alright, now we wait"  
"Wait for what? What are we doing here?"  
Moblit frowned, his eyes flicking to the letters over the cashiers desk. That's what he assumed they were. He'd never actually been in a place like this  
"You honestly don't know where we are, do you?"  
"Am I supposed to?"  
His tone was sharp, annoyed he couldn't read the stupid letters  
"It's alright... we're just organising your ID"  
"ID?"  
"Yeah. That's why I have all these papers, and why Hanji wanted you looking extra nice"  
"That still doesn't tell me what this place is"  
"The Department of Transport. We thought we'd get your learners permit sorted while we were at it"  
"Learners permit?"  
"For driving"  
"I... I what... I can't drive"  
"Not yet, but Hanji is super excited to teach you"  
He couldn't even imagine driving. Zeke had said it wasn't necessary for him to learn... so was this ok? Could he really learn to drive? What would Zeke think? He'd probably be mad... but if he got his licence, he'd be able to get a better job. He'd be able to help out more. Was he being arrogant for thinking that maybe this was supposed to be? So that he could repay some of the small kindnesses his brother had shown him.

When their ticket number was called, Eren felt like his mouth was filled with cotton wool. Following half a step behind Moblit, the man went about talking to the woman so prim and properly, that Eren was slightly shocked. Hanji was professional when she needed to be, but Moblit took it to a whole new level as he explained everything. The woman behind the desk sighed heavily at almost everything he said. Everything she asked for, Moblit somehow provided. Even papers he didn't know existed... like a copy of his birth certificate. When all the forms were filled in, Moblit showed him where to sign. After that, he found himself being photographed, explaining why Hanji wanted him to dress up nicely. Paying for his ID and his permit, Eren stared blankly at the piece of paper in his hands  
"Your ID card will be posted out to the house address, but for this says you're who you say you are, and that you're over 18"  
"Why would anyone want to be me?"  
"Oh, things aren't that bad. Now, you have to be starving by now. What's something you've always wanted to try, but never have?"  
"Sky diving?"  
Moblit laughed   
"Not quite what I had in mind. I was thinking more for lunch"  
"I don't know..."  
He was having an ok day so far, and now had ID to his name. And Zeke's diet didn't apply on his birthday   
"I haven't really tried all that much. Maybe we could, um, try something you like?"  
"Are you sure?"  
"I'm sure. I mean, I'd like to try?"  
"I think I know the perfect thing"

 

Lunch with Moblit was pizza. Something so completely normal, Eren was sure he being messed with to begin with. Having ordered them online, they'd only been a home a few minutes when the delivery guy arrived. Turning the TV on, Moblit put on a movie, before retrieving two beers from the fridge and joining him on the sofa  
"Pizza and beer?"  
"Yep. The best way to enjoy both"  
"Um... I'm sorry if what I say is going to sound stupid or weird"  
"What is it?"  
"I just wanted to tell you... I don't not like you. I'm really grateful that you and Hanji were the ones to take me in. And I know I'm messed up, so if I freak out or something. It's not your fault"  
Moblit's smile lit up his whole face   
"Eren, Hanji and I both love having you here. I know you've been through a lot... but when you want to talk, I'm here for you. I know it can't be easy suddenly living with two strangers, and what happened in your past is your business. If you ever want to tell me, I'm more than happy to listen, but if you don't want to, I'm not going to force you"  
"I... thank you. I kind of didn't want to face today. Not until Hanji came and climbed into bed with me. It's..."  
"You miss your brother"  
Eren nodded, picking at the wet label of the beer bottle he was holding   
"It's my first birthday without him... I know he left to keep me safe, but I wish I could talk to him. Or even just see him"  
"Do you want to tell me about him?"  
"He always climbed into bed, so when I woke up, he'd be the first one to wish me happy birthday. He'd make the whole day about me, even when he work or whatever. And he used to bully my boss into giving me the day off... I know it's stupid, but I miss him. I miss him so much"  
"It's not stupid to miss someone you care about. Even if he isn't here, you're not alone. Hanji and I are both proud of you"  
"Even if I can't read?"  
"We can work on that. There's nothing that we can't work at"  
"I felt so stupid earlier"  
"No. I didn't think"  
Eren gave a half laugh that sounded hollow  
"It's not your fault. What movie are we watching?"  
"Oh, Disney. You can't go wrong with Disney"  
"Sorry. I don't know what that means"  
"Ahhh, that's why we're starting with the Lion King"  
"I think I've heard of that"  
"See, you know more than you give yourself credit for"

 

*  
Having spent the afternoon watching the Lion King, Eren didn't feel so bad about crying when Simba lost his father, because Moblit was crying too. Little by little, he'd curled into Moblit's side, feeling better about things now that he'd been able to clearly tell the man that he didn't hate him. It felt like they'd reached a better understanding of each other. Falling asleep with his head on Moblit's shoulder, he was still asleep when Hanji arrived home, waking in time to be blinded by the flash on her phone   
"Happy Birthday!"  
Mumbling, he pushed himself up, before wiping at his drool  
"Thanks, Hanji"  
"Did you have a good day with Moblit?"  
"Yeah..."  
"Good, I have another surprise for you"  
Walking into the living area, Eren's eyes widened at the balloons Marco was carrying. His friend looked drop dead gorgeous and he was surprised Jean had let him out the door in the miniskirt he was wearing  
"Marco!"  
"Happy Birthday! I wanted to message you this morning, but I didn't want to ruin the surprise"  
Climbing off the sofa, he rushed to his friend and threw his arms him  
"Thank you! You look amazing!"  
"So he should. We're all going out tonight"  
"We are?"  
"Yep. We're going to have dinner, then I'll strap both your ankles. You can use anything in my wardrobe or yours. Marco even put on a skirt in case someone from the club recognised either of you"  
"You look amazing. I'm surprised Jean let you out like that"  
Marco blushed lightly   
"Thanks. I'm really happy we can dance together again"  
"Wait. I'm allowed to dance?"  
His eyes were ridiculously wide and sparking with excitement   
"Nothing too fancy, and Moblit and I will be chaperoning you, but yes. I think you deserve a treat"  
Nuzzling into Marco's neck, his friend did the same   
"Are you happy?"  
"Very!"  
"Good. Let eat, then we can get you dressed!"

Dinner was birthday cake. He was pretty sure it didn't count as real food, but Hanji declared that as a doctor, she'd decided it was perfectly fine. The cake itself was Black Forest, with "Happy Birthday Eren" neatly curled across the top. He'd never tried anything like it before, but ate a whole slice without even thinking. Then came presents, both with birthday cards. Hanji and Moblit had gifted him his own set of house keys, on a shiny "E" keychain, while Marco gifted him a new shirt, especially for tonight. Shooed away by Hanji and Moblit, the pair of omegas headed up to Eren's room, where Marco took charge of dressing him... and dropped a bombshell on him. He and Jean had drives past the club where they'd met, only find the building had been burnt down. Eren's instincts told him Zeke was responsible, and dressing like a girl became a much better idea. He didn't want to run into anyone from his days of dancing there, and he really didn't want any trouble at all. He was going out and he was allowed to dance again.

Walking back downstairs with Marco, the omega wasn't sure he actually looked alright. His friend had found a miniskirt in Hanji's things, and despite his mumbled protests had promptly decided he was wearing it, along with the black top he'd brought him. Around his waist was a turquoise belt, while Marco had also had the foresight to bring a pair of simple black flats with him. Looking at the pair of them, no one would be able to tell they were guys... which really didn't thrill him. He was a guy, and he wanted to dress like a guy. Still, he couldn't bring all his objections up. Marco had put in so much effort trying to make sure Eren had a good birthday and his friend was super excited. He couldn't just act ungrateful... even if his boxer briefs were barely hidden by his skirt. If he could really dance again, then all this would be forgotten the moment they got to the club  
"Wow. Ok. I don't know if I should be letting either of you out the house looking so hot"  
Eren's face reddened slightly. He'd accidentally caught a strong whiff of aroused alpha coming off Marco, before realising his friend's neck was covered in bites and hickeys, hidden under a hastily applied layer of concealer. Jean had gone to town marking the fuck out of Marco, while his stupid imagination decided to fill in all the blanks. Marco with his skirt hiked up, his legs around Jean's waist as Jean fucks him while pumping his erection. Knowing Jean he'd be asking Marco over and over how it felt to take his dick. Telling him how tight and wet he was, how good his sodden pussy felt. How he was such a good omega. Telling him he was going to fill him so good, and breed him big with his pups, until his hips stuttered and Marco came across his hands. His cheeks had burnt bright red at the scene provided with no prompting, while between his legs throbbed. He definitely didn't want to know what Marco's sex life with Jean was like. Jean was a simple alpha, who didn't shy away from obscene words... which Marco would tell him all about. Or the dates the pair would go on, only for them to end up having sex in the car or basically in public. Marco said it was a thrill, but it was weird as fuck. He was so soft and sweet to absolutely everyone. So shy and beautiful... yet a total sexual deviant. Even if not all the stories were true, it was enough to make him uncomfortable. He'd been taught that you keep all that yourself, so had no idea if he was doing the right thing by nodding along to his friends words  
"Hanji, leave them alone"  
"I was just teasing him. I need to strap your ankles now. I hope you've got underwear under there"  
"Yes! Are you wearing that out?"  
Hanji cackled, still wearing the disheveled clothes she'd come home from work in  
"Of course not. I was waiting to see what you were wearing"  
"Sit down and Moblit with strap your ankles. I'll be back down soon"

With both ankles strapped, Moblit left him alone with Marco. The omega was texting Jean, who was thinking about blowing off work to come join them. Eren really didn't want Jean coming out with them, but he also didn't want to upset Marco, so played with his own phone while he waited. It was now a little before 7, and he hadn't gotten a text from Levi... it'd been stupid to think he'd hear from him. Levi probably didn't even remember it was his birthday...  
"Everything alright? You're glaring at your phone"  
"Oh, yeah. It's nothing. Hanji and Moblit are taking forever"

"No we're not! Ta-dah!"  
Hanji looked hot in a blood red minidress, while Moblit had suited up  
"Sooo, how do we look?"  
"Moblit looks ready for a funeral, but Hanji looks ready for debauchery"  
"See, I told you were over dressed. It's the tie and suit jacket isn't it, Marco"  
"Yep! The hair looks good though"  
Hanji manhandled Moblit out of his jacket and tie, kissing him on the cheek, leaving a bright red lip stick mark  
"Ok! We're all good to go! But first, we need selfies! Pile in!"

After snapping half a dozen selfies on all their phones, it was finally time to go.

 

*  
Walking into the bar, Eren was confused. He'd thought they were going clubbing, yet here they were... in a fucking bar. He had some kind of ID, but no one had even asked. He didn't understand why they were here  
"Don't look so gloomy"  
"Huh? I'm not gloomy"  
Nudging him, Hanji rolled her eyes  
"I know you're not happy"  
"I'm confused"  
"This place is a bar until 9, then they open up the dance floor. So this, is pre-drinks"  
Eren felt sheepish, but how was he supposed to know?  
"It's fine"  
"Good, because we need birthday shots. How do you feel about tequila?"  
"I prefer bourbon..."  
"Tequila it is!"  
"I don't know..."  
"Too bad! We're here all the time, or used to be. They know better than to give me anything that's not tequila"  
Tequila wasn't usually the drink you started a party with... it was more the bad idea that seemed a good idea at the time. Joining Moblit and Marco at the bar, Eren slid onto the barstool next to his friend  
"Hanji says we have to have tequila"  
"Oh god. No. You work your way up to tequila!"  
"I was just thinking the same thing"  
Moblit shook his head  
"If there's tequila in the house, she'll sniff it out"  
Eren wasn't letting go of his dislike for tequila that easily  
"I bet I could do 20 shots of bourbon, and still be more sober than her at the end of the night"  
"Oh, you're so on!"  
Moblit glared at his wife  
"You can't let him do 20 shots! You're supposed to be setting a good example!"  
"It's his birthday, he's supposed to get drunk and have a good time. That's why we're supervising"  
"Supervising and being responsible adults!"  
Hanji sighed dramatically  
"Fiiiine. You can have your bourbon"  
"Thank you..."  
"But I'll get tequila into you by the end of the night"  
Calling the bar keeper over, it was clear she was indeed familiar with Hanji. Taking the woman's card, she started a tab for their drinks. Hanji got her stupid tequila, while Moblit stuck to beer. Marco ordered some fruity concoction, and Eren had a double shot of bourbon with no ice. It's been months since he'd felt the burn of neat alcohol, and swore his ankle throbbed as a reminder not to be so stupid.

When 9o'clock finally rolled around, he was 4 doubt shots in and feeling relaxed. So when Marco grabbed him by the hand, he let himself be dragged over to the dance floor, as people began to stream into the small bar. He'd never even heard of the DJ, but soon was lost in the music. He'd missed this so fucking much. The feel of his body moving, while his head was in the clouds. Dancing close to Marco, the two omegas ground up against each other. Lost in their own world, and oblivious to the looks of lust around them. Even though their hands were all over each other, there was nothing sexual in it for either of them. Just the happiness that came from dancing, and being able to dance freely as they knew they'd protect each other if something as to happen. There moves so in synch, it didn't feel like months had passed since dancing together like this in front of paying customers. As the crowd on the dance floor grew, random strangers ground up against them, but the pair of them didn't let each other go. He didn't care who else touched him. He felt good. He felt happy and free. The smile on his face wide and genuine. He was so lucky to have met Marco. Male omegas weren't rare, but he was the first other male omega he'd met. The man was beautiful, and he was lucky enough to be dancing with him. Spinning around in his hold, he ground his arse back into Marco's crotch, while Marco's hands hiked up his shirt, exposing his stomach as they wandered. He'd missed feeling sexy and powerful. Right now, he was sure he could pick any alpha in the crowd and they'd fall to their knees to be with him. He had no idea how long they danced like that, but the need to hydrate had them abandoning their spot on the dance floor. Hanji and Moblit were still sitting at the bar as they made their was back to them  
"There you are! Having fun?!"  
Nodding his head, he playfully slapped at Marco's hands on his waist  
"Heaps! Need water!"  
"Water or tequila?!"  
"Water!"  
Water first, then more alcohol. Hanji ordered a bottle of water, and two shots for the pair of them. Splitting the water, Eren grinned as he downed his two shots like it was nothing. Marco downing his at a much slower rate   
"I need to use the bathroom!"  
"We're going to head out onto the dance floor, meet us there?!"  
Marco nodded  
"I'll find you!"  
Leaving her bag behind the bar, Hanji grabbed his hand and Moblit's hand, pulling them both forcefully onto the dance floor. For a quick moment, he worried for Moblit, but his friend was bonded with Jean... so his scent wasn't as appealing to horny alphas, and if he wasn't sure he'd be ok, he wouldn't have gone on his own. Turning his mind back to dancing, he smiled as Hanji came up behind him. It wasn't the same as dancing with Marco, but he'd be back soon.

Pushed aside as Moblit and Hanji started making out mid-dance, Eren's eyes wandered over the crowd of strangers, not looking anywhere in particular, until a mass of blonde hair caught his attention. His heart felt like it stopped, before beginning to race. Zeke... before he could stop himself, he was plunging through the crowd. His brother... his brother was here. He'd come to see him on his birthday. Emerging from the dancefloor, he span slowly. He'd lost sight of him, but the bathroom was right there... maybe Zeke wanted to see him privately? Shoving open the door, he rushed in, instead finding Marco throwing his guts up. His reflection in the bathroom mirror, from where the omega hadn't even closed the door. Rushing to Marco's side, he rubbed his friends back as Marco whined weakly   
"Eren..."  
"Shhh, I've got you"  
"I don't feel good"  
"Let me call Jean to come and you get you?"  
Marco nodded, slumping against him limply. Pulling his phone from his friends pocket, he pinned in Marco's pin and pulled up Jean's name. When the alpha didn't answer, he left a message for him, explaining Marco was drunk and needed a lift home as soon as possible. Hushing his distressed friend, he slid to the floor properly to hold him  
"Jean's on his way. Ok?"  
"Feel weird"  
Weird?"  
"Drunk weird?"  
"No... its so hot"  
Placing his head on Marco's forehead, it felt like his friend was burning up  
"Come on, we need to get you outside and into the fresh air"  
"I don't know if I can walk"  
"I've got you"  
Marco whined sadly, letting Eren pull him to his feet and straighten out his skirt. Keeping a tight hold on him, he guided him out the bathroom and past the bar. Within a few minutes, they were outside the bar. Tugging him over to the wall just down from the glass windows, he sat Marco down, before joining him  
"Better?"  
"Mmm... its hot"  
"The cold night air will help with that"  
"Sorry..."  
"What are you sorry for?"  
"For ruining your birthday"  
"You didn't ruin my birthday"  
"I got sick"  
"You got drunk"  
"Same difference"  
"Nope. I had an awesome birthday"  
"I think I'm going to be sick again"  
Throwing up beside them, Eren held the limp Marco up. His friends breathing was growing steadily worse, and he had a horrible feeling Marco wasn't just drunk. He still hadn't heard from Jean, and didn't want to leave the omega alone while he got Hanji. He also didn't want to cause a huge scene. But Marco's vomiting had already been noticed by security. The man stepping over their legs to stare down at them  
"Everything alright here?"  
"No. I think my friend's been drugged"  
"Drugged?"  
"Please. He's having trouble breathing"  
"Stay here and don't move"  
Like he was going anywhere when Marco needed him. Purring softly, he rubbed Marco's back and hoped he'd done the right thing by telling the security guard.

With all his attention on Marco, he didn't notice the ambulance arrive. Pulling up directly across from him, he nearly jumped out of his skin when a firm hand landed on his shoulder   
"Eren?"  
Looking up, he found himself staring into Erwin's eyes. All the emotions he was feeling hit him at once, his eyes welling with tears  
"Thank fuck... its Marco. We were drinking for my birthday..."  
"Ok, is it just you two?"  
"Hanji and Moblit are inside"  
"Good. Ok. I'm going to take a look at Marco, I need you to hop out the way for me"  
Nodding, Eren forced himself from   
Marco, moving to wrap his arms around his waist as he stood, stumbling slightly as he didn't want to take his eyes off his friends. Climbing from the side of the ambulance, Levi didn't even seem to notice him there. The man's eyes narrowed with focus as he carried some kit with him.

Crying softly, he watched as Marco was moved into ambulance. His friend now had an oxygen mask over his face as Eren went into an internal meltdown with guilt. He should have seen this coming. He shouldn't have let Marco go to the bathroom alone. He should have found him sooner. If it wasn't his stupid birthday, none of this would be happening. His hitching purrs coming out as butchered hiccups, until Levi climbed from the back of the ambulance  
"Brat?"  
"This... is all my fault"  
Undoing his thick jacket, Levi placed it around Eren's shoulders before grabbing him lightly by them  
"Marco is going to be just fine. We got the call and we're pretty sure he's having a mild allergic reaction. We're taking him to hospital as a precaution. Do you want to go with him, or back into the club to find Hanji and Moblit"  
"W-with Marco"  
"Ok. Is there anything you need from inside?"  
"N-no... I've got Marco's phone... need to call Jean"  
"You can do that while I drive"  
Releasing him, Levi moved to guide him to the ambulance, Erwin helping him climb into the back and sit. Marco looked completely awful causing Eren's guilt to swell further. Closing the side door, the omega sniffled sadly  
"Did Levi tell you what's going on?"  
"Al-allergic reaction..."  
"Yeah. He's going to be ok"  
"Need to call Jean"  
Erwin nodded, his attention wasn't really on him to begin with.

Eren called Jean over and over, first he left a new voice message saying Marco was being taken to Shinganshima Memorial. When they finally arrived, it was a flurry of activity and he somehow ended up in the waiting room while Marco was whisked away. Scared and alone, his tears dripped down onto Marco's phone, until it finally vibrated in his hold. Swiping his thumb across, he brought the device to his ear  
"J-Jean?"  
"Eren? Where are you?! Where's Marco?"  
"He's in the ER..."  
"I've just arrived. Stay on the line"  
"I'm sorry!"  
Sobbing into the phone, he stood while waited for Jean. The alpha marching into the strangely quiet waiting room  
"Where the fuck is Marco? What happened?"  
Snatching Marco's out his hands, Jean's anger terrified him  
"He... he was taken straight in"  
"How the fuck could you let this happen?! Every time he's with you, he always gets fucking hurt! No wonder that sick brother of yours fucking left you"  
Before he could comprehend, there was a solid thud as Jean punched him in the face   
"You stay the fuck away from him! You're bad luck and a fucking jinx!"  
Falling to the floor, Eren sobbed harder.

 

*  
Marco was going to be fine. If anything Eren was the worser one of the pair. The omega's records showed an allergy to cherry, which Marco may have accidentally ingested while drinking. Levi didn't want to admit it, but when he'd seen Eren and Marco huddled together outside the bar, he'd immediately thought the worse. With this being their last call out before shift change, Levi was going to Eren home after Jean finally arrived. Leaving Erwin to finish the paperwork, the alpha was heading towards the waiting room where Eren had been abandoned upon their arrival. He'd hoped that the omega would be able to compose himself and calm down before had to face him, but then the sounds of yelling reached his ears. Picking his pace up to a jog, he opened the door to the waiting room just in time to see Jean punching Eren in the face. The brat crumbled. His sobs so broken and desperate, he didn't know how Jean could even raise his hand to him  
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?! Your mate was just brought in due to an allergic reaction, and you're throwing punches at the person who got him help and stayed with him!"  
Grabbing Eren up, he pulled him to feet and guided his face to his neck as he held him protectively close  
"He what?!"  
"Eren noticed something was wrong with Marco and told security. He thought he was drugged first, but he's definitely having an allergic reaction. And you fucking punched him for it?!"  
"No one told me anything!"  
"No one told you, or you didn't listen?!"  
"Just... where's Marco?"  
"He's been given an injection to counteract the reaction. He's going to be fine"  
Whimpering against him, Eren's knees gave out again. From his spot at reception, Olou called out to him  
"Levi, do you know this alpha?"  
"Yes. His mate was just bought in, Marco Bott. This is Jean. I need you to open the door so I can take Eren back through. I'm sure the police would be more than happy to talk to Jean about what just happened"  
"Hey... what, wait now..."  
Lifting Eren, Levi strode over to the door, Olou opening it for him and allowing him to carry Eren to the closest chair where he sat him back down. Taking the brat's face in his hands, he tilted it towards the light  
"Levi?"  
"It's fine, Olou. Nothing's broken. Erwin and I will be taking him home"  
"What about the police?"  
"Leave him to sweat for half an hour, then let him see his mate. We all know how bonded alphas get, especially those who don't take suppressants"  
"Eren isn't going to want to press charges?"  
"No. He knows Jean. He's just a bit shaken up"  
"Alright"

Pulling Eren up against him, the kid clutched him tightly  
"You're ok. It's been a long night and we'll get you home"  
Nodding, Eren continued to cry. His distressed scent turning sweeter and more alluring by the second. With a horrible panic, his eyes widened. The kid was going into heat right there. Eren had said his heats were messed up, but this was insane. Even if he was stressed and upset over what happened to his friend, it was much too sudden for his heat to just happen like this.

"Levi?"  
"We need to get him home"  
"Is he ok?"  
"Jean showed up and punched him in the face"  
Erwin let out a deep sigh   
"The papers are taken care of, we'll drop the bus off, them we can drop him home"  
"I'll take him. I need to explain to Hanji and Moblit what happened, and he's going into heat"  
"Ok, can we walk?"  
"I don't think so. Can you grab his shoes?"  
Lifting Eren, the omega wrapped his legs around him and let himself be carried, while Erwin slipped his flats off. Levi's alpha didn't like the male being so close, but he also couldn't tell Erwin to fuck off, especially when his presence was keeping him on edge and preventing him from doing anything stupid. Climbing to the back of the ambulance, Eren didn't even seem to notice the change in his surrounds. His sobs instead tapering into small sniffles as he remained hidden against him.

Erwin called Hanji as he drove to let her know what happened. The drive back to base seemed to take forever, while Eren's sudden heat was starting to take a physical toll on him. After being forced to accept Erwin's help, they got Eren into his Range Rover, when the kid curled into a ball and Levi cursed Jean all over again. Because the braying jackass, he had to drive out to the fucking suburbs in the middle of the night. Erwin had offered to follow, but Levi sent him home. Something he regretted five minutes into the drive when his attention wavered so badly, he had to pull off the road. With Eren in heat, he couldn't stop himself from being aroused. The brat was beautiful after all. His long tanned legs and his brilliantly green eyes. His curiosity and twisted sense of humour. He knew he was hopelessly attracted, something his alpha was all too happy to announce to the kid with a flood of pheromones. Together their scents were mixing together, hyping up the levels of need between then pair of them. Eren's need to be bred and his need to fuck the absolute shit out the brat. Reaching over, he turned Eren's face towards him, running thumb across his bottom lip. Even broken, Eren was stunning. He wanted to wrap his arms around him and never let him go. He wanted to wipe away his tears and make him smile until he couldn't remember how to cry. Unable to stop, he leant in, his lips finding Eren's as if with practiced ease. One kiss slowly melting into another deeper one... and another. Undoing his belt, the omega climbed into his lap, their kisses growing hungrier as Levi freed himself from his own seatbelt, and dropped the seat back. All reason had left the alpha's brain, all he could think of was Eren's sweetness as his hands undid Levi's pants. Sliding his hands down the curve of Eren's arse, he hiked his skirt up, and pushed his underwear down. The honeyed scent of slick filled the car, Eren mewing as his fingers ran over his dripping opening, already loosening with the need to be mounted. Greedily he pushed two fingers into Eren's heat, the omega mewing into his mouth as he tore at Levi's underwear, freeing his aching dick from it's confines. Fucking and opening Eren, Eren's moans of his name and mews for "more" seemed to resonate with something inside of him. A small voice screaming out that this beautiful creature was made for him alone. Suddenly fingers weren't enough. Taking Eren by the hips, he held him down as pushed up, Eren baring his throat as Levi sheathed himself completely. The walls of Eren's tight wet heat gripped him greedily, drawing him in. Releasing Eren's hips, he took his face in his hands, leaning up to kiss him softly as he started to rock his hips. He'd never felt anything like this. Like he was melting into the omega. His alpha filled with love for the brat they barely knew. Breaking the kiss, Eren moaned, started to move his hips much more desperately, filling the car with the lewd sound of wet skin hitting wet skin. As his knot started to swell, his hands slid back to Eren's hips, holding him down as he fucked him as hard as he could. He needed to come. To claim his omega. Wrapping his hand around his dick, Eren jerked himself roughly, coming with a long and needy whine, as Levi drove up against his sweet spot, his knot finally flaring and his seed pulsing into Eren in long thick bursts. Pulling him close, he bit down on Eren's shoulder, only just able to avoid his neck at the last possible moment. Waves of pleasure seemed to hit with each burst of come, while Eren slumped against him. Nuzzling into his hair, he peppered kisses to the bite mark, his hips still rolling as Eren rippled around him. It honestly felt like he couldn't stop coming. He loved this stupid bright eyes brat.

As his orgasmic bliss passed, and his senses finally returned, he'd realised what he'd done. He wanted to pull out, but his knot was still firmly lodged in the omega, while Eren seemed to have fallen asleep on top of him. Fuck... he'd fucked up. Eren had called so sweetly for him... he couldn't deny the brat. Not when he wanted him so much. Stuck in this hellish pleasure, he wished that reality wouldn't come crashing down around him.

When his knot finally deflated, he slid free from Eren. The omega whined softly, but didn't wake. Leaning over to the glove box, he fumbled out his first aid kid, using one hand to open it while holding Eren close with the other. Finding the panty liner in the pack, he fumbled it open, before lining Eren's underwear and redressing the kid. He used two of the wipes from kit to try and clean up their mess, but it was pretty pointless. He'd practically flooded Eren with an insane amount of cum. Which though normal for an alpha, would probably freak Eren out in the morning. He had no idea what he was going to say. Packing the kit away, he gently rolled Eren back into his own seat, before tucking his dick away. Stupid. How could he be so fucking stupid? Angry tears started to fall as he restarted the car. Adjusting his seat back up, he glared at the world with a passion not normally seen in the eyes of an alpha who'd just had the best sex of his life. When they finally reached Hanji's, Hanji and Moblit were standing on the front verandah. The guilt eating him alive as he climbed from the car, barely making it to the garden edging before vomiting. Running over to him, Hanji only needed to take one look at him before wrapping her arms around him  
"Oh Levi"  
"I fucked up... I fucked up so badly"  
"We'll get through this"  
Sobbing pathetically, he clung to her   
"I think I like him... but I've ruined everything. He didn't say no. He just kept saying my name and asking for more... but it's his heat... I messed up"  
"Shhh, it's ok. We'll figure this out..."  
"I've ruined everything"  
"No. Here, come with me. You need a shower. You smell of Eren"  
"I..."  
"Shhh. I've got you"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry... Eren remembers it all. Regrets are plenty but Levi's not in the doghouse


	12. Chapter 12

Waking too a steady and rhythmic beeping, Eren groggily groaned at the world. He felt like absolute fucking shit. A cool hand came down to rest on his forehead  
"Eren? Sweet heart?"  
"W-water..."  
"Here honey. Let me help you"  
A straw was pressed to his lips, Eren taking a deep sip. His mouth felt all furry and gross. Letting straw fall from between his lips, he blinked at Hanji, trying to clear the sleep from his eyes  
"What happened?"  
"You had a bad heat and collapsed, do you remember?"  
He remembered fucking up and throwing himself at Levi... with everything that happened with Marco and Jean, he'd hit meltdown and climbed into Levi's lap. Ruining everything they'd built up between them. Hurting the alpha and losing his virginity in the process. Levi had been so kind and soft. So sweet and it'd felt amazing at the time. Until he woke up and realised what he'd done to the man. He liked Levi. But he'd stupidly ruined it all. Fresh tears rolled down his face   
"I remember my birthday and coming home"  
"Oh sweetie. Shhh... its not all that bad"  
"I... hurt Levi"  
Starting to sob in earnest, Hanji climbed up into bed with him. Rolling him up to her, she crooned softly  
"He was so nice to me... w-what h-have I d-done?"  
"Hey... out of everyone in the world you could have slept with, you chose an alpha that really cares about you"  
"I've n-never done an-anything like before... and n-now I've r-ruined everything"  
"You haven't ruined everything. I promise you that. Levi was beside himself worried about you. I promise you, he really cares about you. Eren, have you never had sex before?"  
"N-no"  
He was far too miserable to be embarrassed   
"Z-Zeke s-said it was dirty and wrong"  
"It's not dirty and wrong. What about your heats? You've touched yourself before? You know you can't help but feel the need too"  
"I... I don't... it's wrong"  
Hanji let out a small sigh  
"Ok. Ok, I understand. You didn't do anything wrong. You're ok. Just a little bit of dehydration and exhaustion. We gave you a sedative so you'd sleep through it all. But I imagine you feel a bit gross?"  
Now that she mentioned is, he did. Hanji was probably laying in a pool of slick  
"Yeah..."  
"Alright. How about we get you unhooked? Then you can take a shower in the staff showers. It's much nicer in there, and I've got my stuff in my locker"  
"Am... am I allowed?"  
"Of course you are. No one's going to say no to me. Also, Mike's on, and even if you don't remember him, he knows all about the precious omega I'm lucky enough to have living with me"  
"I'm not precious. I'm a... I'm bad"  
"No, honey"  
"I am. I hurt Levi. I didn't save my mum from my dad! Zeke left me... I'm bad"  
"Sweetheart, this is just your after heat blues talking. You're not bad. You're beautiful and kind. A hot shower and some chocolate will make everything seem much better"

With legs as shaky as a new born foal, Hanji helped him into the staff locker room. Supplying him with a soap and change of clothes, he figured he must have been in hospital for a little while. Either that, or Hanji was scarily prepared  
"I'm just going to let Moblit know you're awake. He's been worried about you. The showers are just in there. Take as long as you need"

"Thank you..."  
"It's ok. No ones going to interrupt you, and everything will be ok"

 

*  
Coming out of his rut, Levi couldn't stop thinking of what had happened with Eren. Moblit had looked ready to deck him, carrying the omega up to his room while Hanji supported him up to the bathroom. Showering only made him feel worse. He wanted to revel in Eren's scent, his omegas scent... but after what he'd done... Hanji had called Erwin, sitting him down, bundling him in a blanket and forcing him to drink a god awful cup of tea. Erwin not asking questions as he was driven back home, where his rut kicked in. Filled with self loathing, he didn't want to face the world. His sheets and bed were a filthy disgusting mess. He didn't want to fucking move, but the crust across his skin was driving him crazy. It felt revolting to be laying there in a mess of his own making. Hauling himself from his bed, he staggered into his bathroom.

The effects of his rut meant his shower took normal than longer. The bliss from release washed away just as fast as the mess he'd made down the shower floor. He hated being an alpha for this very reason, and having been through yet another rut, it was definitely time to see about being put onto stronger suppressants. A bitter laugh fell from his cracked lips. Eren was supposed to be on suppressants. They hadn't fucking done anything for the kid, but at least he'd been given a contraceptive shot, so nothing would grow from his monumental fuck up. Closing his eyes, he could almost feel the omega moving against him. The warmth and softness of his form as he rode him... the way he called his name and begged for more. The brat probably didn't remember a fucking thing. Fleeing the bathroom, he towelled himself dry, before dressing in loose sweats and an old T-shirt. The roughness of the fabric grating against his overly sensitive skin. Ruts fucking sucked. Despite his lack of hunger, he knew he had to eat, and had to feed Titan. Feeding Titan came first. The fat tom cat was waiting by his bowl, looking up at Levi as if concerned for his humans health. At least someone still wanted to talk to him. Hanji, Moblit, Erwin and Eren would all probably want nothing to do with him.

With his lunch, or breakfast, or maybe even dinner made, Levi collapsed down on his sofa. He should have left Eren at the fucking hospital for Hanji to pick up. Picking up his cup of tea, he stared down at the dark liquid. His life had been so simple before Eren came along with his... no. Eren couldn't help it. He was scared. He was hurting. His body betrayed him due to how distraught the whole mess had left him. As the door to his apartment creaked, he couldn't bring himself to look up. The chain had been across, all his friends knew how to get it off, but only one had the stink that Erwin did  
"Hey, Levi"  
Sighing, he placed his cup back down. Of course Erwin fucking knew when he'd come out of his rut. The man knew way too fucking much about him. Closing the door softly behind him, his friend walked over and sank down next to him   
"Hanji, I'm going to put you on speaker phone"  
Levi's eyes widened. An uncomfortable feeling forming in the base of his stomach. He'd only heard from her once since this all started, and that was to let him know she had to take Eren to hospital  
"Hey Levi, it's Hanji"  
He didn't know what he supposed to say  
"I just wanted to let you know Eren woke up earlier. He was dehydrated, but he's going to be just fine"  
"Hanji, Levi's a bit out of it"  
"Levi, I know you're taking this hard but I have something I need to tell you. Eren remembers everything"  
Fuck... he didn't want the omega not to, but part of him had hoped he wouldn't... that way... maybe...  
"He's ok. His post heat has hit him pretty hard, but he remembers and he's really upset. He's worried you're going to hate him and that he's hurt you. You two are so alike. He likes you so much, and now he's terrified he's ruined everything between you. We talked a little, and you need to know, he wanted to have sex with you. But he was scared because Zeke has drummed it into his head that it's wrong and dirty. He doesn't even touch himself during his heat because of it. He's been denying his urges, which is probably part of the reason his heats are so erratic. He wanted it, and he wanted you"  
"He... he was in heat"  
"Levi, we talked about it at the hospital and then again during the drive home. He told me himself that you're the only alpha he's ever had the feelings for. Please, I know you're hurting and blaming yourself. And I know no matter what I say, you're going to keep on blaming yourself. Just... just don't give up on him because of this. Don't give up on being with him over this. You both like each other, and you might have gone about things a little backwards, but he likes you. You've been able to get through to him when Moblit and I haven't"  
He'd heard enough. He didn't want Hanji trying to make him feel better, and even if Eren did forgive him, it only proved how broken the brat really was. He'd taken the omega's virginity. Eren who deserved at least a bed with clean sheets and somewhere safe. Not just a hard fuck in the front of his Range Rover. Reaching out, he ended the call. He couldn't deal with this shit. He wanted to fucking scream.

"Levi?"  
"Not now Erwin"  
"You need to talk to someone"  
Levi gave a small laugh  
"About how I violated an omega?"  
"You know..."  
"I know what? He's a fucking abuse victim. He was fucking punched in the face not even half an hour before I fucked him. This. I didn't fucking want to get involved with him because I knew he wasn't fucking ready. Zeke's so far into his fucking head, he's trying to suppress his own dynamic... yet I still fucked him. I knotted him without even thinking. If Hanji hadn't organised for his contraceptive shot, I could have got him pregnant. He can't even look after himself. How's he supposed to... no. I can't do this. You need to go"  
"Levi, you're not to blame"  
"I fucked him!"  
"And from Hanji said, Eren feels the exact same way you do! He has feelings for you! He feels like he forced himself on you and that he's hurt you! He might have gone into heat, but he chose to like you before that"  
"You don't know what the fuck you're talking about"  
"Don't I?"  
"He fucking passed out in my arms. He was emotionally exhausted!"  
"And you know what. Even after knotting him, you didn't force your mark on him. You cleaned him up. You took him home. You admitted what happened and you put him first. You're not a bad person for sleeping with the people you like, and the person who gave his consent. Eren is so stubborn and hot headed. If he hadn't wanted it, he would have found a way to stop you. Hanji told me about his lucid heats. He can function during them. He even used to go to work while in heat. So stop throwing yourself this fucking pity party and go talk to him properly"  
"Like he's even going to want to see me"  
"Right now, you're probably the only person he actually wants to see"  
"Why? I hurt him"  
"For fucks sake. I'd forgotten how rotten you got after a rut. You know what. There's no point even trying to talk to you when you're like this. I thought we left all this self destructive bullshit in the past. I've done what Hanji asked. Made sure you didn't die or do anything stupid. Now grow a pair and sort this shit out, before you end up hurting him even more"

Storming from his apartment, Erwin slammed the door hard enough to scare Titan. The cat flying through the living area and into his bedroom. Even if Eren forgave him. He didn't know how to forgive himself. He... he liked him so fucking much... a feeling he didn't even understand to begin with... where did they go from here? Eren liked him... he liked Eren... they were definitely sexually compatible, but Eren needed time and space to heal...

 

*  
Hanji had taken time off work to help him with his post heat depression. Most of the time they cuddled on the sofa, binging bad movies and napping together. He didn't feel great, not when Levi was on his mind constantly. Hanji had said she'd talked to Levi, and explained his feelings to him. He still felt guilty. He'd given into his depression and given into his feelings for Levi. He'd acted ever bit the selfish omega he was and let Levi kiss away his worries. Now the alpha wasn't talking to him, or Hanji, or Moblit. He knew Hanji had tried to ring him a couple of times, with no reply. His own phone had been flooded with messages from Marco, apologising for Jean's behaviour and assuring him he was alright. His friend had an allergy to cherries and hadn't realised they were in the fruit cocktails he'd started their night with. Even if Marco said it was his fault for not thinking to ask, he still felt responsible for what happened. His phone was sitting on the coffee table, glaring at him and demanding his attention, while Hanji was cuddling into him as she snored. It would be so easy to let himself fall asleep. It would be easy to spend another day ignoring reality... but... Levi was suffering and he was the one caused it. Plying Hanji off him, the woman grumbled but didn't wake. Slipping from his spot, he grabbed his phone and headed up to his room.

Sitting cross legged on his bed, he took a few breaths as he mentally prepared his speech. He could just say "hey, how are you?", because that seemed not enough. He couldn't beg Levi to forgive him. He couldn't ask him out... he was too fucking scared to do that. And having sex had made him realise he really wasn't ready for it. It still felt like he was betraying Zeke... even if it'd felt right being intimate with Levi. He just... he wanted to hear his voice. Throwing his phone, he snatched it up again before he lost his courage. Scrolling through his contacts, he pulled up Levi's name, realising this was first time he'd ever actually called the alpha... he didn't even call Marco. Hanji and Moblit was it... pressing the device to his ear, his heart was racing at it rang... and rang... and rang... he was right. Levi didn't want to know him. He'd hurt him too badly and the man had abandoned him. Listening to Levi's prerecorded voice message, he let out a shaky breath   
"Um... Levi... it's me. Uh, Eren. I um... I'm sorry. I really like you. And I don't, um, regret what we did... I just, regret I hurt you. You... mean a lot to me and I've never done anything like that before, but I think the reason it happened was because it's you. I'm sorry. I like you. I like you so much... but I'm so fucked up. I don't blame you for hating me... I'm so sorry"  
His shaky breathing turned into sobbing. Ending the call, he threw it across his room. That was it. Levi wouldn't come back for him. Just like Zeke hadn't really been there on his birthday. His brother had forgotten all about him because he was too much trouble... and now he'd spelt with an alpha he wasn't even bonded with. Oh... Oh God... What if Zeke found out? Zeke would go after Levi. Levi wouldn't even know what he'd done wrong. Fuck... he couldn't tell Levi to watch out, because the alpha wasn't talking to him. 

Stumbling off his bed, he nearly broke his neck rushing down the stairs and face planting off them. The thud loud enough to wake Hanji   
"Eren?"  
Her voice was sleepy, pushing back the blankets she rose to her feet  
"Are you ok?"  
Gathering himself up, he shook his head  
"I forgot... I wasn't safe... Hanji, you need to call Levi. You need to make sure he's ok"  
Hanji frowned. Taking him by the arm, she lead him over to the sofa, where she pushed him. Sitting on the coffee table, Hanji took his hands in hers, checking for injuries  
"I'm sure he's alright"  
"No... Hanji, I wasn't thinking about Zeke"  
"Eren. I have no idea what you're talking about"  
"Zeke. If he thinks Levi did something, he'll go after him"  
"Oh honey..."  
"I know what you think, but Zeke is protective. He's had alphas hurt for getting close to me before. I can't let him hurt Levi because of me. Please. Please call him"  
"Eren, Zeke is gone. You haven't seen him since he left you in hospital"  
"I... I have. He told me I need to stay here. That means he knows I'm here. He knows about all of you. He can be dangerous when it comes to me. He's the one who put Bertholdt in hospital. Please..."  
"You've seen him?"  
"J-just once... he told me he'd come back when it was safe"  
"And you're not lying?"  
"No! Not about this. Please Hanji, he needs to be careful"  
"Levi can take care of himself. He's tough"  
"But Zeke has contacts and I can't tell him... Levi won't answer if it's from me"  
"You're really worried for him, aren't you?"  
"Yes"  
The word was said with so much force and conviction, Eren surprised himself. Yes. A million times yes  
"I think he'll be working, so I'll call Erwin. They should be together"  
The well of hope he felt at Hanji's words ebbed away when he realised that she was also calling Erwin because Levi probably wouldn't answer a call from her either. He'd ruined things between Levi and Hanji. Jean had been more right than he'd known. He was a jinx. He was bad luck and deserved to be left behind. Taking her phone out, Eren wiped at his eyes now his hands were free. He felt so nervous he was sure he would either vomit or pass out. Holding the device out, Hanji put it on speaker. The rings agonisingly repeating until Erwin answered   
"Hanji? What's up?"  
"Hey Erwin, I need a favour. Is Levi there with you?"  
"Yeah, we're on shift. Is everything ok?"  
The sigh of relief left him feeling deflated  
"Look. Eren's worried that Zeke is going to go after Levi. He also warned me that he's more than willing to hurt people, even those he's close to. Can you let know not to approach Zeke if he seems him?"  
"I've got you on speaker"  
"Thanks Erwin, he's really shaken by this and is worried about Levi's safety"  
"I'll keep an eye out while we're at work... but hasn't Zeke been gone for months"  
"Eren's seen him since he left him. Something he's only just decided to tell me about..."  
There was no mistaking that tone. He was definitely going to get it once Hanji got off the phone  
"He has?"  
"Yep. And of course, we have no idea where Zeke is. Both of you should stay safe and keep an eye out"  
"We will. Thanks Hanji, and thanks for letting us know, Eren"  
He didn't know what he needed thanking for. He'd done this to all of them. Ending the call, Hanji placed the phone down next to her  
"I think we need to have a little talk"  
Glumly, he nodded  
"You're going to make me tell, aren't you?"  
"Yeah, I'm sorry. But if people we love are in danger, I need to know what's going on"  
"And if I tell you... do you promise not to leave me"

Climbing from the coffee table, Hanji wrapped her arms around him  
"Sweet heart. I am not going anywhere. Ok"  
"But do you promise?"  
"Pinky promise"  
Eren's lip trembled, if Zeke knew he told, he'd never forgive him... but if he didn't tell, then they could get hurt   
"What... what do you want to know?"  
"How did Zeke come into your life? You love and rely on him so much, so why are you scared of him?"  
Pulling his legs up, he rested his head on Hanji's shoulder  
"Please don't tell"  
It was more like, please don't tell Levi. He didn't want the alpha hating him even more  
"I won't"  
"He saved me"  
"I've heard you say that before"  
"Because he did... I ended up in a really bad home, who hurt me. That's how I got the scars on my ankles. They'd taken me to hospital and they didn't know what to do with me. I couldn't even talk, but Zeke came in one day. He didn't know he had a little brother until the authorities tracked him down and he became my legal guardian. He punished the people who hurt me, because the police didn't... he showed me photos of their bodies and promised he would always keep me safe... but we had to keep our heads down... we couldn't draw attention to ourselves. I didn't know anything. He taught me. He taught me to cook and clean. He stayed with me through all the nightmares and helped me learn to speak for myself again. He'd kiss me and hold me tight, and let me sleep with him when I was scared. Clean me up when I hurt myself during my heats. He trained me how to be normal and good. He showed me what to do and told me how I need to pay my way through life. A real adult doesn't not pay rent or for food or bills. All I had to do was be good. And I tried so hard to be good for him. A few months after we moved here, Reiner and Bertholdt moved in. They're both really scary... and could easily take Zeke... but he had something on them that kept them loyal. He made them get jobs at the club so I'd be safe to dance, because he knew how much I love it. Then... then I fucked it all up. I got drunk because I was feeling trapped and Zeke was gone. I climbed on the balcony rail because I wanted to fly. and when I jumped back down, I rolled my ankle... that's why Zeke took me to hospital. He was always there for me Hanji. He kept me safe from them. He killed to keep me safe. How could I betray him. I love him! I love him and he left me"  
Clutching at Hanji, he wailed. He didn't know if he'd told her enough, but he just couldn't tell her anymore about his past  
"He'd hurt alphas who took too much interest in me. He burnt down the club! I know it was him! He came and told me stay here and not cause trouble. But I did! And now Levi could get hurt!"  
"Shhh, ok. Ok honey, you've said enough. You're ok..."  
"I'm sorry!"  
"Shhhh. You're not responsible for Zeke's actions, and Zeke won't hurt Levi. Not if he loves you like you say he does"  
"I miss him. I knew what to do when I was with him. I don't know what to do anymore"  
"I know you don't. I know, but you told me and I'm still here"  
"You can't look into my past. If they find out... it's not safe. Promise me you won't!"  
"I told you before I wouldn't"  
"Please Hanji! I can't lose you! Not you or Moblit!"  
"We're fine. We're all fine... shhh"  
Crying himself out of tears, he fell asleep on the sofa.

 

*  
Levi took Hanji's phone call with a grain of sand. His heart had momentarily raced over the fact Eren was so worried about him, but his anger at himself cut down the feelings blooming from the omega's words. After it, Erwin had spent the rest of their shift monitoring his every action. He knew Zeke was obsessed with Eren, but he'd honestly thought the alpha had abandoned him. The fact Eren said nothing about having seen his brother left him angered. He'd had so many opportunities, and to him it felt like he was throwing the fact Hanji and Moblit had taken him in, back in their faces. He didn't want to be angry at Eren, but how could he not be when the kid wouldn't tell them anything. Checking his phone after work, he sighed when he saw the missed call from Eren. It would be so easy to ignore it. Pretend he never got it, or that Erwin must have deleted it. He knew he that everything other than listening would be taking the cowards way out. Clicking the message, he raised the device to his ear  
"Um... Levi... it's me. Uh, Eren. I um... I'm sorry. I really like you. And I don't, um, regret what we did... I just, regret I hurt you. You... mean a lot to me and I've never done anything like that before, but I think the reason it happened was because it's you. I'm sorry. I like you. I like you so much... but I'm so fucked up. I don't blame you for hating me... I'm so sorry"  
The brat sounded to broken. His words fell between sobs as he voice crack with emotion. It must have taken Eren all the courage in the world to reach out and call him, and all because he was worried about him. Levi felt like an even bigger arsehole. This broken and pitiful creature had more courage than any of the alphas he knew, combined. Eren openly admitted he liked him. That he had wanted him. That he didn't regret having sex with him. That was convinced he hated him. The pit in his gut seemed to widen to a chasm. He didn't hate Eren. He was frustrated and annoyed and angry and probably a thousand other emotions when it came to him, but he didn't hate him. He couldn't hate him. The kid was brave and fiery, or broken and sobbing, his emotions like a yoyo, but even so, both sides were still Eren. And he liked him. Even knowing that he had no real idea what he'd be getting into if he took that next step and told him. He'd liked Eren from the very first time they'd met. When Eren had called him constipated and spat out horribly bad pick-up lines. But Hanji had said he'd been abused, and when he'd Zeke all over him, he'd known it to be true. Now the kid was free of his abusers, he wanted Eren to grow and rediscover himself. He was going to therapy, which was huge, and he hadn't wanted to do anything that would jeopardise that. Fuck. He needed to talk to him. He couldn't turn back time and undo what they'd done... but he could talk to him.


	13. Chapter 13

"Eren, you have a visitor"  
Poking her head into his room, Hanji smiled warmly at him, before opening his door properly. Curled up in his bed, he'd been avoiding her after her unwarranted online purchases... which had arrived right in time for him to be coming out of his post heat depression. Hanji had decided he needed to embrace his sexuality. The woman marching into his room and upending a box of sex toys and pornos on his bed, like it was a perfectly fine and normal thing to do. Then she'd laughed when he'd tried to run away from it all and ended up in the floor. Some of the things... there was no way they were fitting in there. Getting the sex talk from Zeke was bad enough. Getting a box of "sex" was positively mortifying and she'd acted like it was fine!  
"Honey, you can't ignore me forever"  
"I can too"  
"Nope. You just replied. Anyway, he wanted to see you last week, but with your depression being so bad, I thought it better we wait until today, when you have the whole house to yourself"  
"Hanji... do I want to know what you've got planned?"  
"Nope. No plans here"  
"You're always scheming"  
Hanji giggled  
"You know me too well, but this time, I promise there's no ulterior motives. He wanted to see you, to talk. Now, get up and come hug me because I have to go to work"  
"Can't you come here?"  
Lifting his blankets, Hanji locked eyes with him until Eren finally slid out from under them. Padding softly over to the female alpha and wrapping his arms around her  
"You're so mean"  
"I know. Call me if anything happens?"  
"I won't. Moblit's home tonight, isn't he?"  
"Yep. I feel replaced already"  
"I could never replace you"  
"Aww. I love you too sweetheart. Don't go getting into trouble"

He'd thought talking to Hanji and telling her they were in danger would drive her away, but it hadn't. She didn't ask him any more about Zeke, and he was grateful for it. If anything it kind of felt like they were even closer, especially with what she'd just said. Even if it was a joke, that was first time she'd told him she loved him.

Expecting Marco to be the one waiting downstairs, he didn't bother changing out his yoga clothes. He'd been stretching before deciding that taking a nap was a better idea. Walking into the living room, he was completely unprepared for Levi to be sitting there. A thick book sat on the table in front of him. Looking to him, Eren felt like his heart was about to fail. Levi looked better than he'd remembered. He didn't understand how that was possible. The alpha was hot. Even if he was shorter than him by a few inches, he had this kind of effortless sexiness that made him slick without meaning  
"Eren..."  
"You're ok..."  
Staggering over to him, Eren slumped down next to him. Levi was here. Right here. Zeke hadn't hurt him  
"You're ok..."  
"I'm fine, brat. But I thought we should talk"  
Talk. Oh. Yeah. He had no idea what to say though. He... he'd had sex with this man. He liked Levi. He liked Levi and he had sex with him  
"Oi. Brat. Calm down. I just wanted to make sure you're ok"  
"I'm so sorry. Climbing into your lap like that. Leaving you a message like that. I was being so selfish"  
Levi snorted  
"If you're apologising to me, you really are a basket case"  
"What?"  
What?... What?! He was trying to apologise here!  
"Brat. You don't need to apologise"  
"I do. I... I've liked you for a... a long time. I've never liked anyone before. I don't know what I'm supposed to say or do. You were... kind in your own way, but because of me, you could be in danger"  
"You don't even know me"  
"I think I want to. Even if it's not like that..."  
"I'm old and boring, and according to you, constipated"  
Eren blushed slightly  
"That's before I learned you actually give a crap"  
"What makes you think I do?"  
"You'd be in hospital if you didn't... and you wouldn't be here trying to talk this out with me, if you didn't"  
"I can't argue with that logic"  
What the fuck was he supposed to say now? He didn't even have anything to talk to Levi about. He didn't know what the man liked and what he didn't like. He didn't want to ask him about his job, because he knew it probably had days he just wanted to forget. Rubbing his sweaty palms against his yoga pants, he hated the silence.

"Brat. I told you to calm down"  
"Then talk! I don't know what I'm supposed to say"  
Levi let out a laugh that didn't impress him. At least he was trying   
"I thought you would have realised now, I'm shit with words"  
"Then why did you come?"  
"Because of that message you left. It must have taken all your courage to call"  
"Hanji told me you felt bad... and I don't want you to. I... I wanted to do it, that thing, with you"  
God. If the ground could kindly swallow him  
"It's called sex"  
"Well it's not like I've ever willingly climbed into the lap of an alpha before. And thanks to that, Hanji brought me a box of sex toys!"  
Maybe he shouldn't have yelled the last bit... his cheeks flaming   
"Did you expect anything less from her?"  
"God. This is what I hate about you alphas. You all act like the only good thing about us omegas is the sex! I don't want or need to have sex to be happy. And I don't regret having sex with you. It made me realise just how much more work I need to do on myself"  
"At least something came out of it"  
He wanted to smack his head against the wall. Levi still wasn't giving him anything   
"So, you're really ok? You ended up in hospital"  
"From dehydration, and Hanji spent the last week with me"  
"That's good"

And there was that silence again... he needed something other than this awkward conversation about sex. His eyes moved to the book on the table   
"What's that?"  
"It's a book"  
"No fucking shit"  
"I remembered that you have trouble reading, so I thought we could try have you read this"  
"There's no way..."  
It was stupidly thick, and looked brand new   
"Not all at once. I thought if you cane across words you didn't understand, you could text me. I won't always be able to apply right away. But I will reply"  
"You're going to teach me to read?"  
"There's no need to be so shocked"  
"It's just... you're so busy"  
"Not too busy to reply to a text from you"  
"What if I get the words wrong in the text?"  
"I'm pretty sure I can work out a text from a brat like you"  
Hanji had said Levi liked him in the same way he liked the alpha. Despite how fucking awkward he was, he was giving him chance  
"Before we start, can I ask you something?"  
Eren huffed, drawing his words out to tease Levi   
"I suuuuuppose I owe you that much"  
"How far did you get with your schooling?"  
Fidgeting, he didn't want to say. He didn't want Levi thinking even less of him  
"I know how society treats omegas. I won't judge you"  
"Really?"  
"Yeah"  
"I didn't even go to high school"  
The words where whispered, but Levi nodded anyway  
"And Zeke helped you right?"  
"He tried to..."  
"Then I think you're really going to enjoy the book. I was... I thought it might be too young for you"  
"How can a book that thick be too young?"  
"Because it's a collection of books in one volume"  
Picking the book up, he nearly dropped it from its weight   
"Um... I can't even read the title"  
"The Chronicles of Narnia"  
The Chronicles of Narnia. Repeating it to himself, he wasn't sure how "ch" was "k" but if Levi said so, it had to be true  
"Don't worry, there's pictures"  
"Oh. I wasn't worried about that. I was just thinking how big it is"  
"That's what he said"  
Eren sighed  
"Really?"  
"Really. I just came to see how you were, and to drop the book off. I should probably go"  
"You don't have to. I mean, Moblit and Hanji are at work. Wait no! Not like that. I mean. I don't know"  
"Thanks to Erwin, I have an event I have to attend tonight. I still need to get ready for the shitty thing"  
Eren mood dropped  
"Don't look like that. Just start on the book"  
"I will. Um, Levi. Thank you for coming 'round. I was so nervous, but not so much anymore"  
"That's good. And even if you don't regret it, I'm still sorry. An omega like you, deserves more than sex in a car"  
"A-an omega like me?"  
"A bright eyed brat with a good heart"  
"This means we're friends right?"  
"Yeah Eren. Don't forget to message me, and if you can't spell the word out or don't understand the sentence, you can send me a photo"  
"Thank you, Levi"  
Fuck... his stupid omega wanted to lean in and kiss Levi's soft lips. He knew how warm and right they felt against his own, while a warm and fuzzy feeling was filling his stomach. He and Levi were friends, which was so much better than nothing. And if Zeke asked, he could protect Levi. He could tell him honestly that Levi was friend. He'd never had this many friends before.

 

*  
Levi's heart had been in his throat when he'd arrived on Hanji's doorstep. After deciding he needed to talk to Eren, he'd called Hanji, only to be told Eren was still going through his post heat depression. He'd thought he might be able to help with that, but understood her protective stance over Eren. Post heat omegas were slaves to their emotions, often acting out or saying things they didn't actually mean. He couldn't deny there wasn't some part of him thinking Hanji was blowing him off, until the woman messaged him back to let him know that she and Moblit would be out on Thursday, and to come see Eren then.

Between his phone call and Thursday had been a small eternity. He'd tried playing out the conversation in his mind, yet nothing seemed right. He wanted to start again. He wanted to try build a friendship with Eren, but at the same time, he understood if Eren felt it was no longer possible. 

After sitting down and talking to Hanji, he'd been even more nervous over talking to Eren. She'd reiterated the fact that Eren had feelings for him, and warned him not to break his heart. The kid had had his heart broken more times than he could count. He didn't want to add to that number. He just wanted to know Eren was alright.

When Eren walked in, his breath was taken away. He looked good. He looked beautiful, even with his hair pulled into a messy bun. If he didn't know what to say before hand, he had absolutely no idea now  
"Eren..."  
"You're ok..."  
Stumbling, the teen came to his side. Levi shocked form over Eren declaring he was ok. The omega was genuinely relieved. He could smell it in his scent. The kid was way too fucking pure for someone like him. His own relief left his mouth moving on its own. Eren didn't hate him. He wasn't mad at him. He didn't think... he accepted what had happened between them and even if he wasn't ready for anything more than friendship, Levi considered himself lucky to even be getting that. He'd felt so guilty. The book he'd purchased for the omega was an extension of that. A pathetic way to force Eren into talking to him, invade the conversation didn't go the way he wanted. Their conversation had been awkward, Eren blurting out more than he knew the omega wished too, like the box of sex toys, and he hadn't really provided much, but once it was over, he felt dopey like a shitty love struck fool. He didn't want to leave, though he wasn't sure what they'd do if he'd stayed. Eren looked so hopeful. So happy and interested in spending time with him. It was better not to push things too fast, not when they'd both have to figure out how to come together as friends.

He didn't expect Eren to message him a few hours later, though it was was very welcome distraction. Hiding behind a ridiculously large pot plant, in a just as ridiculously large reception hall, he avoiding socialising. Erwin had shifted their shifts around, resulting in him now being forced to go to the Charity Ball, he'd never wanted to attend. The theme was silver and black, with centrepieces that were shit masquerading as abstract vases. Their only redeeming quality being that they made seeing across the table impossible. With a little careful rearranging, he was hidden by both the plant and the centrepiece, quietly sipping his scotch as he avoided the possibility of running into Petra. Erwin had already deserted him, his friend off talking to Nanaba, so he really needed to make his scotch last as long as possible. He hated these events, but it was just the kind of thing Eren would love. A large band, a wide dance floor, glamorous dresses and shitty penguin suits. Yeah. He'd be nervous at first, and then, once the band started playing, he'd love it all. Doubling checking the coast was clear, he looked back at Eren's message. Rather than asking what each word meant in one message, the omega spammed him with a list, clearly eager to learn. He could imagine Eren sitting there, very carefully making sure he spelt each word correctly, then smiling to himself when he'd copied it over correctly. He could have bought Eren a dictionary, but wanted to show Eren he was serious about starting a friendship and being there for him. He knew how self conscious Eren was about the fact he couldn't read, so hadn't told Hanji this part of the plan. Breaking it down by each word, he spelt out how the words were pronounced, then what they meant. Sitting there mouthing the words, and mentally repeating them to make sure he wasn't telling Eren the wrong thing. He probably looked like a fool with the dopey smile on his face, but he knew this was helping Eren take another step to independence  
"Hey, Levi"

Fumbling his phone, he ended up sending a string of letters to Eren as the device hit the floor. Snatching the device back up, he wondered why he hadn't just hidden under the table completely. It seemed relatively clean under there... and he wouldn't be face to face with Petra. Sitting back up, he found Petra had invited herself to sit in the chair that had been Erwin's  
"I didn't think I would see you here"  
"Blame Erwin. He switched our shifts"  
"I'll have to thank him"  
Reaching out she fiddled with his tie  
"After all, you look wonderful"  
Oh for fucks sake. Here she went all over again. Feeling his phone vibrate, he smiled at the text on the screen, Eren had replied with "That's how my brain feels, but explain?". Tapping back his reply that it was by accident, the smile was back on his face  
"Oh, good news?"  
Right. Petra. A few omegas had looked his way before he'd hidden himself. Only Petra was stupid enough to come over to him  
"Something like that"  
"Is it Hanji? I notice she isn't here"  
"No, she's working and Moblit is at home with Eren for the night"  
"Eren?"  
"You met him. The omega Hanji took in"  
"Oh! Right. The omega who was abandoned"  
"He wasn't abandoned"  
"I thought that was why Eren was taken in"  
"Its more complicated than..."  
His sentence trailed off. Eren sending him a selfie with a the book and a look of confusion. Snorting at the photo, Petra's hand reacted out, her fingers resting lightly on his wrist   
"Levi?"  
"Hmm, what? Sorry"  
"Is something more interesting on your phone?"  
Yes. Definitely more interesting...  
"I'm just talking to a friend"  
"You know, you should put away your phone. It's such a wonderful evening"  
"I'm kind of in the middle of a conversation"  
"But you could be having one here, with me"  
Petra fluttered her eyelashes, her pink painted lips pursing   
"I am so happy to see you here. But you're being so distant. Have I done something wrong?"  
"Petra, look. I'm here because of Erwin, and I am happy to reimburse you the cost of the ticket. I'm actually in the middle of an important conversation"  
"Oh. I'm sorry to disturb you. I just, wanted to know if you'd maybe want to dance"

"You know he won't dance, Petra"  
He didn't know where Erwin had come from, but he was grateful for the save. His phone vibrated again, this time a photo of Eren, Marco, Hanji and Moblit came through. From the look of it, it was taken on Eren's birthday. The next message was simply "sorry", followed by a photo of the page number. He'd struggled his way through to 40. Congratulating him, he then looked back up to Erwin   
"Let me guess, you're talking to Eren?"  
"Why didn't you tell me you were talking to Eren?"  
Erwin sounded amused, while Petra sounded upset   
"Yeah. I went and talked to him today"  
"How was he? Hanji said his post heat was pretty bad?"  
"He's doing better"  
"That's good to hear. Say hi to him for me? Petra, would you like to dance?"  
"Actually, Levi and I..."  
"She would love to. You know I don't dance"  
"I wonder if Eren knows ballroom dancing?"  
"I wouldn't put it past him. He would love all this"  
"Is something going on between you and Eren? Is that it? Are you dating that rude omega?"  
Erwin placed his hand on Petra's shoulder, her face sour like she'd been sucking on a lemon  
"Petra..."  
"You don't know Eren, and you have no right talking about him like that. He's been through a lot"  
"Why him?"  
"I'm not dating him. We're friends"  
"Then why won't you date me? I've loved you for years. I'm ready to give myself to you completely"  
"Petra, you don't even know me"  
"But I do. I know how kind you are. How deeply you feel things. If you just..."  
"If I what? Gave up being gay? I am gay. I like men. And I'm fine with how I am. I thought we moved past all of this"  
"Have you ever..."  
"Petra, that's enough. Now, I don't mind dancing with you, but you need to accept that Levi doesn't wish to date you. You're young and your pretty, and Olou is absolutely crazy about you"  
Rising to her feet, Petra snatched up her handbag and stormed off, Erwin sighing as he took the vacated seat  
"Don't let her get to you"  
"I'm not going to"  
"You've had a pretty scary look on your face since she said Eren was rude"  
"Because she doesn't even know him"  
"I'm aware of that. Never mind, she'll calm down soon. You said you saw Eren today?"  
"Yeah. He left me a message, so I went to visit him. We needed to talk about what happened"  
"Did you?"  
"He doesn't regret what happened, but wants to work on himself"  
"Sounds like a smart kid"  
"He is. He admitted he felt he isn't ready for a sexual relationship, so we're working on friendship"  
"And you're ok with that?"  
"Yes. I didn't want to sleep with him, or start a relationship because I knew he needed time. So I'm relieved he hasn't regressed"  
"And you'll give yourself a break"  
He wouldn't go that far. He still felt bad, even if Eren didn't. He felt like he'd taken advantage of the youth, especially given how much older than Eren he is. He couldn't deny his feelings for him, so if Eren still felt this way later down the track, he'd be willing to see where it went  
"Levi"  
"He's a good kid"  
"I know he is. And I saw that smile on your face when he was messaging you"  
"That's because he's a brat"  
"I've never seen you look that happy"  
"Erwin. You're drunk. Go home"  
Erwin laughed   
"No, you just haven't had enough to drink"  
"After that shit with Petra, I think I'm going to head home"  
"You don't have to leave because of her"  
"I didn't even want to be here to begin with. I thought my corner was safe"  
"You were well hidden"  
"Not hidden enough"  
"No. Do you want me to give you a lift?"  
Erwin looked back towards the dance floor  
"I think I'm going to stay"  
He didn't need to think about Erwin having sex... shaking his head in disgust, he pushed himself out his chair. Home, shower, tea, Titan and a few more messages to Eren. A much better plan than coming to this ball had been... fuck it. He should have just blown Erwin off completely. He could have hung out with Moblit and Eren, made a boy's night of things. His relationship with Moblit was a little shaky from what had happened, and for both Eren and Hanji's sake, he hoped things returned to normal soon.

 

*  
Eren found himself messaging Levi even when he hadn't struggled with the words. He liked the book, and he liked messaging Levi. The alpha was patient with him. He had to be. It'd been a month a bit since Levi had given it to him and he was still working hard at trying to understand it all. The alpha would break the words down so he could pronounce them, as well as giving their definition. Sometimes Levi even texted him just to say "hello" or to ask how he was. Each time his heart would leap, like the stupid teenage girls on the TV shows described. Each time he'd rush to read Levi's message, and to reply. When his last therapy session with Thomas had left him breaking down, Levi had called to check in because he knew the appointments took a lot out of him, and talked him through how to breathe until Hanji picked him up. The alpha was patient and kind. He couldn't message all the time, but he did when he could, and it made him feel special.

Sitting on his bed, he had the book Levi had given him open on the bed. English was ridiculous. He didn't get why letters didn't all sound the same, it made his head hurt. When his phone started ringing, he snatched it up, thinking it was Levi. He only briefly paused when he say the caller ID said "unknown", but still answered   
"Hello?"  
"Hey Eren, how are you?"  
Scrambling off his bed, he rushed to his window, pushing the curtains back as he tried to look around for his target  
"Zeke?! Zeke, where are you?"  
"You should be more careful. What if I was a bad guy? You look good"  
"Zeke, when are you coming back?"  
"Coming back? I thought you'd forgotten all about me. If I was a bad guy looking for you, I could have killed you by now"  
"No. Never! I could never forget you! And if it was for you, I'd die for you... Please, why can't I see you? I want to see you"  
"You look happy... do you like playing families with Hanji and Moblit"  
"I want you. I miss you. Please... I miss you and I want to come home with you"  
"Eren, that's just not possible. I've been watching you. You're not the good omega you used to be"  
Eren's breath caught  
"Zeke... please"  
"Listen, I've got a job lined up for you. You don't dance like you used to"  
"I..."  
"I've been watching Eren"  
"Y-you have?"  
"You're always surrounded by alphas"  
"They're my friends"  
"Your friends? Omegas can't just be friends with alphas"  
"No! It's not like that. Zeke, you know that! You know I want to be good for you"  
Zeke's voice sounded almost magical. His brother was alive and he'd reached out to him!  
"If you want to be good for me, you'll take this job. You'll get to dance again"  
"I want you... I want to be back with you"  
"Don't cling Eren. It's unseemly"  
Fat tears rolled down his face. He wanted to see his brother. He wanted to see him again so badly. He wanted to show him how much better he could read now. How good he was being. He'd been going to therapy. Hanji and Moblit had helped set him up with a bank account. He had his ID... he could be so much better for him!  
"Please Zeke..."  
"If you're good at your job, then I might let you come home"  
"Really? I miss you, Zeke. I miss you..."  
"I'm going to send you the address and time. Make sure you do your hair and make up. You need to look pretty"  
"And if I do good, I really get to see you?"  
"If you do good, Eren. I know you can be good again"  
Eren sank to the floor  
"I miss you... I love you Zeke. I love you"  
"Be a good boy, Eren"  
"I will. I promise"  
The call ended. Zeke gone from him again... sobbing, he felt angered that Zeke could just call him up like it was all ok, then disappear like nothing happened. He hated that he'd steers to get used to not having Zeke around, but all it took was a few words and his brother was the only person in the whole world he wanted to see.

Almost immediately, his phone started ringing again. Answering, he was sure it was going to be Zeke again, instead Marco's panicked voice came through   
"Eren? Eren, are you home? I need to see you"  
Eren nodded, before remembering Marco couldn't see him nod  
"Y-yeah..."  
"Hey, are you ok?"  
"Yeah, come round"  
"I'm already on my way..."  
"Then I'll see you soon"  
He couldn't deal with Marco right now. He couldn't deal with anything. He didn't want to deal with anything... stupid Zeke! Stupid Marco! Hurling his phone across his room, he foolishly screamed, before remembering Hanji was home. Shit. Scrambling up, he wiped his face, reaching the top of the stairs as Hanji appeared at the bottom   
"Eren?"  
"Sorry. It's nothing..."  
Walking down the stairs, he stopped in front of Hanji   
"Honey, you've been crying"  
"Oh. I'm just happy. Marco's coming over and one of the dancers from the club might have a job for me"  
"You want to go back to work?"  
Eren nodded quickly   
"Yeah... I miss it"  
"I think we should talk about this, but first, did you say Marco's coming over?"  
"Yeah. He sounded panicked"  
"Ok, how about I give you two come space? I've got some stuff to organise in the office anyway"  
Reaching up, she wiped his tears away   
"Are you sure you want to go back to dancing?"  
"I do... I miss it. I miss feeling in control"  
"I still want to talk to you about this"  
"I know... I, um, don't know if I'll take it yet, but I'm interested"  
"I know you'll do what's best for you"  
"Thanks, Hanji"  
"You should rinse your face, or Marco's going to be even more worried"

Marco didn't even knock, his friend rushing into the living room and throwing himself into his arms... proceeding to scare the crap out of him   
"Marco? Marco, what's wrong?"  
Marco's chest began to vibrate as he started to purr. Pulling Marco into his lap properly, he held him close, letting his friend nuzzle into his neck   
"Hey, what's wrong?"  
"I'm pregnant"  
Marco and Jean had been trying for a baby, so why was Marco so distressed  
"That's wonderful. Congratulations"  
"Is it?"  
Now he was even more confused  
"Didn't you want to have a baby?"  
"Yes..."  
"Then isn't this a good thing?"  
"I'm scared"  
"Oh Marco... it's all going to be ok. Have you told Jean yet?"  
"No..."  
"Marco, Jean absolutely adores you. He loves you more than anything and would everything in his power for you"  
"Do you really think so?"  
"I do. In fact, I know it for a fact"  
"I'm scared to tell him"  
"It might be scary, but I bet he's going to be so excited that you'll be swept up in happiness"  
His best friend was pregnant... he was happy for him, but his omega roused, jealous it wasn't him. The moment the thought popped into his head, he squashed it back down in disgust. He couldn't be thinking things like that. Marco needed his reassurances right now  
"I'm pregnant..."  
"Yep. Hey, do you want me to get Hanji?"  
"Why?"  
"She's a doctor remember. She's got all that medical knowledge stuff. So you'll be able to ask her anything, and she'll be able to tell you about the best clinic to go to"  
"Clinic? Like abortion clinic"  
Eren shook his head, as he tried to soothe Marco  
"No, I mean like to get the pregnancy confirmed and ultrasounds and all that"  
"Oh... sorry"  
"It's ok. You're in shock, but I would never tell you to get rid of your baby. I know how much you wanted this, and I'm going to be here for you, and for your baby"  
"Thank you, Eren... I didn't know who else to call"  
"I'm happy you called me. You know you can tell me anything, don't you?"  
"Yeah... I'm really pregnant"  
Eren nuzzled into Marco's hair line, kissing him softly  
"Yeah. And you're going to be the best mum ever"  
"I think I want to get it confirmed, before telling Jean. I don't want to get his hopes up"  
"We can do this however you need. This is all about you, and your baby"  
"You're such a good friend"  
"I try. Here, why don't you get comfy while I get Hanji?"  
"Ok... you're coming back right?"  
"I live here, you're stuck with me"  
Marco sniffled softly, climbing from his lap   
"It'll all be ok, I promise"  
His friend nodded, wiping his eyes, before placing one hand on his stomach. Once again jealousy flared for Eren. He didn't want Marco to see him acting so petty, so he fled.

Knocking on Hanji's open office door, he smiled as she turned around   
"Eren, is everything ok?"  
"Um, Marco was hoping to talk to you. He needs a doctors opinion"  
"Is he ok?"  
"He's a little shocked"  
"Did he say what happened?"  
"I think it's better you talk to him"  
Her smile dropped slightly, but she abandoned her desk, following him back down to the living room where Eren curled back up with Marco. 

Sitting on the coffee table, Hanji waited until Marco had calmed himself back down. The purr coming from Eren helping to sooth his friend   
"I'm pregnant. I mean, I did a few tests and they came back positive"  
"Marco, that's wonderful!"  
"I don't know what to do"  
"Does Jean know?"  
"Not yet... I thought, I think I want to get it confirmed first. I don't want to get his hopes up"  
"Are you sure? You're going to need his support"  
"We've been trying for a while, and now it's happened... I don't know what to do"  
Hanji nodded, a warm smile on her face  
"A lot of new mums to be don't. First things first, we'll book you an appointment to get it confirmed. Once confirmation comes back, we can discuss your options when it comes to obstetricians. I know a few, so I'll be able to put in a call. Anything you don't understand or your scared about, you can call me or text me. You're not alone, remember that"  
"Eren pretty much said the same thing"  
"That's because he's a smart as he is cute. I have a friend who might be able to squeeze you in at the end of the day, do you want me to give her a call?"  
"Today?"  
"It doesn't have to be today. You've had a big shock"  
"I don't think I can go home and not tell Jean"  
"Alright. Let me go make that call. I'm really happy for you Marco. You're going to be an amazing mum"  
"Thanks, Hanji"  
Hanji left to call her friend, while Eren nuzzled into Marco  
"See. Everyone knows it"  
"I'm so happy I met you"  
"Me too. Out of all the sleazy bars in Shinganshima, I'm glad we ended up at the same one"  
Marco let out a small giggle  
"Yeah. It was pretty bad"  
"I still can't believe an omega as cute as you was dancing there"  
"We needed money in a hurry"  
"Isn't that always the case"  
"I guess I'll need to quit my job"  
"Not right away. You can still work while pregnant"  
"I don't know..."  
"Look, talk to Jean about it. He loves you"  
"I will"  
"Good"  
Continuing to nuzzle each other, they were both purring when Hanji returned   
"You're in luck, she can see you today, but we have to go soon"  
"Are you sure? I don't want to inconvenience you"  
"Marco, you're practically family. And in this family, you get love shoved down your throat, even when you don't expect it"  
Marco looked confused, while Eren shrugged it off  
"She's crazy, but she's right"  
"Thanks. I guess we should go?"  
"Yep. Eren, do you want to grab your phone and things before we go?"  
"Do I need my phone?"  
"You might if Levi texts you"  
"You didn't tell me you and Levi were a thing!"  
"We're not a thing"  
Hanji winked at Marco  
"They text all the time"  
Because Levi was helping him learn to read properly... and he was going stir crazy from being home alone and because he really liked talking to him  
"Fiiiine, I'll get my phone"  
"He makes it sound like such a chore"  
"It is!"  
"He's just gotten lazy in his old age"  
Eren tried to laugh it off. His thoughts snapping to the fact he needed to look sexy and appealing for his new job, which he didn't feel like he did. Still. His feelings on the matter were tightly locked away with his past and everything else he didn't want to deal with. Heading up to his room, he found his phone had skidded behind his mirror. Fishing it out, he wiped the screen off, before hitting the power button. He had a new text, from Zeke, with the details of his job. He started tomorrow night, and a car would come pick him up. Hanji would lose her shit if he knew he was getting into a car with a random stranger. Probably even more if she knew it was because of Zeke. Stuffing the device into his pocket, he headed back down to where Marco and Hanji were waiting by the door  
"Eren, shoes?"  
Looking down at his bare feet, he shrugged   
"You should be wearing shoes"  
"It's fine. We're not doing a lot of walking"  
"See, lazy. Come on boys, let's go make sure you're knocked up"  
Marco laughed softly as he linked arms with Eren   
"She makes it sound like she wants both of us to be pregnant"  
"I wouldn't say no to that..."  
"Hanji, don't tease me"  
"I'm just saying..."  
"At this point in time, I don't want to have a baby. I'm happy being Uncle to Marco's"  
"You'd make such cute children"  
His omega agreed whole heartedly with Hanji on the matter, mentally supplying him with a barrage of thoughts of Levi. Just because he and Levi were texting, didn't mean they'd seen each other. He was too nervous to invite Levi around when Hanji and Moblit were out, and with Moblit's mother's operation coming up, the pairs schedules were insane as they tried to get everything organised before they left, so there really hadn't been any time to have Levi over for dinner... Levi and Erwin of course, or any of their friends, because it was their house after all. They could invite whoever they wanted over. Fuck. He didn't have time to be thinking of Levi. Marco needed him right now. He needed to focus on him. Him and his baby...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zomg. Next chapter...


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is that... is that a date I see?

Hanji was reluctant to let him go to his new job on his own. The woman had gently tried to talk him out of it, but that was only because she didn't understand that he wanted to work as a dancer for himself. He wanted to feel sexy and confident again. He wanted to know that he had a hold over every single alpha in the room, while none of them could touch him. Sure the costumes sucked most of the time, and the money wasn't that great, but he loved dancing. He didn't feel dirty or like he wasn't good enough when he was on stage. He was a complete different person, the kind of person he wished he could be in real life. He was strong and unattainable. He could hold his head high and proudly boast that this was his body. Dressing carefully, he braided his hair down the right side, letting it hang loosely, before catching the end up in a messy bun. His makeup was bright blue into a soft green, while his lips were a matt red. He looked good. This job was exactly what he needed to distract him how pathetic his omega side was being over Marco's pregnancy. Since his heats had started at the tender age of 8, his omega was angered that Marco, who's heat's started at 16, was pregnant before him. That his friend would be going through all of this before he got a chance to. He'd been so mixed up and confused by his restless omega side, that he hadn't even been able to talk to Levi about it all, or just in general. He didn't even know if Levi wanted kids, let alone kids with him. He knew the man struggled to always make his feelings known the way he'd intended, much like himself, so he'd forced himself not to text him, incase he said something he'd later regret.

Coming downstairs, Hanji sighed as he walked into the living area  
"You look nice"  
"I know"  
"You know..."  
"Hanji, please"  
"I'm just worried for you"  
"It'll all be ok. I worked for two years before I fell off the stage that time. I know what I'm doing"  
"I know you so. And I know you're strong, and that you can take care of yourself. It's just... all a bit sudden"  
"Like I said, I got a call from someone I used to dance with, and their club needed a new dancer"  
The lie rolled smoothly off his tongue. It wasn't like he'd never danced with Zeke, so it wasn't all a lie. And. If Zeke was the one behind the job, he'd be safe. His brother wouldn't let him get hurt  
"You should at least let me drive you"  
"They're picking me up. I promise to text you if anything goes wrong"  
"And you trust them?"  
"I've known them for years"  
"Ok... Have a good time"  
"I will. I've missed dancing so much..."  
"Just make sure you don't over tax your ankle"  
"I promise not to undo all your hard work"  
Hanji finally climbed off the sofa, walking over to him, she pulled him into a tight hug  
"I'm sorry for being overbearing"  
"You're just worried about me. I know. Thank you"  
"Your rides been out the front for like 5 minutes now. You better go"  
"Yeah. I don't know my hours yet, so I'll probably be home late"  
"You've got you keys, right?"  
"Yep"  
"Then you'll be ok"  
Prying Hanji off him, the woman wiped at her eyes  
"I feel like a proud mum sending her baby off to school"  
"You know I'm 20, and a stripper right?"  
"Fine. I feel like a proud mum who's sending her 20 year old off to be an exotic dancer"  
Eren grinned happily, Hanji having wrinkled her face at her own words  
"That's better. I'll see you later"

 

*  
"What's an aquarium?"  
Blinking at the simple message from Eren, he smiled to himself. Some people might wake up to a "Good Morning", but from Eren, it was almost always a question. By the looks of it, the kid had sent it at some ungodly hour when Eren should have definitely been asleep  
Levi - "Good morning to you too. It's what you keep fish in. Ack-wear-ee-um"  
Meowing at the fact his human was awake, Titan came flying up on his bed, knocking his phone from his hand as he began to meow for breakfast  
"Yes, I know. I'm a terrible person for letting you spend hours and hours foodless while I slept"  
It wasn't like the cat didn't have an auto-feeder. The kind where the biscuits sat in the plastic drum and were lowered as they disappeared from the attached bowl. Titan yowled his agreement, while Levi's phone chimed. It was still stupid o'clock in the morning. Bundling Titan under one arm, he grabbed his phone   
Eren - "How do you go on a date at one then? If it's just a tank?"  
Levi - "If it's a date, it'll be at the public aquarium. They have fish, sharks, turtles and shit"  
His phone dinged as he climbed from his bed, dropping Titan down to the floor. The kid would have to wait until he'd shat, showered and shaved.

With his morning routine taken care of, Levi settled down at his small dining table. His usual cup of tea accompanied by two slices of toast. He knew he really should care more about his diet, but cooking large meals for himself seemed like too much work. Picking up his phone, he pulled up Eren's message  
Eren - "That makes more sense. Marco took Jean there on a date to tell him he's pregnant"  
The horse-faced arsehole was going to be a father? He knew Marco was special to Eren, but his taste in alphas was awful  
Levi - "Tell him congrats from me"  
Eren - "I will. Have you been to an aquarium before?"  
Levi - "In college. Hanji's brilliant idea"  
Eren didn't reply straight away, nor had he replied by the time he'd finished his breakfast. He didn't think he'd said anything wrong, or anything that could upset Eren. Even after texting back and forth for weeks, he still got nervous when Eren didn't reply straight away. He'd told himself friends texted, but he and Eren texted off and on almost all day, if he wasn't working or exhausted. The omega seemed to just magically know when he was. The kid had so many questions about everything, yet he didn't find it annoying. Some omegas accepted their lot in lives, but Eren was striving to better educate himself.

Checking his phone when he got to work, he found Eren still hadn't replied. Throwing the device back up on the dash, he let a small sigh of annoyance. Not with Eren, instead at his own feelings of annoyance  
"Everything alright?"  
"Yeah. Maybe. I was talking to Eren, but he didn't reply"  
Erwin snorted lightly  
"Don't give me that"  
"I didn't say anything"  
"You snorted"  
"I was just thinking its unusual for you to be so focused on your phone"  
"I'm helping Eren out"  
"Oh?"  
"There's lots he doesn't know about, so he asks me what things mean"  
"Ah. Hanji said he'd been spending most of his time reading lately. He carries the book almost everywhere he goes. I suppose you're to blame?"  
"He wanted to learn to read, so I bought him a copy of "The Chronicles of Narnia", any words he doesn't understand, he messages me over"  
"So what was the word this morning?"  
"Aquarium. Jean and Marco went on a date there. The horsefaced arseholes going to be a father"  
"Marco's pregnant?"  
"Yeah. Eren asked me if I've ever been, but didn't reply when I said I had"  
"You mean when Hanji decided it would be so much fun if we got drunk and snuck in"  
"It still counts"  
"And he stopped replying?"  
"Pretty much. Nothing"  
"Maybe he wanted you to take him?"  
Levi rolled his eyes   
"Right"  
"He could have just asked Marco what he meant, but he asked you"  
"Marco probably texted him"  
"Mhmmm"  
Bringing his leg up, he kicked Erwin in the side  
"Hey! I'm trying to drive here"  
"Then don't be an arsehole"  
"I'm just saying, if you asked him, I'm sure he'd love to go with you"  
"That's too much like a date"  
"Would it be so bad? He seems to be in a better place now. He's working again. He's learning to read. He's going to therapy"  
"Working?"  
"Didn't he tell you? Hanji called me about last week. Eren's got a new job dancing again"  
No. The brat hadn't told him... Why hadn't he told him? He didn't like Eren doing such a dangerous job, but it was Eren's choice. Eren had no obligation to tell him... but it just wasn't like him  
"You really didn't know?"  
"No, but what he does is his business"  
"You're glaring again"  
Kicking Erwin again, he huffed, before drawing his leg back  
"Don't be like that. He might have just wanted to surprise you"  
"It's none of my business"  
"The way you've been attached to your phone says otherwise"  
"You're an arsehole"  
"Message him and ask him to the aquarium. I guarantee you won't regret it..."  
Eren would probably love it. The kid's eyes would go wide at the sheer number of fish, and all the colours. Shit. That'd be pretty fucking adorable  
"..and you know he's home alone until Sunday, right?"  
Moblit's mother was having surgery on her hip, Hanji and Moblit had flown out to spend the week with her  
"I'm sure Hanji and Moblit would love me hanging out with Eren, completely unsupervised"  
"You make it sound like he's their underage son"  
"He practically is. Hanji's completely smitten with him. She's got framed photos of him up on the mantle now"  
"That sounds about right for her"  
She didn't last time he was there. He would have noticed... so Erwin had been there since he had? Eren hadn't told him that... He thought they'd been getting closer, but maybe it'd all been in his head  
"You should ask him"  
"And you should shut up. I still haven't forgiven you for that shit with Petra. Do you know how stubborn Olou can be? He totally "forgot" the paperwork I needed because he was mad at me"  
"I'll take you out for drinks after work"  
"You say that, but we both know I'm the one who's going to end up paying"  
"I didn't hear you say no"  
"Whatever"

The rest of the shift passed in a haze. He couldn't stop thinking about Eren, and if he should invite him to the aquarium. He didn't want to get the omega's hopes up, or string him along. He just wanted to make the brat happy. Leaving depot, Erwin handed him his phone back, Levi having cleaned the ambulance back out completely, forgetting about the device while he did. Taking his phone back, he stuffed it into his pocket. Not even thinking Erwin would message Eren.

 

*  
Collapsing on his bed from work, Eren didn't want to move. He still needed to shower, and force himself to make something for dinner. Or was it breakfast? Without Hanji and Moblit around, the house was so much bigger. So much more quieter. He missed the pair. He missed Hanji coming in to wake him up, and having a beer with Moblit while watching TV. It was only a couple more days until they returned, and it wasn't like he'd never been on his own before. Hanji called daily to check in, reassuring him that they would be coming back. Besides, it wasn't like he couldn't talk to Levi. He'd spent the morning talking to him, until he had to go to work. Instead of just dancing, he was working as a dancer and cleaner. The club shut at 3am, then they'd clean through until around 5. He'd go home, pass out until lunch time, then back out to work at 6. The pay wasn't great, but the club was definitely cleaner than his old work place. The omegas all top class dancers, which only made him more determined. He didn't want to lose out to them. He wanted tips, and wasn't afraid to go after them... especially when none of the other dancers seemed to like him. At the old club, he'd had a few he'd look out for, but at this new club, he was the new kid and knew nothing. So maybe he wasn't loving work as much as he was pretending to, but only because it was all new all over again. Things would get better. Zeke wouldn't send him somewhere where he'd be hurt. At least he had the next two days off. Hearing his phone ding, he groaned as he fished it out his back pocket. Levi. Ugh. He didn't want to deal with this. He'd chickened out of asking Levi to take him to the aquarium. Marco had only told he and Jean had gone, and that Jean was excited about becoming a father. Levi said the aquarium had all fish and sharks and turtles. He'd never seen them outside of books, and fish that wasn't food. Opening Levi's message, he let out a half squeak   
Levi - "Hey, I've been thinking. Do you want to go to the aquarium?"  
Yes! Yes! YES! Wait. Was this a date? Was Levi asking him on a date? No. This couldn't be a date. Levi just wanted to show him what an aquarium actually was. He had to reply! He wanted to go!  
Eren - "I'm off tomorrow and Thursday. Do they really have sharks?"   
He couldn't imagine something so big, in the movies, contained by simple glass. It didn't make sense to him. He'd seen Deep Blue Sea! Sharks were scary! Trying not to be too disappointed at Levi's lack of reply, he buried his face into his pillow. What would he even wear? That blue shirt again? No. He couldn't wear that. And he wasn't dressing like a girl. Levi knew he wasn't a girl, and if the alpha was only interested in him when he looked like one, he didn't want to see him. That wasn't fair. Levi wasn't like that. Even after sleeping with him, he didn't treat him like a conquest. He felt genuinely bad, and truly wanted to form a friendship. If Marco was his best omega friend, then Levi was his alpha friend. Hanji was more like a mum or a sister, and Moblit like a father. Zeke was his brother and family, and he didn't know if he could be best friends with his brother.

Levi didn't message back until after Eren had forced himself to shower and eat. Loneliness setting in as TV failed to entertain him. Sitting on the sofa, he stared down at Levi's message  
Levi - "Shitty Eyebrows took my phone. So you want to go the aquarium? Are you a rainbow fish, Because you light up the world with colour"  
He wasn't completely sure what to say... rainbow fish didn't sound like a real thing, but this had to be a compliment right?! He didn't know any fish like pick-up lines... fish weren't even sexy. He'd never been fishing either  
Levi - "Relax brat. It was just a joke. We can go Thursday"  
Ok. This he could work with  
Eren - "I've never been. Is there anything I need to bring or wear?"  
That sounded alright. Yeah...  
Levi - "No. I'll pick you up at 9, be ready"  
Eren bit his bottom lip. He needed to set an alarm. And he needed to get his money so he could pay Levi back. Should he make something for lunch? Could they buy lunch there? Did they serve food that wasn't fish? He could ask Marco, but he and Jean were all loved up over their baby. He didn't want to disturb them  
Eren - "Ok. I'm looking forward to it"  
He was going to the aquarium with Levi! Yes! Something was going right! Placing his phone back down, he snatched it back up all over again when it pinged  
Levi - "This is Erwin. Levi's a little drunk, so I'm turning his phone off now. He'll see you Thursday"  
Was all of this Erwin? Or Levi? Erwin didn't call him brat. No, Levi was just hanging out with Erwin. No need to over think things. He was going to the aquarium with Levi...

 

*  
Wednesday took forever to pass, Thursday morning, however, time seem to pass way too fast. Having showered and carefully dressed, Eren was barely ready by 9. His outfit consisting of black skinny jeans, a black collared shirt and black sneakers. All of which hugged his frame nicely. He'd thought about wearing a beanie, but it just wouldn't sit right. He wanted too look nice for Levi, because he was probably going to make a fool of himself by asking Levi a million questions. Triple checking he had his phone, keys, wallet and the money to pay back Levi, he thought himself on top of his nerves until Levi knocked on the door. His knees feeling like they were ready to give way at any moment. Taking the steps carefully, he straightened himself out again, before striding over to the door.

"Hey brat. Ready to go"  
Levi looked hot. The shorter man dressed in black, his hair messy, but neat at the same time  
"You with me?"  
Blushing slightly, Eren cleared his throat   
"Um... yes. Sorry. I'm really nervous"  
Levi snorted, making Eren's heart skip. He was completely fucked. The smile on the man's face looked so natural  
"You don't need to be nervous"  
"Right. I guess we should go?"  
Turning on the alarm, Eren locked the door from the inside and pulled the door closed behind him. He'd been talking to Levi by text for so long. He shouldn't be this nervous  
"Brat, you need to relax. You look like you're about to shit yourself"  
"Maybe I am?"  
"Are you?"  
"No. Are there really sharks at the aquarium?"  
"Is that what's worrying you?"  
"I don't get how there can be sharks"  
"Evolution"  
"What?"  
"Never mind"  
Reaching Levi's car, the alpha opened the passenger side door for him. Eren mumbling his thanks as he slid into the car. Taking a deep breath, Levi's calming scent easing his nerves, while reminding him that this was the very car they'd had sex in. Fuck. No. He couldn't go there. For some stupid reason Levi could smell the changes in his messed up scent. He couldn't afford to think of anything remotely dirty. Even if the man looked hot. Closing the door, Levi rounded the car and climbed up behind the wheel  
"It's a half hour drive, is that ok?"  
"Y-yes"  
His reply came out as a kind of strangled squeak. Hiding his face his hands, he wanted to go back to bed and start the day all over again  
"Eren, if you don't want to go. We can call this whole thing off"  
"No. I want to go. I'm just... you look hot"  
Starting the car, Levi nodded, indicating before pulling away from the curb  
"I know. You look pretty good too"  
"Thanks... I really didn't know what to wear"  
"What you've got on is just fine"  
"I'm sorry I'm so bad at this. I've never been anywhere really"  
"I already figured as much. Trust me, there's going to be shitty brats running around the place, so even if you fall on your face, no ones going to notice"  
"That's not what I'm worried about"  
"What are you worried about, then?"  
"That I'm going to embarrass you"  
Levi gave a small laugh  
"It's fine. What's it like having the house to yourself?"  
He was making Levi laugh, but had he said something wrong? The alpha had just suddenly changed the topic   
"Quiet. It's weird"  
"Hanji and Moblit come back on Sunday, right?"  
"Yeah. I hope they don't mind I've been eating their food"  
"Brat, they're probably not even going to nice"  
"I don't know if you're encouraging me to eat more, or to lie about what I've eaten"  
"Both. But if you're really worried, we can go shopping after we've been to the aquarium"  
"Won't I be taking up enough of your time?"  
"You're fine"  
Shaking his head, he took a deep breath and sat up  
"I think I want to get my hair cut. It's getting a bit insane"  
"I didn't like to say anything, buuut..."  
"I wonder if I should get it cut like yours"  
"What would your boss think?"  
His stomach rolled. He didn't want to think about what his boss would think, or the other dancers  
"Maybe not"  
"You're not enjoying work?"  
"Works fine. I get to dance, so that's alright"  
"Have you ever had lessons or anything?"  
"No. Zeke showed me some videos online, but that's about it. Can you dance?"  
"Nobody wants to see that shit"  
He did. He'd love to see if Levi could dance. He secretly bet he could. He had a nice frame already. His arms were strong, with long lean muscles rather than having those bulky weird muscles that made his head look like an after thought   
"I think you'd look nice"  
"Don't go picturing me in those gold booty-shorts of yours, because that's never going to happen"  
"I don't even have them anymore"  
"Such a shame"  
Was that sarcasm? He couldn't tell  
"Relax. It's a joke"  
"They were nicer than some of the things I've worn"  
"I bet they were"  
As silence fell between them, Eren started to panic. He wanted today to go perfectly   
"So..."  
"How..."  
Their words overlapped  
"You go"  
"It's ok. I was just going to ask how work was, for you?"  
Levi nodded  
"Long... somedays good, some shit"  
"Is that why you were drinking with Erwin?"  
Levi didn't reply straight away, Eren cursing himself   
"Um... sorry, it's none of my business"  
"It's fine. You don't need to keep apologising for everything"  
"I just really want today to go well, but I keep putting my foot in it"  
"You don't, and it will. I was drinking with Erwin because he got me in the shit with Petra"  
Eren wrinkled his face, knowing he knew the name   
"You met her that day Hanji dropped you off"  
"Oooh. She's like short and strawberry blonde right?"  
"Yeah. She's got an annoying habit of finding me, even when I don't want to be found"  
Eren's heart dropped a little   
"She likes you"  
"I told her I'm gay, but she never listens. Couldn't you just try and be with me? How do you know you're gay?"  
"That's not very nice. You should accept people for how they are"  
"Unfortunately the world doesn't work that way"  
"I know... people usually think male omegas are wrong or gross. It's not like we asked to present this way"  
"Everyone thought I was going to present as omega"  
"What? No way..."  
"It's because I'm short for an alpha"  
"So? That's like saying I should be an alpha because I'm stupidly tall. You can't control these things"  
"I think you're fine the way you are"  
Eren's heart couldn't take it. Not another compliment so soon  
"Eren?"  
"You're like... pretty... I mean fine, uh, good too"  
English. Great. Speak. Well. Not. Fucking shoot him. Laughing, Levi wiped a fake tear from his eye  
"Brat. I think that's the best compliment I've ever been given"  
"It's your fault. I can't talk properly when I'm around you"  
"Do we need to go back to texting?"  
"You shouldn't text and drive"  
"Most young people would disagree"  
"Then they're idiots"  
"They are. And it's never just them that gets hurt if there's an accident. There's their family. Friends. People who are involved in the crash and the friends and family of them too. Everyone always says it won't happen to them, yet they get all shitty when it does"  
"Life's more valuable than that. No one realises how lucky they are to be alive. All it takes is for a moment and you're gone"  
Shit. He'd let that slip out  
"You sound like you learnt that the hard way"  
"I don't want to talk about it"  
"I didn't mean too..."  
"I know. It's just..."  
"Eren, you don't need to explain. Why don't we talk about something nicer? Like, how are you going with your reading?"  
"I finished the first book..."  
"That's awesome"  
"It is?"  
"Did you understand most of it?"  
"Only because you helped... I thought maybe you'd be mad because it took me so long"  
"How can I be mad?"  
"It's taken months"  
"So? Do you know more words and sounds than when you started?"  
Eren ducked his head, not sure where Levi was going with this  
"Yes"  
"Then what's the problem? You're learning, and you're getting through it. Do you like the story?"  
"I don't know how they go together yet, so don't tell me. Lucy is kind of annoying though"  
"I won't tell you"  
"Good. I don't know if I'd like to be able to travel between worlds"  
"Isn't that something kids would jump at?"  
"I'm not a kid"  
"I didn't mean it like that"  
"I know. Still, I don't think I'd like to. Keeping up with everything here is bad enough. Keeping up with another world seems like even more work"  
"You miss the days of doing nothing?"  
"No. That's not what I mean either. Besides. What's to say if you go through, that you won't walk into something even worse?"  
"That's true. Has Hanji tried to make you watch the movies?"  
"I don't want to. I don't want to know what's coming"  
"The movies are never as good as the books"  
"You can imagine all the characters in your head when you read the books, but when you see the movie, it ruins all that. It's like forcing you to accept things that way"  
"That's a pretty mature approach to take"  
"Is it? I don't know. People usually tell me I'm weird and what I say is weird"  
The people at work...  
"Those people are wrong"  
"I probably am"  
"Being normal is overrated"  
"Is that coming from your years of experience?"  
"Pretty much. I'm an alpha who lives alone with his cat. It's not exactly the normal alpha package"  
"Normal alphas are arseholes"  
"I can't deny that"  
"I didn't even think there could be nice alphas until Zeke came along. And didn't think I'd actually have friends who are alphas"  
"You seem to be doing better"  
"When you're not talking me through a panic attack, you mean"  
"Eren, you can't control these things and it's ok"  
"It makes me feel stupid"  
"You're not stupid"  
"I feel it"  
"You're not"  
"If you say so"  
"I do. So if we're not going to talk about Lucy, what are you looking forward to most at the aquarium?"  
"I want to see the turtles"  
"Turtles"  
"Yeah. They're all small and cute"  
"You do know they grow up"  
"They're still small and cute"  
"That's like saying Titan is small and cute"  
"He is"  
"We both know he's not"  
"He is when compared to an elephant"  
"Most things are"  
"He still is. I've never got to play with a cat before. He was so soft and fluffy"  
"He's a greedy little shit. Almost all cats are. They act all sweet, but what they really want is food and to know they can walk all over you"  
"I don't care. I still like him"

Shinganshima didn't have an ocean, so part of the river had been turned into a dam. Shinganshima Maritime Aquarium backed onto it, or so Levi said. The place was massive. Painted in a deep blue, with a long whale stretching out under the gold letters proclaiming its name. With a lack of parking bays, Levi ended up parking towards the back of the lot, but Eren didn't care. Their conversation had taken up nearly the whole ride, until they'd crossed the bridge and his attention had been caught by how much water there was   
"Are you ready?"  
"Yep! Oh, hang on"  
Grabbing out the neatly folded piece of paper he'd folded into a kind of envelope, he passed it over to Levi   
"What's this?"  
"Um. I wanted to pay you back"  
Frowning as he opened the package, Levi shook his head  
"Do I want to know how much this is?"  
"$500"  
"Eren, you can't just go around with five hundred dollars on you"  
"But I wanted to pay you back"  
"It's a lot of cash to be carrying around. Did you get this from work?"  
"From before Hanji took me in"  
"When you were with Zeke?"  
"Yeah. I saved up my pay because I didn't have a bank account. Zeke gave it back to me"  
"You still shouldn't carry this much around and you didn't have to rush to pay it back"  
"I've had the money for a while. I just haven't had the chance to give it to you"  
"You could have used it"  
"I haven't needed to"  
He didn't get what the big deal was. He could now buy what he needed, and it wasn't like he didn't still have almost everything he'd bought when shopping with Levi. Levi still looked annoyed. Reaching over, he opened the glove compartment, placing the money inside and locking it with his car key, before going about climbing out the car without saying anything. It was hard not be hurt by his actions when he still couldn't work out how paying Levi back was bad. Maybe he didn't like the fact he was dancer? It wasn't like he'd slept with anyone for money. Some of the other dancers did, but it just wasn't for him. Even so. It was his body to do with what he wanted. Trailing behind Levi, he wanted to ask the alpha to slow down. He wanted to take everything in, but by the way Levi was striding towards the ramp that lead up to the front door, it was more like the alpha wanted to get things over and done with. Confused and anxious, he tripped on his own feet. Starting to cry from the shock of it like a child might. Finally stopping, Levi noticed him kneeling on the ground. Jogging back to him, the alpha squatted down  
"What happened? Did you trip?"  
He didn't want to be crying. He was inconveniencing Levi. Today was supposed to be a good day  
"Hey, come on. You're alright. Take a few deep breaths, then we'll stand you up"  
"I made you mad"  
Levi drew his brow  
"What?"  
"This. All of this was stupid! You didn't want to come with me, and you're mad at me. Why do I always have to fuck things up?"  
"What makes you think I'm mad at you?"  
"You just walked off! You got out of the car and walked off..."  
"Sorry. I thought you'd want to get in there as soon as possible"  
"You didn't even wait for me. I haven't been here before. I don't know what to do or where to go"  
"You're right. I wasn't thinking. Did you hurt yourself when you tripped?"  
"N-no..."  
"Here, how about we get you standing now? I'm not mad. I just didn't think"  
Taking his hand, Levi pulled him up to his feet. His knees were definitely protesting, and he'd probably skinned them. But he was still scared that Levi was actually angry, so didn't dare tell him. Wiping at his face with his left hand, he felt so stupid  
"Are you ready?"  
Nodding, he didn't even realise Levi was still holding him hand as the man fell into step beside him. They were still holding hands right up until they reached the ramp. Eren blushing as Levi pulled his hand away, mumbling an awkward apology before letting him walk in front of him. The hand rail for the ramp was really kind of cool. Each spot where the brackets came out was shaped like an octopus, their long legs reaching and joining to the next octopus about halfway between the brackets. At the bottom of the rendered brickwork were cartoony sea creatures. He would have taken a photo of it, but now just wanted to get inside.

 

*  
Levi felt like a dick. He hadn't meant to brush Eren off, but after being give $500 from the omega like it was nothing, he was slightly annoyed. Part of him had hoped Eren had forgotten all about the loan, while another part wondered if Eren was lying about where the money came from. It wasn't hard to believe Zeke gave him the cash to keep him preoccupied, or to hold. Yet Eren insisted it was his money. He didn't want to doubt the kid, so pissed off at himself over the fact his mind was so willing to go there. Annoyed, he'd begun towards the aquarium without even thinking, only realising Eren was beside him when heard him starting to panic. Jogging the few steps back to Eren, he cursed himself. The omega was riddled with nerves and anxieties, and this was probably a really big things for him. He'd have to try so much fucking harder than normal, because he'd fucked up and made the one person in the whole world he didn't want to cry, feel like he was stupid and unwanted. Taking his hand, he didn't want to let it go, conscious of how warm and soft it felt in his own. It wasn't until the reached the stairs that Eren seemed to realise, the omega looking confused as he mumbled an apology. He wasn't like Erwin. He didn't know how to date someone, or how to even hold hands properly. He was awkward and short, with a shitty temper and love for a brat that was 15 years his junior.

Reaching the top of the ramp, Eren's eyes were trying to take in everything, while all he could see was the teen. They hadn't even walked through the glass doors yet! How could someone be so fucking pure after going through so much shit  
"Ready?"  
"Yep! I want to see all the fishes!"  
Levi couldn't help but snort, Eren sounded like a little kid  
"The plural of fish, is just fish"  
"What?"  
"Yep"  
"Why?"  
"I didn't make the rules"  
"Ugh. Why is English so hard?"  
"Because the English just took what they wanted and didn't care about those who'd follow"  
"If you say so"  
"It's a joke"  
"It's not funny"  
A shy smile played on Eren's lips  
"I'm sorry for walking so far ahead"  
"It's ok..."  
"It's not. I'm not mad. Maybe a little nervous, but I'm not mad at you"  
"You're nervous?"  
"Of course I am. I've none done this before"  
"Done what?"  
"Taken a brat to an aquarium"  
"I've never been to one, you could pretty much say anything and I'd believe it"  
"I wouldn't do that to you"  
"I know you wouldn't. I think we need to go through the doors?"  
"Smart-arse"

Stepping forwards, the doors slip open with a slight jolt at the ends. The inside was decorated with shades of blues, vertical tanks running up the walls on each side of the front desk. Taking Eren by the hand, purely so he couldn't wander away, Levi led him over to the counter where a tallish blonde man was standing, his name tag reading Armin  
"Welcome to Shinganshima Maritime Aquarium. Just the two of you today?"  
"Yeah"  
Feeling Eren trying to escape, he tugged lightly, bringing the omega back to his side  
"So that's two adults, no concessions... neither of you are under 21, right?"  
"Um... why?"  
"Don't ask me why, but everyone between 16 and 21 falls into our middle pricing group. To be honest, I'm actually still kind of new here"  
"It's fine"  
"Levi, if it means you save money..."  
"Eren, it's fine"  
"It's not fine"  
Stubbornly, and one handedly the omega fished out his wallet and ID, sliding it across the desk to Armin. For a moment, he swore the guys widened as he frowned, but in a flash he was back to smiling   
"With your discount, that will be $43.30. How will you be paying today?"  
"Cash"  
Pulling his own wallet out, Levi fished out a $50. It would have been so much easier if he let go of Eren's hand, but he really didn't want to. He liked Eren, and though not courting or in any kind of relationship, he wanted to keep him close so other alphas wouldn't be tempted by the beautiful brat. Ringing up their tickets, Armin handed them over with their change   
"Just follow the orange arrows through to the first enclosure. Have a good day"  
Brightly Eren smiled at Armin, not knowing how jealous it made Levi's alpha  
"Thank you!"

With the tickets and his change tucked away in his wallet, he pulled Eren towards the orange arrows painted on the carpet  
"I'm so excited"  
"I noticed"  
Placing his hand on Levi's arm, Eren squeezed his hand as the tunnel they were walking through darkened. On each side there were small illuminated signs, but the omegas eyes were straight ahead, and the signs really weren't that interesting.

Emerging in the walk through tank area, Eren let out a small squeak as large stingray passed over the top of their heads, stepping onto the escalator that ran a loop around the room, the omega was half hiding behind him  
"What the fuck is that?"  
"It's a stingray"  
"It's fucking massive..."  
Eren's sentence tapered off as a school of blue fish passed by the glass they were next to, peering around him to watch the school swim away  
"Wow..."  
Shit. Eren had no idea how adorable he looked, and they'd only just started their adventure. He couldn't help but smile fondly as Eren darted back behind him  
"Is that a fucking shark?!"  
Earning a glare from the mothers a little way in front of them, Levi snorted  
"It's just a shark"  
"How come it doesn't eat everything in there? How come the glass doesn't cave in?"  
"Probably because they feed them, and the glass is a special kind, so it doesn't break"  
"That's so cool... look, it's another kind of shark"  
The smaller shark had two fish attached to its bottom? whatever the underside was called   
"It sure is"  
"This is so cool"  
Doing the round trip, Eren loosened up, staring up in wonder and fascination as he tried to take everything in at once. Stepping off at the next corridor opening, the omega pulled him along to look at the tanks embedded in the walls  
"How come there's so many colours?"  
"There's some things I can answer"  
"Ok. But look at them. Wow... I've never even seen real fish"  
"You've never been in a pet shop?"  
"Zeke doesn't like animals"  
Levi couldn't help but frown at that. Just because he didn't like animals, didn't mean Eren should have to go without  
"Look at these ones, they look like Nemo"  
"They're called Clown Fish"  
"They're so cute! I wonder if..."  
Eren let out yet another squeak as he found the Royal Blue Tangs, as the sign said   
"It's Dory!"  
"Do you know what their name is?"  
Leaning back, Eren peered at the sign  
"Royal Blue... Tangs. That means Dory is a Royal Blue Tang!"  
"Yep"  
The kid looked so fucking proud of himself   
"Oh wow! What are these ones?"  
"They're seahorses"  
"They're so tiny. Look at them, they look like grass... and look at their tiny bellies! They all look pregnant. Oh, I should take a photo and send it to Marco. This is so him in the future"  
"They are rather cute"  
"Yep! I'm probably never going to have kids, but that doesn't mean I can't tease Marco over it all"  
Why did Eren think he wasn't going to have kids? The omega would make a beautiful mother, so fierce and protective of his pups... he was going to ask, but was distracted by Eren naming all the sea horses in the tank after people he knew.

Lead around to each tank, Eren's scent was so happy, and unlike the shitty kids near them, the omega didn't even think about tapping on the glass. Levi's heart really couldn't take this. He wanted to pull Eren close and kiss him each time his eyes lit up, which would have resulted in a hell of a lot of kissing.

At the end of the corridor, the room opened into a massive space. A whole whale skeleton suspended from the ceiling   
"What's that?! It's huge. It has to be a whale right?"  
"Yep"  
"How do they get so big? How do they move under water?"  
"Do you want me to take a photo of you in front of it?!"  
"You'd do that?"  
"Eren, you can take as many photos as you want, just as long as you don't use the flash on your phone"  
Rushing to get his phone out, he fumbled it into Levi's hand, as he released his hold. For a moment, Levi regretted telling him anything, but Eren confidently strode up to near the rope preventing people from getting too close. Walking over, he opened Eren's camera, lining up the shot as the omegas looked ready to burst from excitement   
"Levi... hurry up!"  
"Hold on, or don't you want a photo?"  
Making sure to get the whole skeleton in, he got a couple like that, before narrowing it down to a few of just Eren on his own. He wanted the kid to see how adorable and entranced he looked   
"Levi?"  
"Done"  
"Now you have to pose"  
"What? Why?"  
"Because I want photos of you. I mean, I want photos of us both here. No matter what, I want to remember this"  
Forced to trade places, Eren happily shooed him off to pose. Thankfully it wasn't long before the octopi caught Eren's attention, and he was forced to job over to catch up  
"Look at them. Do you think they're slimy?"  
"I would say so? I don't know, but they look revolting"  
They looked like a pile of moving snot with snotty legs, or an untreated infection that had given up and walked away from its host. Whatever it was, it made him want to wash his hands   
"He's adorable. He? They? It's? It's adorable"  
Knowing he could take photos now, Eren took photos absolutely everything he could in the room, even the shitty bits of wood they liked to call a shipwreck. Slowly they worked their way around the room, where Eren even seemed to be interested in things that weren't sea life. There were different displays on waves, sand dunes, money, cannons, and treasures recovered from the coast of Paradis. When it came to the remains of humans killed during a mutiny, Eren's scent changed completely. It filled with so much sadness, he had to gently guide Eren away. He wanted to reach out and ask Eren what had upset him so much, but didn't want the omega falling further into his thoughts. There was a shitty ship's wheel, oar and small row boat, which he made sure to take photos of as Eren was still spacey. The omega wanted photos of everything, and he didn't want him to miss out.

When they reached the start of a new line of tanks, Eren perked back up. Levi couldn't help but snap another photo as the omega wrinkled his face up at a large white catfish  
"You look the same"  
"Really? I think it looks like you"  
"Are you saying I'm ugly?"  
"But in a cute way"  
Poking tongue out, Eren moved to the next tank. So Eren thought he was cute? He could live with that. Continuing on, they finally came to touch pool he'd been waiting for. Eren gasping this time   
"You mean we actually touch stuff?"  
"You need to rinse your hands first, the sign says so"  
"But we can touch it?"  
"If you wash your hands"  
Bounding over to the basin against the wall, Eren rinsed his hands like the sign said, before coming back to the touch pool   
"You're really going to do it?"  
"Why not?"  
"Do you know how many people put their hands in there?"  
"And how many people get to say they've touched a shark and survived?"  
The tiny sharks weren't even a rulers length long  
"Go ahead"  
"You're not going to?"  
"I'll stick to taking photos"  
He didn't want to think about dirty hands and peeled bandaids... and fish faeces. The whole tank was just a whole lot of nope! Carefully sliding his hand into the water, Eren's eyes sparkled as his head shot up  
"I'm touching a shark!"  
"Yep"  
"This is like... the best day ever!"  
Taking photos of everything, he watched as Eren was super careful towards the collections of sea creatures in the tank. It didn't matter what it was, he only touched for a few brief seconds, even when he finally got to touch the one small turtle in there. Beaming at the world, Eren washed his hands again after touching everything, using the soap dispenser this time. Walking back to his side, Eren threw his arms around him  
"Thank you! This... all of this is just so amazing"  
"There's more"  
"More?"  
"We still haven't headed outside yet"  
"But... what?"  
"Come on, brat"  
"I can't believe there's more"  
Ending their hug, Eren took his hand again. Levi unable to care about the fact Eren's hand was still wet. He felt like the dopiest and shittiest idiot because of the fucking smile that refused to get the off his face.

Heading outside, the white Mediterranean themed veranda over looked the dam. Despite being so far from the ocean, Silver Gulls squawked and looped over head. Pulling him forward, Eren eyed a mediumish sized replica of a Silver Gull  
"What is that? And why is it so red?"  
Levi snorted  
"This one I actually do know. It's called a Silver Gull, or a Sea Gull. When they reach sexual maturity, their legs and beak turn red"  
"How do you know that?"  
"I once had a friend who liked birds. She said they put on their bright red stocking and lipstick, then hit up the town"  
Eren giggled  
"I don't think I want to imagine a bird in drag"  
"Neither do I. I give them points for trying, but they've got nothing on you"  
"Levi! Be nice"  
"I am. It's not my fault you and Marco dressed up as girls"  
"That was all Marco's idea. It's not our fault we look so fucking good"  
"I think I prefer you like this"  
Eren's smile grew even wider  
"I like being a boy better. The customers all treat us like girls, or like we're weak. They get mad because they don't get to touch"  
"You're definitely not weak. I'm honestly kind of surprised you went back to dancing"  
"I love it. Things might not be great, but it makes me feel good. Knowing they can't touch me"  
Well fuck. Right now Levi wanted to touch the fuck out of him. Walking over to the statue of a Pacific Gull, Eren shook his head  
"Birds are fucking weird"  
"You don't like birds?"  
"I'm... jealous? I mean, they can fly wherever they want. The get to see all these amazing things from up there. They're so nice to watch, but I don't think I want to touch one"  
"Why not?"  
"Because you get those tiny ones. How are you even supposed to touch them without hurting them? And pigeons shit on like everything. I don't want to be shat on"  
"So you like birds?"  
"Yes, I like birds. I'm just a little scared and don't you dare give me that look"  
"I'm not giving you any look"  
"Sure. It's still really pretty out here. I made a promise with a friend when I was little we'd see the ocean. I don't even remember them, or what they looked like. I just remember the words"  
"Does it upset you? Not being able to remember?"  
"I'm not the same person I was back then, are they're probably not either. Anyway, it's depressing. Do you think the ocean looks like this dam?"  
"I think it's a big sandy mess"  
"Probably. I still want to go one day"  
The moment just seemed right. Stepping up behind Eren, he wrapped his arms around the omega. Eren letting out a soft laugh as he leant his head back   
"Thank you. Today's been amazing"  
"Yeah. Last time I was here, we were drunk and snuck in. It was no where near as fun as today"  
"I can't really imagine you being drunk"  
"Is it that weird?"  
"No. You're just so level headed"  
"Is that the polite way of saying I'm a constipated arsehole?"  
"You're never going to let me live that down, are you?"  
"No. This place has a cafe, do you want to grab some lunch?"  
"Mmm. Can we sit out here?"  
"I don't see why not"  
Kissing him on the cheek, Eren wriggled his way out his hold. Levi momentarily shocked over what had happened. Life wasn't this perfect. Things didn't go this well. This had to be some kind of dream.

With so many people and so many words on the menu, Eren shyly said he'd wait outside. Wanting to spoil the kid, but also knowing he eating issues he opted to grab Eren a juice, as well as a salad, a fisherman's basket consisting of fish, prawns, crab sticks and chips, and finally a small serving of nachos. He might have gone slightly over board, but everything was served in white foam boxes, so it wasn't like they couldn't take it with them when they left. Letting the cashier know they'd be sitting outside, he took their number out to where Eren was sitting at table towards the corner of the area  
"I thought you'd want to sit in the sun?"  
"This fine. The wind isn't as bad here"  
Passing Eren his juice, the omega nodded  
"Do I want to know what you ordered?"  
"A few things. Don't worry, you don't have to eat what you don't want"  
"I hope you didn't spend too much"  
"It's fine. I asked you out"  
"Can I confess something?"  
Sitting across from Eren, Levi opened his ice tea  
"What?"  
"I was kind of hoping you would. I wanted to ask you, but I didn't want to make things awkward or weird"  
"Have they been?"  
"No. Maybe a little at the beginning, but all this has been..."  
Eren trailed off, Levi knowing exactly which word he was going to use  
"Amazing?"  
"Yeah. I'm really happy we're here together"  
"That's the main thing. How are your knees?"  
"They're fine"  
"Really?"  
"They're a little sore, but it's nothing major. Anyway, you said there was more to this place?"  
"Yeah. You're going to have to wait and see though. I was only here that one time before, so I could be remembering wrong"  
"I don't mind if you do. Or have"  
"You're giving me permission to forget?"  
Eren laughed  
"No! I said it before, you could pretty much say anything and I'd believe you"  
"You have too much faith in me"  
"I don't think so. You're a good alpha... I know that"  
Opening his juice, Eren took a small sip. Levi didn't know what to say again... so they fell into silence until lunch was delivered.

With their lunch sitting in front of them, Eren looked a little confused  
"What's wrong?"  
"There's so much"  
"I wanted to get a few things to try with you"  
"I know what the salad is, and the fish and chips, but the stuff on the end I'm not so sure about"  
"Hanji hasn't introduced you to nachos?"  
"No?"  
"The green stuff of spring onion. The white stuff is sour cream, under that you've got cheese, then mild salsa, followed by corn chips. I only got a small serving, so you could try it"  
"I think I want to try them first"  
"Nothing's stopping you"  
Eren looked incredibly awkward as he pulled a corn chip from the bottom, carefully making sure he had a little of everything, he leaned in as he took his first bite. Realising he was the cause of the omega's anxiety, he went about separating a small pile of chips for himself   
"It's... good. I can't imagine it's healthy"  
"It's not terribly, but don't think about it"  
"Today's about fun, right?"  
"Exactly. Would you get mad if I used some of the chips in the sour cream?"  
"Eren, you could pretty much start eating like a pig and I wouldn't get mad at you"  
"I would. I mean, I'd get mad at me. It took me ages to choose what to wear today. But then again, I do my own washing, so I suppose it's ok?"  
"Don't make a mess"  
Eren poked his tongue out, cream still coating his tongue and sending Levi's thoughts elsewhere  
"I won't"

Eren ate more than he thought the kid would, but not nearly as much as Levi did. The alpha finishing off the nachos, left over seafood and enough of the salad to be ok with binning it. Recharged by lunch, Eren was bouncing in his seat, already looking around the terraced area   
"I take it you're ready to finish up?"  
"Yep! We should take selfies though"  
"Selfies?"  
"Yeah. I was thinking that we haven't got any photos of us together"  
Not waiting for his consent, Eren got up and rushed around the table, sitting next to him as he whipped out his phone   
"Only you would be crazy enough to want photos with me"  
"Shut up. Besides, I want to show Thomas"  
"Thomas?"  
"My therapist. Now smile"  
Glaring at the camera, Eren snorted as he took the selfie  
"I told you to smile"  
"I am?"  
"You're glaring"  
Elbowing him lightly, Eren the rested his head against Levi's shoulder. Obliging the omega, he smiled this time   
"This one looks nice"  
"You look nice"  
"Today was a really good day"  
"Yeah"  
Raising his head, Eren kissed his cheek as he snapped another photo, turning to kiss the brat, he ended up kissing Eren's forehead, the omega letting out a shaky breath  
"Levi, is this what a date's like?"  
"I would say so"  
"I think I like dating?"  
"We're not dating"  
"No, but I don't want to date anyone else"  
Wrapping his arm around Eren's waist, he leaned in and managed to actually kiss Eren's lips this time. A small thrill filled him when Eren didn't pull away. Sharing the tiny kiss, the omega blushed when it ended  
"I still really like you..."  
He could hear the "but" coming  
"But I don't think I'm ready for much more than this right now. More than kissing I mean"  
"That's ok"  
"Then... can I kiss you again?"  
Sharing another soft kiss, Eren whined as he broke it and hid his face against against Levi's shoulder   
"Eren?"  
"I don't want to lead you on, or make things weird"  
"You're not. You're a wonderful omega, and I'm proud of all the progress you've made. The last thing I want to do is make you feel rushed or pressured"  
"I know. That's what makes you such a good alpha. You're always so patient and kind. Even when you get cranky"  
"I don't get that cranky"  
"Not with me, usually"  
"This doesn't have to mean any more than it does"  
"What if I want it to?"  
"Then I'd tell you think about it"  
"I have. A lot. I like this. I like talking to you and spending time with you... I think I want to do it more often? I mean, if I'm not annoying you, or getting in your way. Because we both have work, and I have therapy, and I'm still trying to work on myself"  
"Why don't we just see how things go? We talk everyday, anyway"  
"That's because you're so patient"  
"Only for you"  
The blush on Eren's face was soft, his eyes wide and enquiring as he looked into Levi's   
"I'm not ready for sex"  
"That's fine. We're both going to have our good days and our bad days, but we'll keep working through it together"  
Eren hummed softly, his hand sliding down to take Levi's   
"I feel, um, maybe a bit more, um... hopeful"  
"Good"

Down the stairs at the end of the veranda, was a walkway that looped back under the area. Eren promptly ran from his side to look through the glass and into the dam  
"What's supposed to be in here?"  
"I'm not sure, the last time I was here, the dam was actually used for rehabilitation"  
"So, injured animals?"  
"Other than being a public aquarium and museum, it also does a number of research projects"  
"That's so cool"  
The area now seemed more like a rest stop outside of the sun, leaning in, Eren's eyes narrowed   
"There's fish in there"  
"Fish in the water?"  
Giving an exaggerated sigh, Eren turned to face him   
"You're not funny"  
"Really?"  
"Maybe a little"  
"There might be plenty of fish in the sea, but I'm hooked on you"  
The omega groaned  
"I don't even know anything about fishing and I know that's awful"  
"I know another one, but I don't know if you'll hit me for it, or not?"  
"Now you have to tell me"  
"Ready?..."  
Eren nodded  
"... You're like a prized fish. Now that I've caught you, I want to take you home and mount you"  
Eren howled with laughter  
"Oh my god! Trust an alpha to say that! Oh, that's terrible..."  
"Nearly as good as your terrible pick-up lines"  
"My brain defaults to random shit when I can't think"  
"A glass to the side will do that"  
"It wasn't just that... it was you, and Hanji. Both of you just rushed over like it was the most natural thing in the world"  
"It's kind of our job"  
"But... I could never do anything like that"  
"I couldn't dance in front of a room full of people"  
"It's fun... and it's not the worse job in the world"  
"I suppose not"

At the lack of anything overly interesting in the dam, they walked back up, walking through the side of the cafe and into the gift shop   
"Wow..."  
"You can't buy everything"  
"Probably not... but I want to buy you something, so go away, but not too far"  
"You don't need to buy me something"  
"I want to. We should pick something up for Hanji and Moblit too"  
They'd been so close before falling into the tourist trap. The prices were always verging on ridiculous. Still, Eren was excited, so he kept his mouth shut. 

Not allowed to see what he was being gifted, Eren paid for his purchases before rejoining him over near the glass works display   
"Did you find anything?"  
"I was looking at the shot glasses, you know what Hanji's like"  
"I like the dolphin. But the fish thing is cool too"  
"The paperweight?"  
"Is that what the big ball thing is?"  
"Yeah. It's for holding papers down"  
"I guessed that much. And if Hanji falls pregnant soon, she's not going to be able to drink"  
"That's true"  
"I think maybe just the set of two normal glasses? The ones that say Shinganshima?"  
The design printed on them was the same whale as painted on the front of the building. They were actually tumblers, but that was just being picky  
"Alright. But you have to go away"  
"What? Why?"  
"So I can get you something"  
Eren rolled his eyes  
"You brought me here. That's like way more than enough"  
"Nope. Go wait over where I can keep an eye on you"  
"Levi, you don't need to get me anything"  
"Not up for argument"  
Pouting, Eren dragged his feet as he went to stand near the turnstile that lead back into the main entry area. Scowling at him until he turned around, Levi snorted to himself, before realising he didn't know what to buy his? omega. Eren was his now? Well, not his. The omega owned his own body, but they'd kissed and agreed to take things slowly. Maybe jewellery? Alphas usually bought their omega courting gifts, though most of the time it was more to warn other alphas off... they weren't like that... yet... picking the pack of tumblers off the shelf, he naturally picked up the glass dolphin too. Given he'd half kept an eye on Eren, he knew he hadn't ventured near the jewellery, and trinkety things in the glass display case under the counter. Walking over, he nearly found two perfect gifts right away. A small goldy coloured cat fish on a keychain, a small gold turtle pendant with a turquoise stone in the middle of its shell, on a slim gold chain. Both. Both would be good. He didn't have to give Eren the turtle right away, where as the cat fish would probably make him laugh. Paying the $121.75 for the four items, he mentally winced. Fucking tourist scammers. Slipping the necklace into his pocket, and hid the dolphin up his shirt, he then carried the glasses and keychain over to Eren   
"All good?"  
"Yep. Here, I got you this"  
Sliding the keychain off Eren snorted  
"Nice. Very nice. Levi the angry catfish"  
Lifting it up, Eren scrunched his nose up  
"He doesn't look that angry"  
"He's kind of adorable. Thank you"  
"You're welcome. Are you ready to go?"  
"Yep. You have to wait until later for your gift"  
"I don't know if I should be nervous or not"  
"Definitely nervous"  
"Come on, brat. We still have shopping to do"  
"And a nap. I want to take a nap too"  
"You can nap all you like once we get home again"  
"Will you stay?"  
"You want me to stay?"  
"You don't have to, but I thought we could make dinner together?"  
"I'd like that. I've got work tomorrow at 4am, so I can't stay up all night"  
"I don't mind. I just want to spend more time with you"  
Fuck it. Call a priest. This was the omega he was marrying.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may have forgotten to post this on here...

Eren was so very sleepy. He'd had an incredible day at the aquarium with Levi. Followed by a new hair cut, food shopping and falling asleep in Levi's car. He'd never had a day this good. Levi had been so patient with him at the aquarium, casually holding his hand, or kissing him, or holding him close. It was like a real date, and they'd decided to see each other more. Too sleepy from his nap, he let Levi guide him into the living room of Hanji's home, where the alpha gently sat him down on the sofa, Flopping back, he held on to the bag from the aquarium as he didn't want Levi peaking inside  
"I'll bring the shopping in"  
"Mmmm. Sorry I'm so sleepy"  
"You had a big day"  
"I had the best day"  
He didn't want to doze back off, but his eyes drifted closed on their own.

The next time he woke, dinner was sitting on the coffee table, while Levi was busy doing something on his phone. Yawning, he rubbed his eyes before stretching  
"Did you have a good nap?"  
"Yeah. You could have woken me"  
"It's fine. I hope you're not too disappointed with sandwiches for dinner"  
"No, they look great. How long was I out for?"  
"It's nearly 7"  
Levi had work the next day at 4, so the alpha probably had to head home soon... except, he really didn't want Levi to leave. Looking down into the bag on his lap, he reached in and pulled out a stuffed shark  
"Here"  
Passing the toy over to Levi, the alpha snorted   
"I wanted to get you a stingray, but they didn't have any... 'cause, you know, the first thing we saw was that massive stingray passing over us"  
"You didn't need to get me anything"  
"I did. You have no idea how fun today was. I didn't have to think. I didn't have to pretend to be happy or ignore shitty alphas"  
Placing the shark on the arm of the sofa, Levi reached his arm out, making space for Eren to scoot closer. A happy purr coming from his lips as he curled into the alphas side  
"Your putting"  
"I'm happy"  
"Good. It suits you"  
"Um... I'm not ready to tell you some things, but I want to. Just... just when I've figured them out"  
"You don't need to rush yourself"  
"I've... never had anyone I could tell. Other than Zeke. Hanji knows a tiny bit, but somedays it's really hard to breathe"  
Rubbing his shoulder, Levi nuzzled into his hair   
"There's no rush"  
"Thanks. I got you something else, but it can wait for now"  
"You need to eat"  
"I've eaten sooo much today"  
"I thought you'd say that"  
"And I didn't have my lunch time coffee"  
"Oh no. Whatever will you do?"  
"I haven't decided yet"  
Reaching over, he picked up one of the sandwich triangles  
"What was your favourite bit about the aquarium?"  
"Other than you?"  
"Don't tease me"  
"Fine. I guess when you started naming all the sea horses"  
Eren pouted  
"It's not my fault they have long faces like Jean"  
"I don't normally like places like that, but today made me appreciate them"  
"Life can be so shit at times. It's nice to see the other side of that"  
Settling into Levi's side properly, he forced himself to finish a whole sandwich. His stomach really wasn't happy with how much he'd eaten today, so didn't want to risk ruining it all by eating too much and throwing back up  
"Sorry. I'm full"  
"That's ok. You probably want to go to bed, anyway"  
"Yeah..."  
"That doesn't mean I haven't forgotten about your knees"  
"Oh... they are kind of sore"  
"You should have told me earlier"  
"I was having so much fun and I didn't want to make you mad"  
"You wouldn't have. Unless they get infected, then I'm going to get mad"  
"I honestly don't even know if I have the strength to walk up the stairs"  
"Is that your way of asking me to carry you?"  
"Would you?"  
"If you asked"  
"Mmm... as tempting as it is, I need to put that sandwich in the fridge. I hate leaving food out"  
"Why don't I do that, while you head upstairs?"  
"Because you've done like everything today"  
"It's fine"  
He liked having Levi looking after him. His omega full of praise for their? alpha's skills. He didn't know if this meant they were dating, but he did want to see where it went. Climbing up from beside him, Eren slumped into the spot the alpha vacated with a groan. Waving his arm limply, Levi pulled him to his feet  
"Change into something you can roll up, so I can do your knees"  
"I need a shower, but I'm just so tired"  
"Although it's against my policy of showering before bed, I think what you need right now is rest"  
"Is that your professional opinion?"  
"Yes"  
"I guess I have no choice then"  
Kissing his shoulder, Levi leant down and retrieved the plate   
"Head on up, I'll be there soon"

His knees protested the each and every stair. By the time he stumbled into his room, he was ready for sleep all over again. Forcing himself to strip down, he grabbed the sweats and shirt he used for pyjamas and changed, intentionally not looking at his knees, because he knew Levi would scold him over them. He'd have to try and hide the damage with concealer or socks. Sitting on the edge of his bed, he put his phone on charge, waiting patiently for Levi.

Levi must have headed out to his car, as the medical kit he came up with wasn't Hanji's or the one from the bathroom. Biting his lip, as the alpha sat down on the floor, he waited while Levi pulled a set of blue gloves on  
"Are you going to watch?"  
"No. Just don't go near my ankles. I'm likely to kick"  
"I would very much like not be kicked in the face"  
"It wouldn't be intentional"  
"Is it do with the scars?"  
"Uh... yeah"  
"Alright. No ankles. Easy. Left leg first"  
Biting his lip harder, he watched Levi push the fabric up his leg, the alpha sighing softly   
"Eren, why didn't you tell me it was this bad?"  
"I don't know. I didn't look"  
"How could you not know? You grazed the skin right off, and you've got blood down your leg"  
"I didn't... I mean... It didn't feel that bad"  
"I need to clean it out, you've got bits of black cotton stuck in the scabbing"  
"I'm sorry"  
"No. It's my fault for leaving you"  
Even with the gloves on, Levi was gentle. The alpha working fast to clean and dress both knees, before packing up his kit and standing. Panicking slightly, Eren reached out and grabbed his hand  
"It's ok. I'm just going to wash my hands. I'll come back and tuck you in"  
"You don't need to tuck me in"  
"Don't you want to spend more time with me?"  
"I do"  
"Then I'll be right back"

Crawling across his bed, he made sure to leave space for Levi. The alpha coming back and sitting on his bed like it was his right   
"I need to head home soon"  
"You could stay"  
"Eren..."  
"I mean, you've got work so early. And I don't like the idea of you driving tired"  
"And what would Hanji say?"  
"About what?"  
"Eren..."  
"I'm not asking for you to do anything other than sleep. It's.. selfish and stupid, but I don't want the day to be over just yet"  
"It's not selfish and it's not stupid"  
"Then..."  
Reaching out, Levi cupped his left cheek, the alpha sighing again  
"When you give me that look, it feels like my heart is breaking"  
"What look?"  
"You look so sad"  
"Oh... I didn't mean to"  
"I know this relationship thing is new, and I know you want me to stay, but I don't want to overstep and not respect your boundaries"  
"I'm sorry..."  
"You don't need to be sorry"  
"It's... it's really lonely here alone. I get so stupidly scared"  
"How can I say no to that?"  
"You don't have to stay"  
"I can't have you being upset and lonely"  
"But work?"  
"As long as I leave around 2, it should be fine"  
"Really?"  
"Yeah. I'll need to borrow some clothes"  
"There's sweats in the bottom of the wardrobe and shirts hanging up"  
"Close your eyes and get comfy"  
Kissing his forehead, Levi pulled away. Closing his eyes, Eren resisted the urge to peek, even if he was slicking over the fact Levi was changing in his bedroom. It only took the alpha a few minutes before he climbed into bed next to him, Eren immediately wriggling closer to him  
"I just need to set my alarm"  
"You can use my charger. I don't start until 6, which is like a whole day away"  
"Not quite"  
"Close enough. It's further than 2am"  
Levi lent over and plugged his phone in, before resuming his position as Eren's pillow. When the alpha had gotten changed, he'd turned off the bedrooms main light, and flicked the lamp on  
"Are you sleepy?"  
"A little. I normally read"  
"My book's in the top draw, if you want to"  
"It's fine. I feel like I'm going to fall asleep right away after today"  
Playing with his hair, Eren nuzzled into Levi's chest  
"The shorter cut suits you"  
He'd had his hair cut back to his shoulders, rather than halfway down his shoulder blades. Naturally he'd piled it back into a bun  
"Mmm? You think so?"  
"Yeah. It's softer too"  
"Because all the split ends are gone"  
"That might help"  
"It does. It was getting really dry from them"  
"I'll take your word for it. Now get some sleep"  
"Ok. Good night, Levi"  
"Good night, Eren"  
With the lamp switched off, Eren sighed happily to himself. If only he could always be this happy. He wasn't alone anymore. Levi was staying the night. The alpha felt warm and safe beneath him. Starting to purr again, he fell asleep in Levi's hold.

Waking to Levi's alarm, they shifted in their sleep. The alpha spooned up behind him, holding close as Levi's breath tickled the back of his neck. Rather than running away this time, Levi kissed his shoulder   
"I guess it's time"  
"Mmm"  
"You don't need to get up"  
"I don't want to let you go"  
"I have work"  
"I know. Still doesn't mean I want to let you"  
Rolling over in Levi's hold, he sleepily snaked an arm around the alpha, holding him tightly so he could give him a morning kiss. Already trying to ignore the arousal pooled down in his crotch, he couldn't help but moan into the kiss. Sharing several more long kisses, Levi growled gently as he pushed him back  
"Brat. I have to go"  
"I know"  
"I'll message you later"  
"Message me when you get home, and when you get to work"  
"Oh? Don't trust me"  
"More like I want to know you got home safely"  
"Mmm. I think I can do that. I'm borrowing your clothes"  
"That's fine. You know where I live, and I can always send Hanji after you"  
Levi wrinkled his face as if disgusted  
"Mood over. I don't need to think about her, not when I'm in bed with you"  
"Someone's jealous"  
"No. Not at all"  
Leaning down Levi kissed his forehead  
"Go back to sleep"  
"Ok. Thank you for staying"  
"We didn't do much"  
"It felt nice not being alone"  
Kissing his forehead again, the alpha finally pulled away to deal with his beeping alarm  
"I'll plug your phone in for you"  
"Thanks"

Levi stole one more kiss before he ran off. Flopping back onto his bed, he grabbed Levi's pillow and screamed into. He was so fucking screwed. Levi was amazing. He hadn't even said anything about his aroused scent, or the scent of slick that had been trapped beneath the covers. He hadn't forced him down, or even tried to take advantage of him. He'd been the perfect gentleman, happy with kisses and snuggling, after making him dinner and bandaging up his knees. Was it possible to die from happiness? He was sure he was about to. His omega felt like it was sitting in the back of his mind gloating. He wanted to scream it. That Levi was his, even if he wasn't, or completely sure about things between them. No. Those kisses had definitely been more than the ones Zeke used to give him. God. He was just so fucking happy... and wet. Ok. Yeah. As much as he wanted to continue rolling around in Levi's scent. He needed to shower and clean up.

Falling back to sleep after showering, Eren was rudely awoken by the sound of his phone ringing. Messages chimed, but annoying phone calls rang. Keeping his face against Levi's pillow, he blindly reached out, finding something that wasn't his phone. Confused, he picked the small object up and brought it to his face, but as the sun had barely risen, he couldn't see a thing, dropping it lightly to his pillow before he stupidly fumbled his lamp on and blinded himself. Closing his eyes, he counted to 5 before opening them. That fucker. Levi had bought him the little dolphin figure he'd liked the day before. The glass object was only about 4 centimetres or so, but the blues of the glass was like nothing he'd ever seen. Now the shark he'd chosen for Levi seemed stupid and lame. The alpha had bought him two beautiful gifts... while he didn't even know if Levi truly liked what he'd gifted him. Careful to place the dolphin back where it had been, he grabbed his phone, scowling at the missed call from an unknown number. That was all it took to ruin everything. He'd forgotten about Zeke. He'd dropped his guard completely and had forgotten. How.. how could he forget his own brother? Oh... fuck... Levi had stayed. He hadn't even thought about the danger Levi could be being placed in. He'd... he'd just wanted him to stay and he had. Why did Zeke have to call? Why did it take just one missed call to know everything was going to go to shit? He'd found a good alpha. He knew Levi was a good alpha. He was kind, and sweet, and felt so horrible over what had happened in the car. Why did he have to choose between his brother and the alpha who finally made him feel safe. The alpha who held him, and reassured him, even without knowing everything. Everything about Levi's touches we different from all the other alphas in the past. He never raised his hand to hurt him. He never kicked him or yelled at him. He didn't tell him he had to be good. He didn't tell him he was fat, or that he was eating the wrong thing. Working himself into a mess, he couldn't calm back down. He didn't want to... he didn't want to leave? God. Why? He'd wanted Zeke to come back so badly, so why was it that the thought of leaving all this hurt? Hanji and Moblit were both so kind. They'd taken him in, like it was just a natural thing to do. Like he wasn't a complete stranger. Like he wasn't broken and damaged. They both went out their way to make him feel welcome. To take him to his therapy appointments. To pay for his medical bills and to arrange the follow up appointments he needed for his ankle. They treated him so fucking good... and all their friends had been nice to him. He had Marco too... he didn't have to worry about Reiner or Bertholdt. He didn't have to about awkward situations, and hiding them from Zeke. He... he'd become such a bad omega... so selfish and jealous. Zeke was right. He kept making mistakes.

 

*  
Forcing himself not to message Levi nonstop was harder than expected. He'd thanked Levi for staying with him, in response to his messages that "he'd gotten home" and that "he'd made it to work"... but tried not to message him back right away. Zeke had made it clear by not calling him back, that he wasn't impressed and needed to stay away from Levi. He hated it. He hated not talking to Levi. He knew the alpha would be thinking he'd done something wrong, when he hadn't. With that and with work being even worse than before, the omega was a wreck when Hanji and Moblit finally got home Sunday morning. The first thing he did when the door opened was rush into Hanji's hold  
"Eren..."  
"I missed you"  
"Aw, we missed you too sweetheart. Didn't we, Moblit?"  
"Yeah. It's good to see you. The house looks good"  
Eren sniffled, Hanji walking him backwards into the lounge room, before the pair of them fell onto the sofa in a tangled mess  
"God! It's good to be hooooome"  
"It is?"  
"Yeah! Moblit's family home is crazy"  
"Moblit would have to be used to it, to put up with you"  
Hanji cackled, tickling his sides  
"Excuse me. I'm only a little crazy"  
Eren was stuck doing a weird laughing cry, trying to push Hanji off  
"Ok! Ok... I take it back"  
Stopping the tickling, Hanji slumped against him, leaving him to rearrange them so Hanji head was in his lap  
"So, what happened while I was gone?"  
"Nothing much... mostly working. It's so quiet here without you"  
"Aw... we're home now. I can yell as much as you want and need me to"  
"I know. I missed you so much"  
"Well, we don't intend to go anywhere for a looooong time"  
"Good"  
"Now, why were you crying when came in? What happened?"  
"I just missed you"  
"Mhmm. That's why your eyes are all red and puffy"  
"I was crying because I was happy you were coming back?"  
"So you and Levi didn't have a fight"  
"What?"  
"A little birdie told me you two went on a date"  
"It... Hanji..."  
He couldn't even bring himself to say it. He didn't know how to say it all out loud, but it fucking hurt. He missed Levi   
"Sweetheart, what's wrong? Nothing bad happened, did it?"  
"N-no. It... it was perfect"  
"Then what's wrong?"  
"I just feel like something bad's going to happen"  
"Levi won't let anything bad happen"  
"Zeke... he'd get so mad"  
"Well, Levi and Erwin are coming for dinner tonight. So you better think about what you're going to say"  
"I've got work"  
"You couldn't get the night off?"  
He had a feeling that if he asked for the night off, they'd just fire him  
"I had Wednesday and Thursday off"  
"I guess we'll be having dinner without you. Now, I want to hear all about this date"  
"It... Levi was nice. The perfect gentleman"  
Hanji giggled  
"I can't picture it. He's usually all like "This place is fucking disgusting. Ugh. Is there somewhere around here I can wash my hands? No, we're not eating here. You don't know what they put into things. What are you taking stupid photos for?" or something"  
Eren shook his head   
"He wasn't like that all. We took photos and had lunch there"  
"You took photos? With Levi? Like... Levi's in the photo?"  
"Y-yeah?"  
"Aww. He's so into you"  
"I... miss talking to him"  
"Zeke or Levi"  
"B-both... but.... I just... I don't want Levi getting hurt"  
"He's a big bad alpha who can handle himself. Now... you said there were photos?"  
"In my room... I... I don't know how to get a copy of them"  
"A copy? You mean you want to print them out?"  
"Yeah... I don't have any photos. I never have. Even with Zeke"  
"Right. Go get your phone and we'll figure this out"  
"You just want to see them"  
"Of course I do! Did he stay the night? Oh my gosh, did you two do it?"  
"Ewww no! He only stayed because he had work at 4"  
"And?"  
"And what? We didn't do anything"  
"Not even kiss"  
"A little"  
"And where did he sleep?"  
"Next to me. It was nice"  
"Look at you! I really am happy for the both of you"  
Eren wished he could be happy for himself again, but he couldn't stop thinking of Zeke. If Zeke took him away, would Levi forget all about him? Would he find himself a new omega?  
"What are you two talking about?"  
Sitting on the sofa's arm, Moblit placed his hand on Hanji's shoulder  
"Eren and Levi went on a date"  
Moblit raised an eyebrow  
"A date?"  
"To the aquarium"  
"I didn't know Levi had it in him. Did he complain the whole time?"  
Eren shook his head   
"No"  
Hanji giggled at Moblit's clear shock   
"I'd say Levi has it pretty bad for our Eren. Eren was just about to go get his phone so we could see the photos"  
"Wait, you even got photos?"  
"I don't know why you're both so shocked... he's always nice to me"  
"We're not saying Levi isn't nice, it's just we've known him a long time and this is the first time we've seen him acting like this. He never usually likes things like dates, or public places. He's not that great at dealing with people"  
Ummm... Levi dealt with people everyday. He saved and help people. The alpha didn't love shopping, but they'd still gone out and done that. Maybe he was just putting up with all of it because he knew Eren was kind of useless on his own. He'd never have been able to go food shopping on his own, and Levi had even stayed when he'd nearly freaked when getting his hair cut. Alphas with scissors just wasn't ok  
"I'm just saying, he really cares about you. Now go get your phone"

Retrieving this phone, he found Moblit had moved to the sofa, leaving a space for him between the two adults. Sitting down between them, Hanji grabbed for his phone   
"Hey, how am I supposed to see?"  
"It's not my fault"  
"You told me to sit over here"  
"And you're the one who listened. Besides, Eren wants to get a copy printed, so I need to do that first"  
Moblit lent around him  
"Don't you need to go to camera store for that?"  
"Nope. Most department stores have an online print option now. I'm just going to sort it out, then I'll share"  
"Wait? You're going to see all my photos?"  
"I promise not to look at the naughty ones"  
"I. What. No! There's nothing like that on there. I was wondering if you could do my birthday photos too"  
"Yep. No worries!"

Hanji seemed to know what she was doing. With her phone out, she swapping between both devices with practiced ease  
"You can stop looking so worried. I'm waiting for your photo library to load, then I can select all the photos"  
"Umm. How long is this going to take?"  
"Probably a little while. You've got heaps of them"  
"Then do you guys want me to make you something to eat?"  
"I'm fine. I'm more excited about these photos"  
As long as Hanji stayed in the photo bit and didn't check his calls or texts, there shouldn't be a problem...

Mid-whatever she was up to, Eren's phone started ringing, tilting the device towards him, the woman frowned   
"Do you know that number?"  
"No. I've never seen it before"  
"For some reason, it seems familiar"  
Soooo Hanji might know whoever was on the end...  
"Are you going to answer it?"  
"I don't like taking calls if I don't know the number"  
That didn't stop Hanji. Answering the call, she raised his phone to her ear. Whatever was going on, it didn't sound good. Hanji explaining to the caller who she was, before confirming something and ending the call with a frown   
"Who was it?"  
"The police. Were you working Tuesday morning?"  
"Yeah... I got home about 6am"  
"The police want you to come down the station to answer some questions"  
"What? Why?"  
"They didn't say"  
What was so special about Tuesday? They'd finished up, cleaned up then he'd gone home  
"Eren, did something happen?"  
Moblit's voice was soft, yet he was sure he heard a hint of accusation in it. It was probably just his anxieties, whatever it was, it pissed him off  
"No. Nothing"  
"If something did..."  
"Nothing happened! I don't know why they'd be calling me in"  
"Ok, just calm down"  
"How am I supposed to calm down? I haven't done anything and you're acting like I have!"  
Hanji placed her hand on his arm  
"No one is saying you have anything to do with whatever this is. They probably just want to eliminate you from whatever enquiry this is"  
"They wouldn't be calling me if they didn't think I had something to do with it"  
He wasn't supposed to be making trouble! Now he was in trouble with the police! What the fuck was he going to do? If Zeke found out...  
"Hey, trust me. It's all going to be ok"  
"I think I'm going to go up to my room"  
"You don't have to"  
Eren shook his head. Moblit already made it clear he thought he had something to do with whatever had happened, while Hanji was acting like there was a strong possibility. He hadn't done anything! He'd done his job! He'd danced. He'd cleaned. He'd grabbed his stuff out his locker and he'd headed home. He hadn't done anything!

 

*  
Hanji looked frazzled as she opened the door to Levi and Erwin. Not at all like she'd just taken a week off work  
"Hey guys, come on in"  
She even sounded exhausted. Slipping in past her, Levi was highly conscious of the fact the last time he'd been here, he'd fallen asleep in Eren's arms  
"Everything alright?"  
Nodding, she lead them through to the kitchen, where Moblit was hovering behind the counter, also looking exhausted   
"Yeah. Just had a little drama with Eren today. He's locked himself in his room and refuses to come out"  
Erwin frowned, the tall alpha leaning against the kitchen counter  
"That doesn't sound like him"  
"Neither does him stealing money, but that's what happened. He said he didn't do it, and I'd like to believe him, but I don't know anything about the strip club scene"  
Levi couldn't help but feel annoyed that she wouldn't believe Eren. He didn't seem the type to steal, and why would he need to?  
"Do you want me to try talking to him?"  
"No. He's pretty upset. It's best we just leave him alone for now. His boss was at the police station when we went in. The arsehole started yelling at Eren and blaming him for the theft. By the time he was taken through for questioning, he was nearly having a panic attack. Then they wouldn't let anyone go in with him, got him so upset he finally did have that panic attack. They took his finger prints, though he swears he knows nothing about it"  
"All this for a little bit of pocket change?"  
Erwin sounded just as angry as he felt   
"Yep. Five hundred dollars. He swears he didn't take it"  
Wait... $500...   
"Levi? What is it?"  
"Nothing"  
"Levi, do you know something?"  
"Maybe..."  
Was this his fault? Did Eren take the money to pay him back sooner? To make him like him more?  
"Levi, if you know something, we need to know"  
Fuck. He might just be dropping Eren in the shit here, but if the kid did steal it, Hanji would have a better idea of what to do   
"Eren paid me back. The day we went to the aquarium. He said it was his money from dancing before he came here"  
"When we brought him home, he didn't have any money"  
Moblit placed down the pot of pasta he was about to strain   
"So you think he stole it?"  
"I don't think he did. But Moblit, where else did he get the money?"  
Hanji sighed heavily, rubbing at her face. Erwin piped up, being the voice of reason   
"He saw Zeke right? Is it possible that he gave him the money?"  
"I doooon't know. It doesn't seem like something he'd do"  
"Did the police say anything else?"  
"No, and Eren's boss fired him on the spot, promised he'd never work as a dancer again. All the usual bullshit. Like he's not worth the trouble. Omegas are worthless. Eren was so upset, he couldn't tell us what they asked him. I tried telling that he has anxiety, depression and PTS. They didn't even try to listen"  
Clearing his throat, Levi rejoined the conversation   
"I'll talk to him"  
"I don't know, Levi. I know he thinks the world of you. I don't think he even wants you to know. He was so mad... he started yelling before he locked himself away "  
Probably because no one listened to him or believed him... not that he'd made things better by mentioning the fact Eren had paid him the same amount of money that had been stolen  
"Look, go ahead and serve dinner. I'll go see what I can get out of him"  
"If you upset him, I'll kick your shin"  
"Moblit, contain your wife. Erwin, make sure she doesn't get into the tequila while I'm upstairs"  
"What if I want to get into the tequila?"  
"Then you're on your own. Alcohol isn't going to make any of this better"

Knocking on Eren's door, he could hear the music playing inside. Knocking a little harder, the music paused   
"Go away!"  
"Eren, its Levi"  
"Go away!"  
That little shit  
"We need to talk"  
"Why? So you can blame me for something I didn't do!"  
"Just open the door. We can't yell at each other like this all night"  
"Fine"  
It took a few moments, but Eren opened the door for him. The omega looked a wreck. His eyes puffy as snot ran from his nose, while his pained scent had filled the brat's bedroom  
"I didn't fucking do it"  
"Hey, I never said you did"  
No. You just strongly implicated him to the people who are like family to him...  
"Hanji and Moblit did. My boss did. The police did... I didn't"  
"Eren, why don't we sit down"  
"I don't want to fucking sit. I want to scream"  
Eren's whole room was trashed, it looked like her hurled absolutely everything that could be, other than the small blue dolphin that sat on the bedside table  
"Fine. If you didn't do it, who did?"  
"I don't know!"  
"You have no idea who took five hundred dollars"  
"No I don't! Have many times do I have to tell you?!"  
He could see Eren thinking about the exact way he'd phrased it, a look if pure disgust morphing his features   
"You think I did it!"  
"You gave me $500"  
"From working! When I was working at the old club!"  
"Eren, you didn't have anything when you moved in"  
"Zeke gave it to me!"  
"Did you tell Hanji or Moblit?"  
"Tell them what? That my over controlling brother broke into their house, and told me to say here. Told me he'd come back if I'm good, and let my money I had hidden in my bedroom here! Or that I just got fired from the second job Zeke got me! That he called me and arranged everything?! What should I be fucking telling them when they don't even listen?"  
"Zeke gave it to you?"  
"It was mine. I had it hidden away in the apartment so Reiner and Bertholdt didn't fucking find it! You really think I would fucking steal to pay you back?!"  
"Eren..."  
"No! I can't believe this! I thought you'd listen, but you're just like them! I didn't take the money"  
Wrapping his arms around his waist, Eren sank down. He'd well and truly fucked this up  
"I just wanted to get your side of things"  
"I might be stupid, but even I know what you meant. If you didn't think I might be involved, you wouldn't have said how much it was. That money... that was two years of working my arse and saving every little bit I could. When I got my tips, I'd swap them over for full notes on the nights Bertholdt wasn't behind the bar. Then when I had notes, I'd save them and swap them to fifties. Five hundred might not be anything to you, but for me, that was every fucking dollar, and I wanted to pay you off because I didn't want that to be a thing! But you're just like all of them! You don't fucking care! I can't believe I really liked you!"  
"I..."  
"Get out!"  
Stepping closer to Eren, the omega fell back on his arse, letting out a howl of misery  
"Get out! I don't want to see you!"  
Grabbing what was closest, Eren balled up a hoodie and threw it in his direction  
"Get out! Get out! Get out!"  
"Eren, I didn't say you did anything. I just wanted to understand what happened and why you had to go to the police"  
"You alphas are all the fucking same! I thought you were different. I was stupid! Zeke was right! I'm a bad omega... he should have left me to die. I wanted to die..."  
Levi's blood ran cold at the thought of Eren being dead. He didn't want Eren dead and didn't want him being this upset. Out of all the ways he could have approached this, he'd gone and put his foot in it. Ignoring Eren not wanting him there, he sank down and wrapped his arms around him  
"Let me go!"  
"Eren"  
"I don't want to see you"  
"Eren"  
"You thought I'd done it. Why? I told you where the money came from. Why wouldn't you believe me?"  
"I had to ask"  
"No you didn't! You could have believed me, but you didn't!"  
Starting to dry heave from how worked up he was, Eren continued struggling to push him away  
"I'm sorry!"  
"I don't care! I don't care anymore... just go..."  
"Eren. Please. If you would just listen to me, we can talk about this"  
The omegas voice dropped, whispering with finality   
"Go"

Heading back downstairs, Levi dragged his feet. That could have gone so much better. Eren hated him now. Every little bit of trust they'd built up had been broken. He knew the omega wouldn't just steal money, so why hadn't he just kept his mouth shut   
"Levi?"  
"He thinks we all blame him and that we all think he's lying"  
Hanji's eyes filled with tears. Despite dinner being served, they were all standing around the kitchen counter still. Pulling her close, Moblit rubbed Hanji's back  
"I fucked up"  
"No, he was already upset. Did he tell you anything?"  
"Zeke's been here. In the house. He came and saw Eren, dropping off the money from his old job. It was his savings from two years working there. He used to convert his tips to bigger notes"  
"Zeke's been here?"  
"Yeah. He also lined Eren up with the new job"  
Hanji let out a groan  
"I'm so stupid!"  
Stepping out of Moblit's hold, she shook her head  
"I think I know what happened"  
The three male alphas looked at her in combined confusion  
"I'm glad someone fucking does"  
"Eren had been crying before we came home. He said it was because he'd missed us, but then when I was talking to him about your budding relationship, he said he was scared something bad was going to happen, and he was scared Zeke would do something to Levi if they took things any further. We know Eren's been talking to Zeke. If Zeke told him to stay away from you and he didn't, he could have done all this so Eren lost his job. He had to know the club owner to get Eren the job, how easy would it be to manipulate him into claiming a robbery and pinning it all on Eren"  
"So what? Because Eren wants to date Levi, Zeke's trying to get him in trouble?"  
"Probably. Possibly. If he knew Eren had paid Levi, now would be the best time. You said he's been in the house?"  
"Yeah. Eren said so"  
"So he knows the house alarm... then with Eren paying you, and being accused of stealing, the kid thinks everyone has turned against him. Now would be the perfect time for Zeke to take him back. He's had his heart broken by all of us"  
"I think you should go apologise to him"  
Eren was only going to cry more if Levi tried. He'd really fucked up, and was nearly on the verge of tears himself over it all. If only he hadn't specifically said "five hundred dollars"  
Hanji nodded, her face determined   
"We all should. And we should talk to him about Zeke. He can't be breaking in, and we can't let him continue to manipulate Eren like this"  
Moblit pinched the bridge of his nose   
"Then what do we do? Eren said Zeke is dangerous"  
"Zeke gets off on the fact Eren doesn't know anything about the outside world. He "saved" him, grooming him and manipulating him to believe he needs him. Eren doesn't need Zeke. Zeke needs Eren. He plays with him like a toy. If Eren stands up to him, he wouldn't know what to do"  
"Or he could seriously hurt him. Levi, we've seen alphas like this before. It was only $500. Pocket change that doesn't even warrant going to the police over, yet it's turned into this big thing. That's not normal"  
Now that his head had cleared and he could really think things through, Erwin had a point  
"So what? Scare Eren into doing what?"  
"Zeke's probably told him all sorts of lies. Hanji, you should go talk to him first"  
"I thought we just agreed to apologise"  
"He doesn't want anything to do with me, and he's had issues with male alphas in the past. Go up and calm him down. Then we can sit him down and apologise for making him feel like we suspected him"  
Erwin nodded  
"That's probably a better plan"  
"Will he even talk to me?"  
"You're like a mother to him. I'm just the arsehole that broke his heart"  
"Ok. I guess it's better than leaving him to himself, but if he's gone into heat, you both need to leave"  
"That's fine. As long as he's ok and understands"

Levi envied Hanji. If he'd kept his mouth closed, he could be laying in bed with Eren. He could be reassuring the omega that none of them suspected he could do anything like that. Disappearing upstairs, Hanji came flying back down a few minutes later  
"Eren's gone"  
"What do you mean he's gone?"  
"His phone was on his bed, and he's gone. He's not upstairs..."  
Fuck. He'd pushed too far and now... Eren had taken off... this was his fault. Staggering, Erwin caught him by the arm  
"He'll be ok"  
"You don't know that!"  
"Moblit, you take your car and head South, Levi and I will head North"  
"What if he's gone back to Zeke?"  
The words slipped from his mouth, like the colour had drained from his face, completely unintentionally due to shock   
"No. Right now, we need to look for him. Hanji, you stay here and act as a go between. If you find him, call Hanji, and we'll do the same"  
"This is all my fucking fault"  
"Levi"  
"I pushed him too fucking far. He just wanted someone to believe him, and I let him down. I made him feel like I was blaming him"  
"Levi"  
"What?! He's broken and fucking scared. His abusive piece of shit brother keeps fucking with his life! We turned our backs on him! He opened up to us, and we fucking broke his trust. No wonder he left. We told him we'd be there for him, and the moment something happens, we all jump at the chance to blame him"  
Hanji broke down into small sobs  
"Moblit... what do we do?"  
"We find him and we bring him home"  
"But he hates us"  
"Then we apologise and we work hard to fix things. We explain that we didn't understand what was going on, and even if he doesn't want to see us or talk to us, it's still safer if he remains here"


	16. Chapter 16

Striding down the street, Eren was wiping at his face angrily. He'd honestly thought Levi was different. He'd thought the alpha would believe him, without him having to justify himself. Just like her thought the same thing about Moblit and Hanji. They made him talk to the police...police who blamed him for the theft and laughed at him for being an omega. He hadn't taken the money. He didn't even go near the till, or the bar. He didn't know the bartender, so he didn't trust him to make his drinks. He kept his tips in his locker, and never complained when they were short by the end of the night. He'd been pushed and bullied. And now... he was jobless. Useless. And fucking homeless. No one wanted him. He didn't know how to call Zeke. How could he even face him? How could he tell him he was right? Levi had fucked him, and now that he knew he wasn't going to get any further. Zeke never should have saved him. He should have left him to die in that hospital room. No one had known who he was to begin with. The sores on his legs so badly infected they'd never expected him to live. He couldn't speak. He couldn't stand. He couldn't sleep. Even laying in a clean bed scared him. Then Zeke had come... and now he had no one, all over again.

At some point he began running. His feet hitting the pavement as he lost himself in the feeling. He was so fucking over this. Over starting all over again. Over being left behind. Over being hurt. Over alphas. Over being made to feel weak and useless. Over bringing forced to do things he didn't want. Over feeling like the chains were still around his legs. Things were so much simpler when he didn't know anything. When all he needed to do was be by Zeke. All these people had filled his head with stupid ideas. He'd let himself begin to hope and dream. He'd seen himself as more than an omega. More than the sad kid who saw his mother be killed. The sad kid whose father went psychotic when he discovered that his wife had been hiding the fact their son was an omega. The sad kid who's father got involved with the wrong people. He'd thought he was more than, but he wasn't. He was still that sad same kid that had been locked away. The chains might be gone, but the memories never faded.

 

*  
Levi's usual composure had gone out the window. He didn't know how long they'd been looking for Eren. His body was filled with an anxious energy, a feeling of sick dread and fear swirling in his stomach, leaving him queasy and his left bouncing in a way to expel it. He was afraid if he opened his mouth, everything would come out as vomit. As his eyes scanned their surrounds for an sign of Eren, his body grew colder. Even if Eren never wanted to see him again, he wanted to know the omega was safe. Even if Eren wanted to move away to the opposite side of the world and forget all about him, that would be ok, just as long as Eren was safe. He just needed him to be alright. The world was cruel to omegas, and life had seemed to decide it needed to be especially cold towards Eren. How much had the kid suffered? How many days had he spent running from people who didn't even exist? How many demons still lurked in Eren's mind?   
"Levi, I don't think we're going to find him"  
Erwin's words felt numb, or rather he felt numb to them  
"We're not giving up"  
"Levi, it's been hours"  
"We're not giving up on him!"  
"We've driven most of the suburb"  
"Then we keep going"  
"I know you want to find him..."  
"Then shut up and drive"  
"... but what if he's already been picked up?"  
"We're not giving up"  
"Moblit hasn't found him either. Hanji hasn't called at all. Shinganshima is just too big for us to search on our own"  
"So we leave him out here? Alone and unbonded? Possibly in heat. We leave him out here where anything could happen to him?"  
"I'm not saying that"  
"The police aren't going to look for a runaway omega. Especially not one accused of stealing a couple hundred bucks! You know that!"  
"Look..."  
"No. I don't want to hear it. If you're not going to drive, you can get out"  
"Maybe he's already headed back to Hanji's?"  
"I doubt it. We all betrayed him"  
"Then where is he? If he was on foot, we should have found him by now"  
"I don't know! I don't know where he is! Don't you think I've been racking my brain trying to think of places he'd go?! He doesn't go anywhere! Work and home. That's it! That's his life because he's so fucking scared people are after him. He can't handle large crowds. He doesn't know how to go shopping for himself. He didn't even know to get his hair cut. He doesn't know. He's lost and he's scared and we need to find him... please Erwin... I can't lose him"  
Fuck... somewhere out there was the omega he loved, and he was too fucking useless to know where. Those fucking tears he'd tried to hide were rolling down his face, pathetically and selfishly. He... he needed Eren.

To appease him, Erwin continued looping round the neighbourhood. It was now well into the night, lights from inside the neat rows of houses were turning off, people going to sleep with no clue there was a missing kid in their neighbour hood. Not that they'd see Eren as a kid. They'd just see him as some useless omega who'd run off. They wouldn't seen Eren's bright eyes, or soft brown hair. The way his whole face lit up with pride when learnt something new, or the way he'd half hide behind Levi when he scared, yet curious. They didn't know how caring Eren was. How he felt like he deserved everything that had happened to him. How he felt like he'd been the one who let society down, when it was definitely the other way around. Society didn't want to admit the way omegas were treated was wrong, because that meant changing their ways. They were happily ignorant in their lives. Living like pigs feeding off slop, dying before they achieved anything more than producing offspring. Offspring that started the cycle all over again. Eren wasn't like that. He had so many fears, but he still saw the beauty in the world. He still wanted to explore and learn. Levi couldn't understand what he'd been through because Eren hadn't told them, but he'd been sure that that was what they'd been working towards. That Eren had begun to trust them in the 7 months since he'd come into their lives, was incredible. Now he was gone. Dealing with everything alone, because they'd done that to him.

Levi had started to give up hope. Erwin pulling into Hanji's driveway without him able to protest. There was only so much room inside his throbbing head for every good and bad thought to live, and it seemed like the bad ones had completely snuffed out his hope. Half falling out his Range Rover, he was bone tired. Moblit's car wasn't back, at least he hadn't given up on finding Eren. Coming to his side, Erwin tried to take his arm, but Levi didn't want to be comforted, jerking away from his friend. He wanted Eren   
"He's a strong kid"  
What kind of generic bullshit was that? Why the fuck was Erwin so calm? Disgusted, he stormed up to the front door and let himself inside. Catching sight of broken Hanji, Levi couldn't bare the momentary look of hope, before the fall when Eren didn't follow Erwin in. Swallowing hard, he fled, fleeing until he was Eren's room. Sliding down against the closed door, he covered his face with his hands. He didn't want to live in a world without Eren... so why couldn't find him?

 

*  
"Eren. Eren, it's time to get up"  
Opening his eyes, Eren yawned softly. He didn't remember how he'd gotten to where ever here was, only that he had happy he was. He couldn't remembered much from leaving Hanji's, but he could remember every single moment of the last week. Every moment since waking up in a strange bed, in a strange house... curled up in Zeke's strong hold. Pushing himself up, he drew his knees to his chest, offering his brother a shy smile   
"Hey, Zeke"  
"I bought you new clothes"  
"Thank you"  
Walking over to the edge of the bed, Zeke sat beside him, pulling him into a tight hug, the clothes he'd brought with him placed down on Eren's pillow one handedly  
"Did you have another bad dream?"  
"Not this time"  
Nuzzling and kissing his hair, Zeke felt wonderful against him. His brother had turned up just as he needed him. Had taken him back, and now he was readjusting to his new life with his brother  
"That's good. You feel a little warm, so I thought you must have had another nightmare. I have work soon, but I'll be home for dinner"  
"Ok"  
"You're going to be here when I come back, aren't you?"  
"I'm not going anywhere"  
It wasn't like he had anywhere to go. Everyone he'd stupidly thought cared about him, had turned their backs on him. He'd stupidly thought he could trust them. That he could let them in, and that they'd believe him... but when he really needed him too, they didn't. Zeke did. Zeke had taken care of the police, at least that's what he'd said. If his brother could do it so easily, why couldn't Hanji or Moblit? How could he stay with people who didn't care for him? Zeke was the only one who ever would. Zeke was his family and all he needed. He hadn't even been mad. He'd simply told him that he was allowed to come back, but he had to behave himself  
"Good boy, come have breakfast"  
Kissing his hair again, Zeke rose from the bed, walking from the room and leaving him to get dressed. Of course he couldn't just come back without some a punishment. Zeke was only doing this for his sake, but he'd wished that out of everything, his brother hadn't bolted the outside of his room. Once he went to bed, he could only get out in the morning, when Zeke came to wake him. He couldn't lock his own room from the inside anymore, but that didn't worry him so much anymore, not now that Reiner and Bertholdt didn't seem to be around any more. It was just him and Zeke... he was where he was supposed to be... so why couldn't he forget everyone else? Why couldn't he forget Levi? They let him down. He should just forget them... so why wasn't it that easy? Why did he want to see them all again? And why did he want to see Marco? How could he possibly explain everything to Marco? Marco had probably heard everything from Hanji, about how he was thief and such a bad omega. He probably never wanted to see him again. How did he get past this?

Climbing out of his bed, he dressed in the clothes Zeke had brought him. Black jeans and a black shirt. A black shirt like the one Levi had worn to on their "date". A black shirt he wanted to tear to pieces in anger. Forcing himself into the offending garment, he smoothed out the creases, before pulling his hair from its bun, and throwing it back up into another one. Heading out his bedroom, he walked into the kitchen  
"Those look good"  
"Thank you. You have good taste"  
Moving to the kitchen sink, he grabbed the glass that was already in there, rinsing it before refilling it. Raising it to drink, the glass slipped the glass slipped from between his fingers, breaking when it hit the plate laying inside from Zeke breakfast  
"Fuck..."  
Looking up he frowned as Zeke strode towards him. Grabbing him by the front of his shirt, Eren felt like his heart broke as Zeke slapped him across the face. His brother had never hit him before. Ever. He hadn't meant to break the glass. He hadn't. He knew the place they were living in was new, and that they didn't have much... that's why... they didn't have much and there he was breaking things. He was so stupid. Of course Zeke would be mad... but that didn't make him any less scared.

Whimpering, Eren's hand went to his face. His cheek throbbed just as painful as his pounding heart  
"Oh, Eren. I'm sorry"  
Pulling him into his arms, Eren remained stiff against him  
"I wish I didn't have to teach you like this, but you've become so bad. It's not all your fault. It's mine for having to leave you with those people, but Eren, think about what you've been doing. You're unbonded, think about what that means. Those alphas, they only wanted you around because of it. They didn't really care for you. I do. I don't want to hurt you, but it's for your own good. You have to learn to be good all over again, but you can do it, right? You can be good again"  
He didn't want to be hit again. He wanted to be good. Good for everyone. Nodding sadly, he mumbled into Zeke's shoulder  
"I'll do better"  
"Yes, you will"  
Kissing his temple, Zeke released him   
"Don't forget to clean the apartment while I'm gone"  
"I know. I promise. Everything will be perfect for you"  
Ruffling his hair, Zeke laughed   
"See. That's my good little brother"  
He could do this. This was his normal. This. Him and Zeke and this new apartment. This. He couldn't 

 

*  
A fucking month had passed. A whole without Eren. Without his messages. Without the constant and ever ending messages filled with curious and trust. A month wiithout his smile. Without his laughter. Without him. He'd lost people before, but a life without Eren felt so cold and empty. The days felt so long, a sense of disconnection to reality only made them longer. Levi had read and reread every single message Eren had sent him. Praying and hoping that there was some kind of small hint to tell him where his... where the omega went. There was never anything. No secret or unread messages. No unanswered calls or magical voicemails. They'd tried going to the police, but the police had said Eren was in the custody of his brother. Zeke. The one person in the world that Eren definitely shouldn't have been with. He'd known the moment he heard that, that Eren wasn't going to come walking back through the front door of Hanji's on his own.

He wasn't the only one hurting. Hanji hadn't touched Eren's bedroom, not after the first day he'd disappeared. Levi had cleaned through it. He hadn't been able to stop himself after he'd broken down. He knew Eren prided himself on keeping Hanji's house clean, on keeping his own space clean. He couldn't bare seeing his room pulled apart. He couldn't bare seeing Eren's things discarded like they meant nothing to him. His friendship with the pair battered. Eren a "taboo" subject that sent Hanji into tears each time she saw something that reminded her of him. Nothing felt right without Eren in their lives. He'd been content with his lot on life. He had a nice apartment. He had a nice car. He had his cat for company. He had good friends and job where he made a difference. Now none of that filled the loneliness. He'd fallen for the green eyed brat, and nothing would ever be the same for him.

Disturbed by knocking on his apartment door, Levi glared at the source of the sound, but didn't move to do anything about it. No. He was still nursing his hangover, the night before lost to the bottom of the whiskey bottle. In his lap, Titan also made no attempt to move. Cats were funny like that. It was like the fat arsehole could tell he just wasn't coping anymore. He'd follow him from room to room. The tom waiting for him by the doorway each time he'd come back. As the doorknob turned, Titan's ears twitched. His body tensing in preparation to jump, but not following through. Even when Hanji stepped into his sanctuary   
"Hey"  
"Hey..."  
His voice sounded like fucking shit. Rough and gravelly from crying over Eren until he felt asleep   
"You look like shit"  
Cocking his head, he looked her up and down   
"Thanks. You don't look too crash hot either"  
Carrying something wrapped in a bag over to him, she sank down on the sofa with a heavy sigh   
"Another negative test"  
Levi nodded. Being an alpha female, it was already harder for her to conceive than a beta or an omega, even if spectrum wise both she and Moblit laid closer to beta than to prime alpha. Not that he really followed any of that shit. An alpha was a fucking alpha  
"I'm sorry to hear that"  
"It happens. I... these came. I thought you might like... like to take a look"  
Pulling the objects from the plastic bag, Hanji scattered photos across his coffee table  
"Eren asked me how to get them printed the day... the day he left. I'd forgotten about them, until I got a call..."  
"Hanji"  
"I know. I know I can't keep doing this to myself, but I know you miss him too"  
"He's with Zeke. If he wanted to come back, he would have found a way"  
"Do you think he hates us?"  
"He'd never hate you"  
"He... he liked you so much. He never told me he was learning to read, or that you were helping him. But... I could always tell when he was talking to you. His whole face would light up"  
It felt like she was plunging a knife into his barely healed heart   
"He's gone. And he isn't coming back. This. This isn't healthy. You and Moblit were trying for a family before he came along. If he was here. He wouldn't want you spending your time thinking about him"  
"What am I supposed to do? He's with Zeke. Do you know how much that fucking scares me?"  
"You think you're the only one who feels like that!? We can't change the past"  
Pot. Kettle. Black  
"Fine. You know what. Sit here you miserable fucking arsehole. Even Erwin is sick of this shit. I'm not giving up on him. And I can't believe you would either!"  
Rising from the sofa, Hanji strode over to the front door, escaping outside before slamming it closed. Laying back, Levi scrubbed at his face. He hadn't given up. He'd spent hours driving around the stupid fucking city looking for any signs or traces of Eren. He'd spent days praying to a god he didn't even believe in that the kid would come back. He'd been to every strip club, even the fucking seediest ones, looking for Eren. And he'd fucking found nothing. He hadn't given up, but what hope was left?

Trying to avoid thinking about those fucking photos, he couldn't stop himself. Cracking his eyes open, he glanced down. From the glimpses of blue, he could tell they were the photos from their trip to the aquarium. From the day he'd thought to himself "I want to marry this man". As Titan moved to curl up beside him, the fat cat flicked his tail as he started to groom himself   
"What would you do?"  
Titan looked up at him, as it scolding him for asking a cat for advice  
"Don't give me that. Didn't you hear Hanji? I'm an arsehole... I'm an arsehole that didn't know how fucking good he had it"  
If he'd never developed feelings for the broken omega, he'd never know this pain. Even when Isabel and Farlan had been killed, when his life was spinning out of control, it didn't feel like this. He'd given up on being a doctor. He'd given up on all his dreams. Until Erwin pulled him from the dark precipitous he'd been stuck on. He'd picked him up. Cleaned him up. Helped get his head straight and he'd ultimately become a paramedic because of him. For Erwin to be sick of him, just showed how shaken he was from having Eren disappear. Leaning forward, he picked up the first photo, a sad smile on his lips as he stared at the photo of them together. Eren's bright eyes were so warm. So happy. Filled with so much hope... but what hope was there now?


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well... yep... this ones all Levi's POV...
> 
> Not sure if the next one will be just Eren, or Levi too...

Running through the hospital carpark, Levi's heart was pounding loud enough that he could hear it. A fine layer of sweat covered him, his sweats and hoodie dishevelled from having been slept in. Mike had called. They were friends, but for him to call... well, it was rare. Levi nearly didn't answer, not when Hanji hadn't talked him since dropping Eren's photos off. The cursed photos that had spent him spiralling further. He was on leave from work, due to assaulting an alpha who'd decided to lay into their mate. The pale brunette didn't particularly look like Eren, yet, he hadn't been able to stop himself from decking the alpha. The piece of shit even had the audacity to claim the omega had deserved it. Spinning the truth, Erwin had claimed it was in self defence, managing to barely save Levi's job. Not that any of that mattered now.

Olou buzzed him straight through, and into the emergency department. All it had taken had been one look. One clear look that said he was fully prepared to kick down the security door if he wasn't. After hours, days and weeks... Eren had finally turned up again... though this wasn't how Levi wanted them to reunite. Catching sight of Hanji and Moblit, he jogged over to them. Hanji rising from the chair she was slumped in, to throw her arms around him  
"Levi..."  
"What happened?"  
Mike hadn't given him any details, only telling him Eren had been brought in by Eld and Gunther  
"P-Petra got the call... God... Levi... it's bad..."  
How bad was bad? He didn't care who got the fucking call. He wanted to know where Eren was, and what condition he was in. Placing his hand on his shoulder, Moblit shook his head  
"We don't know anything. Mike told us to wait here while Eren was taken through for x-rays"  
That explained where he was, but not how he was  
"Where are Gunther and Eld? They have to know what's going on"  
"They're being questioned by the police"  
So now the police wanted to help? Where was that help... no... they were only doing their jobs within the limitations of the law. Getting mad wouldn't help anyone...  
"I don't know what I'll do if he isn't ok!"  
"Shhh. Eren's a strong kid... so we need to be strong for him"  
The words coming out his mouth didn't match the emotions coursing through him. If Zeke had dared to hurt Eren physically after years of mental and emotional abuse, he was going to fucking gut him  
"What if it's really... what if he... will he even want to see us?"  
"He was in a fragile mental state before he went missing. If he lashes out, we need to be prepared to accept the abuse. He's going to be confused and scared"  
"I... this is all my fault"  
Levi sighed. He didn't need Hanji's emotional baggage on top of his own. Sensing the end of his patience, Moblit gently pried Hanji from him  
"This is not your fault"  
"He ran away"  
"Yes. But you didn't make him run and you didn't hurt him. You've gone above and beyond to do everything you think was right for him. Here, sit back down. We don't know how long it will be until he's moved back"  
They weren't supposed to be waiting back here, but no one was going to tell them otherwise. All the staff understood that Eren was like a son to Hanji, and the fierce glare on Levi's face only served to remind them to keep their mouths shut.

It was the better part of three shitty hours later that Eren was wheeled back into the Intensive Care section that backed onto the Emergency Department. Mike coming to personally retrieve them and guide them to Eren's room. Under the bright lights of the room, Eren's pale form seemed to blend in with the crisp white bedding. Levi's whole body shook with anger. He could smell Eren's pain. Eren's fear and Eren's blood. Grinding his teeth together, his hands clenched into fists   
"What the fuck happened to him?"  
Mike sighed softly, the man probably coping an onslaught of Levi's angry pheromones   
"Emergency services were called after the neighbours noticed a strange scent from the apartment Eren and Zeke were sharing. Upon inspection, Eren was found with a dirty needle hanging out his arm. He was curled up with his head on Zeke's chest. Zeke's body has been taken to the police morgue, but from what Gunther said, he'd say Zeke has been dead at least a week"  
Hanji gave a horrified gasp, while Levi's stomach flipped. Biter bile rose as he choked out his words  
"A dirty needle doesn't explain the need for x-rays"  
Once again, Mike sigh  
"He has three broken ribs. His ankle had been forcibly dislocated, enough force used to shift the pins and screws. His right wrist is also broken. There's signs he fought, and he fought hard. Aside from that, he has dangerously low blood pressure, the onset of pneumonia and is clearly dehydrated. We've had to place him in a medically induced coma for now, his body just isn't strong enough for all functions to be running. At the moment, we have him on the ventilator to help his lungs, but he's not stable enough for surgery. By the way he was clinging to Zeke, it's more than likely he hadn't moved after his brother died"  
Levi slumped, Mike grabbing him as knees refused to hold him. Just how much heartbreak did this kid need. Eren had spent a week curled into his brother's corpse... With Moblit's help, he was moved to the one chair in the room, fighting hard against his nausea  
"There's no signs of sexual trauma or assault, but we've taken swabs in case, as well as bloods. His surgery is scheduled for first thing tomorrow morning, provided his vitals improve. The needle was preserved, and the lab reports will be forwarded to us. Now, I know this isn't pleasant, but I need to know, did Eren take drugs?"  
Hanji shook her head  
"No. He didn't even love greasy food. He's a dancer and wanted to keep his body in peak condition. He indulged in a drink once every so often, but never drugs"  
"And he couldn't have hid the marks?"  
"No. There were no track marks or scars"  
"Alright. We've already documented all visible signs of trauma, and he's been sponged down. We're going to keep him under until after the surgery, then let him wake naturally. As we don't know what was in the syringe, there is a chance that he may experience a bad reaction to the sedation. There's also the fact the police are already hounding us to question him. I know I'm not going to be able to kick you out, but at the same time, I can't have you causing trouble for the nursing staff, especially when you're not even supposed to be here, or know anything about Eren's case"  
In other words he had to keep his temper in check, and let them monitor Eren without the fear of him losing control each time they approached him. Hugging Mike, Hanji sniffled  
"Thank you. I know you're not supposed to enquire, or reveal so much to us, but thank you..."  
"If you want to move some chairs in, go ahead, but m..."  
"Make sure we aren't in the way if he needs to be moved in a hurry. Despite appearances, I know the drill"  
"We'll be doing everything we can for him"  
Did Eren even want them to? With what he'd been through, was this the thing that snuffed the light out from behind Eren's eyes? The thing that broke him beyond repair? Fuck. He couldn't even bring himself to look at the kid. He was just too fucking scared he'd look up and find Eren coding  
"I know you will. I'll monitor his condition, and call if I notice any changes"  
"I'll be back to check on him in a few hours. You know where everything is"

Hanji couldn't stop herself from fussing over him. Adjusting his blankets, smoothing back his hair, before checking the IV lines, on repeat. Moblit had disappeared at some point, though Levi had the feeling that it was to get coffee rather than to escape his wife's obsessive behaviour  
"His vitals are improving"  
Hanji's voice seemed to echo in the room, pulling Levi from his mind   
"That's good"  
"You should come sit by him"  
Since his arse had hit the chair, he hadn't moved   
"No..."  
"Levi"  
"No"  
"But..."  
"I can't"  
"What do you mean, you can't?"  
"I just can't..."  
"I know things haven't been great for you, but Eren's back now"  
"I know"  
"You know? Really, because you won't even look at him"  
"What do you want from me, Hanji?"  
"I want you to come and hold his hand"  
"I can't"  
"Levi, he's sick. You know as well as I do that he could very well not make it through the night or through surgery. Are you really going to let your stubbornness get in the way"  
"I can't fucking do it. Ok"  
"No. It's not ok. If this was you, Eren wouldn't leave your side"  
"Well good for him! He might have the guts to stand there and stare down at me, but I can't fucking stabs him laying there like that! We have his fucking body back! What happens when he wakes up?! He spent a week laying next to his dead brother? What's to say he even wants to wake up?!"  
It was a shit thing to say. He felt shitty voicing everyone's thoughts out loud  
"Then... then we stay by his side. We help him"  
God. If only it was that easy. Eren was with Zeke for nearly two fucking months. Anything could have happened to him during that time. Absolutely anything.

Carrying in a tray of coffees, Moblit placed it down on the edge of Eren's bed, due to the lack of surfaces in the room. With an annoyed sigh, Hanji quickly plucked the tray back up  
"He's not a fucking table"  
"I... I know"  
Taking a coffee from the tray, Moblit carried it over to him  
"It's tea. I went down to the 24 hour cafe down the road"  
"Thank you"  
It was better than that soapy dishwater they called coffee here  
"I also called Marco, just to let him know Eren's been found. He wanted to come down, but I managed to convince him to wait until Eren was up for visitors"  
If his maths was right, Marco was now 3 and a half months along. He hadn't seen the omega since before learning of his pregnancy, and probably wouldn't even recognise him if he saw him  
"He and the baby need the rest"  
"That's what I said. He said to also let him know if we needed anything. Jean made him quit his job, and he seemed quite lonely"  
"He and Eren were very close. I hope they'll be able to recover that friendship"   
Choosing to ignore Hanji, Levi cautiously sipped his tea. The scalding liquid burning the tip of his tongue, in what he supposed was an act of Karma  
"Marco was very keen to see Eren. I guess it all comes down to Eren's mental state when he wakes. After all he's been through, I don't think he's going to be feeling too friendly, or happy to be awake"  
Finally! Fucking thank you, Moblit! Even if Hanji was scowling at her husband, it was nice to know he wasn't alone with these thoughts.

Eren's vitals were good by the time morning crept into existence. Mike had been back around to check on Eren twice, and to gently lecture them over getting some rest. It wasn't until Eren was taken through to surgery that Levi finally found his feet. He couldn't do anything for the brat now. He could only be left behind as Eren was taken from again. Hanji was supposed to start her shift in another couple hours, while Moblit was off for the day, leaving the pair of them to awkwardly agree that they'd just see each other later. As much as he wanted to stay, he needed to shower and check in with Titan. Eren would be in surgery for a few hours, which also meant he had time to nap before returning. He was damned if he wasn't going to be ready for whatever Eren threw at him when he finally woke.

 

The nap didn't happen. Returning to the hospital, he'd brought the clothes he'd borrowed from Eren with him. This way the omega would have something of his own when he woke. Avoiding Hanji, he headed up to the second floor, where the recovery rooms were located. Explaining he was looking for Eren, and that he was his alpha, his haggard state must have sparked some level of pity as the nurse tending the desk informed him Eren was out of surgery, and that there hadn't been any major complications. If it wasn't for the fact he was gay, he could have kissed her. He'd been sure he'd arrive to find Eren hadn't really been brought in, and that everything that had happened was all some kind of dream. Given he wouldn't be able to see him until he was moved to the ward, he was sent to wait elsewhere. Which happened to be the main lobby of the hospital. He was still sitting there when Erwin walked in, having come straight off his shift by the look of him. Taking the seat next to him, his friend slung his arm around his shoulder   
"Any news?"  
"He's out of surgery. Everything went well"  
"Thank fuck. I wanted to be here last night..."  
"But you were working. I don't suppose you've heard anything?"  
"You know how the network works, you always end up hearing something"  
There were some things you could only talk about when with people who did the job. It wasn't like you intentionally phased people out, but when they weren't out there on the streets and dealing with all the fucked up shit they'd seen, it just didn't translate over. They didn't understand. Besides. Gunther and Eld were both good men. The kind who wouldn't run their mouths off needlessly  
"Do I want to know?"  
"It's fairly basic. It's not like the police tell us everything. Zeke was stabbed to death from the look of it. There were too many wound sites to say which one was the final blow. The cops were already there when they arrived. They found drugs and money, but I don't know what's that about, or how true it is. I mean, I don't know Zeke, but Eren never mentioned his brother having anything to do with drugs"  
"No. Drugs don't seem Zeke's scene at all"  
"From the smell of it, Eren had been in heat pretty recently. The place was trashed, signs of an obvious struggle. Is Hanji here?"  
"She's gone straight into her shift. Moblit's off, so he was going to come back later"  
"Leaving you alone"  
Levi sighed heavily  
"I tried going home. Shat, showered and shaved. Even tried sleeping... I couldn't get the thought of him dying out of my head. He had a fucking dirty needle in his arm. Who knows what fucking filthy he might have picked up. Fucking Hanji thinks he's going to wake up be magically fucking better. Like everything is going to be fucking forgiven. I couldn't even hold his hand last night..."  
"I bet you didn't leave, though"  
"What good am I to him, when I'm a shitty mess?"  
"It's no good doing this to yourself"  
"I told myself I could move on, just as long as I knew he was ok"  
"We both know that's not true. If you could forget your feelings for Eren this soon, then they were never really there to begin with"  
"The fucking shit. He did this to me"  
"He did. And when he wakes up, you can tell him all about it"  
"I don't need your sarcasm"  
"I wasn't being sarcastic. I haven't eaten lunch yet. Why don't we get something to eat?"  
"I doubt I could choke anything down"  
"This isn't about you. It's about me. And I'm starving"  
Why the fuck was he friends with Erwin? 

 

*  
With Hanji working, Levi and Erwin were the only two sitting in Eren's room. He'd stirred briefly in recovery, before falling back to sleep. The nurse said he hadn't given any indications of trying to communicate, which Levi really couldn't get angry at him over. The kid had to be exhausted. Now that he knew Eren was on the mend, he had a tight grip on Eren's hand. That and the fact Erwin had corralled him over the visitors chair beside Eren's bed, making it impossible for him to do anything other than stare down at the brat, had nothing to do with it at all.

Eren had been showing signs of waking for the past hour, leaving Levi nervous. He didn't know what he was going to say when the kid finally did. He had so much to say, and yet, none of it sounded good enough. He could apologise for the rest of his life and it wouldn't be enough. Feeling Erwin squeezing his shoulder, he looked up to see Eren starting to panic  
"I'll get a doctor"  
Nodding, Levi rose to his feet  
"Eren. It's ok. You're ok. You're safe. I know you're scared and confused, but don't fight the breathing tube. Ok"  
Scared green eyes stared up at him miserably, Levi's own eyes welling with tears in response   
"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't there. I'm sorry we fought. Fuck, Eren. I'm just so fucking sorry"  
He wanted to take the distressed omega into his hold. He wanted to nuzzle into Eren's warmth and hold him close... instead he was pulled away from him as Erwin arrived back with help. With Eren's heart rate soaring sky high, the pair of them were asked to leave. Levi feeling every single second of his age as he dragged his feet. Eren was so fucking scared... scared of him. His words probably hadn't even reached him.

They were only in the corridor for a matter of minutes before they were informed that he'd fallen back to sleep. Doctor talk for the brat had panicked so hard he'd passed out. Allowed back inside, this time Levi kept his distance, while Erwin awkwardly stood in the corner of the room. Where the fuck did they go from here? How did he bring the gorgeous and curious omega back to himself? He could barely face reality as it was, so how did he care for someone who's whole world had fallen into pieces all over again?  
"Levi?"  
"Erwin"  
"He'll be ok"  
"I don't know. He's going to need a lot of help to ever be ok again"  
"Help we can get him"  
"Can we? He was terrified"  
"Because he woke up with a tube down his throat. You know how disorienting it can be coming out of surgery, let alone to find you've got something shoved down your throat and can't dislodge it"  
"No. There was something more there..."  
"I think you're reading too far into it"  
"I don't. He was scared. He was fucking scared of me. I don't know what to do. I never know what to do"  
"I don't know about that"  
"Then what? You think I have some magical cure?"  
"Not a magical cure, per say. I think you have a bond with him. Out of all of us, you two are the closest"  
"It was me who drove him to run away"  
"No. It was Zeke. This. All of this. It's Zeke's fault"  
"Then why did he look so scared?"  
Driving the heels of his palms into eyes hard enough for red to bloom across the black, he shook his head   
"I should go. Being here is only going to upset him"  
"He's going to be more upset that you're not"  
"No. He's going to... he... fuck..."  
"Look. Why don't you get some sleep? You can take the chair. Take a nap and wait until he wakes again"  
"Until he wakes again, panics so badly he passes out, and the whole process repeats?"  
"It won't be that bad"  
"You say all of this... but you don't know"  
"Know what?"  
"I don't know..."  
Erwin snorted  
"It sounds to me like a nap is just what you need. I'll wake you if anything happens"  
"Wake me if Hanji comes. She doesn't want me around"  
Erwin's tone softened   
"Levi, you know that's not true"  
"It is. I've fucked everything up. I can't keep fighting with her. Not over Eren. Not when he wouldn't want it, and not with his history. He's seen more than enough anger and violence. Even if it isn't directed at him, he will still blame himself, and that... I can't live with that"  
Erwin took a deep breath, before exhaling slowly  
"I'll wake you"  
Feeling like a small child, Levi mumbled   
"Thank you"

As promised, Erwin woke him when Hanji came off her shift. The woman looked completely wrecked, and it was now that Moblit also came to join them. Sitting by his bed, Hanji had hold of Eren's right hand  
"His chart said he woke briefly?"  
"Only for a few moments. He tried to fight the breathing tube, before falling back to sleep"  
"My poor sweetheart. Breathing tubes are horrible, but they're necessary. We're going to get you all better Eren"  
"Levi was the one who stayed with him when he woke"  
Erwin had no reason for saying that. None what so ever   
"He did? How was he? Did he recognise you?"  
He didn't want to fight, but Hanji really had her "mum" glasses on here. Whenever it came to Eren, her profession training seemed to crumble and it was almost like she'd never dealt with a patient before   
"He was fucking terrified"  
"A breathing tube will do that"  
"It wasn't the tube. I saw it in his eyes. He didn't want to be awake"  
"I wouldn't want to wake up to your ugly mug either"  
Erwin glanced his way, Levi shaking his head  
"Hanji, I know you love Eren. We all do. But you need to be prepared to accept he may not want to know us, or he may be simply too scared to let us back in. We all love you for your enthusiasm, and your special kind of crazy. It's just... none of us want to see you hurting if Eren freaks out because of his fear"  
"I... I know"  
"Do you? He may need professional help. The kind of help we can't give him. Are you prepared for that?"  
"What's the alternative? I fucking abandon him?"  
"No one is saying that"  
"No matter how scared he is, we'll find a way to work through it"  
It would be nice if life really worked like that. Eren had had a boatload of issues before they'd even met. Now the last of his family was dead, probably murdered right in front of him. Zeke's power over Eren had been so strong because the omega truly viewed him as his saviour, and now Eren had lost that. He'd lost his home and family all over again. If Zeke wasn't dead, Levi would have tracked him down himself... well, he would have kept trying to, as he'd never stopped looking for Eren and Zeke in the first place.

Eren took his sweet time waking again. Moblit had gone home due to work, as had Erwin. With Hanji for company, Levi had curled in the chair in the far corner of the room, while Hanji continued to stay by Eren's side. The change in the rhythmic beeps of the omega's heart beat had come first, followed by Eren beginning to struggle, both hands flying up in an attempt to get the tube from his mouth. Hitting the orange call button, Hanji grabbed Eren's wrists, pulling at them and scaring the omega further  
"Eren. Eren, it's Hanji. You're in the hospital. You're ok sweetheart. You're ok. I'm here now. I know the tubes a bit annoying, but you need it in right now"  
"You're scaring him"  
Hanji snapped  
"I don't see you trying to help"  
Coming over to Eren's free side, he ignored Hanji the best he could   
"Brat. I know you're scared. I know you've got questions, but it's ok. Hanji's going to let go of your wrists now. Ok. We're not going to hurt you"  
Looking from Hanji, Eren blinked at him through teary eyes  
"Yeah. I'm still here. Keep your eyes on me"  
Reaching down, he cupped Eren's left cheek. A small spark of warmth and affection began to form in his frozen heart  
"You're doing good. So good, Eren. Hanji, let go of him"  
Placing Eren's hands back down, Levi nodded to him  
"See. Hanji wasn't going to hurt you. You're doing good. Such a good omega"  
"Levi"  
Hanji's tone carried a hint of warning, but Eren was so disoriented, Levi didn't want to break away from the "training" Zeke had forced down Eren's throat  
"Good boy. Now, the tube has to stay in, but it's ok. You're doing so well"  
The words revolted him. As did the kind of flicker of hopefulness that came across Eren's features. Even with his pale and pained face, the brat was still trying to be good for Zeke   
"Eren, its Hanji. Sweetheart. You're going to be ok. Moblit, and Erwin and I are going to be with you, through everything"  
"Hanji..."  
Eren's scent had slowly begun to loose some of its rotten notes, but Hanji's words left him wondering if he'd imagined it. Eren was in so much emotional pain.

Entering the room, Hanji immediately began to explain to the doctor on duty what had happened. The man's overly cheerful greeting to Eren had the omega flinching. Asked to step away, the moment his hand left Eren's cheek, Eren's BP shot up  
"Levi, I'll take over. You go wait in the hall"  
It might have been conceit on his part, but Levi had the feeling Eren didn't want him to leave. Still, he was pushed aside by Hanji. Eren beginning to try and whine around the breathing tube, his distress evident as his verbal struggles began to turn physical  
"Eren, you're ok. You're ok. Hey, it's Hanji. You're ok"  
Fuck it. If both trained doctors were going to ignore the clear fact they were scaring him, Levi wasn't going to let it continue. Pulling Hanji back, Levi slipped forward so he could place his hand back on Eren's cheek  
"I'm not going anywhere. I'm so fucking sorry, but you're stuck with me. This doctor has to examine you. But I'll stay right here. Keep your eyes on me, and if you can't do that, it's ok to close them"  
"Levi..."  
Seriously. He didn't have the patience for Hanji. Eren was fucking scared of her, of all of them... for some shitty reason, and scared of him too. His scent was probably the only thing he could really pull from the haze he was in, and if he needed Levi's scent to feel comfort, he'd fucking drown the kid in it. Stroking Eren's cheek softly, the omega refused to look towards the doctor, but he stopped trying to claw the tube from his mouth, looking as if he'd just give up over it all. It hurt to watch. Eren started falling back to sleep, but the kid was fighting it. Each time his eyes started to close, his heart rate would increase   
"Hey. I'm here. You close your eyes and rest, ok. I'm not leaving you alone"  
The sad look was a silent plead not to let him sleep. Gradually Eren lost his fight to stay awake. Which was for the best. Eren's doctor commenting on how congested the omega's lungs sounded, so the tube definitely needed to stay in place. When the man left, Levi stripped his jacket and shirt off  
"What are you doing?"  
"It's for the scent"  
"Levi..."  
"He's so out of it, he probably didn't even realise he had visitors"  
"He focused on you"  
"I think it was more the scent. Hence the shirt"  
"You might not get it back. If Eren needs to be moved, it's likely to be removed"  
"Then it's a good thing I don't intend on leaving"  
"What about Titan? And you've been in those clothes..."  
"I told him I wasn't leaving him, and I'm not"  
Lifting Eren's head slightly, Levi laid the shirt out on his pillow, so Eren would be able to smell his presence   
"It's a good thing I brought your clothes in brat, I guess I'll need to wash your shirt all over again"  
"You have his clothes?"  
"From when I slept over after our da-trip to the aquarium"  
"Oh..."  
"Last time he woke up after being left by Zeke, he had nothing. It might just be a shirt and sweats, but they're his..."  
"I should have Moblit bring in some of his things..."  
"You should wait until we know more"  
"Why do you have to be like that? Can't we just... can't we just enjoy the fact that Eren is back?"  
"How? He's fucking scared and miserable. We don't even know if he realises Zeke is dead"  
"But he's alive"  
"And what if he doesn't want to be? He's said it before... he's said there were times when all he wanted to do is die"  
"He was getting better. He was happy. He was working again..."  
"And then he lost his job. He thought he lost all of us. His brother was murdered and Eren spent a week sleeping next to his corpse. He's not just going to bounce back from that"  
"He's not when you bring it up over and over. We all know he's been through some serious shit"  
Fuck. He didn't want to have this conversation   
"I told Erwin I didn't want to fight, for Eren's sake. I'm staying by his side, even if that means I end up hurting your feelings"  
Hanji mumbled something under her breath. He was 90 percent sure he didn't want to know what it was. Reaching down, he tucked a few strands of Eren's hair back behind his ear. He knew Eren was strong, but how much could one lonely omega truly bare?


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's probably a couple of mistakes. I did a stupid thing and cut flowers off a opuntia sp. they have itty bitty spikes and thorns that are super fine and like to embed themselves in your skin... they're arseholes... and I'm stupidly allergic to plants...
> 
> Also, I lied. This is Levi and Eren, back and forth. I have something planned for when Eren and Levi talk...

Coughing as the breathing tube was removed, Eren felt like absolute shit. He vaguely gathered that he was in hospital, mainly due to the horrible tube shoved down his throat... and the fact every time he opened his eyes, Levi was right by his side. He'd never thought he'd see the alpha again, and didn't understand why Levi looked so sad. He hated it. He hated the man's grey eyes filled with tears and a thin smile that felt way too close to pity, than concern. His leaden body throbbed as if he'd come down with a fever. His stomach rolling and gurgling, like it was trying to eat its self, yet the mere thought of food made him nauseous as fuck. Part of him wondered if this was what dying felt like... if it was, it sucked  
"Eren, it's ok if you need to sleep"  
That wasn't ok. He'd only barely woken up before the tube was being removed. Something as simple as a cough shouldn't have him so exhausted. Shit. The doctor was taking to him again. He knew he should listen, but when the man grew closer, he just felt so fucking scared. He didn't want to be hurt again. He didn't want to be touched or looked after. He wanted to curl into a ball and cry until whatever was wrong with him finished him off. If he could have ignored Levi, he would have. Yet the alpha's voice and scent were the only things he could focus on  
"Eren, it's ok. He just needs to examine you"  
Opening his mouth, it felt like a whole forest of something disgusting had set up residence across his teeth. He wanted to say no. He wanted to scream no... but all that came out was a nearly non-existent whimper. He didn't know this man. He didn't like this man. He didn't want this man anywhere near him. Placing his hand on Eren's left cheek, Eren tried to push himself as far away from the alpha as he could. He didn't want this...  
"Hey, hey it's ok. Hanji, why don't you go talk with his doctor outside. He's starting to panic"  
He didn't need a running commentary of his panic. He was very much aware of how stupid he must look. The man said something, his hand still against Eren's cheek. He wanted to vomit, his body trying to make the action, his stomach muscles clenching as nothing came out  
"Both of you. Out. Now"  
Levi lifted the man's hand from his face, the alpha replacing it with his own  
"You're ok. It's ok. Here, you need to breathe. Can you do that for me? A deep breath in?"  
He wasn't even sure he'd taken a breath until Levi nodded   
"Good. You're doing good. It's just us now, ok. Shit brat. I've fucking missed you"  
Why would Levi miss him? Wasn't he mad at him? He didn't understand anything and couldn't even tell the alpha that  
"Good. You're doing so good"

Levi was nice to him... but this was on a whole other level. This was the kind of nice he'd get after a stupid panic attack, when the man seemed scared that anything minor would set him off. He liked Levi better when the alpha was pissy and just saying what was on his mind. At least he understood him then  
"Your blood pressure's come back down. The tightening in your chest should be easing"  
He'd never thought to ask Levi he knew what a panic attack felt like. He supposed the man had dealt with more than one in his span as a paramedic. He just always seemed to know what to say   
"You gave us all a scare. You showed signs of waking last week, but then decided to pull a sleeping beauty. Even with all that sleep, you still look pretty crap"  
That was the Levi he liked. He hoped the alpha could tell he trying to give him the smallest of smiles  
"If I didn't know better, I'd say you like me watching you in bed"  
Oh god. He wanted to laugh, but all he could do was cough again  
"Sorry. I'll try and hold back on the lame lines for now. You should get some more sleep. I promise I'm not going anywhere, ok?"  
Why was it so easy for Levi to get through to him? His mind could barely remember anything. It was like his head was filled with nothingness. He couldn't even remember his thoughts as they passed... but somehow Levi made that ok? He really, probably, definitely should be worried about that. Leaning down, Levi kissed his forehead   
"Sleep tight, brat"

 

*  
Waking himself screaming, Eren couldn't remember where he was or how he'd got there. Every molecule of him wanted to run, and he gave it his best shot. Ripping himself free from his IV line and catheter, he was on the ground before he had any idea what had happened. Hands burying themselves in his hair, tearing at the thick strands as he tried to remember. Why couldn't he remember? Where was Zeke? Why wasn't Zeke here? Shuffling backwards, he screamed louder as his back hit the walls. The beeping of the hospital machines hurting his ears as much as his own screams, pained to the point he was oblivious to the warm puddle began to form under him. He couldn't stop screaming. Zeke was... Zeke was hurt. Zeke needed help. Zeke... there was so much blood... so much blood and Zeke wasn't waking up.

As strong hands grabbed his arms, he fought harder. His hands covered with loose strands of hair as he tried to shove his attackers away. He couldn't let them get him. He couldn't let them take him away from his brother. Zeke needed help. He needed him. He was taking him away. He... why couldn't he remember? What... why... why couldn't he breathe? Kicking, and snarling with his teeth bared, he fought harder. His body betraying him his a his energy failed to translate into fury, his blows barely taps. Lifted from the floor, it felt like was slammed down on a concrete slab as his eyes were cruelly forced open. The brightness burning through into his brain, as is someone was holding a lighter to his iris. It was all too much. 

 

*  
Having been with Eren almost nonstop since, Levi found it hard to be back at his apartment. Titan wasn't talking to him, no doubt because he hadn't been home and had left him to the mercy of Erwin swinging by to make sure the fat cat had food, water and a clean litter tray. He'd showered and shaved, before collapsing into his own bed. The hospital chairs weren't exactly comfortable when it came to prolonged sleep overs, and despite his thoughts being filled with Eren, he'd passed out and slept a solid 8 hours. Moblit was spending the day with Eren. Given how scared Eren seemed to be each time he woke, he didn't know if it was a good idea or not. Still, he'd left the omega. When Eren was discharged, he'd be going back to Hanji and Moblit's house, meaning even if Eren was scared, he wouldn't exactly be able to escape from the man. Refreshed from his near dead sleep, Levi had showered again, before cleaning through his apartment. His plan was to stop by and pick Eren up some real food, as well as bringing the omega the photos he still had in his possession, and a book to keep himself occupied with. Even if Eren couldn't eat solids, cafe soup was better than hospital soup. His alpha secretly thrilled to be doing something nice for their ome-friend. Eren wasn't his omega. The closeness they'd formed would have to be rebuilt, even if Eren really only ever seemed comfortable when he was around. 

He made it as far as the hospital carpark before his phone started ringing. Answering the call, he heard Moblit sigh heavily  
"What's wrong?"  
"When are you coming back?"  
Ok. Well this wasn't how things normally went, or at least not lately   
"I'm in the carpark"  
"I'll come find you"  
Moblit ended the call. Levi's stomach twisting into knots. He wanted to rush from his car to Eren's room, but with Moblit coming to him... it couldn't be good news.

When Moblit finally joined him, the man looked exhausted... and was sporting a black eye for some reason   
"What happened to you?"  
With a dry laugh, the man shook his head   
"Eren. He woke up screaming"  
"Screaming?"  
Eren was struggling to stay awake, and he'd seen a few blips in his heartbeat from nightmares, but as far as he knew, this was the first time he'd woken up screaming  
"He didn't know where he was. Hanji called me, so I stepped out into the hall. It was only seconds Levi. By the time I got back into his room, he was on the floor screaming"  
Fuck...  
"They've sedated him. He made a mess of himself and his bed. They wanted to restrain him, but with his scars, that would have only made it worse"  
"Did he say anything? I mean, other than screaming?"  
"When we went to lift him off the floor, he started snarling like an alpha. We got him up and onto the bed. He was completely delirious. He started asking and begging for Zeke"  
Fuck. With Eren being so out of it, he hadn't been able to talk to the police. Zeke's body was still being held by state morgue   
"They wanted to place him in a 72 hour hold"  
"Are you fucking serious?"  
In a 72 hour hold, Eren wouldn't be allowed visitors. It was probably the worst possible thing they could do for him  
"Hanji's doing everything she can to prevent it, or even to postpone it"  
That was something, he supposed   
"How are you?"  
"Honestly. I don't know what to do. Eren and I talked about his issue with male alphas, and not to take it personally"  
"But it still hurts like a bitch when he looks to you in fear?"  
"Yeah. He didn't even seem to realise who I was"  
"Is he allowed visitors?"  
"Not right now. He had an accident, so the nursing staff was taking care of cleaning him up. Even once he is, they'll more then likely keep him under some form of sedation"  
If they were going to keep him drugged to the gills, they may as well stick him the psych ward for the 72 hours. There'd been far too many drugs in Eren's system, and while he'd seen the pain withdrawal caused, it had to be kinder than keeping him in a haze  
"Do you need a ride home?"  
Moblit blinked, before nodding wearily  
"Yeah. That would be great. I came in with Hanji, but you know what she's like"  
"Yeah. I know it's fucking shitty, but if Eren was in his right mind, I know he'd appreciate the fact you were there for him. He really does think highly of you"  
"He said that?"  
"He did. He told me more than once how grateful he was that it was you and Hanji, and that he hated not being able to control his anxieties"  
"You two really did get close?"  
"Close enough that we had just decided to date, without the label though"  
"Sorry. I forgot"  
"It's ok. I'm well aware of my reputation as an Ice Queen. Eren however didn't get the message. He'd come in and flipped everything upside down before I had a chance to realise what was happening"  
"I know Hanji was teasing you both over getting together, but I guess I never saw it happening"  
"I didn't either. I mean, he's an amazing omega, but he's also an abuse victim. He can't control his anxieties and spent years being trained on top by Zeke, on top of whatever gave him those scars, and whatever it was that Zeke saved him from. I wanted to let him heal and experience the world. Maybe if I'd been more forceful, none of this would have happened"  
"Now you're sounding like Hanji"  
"In that case, we should get you home"  
Levi got the feeling that Hanji and Moblit's marriage was on the rocks. Moblit knew Eren needed help and trusted the hospital to act in Eren's best interests. Hanji did not. She insisted on triple checking everything, as if micromanaging the situation would solve the situation. Though if he was in her position, he'd probably do doing the same. Wisely keeping those deductions to himself, Levi drove Moblit home.

With Moblit dropped off, Levi returned to the hospital. Eren was still in his room, which was a small relief. Dragging the visitors chair back over to the side of the bed, he settled the soup cup down on the bedside table as he sat. Eren's room still smelt of fear and pain, but the omega's face was relaxed. He didn't know how he was supposed to explain to Eren that Zeke was dead, but he wanted to be the one to do it. Hanji was way too optimistic about Eren's mental condition, she'd try to hush him instead of letting him feel the pain... where as Levi expected the tears and screaming. He couldn't even give him a proper answer as to why Zeke was dead. 

 

*  
Blinking tiredly, Eren yawned softly. His body felt warm and heavy, while a comforting scent was soothing his anxious omega. Looking down, his heart jumped at the sight of Levi. The alpha was half-sitting/half laying, his head on Eren's right hand where his soft warm breath tickled along Eren's wrist. Gathering up the saliva in his mouth, he coughed slightly, waking Levi who must have been only dozing. Giving him a sheepish look, Levi scratched the back of his head  
"Hey, nice to see you awake"  
"L-Levi"  
Levi's eyes widened slightly, the tips of his lips turning up  
"Yeah. That's what they call me"  
"I..."  
He what? He didn't know what to say  
"It's ok if you don't want to talk. They'd got you sedated at the moment, because you had a pretty bad panic attack"  
"D-don't... remember"  
"It's fine"  
Now what was he supposed to say? He wanted to say something...  
"Are you hungry? I know you're on soups and fluids, but I got you the good stuff. Soup from a cafe. Not the hospital stuff"  
"N-not hungry"  
"Ok. It's here if you do get hungry"  
Licking his cracked lips, Eren sighed softly  
"I guess you're wondering what's been happening?"  
"Kind of..."  
"You've been here for the last two and a half weeks"  
Two and half weeks? If he'd been in bed for that long, why was he so tired?  
"You had a touch of pneumonia. Your left wrist and hand were broken, few busted ribs, and your right ankle dislocated"  
"I... don't remember"  
"It's ok. I just wanted to warn you that that cast you love so much is now a splint"  
"Ugh... no"  
"I thought you'd feel like that. Moblit and Hanji have been by almost daily, except for when they had work. Not that that's stopped Hanji"  
"W-why?"  
"Because we all missed you. We went looking for you, even went to the police. Whether you like it or not, you're stuck with all of us"  
"But..."  
"But nothing. We all fucked up and let you down. I'm not asking for you to trust me, or for a second chance. I just want to be here for you"  
Levi wanted to be there for him? What could the man possibly get from being near him? And...  
"Where's Zeke?"  
Levi's brow furrowed, a long moment passing between them   
"L-Levi. Where's Zeke?"  
It was slowly coming back to him... Zeke... there was so much blood. Oh god... it... it was pouring over his hands and wouldn't stopped...  
"Eren, I'm sorry"  
"No"  
"He'd passed by the time the paramedics arrived"  
"No"  
"Eren"  
"No. No... No!"  
The machine to his right beeped loudly  
"Eren, I'm so sorry"  
"No! You're lying!"  
"I wish I was"  
"No. No... no... not Zeke..."  
"Don't force yourself to remember. There was nothing anyone could have done"  
"You're lying... please tell me you're lying... please..."  
Reaching out to cup his face, Eren flinched away. He didn't want to be touched  
"I'm sorry"  
"He... no. I need him. I need him!"  
Memories rushed up. He wanted to scream, but nothing came out. God... there'd been so much blood. It wouldn't stop. And Zeke. Zeke wasn't moving   
"Eren, I know it's hard. I know you're scared. But there was nothing you could have done"  
Why was he remembering? Why couldn't he forget?! It was like a horror movie. He'd been the dumb useless character... while Zeke... he'd told him to run. He'd seen it again! He'd had watch it all over again... why wasn't it him? Why Zeke? He'd left him. Again he was left behind. He was alone  
"I want to be alone"  
"I don't think that's a good idea"  
"I want to be alone!"  
"Eren, I know this is a lot. If you don't want to talk, you don't have to talk to me. But I am not leaving you alone. You are not alone"  
"Fuck you. You left me. Everyone fucking leaves. So go! Get out!"  
"I am not leaving"  
"Get out!"  
"Eren, I'm not leaving you"  
"Why?! We're nothing to each other!"  
"We're friends"  
"What? Since when?"  
"Eren"  
"You don't know about me. You know nothing about me! You don't know anything about my fucking life! You have no idea the things I've done! We are not friends"  
"I know you're shy and awkward, until you get on stage. I know you wanted to die. I know you get anxious. I know you're not ready to talk about your past. But... weren't we working towards that?"  
"My past is none of your business. Working towards it? Why the fuck would I tell you any of it? Just because I let you between my legs, doesn't mean I love you, or even like you. You need to go"  
He didn't want to be saying any of this to Levi. He didn't want to be kicking him out. He mentally couldn't handle having the alpha here. He was a mess, and Levi, Levi was always so fucking good to him. He didn't want him to be kind. He didn't want him to be understanding. He wanted to be alone. Levi would leave when he heard what happened, so he'd rather drive the alpha way first. He'd rather set Levi free, than shackle him  
"Well, Hanji won't be in for another 4 hours. And I'm not leaving you to suffer through his alone. I guess that means you can either stop sprouting bullshit, nap or sit in an awkward silence"  
That wasn't about how it was supposed to go. Levi was supposed to get angry! Instead the man just causally continued like he hadn't insulted him, even counting out his three options with his fingers  
"Stop looking at me like that brat. I know exactly what you're doing, because I do the same thing. Fortunately for both of us, Erwin has an almost ungodly amount of patience, or you'd be having the conversation with someone who isn't me. I know you're sorry, so you don't have to say it"  
"I don't want to sleep and I don't want to talk"  
"Awkward silence it is then"

The silence lasted until Levi pulled out a book from somewhere. Settling back in his chair, Levi didn't even seem to notice he was watching his every move  
"W-what are you reading?"  
"I thought we weren't talking"  
"I don't want to be in my head"  
"It's called "To Kill a Mockingbird""  
"What's it about?"  
"Preformed prejudices"  
He didn't know what exactly "prejudices" were...  
"People judging someone based on appearances without knowing the full story, or bothering to even try to get to know them. It's the book I was going to lend you"  
"Oh..."  
"Pretty much. I think you'll like it"  
"Do you?"  
"I've read it more than once"

 

*  
Watching Eren, the omega was still crying. He was trying. The kid was really trying. Zeke's death had hit him hard, but some part of Eren was still in denial. He could see it all over his face... that and Eren had told him he was lying. Soon the second wave of shock was yet to set in. Placing his book down in his lap, he sighed softly   
"I could read to you. It might help take your mind off things"  
"Like Zeke?"  
"Maybe. Probably not, but hey. You could get so bored you fall asleep"  
"I don't want to sleep"  
"You don't want to do much of anything, do you?"  
Eren's lip quivered, his voice dropping as he whispered guiltily  
"No... I... I don't even want to be..."  
"Then what? What do you want to do?"  
"I don't know"  
"Ok. We still have another three and a half hours before Hanji comes. How far do think we can get?"  
"I... I don't know. I don't know the words"  
"It's no harder than Narnia"

 

*  
Eren really wasn't sure about this. His brain felt like it was having a meltdown, yet his actions seemed to be completely contradictory to that. He was sure the word was contradictory, Levi had taught it to him. If he closed his eyes, even for a second, all he'd see was Zeke. But whatever his brain was doing, it wouldn't let him grieve. He felt disconnected, and it was scary as fuck. His brother was gone. Yet there he was. Having an almost calm conversation with Levi  
"I... will you wake me if I fall asleep"  
"Do you want me to?"  
"I don't want to see Zeke"  
He didn't want the last memory of Zeke to be him being murdered. Not when it was the same for his mother. The two people who'd looked after him, both killed in front of his eyes while he'd been useless. He didn't want to see it again. He couldn't see it again  
"Ok"  
Ok? He got the feeling Levi wouldn't wake him. His chest already tightened with that knowledge. Picking up the book in his lap, Levi opened it to the beginning. The alpha starting to read as if he hadn't acted like a bad omega. Living with Zeke, his brother had told him all the ways he'd misbehaved. He'd shown him how to be a good omega again... he'd shown that bad side to Levi, so the fact he hadn't left confused him.

As he'd guessed, he must have dozed off. Levi's smooth voice didn't falter once as he read. It'd almost been like a lullaby, lulling him into a false sense of security. His dream was full of Zeke. Zeke screaming at him to run, while Eren fought the hand around his ankle. He woke to find himself purring in an attempt to calm himself down, flinching as burnt when he realised Hanji hand her hand on his. He couldn't stomach her touch. He'd thought it just mental, until his stomach rebelled and he threw up weakly down his front. Immediately trying to clean it up, he didn't mean to fight. She was only doing what she always did, trying to help. But each time she hushed him, or brushed against his skin, he'd vomit again. Zeke had been late home. He hadn't been able to stop them...  
"Hanji, let me do it"  
"I've got this, Levi"  
"It's nothing personal, but touching him isn't ok"  
How did he know that? He couldn't remember telling Levi that...  
"He knows I'm not going to hurt him"  
"When did mental illness ever have the decency to make sense? I can smell his fear. We already had to change his doctor over to a female because he couldn't handle males in the room"  
They did? He couldn't remember this. Placing her hand on his forehead, Eren whimpered as his stomach clenched. Hanji wasn't like those men... she wouldn't do anything like that... he didn't want to fear her  
"Sweetheart. It's ok. I just wanted to check your temperature. You feel a little warm"  
Didn't they have those ear thermometer things for that? Removing her hand, she started gathering his soiled blankets up, wiping his face off on the edge of what felt like the roughest one possible  
"Levi, there should be fresh blankets in the wardrobe beside you. These need to be washed"  
"S-sorry"  
He didn't know what else to say   
"It's ok, honey. We need to have a little talk, but I won't touch you, if you don't want to be touched"  
Eren shook his head slowly  
"You don't want to be touched?"  
"N-no"  
"Ok, honey. I understand"  
What did she understand? And why didn't he understand it too? Shivering as the blanket was pulled off, he looked to Levi   
"It's ok. She doesn't bite"  
"You're not funny"  
"I think I am"  
"Well you're wrong. Hand me those fresh blankets, then drop these ones down in the wash trolley. I need to talk to Eren in private"  
What? No. He had no idea why, and despite everything that had happened, his omega had decided Levi was the only one he could be near. It wasn't even something he could control  
"Whatever you want to talk him about, you can say it in front of me"  
"Levi..."  
"Hanji, I'm not leaving him"  
Hanji sighed softly   
"Eren, is it ok if Levi stays?"  
"Y-yes"  
"Then keep your temper under control"  
"Just let me get this out the room, then we'll talk. Right, Eren?"  
"Y-yeah"

 

*  
Finding a laundry cart had been harder than it should have been. His patience too thin for the bullshit, so his trip ended with him leaving the pile at the nurses station. Although he was only gone for a few minutes, he returned to find Hanji standing in front of Eren's door, talking to two officers he only vaguely recognised. At least now he knew why Hanji had wanted to talk to Eren. She wanted to prepare him for this. Moving to stand by her side, he crossed his arms as the pair looked down on him  
"Levi, Eren said he doesn't want us present while he talks to the police. From my medical point of view, I don't think he's mentally stable enough to handle a line of questioning without having a panic attack"  
"He remembers what happens. If he doesn't want us in there, that is his choice, though he isn't able to talk about without triggering an emotional response. He is also an unbonded omega, not on suppressants. Can you get a social worker in?"  
Hanji shook her head  
"No. There isn't one available at the moment. Eren isn't comfortable with male alphas as it is"  
And both officers were male alphas as it was... he needed another way... he didn't think Eren wanted to actually be alone, he just didn't want them to hear...  
"Hey Hanji, do you have headphones here?"  
"Headphones?"  
"Yeah. Do you have headphones here?"  
"Maybe?"  
"Go get them"  
Hanji hesitated, not getting where he was going with this. While generally they didn't have issues with the police department, the two alphas didn't seem at all happy with the idea of dealing with an upset omega   
"Levi, I don't think we can make the officers wait any longer"  
Looking both alphas up and down, he fixed the best fake smile he could  
"Eren will be ready to talk shortly. We just need to make sure he isn't going to slip into another panic attack, that will prevent him from telling you what he knows"  
"Make it quick"  
Hanji gave a mock salute, while Levi stepped towards Eren's door. The closer of the two officers placed their hand on the handle  
"I must insist that you don't speak with him..."  
Oh fuck off  
"You can insist all you like, but if he starts shutting down before you even see him, you won't get anything"  
"Fine, the door stays open"  
"That's fine"

Eren was chewing on his lip, his knees drawn up, but he didn't exactly look comfortable   
"Hey brat, the cops are here"  
Eren nodded   
"Y-yeah"  
"Don't worry. I know you don't want us here, but both of the officers are male alphas. They're not going to touch or hurt you, but I thought you might prefer not to be alone"  
"I. I don't want you..."  
"You don't want me to hear what happened"  
"Yeah..."  
"Brat, have you heard of a thing called headphones?"  
"What do headphones have to do with anything?"  
"You don't want me to hear what you say, and I don't want you to be alone"  
"You... you're going to wear headphones?"  
"It's either that, or I listen in"  
Eren shook his head, his fingers picking at his blankets   
"No... not that"  
"Then I'll use Hanji's headphones. I'll be right here, so you're not alone with them. If you need to stop, or you need a break, you can just pull them off or something"  
"You'd actually do that for me?"  
"You don't need to sound so shocked"  
"I... was"  
"You were upset and lashed out. It's going to be completely shit, but at least you won't be alone"  
"I don't deserve this... or you"  
"Probably not. You also didn't deserve all the shit you went through either. Once you get this over with, they should leave you alone for a while. I know Hanji's postponed this along as possible. This isn't her department, so she shouldn't have any sway at all"  
"They're all probably scared of her"  
Eren let out a small laugh, before sniffling. All Levi wanted to do was wrap his arms around the brat, and protect him from what was coming   
"Do you know them? The officers? Hanji didn't"  
"No. I think I've seen them before, but I don't know them by name"  
"I don't think they like me"  
"That's because they didn't know you"  
"I'm not a good person"  
"Enough of that. I've seen plenty of trash in my life, and you're considerably better than all of it. Save your voice for now, Hanji will be back soon"  
"T-thank you"  
"Don't thank me yet brat. We still need to get your through this first"

Hanji was pretty proud of herself. Shee'd lifted Mike's noise cancelling headphones. He wasn't impressed, though that was mostly with himself. It wasn't until the world was filled with rock music, that he realised how much he needed to know Eren's story. To hear what had happened to him in their time apart. He wanted to know everything there was to know about the omega, yet there he was. Suffering because he'd thought himself smart. It was too late to take them off, or turn them down. He'd passed his phone to Eren, so Eren knew music was actually coming through the speakers, and that he wasn't being secretly recorded. The best he could do was follow the conversation by the changes in Eren's scent, a scent which was making both officers uncomfortable. They didn't seem to have any experience in dealing with abuse victims, or experience in general. Usually a murder case wouldn't be passed off to a rookie, but if the drugs were low grade, or the dealer already caught, Zeke's death would become an after thought. People were shit, but there was always someone out there that cared. Eren cared for Zeke, but with no glory coming from catching Zeke's killer, the case was being half-arsed. Feeling Eren's fingers brush his hand, he took hold of it carefully. The cast preventing them from holding hands properly, yet it was enough to calm Eren's scent back down and enough to get him through the rest of his statement. Stopping the music, Eren tugged lightly on the headphone cord, asking him to take them off  
"What's up?"  
"They want to know where I'll be staying?"  
"With Hanji and Moblit Berner. They're already listened on all your official forms"  
The plainer of the two alphas nodded, before mumbling out something that was barely a "thank for your time", mixed with "we'll be in touch". The pair walked from the room casually, leaving him with a distressed Eren  
"It's ok, now they have your statement, the next thing you'll have to worry about is your escape"  
"Why are Hanji and Moblit taking me back?"  
"Because they adore you"  
Eren started to sob, his hand pulling hard on Levi's   
"I don't want to be alone anymore"  
Climbing up on Eren's left side, the omega turned into the hold  
"I don't want to be scared! I'm so scared Levi... I'm scared of them"  
"I know, but things will... you know what, that's shit. I can tell you it's going to get better, but we both know how shit that is hear. Hanji and Moblit have missed you every single second that you've been gone. I've missed you. Erwin has missed you. We all missed you, and now you're back, all we want is you to be happy and healthy, even if it wakes a while to get back there"  
"I'm alone again"  
"Have you got wax in your ears? You're not alone"  
"I am... my mums dead. Dad's dead. Zeke's dead"  
"That's your blood family. Haven't you heard, friends are the family you choose. Blood family isn't always all it's cracked up to be"  
"I'm not a good omega. I'm not a good person. I'm not good"  
"You are. You're the best person I know"  
"You don't know what I've done"  
"And you don't know what I've done"  
"I don't know if I can go back to Hanji's"  
"Why don't you give it a try? If it doesn't work out, we'll figure it out. You can stay with me, or Erwin? Or Marco even?"  
"Not Marco... fuck... What do I say to him? He probably hates me"  
Kissing the top of Eren's head, Levi rubbed his back   
"No. None of us do. I bet when you check your phone, you're going to find a hundred messages from all of us"  
"You kept my phone?"  
"We kept everything. Even the shark, and the dolphin, and the glasses. I did however clean your room up a little"  
"You kept the shark?"  
"Of course I did. Titan loves it. He's rearranged the bed. It's usually me, him and then the shark"  
"He's probably forgotten you. I've taken up so much of your time"  
"As long as he's fed, he's fat and happy"  
"Levi... can I take a nap? I don't feel very good"  
Kissing Eren's hair again, he nuzzled into the greasy locks  
"Yeah. You did really well today"  
"I don't feel like I did"  
"You did. You did so good, Eren"  
"Thank you. For you know..."  
"I do. And you're welcome"


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Errrrrrr I didn't know where to stop

Hanji wanted to throw a Welcome Home party for him, while Eren didn't want a party. They'd compromised, and now Eren was hiding out in his room, avoiding said party. Marco had already found him, his friend's stomach swollen into a small adorable bump, which his ear was against. Downstairs Levi was with Hanji and Moblit, after clinging to the presence of the alpha while copped up in hospital, his anxieties were now getting the better of him. He didn't know what to say, or do. It didn't matter that he'd missed Levi while he was with Zeke, nor did it matter that he'd ached for him during his heat. Even if it'd been 8 weeks, it felt like a lifetime had passed between them  
"Eren, you still awake?"  
Scratching his scalp lightly, Eren hummed up at Marco   
"Yeah. Barely though. I'm a terrible host. You're the one who's pregnant, yet I'm the one laying with my head in your lap"  
Marco laughed lightly. His friend didn't seem to care he'd disappeared completely, only that he was finally back. He'd spent the first hour or so, not knowing what to say. Then Marco had followed him up to his room, and made the first move. He'd assured him he didn't have to talk if he wasn't ready, for that he was grateful. Marco was so soft and sweet. He didn't want him to know  
"You've got a boot thing on your leg, and a cast on your arm. All I've got is a baby and indigestion"  
"You're going to be such a good mum. Do you know what it is?"  
"We decided to wait until they're born"  
"Awww. Either way, it's going to be adorable if it looks like you"  
"I just hope it doesn't have Jean's big head"  
Giggling, Eren had to agree with that. Something that big, just wasn't supposed to come out an opening that small. Babies in general were weird, but pregnancy was even weirder  
"It's still cool though. A tiny person is growing inside you"  
"One day, you'll have your own tiny person inside you"  
"I don't know about that. That means finding an alpha, and having sex and all that seems like effort"  
"What do you mean, finding an alpha? What about Levi?"  
Groaning, Eren rolled onto his side so he was facing away from Marco's stomach  
"That's complicated"  
"What's so complicated about it?"  
"I'm not in the headspace for anything. We got close... but I can't... I can barely stand being touched. I mean like, you're ok because you're an omega, but alphas... it's iffy"  
"You know, I don't think Jean would mind if you stayed with us"  
"No. This place is as good as any. It just feels weird being back"  
"Um... I know I said I wasn't going to push you to talk, but if you want to. I'll listen"  
"It's ok. It's nicer than the hospital"  
"Other than the stairs"  
"Yeah. I'm over them already. When we came home yesterday, Hanji sent me up to have a nap, then she called me down for dinner, then she sent me back to up to my room, then called me down again to see if I wanted to watch a movie with her and Moblit. 5 times up and down those stairs... it was definitely some kind of torture"  
"Jean's all paranoid about the baby. He won't let me do steps. I'm like 5 months. Steps are not the end of the world"  
"He just loves you"  
"He does. He's working a crazy amount of overtime so he can buy everything. I told him I didn't have to quit work, but he wants to take care of us"  
"You're lucky you have a good alpha"  
"I know I am. Do you know if Hanji's had any luck conceiving yet?"  
"I have no idea. Probably. I get the feeling that if she was, she wouldn't want to tell me"  
"Why not?"  
"She'd say she doesn't want me worrying or something"  
"I hope she does. Fall pregnant I mean"  
"Mmm. She'd be another good mum. The kid would be crazy, and Moblit would probably have a mental breakdown, but he'd love every second of it"  
Without really realising, Eren's right hand had moved to his stomach. His last heat had been rough. The need to breed, with Levi, and to be thoroughly bred into pregnancy physically hurt. He'd sobbed for the alpha, while Zeke was away for work. He'd nearly broken down the apartment door in his haze of need  
"I think you'd made a good mum too. Your kids would have such pretty eyes"  
"I don't know. I think I'd be scared for them to be an omega"  
"Things are changing for omegas"  
"Yeah, but that doesn't mean everyone is going to change. Sorry. I don't want to be a downer, not when this little ones growing so fast"  
Yawning, he closed his eyes   
"I think we could both use a nap. I don't even do things, and I'm still tired"  
"It should be ok, I mean, I should be ok if you want to nap up here"  
"You just want me in your bed and under the covers"  
"Can you blame me? You're nice and warm"  
And omega. And omega who wasn't going to hold him down, or try and bond with him. His omega was loving the contact of another person, something none of the alphas in his life could give. Moblit didn't even have to touch him for him to want to vomit, while Hanji left his stomach rolling because she kept forgetting about the "no touching" thing. He honestly didn't know how to make this situation work, when his nerves and anxieties, coupled with his retraining made the house feel so unwelcome. Even when it came to his room, he felt like he was invading and that he shouldn't be there  
"I need to pee again. Get comfy while I'm gone?"  
"I don't think I'd have the patience to pee every five minutes"  
"You should have seen the morning sickness then. It got so bad that Jean made a bed in the guest bathroom for me"  
"That's kind of..."  
"Gross and sweet at the same time?"  
"Yeah"  
"It was"  
Wriggling off Marco's lap, Eren waited until his friend was standing before crawling under the covers of his bed. He hadn't asked Hanji to invite Levi and Marco over, so as far as he was concerned, Hanji could deal with Levi. He and Marco both wanted to nap, so they would. He just hoped he wouldn't have a nightmare or wake up screaming, or even worse, hit Marco. He truly treasured his friendship with the omega, and even if it meant forcing himself not to think about everything he'd missed in his absence, he wanted to salvage it. He wanted to be there for Marco and his baby. 

Rubbing his swell as he walked across to Eren's bed, Marco smiled shyly as he climbed under the covers to join him  
"The baby was kicking again"  
"And I missed it?"  
"Sorry. They're super active, but seem to get all shy when someone's around"  
"So they're already taking after you"  
Teasing Marco gently, his friend took his hand and slipped it up under his shirt  
"Wait... there, can you feel it?"  
There was the faintest of movements beneath his fingertips, yet his heart swelled at the sensation. His omega piping up about how much it wanted a child. Part of him was still jealous it wasn't him who was pregnant, but the feeling of Marco's baby was amazing   
"Yeah... wow"  
"It's a little strange"  
"It's awesome"  
"Jean says he never feels it"  
"It's really faint. He was probably expecting a solid kick"  
"It's a solid kick inside me"  
"Mmm. I can't even imagine"  
Sliding his cast hand free, he rest it on Marco's hip. His friend starting to purr as he wrapped in one arm loosely around him  
"I really missed this. I missed hanging out with you"  
"I missed you too. I still haven't gone through all your texts, but I saw your ultrasounds"  
"It's ok. They're just mostly me talking at you. I haven't got that many friends, and being home alone gets lonely"  
"I promise I'll message back. I'm still trying to get through all the ones Levi sent"  
"Didn't Levi know you didn't have your phone?"  
"He did... he, um, he said he was looking for me, and he'd message me about his day"  
"You say you don't have an alpha, but I'm pretty sure if you told Levi you wanted to bond, he'd give you his mark in a heartbeat"  
He probably would... but the idea of being marked was scary as fuck. Having a permanent connection to one person for the rest of your life seemed an impossible dream  
"He's a good alpha. Hanji used to apologise for his bluntness and his crankiness, but he wasn't really like that with me. I don't know why"  
"Because you're cute?"  
"No, I'm all tall and thin"  
"And totally cute. Even with your moonboot and cast"  
Groaning, Eren buried his face in his pillow  
"I'm so over casts and boots and splints. Hanji said it has to stay on during the day until I've recovered completely"  
He had to take all sorts of pills too. Painkillers, mood stabilisers, antidepressants, anti nausea, vitamins. He was well and truly over taking tablets  
"How do you even shower?"  
"In a stupid chair. I wanted to have a bath last night, but that meant not getting the splint wet, or the cast and then that seemed like too much effort"  
"Doesn't it get wet in the shower?"  
"I take the splint and that off. And it doesn't get soaked like in a bath. Anyway. Tell more about the baby"  
"I've learnt that pregnancy makes you like super horny. Jean can't keep his hands off me"  
Wrinkling his nose, the omega shook his head  
"I said that baby. Not your sex life"  
"I'm just saying. All it takes is a whiff of Jean..."  
"Lalalala"  
Pinching him, Eren poked his tongue out  
"Fine. The baby is going great. Right on the track. Good vitals... good heartbeat. Tiny and perfect. We've been trying to decide on the nursery. I was thinking scandi-chic, but Jean was thinking more fun"  
"Scandi-chic has been done to death"  
"That's because it works"  
"It worked so well that everything looks the same. There's nothing really special about it. This little bean of yours is special"  
"They are. I don't know... there's just so many options"  
"Just avoid Jean's opinions and you'll be safe"  
"I can picture it now. A bright red wall for a newborn. It's not exactly calming"  
His voice shook slightly  
"Red isn't a great colour"  
Red was the colour of blood... red blood that didn't stop...  
"Eren?"  
His scent had shifted, betraying his miniblip of fear  
"Sorry. It's ok. Just, yeah. What about green? Or blue?"  
"Yeah, but do you know how many shades there are?"  
"We could, um, look at them together?"  
He didn't want to boss Marco into his ideas or ruin his dreams...   
"That would be so much help. I've been looking at everything on my own, well, when Jean isn't home to stop me and it feels like someone's split by head open, and everything is just melting out"  
"I don't think it works that way"  
"There's just so much! People used to raise babies in tents, and now they're like, each baby has to have its own room..."  
"Ok. Ok. I don't get it, but we'll take a look after our nap?"  
"Mmm. I have photos on my phone. I've like screen-shotted everything so I can show Jean"  
Resuming his purr, Eren's own omega began to purr back, feeding off of Marco's happiness and pheromones. Apparently it was common for omegas to feel maternal when around pregnant omegas, leaving him to hope he didn't just blurt out how jealous he was and ruin it all.

Neither of them actually fell asleep. After a few minutes, Marco started giggling before he started tickling him. Unable to retaliate without the fear of smacking Marco's stomach, he pled for mercy until his friend finally stopped   
"Isn't it funny. I was so tired before, but now we're lying down, I can't get to sleep"  
Sighing softly, he patted Marco's hip  
"Grab your phone then, we'll start looking at baby things"  
"I thought you were sleepy"  
"I'm not promising I'll stay awake..."  
"Hey, my tastes aren't so boring that they'll put you to sleep"  
"I don't know, I haven't seen them yet"  
"You know, if they do put you to sleep, it's a good sign it's going to put the baby to sleep"  
"I give you permission to baby me if I fall asleep"  
Marco groaned, shaking his head as he fished out his phone   
"Don't even go there. Since my breasts started to develop, Jean won't leave them alone"  
"They're so tiny and cute"  
"I'll give you tiny.... and cute..."  
Tapping on his phone, Marco pulled up his latest ultrasound. Eren awwed over the small image  
"See"  
"Very tiny and very cute. I yield. Now, I want to see everything"

Marco had what seemed to be thousands of screenshots, leaving Eren's head muddled. He could see why Marco was struggling, and understand why Jean couldn't catch up. His friend had so many ideas, and couldn't just settle on one. It was completely adorable. Marco's scent was so happy, his eyes bright as he talked a million miles a minute. Time slipped away from them completely, until a light knock interrupted Marco  
"Hey boys, sorry but Jean is out the front. He said he messaged?"  
Marco rolled over, beginning to climb from his bed  
"Thanks Hanji. We got caught up talking all things baby"  
"Did you two have a good time?"  
"Yeah. I'll see you soon, right Eren?"  
"Yep. If you get any more ideas, message me"  
"I might just message you anyway"  
"Sounds good. Hanji, make sure he gets down the stairs ok?"  
"You're not coming down? Moblit made cake"  
"He doesn't like the stairs"  
Turning back to look at him, Eren poked his tongue out at Marco   
"Dobber"  
"You started it"  
"I'm legitimately worried about you... and you're the one who said Jean won't let you do stairs alone"  
"I didn't think you'd use it against me"  
"It's all part of my evil plan"  
Marco rolled his eyes  
"I think that means he's staying in bed"  
"Yep. Thanks for coming over... I needed this. There hasn't been much to laugh about lately"  
His friend gave softened before brightening again  
"I know. Call me if you need me. Anytime"  
"I will"  
He wouldn't. He really wouldn't, but Marco looked so hopeful about it.

 

*  
Levi'd expected Eren to be a little distant now that he was back at Hanji's, but he hadn't expected Eren to be in bed with his best friend. More than once he'd caught the sound of the pair of omegas giggling or laughing about something. Something that Eren had sorely needed after his recent stay in Shinganshima Memorial. Hanji had gushed over how cute the pair of them where, laying in bed together. He hadn't meant for his alpha to raise its jealous head. He was happy Eren had a friend he could trust... it just sucked it wasn't him. He'd thought with how close they're gotten, and with how Eren didn't want to be touched, that maybe he was special. The omega had let him hold him. Had let him comfort him and be there. Now Eren had Marco, he felt discarded. Eren didn't even want to come down for cake, despite the amount of effort Moblit had gone exerted to make the beast of a creation, and he didn't have an actual reason for wanting to go check on the brat, other than fact he was curious and jealous. Passing him two plates of cake, Levi frowned deeply at them   
"You've been glaring at it since I came back down. Just go talk to Eren already"  
"He's..."  
"Probably not sure what to say. He's in a good mood, so go see him already"  
Standing next to her husband, Hanji elbowed Moblit's side  
"Uh. What? Yeah"  
"You have no idea what just happened, do you?"  
Moblit snorted lightly  
"I never do. Why don't you take that up to Eren? You can use it as excuse to talk to him"  
Laughing, Hanji shoved a kiss to Moblit's cheek   
"That's what I was saying. You should really listen to what I say more often"  
"Yes, dear"  
The pair of them were so in love that it was disgusting. Placing his plate down, he looked at the slice for Eren. It was way too big. The omega wouldn't even be able to finish a third of it, then he'd probably feel guilty over not eating it all. They all knew Eren had bad eating habits, he didn't need a guilt trip over them on his second night back  
"Go on. Go talk to him already"  
"I'm going. God. You two are as bad as each other"

Eren's door was open, Levi heart momentarily stopping in panic as the unwanted memories of their argument came back. He could see the omega laying in his bed, yet his alpha was still panicked. Eren had run once... what if he left them again?  
"Are you coming in, or staying out there?"  
Snorting at the brat's cheek, Levi walked into Eren's room  
"I have cake"  
"I can see..."  
Placing the plate down on the bedside table, he didn't know what to do with himself. Eren's room smelt more of Marco than Eren. The man's scent irritating his nose, and upsetting his alpha. His alpha wanted to protect Eren more than anything in the world, but with the scent of pregnant omega, it wanted to protect Marco too. Conflicted over it own confusion, Levi sighed to himself. He'd swapped suppressants again now that was back at work, so he was still waiting for them to stabilise everything  
"You can, um, sit. I don't mind"  
"You don't have to force yourself"  
"It's ok... having Marco helped my omega settle"  
Sitting on the edge of Eren's bed, he waited for Eren to pull himself into a sitting position before retrieving the piece of cake and passing it over  
"Holy shit..."  
"Yeah. Moblit got a bit carried away, but you don't have to finish it all"  
"I don't think I can stomach it..."  
Compared to everything Eren had been eating, the cake was probably was too rich for him to keep it down   
"Just try a small bit. It's better than hospital food"  
"Are you going to have some?"  
"This bit is all yours"  
"I don't want to eat on my own"  
"Just eat a little and I'll finish the rest"  
"Was he mad?"  
"Mad?"  
"Because I didn't go down"  
"Nah. He knows it's going to take some time getting used to be being back here"  
"Here isn't so bad... it's better than the hospital"  
"Then why were you hiding up here all night? Did I do something?"  
"You? No... Marco and I were talking about the baby. He and Jean decided not to find out if it's a boy or girl"  
If that was all, that didn't explain why they were laying in bed together, and not talking in the living room. If it wasn't him, then it must be Moblit   
"He looked happy"  
"He is. He's got so many plans for the nursery that he can't make his mind up"  
"As long as he doesn't listen to Jean, things should be alright"  
"I said the same thing... Jean made him quit his job, and Marco's always been so social..."  
"He's got you to talk to"  
"Mmm... I don't know how helpful I am though"  
"I'm sure you two can figure it out"  
Eren sounded excited about the baby, leaving Levi wondering if the omega wanted a child of his own. Eren would make a good mother. He'd been through so much shit, that he'd be a fierce protector of his pup  
"Do you want kids?"  
"I... uh, I don't know. When you have a baby, you're stuck with the father in their lives. If you leave your alpha, they're the one who gets custody... if I had a baby, I don't think I could give them up"  
He would never make Eren give up their child... no. They weren't a couple. He shouldn't be thinking of nice a well bred Eren would look, or how badly he wanted to be the one to sire his pups. Picking at the top of the cake, Eren sighed softly   
"Are you sure Moblit isn't mad at me?"  
"He's not mad. He just got a little carried away while baking"  
"It's not him. Can you let him know? I don't want to be scared of him, but the house is so big, and I don't feel like I belong here... and the stairs. I fucking hate stairs"  
"I'm glad it's not personal"  
"It's not. My nerves are just a bit messed up. Hanji makes me take all these pills. I don't like taking pills"  
"It won't be forever"  
"It just feels like it"  
Finally breaking off a small piece of cake, Eren popped the piece in his mouth, before pulling a face  
"That good?"  
"It's too sweet"  
Taking the plate back, his hand brushed Eren's. Eren letting go of the plate as he cringed from the contact  
"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you"  
"No. It took me by surprise. I was ok with Marco, so I should have been ok with you"  
"Eren"  
"No. It's stupid... I should be over this"  
Placing the plate down, Levi held his hands up as if surrendering   
"You're healing. You don't need to force yourself. We're happy you're here, even though it's not under the best circumstances"  
"You mean because I'm back only because Zeke died"  
"Yeah"  
Fuck. Just. Fuck  
"I think I want to go bed now"  
He'd stepped on the Zeke mine, now Eren was throwing up his walls, practically ruining all the work Marco had done to make Eren feel relaxed and happy to be back  
"Do you want me to stay?"  
"No. Can you take the cake too?"  
"Sure. If you need anything, message me"  
"Yeah. Sure"

Taking Eren's slice of cake back downstairs with him, Levi dragged his feet. He'd heard the start of Eren's purring before he'd even reached the doorway. The omega becoming distressed all over again, thanks to him. Joining Hanji and Moblit in the kitchen, Hanji sagged at the sight of the mostly intact piece of cake  
"He didn't want it?"  
"No, it wasn't that. After hospital food, it was a bit too much"  
Moblit sighed softly. He knew this was an attempt at making sure Eren felt welcome  
"Oh..."  
"We talked. You haven't done anything wrong. He's just readjusting to being here, and not loving the stairs, or the boot. Marco was a good idea. He was pretty happy to see him again"  
"I didn't even think. I should have made something lighter..."  
"Moblit. It's not you, and it's never been you or Hanji or even me. It's whatever was done to him in the past, and his brother was murdered in front of him by seems of it. It's shit. He's been sent back to step one and he's scared and lonely all over again"  
"Has he said anything about Zeke?"  
Levi shook his head  
"I accidentally went there, and he kicked me out"  
"I've booked him an appointment with his counsellor... do you think he'll be ok with that?"  
"As long as you ask him, and you're there waiting for him. Last time he was there he had a pretty big panic attack when he came out"  
"Do you want to take him?"  
"When is it?"  
"Friday afternoon"  
"I've got work. I'm still on probation"  
Hanji nodded  
"Then I'll take him, I thought maybe if you did, it wouldn't be so bad for him. I've sent through a fax to Thomas, outlining what we think happened, and Zeke's death. Also the needle thing. I don't want to believe he used, and his blood results didn't show any illicit drugs in his system, but his prints were the only one on the needle"  
Hanji had been "harassing" the police since they'd visited Eren. She was trying to get Zeke's body released, but as the case was "active", it may be some time before that happened. Even though he hated Zeke, he knew Eren would want to see him again, or at least know what happened to him  
"That sounds like a fun conversation. You spent a week next to your murdered brother, oh, and why was there a needle in your arm? Was it part of your psychopathic brother's training?"  
His tone dripped with annoyance. It should be up to Eren what he chose to disclose and when, and more importantly to who  
"You don't need to word it like that"  
"It doesn't make it any less true. Eren's gone to bed, so I'm going to go. If something goes wrong, let me know"  
"Oh... ok... now he's home, I suppose you'll be around more often"  
"That's up to Eren. Just go easy on him over the boot and the stairs. He already thinks he's still in trouble over returning to Zeke"  
"The boot's for his own good, and it's not like we change the stairs"  
"I'm just saying, give him space. Don't make a fuss over anything, even if it's complete shit"  
"It's easy for you to say that. He seems to trust you more than he trusts us"  
"That's not true. He can't control his phobias or fears"  
"I saw how you were with him at the hospital"  
"And now that he's home, he won't let me near him. He was fine with Marco, because Marco is an omega. If you're so worried about upsetting him by, you're only going to push him away further"  
Since when was he the one who seemed to understand this relationship shit. He didn't get people. He didn't get day after day in a happy relationship. He had no idea where any of this was coming from, but when it came to Eren, it just seemed to come semi-naturally.

 

*  
Living at Hanji's felt completely off. Zeke had taken special care to show him everything he'd done wrong. His brother had told him what was wrong with him, and now... he felt like he had no right to be moving around her and Moblit's house when they weren't there. It was strange. He'd... he'd missed them all so much. He missed seeing everyone... well, talking with Levi mostly. He'd struggled so hard to accept that he'd never see Levi again. That whatever they'd had, was now over. Zeke had gotten so mad when he'd mentioned Levi, his brother had thrown him in his room before he could even realise what he'd done wrong. He should have been happy to be back with Zeke, but he just... he wasn't. His brother had changed while they'd been apart. His words hurt just as much as when he'd hit him. He always apologised for losing his temper, but Zeke had started to scare him. Some days he'd be in such a bad mood, Eren would hide under his bed from him... until Zeke would drag him out and force him to talk. All he wanted was to be good, so his brother would love him. He didn't understand how he'd changed so much. How he'd become such a bad omega who needed to be retrained so thoroughly. He'd had two heats while back with his brother. His first heat was more or less normal for him. He could still function, but he'd slipped up. He'd thought of when he'd had sex with Levi, and how Hanji said that it was natural for omegas to touch themselves. He'd tried... he'd barely wrapped his hand around his aching erection when Zeke walked in. His brother livid at the action... slapping him so hard he tasted blood, before telling him it was dirty and wrong, before making him shower under the painfully cold water. He hadn't meant to be wrong. Zeke had taken care of him after that. He'd got him fresh pyjamas and underwear, before tucking him up in bed and apologising. Zeke always apologised. He only hit him because he cared. He loved Zeke. Zeke was the only family he had... but now Zeke was gone and he didn't know what to do anymore. Hanji and Moblit were both at work, and if things were how they'd used to be, he would have cleaned through the house by now. But that was wrong. That was invading their privacy. He didn't pay rent. He didn't pay for food, so he didn't deserve to eat any of it. He couldn't even pay them back for his latest stint in hospital. Or for all the medication he had to take. Levi had said they were happy he was back... but... he wasn't getting better. He still didn't want to be touched. He couldn't stay in the same room as Moblit for very long, and Hanji kept giving him looks of pity. So he spent his days in his room. Sometimes he'd talk to Marco, or Levi. But only if they messaged him first. He didn't want to disturb them. He didn't want to be a burden. Both of them were busy with their own lives, while he was simple just wasting oxygen. He'd thought about doing something about it... he really thought about it... but he was too scared it would hurt. He didn't want to hurt anymore. Everyday hurt. He missed Zeke, and he hated him for leaving him behind again. He was so fucking angry with his brother for dying. For making him someone else's problem and for the fact that no one would even talk about Zeke. He knew that was his fault. He always got so worked up when things some how turned towards him. Everyone wanted him to tell them what happened, even Thomas had tried asking... but he wasn't ready. He didn't want to see the blood anymore. He couldn't even remember Zeke's smile or scent... just the blood and the gurgling sound as it bubbled from his mouth. He felt like he was drowning and he didn't know how to pull himself out.

It was surprising how much time had passed like that. He'd already been out of hospital for three weeks. He'd seen Marco twice in that time, and only seen Levi that once. He knew Levi would be there for him, if he reached out his hand, Levi would take it. But everyone he'd reached out to was dead. His mother... she'd protected him... so had Zeke and because he was so stupid and useless they were both gone. If Levi died... he couldn't live with it. The man might be short and cranky, and have really weird taste when it came to music... but so many people loved him. Hell, he saved people's lives. All Eren had ever done was let them die. He wanted to be strong. He wanted to be better so his brother would love and rely on him more... then he'd gone and failed him. It left him physically sick. Hanji didn't know it, but when he was alone, he threw up. His fears would get so bad. His stomach knotting and rolling as he wondered if she or Moblit would really come home. Sometimes the nausea lasted for hours, and some times he felt ok after he puked. The medication was supposed to help with it, but he supposed it didn't really work when you were as useless as he was. Medication never worked properly for him anyway. Thomas had asked him why he wasn't on suppressants, then looked at him like he was a freak when he explained they sent him into heat. It wasn't that he didn't like Thomas... he just felt sure that the man didn't like him. He didn't even know if Moblit liked him anymore. He hadn't been able to eat the cake he'd made... or much of his cooking. Moblit always looked so stressed and tired, and if he was putting a strain on him, wasn't it better they just got rid of him? There weren't enough hours in the day to fix his kind of fucked up... so why was he even around? Why did they bother to save him?

 

*  
Parking in front of Hanji's, Levi climbed from his car. Both Hanji and Moblit were working, which meant Eren was home alone and after weeks of shitty split shifts, he'd finally got a rare day off, which he hoped to spend with Eren. He'd talked a little with Eren, and knew the omega wasn't handling things well. Hanji and Moblit had both said he spent most of his time in his room, so Levi hoped today's outing would perk the kid up. Normally he'd never set foot in a shitty filthy zoo. All the animals and people and shit. That was a nope. But Marco had messaged him, reaching out on Facebook to ask if he'd be up for joining him and Jean at the zoo. He wanted to invite Eren, but was scared his friend might have a panic attack from the crowds, or from Jean opening his mouth without thinking. They were going to meet up at 10, so he had just over an hour to get Eren up and dressed, before the drive. Shinganshima zoo wasn't a very big place, but like the aquarium on the opposite side of town, it conducted a lot of research, with a specialisation in breeding and trying to bring back species from the brink of extinction. Locking his Range Rover, he jogged up the path and to the front door, pressing he doorbell, before straightening out his clothes. He might have put some effort into looking good for Eren. The light grey shirt he wore hugged his chest nicely, while he'd coupled it with black jeans. Attempting causal without being a slob. When Eren didn't answer, he pressed the doorbell again, remembering how much the omega hated stairs. Giving Eren a few more minutes, he sighed to himself as he fished his keys back out, letting himself into Hanji's house   
"Hello? Eren?!"  
Closing the door behind him, he already knew Eren wouldn't be downstairs. Which meant heading up to his room. Taking the stairs two at a time, his heart dropped at the sight of Eren's open door. With how quite it was, his first thought was that Eren had run  
"Eren?!"  
"Coming!"  
Relief washed over him. Doubly so when the guest bathroom door opened, only for it to be snuffed out all over again when he was how distressed Eren was. Not caring about the fact Eren didn't want to be touched, the strode over to the brat and wrapped his arms around him  
"Hey... what happened?"  
Shaking his head sadly, Eren buried his face against his shirt   
"I don't know what to do"  
"Alright. Can you walk? Just to your room?"  
Sniffling Eren let himself be led back to his room, where he sank down onto his bed. Squatting down in front of him, Levi reached up and brushed his fringe from his face  
"Bad day?"  
"Y-yeah... s-sorry"  
"Wanna tell me about it?"  
"I... don't want to upset her"  
Her had to be Hanji   
"If it's got you this upset, I'm sure she won't mind you telling me"  
"I... they're going to get rid of me"  
"That's not happening anytime soon. She's crazy about you"  
"There... there was a positive test in the bathroom..."  
Positive test... oh... Hanji was pregnant...  
"I can't stay here now"  
"Hey, you know pregnancy isn't an instant thing. There's still months, and your room isn't the only room"  
"I... I don't want to stay here"  
Hiccuping out his words, Eren wiped at his face   
"Did something happen?"  
"I don't feel right being here..."  
Leaning forward, he swapped to kneeling so he could wrap his arms back around Eren   
"If they didn't want you here, you wouldn't be here"  
"It's all my fault"  
"It's not your fault. You haven't done anything wrong. Unless you're the one who got Hanji pregnant"  
"N-no... they have really loud sex... I... don't want to hear it... anymore"  
That's enough to scare anyone. They didn't know if anything like that had been done to Eren. They'd all suppressed the fact the omega had tested positive for syphilis, though he been treated and Levi hadn't even been told until Hanji accidentally let it slip when she'd explained the results from the syringe in Eren's arm had come back as free from prints other than his own  
"You've got your music right?"  
"Mmm... but... I can't stay here. I don't belong here. I don't belong anywhere"  
"Can I ask you a question?"  
"Y-yeah"  
"Have you felt like that ever since you came back here?"  
Eren paused, his voice filled with guilt as he replied  
"Yes. Hanji and Moblit try so hard... but I'm not getting better fast enough. Zeke showed me how wrong I was. How wrong I was for.. for touching their things and cleaning the house. He... he told me how wrong I was"  
Of course it came back to Zeke. Even dead, the arsehole still had a firm hold on Eren's mind. If Eren felt unloved and unwanted, and that his presence in the house was wrong, he was never going to make any kind of improvements. He already knew Eren was scared of sex, so hearing Hanji and Moblit boning didn't help either  
"You're not wrong. I'm..."  
Shit. He didn't know how else to fucking phrase this  
"I'm not saying Zeke was wrong, but everyone in the world is different. We all have different thoughts and ideas and different ways we get through life. What Zeke taught you, that was his way. It's different to how Moblit and Hanji live. I'm not saying it's wrong, only that it's different"  
"I don't know what's right anymore"  
"Eren, do you remember the offer I made you? I told you if you felt like this wasn't working, you can come live with me, or Erwin, or one of our friends"  
"I don't want to burden anyone else"  
"You are not a burden. Besides, I two spare rooms, and a cat that spends most of his time alone"  
"But you're an alpha"  
"And your an omega"  
"I have messed up heats... I don't want to upset you"  
"Eren, we don't have to spend your heats together..."  
Even if he really wanted to  
"... I can stay with Erwin, or you can come back here. The most important thing to all of us is that you're safe. I'm not saying you have to say yes right now, but think about it?"  
Eren nodded, still wiping at his tears  
"Why did you come over?"  
"Shit. Right. I totally forgot. We have a date"  
"We what?"  
"You, me, Jean and Marco"  
"Did I forget something again?"  
"No. Marco asked if I wanted to join them at the zoo. He wanted to ask you, but you'd need a lift so I'm just the driver. No pressure"  
"No pressure?"  
"I don't want you to feel uncomfortable, but I thought the zoo would make a nice change. You really liked the aquarium"  
"Marco wanted me to come?"  
"Yeah. He messaged me and asked when my next day off was. He also thought you might like another friend who wasn't Jean to hang out with"  
"Jean has a big mouth... I'm going to slow everyone down"  
"Why?"  
"The stupid boot"  
"The boot isn't invited"  
"But Hanji..."  
"Hanji isn't here and you've been cooped up enough. Besides, Marco is pregnant. We'll probably be taking things pretty easy"  
"No boot... promise?"  
"Yeah. Also, you have the best paramedic in the whole city with you"  
Eren snorted out a small laugh  
"You did save him before... I've... I don't know what to do. I've never been to the zoo before"  
"You'd never been to the aquarium either, but you still had fun"  
"I don't have much money either"  
"That's fine. Consider this an apology"  
"Apology for what?"  
"I don't know yet, but I'm likely to do something in the future I'll need to apologise for"  
"I don't know... you're really nice"  
"Not always. Just ask Titan"  
"I don't know what to wear"  
Eren seems to "not know" much more than Levi remembered him not knowing. The omega was a wreck of sour scent and insecurities. He'd known something was off, but Eren hadn't asked for his help. He should have found a way to swing by sooner   
"Have you showered today?"  
"That's what I was doing"  
"Ok. So what's wrong with what you've got on?"  
"They're my pyjamas"  
"I won't tell, if you don't"  
"I'm not wearing my pyjamas. I want to look okish"  
"For who?"  
"What do you mean "for who"?"  
"Who do you want to look good for?"  
"Me?"  
"I was going to say I don't think Marco would care if you showed in your pyjamas, and I wouldn't either. But this is something you want for yourself and you need to do more of that self care shit. Why don't you choose something, and I'll wait by the stairs"  
"Ok... I need to find my wallet and phone too... it's somewhere in here. I threw it somewhere last night"  
"It's probably flat them"  
Eren's lip trembled, despite the fact he was trying to pull himself back together   
"It's fine. You can use mine for photos"  
"But... what if you want to use it?"  
"It's my day off. No ones going to be stupid enough to try and talk to me"  
"What if there's an emergency?"  
"Then you'll pass it back to me, right?"  
"You won't be mad?"  
"No Eren, I'm not going to be mad. I know you like learning new things"  
Eren's small smile fell away  
"Zeke said I learned all the wrong things"  
"We just had this conversation brat. There's a difference between different and wrong. And everyone's interpretation of them. Ok. You didn't learn things that we consider wrong. Now go pick out some clothes"

Eren emerged from his room wearing jeans and an oversized hoodie. It wasn't really hoodie weather, but Levi could see a shirt peaking out from under the hoodie. With a tiny, shy smile, he had Levi's heart racing for all the right reasons. The kid had pulled himself together, and now he was facing the world that he was so scared of. Taking each step slowly, Eren looked to him as if he was proud to be doing something as simple as walking down the stairs. At least if the kid moved in with him, he wouldn't have to worry about the stairs anymore. He'd never really thought about sharing his personal space with anyone, yet he had the feeling that if it was Eren, everything would work out in the end. The omega wouldn't be left alone for hours on his own, Titan would make sure of that. And being in the city, there was always noise and movement, not like out in the suburbs. It would also be closer to the hospital, and to Eren's therapist... they could work to getting him to the point where he could attend his session alone. As for money, it wasn't like Levi couldn't afford to take Eren in. He'd grown up having nothing after his mother died, and had worked hard to get where he was, saving every cent from the shit jobs that got him through high school, then by some miracle, he'd found himself living with Erwin and getting into medical school. It wasn't until his estranged uncle passed that he finally had proper money to get himself set up. Once his probation passed, it would be like it never happened. His job stable enough that he didn't need to worry about finding another... or it would be, provided he didn't punch anyone else. If Eren came to live with him, then all the omega would have to worry about is cleaning up after himself and working out what he wanted in his own life. Levi could and would support him any way that was possible... though it might be his own arrogance showing, but he would be happy with that kind of life  
"Uh, Levi? Are you ok?"  
Blinking back to reality, he realised he'd spaced out while watching Eren. The omega blushing slightly as he stared back   
"Sorry. I was day dreaming"  
"Do I want to know what it was about?"  
"Titan"  
"You were staring at me, while thinking of your cat"  
"Yep. Let's go, before he finds out"  
"He's a cat and he's at your place. How is supposed to find out?"  
"It's a cat owner thing. They know everything, and they see everything. They don't even need to be near you to be mad at you. In all honesty, you never really own a cat. It owns you. Your house. Your furniture. The soul of your first born child..."  
"Cats sound funny"  
"They are. You should have seen Titan as a kitten. Everything was too much effort for him, that and his arse was too heavy. He couldn't even climb onto the sofa because that was too much effort"  
"Shit. That would have been adorable"  
"It was. Until he finally got big enough to climb. After that, no toes were safe"  
"What about now?"  
"He's mellowed in his old age. He much prefers curling up next to you while you sleep, or stretching out and making it impossible to move"  
"I've never had a pet before"  
"Titan would love to have the company"  
"You said "no pressure""  
"I know. I'm just saying. Anyway, in order to leave, we actually have to go"  
"Like outside the door?"  
"Yep"  
"God. The effort..."  
Walking over to the front door, Levi opened it for Eren. Eren giving him an exaggerated sigh before limping towards it  
"Does your ankle hurt?"  
"No, it's just stiff from that stupid boot. It'll loosen up"  
"If it starts to hurt, let me know"  
"Yes, Mr Doctor Levi, sir"  
"Sir? That's a new one, brat"  
Eren shrugged, heading out the door in front of him. Sir... he wasn't one for pets names, but something ran through him at the sound it it. Sir. Maybe it was Eren's answer to brat?

 

*  
Sitting in Levi's car, Eren wasn't sure about the zoo thing. He was happy to see Marco, but wasn't thrilled about seeing Jean. Even if Jean didn't mean any harm, he always just spat out whatever he was thinking. When he woke up that morning, he'd never thought he'd be going to the zoo, or having a breakdown in Levi's arms. He was just grateful the he'd showered after vomiting. He was happy and excited for Hanji, she and Moblit had wanted babies for so long. But he didn't know if he could handle being around a hormonal Hanji, or a baby. He didn't know what set off his anxieties, and often he'd snap over nothing, at himself. He didn't want anything happening near the baby. Letting his eyes wander over Levi's dashboard, his attention was caught by the gold chain looping down from around the rearview mirror, a small gold turtle pendant swaying with movement of the car. That hadn't been there the last time he'd been in the car... and it was so pretty, and something Levi wouldn't have bought for himself. His heart dropped a little. If Levi hadn't bought it for himself, then someone had gifted it to him. Someone important enough that Levi had it hanging in his car, where it was a constant reminder of that person  
"Brat? You ok?"  
"Yeah. Um... how much further?"  
"We're nearly there. It's not a huge place, but I think you'll like it"  
"Have you been before?"  
"Nope. This one's new to me too"  
He was right. Zoo's weren't really Levi's thing. Was Levi really ok with going to the zoo? Staring down at his lap, he mumbled at his hands   
"We don't have to go if you don't want to"  
"I didn't say I didn't want to go"  
"But there must be a reason you haven't"  
"Because I had no one I wanted to go with before"  
"You have Hanji and Moblit"  
"Can you imagine trying to go to the zoo with Hanji? It would be a nightmare. She'd probably just get us kicked out, or get herself lost"  
"Then why go with me? And Jean and Marco?"  
"Because you're not annoying, like Hanji. And before you say you are, you're not"  
"But... you don't know Jean and Marco"  
"No, not really. I know Jean is an enormous arse, and that Marco is your best friend. They're important to you"  
"That's to me, not to you"  
Levi sighed, the man drumming his fingers on the steering wheel as they came to a stop at red light  
"Look. What do you want me to say?"  
"I want to know why you'd do this. For someone like me. You just don't seem like the kind of person who'd want to go to a zoo willingly"  
"You really don't know?"  
What was he supposed to know? He felt like he didn't know much of anything anymore, not that he really had  
"No?"  
"You're important, ok. Just like Marco is important to you, you're important to me. Now I sound like a shitty idiot. I'd planned to take you at some point, Marco just got in sooner than I did"  
"You wanted to take me?"  
"Yeah. I saw how happy the aquarium made you"  
"But you don't like zoos"  
"I thought you would like it"  
"But you don't"  
Levi sighed again  
"Eren, I wanted to bring you out here. I wanted, want to do things with you"  
"Don't you get mad at me for not knowing anything?"  
"No, I don't. It's honestly refreshing, spending time with you that is. Now, do you have any more questions?"  
"No..."  
"You're not going to ask about the necklace? You keep staring at it"  
Sprung. He hadn't meant to be so fucking obvious  
"It's just pretty"  
"Do you want to know why it's hanging there?"  
Yes! No. Maybe. He did, but he didn't want to hear Levi had found someone special  
"You don't have to tell me"  
"I bought it for you. When we were at the aquarium. You were so excited over the turtles, and the stone reminds me of your eyes. I was going to give it to you at some point, but then you left... and I kept it up there. To remind me of you"  
"What do I say to that?"  
"You don't have to say anything"  
"I didn't think... that I meant that much to you... "  
That didn't quite sound how he'd wanted it to sound, so rushed to add  
"That you'd hang a necklace up and all"  
"Brat. You're really fucking dense sometimes. You know I care about you"  
"Um... I'm sorry. I... uh, didn't mean it how it sounded"  
So he was important to Levi! And the alpha actually cared about him. The necklace wasn't something he'd choose for himself, but he felt stupidly happy knowing Levi had chosen it just for him, and it wasn't a gift to the alpha  
"Give me a minute, you can put it once we reach the zoo"  
"You still want me to have it?"  
"I bought it for you, so yes. If you don't like it, you don't have to put it on"  
"No. No. I like it. Thank you"  
He'd been so down this morning, now it felt like he was in some kind of dream. Maybe he'd lost his mind? 

Pulling into the zoos carpark, Levi managed to find a spot near Jean's car. His friends were making out as if they weren't in public. Blushing, he looked away from the sight   
"I bet they don't even realise we're here"  
"Probably not... come here"  
Taking the necklace down from around the mirror, Levi undid the clip and waited for him to lean in. Placing the necklace around his neck, Eren's heart raced at the close and intimate touch across his nape. Whining softly, he wanted to throw himself into Levi's hold, but it was over way too soon. Pulling his hand back, Levi took the small pendant into his hold  
"It suits you, but it's only plated, so you'll want to take it off when you shower"  
"Ok, thank you"  
He sounded out of breath. Snorting lightly, Levi pulled back completely, the moment over between them. Leaving Eren slightly disappointed Levi hadn't kissed him  
"Oh, Marco's noticed us"  
"I suppose we should probably get out of the car then"

Jean and Marco were still straightening themselves out as Eren climbed from Levi's Range Rover, ending up with him seeing more of Jean than he'd wanted to. Rushing to the back of Levi's car, he shook himself off, feeling like the image of the alpha's spent junk was going to haunt him forever   
"You ok, you look a little pale"  
"I just saw Jean's dick... it... was gross"  
Levi laughed openly, reaching out and pulling him into a hug  
"Who would have thought shy little Marco had it in him?"  
"Of course he's had it in him, he's pregnant"  
"Fuck, brat. I've missed your sarcasm"  
"I've been traumatised"  
"They're your friends"  
Pulling away from Levi, he really wished the alpha hadn't hugged him. Knowing Jean and Marco were sexual deviants was one thing, but he didn't want to see it... now Jean and Marco were going to smell like sex. Couldn't they have got it out there system before they'd gotten to zoo? Or even once they got inside. Somewhere where he didn't have to see it!  
"Not when they're... can we just go? They can catch up"  
"Are you ok?"  
"It's nothing"  
"Eren"  
"It's nothing ok. Let's just go"

 

Marco didn't even seem sorry as he and Jean finally joined them. His friend was blushing, and they'd both sprayed down with scent cancellers, but Eren still stayed close to Levi. There were so many people around, that his chest felt tight... and he felt hot. The day was bright and sunny, not really long sleeve weather. He just didn't want Jean saying anything about his cast. Or asking anything about where he'd been  
"You ok, brat?"  
"I'm ok... it's just a bit warm"  
"Why don't you take your hoodie off then?"  
"No. It's ok"  
Pulling his phone out, Levi passed it over to him   
"Take as many photos as you want to"  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yeah. Go for it. We can get them printed if you want. Don't worry if you drop it. The case is shock and waterproof"  
He hadn't been worried about dropping Levi's phone until now. Taking the device gingerly, he now has something else to fear.

Armed with his own phone, Marco looped his arm through his, taking Eren's casted hand in his hold  
"Hey. I was hoping you'd make it... sorry about the carpark, my hormones are out of control. Anywaaaaay. We should get going, there's so much to see here"  
Levi had said the place wasn't that big... Jean slung his arm over Marco's shoulder, effectively pulling Marco away from him. If that was how it was going to be, why had Marco even invited him?

 

*  
Levi knew it wasn't Marco's intention to disclude Eren, but the omega was with his alpha and the pair were in a world of their own. He'd call Eren over to show him something, only for Jean to take Marco's attention away from Eren, and for Eren to retreat further into himself. He didn't like it. What was the point of even inviting Eren, Marco was going to spend all his time with Jean. He'd had enough. Eren'd been so happy, and each time he went to share it with Marco, Marco was caught up in Jean. Wrapping his arm around Eren's waist, he placed himself between the two omegas   
"Eren, can I borrow you for a moment. You guys can go on ahead"  
Marco frowned, but Jean kissed his mates temple   
"Just don't take too long, right babe?"  
"Uh. Yeah... we'll be around here somewhere"

Leading Eren in the opposite direction, the omega began to slow, before coming to a stop  
"Levi, where are we going?"  
"Just come with me"  
"But..."  
"Eren, come with me"  
"Ok"  
Pulling the omega back to the start of the mammal area they were in, Levi stopped at the large sign explaining what mammals are  
"What are doing?"  
"I can't stand it"  
"Can't stand what?"  
"Marco and Jean are off in their own world, and I know he's your best friend, but you look so sad. I know we've been walking around for a while now, and if I could, I would drag you all the way back the entrance of the zoo, so we could do this all over again"  
Eren's eyes filled with tears, the omega throwing his arms around him   
"You don't need to cry"  
"I thought I did something wrong"  
"No. You've done nothing wrong, and I bet Marco doesn't even know how bad you feel. And really warm..."  
Moving to place his palm against Eren's forehead, he frowned at the heat he found. A quick glance of the area, showed a shaded bench. Leading him over, he sat Eren down  
"Here, take your hoodie off"  
"Why?"  
"Because you're overheating. You're probably already dehydrating"  
"I..."  
"I'm a trained medical professional, listen to me about this, please"  
"I don't want to make a fuss about the cast"  
"Eren, I'm not going to make a fuss about the cast"  
"Jean..."  
"Don't fucking listen to that horsefaced arse. Seriously, after all the shit he's said to you... he's just not worth it"  
Unzipping his hoodie, Levi took it from the omega before he decided he still needed it on. The shirt Eren had on beneath was thin enough to see that he'd definitely lost more weight, again  
"Better?"  
"Um... yeah, it is"  
"We need to get some fluids into you too"  
"You don't need to worry about me"  
"Then don't do things that make me worry"  
"I don't mean to"  
"I know you don't. But I'll still worry for you, even if you tell me not to. Now, I'm going to go find you a bottle of water, you're going to drink it slowly, then we're going to back past all these animals, and you're going to tell me all their names, and if you can't read them, I'll break it down for you"  
Visibly swallowing, Eren nodded quickly   
"I'd really like that"  
Leaning in, Levi kissed his forehead  
"Stay right here. I promise I'll be back"  
"Really?"  
"You have my phone, I might hate the thing, but it's too much bother to activate a new one"  
Eren gave him a sweet smile as he ducked his head  
"I'll be back soon"

 

*  
Feeling like an idiot, Eren sat there holding Levi's phone. The alpha keep seeing right through him, like his walls didn't exist. He'd never thought Levi would pull him away from Marco, but with Jean at Marco's side, he couldn't really as his friend the proper names for things. Staring down at Levi's phone screen, he smiled at the photo of Titan that was his background. The fat cat looked smug as fuck, and completely adorable. Jumping as the device started to call, he eyed Hanji's name on the screen. Levi said calls weren't important, and it was wrong to answer someone else's phone, but it was Hanji... Levi wouldn't be mad if he answered? Looking up, he couldn't see the alpha anywhere, and he realised just how alone he was. Marco and Jean were missing, and Levi was missing. No. They knew where they were. He was the lost one. Drawing his knees up, he answered the call  
"Levi! Levi, Levi! Please tell me you're not working!"  
"H-Hanji?"  
"Eren? Is that you sweetheart?"  
"Y-Yes"  
"Oh thank god. I've been trying to call you. Are you with Levi?"  
"Sorry... my phones at home"  
"Are you ok? Did something happen?"  
"I'm ok. Levi will be back soon"  
"Honey, where are you? Are you alone?"  
"I'm at the zoo. Marco and Jean are here too"  
"Is Marco there?"  
"He and Jean are together somewhere"  
"And Levi?"  
"He went to get drinks"  
"So you're alone"  
"Levi's coming back"  
"Stay on the phone with me until he does"  
Eren bit his lip. Hanji sounded mad at him... she didn't usually call when she was at work, so he didn't think so message her, or Moblit to let them know Levi was taking him out  
"Eren?"  
"I'm still here"  
"Why didn't you tell me you were going out?"  
"I didn't know... Marco and Levi arranged it. Levi picked me up this morning"  
Shit. He was fucking crying. Like a fucking idiot. He couldn't stop. He'd made Hanji mad  
"Eren?"  
"I'm sorry! My phones flat and you don't call when you're at work! I didn't know... I didn't think.. I'm sorry"  
"Oh, honey. No. I was worried you'd taken off, when you didn't answer"  
He knew it. She was still mad that he'd left. She was mad at him. She hadn't forgiven him. He was still a bad omega... it wasn't... it wasn't like he'd thought he'd be gone for so long.

"Eren"  
Rushing to his side, Levi took his phone from him. The alpha sinking down beside him smoothly wrapping his arm around his shaking form  
"H-Hanji"  
"Hanji can wait. Here, I need you to sip this for me. Ok?"  
"She... she's mad at me"  
"I'm sure she's not. She's probably mad because I didn't think to message her about all this"  
Opening the bottle of water, Levi pressed it into his hand  
"Small sips for me, while I talk to Hanji"  
"I... I'll pay you back for this"  
"It's fine. Now drink up"  
It wasn't fine. He'd have to find a way to pay Levi back... because he was really thirsty, but he hadn't paid for the water. Sipping it, Levi smoothly explained everything to Hanji. Eren coming out and back in when Levi said he was taking him out to dinner and that Eren was spending the night at his. It only took Levi a few minutes to sort everything out, hanging up with a sigh   
"See, nothing to worry about"  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yeah. She jumped to panic mode. Then she thought you might be sleeping, so was going to send me around to make sure you got out of bed"  
"I'm not a little kid"  
"I know. Now drink your water"  
Eren pouted, but did as Levi said. Slowly he worked at the bottle until it was half empty  
"I don't think I can drink anymore right now"  
"That's fine. Just make sure you keep sipping. Have you cooled down?"  
"Yeah... will you um, help me with the names now?"  
"Sure thing, brat"

Most animals he knew the basic names for, things like the foxes were pretty cool. The fennec foxes were adorable, and so were the sloths in their own unique way. Meerkats were absolutely adorable, and one he hadn't known... but was able to work out the word on his own. All this things he'd wanted to share with Marco, he could share with Levi. His hand finding Levi's and not letting go as they moved from enclosure to enclosure, until they finally reached where they'd parted with Jean and Marco, saddened to see they were no where close   
"Hey, Marco really wanted you to be here. He probably didn't think it would end up like this"  
"I know... I mean, I know he hardly gets to spend time with Jean and their bonded and he's pregnant..."  
"I'm just sorry they don't get to see how happy and excited you look"  
"I probably look stupid"  
"No. You really don't. You, uh..."  
Levi paused to scratch the back of his head  
"... look cute"  
Blaming his burning face on the sunshine. He hated how good Levi made him feel.

Wandering into the next area, it was a large grassed picnic area. Marco and Jean were still missing  
"Do you want me to message them?"  
"No. They're probably, busy"  
"Well the left path leads to the birds, while the right leads to the reptiles"  
"Reptiles"  
"You don't want to see the birds?"  
"Birds shouldn't be kept in cages. It's sad"  
"I thought it would be because you don't like them"  
"I'm scared of them. We talked about this, I'm sure"  
"We did. So reptiles?"  
"If that's ok?"  
"Reptiles it is. Just don't think I'm going to be touching anything in there"  
"Wait. You don't like snakes?"  
"I have a healthy respect for them, when they're behind glass and no where near me"  
"You don't like things slithering into your bed?"  
"The only snake I don't mind handling is the one in my pants"  
Snorting, Eren shook his head  
"One eyed trouser snakes don't count"  
Levi raised an eyebrow, an almost smirk on his lips  
"You know that one?"  
"Mhmm. Zeke liked reptiles. Did you know legless lizards have tiny legs?"  
"I did. Although I don't know if I'm impressed or scared that you do?"  
"I didn't have any books. Zeke had a couple on snakes and reptiles... but they went missing"  
He'd only got to flick through them a few times before they disappeared from Zeke's room. He didn't ask what happened. If they were gone, then Zeke didn't want them anymore  
"Lets go see what they have"  
Would Zeke have liked the zoo? His brother didn't... hadn't seemed really into animals. They never had pets...

 

*  
Fucking Zeke. For a moment Levi thought Eren had his own interests in reptiles, but it came back to fucking Zeke. He was done with the man. They could cremate him and throw him out the window for all he cared. Holding Eren's hand tight, he walked into the reptile house with the omega. Eren had no way of knowing he'd once witnessed a death from snake bite. It hadn't been pretty. Not after being bitten a dozen times to the face. The tongue swollen so large the owners mouth was blocked completely. His tongues and lips purple and black, and the stink of the rotten body... nope. That was a big nope. Eren didn't need to know this. Leaning him over to the first enclosure, Eren's eyes widened at the green snake. It was tiny, barely noticeable   
"Imagine having a snake that small"  
"Really brat?"  
"It's tiny"  
"Still probably bigger than Jean's"  
Eren giggled, before covering his mouth with his hand  
"We need to find someone else we don't like"  
"I don't know many of your friends"  
"You'll meet them. Especially around Christmas. Hanji insists on starting her celebrations in November and going right through until January. Last year was a bit of an exception, due to her marrying Moblit"  
"Oh! Hey, do you know what 12 25 means?"  
"Christmas?"  
Eren frowned at him   
"What is it?"  
"Hanji told me to make it my PIN number, but I don't know why"  
Shitty Glasses. Eren had no idea it was his birthday, and no doubt she would have laughed to herself about it  
"Probably because it's Christmas Day, and it's kind of hard to forget it"  
"Wouldn't my birthday be easier?"  
"And more predictable. Let's continue through here?"  
He was done looking at snakes already. Even lizards were creepy fuckers, marginally better, but only by a tiny margin. They had scales. They were wankers.

And then it happened.

It was his fucking bad luck that they were giving a talk by the time they'd rounded the interior of the reptile house, Eren's eyes huge as they settled on the boa laying across the handlers shoulders. Taking a half step behind Eren, he was not ashamed to admit that he was fucking hiding. Snakes shouldn't be that fucking big, but at the same time, all fucking snakes should be that big so you can see those fuckers... but a big snake meant big fangs. Fuck it. Burn them all with fire  
"It's sooooo pretty. Levi, look at it"  
Nope. One of the advantages of being vertically challenged was that he didn't have to. Eren was tall enough to hide behind and brush it off as comforting gesture for the omega. A hug with his face buried against Eren's shoulder salvaged his alpha image  
"Mhmm. Pretty. Yeah"  
"Do you think they'll let us touch it?"  
"Probably not"  
The woman giving the talk continued on for a few more minutes, before offering "pats" to the crowd. He didn't even get to protest, before Eren was slipping out his hold and over to the snake... which seemed to take an immediate liking to him, it's vile form slithering up Eren's arm   
"You can take photos, but please, no flash"  
"Levi, can you please take a photo?"  
No. He didn't want a permanent reminder of this moment... but the bright look Eren gave him as turned back to ask was impossible to say no to. Talked through things by the handler, the demon spawn was laid over Eren's shoulders. Levi mentally glaring at the thing for making his ome... for making his friend so happy. Snapping a few photos, he nodded and the handler lifted the snake from Eren's shoulders. Thanking the woman, Eren returned to his side  
"Did you see that?"  
"I did"  
"It was so heavy!"  
Taking Eren's hand, the omega was too happy to notice they were making a beeline for the exit. Eren could basically as him for any other pet in the world and he'd agree, provided it wasn't one of those scaly abominations  
"That was so cool... I wonder if Marco would have held the snake"  
"He doesn't seem as brave as you are"  
Eren blushed slightly   
"I'm not brave"  
"I think you're very brave"  
"I'm not... I'm just doing the best I can, and it hasn't been very good lately"  
"Want to talk about it?"  
"Not really..."

Emerging near the nocturnal animal house, Eren swayed beside him. Levi barely catching him as the omega dropped, a hand coming to touch his forehead   
"Eren!"  
"Sorry. I just got a bit dizzy"  
"Just dizzy? Do you feel light headed dizzy, or sick dizzy?"  
"There's a difference?"  
"Shit"  
People were starting to whisper and stare. Eren was already recovering, but the attention would freak him. Pulling him up and close, the omega leaned heavily against him as his stomach let out a strange gurgle. He was such a fucking idiot. He'd had Eren walking around for hours without thinking about the fact he probably hadn't had breakfast   
"Let's find somewhere to get lunch"  
"What..."  
"When's the last time you ate?"  
"Last night..."  
"You need food. I'm an idiot"  
"What? No, you're not. I'm not hungry"  
"Your stomach says otherwise. Come over here"  
On the side of hell in a house, there was a map of the zoo. The nocturnal house came out near the cafe area  
"Ok. We're going to get food, then we'll double back so you can look at the nocturnal animals"  
"We don't have to"  
"Your hungry, and now I'm thinking about food, I'm hungry"  
He wasn't hungry. His stomach was knotted with worry for Eren. If he voiced his thoughts, Eren would only protest that he was ok. With how light he felt, Levi was sure Eren wasn't eating properly.

Eren tried to drag his feet as they walked through the nocturnal enclosure, but Levi wasn't having it. Making it through, the cafe area was actually really pretty. It had an Asian vibe, walled on two sides by thick bamboo stalks, the lush greenery swaying softly in the breeze  
"Wow"  
"Yeah"  
The cafe was set in an older turn of the century styles building, with a wide veranda area, the long central step lead down another decked eating area, after that was grass which circle around a flowing pond  
"This is so pretty"  
"Food first, then we can admire the view"  
"Oh. Hold on..."  
Sliding his wallet out with his left hand, Eren fumbled it into Levi's   
"Brat?"  
"Let me pay. Please?"  
"You want to pay for lunch?"  
"Yeah. You paid at the aquarium, so it's like fair, right"  
"I don't mind paying"  
"Levi, please let me pay for this. I want to do this"  
Letting go of Eren's hand, he took the kid's visa from his wallet  
"Alright. But only because you asked so nicely"  
"Thank you... it's really hard. Hanji and Moblit won't let me pay for anything. I don't like it"  
They didn't let him pay because they loved him  
"Let's find somewhere to sit. You look like you could use a break, in the shade"  
"I'm fine now"  
"Are you ignoring directions from a paramedic?"  
"I would never"  
"Cheeky shit"

Settling Eren so he had back and right side blind spots covered by the wall, Levi dropped a kiss on the top of his head   
"I'll be right back"  
"Can you bring back a receipt?"  
"You want a receipt?"  
"Yeah"  
He had no idea why, maybe the omega's anxieties were getting the better of him, or his lack of independence. 

Choosing two ham and salad rolls, along with two flavoured milks, Levi went to pay for it all with Eren's card, only for it to be declined. Even with their meal costing nearly $30, well it was $26 but that was close enough, it was still declined. He knew Eren should have money from dancing in his account, along with the money Hanji had insisted on putting in there to pay for the cleaning Eren did around the house. It shouldn't have been declined. Paying with his own card, he binned the two receipts that said declined, before heading back out to Eren. Settling down beside him, he handed him the receipt and his card, thankfully it didn't say that it was Levi's card he'd used   
"Thanks"  
"Do I want to know about the receipt?"  
"It's.. stupid. It's got the zoo details and stuff, and I don't want to forget today"  
Eren wasn't lying, but he also wasn't saying everything. Letting it slide, he pulled his phone back out, sending Hanji a quick text to tell her to check into Eren's finances. He didn't want to believe Zeke would sink low enough to take Eren's money, but he couldn't think of another reason why it would be declined.

"They're you guys are! Where were you?"  
Still mulling over the declined thing, he'd failed to notice Marco and Jean returning. Even more small red marks were on Marco's neck. Great. The pair were off fucking while Eren was hurting over thinking he'd done something wrong. Sitting down across from Eren, Marco smiled at him while Jean mumbled something about getting lunch  
"We waited for you guys"  
"Sorry, Hanji called and I got stuck talking to her. She didn't know anything about today"  
Marco groaned  
"The baby isn't even here and I have total baby brain. I'm so sorry. What do you think of it all?"  
"It's really pretty"  
"Isn't it? Where have you been?"  
"Just in the mammal section, then the reptile house"  
"Jean and I, went and saw the birds. You have to go. They have so many, and some of them are huge"  
Nice to know they'd "waited". Returning to the table, Jean placed a number down before sitting next to Marco, wrapping his arm around him  
"Where did you two go?"  
"They went to the reptile house"  
Eren nodded at Marco's explanation   
"I got to hold a snake"  
"You didn't!"  
"Mhmm. Levi got photos for me"  
"Why would you want to hold a snake? They're not that interesting"  
Eren slumped. The effect of Jean's words immediate  
"I don't know. The thing was bigger than him"  
"Snakes are gross"  
"He's pretty good at handling them, especially the big ones"  
Eren coughed as he choked. The connotations flying right over Jean's head  
"They're the worst. Nah. Smaller ones are better"  
Continuing to choke, Levi patted Eren's back until he regained his breath, still coughing slightly as he shook his head  
"The handler was explaining how the smaller ones, like newborn snakes are even more dangerous than the big ones. The don't know how to hold back the amount of venom they deliver, not like the big ones. You're more likely to die from a small snake"  
God. The brat was killing him. Placing his hand on Eren's thigh, he squeezed firmly. Jean just sat there and looked dumb, while Marco wrinkled his nose  
"I saw plenty of snakes growing up. I am in no rush to ever see one again"  
"Let's stop talking about them, yeah?"  
"Mmm. Sound good, babe"  
Kissing Jean, it felt like they were once again being pushed to the outside. Eren hadn't even touched his food after pulling off the tiny bit of bun he'd choked on  
"Oh! I didn't notice before, is that necklace new? It looks good"  
Eren's hand went to turtle   
"Yeah. It was gift"  
"It reminds me of the watch Jean got me for our anniversary, it was 9 carat with a blue face. That's what reminded me it"  
He wanted to shake Marco. If he was like this every time he was Jean, he'd have to seriously rethink letting Eren see him with the alpha around. No. Shit. Eren wasn't his fucking property. He had no right to say who Eren could and couldn't see. If he did say something, he'd be no better than Zeke   
"Levi got it for me, when we went to the aquarium"  
The aquarium was definitely always going to be a special place for them. He could see the fondness on Eren's face when he mentioned it  
"I like this place better"  
And once again Eren slumped at Marco's words. God. The kid didn't get it all. He was just trying to keep the conversation going, and really didn't realise how upset Eren was. He loved Marco, and Marco was hurting him without intending to  
"I'm not so sure. This place has its charms, but it doesn't have sharks and cat fish"  
"That's true. I haven't found another grump Levi"  
Breaking his roll up further, Eren picked the smallest piece to eat. His own roll had half disappeared between his words. He needed to talk to Hanji about Eren's eating habits. This was ridiculous... though if the omega did come live with him, he'd make him whatever he could, when he wanted. Maybe Eren didn't like things and didn't want to upset Hanji and Moblit?  
"So, what's going on with you two? You seem pretty close"  
"Levi's my friend"  
Jean snorted  
"Alpha's aren't just friends with omega's"  
Slapping his mates arm gently, Marco shook his head  
"Eren could be friends with anyone. He's so nice that he just seems to draw people to him"  
"You're the nice one"  
Leaning in, Jean nuzzled into Marco's neck, while Eren squirmed beside Levi. The omega wasn't ok with watching this. The omega hadn't been ok with sex before he'd left, this was probably an overload for him. He prayed to whatever powers were out there, that the food would arrive soon. This time, whatever or whoever was up there, actually listened.

Eren barely ate half his roll, until Jean teased him about how long he was taking. The omega finishing it in three more bites as if to piss Jean off. It wasn't the best reason to finish a meal, but Eren needed all the calories he could get. The omega may have had Zeke controlling his meals for years, and "teaching" him all the wrong things when it came to eating, but Levi didn't give two shits. What he'd like was for Eren to put on more weight. When he'd met the brat, he'd had some curves, toned curves that had fallen away. Dancing was a hard enough activity, Eren didn't need to be punishing himself over something like eating and trying to look beautiful. Yes the omega was gorgeous, and as erotic as fuck, but Levi cared for the spirit inside the body. For all he cared the brat could put on 500kilos and still be beautiful. He knew it wasn't Hanji's nor Moblit's faults that Eren's bad habits had slipped through their combined radars again. All of them lead busy jobs, their minds never really stopping to rest. He just cursed the fact the Eren felt he needed to starve himself because of Zeke.

Marco brushed Jean off after lunch, taking Eren by the hand and leading him from the deck while Levi and Jean were left to awkwardly follow while not wanting to talk to each other or even breathe the same air. He could smell sex on both of them, only serving to piss him off further. He knew pregnant omegas did tend to get ridiculously fucking horny, but most of them took care of it much more discreetly, and not while on what was a "date" with their best friends. Still. He pushed down his annoyance and followed back to the nocturnal animals, getting a few photos of Eren with Marco for Eren's sake. The pair had started whispering about something, and though Levi was sure it wasn't, he hoped there was some kind of apology in Marco's words.

From the nocturnal house, the headed back out and towards the exit, Marco saying he was getting tired, while Eren's face had paled. They made a quick stop at the petting zoo, Eren's face lighting up at petting two small deer fawns, while Marco got head butted lightly in the stomach by a third. Was it bad to feel smug over that? It wasn't like the tiny tap hurt the baby, it just felt like karma had taken its revenge in the way Eren would best approve... if the brat believed in taking revenge and all that. From there was the gift shop, where Marco practically dragged Eren straight through telling him how everything was over priced. That didn't mean the kid shouldn't get to at least look. He didn't know the money he'd worked for was gone. Following them out, Marco continued to cling to Eren until they reach their cars. It was there that Eren finally lost his stomach, throwing up at the back of Levi's Range Rover, while Marco backed away and shot him a worried look  
"It's fine guys. He got a little dehydrated before, I've got it from here"  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yeah. Thanks for today"  
"Eren, message me later, ok? It was good to see you again"  
Eren nodded, but didn't reply. He was leaning heavily against the back of the car. With Jean needing to get into his own car, Levi moved to place his hand against the small of Eren's back so the omega wouldn't be hurt while Jean reversed. Vomiting again, Eren whimpered as his knees started to fold. Fresh tears ran down Eren's face and his smell was rancid. The poor kid was embarrassed as fuck over all of this  
"It's ok. Here, hold onto me"  
"'s on my hand"  
Normally he'd flinch, even at work it was hard to deal with sticky hands  
"It's ok. Right now, I would rather keep you standing for the few more seconds"  
Leaning against him, Eren buried his face into Levi's shoulder, his words mumbled   
"I'm sorry"  
"No, you've got nothing to be sorry about"  
"I got sick"  
"So?"  
"I ruined everything"  
"Nope"  
"I did... I do"  
"You don't ruin everything. You've had a long tiring day, emotionally and physically"  
As Jean pulled away, Marco waved. Ignoring him, Levi lifted Eren off his feet and carried him to the passenger side door. Keeping Eren balanced with his knee, he fumbled his car open and got the omega inside   
"I'm sorry"  
"No more sorries. You're staying at my place tonight, and it's much closer than Hanji's"  
"I don't want to be a burden"  
"You're not a burden. I never would have offered if I thought you were"  
Clipping Eren in, he kissed the omega's forehead   
"We've got a half hour drive, so go ahead and nap if you feel like it"  
Nodding, Eren wriggled and tried to get comfortable. The zoo might not have gone over as well as the aquarium, but he still fucking happy he'd got to see it with Eren.


	20. Chapter 20

Dressed in a spare set of sweats and a hoodie, Eren was curled up with Titan in his lap. The fat feline was purring softly, while the omega snored. Getting Eren up to the apartment hadn't been a hassle, the omega tiredly asking if he could take a shower because he felt gross. Levi had expected Eren to complain, or to have forgotten that they were headed back to his place instead of home. In their absence Hanji had stopped by, dropping off Eren's medication with a small note telling him to "use a condom". He had no intention of rushing Eren off into his bedroom, at least not after watching the brat throw his guts up. And not while Eren was recovering. Being a gentleman, he'd let Eren showered first so he organise clothes for him, and straighten out the spare room. While he'd been showering, Eren had fallen back to sleep. If Titan hadn't been on his lap, he would have carried Eren into the spare room and settled him down there, but the pair of them together looked happy and comfortable. Titan really seemed to like Eren, which was a good sign considering he'd asked Eren to move in. Though his apartment was what Hanji called "sparse", it had everything he needed, and everything Eren would need. Erwin was the only one crazy enough to spend the night, and he was yet to complain. Thinking of the alpha, that reminded him that he'd asked Hanji to check Eren's bank accounts. His phone had been discarded next to this wallet and keys, but they were across the room, while he was in the kitchen making Eren dinner. In his time off, he'd found time to restock his pantry, with the help of online shopping. Finding a jar of cheese pasta sauce and a packet of pasta bows, he'd diced up some chicken and broccoli in an attempt to feed Eren. Normally he would have skipped the broccoli, if it was for just him he would have. Eren needed more vegetables in his diet, and it seemed to be the only acceptable vegetable available that he could add... and adding vegetables on the side seemed weird.

The quiet of his apartment was broken by his phone ringing. Turning off the pasta, he jogged across the room, hoping to get to the device before it woke Eren. He didn't. Eren groaned and blinked at him in confusion as Levi answered Erwin's call. Seeing the phone, he started to move  
"It's ok, it's just Erwin"  
"I can go..."  
Levi shook his head, waiting until he'd reached the kitchen before finally sighing into the phone   
"What do you want?"  
"I'm outside your apartment. I brought food"  
"And you couldn't have knocked?"  
"My hands are full. Let me in"  
Well there went dinne  
"Give me a sec"  
He'd jinxed himself. Thinking about Erwin had somehow summoned him. Hanging up, he threw his phone down on the bench. Grabbing out a bowl, he dumped the chicken and broccoli in with the sauce. The pasta still needed a few more minutes   
"Eren, can you grab the front door for me? Erwin's outside and I need to clean this up"  
"Ok..."  
Yawning, Eren stretched high as he rose from the sofa. His shirt hiking up and exposing his left hip bone and part of his stomach... fuck... if he wasn't gay before, he definitely was now. He wanted to suck a deep possessive mark on Eren's hip... before making his way down... shaking his head at his own pervy thoughts. He'd never touch Eren without his permission. Unlocking the door, Erwin groaned as he came in   
"Hey Eren. I might have gone overboard here"  
"Is.. is that all food?"  
"Food and beer. You know, the important stuff"  
Closing the door behind him, he heard Eren do the chain. He didn't know if that meant Eren felt safe, or feared something was going to happen and insisted on taking him down with him  
"Eren, you can settle back down. Erwin and I will organise dinner, ok?"  
"Um, can I use the bathroom?"  
"Sure. Do you remember where it is?"  
"Yeah"

Now that the pasta was finally cooked, he drained it as Erwin dropped the two bags on the counter behind him  
"So Eren's here?"  
"Yep"  
"Why isn't he at home?"  
"Marco invited him to the zoo, I was thrown an invite to babysit him"  
"Oh the horror. However did you survive?"  
Pouring the pasta into the bowl, he stirred it through. At least tomorrow's dinner was done. Half an hour in the oven and Eren would never know that it wasn't supposed to be a pasta bake  
"Yeah, well. It didn't go too well. Remember how Marco's pregnant? Well his alpha was there, and Eren ended up basically shunned. I wasn't impressed"  
"Is that why he's here? I just assumed Hanji and Moblit must both be working?"  
"No. They're probably home. Eren was pretty tired after the zoo"  
"And how's he going?"  
"I've asked him to move in"  
Erwin let out a long whistle, as Eren came out of the bathroom   
"Come take a seat over here, Erwin was just talking shit"  
"I don't want to intrude"  
He was going to ban Eren from the phrase "I don't...". The omega must have said it at least a hundred times today. Smiling, Erwin busied himself with the beer  
"It's fine, you're not intruding at all. Levi said you went to the zoo today?"  
"Yeah... with Marco and Jean"  
"How's Marco going?"  
"Good. He's 6 months along now"  
"Wow, over half way there. Is it a boy or a girl?"  
"They decided not to find out"  
Sitting at the small dining table, Eren watched Erwin. The omega didn't seem to mind him being there, but he was definitely on guard   
"Ah. Right. Hey, do you want a beer?"  
"No... I'm ok, thank you"  
At least the kid was sensible enough to know not to drink when was that dehydrated. Erwin pulled two beers out and cracked the tops, before looking at him expectantly. Levi didn't know what he was supposed to be doing now. His mind was off with Eren, worrying about the omega instead of remembering how to be a functioning adult   
"So are you getting the plates out?"  
"Right. Go wash your hands. Eren, Hanji dropped off your medication. Do you need to take any tonight? Or tomorrow morning?"  
"Tonight... I didn't take them this morning"  
"You can grab his meds off the coffee table on your way back"  
Erwin gave him a mock salute, walking off with his beer. Taking the take away containers out the bag, Levi stacked them back up and carried them over to the dining table   
"Sorry. I didn't know he'd be dropping over"  
"It's ok. If you want me to go..."  
"No. You're not going anywhere. You're my guest, he's just... furniture"  
Eren snorted, before covering his mouth   
"Just ignore him. I'll grab the plates, then grab you some water. You're probably still dehydrated"  
"Do you want any help?"  
"No, I've got this"  
"Oh, ok"  
Unable to help himself, he leaned down to kiss Eren on the top of the head, but the omega moved away. Well... that was slightly awkward   
"Sorry"  
"No. That was my fault. I wasn't thinking"  
"I... uh..."  
"Eren, you don't need to apologise or feel awkward. Do you remember what I told you?"  
"You tell me a lot of things"  
"Probably. I just mean... I don't want to make you feel awkward or anxious or upset. I didn't think about how you'd feel, and I know you don't know Erwin as well as I do. He cares about you, and he's kind of... my Hanji"  
"Your Hanji?"  
"Overbearing and worries too much, but his heart's in the right place"  
"I... I'm not scared. Maybe, anxious"  
"We're going to eat dinner and have a few beers, probably followed by some really crappy movie. If you want to go to bed, you can go anytime you want or need. The spare room is just in there, that first door. Titan's probably going to be in there, if you don't mind sharing with a fat cat"  
"Thank you"  
"You're welcome. If you do decide to move in, that will be your room. I need to grab those plates now"  
Reaching out with his cast hand, Eren grabbed his shirt, tugging him gently closer. Wrapping his arms around him, Eren gave him a quick hug before releasing him. From the bathroom of the doorway, Erwin was looking smug. Shooting him a glare, Levi headed back to the kitchen, ignoring Erwin completely.

Conjuring a random chair from Levi's room, the three of them sat around the small dining table, which wasn't really made for three  
"So Eren, did you see anything interesting at the zoo?"  
"The snakes... they were kind of cool"  
"The danger noodles weren't cool"  
Erwin laughed  
"Sorry Eren, Levi really doesn't like snakes"  
"I noticed. But he was really cool. He took a few photos for me"  
"You willingly took photos of snakes?"  
"Eren decided he needed to have one of those scaly soul drainers draped over his shoulders"  
"It was harmless. It's a boa. They squeeze their prey to death"  
"You really had a snake wrapped around you?"  
"It was just over my shoulders and down my arm... Levi took photos"  
"That was a one off"  
"The foxes were cool too"  
Serving up for the three of them, it was hard when he wanted to dump the lot on Eren's plate and tell him to eat it all. Instead he started with a small portion for the three of them, Erwin following his lead and not saying anything about it  
"Foxes. What kind?"  
"Fen.. um..."  
"Fennec. And bat-eared"  
"Did you know you can keep fennec foxes as pets?"  
Eren shook his head  
"I don't think I want one as pet"  
"You don't?"  
"Some animals are better out in the wild"  
"That's very true. What about Titan?"  
Eren wrinkled his brow  
"What about him?"  
"Erwin, don't confuse him. You went from talking about the zoo, to talking about Titan"  
"I meant, what do you think Titan would think of the wild?"  
"Oh. He'd miss Levi. And his food. He's so fluffy, but heavy too. I don't think he'd be too happy"  
"No. He wouldn't. The arsehole rules this house"  
"He's not an arsehole... he's nice"  
"Trust me, he's nice until he gets what he wants. If he could buy his own food and empty his own litter tray, he wouldn't need me"  
"Don't be like that Levi, we all know how attached to that cat you are"  
"After Hanji dumped him on me"  
"He complains all the time, but he'd be lost without Titan"  
"I don't complain all the time"  
"He really does. Everything has to be clean and in its place. Watch, the moment we finish dinner, he'll be washing the dishes"  
Eren looked to him confusion  
"Isn't that what you're supposed to do? If you leave them, they're harder to do and it smells"  
Erwin laughed, choking on his beer   
"Oh. He is perfect for you. You've met your soulmate in this one"  
Levi loathed the term "soulmate" but couldn't deny it did feel incredibly right being with Eren   
"What did Hanji say... oh, that's right. The first time he met you, he said you looked constipated, before throwing out some awful pick-up lines"  
"My pick-up lines aren't awful"  
Eren picked up his fork, before placing it down and picking up his medication. The omega didn't really look happy at Erwin's joke  
"I'd take listening to Eren, over listening to your failed attempts any time"  
"My attempts aren't failures"  
"He strikes out all the time"  
"What Levi doesn't realise is that I know how much it gets under his skin, it's become a game to see how irritated I can make him"  
"Because you're a wanker"  
"His nickname is Ice Queen. Levi's become famous at saying no. He's quite popular with the women"  
"Yeah. Except for the fact I'm gay"  
"That never stopped them"  
"I really wish it would. I'm not interested"  
Zero interest outside of Eren, and that all depended on Eren. He wanted to treat him preciously, but he wasn't going to force anything on him... like the stupid kiss before. Taking his pills, Eren stared down at his plate. The kid still hadn't eaten, where as he and Erwin had both finished their served portions. If he didn't feed Erwin, the man might open his mouth and pull a Jean. Piling more food on his and Erwin's plate, he wished he knew the right words to get Eren to eat. Eren waited a few moments, before pushing his chair back  
"Sorry. I need the bathroom"

Eren fled. Levi sighing to himself as he did. Placing down his knife and fork, he pushed his own chair back  
"Is he ok?"  
"Yeah. No. Not really. His weight is starting to become an issue. Zeke used to control his diet. I think he was getting better at eating, but being with Zeke again fucked that up. I need to check on him"  
"Does Hanji know?"  
"I'm not completely sure. She and Moblit are trying their hardest, but they're not home and he's still anxious and scared"  
"I think he's vomiting"  
"He's already done that today. We might be a while"  
"Should I go?"  
"No. He'll think he's done something wrong. Just sit here and drink your beer"

Eren was curled over the toilet. The omega having thrown up a few handfuls of watery vomit. His whole body was shaking, as he whimpered softly. Walking over to him, Levi lowered himself to the bathroom floor, wrapping an arm around Eren's shoulder's and pulling him close  
"What's wrong?"  
"I..."  
"Eren, what's wrong? Was it dinner?"  
"I... can't eat"  
"You can't eat?"  
"No..."  
"Why not?"  
"Zeke told me... told me I can't"  
"Zeke isn't here"  
"He said... I shouldn't eat what I haven't paid for..."  
So Eren couldn't eat lunch unless he'd paid for it. Hanji didn't ask him for food money, so he felt he couldn't eat their food... no wonder the kid had been so fucking light  
"Eren. No"  
"I don't want to be bad"  
"You're not being bad by eating"  
"But if I eat, then it means less for you and Erwin"  
"Erwin always buys too much"  
"Zeke..."  
"Eren, Zeke is gone. He's not going to want you to starve yourself to death. He loved you, right?"  
"I don't know anymore... I couldn't save him"  
"I could have been there, and I couldn't have saved him. I'm sorry he died, but you need to live your own life now. Erwin brought dinner, enough for all of us. You're not taking away food, and you're not going to get any better if you don't eat. I don't expect you to go out there and eat everything, but please eat something"  
"You're not mad?"  
"No. I'm not mad at you at all. And when you move in, I'm going to put you to work"  
"Work?"  
"Yep. While I'm at work, I want you here, reading and learning new things. Taking care of Titan and looking after the apartment. That's your rent. When your hands all healed up, we can think about getting you a job. Getting you set up properly. Maybe even seeing about classes?"  
"Classes? I'm stupid"  
"You are not stupid at all. We're going to take this slow, but together"  
"Levi... why do you make me feel like this?"  
"Like what?"  
"Like everything will be ok. Like I can talk to you. Like... I like you"  
"Honestly. I have no fucking idea. I'm short, old and socially awkward. But you. I just keep doing what comes naturally, and occasionally fuck it up. But I want you to be happy. Happy and ok. I know you don't want us to worry. I know you don't want to be a burden. I don't find you a burden"  
"I do everything wrong"  
"No you don't"  
Eren looked up at him   
"If I move in, do you promise not to ask what happened"  
"Eren..."  
"I... I can't stop thinking about it. I keep seeing it. All the time. I don't want that... please. If I move in, please don't ask me. I can't tell, not now"  
Not now. That was better than not ever. He'd prefer if Eren did tell him. But "not now" didn't mean not ever  
"If you make a promise"  
"What?"  
"To see this as your home. Titan as your cat. The food in the fridge as your food too. I can see about getting a lock for your room. So you can have your heats in privacy"  
"My home was with Zeke..."  
"And your home can be here. I have work at all kinds of hours, but I'll always come home to here"  
"A home where you're waiting sounds... scary"  
"Good scary?"  
"Nervous scary... I'm not smart. I don't have a family. I don't have money and I can't even drive. I'm in therapy and even my therapist doesn't like me. My heats are messed up and I never know when they're coming. I don't even know how have a proper heat or how to take care of myself. I hurt myself. I don't know why... Levi, I don't want to waste your time. I don't... I don't want to ruin you... anyone but you. I don't want you to regret this"  
"I promise you I'm not going to regret this. You're already all I fucking think about. I wish you could see all the good things I see in you. You're more than just your bright eyes, brat. You're curious. You respect others. You care for others. You're not happy with just accepting being an omega. You want more. You want to learn. Today, you walked up and took that snake like it was nothing. You're brave"  
"I have nightmares"  
"You've told me that before"  
"Sometimes I wake up screaming"  
"Do you remember when you told me you have nightmares and I told you it's ok because you're not the only one?"  
"Yes..."  
"I have them too. My job isn't pretty. We don't always get there in time. Sometimes we get there just in time to watch someone die. I've seen really fucked up shit. Do you think any less of me for having them?"  
"No"  
"Then why would I think any less of you?"  
"Because you have work..."  
"So?"  
"You need sleep"  
"Most nights I only average a couple of hours, anyway. Like I told you before, we all have bad days"  
"Why would you do this? For someone like me. I don't think I can give you my body..."  
"I don't want your body. I want you. I mean, your body is beautiful. And it'll be even more so when you put some more weight on... that came out wrong. You're you. You're more than your body"  
"You're a weird alpha"  
"Yeah. Why do you think I never settled down? Everyone just seems happy to accept things the way they are. I've met an omega like you"  
"I like being with you... you make me feel safe"  
"And I will keep you safe"  
"Everyone who says that dies"  
"I'm not going anywhere. We're friends right?"  
"Yeah... I like you more than Marco"  
"I know how much you like Marco, so thank you for the compliment"  
"It's.. true. Alphas scare me. They scare me so fucking much, that I hate myself for it. But you're a good alpha"  
"I'm probably not as good as you think I am. I'm anal about keeping my apartment clean, and we're probably going to fight. But even if we do. I want you here. Even if we fight, I want you around. Where I know you're safe. We don't have to be more than friends. I know you need time. I know you went through some heavy shit, and that you need to sort shit out, but I want to work with you to help you be who you want to be... or some shit. I don't even know if I'm making sense right now"  
"You sound like... weird. I feel so nervous when you get like this. I like it when you're you. And cranky and sarcastic and when you get that crease between your eyebrows..."  
Everything that everyone else didn't like, yet he was forced to swallow down because of his profession. It hit him hard that while he'd been watching Eren, Eren had been watching him back. The shitty brat saw the things he'd hidden or at least tried to hide  
"... like right now. Can I still cuddle you? If I stay here?"  
"Yeah"  
"I think I maybe want to try... I mean, when Hanji has the baby... I'm so scared I'm going to freak out. That I'm going to do something without knowing it. It's scary not being able to trust yourself"  
"I know that feeling well. Are you ready to get off the floor?"  
"I'm sorry I got sick... and at the zoo"  
"It's been a long day, even longer for you. I get the feeling it was a combination of everything, just proving too much for you right now"  
"Mmm... I didn't feel very well... I was throwing up last night"  
He was dying to ask how long this had been going on for, but Eren really had had a long day. Right now the kid needed to eat, even if it was something small and to relax.

Erwin was nursing his second beer when they returned. Sitting down, Eren immediately picked up his fork, though he still looked to him for silent permission. Nodding, Levi took his own seat  
"So. Good news. Eren's going to be moving in"  
Erwin smiled, the smile he used for work purposes and when he didn't know what was safe to say  
"Really? That's great. I'm sure Titan will love the company"  
"Yeah, and Eren's really good with animals in general. He had two deer fawns eating out of the palm of his hand today"  
"Only because it was a petting zoo. They're used to it"  
"Tell that to the deer that head butted Marco"  
"I don't think Marco found it funny"  
"Have you had pets before?"  
"No. Zeke didn't like pets"  
"And none before Zeke"  
Eren frozen. The omega taking a few moments, before letting out a long breath  
"No. Not that I can remember... I like Titan. He's so soft and warm"  
"He's massive"  
"So? He didn't choose his body... but his body is perfect"  
So Eren had gotten the meaning behind his words. He knew Eren wasn't terribly judgmental, but it was a step towards Eren being able to accept himself and his body. One conversation wasn't going to solve years of abuse, so they'd have that talk as many times as it took. After all, no one in the world is crueler to someone than themselves.

When Eren finished his portion, he placed his knife and fork down, giving Levi a small shake of his head. The omega hadn't eaten much, but his stomach had probably shrunk. Rather than big meals, Eren would have to start with small snack meals more frequently. He'd have to order some fruit and nuts, and other small nibblies for when he wasn't home, but given he already intended to order a few things for Eren, that wasn't much of a hassle. As much as he loathed snakes, Eren had a real interest in animals. He was sure if he ordered him some books on different ones, the omega would be thrilled. He also wanted to see about getting text books so he could teach Eren basic math skills now that his comprehension and reading skills had improved so much. If he could see his own face, he was sure his lips would be in a dopey smile... and it was all because of the green eyed brat.

 

*  
After dinner Levi had pulled out a couple of bottles of wine and glasses, while Erwin went about microwaving popcorn and filling a big bowl up with it. The two alphas had obviously been doing this for years. They moved around each other like it was nothing. Rinsing the dishes carefully, Levi filled the dishwasher. Eren had expected him to do it by hand, but the alpha was probably tired. He'd put up with, and looked after him all day. He didn't deserve someone like Levi. He'd wanted to move in when Levi had offered, but was scared he'd ask what happened... Now he had a promise that Levi wouldn't... and Levi wouldn't break his promise.

Moving from the kitchen to the living area, Eren didn't know what to do. He didn't want to interrupt Levi's time with his friend, yet his anxieties wouldn't let him go to bed, not with Erwin in the apartment. He felt bad. He knew Erwin was nice, and important to Levi   
"Eren, are you going to come watch the movie with us?"  
"What is it?"  
"We don't know. Usually we pick the really bad horror movies. The ones that are so bad they're predictable, and go from there"  
"Is it ok?"  
"Sure. You can sit between us, or I can give you the corner, or you can sit in the recliner"  
"I'll sit in the recliner"  
He hadn't wanted to sit there before because it seemed like Levi's spot. Sinking into the soft fabric, it was like being surrounded by the alpha. A small purr bubbling up  
"Do you want the blanket? You look cold"  
"I'm ok"  
"How about the lights? Off or on?"  
"I... don't know"  
"Levi, stop pestering him"  
"He lives here. He gets a say in what happens"  
"And I don't?"  
"Furniture doesn't talk"  
"You can't call me furniture, I haven't been around that much lately"  
"This is true. Fine. I vote Eren has a say in things. Eren votes he has a say in things. You're out numbered"  
Laughing at Levi's words, he felt the tension drain from his tight chest. Levi really wanted him here...  
"If we're not turning all the lights off, at least turn the living room one off so we can see better"  
"Eren?"  
"It should be ok..."

Levi's solution was to turn the kitchen and living room lights off, but to turn the light on in both bedrooms. He knew where Levi's room was, and what was his. He just had no idea what the other doors were for. If he was going to live here, he'd have time to figure it out. While up and moving around, Levi found Titan for him. Dumping the cat in his lap with his brush, before finally sitting back beside Erwin   
"What did you find?"  
"One so bad I think it belongs in a the top ten worst ever"

Watching movies with Levi and Erwin was definitely a different experience. The pair of them picking apart every injury on the screen. In his lap, Titan was fast asleep. His brush filled with fur, while Eren was back to dozing again. He didn't want to fall asleep and miss the movie, but his eyelids had plans of their own. Feeling Titan being lifted, he whined his protest as the warmth disappeared   
"Eren, if you're sleepy you should sleep"  
"I want to watch the movie"  
"You're mostly asleep"  
"But..."  
He was too tried to continue to protest   
"Erwin's too drunk to drive home, so he's going to sleep out here. Would you be more comfortable in my bed or the spare bed?"  
"With you"  
He didn't even realised what he'd mumbled out. Pulling him to stand, Levi lifted him into his hold   
"You can use the spare room for tonight. I probably need to wash the sheets anyway"  
"Thanks. I'll see you two in the morning"  
"Yeah. Try to keep it down"  
"Same for you two"  
Letting his arm droop over Levi's shoulder, Eren nuzzled into the man's chest. Levi's scent really was the best thing he'd ever smelt. Carried into the alpha's bedroom Levi was careful as he laid him down and moved to cover him with the blankets. Compared to the bed he'd had in Zeke's apartment, this one felt even more like heaven. Switching the light off, Levi joined him. The alpha crawling in from the other side, before he draped an arm around his waist. Eren's bright happy smile was lost to darkness, but none the less, it stayed on his lips until long after the pair of them had fallen asleep.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was hoping to get this chapter out yesterday, as it was a very important friend's birthday.  
> So happy day-after-your birthday, Carpe!  
> Thank you for putting with my crazy ideas!

Packing to move into Levi's was harder than he'd thought it would be. Hanji hadn't wanted him to leave, and she and Levi had gotten into a yelling match over it. Knowing he was the cause had sent his emotions into overdrive, triggering another stupid heat. Thankfully he could still function through it, but trying to pack while burning with a fever, having one good hand and feeling like he'd betrayed Hanji and Moblit was all a bit too much. He couldn't stop crying. His thoughts were out of control and the more he cried, the more he wanted to stop crying. He hated this side of being an omega even more than having an alpha force themselves on him. He was done with tears. He was done with all the mixed up emotions and his body defaulting to heats when things were too much. Thomas had explained it was a defence mechanism. His omega was calling out for an alpha, sending his body into heat in order to find one that would protect him, even if that meant being fucked by a fucking stranger. Ok. Maybe he hadn't worded the last part like that, but Eren had felt a deep sense of shame at those words. Even after 10 fucking years, his omega still reverted back to that. To trying to make him more loveable and more wantable. It was because he was an omega that everything had gone to shit. It was because he was an omega that his mum had died. No one loved him more for it. No one wanted him more. Society didn't like omegas, outside of fucking them or laughing at them. 

Things were better now, but all it took was the slightest bit of fear and his arsehole of a dynamic decided to throw a big "fuck you" his way. He hadn't wanted to hurt Hanji at all. It wasn't like he didn't want to keep in touch with her, and it wasn't like he'd planned on leaving right away. Levi had told him it was his choice when he moved in. That he didn't have to rush or to force himself, and that if he wanted, he could start by spending a night or two a week at his, then work up to moving in. Everything Levi had said on the drive over had been so perfect... then both Hanji and Moblit had been home, and he'd stupidly mentioned that Levi had offered for him to stay with him. He wished he'd never said anything. He thought Hanji would understand. Not start yelling at Levi for it being "totally inappropriate" given Eren wasn't bonded, and she didn't know if "he'd keep it in his pants". She'd meant Levi. If Levi could behave and distance himself during his heat... yes it might not be a perfect arrangement, but he'd fallen hard for Levi. He wanted to get to know Levi and to see if they could really be more. He wasn't ready for a real relationship, but he still at least wanted to know more about his friend. The pair probably would have kept yelling if Moblit hadn't noticed the fact he was shaking and crying on the floor, having slid down the wall and covered his ears when the yelling had begun. He loved Hanji. But she didn't get it like Levi did, and she had a baby coming. She needed to focus on her health, and that of her baby's.

"Eren, can we talk?"  
Pulled from his thought, Eren hadn't even realised Moblit was standing in the doorway. Wrapping his arms around his was waist, he nodded as he walked over and sat on his bed, pulling his knees up as he tried to make himself as small as possible, but given his nearly 6 foot frame, that was near on impossible. Moving to join him, Moblit kept a respectful distance  
"I was hoping was could talk about all of this"  
"Me moving out?"  
"Yeah. I didn't get a chance to hear your side of things, and that isn't fair. I kept my distance with you being in heat, but it's been 5 days, so your heat must be tapering by now. I'm sorry if I've done something to upset you"  
God. Why did Moblit have to be so kind? He'd thought he'd be leaving without ever having the chance to talk this out   
"No. No, you and Hanji are... you're amazing. You took me in, a complete a total stranger, and you both did everything you could for me. I owe you guys so much"  
"Then can I ask why you're moving out?"  
"I... you guys work so much. You both have demanding jobs, while I'm just... I'm not very ok... my omega side doesn't know what to do anymore. It's so scared and messed up. I know you're not going to hurt me. I know it... I just can't control it"  
"Eren, Hanji and I don't see you as just your omega"  
"I know... but I'm fucked in the head. I don't know why, but Levi makes me feel calmer... and with the baby coming, I have to move out anyways"  
"B-baby? You're pregnant?"  
Eren shook his head   
"No. Isn't Hanji? There was a positive test in the bathroom... Moblit, I know I hurt you. What if I hurt Hanji? What if something happens to the baby? I don't want something bad to happen... not to you guys"  
Moblit recomposed himself   
"Can I ask you one more question?"  
"Yes?"  
"Will you be happy at Levi's?"  
"I don't know. I know you guys have tried so hard, but... but I'm not ok... I love you both and I can't even do anything right. I think maybe, but... then that makes it sound like I was never happy here and I was. Coming back... I don't feel... I don't feel like I belong anymore"  
"Eren, you belong here. You have a home and space here. Hanji and I both care for you, but if this isn't working, then we need to do what's best for you"  
Letting out a weird sob, Eren threw himself forward. Wrapping his arms around Moblit he started to sob against him. He didn't even know where the tears were coming from, as there shouldn't be any left  
"Now. If this doesn't work out, you can always, always come back here. And I expect you to bully Levi into coming for dinner more often. Hanji isn't going to forgive him for stealing you away from her. I hazard a guess that she'll be calling in every day on her way home from work to see you. As for Levi. I've known him for a few years now. He's a good guy, but sometimes he does have a temper. If anything at all happens, night or day, call either me or Hanji. We'll be there as soon as possible"  
"Thank you"  
"You're very welcome"

 

*  
Moblit eventually got Hanji to calm down enough to talk to Levi about him moving. It was another week after his heat that did, due to his post heat depression. When it came to actually moving, all of his things fitted into the back Levi's Range Rover, with space to spare. Levi had come round early in the morning, at the end of his shift by the look of it, and he and Moblit had loaded the back of the car for him. Hanji hadn't let him go since Levi arrived. The woman forcing her cuddles on him as they sat together on the sofa. It seemed to only take a matter of minutes before they were done and Hanji was lecturing Levi over his medication all over again. He knew when he supposed to take his pills. She didn't need to keep telling Levi. It took Moblit wrapping his arms around his wife for Eren to be able to escape to Levi's side. The alpha automatically wrapping an arm around his waist and promising to see Hanji and Moblit for dinner at his apartment tonight, before guiding him away from a still babbling Hanji. This was it. He'd actually... he was moving out. He'd actually made the choice for himself. He was moving into a place where he'd chosen to live. Fuck... it was such a weird feeling. He wanted to run back and beg Hanji to take him back, but at the same time, he was excited to be living with Levi and Titan.

Levi wouldn't let him help with the boxes. Not that that stopped him. Grabbing the first box he could, he followed Levi into the elevator, the alpha sighing at the sight of the box in his hold   
"I told you I'd deal with the boxes. You've got your arm in a cast"  
"Which makes it perfect for balancing boxes on"  
"It's your first day here, let me take care of it"  
"This coming from the alpha who just came off his work shift"  
"How did you know that?"  
"You look tired"  
Pressing the button for his floor, Levi leaned back against the wall of the elevator   
"It's nothing. You're the one who looks exhausted. How is your post heat depression going?"  
"It's yeah. It's clearing. I talked with Moblit a little"  
"How did that go?"  
"He talked to Hanji... about moving"  
"He's always been the only one who can get through to her, and make her see sense"  
The elevator dinged, the doors sliding open smoothly. Following Levi along the hall, the alpha stopped in front of his door, fishing his keys out his pocket... or rather key. Holding it up, he gave a small smile that lit up Eren's whole world   
"I got a copy made for you. I know you're still recovering, but I'm not going to keep you prisoner here. There's shops the next block down, and all sorts of places you can explore. When you're ready"  
Handing he key over, Eren balanced the box on his hip, sliding the key into the lock where it turned easily. Letting the door swing open, he took a deep breath, before stepping in  
"Welcome home, Eren"  
"Uh. Thank you"  
"Let's get your stuff moved in first. We need to make sure Titan doesn't escape either"  
"Um, the spare room?"  
"Yep"  
Walking in, Levi kicked the door shut behind the him. Titan coming darting out from Levi's room, and running right into Eren's new one  
"Someone's happy to see you"  
"He's adorable"  
"He's yours too now, don't forget that"  
"You need to show me how to look after him"  
"And I will. After we get you moved in"

Carrying the box into his new bedroom, he let out a small gasp. Levi had cleaned it through, and new blue comforter covered the bed, along with cushions in various shade of blue and green  
"Do you like it?"  
"It's... it makes me think of the ocean"  
"That was the plan. After Erwin crashed here, it stank like him. I thought you'd like something fresher and cleaner. I also bought you your own set of towels, they're the blue ones in the bathroom"  
"Levi..."  
Dropping the box on the bed, he reached out and grabbed Levi. Hugging him tightly from the side, thanks to the box in the way  
"Thank you so much"  
"You're welcome. I've got another present for you, but I need to put this down first"  
"Another present?"  
"Yep. Now, let me go so I can put this down"  
Another present? Levi had already given him the best presents he'd ever received... it didn't feel fair that the alpha was giving him another one. Placing down the box he was holding with much more care, Levi stuck his hand in his pocket again, pulling out another key  
"What's that one for?"  
"This one, if for your room. I had a new lock installed. For the times your in heat, or want space. I gave the spare to Hanji. So if you're in heat, she can check in on you. I expect you to keep it tidy"  
"Yes. I'll keep it clean... Wow... Levi. I don't know what to say... I didn't think you'd... that you'd go to so much effort. Thank you"  
Tearing up, he pulled Levi into another hug, burying his face against the alpha's neck  
"You're very welcome. There's space in the wardrobe for everything, and space for all your blankets. I'm going to head down and grab the rest of the boxes, why don't you stay up here with Titan? You can make sure he doesn't escape"  
"I want to help"  
"You are. You're making space for everything else"  
He was certain that it didn't work like that. Unpacking meant making a mess, and Levi wanted his room kept clean... he felt bad about even disturbing the beautiful blanket on his bed. Releasing him, Levi kissed his shoulder  
"I'll be back up soon"

It took a little longer for Levi to bring everything up than it had for him and Moblit to empty his room. He'd left a couple of things at Hanji's, mostly blankets. Somehow he'd accumulated more than he'd remembered owning. With everything brought it, Levi locked the door and slid the chain across, before letting out a long yawn. Covering his mouth, the alpha looked almost sheepish as he stared down at him  
"Sorry. Work was hectic"  
"No... we didn't have to do this today"  
"It's fine, brat. Did you have breakfast?"  
"Hanji made me eat some toast"  
"Good. I'm going to take a shower and get some sleep. You can go ahead and unpacked, eat, sleep, shower if you want. Just don't forget to place both keys of your keyring"  
"I won't. Do you want me to make you some lunch?"  
"You don't need to. But go ahead and eat without me. Hanji and Moblit are coming for dinner, so we'll need to figure out seating. It can wait until I've slept though"  
"Ok... thank you for this"  
"Don't thank me yet, you haven't seen what it's like living with me"

 

*  
Having showered, Levi passed out. Eren's scent had already started filling their apartment, his scent responding by releasing a calming hue. It already felt right having Eren there. Titan had settled on Eren's bed, licking his front paws and making it clear he didn't plan to leave. Sleeping like the dead, he slept through until 4pm, woken by a scream. Flying out of bed, he rushed into Eren's room. The omega was gathering himself up, still panting hard from what must have been a nightmare  
"Eren?"  
Wiping his face, Eren forced a smile as he looked to him  
"Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you"  
"Did you have a bad dream?"  
"Yeah... sorry I was... I was trying to take a nap"  
Eyeing the room, most things had found new homes. The boxes used for moving were neatly stacked in the corner, two sitting next to them, yet to be unpacked   
"Don't be sorry for napping. You obviously needed it"  
"I wouldn't say that. I... I used the dishwasher without permission"  
"The dishwasher?"  
"The cast makes washing dishes hard"  
"Brat, I don't care if you used the dishwasher. It's fine. I'm just surprised you found something in there to eat. I was going to do an order now that you're here"  
"An order?"  
"Thanks to the wonders of the internet, you can get groceries delivered. It saves so much time, and you don't have to be surrounded by people"  
"Oh... that sounds cool"  
"It is. Are you staying up? Or going back to sleep?"  
"I don't think I can sleep"  
"Then now's the perfect time. I'll make us some tea, so meet me on the sofa"

Eren came out with a blanket wrapped around him. Normally Levi would have told him not to drag blankets around the house, but with his hair messed up, and a glassy look in his eyes, the kid was too sleepy for him to scold. Placing both cups of tea down, while Eren sat, Levi retrieved his laptop, before joining him on the sofa. Logging in, he opened up the internet, tapping away and pulling up his go to store  
"Ok. Here we go. This is the magical page that gets us food"  
Eren leant his head on his shoulder with a yawn   
"It looks confusing"  
"It's not. You type in what you want, or you click on the catergories. What do you eat vegetable wise?"  
"I don't like mushrooms"  
"I'm not that keen on them either"  
"What else don't you like?"  
"I don't really know. I haven't tried a lot of things"  
"That's right..."  
"So you should order what you like"  
If worst came to worst, there were the snacks he'd ordered for Eren, though for some reason he'd stashed them in his room, with the books he'd ordered. It was much easier to buy things for Eren, then to give it to him   
"What about sweet things?"  
"I haven't had many. Only really with Hanji"  
"Can I ask what you used to eat?"  
"Muesli and coffee for breakfast. Coffee and a banana for lunch, then salad for dinner. Or if I was walking to work I pick up soup or sandwiches from the cafe near the club"  
So Eren had tried some things. He just didn't realise what they were, or that he knew more than he thought he did  
"I've cooked a bit"  
"How much is a bit?"  
"I used to cook for Zeke and Reiner, and Bertholdt. I don't mind cooking. I can clean too..."  
"When you get that cast off, we'll work out a jobs chart"  
"I don't mind doing the housework"  
He hadn't exactly told Eren he liked things cleaned a certain way and in a certain spot... get the kid better, then he could deal with that  
"Like I said, we'll sort it out. Did you put your things in the bathroom?"  
"The second draw was empty, is that ok?"  
"I didn't tell you?"  
"You went to bed"  
"I emptied the draw out for you. It's the second one in the cabinet, so you can keep all your stuff in there"  
"Does that count as telling me?"  
"Yeah. Of course it does. Do you need anything for the bathroom?"  
"Uh... um... yes"  
"Eren, you don't need to be embarrassed or shy about needing anything. I'm a paramedic remember. I've literally seen everything there is to see, but if you want to go shopping for more personal items, I don't mind"  
"I just, um, need pads"  
Eren winced at the word. The brat had nothing to be ashamed of. He couldn't control slicking. There was nothing dirty or shameful about it... not as far as Levi was concerned   
"That's fine. You can't control these things. It's perfectly natural"  
"You're making it more embarrassing"  
"Sorry. I just meant that you have no reason to hold back asking for anything, ever"  
"I think that's about it though. I have my own bodywash, shampoo and conditioner... moisturiser and vitamin E cream... I've got my own toothpaste and brush, and hair brush..."  
"Ok. So we only really need food and you'll eat just about anything. You like fruit, right?"  
"Yeah"  
He didn't give two shit about fruit being labeled an occasional food due to sugar. He'd grown up with it being a healthy option, and no one was going to tell him different. That didn't mean he actually ate the stuff, outside of pies, but Eren liked fruit, so he was getting fruit.

It was hard not to over shop. He wanted Eren to try everything, but didn't want to wind up with a fridge filled with off produce. Figuring he could just pick up anything else they needed, he placed the order, grateful that his visa's number wasn't that hard to remember. He didn't want to disturb Eren, who was still curled into his side. Four hundred dollars might have been an over shop, especially for just the two of them, and Titan, but they'd be stocked if the world happened to end. Which might just happen as he had the most amazing omega in the world living with him... or it could be the fact he actually and finally had someone living in the same space as him. It was some kind of miracle. Caught up with the online shopping, time slipped further away from him. The knock on the door startling both of them. Eren yawning gently as he pushed himself up   
"What? Who's that?"  
"Probably Hanji and Moblit. Fuck. You're the only one who accomplished anything today"  
"Food shopping doesn't count?"  
"I don't know, does it?"  
Lifting his head, Eren stared into his eyes  
"I think it does"  
"Then it counts. I better get door before Hanji breaks in"  
"Mmm. You're comfortable"  
"Am I comfortable? Or you're finding me comfortable?"  
"You're comfortable... they're not going to be mad, right?"  
"No. They're not going to be mad. Moblit's going to be sneezy, but not mad"  
"Sneezy? Is that the technical term?"  
"He's got a cat allergy"  
"I didn't know that"  
"Hanji was the one who took home Titan first. When Moblit's allergies kicked in, she dumped him here. Apparently I wasn't going to find company with a face like this and a personality to match, so I might as well have a cat who's forced to love me"  
"I think it's better he's with you. He'd be scarred for life living with Hanji"  
"He is kind of a big fat coward. I need to get the door"

Hanji let out a long "oooooh" as Levi opened the door to her. Rolling his eyes, the alpha pressed himself against the wall so Hanji and Moblit could come in  
"Eren! Sweetheart, how are you? How's Levi treating you? I haven't see you in aaaaages"  
Huffing, Eren pushed himself out his blanket   
"Hanji, it's been like... what, 12 hours?"  
"Ages. Just like I said. Now, he isn't being mean, is he?"  
"No"  
"You didn't get in trouble for the blanket? Levi usually gets all angry about dragging blankets around. He poured water over my face one time, because the blanket fell off the sofa while I was sleeping. I swear, he gets so upset over the tiniest things"  
"Unlike you, Eren lives here. What do you want for dinner? We got caught up online shopping, and didn't get around to making anything"  
"Pizza! We should have pizza. Where's Titan?"  
Hanji darted off looking for Titan, while Moblit sighed heavily   
"Moblit, I'll grab you a sheet out for the recliner"  
"Thanks Levi, but it's ok. I've already taken my medication"  
"Ok then. Well, make yourself comfortable. Eren, is pizza ok?"  
"Yeah... let me put the blanket away"  
Already fleeing towards his room, Levi cursed Hanji. They'd had a nice thing on the sofa... until her big mouth ruined it. Emerging from the bathroom, Hanji had her arms filled with Titan. The cat glaring at the world as he was hefted over to the sofa  
"Soooo, what did you two get up to today? Completely alone and unsupervised"  
Her sing song tone annoyed him   
"We had a huge party. Got drunk and chased Titan around. The usual"  
"You're not funny. I'm trusting you with my Eren?"  
"Since when am I yours?"  
Having let his hair down, Eren ran his fingers through it  
"Always. I heard you got drunk today?"  
"Yeah. Levi and I went shot for shot. I had to show him how to drink properly"  
"Oh snap! Isn't this the second time you're called him out?"  
"Living here makes it much easier to get home at the end of the night. Did you decide what pizza we're having?"  
He didn't know where the sudden burst of confidence came from, but the smile he wore was infectious   
"Levi always gets to choose"  
"Because I always choose the best, and this is my apartment"  
"That means a supreme with no mushrooms, and a pepperoni. Can we get a Hawaiian too?"  
"What's on a Hawaiian?"  
Hanji gaped at Eren   
"You've never had a Hawaiian? It's ham, cheese and pineapple"  
"I don't think pineapple belongs on a pizza"  
"That's because you haven't been educated. Warm pineapple is sooo good"  
It wasn't Eren's fault he didn't know how awful a Hawaiian pizza was. Opening the kitchen draw reserved for takeaway menus, he grabbed out the pizza one for the place down the road. Calling through, it didn't take long before their order was taken. Garlic bread, pizza and cool drink. Definitely not the healthiest of dinners, but eating out the box should mean Eren wouldn't feel so self conscious.

When the pizza arrived, Hanji designated Eren and Moblit the task of box opening, while Levi was pulled into the bathroom. Confused over what she could possibly want, he unashamedly wanted to return to Eren's side  
"Make this quick"  
"How's he been?"  
"Fine, he unpacked. Took a nap, had some lunch. Then we did some food shopping online"  
"And he's really been ok?"  
"Yeah"  
"Even with the cast?"  
"Hanji, he's fine. Now wash your hands"  
Hanji walked over to the counter, pumping out the hand wash and making a show of washing her hands   
"I just worry"  
"I know you do, but if something goes wrong, I'll let you know. I told him I gave you the spare key to his bedroom, and he seemed ok with it"  
"Just don't forget he's got a therapy appointment next week, and then his cast is coming off in two"  
"I've been thinking he needs a new therapist"  
Hanji laughed   
"He's been with you half a day"  
"He told me he thinks his therapist doesn't like him"  
And that soberer her right up  
"He didn't tell me that"  
"Well it's something to look into. I need the number for his therapist. As well as his doctor"  
"I'll send them through to you when I get him. And his online banking details"  
"I don't want those. That's Eren's business"  
"Business you asked me to look into. His account was emptied, about two weeks after he went missing"  
"Zeke?"  
"Probably. He has been Eren's legal guardian for years"  
"Have you heard anything from the police?"  
"No. I don't think they care at all over it really. Zeke didn't really have that many friends by the seems of it. Anyway, we should get back in there. I can't believe you took my baby away"  
"Eren's hardly a baby. And he made the choice for himself. So go easy on him"  
"I am. As long as he'd happy, that's the main thing"  
"Yeah, well, I don't intend on making him miserable"  
"Good. You know, I also think I deserve a "Thank you Hanji, you have the best ideas and you were completely right to drag me into that strip club"  
"Really?"  
"Yep. I told you I'd find you the perfect omega, and look. You're not going to get much more perfect than Eren"  
"We're just friends"  
"Mhmmm. Keep telling yourself that. You two are in L-O-V-E"  
"I'm not in love with him. We're not teenagers. It's possible to live with an omega and not want to jump his bones"  
"Riiiight. Because you've never had sex with him. Now move, I want my pizza"  
Having sex once hardly made a relationship. You also didn't need to be in love to have sex. If he was going to have a relationship purely for sex, then there was no point. Not when he had his hand for that, and his hand didn't talk back... it was also pretty good at cleaning too.

 

*  
It was only a month into living with each other that Eren's next heat hit. The omega had more nightmares than Levi had imagined, sometimes two or three in the same night, and almost all ended with Eren screaming himself awake, or screaming for Zeke. With the investigation into Zeke's death having finally stalled completely, his body had been released to Eren. The piece of shit alpha had been cremated, and now lived in his urn, tucked away in bottom of Eren's wardrobe. Levi would have preferred that they scattered the ashes, but Eren wasn't ready to let go. In the kid's beside draw was a lock of Zeke's hair, hidden in an envelope, that Eren had treated like it was the most precious thing in the world. Having his ashes made everything so much more real for Eren. His demeanour hadn't been the same since. Eren had been withdrawn, not just with him, but with Titan. The cat evicted from sleeping in Eren's room with him, as Eren feared hurting the cat. It was only a matter of days after bringing Zeke "home" that Eren's heat had hit. Levi forced to spend a shitty week living at Erwin's. By the time he got back after Eren's heat had ended, the omega had stripped his bed and done the washing. The apartment sprayed out with scent canceller, and the balcony door wide open. Eren himself was in his room, crying softly from the depression. It hurt to see him so distressed, even more when he couldn't do anything to make it better.

Eren still hadn't bounced back after his post heat depression passed. The omega was skittish. Wincing and flinching at any loud noise, even when it was just Titan yowling for more food. Levi had tried offering comfort the best he could. Movies. Drinks. Dinner. Cuddles on the sofa, which Eren wriggled out of. With nothing working, Levi messaged Marco his address. He couldn't shift his shifts around, to be there for Eren like he wanted. He didn't tell the other omega much other than that Eren was living him, and he should drop by whenever he wanted to. 

Marco didn't take long to spring into action. When he arrived home that night, he was greeted with an arm full of crying Eren. He could smell the traces of Marco, and made a mental note that he'd have to thank him. Lifting the omega, Eren wrapped his legs around him, letting Levi carry him over to the sofa. Sinking down, he fished up the blanket the pair must of have been using, slinging it around Eren to keep him warm. Kissing his chocolate locks, he held him tight   
"Let it all out"  
"I miss Zeke"  
He'd already figured as much  
"I know you do"  
"I don't want him to be dead"  
He wanted to say he "wished he wasn't", but he didn't really care that he was. Other than the fact it was hurting Eren. Nuzzling into Eren's hair, he pressed kisses to the spot rather than replying  
"I... I don't know what to do with him. I can't just leave him in the wardrobe"  
"What do you want to do with him? Do you want to go somewhere and scatter the ashes?"  
"Where?"  
"I don't know. Where did you always want to go with him?"  
"I... beach"  
"You want to scatter him at the beach?"  
Or in the cat litter tray... no. That was fucked up, even for him... and Titan. He didn't need bits of Zeke stuck to Titan's arse fur... then scattered all over the apartment floor  
"People do that?"  
"Yeah, they do. Or at a nice park, or off bridges"  
"I wanted to see the ocean"  
"Then I'll take you. I can't get time off right now, but when I can, we can plan it all"  
"Sorry for crying all over you. You smell really bad"  
"I smell bad?"  
"Yes... I can barely smell you"  
"Sorry to disappoint. Work wasn't great today. Mostly patient transfers, which means a lot of driving around and making small talk"  
"You make good small talk"  
"I'm glad you think so. I know we've barely talked in weeks"  
"Heats and depression will do that... I couldn't get out of my head"  
"I noticed. Did Marco help?"  
"Yeah... kind of. No. I don't know. Jean got him a huge diamond ring. And... it scares the fuck out of me. Marco's got his whole life planned out. He's bonded with Jean. They're getting legally married. Having a baby... I don't understand it all"  
"Well, to have a baby..."  
Eren whined, shaking his head   
"I get how babies are made. And how bonds are done"  
"Then you've got it all figured out"  
"No, I don't. What do I do with my life?"  
"Whatever you want"  
"I want to dance... I miss dancing"  
Eren hadn't even mentioned dancing in weeks. He knew he wouldn't forget about the thing he loved most   
"So dancing and going to the beach. See. Plans for the future"  
"I feel like I'm stuck"  
"You're stuck in my lap"  
Eren snorted, while Levi he was enjoying having Eren stuck in his lap  
"That's not what I mean at all"  
"I know. How's your reading going? Have you been reading?"  
"I'm on the forth book of Narnia"  
That was impressive. He had no idea where Eren found the time to read, and he hadn't been messaging for help? The idea of the omega no longer needing him stung. Even if if this was what they'd been working towards  
"Good job. I need to take a shower. Have you had dinner?"  
"No, not yet. Marco was in the pantry. He was pretty hungry"  
"He is pregnant. It's expected"  
"Is it?"  
"It's fine. One day when you find an alpha you want to have a baby with, and get pregnant. You'll understand. Now, up. Why don't you have a look in the fridge and see what's good?"  
"Um... can we make dinner together? I won't get in the way or make a mess"  
You get upset once, over a dirty knife, plate and cup in the sink, before realising you don't have dish detergent, and the dishwasher was mid cycle, and they never let you forget it... he'd tried to apologise for snapping at the sink, he didn't even yell at Eren, only the sink, but it was hard for the omega not to hear him  
"That would be nice"

Dinner turned out to be a simple noodle salad. The pair of them eating on the sofa, while something played in the background. For Levi, it turned into a struggle to keep his alpha in check, as Eren was snuggled into him. After being so distant, all his alpha wanted to do was bathe the omega in his scent, and mark him as his, so the brat would never stray from his side, and everyone would know that such an amazing omega was his. When they finished eating, Eren laid down with his head in Levi's lap, nuzzling into the fabric of Levi's sweats as he started to purr lightly. Not wanting to miss out on the chance of pats, Titan jumped up, placing his paws on the free part of Levi's lap and starting to purr his own rumbling purr. Massaging Eren's scalp with his left hand, he did the same for Titan with his right. Their purrs pure and adorable, both completely relaxed and happy. It struck him that Eren really was like a cat. He liked naps in the sun, head pats and cuddles. He wanted affection on his own terms, and was standoffish when he was done with wanting affection. He also liked to hide in his room when something scared him... yep. Eren was a great big cat. Though the omega would definitely insist otherwise. Spending a lazy evening together, both Eren and Titan purred themselves to sleep. Not wanting to disturb them, Levi tried to let himself fall to sleep with them... despite the dishes that needed doing, the kitchen that needed wiping down, the washing that would need shifting to the drier... nope. Now that his mind was thinking about how much needed to be done, he couldn't sleep. Even if he'd wanted to. Carefully he shifted Eren's head from his lap and onto the first cushion he grabbed. Titan flicking his tail back and forth as he protested being moved from the comfortable spot.

Not meaning to get caught up with cleaning, Levi cleaned through the whole apartment. Once he started, he found spots where Eren had missed, or they weren't as clean as his mind allowed. It wasn't like Eren couldn't clean, the kid was nearly spotless, it was just tiny things that his mind refused to let slide. By the time it was done, the place smelt like bleach and lemons, Titan retreating to Eren's room, where the smell wasn't so potent. His cleaning escapade was finally brought to an end when Eren woke, bolting straight to the bathroom. A few moments later, the sound of wet retching filled the silent place. The TV was still on, but he'd muted it so he could hear shy signs of distress coming from hi... from the brat. Sighing to himself, he followed Eren into the bathroom. The omega still throwing his guts up as Levi squatted down beside him  
"What's wrong? Are you ok?"  
Placing a hand on Eren's back, Eren shuddered beneath his touch, instead of leaning into it. By his smell, he could tell the omega was scared, which probably meant he'd had a nightmare. At least he hadn't woken up screaming. Rubbing Eren's back until he finally stopped, the omega groaned as he reached up to the flush the mess away  
"Better?"  
"Mmm. Sorry. Really shit dream"  
"Shitty nightmare, or just a shitty dream?"  
"A bit of both"  
"Anything I can do?"  
"No. I'm ok now. I think I'm just going to go to bed"  
"Alright. Be careful, I mopped the floors while you were sleeping"  
"I did them today?"  
Well fuck...  
"Sorry. I didn't notice. Do you want a hand up?"  
"Yeah, give me a second"  
A second barely passed before he was up and helping Eren to stand. Placing his palm on his forehead, he shook his head   
"You have a fever. How long have you been feeling sick?"  
"Just since I woke up"  
"If it gets worse, I want you to wake me up"  
"It's just a fever"  
"You don't just get fevers"  
"I do... I just blame it on being an omega"  
Maybe it was omega related? No one could say that every mystery of omegas had been solved. They didn't even know how bonding marks worked, or what caused presentations of the different dynamics  
"I still want you to wake me up"  
"Mmmm. Ok"  
"Eren"  
"I said ok"  
"You didn't sound very convincing"  
"Because it's just a fever. I'll sleep it off or something"  
"Take some panadol before you go to sleep, it'll help with the fever"  
"Levi, I'll be ok. You don't need to worry so much"  
He'd gone from the one scolding Eren, to now feeling like the omega was scolding him back, mumbling grumpily  
"I can't help it. Now brush your teeth and wash your hands"  
"Fiiiine"  
"Shitty brat"  
"Old man"  
Levi sighed  
"Really? Is that the best you've got?"  
"For now"

The moment Levi's head hit the pillow, he was wide awake all over again. His alpha was angry at him for letting Eren fall sick while under his care. It didn't take him long at all to abandon sleep in favour of sneaking into Eren's room, purely to check on the omega. Eren was already tangled in his blankets, as he let out small huffy breaths. Titan having claimed the pillow next to Eren's face, glaring at him under the light of the small nightlight above Eren's bed. Keeping his steps light, he moved over to check Eren's fever, sighing to himself in relief. Eren was warm, but not too warm. He didn't smell sick or pained. With a long whine, Eren reached up, smacking his hand away  
"'m fine. Stop worrying and go to bed"  
"Just making sure"  
"Shhh... 'm sleeping"  
Fuck, the kid was an adorable little shit  
"Ok, sorry"  
"You can stay, but be quiet. Too many words"  
Swallowing hard, Levi really did want to stay. But Eren was too asleep to know what he was saying. Tearing himself away, Eren whined at him  
"Levi?"  
"Go back to sleep"  
"'tay"  
Tay? What the fuck was "tay"? Did he mean stay? He wanted to stay, but would it be too much for Eren? He'd just come back out of his shell, with the help of Marco, not him. Or was it actually a sleepy "Okay?"... since when did so many words end with the "ay" sound?! What the fuck did Eren want him to do? Frozen in his steps, he stayed still until Eren's breathing evened out. Only then did his body cooperate with him again, his feet leading him from Eren's room, instead of joining him in the omega's bed. This time when he returned to his own bed, he was finally able to find sleep.


	22. Chapter 22

Trying to organise things to get time off was harder than it should have been. He'd talked to Erwin about it all, his partner understanding off the fact Eren really needed this, and he needed Zeke out of his house. Still, he was trying to pick a date for them to go. If they were heading all the way out to the coast, then he wanted to make a week of it, rather than just a weekend. He wanted Eren to have time to pick the place he felt was perfect for his brother to rest, but at the same time, Marco had 9 weeks of his pregnancy left and he knew Eren would want to be there for his friend. Especially given that the omega was going to go stay with Marco for two weeks, as Jean had to head over to Trost for job related training. Eren wasn't going until next week, but he was already missing the omega. The cuddles on the sofa and the small shy kisses Eren had started to bless him with. With his feet up on the dash, he was waiting while Erwin was off polluting his lungs. It had been an almost uncomfortably silent night. They'd only been called out twice, one to a choking child, and the second time for an alpha that had fallen from the roof of his pool house, trying to drunkingly jump into the pool and blown out his ankle. 

"Dispatch, for Ackerman and Smith"  
Petra. Great. He'd been pretty successful at avoiding her since the Charity Ball. Grabbing the radio, he sighed to himself   
"Go ahead Petra"  
"Levi, we just got a call. A distressed omega in your building. It looks like it's going to be a jumper"  
It felt like he'd plunged into cold water. Petra had no idea that Eren was living with him, so she had no idea what her words had done to him  
"Police are on route"  
"Yeah. We're on our way. Keep us in the loop"  
His voice shook. His hand gripping the radio hard enough for it to be painful  
"Levi?"  
"We're on our fucking way"  
With a shaking hand, he clipped the radio back onto its hook, before opening his door  
"Erwin, we've got to go!"

His nerves were shot. Too shot for him to drive. His heart was hammering in his chest. His lip chewed bloody in an uncharacteristic manner. It couldn't be Eren. Eren would no doubt be sleeping peacefully. That had to be why he hadn't answered his messages... or calls... or mental screaming for the omega to hurry up and fucking answer him  
"Levi..."  
"Don't"  
"Do you think it's him?"  
Hadn't he just said "Don't"?  
"Shut the fuck up and drive"  
They already had lights and sirens on, but with shitty pieces of trash not moving over, the drive was still 20 minutes of torture. Turning off the sirens, but keeping the lights on, Erwin pulled up at the scene. With it being the dead of the night, the crowd that gathered was thankfully small. The lighting fortunately not enough to allow for clear photographs   
"Levi..."  
Throwing himself out the ambulance, he jogged over to the first responders   
"What's happening?"  
"Omega standing on the balcony railing. His neighbours noticed him..."  
"What floor?!"  
Growling in the man's face, he was about ready to start swinging. Coming up behind him, Erwin cleared his throat  
"Levi, its Eren. I counted the windows"  
Shoving the alpha officer aside, Levi ran. Leaving the mess to Erwin. He didn't care if he was breaking protocol. Eren wouldn't do this to him. No matter how depressed he'd been... things had been getting better. He'd been sure things were getting better. Maybe not perfect. Eren was still working on so many things. He was still eating smaller but more regular meals. He was still working on reading. Working through his depression and his shitty nightmares, which he still got every fucking night. He was working on building his strength back up. Why would he do this now? He knew they were going to beach. He knew it! Why would he leave him? He thought they were ok. Yes, he had absolutely shit hours, and there were times when it felt like they hadn't talked in days, especially after fucking shit shifts.

The elevator doors took forever to fucking open. Levi fumbling his keys was he jogged towards his front door. Another officer was already up here, knocking on his front door  
"Move it"  
The man blinked at him, before his eyes narrowed  
"Do you live here?"  
"That's right, now move"  
Getting the key into the lock with no idea how he managed it, he turned the handle, only for the chain to catch. Ramming his shoulder against the door, rather than pulling it back and slipping his hand in to shift the chain, it gave under the weight of his anger  
"Eren!"  
"Sir?"  
"Stay here. Don't approach him"  
Striding through his apartment to the open double doors, he slowed as he approached Eren. The kid was standing there, one hand against the bottom of the balcony above them  
"Eren?"  
Eren swayed slightly, Levi's heart jumping up into his throat  
"Eren, hey. It's Levi... can you hear me?"  
Taking a step forward, Eren didn't seem to notice. Taking another two, he lunged, grabbing Eren around the waist and hurling him back, both of them landing hard against the balcony floor. In the background, Erwin yelled out  
"Levi?! How is he?"  
"I've got him!"

Manhandling Eren to look at his face, the omega looked confused   
"Levi?"  
"Don't you ever fucking scare me like that again"  
Cupping Eren's face, Levi's lips smashed into Eren's. The kiss deep and meaningful. He'd been so fucking scared. Sharing several deep kisses, he had tears in his eyes as the broke apart, his right hand coming up to stroke Eren's hair as he stared into his eyes  
"Levi, what are we doing out here?"  
"You don't know?"  
Eren shook his head, capturing his lip in his teeth as he looked around   
"It's ok. You're ok now"  
"I don't know what's going on"  
Starting to cry, Levi gathered him up against him  
"It's ok"  
"It's not! What's going on?! Why am I out here?"

Coming to squat down next to them, Levi glared at Erwin as he placed his hand on Eren's head  
"Hey Eren, you gave us a bit of a scare"  
"He doesn't remember"  
"I don't know what's going on... ow! Levi, you're hurting me"  
"Shit... sorry Eren"  
Releasing his hold slightly, Eren whimpered against him  
"Levi's going to give you quick examination, while I talk to the police"  
"The police?"  
"Don't worry about that. Can you stand?"  
Deciding not to let Eren answer, incase he wanted to stand alone, Levi lifted him as he stood, the omega burying his face against his neck   
"What... what happened?"  
"You gave me a fucking scare"

Carrying Eren into his bedroom, Levi sat him down on the edge of the bed, taking his hands in his as he nuzzled into them  
"Levi? Are you ok?"  
"I was so fucking scared. I thought... I thought I was going to lose you. I can't lose you. Not you"  
Crying earnestly, his heart was still racing. Leaning down, Eren kissed the top of his head  
"I'm sorry... I don't know what happened"  
"You were on the balcony, can you remember that?"  
"N-no... I went to bed... I wanted to wake up early to be with you when you got off work"  
His words made him cry harder. Eren's love was so pure, but it brought back all the feelings over his uselessness when Isabel and Farlan died  
"Levi...?"  
"You were on the railing... I thought you were going to jump"  
"I... was?"  
"I was so scared. Petra said it was an omega in my building. I kept calling and texting and you didn't reply..."  
"Levi..."  
"Sorry. I shouldn't be crying like this..."  
"No. This... this my fault"  
"Alpha's don't cry. Strong alpha's don't cry"  
"Oh Levi. You are strong. I know you are"  
He didn't feel fucking strong. His world had nearly come crashing down around him. If Eren had slipped or fallen, that would have been in. If he hadn't grabbed him properly, he could have knocked him off the railing. He could have... he could have been the reason Eren was dead  
"Levi, the police want to talk with Eren. They want him taken down to the hospital for a mental health evaluation"  
"He didn't try to jump"  
"He was standing on the railing"  
"He doesn't remember..."  
"Levi, it's ok. Let's just do what Erwin says... I'll go"  
"Eren..."  
"It's ok... I'll go, but you'll be with me, won't you?"  
"Yeah. Yeah, I'll be with you. Erwin, can you grab his wallet and phone from his bedside? Also, we need to find Titan"  
"Titan's in the bathroom. He tried to make a run for freedom. There were too many people, so he came running back"  
The last thing he needed was Titan missing. His emotions were too raw to lose the stupid fat cat. He couldn't even let Eren's hands go. Kissing his hair again, Eren sat back up  
"Levi, I'm ok"  
"Then why were you outside?"  
"I don't know... I don't remember"  
"I couldn't... Eren, I can't lose you. You mean the fucking world to me"

Eren gave a small statement to the police before they left the apartment. He couldn't explain what he couldn't remember. Carrying his omega down from the apartment, Eren protested that he could walk just fine, but again, Levi didn't want to let him go. Ignoring the crowd and whispers, Levi continued over to the ambulance, Erwin opening the side door so he could move to place Eren on the bed. The omega was still grumbling about the fact he could walk  
"I'll drive, you stay in the back with him. I'll let Petra know it's all taken care of, she's probably already heard but... yeah"  
"Right. Thanks"

Sitting on the bed next to Eren, the omega was staring at his feet  
"Hey, you know no ones mad, don't you?"  
"I'm mad"  
"You're mad? About what?"  
"I didn't even know I was out there... and caused all this trouble"  
"What do you remember?"  
"Going to bed... I... I left the balcony doors open, it was hot in the apartment, but I had my alarm set. I was going to close the doors before you came home... I just wanted some fresh air, and Titan had been pawing at the doors..."  
"So you went to bed?"  
"Yeah... I wanted to... I wanted to make you a nice breakfast for when you got home"  
Eren started crying again  
"Can you remember what you were dreaming about?"  
"N-no... Levi, what did I do? Why can't I remember?"  
This wasn't the first time this had happened. He couldn't remember attacking Moblit in the hospital, and was extremely concerned when he'd seen the alpha with a black eye...  
"I think you had a panic attack, and you ran..."  
"I don't remember!"  
"Ok, shhh... it's ok. Are you hurt? Does anything hurt? Your ankle? Your wrist?"  
"M-my hands"  
"Show me"  
Offering his hands palm up, Levi eyed the grazes. They didn't look bad, but would be a little inconvenient for the next couple of days. His lips turned down as his gut clenched. He'd hurt Eren...  
"Those are my fault. From pulling you back"  
"Levi. I'm scared"  
The kid would have been even more scared if it the sirens were on. At least Erwin hadn't been stupid enough to deafen them with them  
"I know. I'm still scared too, but you're ok now"  
"What if I do it again?"  
"We'll just make sure the doors are closed at night. That's all..."  
"Why aren't you mad? I fucked up"  
"Because I'm relieved you're ok. You didn't do any of this on purpose, and you didn't try to jump"  
"Sometimes... I think about it, but I don't... I don't want to do that to you"  
So maybe things hadn't been getting better? It was hard not to take it personally that Eren still thought of hurting himself and death, but depression was never kind. It didn't tell the omega how amazing and beautiful he was, instead it was a sack of shit, taunting and hurting the brat with its lies  
"Guys, we're nearly there"  
Ignoring Erwin, Levi took Eren's skinned right hand, pressing a kiss to his palm, despite all the shitty germs   
"I'm so sorry I hurt you"  
"You... you saved me..."  
"I didn't think. When I saw you there... I can't get it out of my head"  
"I hate seeing you cry"  
"Then it's a good thing it doesn't happen very often"  
"Levi, did you mean it? That I mean everything to you?"  
"Yeah brat. I'm all in. I can't picture a single day without you in my life"  
"I want to be with you... I always want to be with you"  
Looking into Eren's deep eyes, he could have got lost in there  
"Are you sure? I'm not the perfect alpha. I'm old, way older than you, and cranky, and like things my own way"  
"You make me feel good... and safe. Even when... even when I'm fucked up, you make me feel ok"  
Leaning in, Levi nuzzled against Eren's face, almost shy as he kissed his omega. Moaning into the kiss, Eren tried to deepen it, only for the ambulance to come to a stop. Fuck it. Eren wanted him as much as he wanted the brat. Releasing Eren's injured hand, his hand moved to the omega's hip, half trying to pull him into his lap. Continuing to be caught up in the moment, the side door opened, then Erwin cleared his throat  
"Guys, we're here"  
Ending the kiss, Levi's heart fluttered at the smile Eren was giving him. He wanted to push him down and kiss the absolute fuck out him, but he didn't think Eren would appreciate it in front of an audience. Climbing from the ambulance first, he held his hand out, helping Eren step down. The omega immediately wrapping his free arm around his waist and trying to draw away from the double doors leading to the Emergency Department. It was a complete waste of time even bringing Eren down here, and had no idea why the police wanted a mental evaluation. He was sleep walking or some shit. Erwin smiled in an attempt to be reassuring   
"It's ok. Hanji's on tonight"  
"I don't think that makes it ok... she's going to be mad"  
"She's not going to be mad at you. Me, maybe, but not you"  
"You didn't do anything"  
"You don't need to worry about Hanji. She's more relieved than anything"  
Levi raised an eyebrow  
"And how do you know that?"  
"I have my ways"  
The police told Petra, who logged everything into the system, then Petra would have called to tell Hanji, and probably interrogate her. Hanji would have called him, and when he didn't answer, she would have called Erwin. Then Erwin would have filled her in on the fact that Eren was ok...

Keeping his hand firmly in Eren's, Levi lead him into the department. Hanji dropping everything to rush over to them, throwing her arms around Eren   
"Honey! What happened?! Are you ok? Levi, what the hell happened?"  
"See, I told you she'd be mad at me"  
"Mad doesn't even come close. Someone said you were on the railing? Come tell Mumma Hanji all about it"  
"He was sleep walking, or having a panic attack. He left the doors open to air the apartment while he was sleeping"  
"Oh my god! Are you hurt?"  
"He's got a few grazes on his hands"  
"I keep asking Eren, but all I'm hearing is Levi's voice"  
"Because my omega is being squashed by your shitty hug. The police wanted a mental evaluation, but we all know Eren had panic attacks and nightmares"  
"I still need to talk to him. If I don't ask all the questions, people get cranky"  
What was the point of asking the questions when they already knew the answers?  
"The departments pretty full tonight, Levi why don't you take him into the visitors room? It should be a little more private, and I'll be right in when space opens up"

The visitors room was just as plain and depressing as he remembered. The outdated powder blue walls weren't comforting in the slightest. Sitting down on the blue sofa, he pulled Eren into his lap, letting the omega hide his face against his neck   
"You ok?"  
"I feel fucking stupid"  
"You're not stupid"  
"I'm fine though. Shaken, and confused, but physically fine"  
"Other than your hands"  
"They'll be fine. This... this is a waste of everyone's time"  
"I don't know about that. I mean, if you wanted me to come home, you probably could have found a better way..."  
"That's not funny"  
He thought it was...  
"You're right. I'm sorry"  
"I thought you would have made some joke about me falling for you"  
"Not this time"  
It was way too close for comfort. "Falling" pick-up lines were definitely not ok right now  
"I don't see why we have to come down here"  
"For the paperwork. It shouldn't take too long though"  
"Are you allowed to stay?"  
"Yeah. Hanji will ask you a few questions about how you've been feeling lately. How hard it's been to get out of bed. Those kinds of things. She also needs to give you a once over to make sure you're not being abused. After that, I can take you back home"  
"Then you go back to work?"  
"Probably not. Not unless a call comes in"  
And even then... yeah, no. Erwin would organise someone else to step in. Only a fool would drag them apart right now  
"I'm sorry"  
"You don't need to be sorry. You just need to be ok"  
"I don't know if I am"  
"Because of the sleep walking?"  
"Yeah... I've never done that before"  
"Think of it more like a panic attack. Like sometimes it takes you a few minutes to come back to reality, and even then you're a little disoriented"  
"That doesn't make me feel any better"  
"Probably not"  
"I just feel so stupid"  
"You said that"  
"That's because I do"

Hanji came in with a heavy sigh, Levi could smell the lingering hints of vomit. He didn't envy her over a vomiting patient   
"Sorry about that. Right. Let's get those hands dressed. We can do these stupid questions while I dress your hands"  
Eren stared up at Hanji blankly, the omega had fallen silent, though he was still nuzzling into his neck  
"You can come back through now, we've got a bed open"  
"Eren, time to get up"  
"No, I want to go home"  
"I know, and we will"  
"I'm sleepy"  
"Sorry Eren, I promise I'll be done as soon as possible. Then you can go home and go to bed with Levi"  
Levi swore Hanji sounded slightly pissy about that. It wasn't like he was hiding their relationship, because it had only literally just turned back into a relationship in the back of the ambulance. Rising with Eren in his arms, Hanji rolled her eyes   
"Really?"  
"He's sleepy"  
"Come on through"

Eren was barely awake as he mumbled answers to Hanji's questions. Sitting with the omega slouch sitting between his legs, Eren's back was to his chest, Levi's chin on his shoulder. Hanji had tried to evict him completely during her questions, but Eren had started getting upset, so instead he was banned from talking, outside of translating the mumbles Hanji missed.

 

*  
Innocent kisses turned not to so innocent on the drive back to his apartment. Eren mewing into his mouth as they made out. Forgetting everything around them as they lost themselves in the confirmation of their feelings. By the time they did finally make it back to the apartment building, both of them were hard panting messes. With his legs wrapped around Levi's waist, Levi strode confidently from the ambulance and into the elevator, Erwin having dropped them off near the underground parking garage. Crashing into the wall of the elevator, he barely had time to hit the button to their floor before Eren's lips were on his again. The heat between them was like a fever, their need as if they were in their respective rut and heat. He couldn't stop touching his wonderful omega. His omega. Eren was his. Finally. Nearly nine months after he'd come into his life. 

Rushing across their apartment, Levi carried Eren straight to his bed, laying the omega down like the precious beast he was before settling between Eren's long legs. Staring down at his brat, Eren's pupils were blown with lust, his hands reaching up to cup Levi's face, pulling him down into another searing kiss. Rolling his hips, Eren broke the kiss with a gasp  
"Eren?"  
"I... I want you"  
"Are you sure?"  
"My heart... my heart feels like it's going to explode"  
"You're beautiful, so beautiful"  
Sitting up, he pulled his jacket and shirt off, while Eren did the same. A shy smile coming across Eren's lips as he blushed. Taking Levi's hand, he placed it on his chest. Eren's heart was racing just as fast as his own  
"I don't know what to do..."  
"I'll take care of you"  
"I know you will"  
"If you need to stop at any time, you tell me. I want you to enjoy this"  
Eren nodded his consent  
"Give me a minute"

Climbing off the bed, Levi grabbed a clean towel and shucked off his pant, before thinking about the fact taking his boots and socks off first wouldn't have been easier. Grabbing condoms and lube from the draw, he rejoined Eren on the bed  
"Lift your hips for me"  
Whining, Eren's hand slid down towards his tenting erection as he did as he asked. Sliding the towel under the omega, Levi then took hold of Eren's hips, running his hands up Eren's sides, and back down, then pulling down Eren's sweats and underwear smoothly, the smell of slick making him moan, just as much as the sight before him. Eren was thoroughly sodden. Whining, he reached for him again  
"I'm here. I'm here with you, beautiful. So good for me. Lower your hips back down"  
Eren was so perfect. He didn't care about the scars on the inside of the omega's legs, instead he nuzzled into them, kissing and gently sucking along each one. Above him Eren started to whimper  
"Eren?"  
"They're ugly"  
Climbing up, he used his right hand to support himself as he cupped Eren's right cheek, his lips ghosting against the omega's  
"They're not ugly. Nothing about you is ugly"  
Kissing him deeply, Eren moaned, his hands gripping Levi's hips. Encouraged, he pressed another kiss to Eren's lips, before beginning to kiss his way down, Eren's skin so soft and warm against his lips as the omega wriggled and squirmed  
"That tickles"  
"It's supposed to be erotic"  
"It tickles"  
Licking and nipping at Eren's left hip bone, he then blew gently over the spot, goosebumps erupting up Eren's side. Eren had put in four kilograms, according to Hanji's physical last night and he was so fucking proud of him for that  
"I know we've had sex before, but I want to do this properly. I don't ever want to hurt you. Will you let me?"  
"Y-yes..."  
There was a tinge of fear in Eren's scent, Levi forcing himself to make all his moves visible for the omega. He knew Eren had some issues with touching himself, but didn't fully understand his fears. If he freaked out and Levi didn't notice, it could be yet another set back for the omega. So. Forced to ignore the throbbing of his leaking erection, he first grabbed two condoms. As much as he wanted Eren to be a mess beneath him, he didn't want to deal with the wet spots   
"W-what are you doing?"  
"Condoms"  
"Oh..."  
"Don't worry, just enjoy this"  
Rolling the condom down Eren's dick, Levi jerked him gently, Eren bucking his hips up with a hiss   
"Oh shit..."  
"If you think that feels good, just wait until you see what comes next"

Even though Eren was dripping slick, Levi still lubed his fingers. Last time they'd done this, Eren had been in heat, his body naturally loose and open for breeding. Rubbing gently against his opening, Eren gasped, his scent souring   
"Eren"  
"Don't... please don't... don't..."  
Fuck. Change of plans. Wiping his hands off, he crawled out of between Eren's legs, letting the omega curl up as he started to beg "no". Climbing up lay beside his omega, he slipped an arm between Eren's head the pillow, lifting and guiding Eren into his hold  
"Eren, it's ok. You're ok. No ones going to hurt you. I've got you"  
Choking on a sob, Eren shook his head  
"I'm sorry! I can't.... I can't. I'm sorry"  
"No. Hey, no. No. I don't want to do this if you're not ready or comfortable"  
"I want this... but it's wrong... I'm wrong"  
This was going to turn into a full conversation. Using his toes to find a blanket, he felt around and pulled it enough for his hand to reach. Pulling it up over them, he crooned softly  
"Nothing's wrong. Nothing's wrong with you"  
"It's dirty"  
"Dirty? Sex is always dirty. It's part of what makes it so good"  
"N-no... no. It's wrong to touch yourself. Zeke said. Zeke said it's wrong"  
Fucking Zeke. Sex wasn't dirty. Millions of people fucked. There wouldn't be much of a human race without fucking  
"Eren, do you think it's wrong for two people who care about each other to be together?"  
"What?"  
"Is it wrong for people who care about each other to have sex, when they're in a relationship?"  
"N-no?"  
"Sex isn't dirty. Touching yourself isn't dirty. It's how omegas and alphas get through their ruts and heats. If you don't, it only makes them hurt more"  
"I... Zeke said it was wrong. He showed me it was wrong"  
If he wasn't dead, he'd be dead all over again   
"Eren, I promise you, it's not wrong if it's something you want for yourself. This. This body is yours. It is up to you and only you what you do with it. You're beautiful Eren. And so fucking precious to me"  
"I..."  
"We don't have to do anything tonight. I'll get your pants and you can use the towel to wash up"  
"I'm sorry"  
Kissing his forehead, Levi nuzzled into him   
"You have nothing to be sorry for. Absolutely nothing. I'll let you get cleaned up, while I take a shower. Do you want to sleep in here with me tonight?"  
"Y-yes"  
"Alright. I'll try to done as fast as I can"

With his boyfriend cleaning himself up, Levi's shower took longer than predicted. The ache between his legs too intense to ignore as he jerked off. He was so fucking stupid. He'd gotten so caught up in the fact Eren was his and alive and alright. He hadn't thought things through. Now he was jerking off because his alpha couldn't calm down, and he didn't want to scare Eren by poking him in the arse, or with his scent. Coming cross his hand with a low groan, his alpha was still angered that he'd spent himself in his hand rather than inside their omega. By the time his scent had calmed enough for him to return to his room, Eren was fully dressed again. The towel gone, and Titan on his bed beside him. Padding across to Eren's side, he slid in under he covers, forcing Eren to uncurl himself   
"I'm sorry"  
"You've got nothing to be sorry about. Now get under the blankets, you're hard to cuddle up there"  
"You... want to cuddle?"  
"Only with you. Anyone else, not happening"  
"Maybe I should go back to my own room"  
"You are staying right here with me, where I can keep you close"  
Wriggling down and under the blankets, Levi pulled Eren up against him  
"Levi"  
"Shhh, it's ok. We're just going to sleep"  
"I... thank you"  
"Mmm, you're welcome"  
So what if they couldn't have sex right away. Eren was his, and one day, they'd be able to get through this together.

 

*  
Waking up with Eren in his arms, the omega was panting in his sleep. It took him all of five seconds to realise why. Eren was hard, and Levi was harder. The omega trying to mount him in his sleep, rocking and grinding harder against him Eren groaned, tensing briefly before falling lax. Levi's own underwear was sticky mess, making him releasing that maybe sleeping together after the previous night might not have been such a great idea. They'd both come in their sleep, rutting up against each other, and finding pleasure while they'd slept through it. He wanted to scream with annoyance. Eren had wanted him... but only while they slept. It was some kind of cruel fucking joke. And since when did he come in his sleep like a shitty teenager?! Careful not to disturb Eren, the front of his sweats was soaked with slick. No wonder he'd fucking come. How could anyone deny Eren's sweetness?

The mess in his underwear was impressive, especially after jerking off the night before. Peeling the soaked undergarment off, he dropped them into the laundry hamper, before covering them up. He's chuck a load of washing on once Eren was awake, but for now he needed a shower.

Drying and dressing, Levi headed into the kitchen. Eren had wanted to make him breakfast, so now he was going to put in extra effort and make breakfast for his lover. Were they still lovers if they didn't have sex? Boyfriend it was. He was making breakfast for his boyfriend. Boyfriend. A thrill ran through him at the thought. Eren was his fucking boyfriend! They'd gone about things the longest fucking way possible, but they were finally there. Now what the fuck came next? He didn't know what people did when they dated. They already cuddled and kissed, and with sex off the table, wasn't that all there was? 

Eren timed his emergence perfectly. Just as Levi was setting down their scrambled eggs, which had started their lives as omelettes, down on the dining table. From his dripping hair, he could tell the omega had just showered, a blush reddening his cheeks as their eyes met  
"How did you sleep?"  
"Good... I... thought you'd left me..."  
"I'd never leave you. You were so sweet wanting to make my breakfast, so I wanted to do it for you"  
"Thanks. This looks good"  
"I'm not sure about the taste though"  
"It... it looks good, thank you"  
Dropping a kiss on Eren's head once he's taken his seat, Levi moved to sit across from his boyfriend. Watching as Eren picked up his fork, before placing it back down  
"Something wrong, brat?"  
"I. Last night. I'm sorry"  
"You don't need to be sorry"  
"I do. I... want to explain"  
"Eren, you don't need to explain, if you're not ready, that's fine"  
"It was Zeke. I was. I was in the bathroom and I touched myself. He always told me how dirty and wrong it was... and he walked in. He was so mad, he slapped me a bit and made me take a cold shower. Last night... I kept waiting to be slapped. I... other stuff happened... but I... I'm sorry. I know you won't hurt me, so if you don't want me... if you don't want me, I'll understand"  
Pushing his chair back, Levi rushed around the table. Pulling Eren into his arms, he held him tightly   
"No. No, now that you're my boyfriend, I'm not letting you go. I don't mind waiting. I've waited... I've waited so long to meet an omega as perfect as you. I don't need sex"  
"I'm not perfect"  
"Neither am I, but you're perfect to me"  
"I have scar and secrets I can't ever tell"  
"And no matter we'll get through it"  
"How? How when sex is... I want to touch you and be with you..."  
"We'll work it out. I'm so proud of you. Thank you for telling me, I know it was hard"  
"I... I thought that's why you'd left me"  
"No. Hey. Even if I had to go to work, I would have woken you up first. You're my boyfriend"  
"Can you say that again?"  
"Which bit? That your my boyfriend?"  
"Mmm. That bit"  
"Eren Yeager, you are my boyfriend"  
"And you're mine"  
"I am. Now eat your breakfast. Erwin's probably called in sick for me"  
"What? No... I'm fine"  
"I don't know yet, but the fact my phone hasn't been going off, and the fact he hasn't shown up. He's probably already called in"  
Walking back to his seat, Levi sank back down  
"Is he mad?"  
"No. Trust me, that was barely anything compared to what else we've seen"  
"Ok... then, after breakfast, can I show you something?"  
"What do you want to show me?"  
"I... just, please. Promise you won't laugh"  
"That depends what it is"  
"Levi, please"  
"I won't laugh, but you've got me curious"  
"It's... really embarrassing"  
"I'm sure it's not that bad"

Levi washed and Eren dried, the dishes cleaned and put away in a matter of minutes. Leaving him to wiped the bench and stove top down, Eren vanished into his room. Making sure the kitchen was completely clean, he cracked a can of wet food for Titan, the cat skidding as he came flying from the sofa. Scratching his head, Titan paid him no mind  
"You fat shit. You better not get between me and Eren, he's going to be around here for a long long time now"  
"Levi, go sit on the sofa!"  
"Give me a second!"  
Binning the can and rinsing his hands, he dropped down on to the sofa  
"Right, I'm here"  
"Close your eyes"  
Closing his eyes, Levi's curiosity only grew  
"Are you ready?"  
"Yes, Eren"  
"Ok... just... don't freak out"  
Levi jumped when something solid hit his lap. Multiple solid things at that. Opening his eyes, he looked down, then up at Eren. Trying hard not to laugh  
"You said you wouldn't laugh"  
"You just dumped a pile of sex toys on me"  
"I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to do with them"  
"And I do?"  
"Hanji said I need to embrace my sexuality... what does that even mean? And I really don't want to um, to um use any of these. I don't want them in my room"  
"And what am I supposed to do with them?"  
"Suffer with me? I don't know? You're the responsible adult here"  
Picking up a bright pink rabbit, Levi had to fight to not laugh at the stupid thing. It was like Hanji had picked the girliest shit possible  
"How about we pack them up. And then if you ever feel like it, we can maybe try them?"  
He sounded just as inexperienced as Eren did over the whole thing  
"We don't have to. That's completely up to you"  
"I can't. I mean. I don't know what most of these things are"  
"We'll pack them up for now. I think today should just be about relaxing"  
"You want to spend all day inside?"  
"Do you have a better plan?"  
"No. Not really"  
"Eren, is there something you want to do? We can do anything you want"  
"I... was thinking I'd like to get my hair trimmed?"  
"We can do that, is there anything else?"  
"N-no. Are you sure it's ok though? To not go to work?"  
"You're more important than work"  
"It's just... I know you. I know you're trying to figure out the Zeke thing. This won't mean... that we can't go?"  
Eren picked a great time to be bringing up his dead brother, especially with dongs in his lap   
"Eren, I told you we're going. One day isn't going to change that. Now, we are packing these up and putting them away. Then we'll go get your hair trimmed"  
"Can we... maybe find a present for Marco? He didn't have a baby shower because he doesn't really have that many friends"  
"Yes. First a hair cut, then a present for Marco and the baby. And we could probably do a basic food shop too"  
Dropping the box, Eren sidestepped around the table, throwing himself into Levi's lap despite the toys now both poking at them  
"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"  
Nuzzling into his cheek, Eren pressed kisses to his lips between the words  
"Best alpha ever!"  
With Eren radiating happiness, he really did feel like the best alpha ever.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soz not soz!!!  
> Step by step we're getting there...

Cuddling with Levi, Eren wasn't looking forward to tomorrow. He'd said he would go stay with Marco before he and Levi had finally started dating, and now he didn't want to go, but Marco wouldn't come stay with them. Something about nesting instincts and needing Jean's scent around him. He just... really didn't want to go. The whole sleep walking thing was also weighing heavily on his mind. He didn't want to hurt Marco or the baby  
"You're thinking again"  
"Mmm. Sorry"  
"Do you want to talk about it?"  
"No. It's ok. I was just thinking about Marco"  
Levi sighed softly  
"You know I can come around and check on you both, and we can text and call"  
"Marco said he needed it to be a neutral space. Whatever that means"  
"It means he doesn't feel right about having the smell of anyone but pin dick around. It's a pregnancy thing"  
"But you're my boyfriend"  
"And he's going to be scared without Jean there. You're very brave for saying you'd stay with him"  
Great. He'd kind of hoped maybe Levi would "ground" him, even though that was completely horrible and he didn't want to do that to Marco. Levi had let him become so selfish... and fat. He'd noticed it today. He couldn't see his ribs anymore, unless he reached it up. He felt sick seeing it. He knew he was still underweight, Hanji had said so, but he felt fat. Dancers were supposed to be thin and beautiful... but he wasn't a dancer anymore  
"What's wrong? Something else is on your mind"  
"It's nothing much. I just want to lay here and cuddle with you, and Titan"  
"Where's Titan?"  
"Under the blankets, he's got his back to mine"  
"I feel replaced. All I got was farts and a bum to the face"  
"He still loves you"  
"He better. I'm the one paying for his fat arse to live in luxury"  
Eren laughed softly. Levi always threw his walls up when he was saying something nice, especially about Titan. He'd even done it to him a few times since they'd started dating. He still couldn't believe Levi wanted him  
"You'd be lost without him"  
"Maybe... we should sleep"  
"I don't want to sleep"  
"You need sleep"  
"I want to spend as much time as possible with you before I go to Marco's"  
"As sweet as that is, I have work in the morning, remember?"  
"Fine, you can turn the light off"  
"You don't need to sound so disappointed"  
"I'm... I miss you already"  
"Let's sleep then. We can spend the morning before work together, then there's the drive over"  
They had to leave earlier than Levi usually would because of the drive. If they didn't, Levi wouldn't make it to work in time.

Perhaps it was the worry of staying with Marco, but Eren's dreams that night were nightmares. Instead of the faces of the alphas who'd hurt him. Who'd left him chained and starved him, it was Levi. Levi hurting him. Levi beating him. Levi leaving him. A cold sweat clung to his body, as he snapped awake. His ankles throbbing as if still in those chains, while his heart was racing. Beside him, Levi was still sleeping. An arm around his waist and a smile on his lips. Thank god. Levi was still here. He hadn't left him. Rolling in Levi's hold, he kissed his boyfriends lips softly. Levi had no idea how much he meant to him  
"Mmm, Eren?"  
Sighing softly, Eren settled back against his pillow. Levi sleeping leaning forward to kiss him and poking him in the eye with his cold nose  
"You ok?"  
"Yeah. Go back to sleep"  
Kissing him again, this time Levi managed not to poke him in the eye. Laying with their chests practically against each other, the alpha slung his leg over Eren's hip, before letting out a content sigh. He could feel how hard Levi was. It wasn't unusual or as scary waking to find his boyfriend hard, because Levi never pushed for more. Even the times Eren had woken to find he'd had a wet dream, Levi respected him and his body, never once making a fuss over it. It'd gotten so bad, Eren now had to wear pads to bed, or risk soaking through his pants with slick. Still. He didn't mind. Well, he did, but sleeping with Levi, like this, made it all worth it. Feeling a little braver, he rolled his hips against Levi's, enjoying the breathy moan Levi gave. Even if he wasn't ready for sex, he'd spent the last few days thinking that he maybe wanted to try touching Levi again more intimately. After all, Levi was the only alpha he was ever going to be with. The man had done so much for him, he'd even found him a new counsellor after the sleep walking thing. Unlike with Thomas, his new counsellor had let Levi come in for the first appointment, and listened as his boyfriend carefully explained his anxieties for him. The first appointment had really been a kind of meet and greet, and the second one had been three days later, where he felt much better about talking with her because she knew who Levi was and his importance to him. It was hard to relive things and explain them all over again, building a new relationship up between them, and though he'd only been to those two appointments, he wasn't as scared for the third like he had been with Thomas. She'd even said that if things got too hard, Levi could sit in. He didn't want Levi knowing his past. Not when he was trying so hard to get over it and have a future with Levi. Grinding harder, Levi let out another sexy moan  
"If you keep that up, I'm going to kiss the shit out of you"  
"Maybe that's what I want"  
Opening his eyes, Levi searched his  
"Eren"  
"I... I've been thinking about this. I think I want to touch you and I want you to touch me. Not like sex... just... touching?"  
"Are you sure? I know you're nervous about staying with Marco"  
"This isn't about Marco. This about me. I want to learn not to be scared, and I want to do it with you"  
"Come here, you"  
Rolling Eren onto his back, Levi smoothly climbed between his legs. Wrapping them around his waist, his rising erection brushed Levi's as the alphas lips found his all over again. Focusing on the sensations their kisses brought, he slowly let himself relax. The nightmare was just that. A nightmare. It might have been his reality for years, but this was his reality now. Rocking against him as they kissed, Eren began to move, grinding up and trying not to panic at how good it felt. Their erections trapped between their bellies, and clothes. With clothes on, Levi couldn't see his body. He couldn't see the scars he hid while working as a dancer, or his belly. With his clothes on, he could hide his flaws. Arousal filled the air as their scents mixed, Eren gasping for breath as he mewed, exposing his neck for Levi. His boyfriend wouldn't just mark him, but he'd given him a hickey once and Eren loved seeing the mark every time he looked in the mirror. A little tiny spot of proof. Proof he was Levi's  
"Shit brat. Fuck... you make me so fucking horny"  
Not really sure what to do with his hands, he slid the up Levi's shirt holding onto his sides   
"Levi... feels good"  
"Are you close?"  
"Yeah"  
Starting to nip and kiss neck like he wanted, Eren groaned, his rutting against Levi growing more desperate until finally  
"Levi!"  
Coming hard, Levi moaned against his neck. The alpha rocking twice before letting out another moan. Both sweaty and panting, Eren immediately felt stupid tears   
"Eren?"  
"I'm ok"  
"You're scent's changed"  
Pulling him up, Levi sat him in lap, Eren's legs still wrapped around him as his boyfriend started rocking him  
"I'm here"  
"I know"  
"Too much?"  
"N-no"  
"Then why are you upset?"  
"B-because it felt good"  
"It's supposed to feel good. I felt good too"  
"But you didn't put it in me"  
Levi snorted, a smirk on his lips   
"No. But making you feel good made me feel good"  
"Are you sure?"  
"You made me come in my pants. You might not know this, but I hate filth"  
"I noticed... you always reclean what I clean"  
"And you still made me come in my pants, because being with you feels good. Even with clothes on"  
"It feels sticky"  
"That's because you came too"  
"It's... it's not dirty?"  
"No Eren, it's not dirty. Though we both need showers"  
"I... I don't think I can shower with you"  
"Ok. Then why don't you shower first?"  
"I don't want to lose your scent"  
"You're not losing my scent. I know you've got my spare work jacket packed, and one of my shirts to sleep in"  
"I'm scared I'll hurt him"  
"You're not going to hurt Marco or the baby. I know you're not"  
Nodding against Levi, both of them stayed like that until it just felt really gross and cold from their cum  
"I... I think I want to try this again... not now, but soon"  
"Then I'll look forward to it"

Eren clung to Levi's side once they were both showered. His arms around his boyfriend as Levi made them breakfast, even though Levi had asked him repeatedly to let him go so he didn't get hurt. He didn't want to let Levi go. Even if he was being a bad omega. He was so scared Levi would get hurt and die while he wasn't there. He didn't want to be the last to know. Everyone seemed to think he couldn't handle the truth. He'd had to work out on his own that Hanji's pregnancy hadn't stuck. No one told him that. He just noticed it in her smell and lack of swell. His heart ached for her, knowing how much she wanted a child. A thought that had become much more appealing now he was with Levi. Levi would make an amazing father. He knew society shunned "old" parents, but as long as they weren't like way old, he didn't see the problem.

Jean was gone by the time they got there. Marco was already crying over the loss of his mate. His sobs making his stomach and boobs bounce as he stood in the doorway looking lost. Wanting to respect Marco's wishes of not having another alpha's scent in his home, Levi kissed him goodbye on the front door step, waiting for Marco to answer the door before leaving them. Walking into Marco and Jean's house, it wasn't what he'd expected from his friend. Everything seemed to be styled more towards Jean and his bad taste in sports obsession. Jean really didn't seem like a jock alpha though. Settling down on the sofa with Marco, Marco sprayed him down with scent canceller, ruining the traces of Levi on him. On the plus side, his friend couldn't smell how distressed this made him. It was going to be a very long two weeks.

 

*  
Keeping up with Marco's moods was impossible. Horny. Hungry. Angry. Hungry and a sobbing mess. All before breakfast. He missed Jean. Marco missed Jean and he wasn't doing too well. Being the only one in the house with him, Eren had the front row seat. Living with Marco meant having Jean's scent around him constantly, something in the lingering scent left him feeling drained. Levi's scent was like sunshine to him, while Jean's just filled him with a deep unease. His omega rejecting the smell of an alpha that wasn't his own, while dealing with Marco's mood on top of it... he was struggling. He had to be very careful to make sure his own scent was muted with cancellers so as to it upset Marco, but it was hard. Especially when Marco made him share a bed with him. With his friend getting up every five minutes, every fucking night, he hardly got to sleep, and when he did, his dreams were never pleasant. He didn't know how much more he could take. 5 days seemed like it would be a life time and a half. He'd already had Levi swing by twice when it all got a bit too much, and he'd had to skip his counselling appointment because Marco didn't want to be alone.

Marco had been especially moody all day, so when they finally climbed into bed for the night, Eren waited until Marco started to snore before calling Levi. Tears in his eyes over it all. Marco had snapped at him, when all he'd been doing was their dishes. He'd washed them carefully, placing them on the already wiped down counter so he could put them away. Marco had snapped over them still being out. He couldn't help it. He couldn't magic the dishes away like in some movie. When Levi didn't answer, he felt even worse. And then he felt guilty for calling his boyfriend when he must be at work. Eventually he cried himself quietly to sleep.

When Eren woke next, he could smell something wasn't right. The space between him and Marco was soaked. Great. Marco had wet himself once while he'd been sleeping, and now it seemed like he'd done it again. Pushing the blankets back, he released it wasn't the smell of piss. Marco's arse was wet, his friend moaning in his sleep. Placing his hand on Marco's shoulder, he shook him awake. Marco letting out a long pained whine as he woke, his hands flying to his stomach  
"Marco?!"  
"Eren... I... the baby"  
"What's wrong with the baby?"  
"I... I think the baby's coming..."  
What. No. Marco had weeks to go. He couldn't go into labour now. Not now. He couldn't drive. Marco couldn't drive. Not while he was in labour. Whining again, Marco rolled onto his back  
"Fuck... Eren. Eren, it's coming"  
How was that his problem? He didn't know what the fuck to do! He was fucking freaking out. No. He couldn't. He couldn't freak out. He needed to help Marco!  
"Marco, are you having contractions?"  
"No. I'm just in pain for no fucking reason. Shit. I'm sorry"  
"Ok. I'm going to call Levi. I'll call Levi, he knows what to do"  
"I need to go to hospital"  
"He's a paramedic. He knows what to do"  
"Eren..."  
"You call Jean. Call Jean and tell him what's happening. While I call Levi. How far apart are you contractions?"  
"I don't... I don't know. Eren... Jean. I can't do this without him"  
"I know, ok. Ok. I need my phone"

Begging Levi to pick up, his boyfriend finally answered his fucking phone on the third redial   
"Eren?"  
"Levi. Marco's in labour... what do I do?"  
Levi swore loudly, yelling something out to probably Erwin   
"Eren, I need you to stay calm for me. Has Marco's water broken?"  
"Y-yes... his contractions... are..."  
He had to gauge it from Marco hissing and holding his stomach, then try to remember how far apart they were, while panicking and not letting it show  
"About two minutes apart..."  
Levi swore again. Eren didn't like the way it sounded  
"Ok. Ok... fuck. Ok. Eren, I want you to see how dilated Marco is. It sounds like he's already skipped a few steps"  
"How what?"  
"How open he is..."  
"I..."  
"Eren, there's a major emergency in progress. I can't get there right now, but I can talk you through everything until we get there"  
"No. Levi. I can't do this"  
"You have to. I know you can do this. I know you're afraid, but Marco and the baby need you. Put your phone down, and check on Marco for me"

He didn't want to lose Levi's voice, but Marco was already sobbing into the phone to Jean. His friend smelt so fucking scared. Levi was right...  
"Marco, I need you to take your pants off for me"  
"What? Why?"  
"I need to see how dialated you are"  
The word didn't sound like how Levi said it... Marco began shaking his head   
"Marco, Levi and Erwin are coming. I need you to stay on the phone, keep talking to Jean, but first, pants need to come off"  
Marco wasn't exactly helpful with getting his thin pyjama bottoms off and soon Eren was looking at more of his friend than he wanted to see. He had no idea how doctors and nurses could take looking at vaginas and arseholes. This was definitely not a job for him. Marco was already slicking like crazy, probably to help with birth, his hole open and puffy... grabbing his phone back up, his voice shook  
"Levi, what do I do?"  
"I need you measure how open he is"  
"What?"  
"Use your fingers and tell me how open Marco is"  
"Ugh! Sorry Marco"  
Marco moaned as his fingers touched his friends opening. Cringing as he closed his eyes, his fingers slipped inside his friend with no resistance. He shouldn't be doing this. Nope. Uh ugh. No way. Pulling them free, he whimpered to himself   
"Eren?"  
"He's um... looser than 3 fingers"  
Levi swore again  
"Ok. Ok. Make sure he's comfortable. We'll be there as soon as we can be"  
"Wait. What does that even mean?! Levi?"  
"It means the baby is coming, and it's too late for Marco to be driving himself. There's been a 16 car pile up, traffics backed up. We are coming. Ok, but you need to take control of this. Marco's instinct will kick in. But it's going to be messy. His body will tell him when it's time to push. You have a little while. Try and make sure he's relaxed as possible. He might want to get up and walk around, or stretch. He can shower if he wants to"  
"Levi"  
"Eren, you can do this"  
In the background Erwin called out Levi's name  
"Eren, I'll call you right back"  
"No! No, Levi. Please"  
"I know you've got this"  
He didn't have this. He didn't have this at all! He needed Levi, but with such a big accident, he supposed to everyone else, giving birth wasn't as big of a deal.

 

*  
Levi was rushing to get to Eren. Of all the nights for Marco to go into labour, it had to be the night of one of the worst car crashes in Shinganshima's history. A truck's load had been too big to fit under the underpass, pealing back the top of the truck and sending debris everywhere. The first three cars had taken the brunt of the debris, causing the crash pile up. 6 had died, 4 were in a critical condition. The truck drive had had a heart attack, and traffic was backed up for kilometres. It'd happened a little before 9, but there'd been some sporting thing on, causing the unusually high levels of traffic. So yeah. Tonight was the worse night possible. Then the patient they were transporting had crashed. Erwin forced to do CPR while Levi drove. The usually clear Emergency lane was filled with impatient trash, trying to creep their cars around the accident and ultimately clogging the side of the road.

When they finally reached the hospital, he'd gone to call Eren back, finding his phone flat. His boyfriend sounded panicked. He didn't blame him. Male birth was harder than female. Male omegas didn't always dilate as far as women. He was anxious, agitated and exhausted. Erwin was taking forever to do the hand off, and instead of worrying about the life of the young woman they'd been trying to save, all he could think about was Eren. Praying his omega was alright. Marco's instincts would help him, but Eren was just along for the ride.

When Erwin climbed back into the ambulance, his face was grim. His friend probably wanted nothing more than to take 5 minutes to recenter himself, but they didn't have five fucking minutes   
"Did you call Eren?"  
"Phones dead"  
"Do you know the address?"  
"Vaguely"  
He'd been there a grand total of three times. The last two times because Eren was struggling to deal with Marco's needs. They'd cuddled in the car, sharing a few kisses, until Eren finally headed back inside to take care of Marco. His boyfriend was so fucking strong. There was no way he could put up with Marco's tantrums, even if the omega's body was flooded with hormones he couldn't control, and filled with fear for his alpha who wasn't there.

Pulling up at Marco and Jean's house, his heart was racing. Erwin jumping out to grab his kit, while Levi jogged up to the front door, which was still locked. Eren told him about the key they kept under a pink pot, just in case some kind of emergency had happened, and Levi was certain this was an emergency. Finding the small key under the dirty pot, he let himself in  
"Eren?! Marco?!"  
He'd never been in the house before, but following his nose, he found Marco's room  
"Eren? Marco?"  
"Shh"

Kicking open the bedroom door with his foot, he couldn't help but smile at the sight. Other than the blood and after birth. Marco was staring down at the tiny life in his arms, Eren sitting beside him. It'd been a completely shit situation, but his boyfriend had gotten Marco through it   
"Where were you?"  
"Sorry. We were delayed, and then my phone died"  
Walking over to Marco, Levi squatted down. The omega was drenched in sweat, stinking of pain and exhaustion but he didn't seem to notice at all  
"It's a girl"  
"Congratulations, Marco"  
"Her name is Mina Rose Kirstein"  
Eren nodded,  
"She's only a few minutes old... I don't know if I did everything right, and she still needs to be cleaned"  
Eren and Marco both needed to be cleaned, Eren had blood on his hands and arms, while Marco was still exposed   
"Erwin's bringing the kit. We'll have a little look at her, and he'll get you cleaned up"  
"Thank you... she's so perfect"  
"She is. She looks just like you"  
Eren kissed Marco's temple, but something was off with him. Coming into the bedroom, Erwin spoke softly  
"Congratulations"  
"Thank you. She's perfect"  
"How old is she now?"  
Eren piped up  
"About 10 minutes"  
No wonder they were both so exhausted. When he focused on Eren, he could see how badly his boyfriend was shaking   
"I'll call it through, let Mike know we're coming in. Levi, I'll let you examine her"  
"Ok, don't worry Marco, I'll just move to the other side of the bed. I wouldn't dare take her too far away. Has she had a feed yet?"  
"No... not yet. I can't stop staring at her"

The little girl was perfect. Her cord hadn't been cut, just tied off with what looked like a piece of pillow slip. Tidying her up for Marco, the baby girl really was adorable. Her breathing and heart rate good. Sending Eren for warm water and towels, his boyfriend came back blood free. The water on the cooler side of warm. With very careful movements, he cleaned her down. Marco trying to pay more attention to her than to Erwin between his legs. There was a fair amount of tearing, so he'd definitely be spending a couple of days in hospital for it. While they were doing their jobs, Eren had disappeared again, reappearing with two soft blankets, baby clothes and a nappy. His boyfriend really did think of everything. Knowing she'd be poked at all over again at hospital, Levi placed her in her nappy, socks, beanie and light green shirt, before bundling her carefully for Marco to take back  
"She's perfect. Everything looks good"  
"Eren, you'll call Jean right?"  
"Yep. I just need to grab your go bag"

Erwin stayed with Marco in the back of the ambulance, while Eren rode in the front. Jean was apparently flying back, though he'd spent most of the birth on the phone with Marco. His boyfriend was crying softly, and thought it was completely against regulations, and healthy and safety, Eren was laying down with his head against Levi's leg. He knew Eren wouldn't abandon Marco until Jean arrived, but they really needed to talk. It looked to him like Eren was suffering and that wasn't ok.

 

*  
Eren was exhausted. Marco was cuddling with his daughter, while Eren just wanted to run. Logically he knew nothing Marco had said to him during the birth had counted, but three fucking hours had passed before Levi showed up. 3. He knew it was going to take a while. But three hours. He'd had to deliver Marco's baby, while his usually mild mannered friend hurled all kinds of abuse at him. He hadn't been able to talk to Levi or Erwin, both alphas had to return to working, probably at the accident site.

With Marco and Mina sleeping, Eren was watching over them, waiting for Jean to arrive. Once Jean was finally there, he'd figure out how to get back to Levi's. He definitely didn't want to go back to Marco's. Marco had been in so much pain, and there had been way more blood than he'd expected. He still felt cold and sick from seeing it all, even if he'd felt a rush when Mina had been born. As the door to Marco's room swung open, the scent of an omega in heat, hit him in the face  
"Marco!"  
Jean. In that instant he became furious. Marco had worked hard to deliver Mina, and Jean dared to show up smelling like another omega?! Snarling! He rose from the visitors chair, marching over it Jean and grabbing by the arm, forcibly dragging him back out into the hall  
"Eren? What the fuck?"  
"How fucking dare you!"  
Jean's eyes narrowed   
"How fucking dare you! You show up now. After Marco's exhausted from delivering your baby girl! And you stink like another omega! An omega in heat! He fucking loves you and what? You were off fucking someone else! Did you think about what the would do to him?!"  
Slugging Jean in the face, the alpha growled  
"You're fucking crazy!"  
"I can fucking smell it on you! Marco loves you! He adores you! And you cheated on him!"  
"Wait? What?! I didn't cheat on Marco"  
"You smell like an omega!"  
Jean started to laugh   
"I knew you were insane. I knew you were dangerous, but Marco liked you! I didn't fucking cheat on him. Just because your alpha doesn't give it to you like he should, doesn't mean you get to make up lies to get between Marco and I!"  
"You smell like omega! You reek of it! How's Marco going to feel? You showing up after everything, and smelling like another omega!"  
"A fucking omega went into heat on the plane! I never touched her, she tried to get at me, but I never fucking touched her! Do you know how I feel? I missed the birth of my fucking daughter and you had to deliver her! Thank you for delivering her. Now stay the fuck away from my family you fucking jealous freak! I would never cheat on Marco he is the love of my life"  
"You can't go in there like that"  
"What?"  
"You smell of omega. Go ask the nurses for scent canceller"  
"I... why the fuck should I do anything you say?"  
"Marco's upset and hormonal from the birth. He might jump to the same conclusions I just did. For his sake, go spray yourself, then go meet your daughter"  
Jean gaped at him, Eren crossing his arms as he leaned against the wall by Marco's door   
"I'll wait here"  
"Fine"

It was hard not to fall apart. He'd gotten so mad. Mad enough to snarl and hit Jean. He didn't particularly like Jean, and had jumped to the wrong conclusion. He was right. He was a fucked up freak. Marco deserved a much better friend than he was. Marco deserved everything good, and so did little Mina. He'd just... he didn't want Marco being hurt. Not when he was so vulnerable... and even with the things he'd said. When Jean came back, he longer smelt of omega. Ignoring Eren completely, he stalked into Marco's room, closing the door behind him. Eren now shut out.

Confused and hurting, Eren started walking. He just wanted to go home. He wanted to climb into bed with Levi and cuddle until he felt better. Purring as he walked, he started to hiccup as he cried harder. He didn't know how to get home. He knew Levi's building, but he couldn't remember the actually street address. Reaching the front of the hospital, he sank down on the same bench where he'd met Erwin, not that he actually remembered it. Drawing his knees up, he slid his phone out his pocket. His battery was nearly dead, the bright light practically blinding. He didn't know who to call. Hanji and Moblit were both swamped. Levi and Erwin were at work. Jean and Marco were with Mina. He didn't have anyone else. Breaking down further he sobbed and sobbed. He felt all alone again. Like he had nobody again.

Left out in the cold, the sun started rising while he was still sitting outside. He might have been left there forever if someone hadn't come along   
"Excuse me, are you alright"  
Sniffing, he wiped at his face. Looking up, he couldn't make the blurry figure out  
"Eren?"  
"S-sorry... do I know you?"  
"I'm Mike. I work with Hanji. Are you alright?"  
Mike. He knew that name... his brain was too taxed to provide details though   
"I... can't get home"  
"You can't get home?"  
Sniffling he wiped at his still streaming eyes  
"Levi and Erwin are working. So is Hanji and Moblit. I... don't know who to call"  
Sitting down next to him, Mike pulled his own phone out   
"It's a little after 6... Moblit should be off soon. Geez, you're freezing. How long have you been out here?"  
"I don't know"  
"Alright. You're living with Moblit aren't you?"  
"N-no. Levi"  
"You live with Levi?"  
"He... he's my boyfriend"  
"Wow. No one told me that. Right. Let me try calling him"  
"He... his phone is flat"  
"It's a good thing I have Erwin's number then"  
"I don't want to disturb them"  
"You won't be. Did they leave you here? You came in with that omega and newborn, didn't you?"  
"Marco and Mina... his alpha came"  
"And you've been out here since?"  
He felt stupid when Mike said it like that. Hiding his face again, he just wanted to go home  
"You're not falling asleep on me, are you?"  
"N-no"  
When Mike started talking again, he knew he wasn't the one he was talking to. Laughing about something, Mike nudged him gently  
"Levi and Erwin have another few hours left, but Levi said I can go ahead and give you a lift back. I just need to grab his key from Hanji"  
"But... you don't know me"  
"Levi and Hanji, are both my friends. Besides, can you imagine how angry Levi would get if I didn't make sure his boyfriend got home alright"  
"I don't want to put you out"  
"It's fine. Levi's apartment isn't that far my own"  
"Then... thank you"  
"I'll be right back"

Mike was nice, Eren decided. He kind of remembered him, from the hospital. The alpha had blasted the heat to warm him up, then trusted him with the key to Levi's apartment, not wanting to upset him further. So yeah. Mike was nice. Dropping him off, the alpha stayed long enough to make sure he'd gotten inside. He didn't push or ask him what was wrong, instead he chatted off an on at him about Levi, and how happy he was that Levi had finally found someone who understands him. Mike however was forgotten as soon as he stepped into Levi's apartment. The first thing he did was shower. Scrubbing away Marco's scent, he threw up down the shower floor. He tried so hard to be there for his friend. It didn't feel like he deserved any of the abuse... maybe from Jean, but Marco had said he "could never understand what he was feeling" and that he "was surprised someone so loose wouldn't have a pup already". The cherry on top being "you're never going to go through this because no one wants you". Marco has apologised for it all. But it sounded like an after thought. Like when someone insults you, filling meaning it, then saying "just joking" after it. Maybe Marco was right. No one was going to want him. Levi probably didn't even want him. He'd tried so fucking hard to be good, but Levi still left him at the hospital with Marco. They didn't even get to talk. Not really. He'd delivered a fucking baby, and no one had told him he'd done a good job. Jean was the closest there. What if there was something wrong with Mina? It would be all his fault.

 

*  
Levi had thought his day was done, until another fucking crash happened almost right in front of them. Traffic was flowing again, Levi asleep on his feet. More then ready to collect Eren and head home. Then... life decided nope. Stuck attending the scene, he was forced to wait even longer to see Eren. The idiot behind the wheel hadn't noticed the light change, and he'd been stuck waiting for the fire department, to cut the wanker out the car. So when Mike called Erwin to tell him Eren needed a lift home, he felt even fucking worse. He was the one who was supposed to be taking care of his boyfriend. He was the one who was supposed to be the one his omega could rely on. Yet again. He'd let him down. At least Mike would get Eren home safely. His boyfriend had had an exceptionally long night, and would probably already be in bed by the time he got home.

When he stumbled into the apartment, it was deathly silent. Titan didn't come running, and the whole place stank of pain. Eren wasn't happy. Stripping off his work clothes, he dumped them in the washing machine. The white suds wouldn't wash his day away, but it would wash away the filth. Taking a quick shower, the bathroom smelt of vomit. He couldn't emotionally deal with any more shit today... but Eren. He couldn't just leave him to suffer. He just hoped he didn't put his foot in it. He was so exhausted that a migraine was beginning to form, the last thing he needed was a screaming Eren.

His boyfriend was in his bed, his purrs interrupted by soft huffs. His heart hurt. His boyfriend was devastated by something. Walking over to his bed, he slid in beside Eren, cupping his chin and making him look up at him. His bright green eyes were so dull, so sad, and so very red  
"Oh Eren"  
"L... Levi"  
"I'm here"  
"I... I'm sorry"  
"You've got nothing to be sorry about. Come over here, brat"  
Wrapping Eren's arm around his waist, he pulled him up, threading his fingers through Eren's still damp hair. He didn't know what to do or say. Eren had delivered a fucking baby. The baby of his best friend  
"Do you want to talk about it?"  
"No. I just want this"  
"Alright. Let's get some sleep. I'm sure we can figure everything out in the... whenever we woke up"  
Massaging Eren's scalp, the omega's purrs taper off. His boyfriend mumbling   
"I... I don't want to wake up"

Sleeping through the day. Eren wasn't in his bed when he woke up. Still fatigued, he crawled from bed with a long groan. He could definitely use another 8 hours sleep, but as it was, he probably had work soon. Venturing into the living room, he found Titan sitting on the sofa, looking less than impressed  
"Eren?"  
There was a shuffling in Eren's room. Trying the door, he found it locked  
"Eren, are you ok?"  
There was a "fuck", a thud, then the rattle of the door knob. Opening the door, his boyfriend looked wrecked. His face red and sweaty, hair pulled into a messy bun. Wiping his face, Eren backed away  
"Sorry, did I wake you?"  
"No. I woke up and you were gone..."  
Nudging the door open with his boot, he frowned at the boxes over Eren's bed  
"What are you doing?"  
"Packing"  
Levi's alpha surged with anger. Why the fuck was Eren packing?! It was a struggle to keep his anger from seeping out  
"Why?"  
"B-because I'm a fucked up freak... I can't... Levi. I can't do this to you. I can't bring you down to my level"  
"You're not making sense"  
"I'm a fucking freak! I'm a slut! I'm useless and no one will ever want to breed me because I'm not relationship material! I thought I was doing ok! I thought... I thought we were ok... but I'm... just nothing"  
"What the fuck?! Which fucker said that shit?! Eren. You're not a slut. You're not a freak and you would be an incredible mother. And most importantly, you are not moving out. You are my boyfriend and I want you here. With me. Now, we're going to talk because yesterday was absolutely fucking shit. Come sit down with me. Talk to me, ok. Tell me what happened?"  
Who the fuck had hurt Eren enough to make him think he wasn't wanted?! He was fucking livid.

Leading Eren over to the sofa, he pulled him into his lap. His boyfriend letting out a shaky breath   
"Eren, what happened?"  
"I... yesterday was so scary. I didn't know what I was doing"  
"You did amazing"  
"No... I didn't. I didn't do anything right"  
"Hey, you did everything right. Mina is perfectly fine, so is Marco"  
"He yelled at me... I know he was in pain... but he made me feel so worthless. I was helping bring his baby into the world while he was telling me I had no idea he felt and I never would because no one would want kids with me"

Ok. Not cool. Yes Marco would have been in a whole butt load of pain, but Eren was with him. He'd tried to get help when he realised he didn't know what to do. It wasn't his fault there'd been a fucking accident and every had been called out to that. Even if he had called through to emergency services, Marco would have just been logged and they would have been told help would be there as soon as possible  
"I couldn't get through to you. Marco was screaming and there was so much fucking blood. Then... then I punched Jean too..."  
"He got to the hospital?"  
"A few hours after you guys left. He smelt like another omega, and I got so mad. He smelt like an omega in heat. I didn't even give him a chance to explain. I started yelling at him for cheating on Marco. An omega went into heat on the flight... he called me a fucking jealous freak. He told me to stay away from his family. He doesn't want me around Marco. He thinks I'm crazy. I am. Aren't I?"  
Fuck both Marco and Jean. It was only thanks to Eren that their daughter was alright. He'd even got clothes for her. Clothes for Marco. Made sure Marco had his phone and charger. Photos of him holding Mina. Called Jean when they got to the hospital to let him know the room number. He'd stayed with Marco, so his friend wouldn't be alone. And now they had their baby, they what? Didn't need him  
"Eren, I'm so sorry"  
"I didn't know who to call, you were all busy..."  
"Erwin said Mike found you outside. How long were you there?"  
"Few hours. Jean wanted me gone"  
That wasn't ok at all. He'd really fucked up yesterday. He'd wanted to take Eren home after they'd dropped Marco at the hospital, but he'd thought his boyfriend was happy with his friend  
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you"  
"It made me realise how fucking useless I am. I didn't even have the house keys, so I couldn't catch a taxi here. I couldn't go to Hanji's. I had no where to go"  
If he'd gone to the emergency department, Hanji would have let him through to the visitors room, or the staff room. But Eren had been too upset to think about that   
"The fact you didn't have you keys is proof of how good of a friend you are. You were only thinking of Marco and Mina, and while Marco was in pain, he had no right to say those things"  
"He thinks I'm a slut. I never..."  
"I know you're not"  
"Because I danced. I only danced. Others did stuff, but I didn't... why did he have to say that?!"  
Eren smelt more angry than sad. He'd thought he was sad, but apparently that was a no. It was nice to see that spark of fire again  
"I don't know. I'm sorry I wasn't there. And that my phone died"  
"I put it on charge earlier. I um... rang you a lot"  
"I'm sorry I couldn't answer. Work yesterday was fucking horrific"  
"Did... people died, didn't they?"  
"Yeah. Then some fuck head nearly killed themselves wrapping their car around a power pole"  
"I'm sorry. My shit is so insignificant. I'm such a bad omega. I'm so stupid"  
Eren raised his fist, trying to punch himself in the face  
"Eren, no. No, you don't need to do that"  
"I am... you see horrible, horrible things every day. I couldn't... I couldn't do what you do. You save people. You help them. Your hands are always hard and cut and sore from work and cleaning, but they're so soft when you touch me. You're such a good alpha... I thought I was being a good omega, but I don't know now"  
He didn't realise Eren had noticed his hands. He frequently had contact dermatitis from scrubbing his hands after every activity when he couldn't wear his gloves, and from the chemicals he used to keep the apartment clean. It was... he was... Eren was amazing  
"No, Eren. To me. To me you're amazing. You amaze me every day with your courage. Yesterday, we never got to talk, but seeing Marco holding Mina and knowing you fought through your fears to help him, that was brave. You're so fucking brave. You did so fucking good"  
Nuzzling into Eren's temple, he kissed the spot. He'd been happy once, and he'd lost it all. But with Eren... Eren gave him hope for the world, and for his future   
"I have work tonight, but there's a few hours until then..."  
Hopefully  
"... so why don't we make something to eat together?"  
"You don't want me to go?"  
"The only place I want you to go, is to the kitchen. I know you've been sneaking looks at the cookbooks"  
"I can read almost all the words now"  
Tickling Eren's side, his boyfriend laughed  
"When were you going to tell me that?"  
"Um... I don't know? But I couldn't have got this far without you"  
"Then you're going to love what comes next"  
"What comes next?"  
"You're going to pick a recipe with me, then you're going to read out each of the steps to me. I want to hear how far you've come"  
"But... I might stuff up"  
"So? If you get confused, show me and we'll work it out together. We'll always work things out together"  
"Because... we're stronger together?"  
Fuck. How could his boyfriend be so perfect?! How could he keep bouncing back, after everything life continued to throw at him? His strength of will was amazing  
"Yeah. You and me. We're stronger together"


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eren experiences another proper heat and learns that maybe a little touching is ok...

Coming off of work, Levi eyed the clock with a yawn. It was a little after 7. The perfect time to get things done. Well, one thing. Retrieving Eren's things from Marco and Jean's house. He might be over stepping, but seeing Eren so broken hearted wouldn't leave his mind. Also, he was hoping Jean had a black eye, the horsefaced arsehole certainly deserved it.

Walking up to the front door, Levi may have knocked slightly harder than socially polite. A small wave of pleasure rose up when he saw how exhausted the alpha was when opened the door, unfortunately he wasn't sporting a black eye...  
"What the fuck do you want?"  
Such nice manners so early in the morning. His alpha was itching to teach Jean his place. To make him thoroughly suffer... but... responsible adulting had to come first  
"I'm here to collect Eren's things"  
"Oh. What? Fine. Wait here"  
Keeping his temper until Jean came back with Eren's bag, he took it from Jean. Jean immediately trying to shut the door, which Levi stopped with his foot  
"That's everything"  
"No, it really isn't. You and Marco both owe him an apology"  
"What? Fuck off"  
"Are you serious? What the fuck does Marco even see in you?"  
"Listen man, get the fuck off my property"  
"No. You're going to listen to me. You have absolutely no right treating Eren as you have been. He was here for Marco. He stayed with him, and because of him, your daughter was born happy and healthy"  
"Because he didn't even bother calling an ambulance"  
"No. He called me. A fucking paramedic. He called me because he wanted to know how to help Marco! There was a huge car pile-up. Even if he'd called for an ambulance, Marco would have been put on a wait list, because people were fucking dead and dying in the accident. So yes. Eren called me. A trained medical professional. He was with Marco, when he was giving birth, and abusing him for it. Marco is Eren's first friend. He values him. He stayed with him, and then he was worried for Marco when you arrived smelling like another omega. He was worried. Marco had just given birth without you. His emotions were all over the place. How would you have felt if Marco stank like another alpha after being away for days? Even if you had faith in him, you'd still be upset and confused. Eren only wanted what was best for you, your baby and his best friend. You both made him feel like absolute shit"  
Jean growled, Levi thrusting the verbal knife into the alpha's heart, preparing for the mental kill... because he couldn't actually fucking kill him. Eren had known way too much death in his life  
"You know he's not right in the head"  
For fucks sake  
"Because he's a fucking abuse victim! He's been abused. He saw his brother and mother murdered in front of him! It doesn't matter if you didn't fucking know. You have no right to people like shit, especially not someone who would go out of there way to always to be there for the people they care for. Eren is bright. And happy and he's been through hell and fucking back. So, yes. He's not always ok, but at least he is a better person than you are. Get your fucking shit together and apologise to him. You and Marco"  
Reaching out, he took the door handle as he moved his foot out the way, slamming the door shut in his own face, but also in Jean's. Eren wouldn't be happy he'd talked to Jean about it. In fact, he'd probably be pissed. But fuck it. His boyfriend deserved an apology.

Stopping by the shops on the way home, he picked up a few different pastries and flowers for Eren. He was not a flower person. He'd never ever bought flowers for anyone at all. Ever. He and Eren had made breakfast? together, then he'd had to leave for work. He'd wished he could have stayed. He'd left Eren unpacking his room, and to deal with his feelings alone. With the drive back, it was 8:30am when he parked in the underground parking. Today was going so smoothly. Grabbing out his phone, he called Eren's counsellor for him. Booking him the first available appointment, which unfortunately was the following week. He knew Eren liked his new counsellor much better than Thomas, and he knew his omega wasn't happy that he hadn't been able to attend the last one. Gathering up the flowers and the pastries, he headed up to their apartment.

Titan was at the door to great him as he let himself in quietly. Eren was sleeping on the sofa. Remote still in his hand, while what seemed to be cartoons played softly on TV. His shirt had hiked up, the blanket around his waist, while a smile played on his lips. He looked adorable. Letting his gaze drift down, the start of the smile turned downwards. Eren's ankles free from the blanket, the scars seemed so much more obvious than they'd ever been before. After being by Eren for so long, and hearing his nightmares, he had a fair idea that his boyfriend had been chained up somewhere. Someone had put him in chains and refused to let him go, no matter how much he'd begged them. He hadn't told Eren's his suspicions. He was waiting for Eren to be the one to tell him that. It was obvious he wasn't ready to talk about his past, so until then, he'd keep his mouth shut over it, and support Eren the best he could.

Turning the TV off and covering Eren back up with the blanket, Levi then found a glass to turn into a vase, setting it on a coaster in the middle of the coffee table, before setting the box of pastries next to it. He was tired, but wanted to be there when Eren woke. Taking a shower, he put the washing on, before grabbing the book he'd been ignoring from his bedside table. Returning to the living room, he opened to the bookmarked page. Realising he couldn't actually remember anything that had happened, he flicked back to page one, starting all over again as Titan decided it was time to yowl for his food. Hushing his cat, Titan glared, running over and jumping up by Eren's face, head butting him solidly   
"Mmm. Titan, what's the matter boy? Is it breakfast time?"  
Nuzzling into Titan's face, Titan started kneading at Eren's chest  
"I'm up. Let's..."  
Eren shot up, pulling Titan up with him. The tom yowling again, this time in protest. Letting out a small gasp, Eren looked from the flowers to him  
"Levi?! Flowers?"  
"Yeah. I saw them and stuff"  
Fuck. He was so awkward. It'd seemed a good idea at the time. And Eren looked happy... he just felt like a shitty idiot for doing something so dopey and romantic   
"They're beautiful... um, are they for me?"  
"They're not for me, and I'm not dating my cat"  
"Levi! They're perfect... wow..."  
Setting Titan carefully down, he scrambled up, throwing his arms around him   
"Thank you!"  
"You're welcome, brat. I picked breakfast up too, and your things from Marco and Jean's... but I forgot to bring them up"  
"You didn't have to do all that. I was trying to be awake for when you got home"  
"Is that why you were watching cartoons?"  
"Shit... I didn't mean to fall asleep with the TV on. I'm sorry"  
"I'm not mad"  
"Still... I'm sorry. How about I make you a cup of tea?"  
"That sounds perfect"  
"I can't believe you brought me flowers"  
"Eren, its bought. When you pay for something it's bought. But when you bring it with you, it's brought"  
"Hmm... I always kind of thought they were the same word. But... if you bought the flowers, then didn't you bring them home? Meaning you brought them with you"  
Closing his book, Levi placed it on the arm of the recliner, pulling Eren down into lap. Eren letting out a squeak of surprise  
"My smart omega. You figured that out right away, didn't you?"  
"Maybe?"  
Kissing him, Eren immediately kissed him back, trying to deepen the kiss while wriggling in his lap. As the kiss broke, Eren smiled at him, his face filled with love   
"Breakfast? And then can we cuddle?"  
"That sounds like an amazing plan"

Eren must have taken a hundred photos of the flowers, as well as trying a tiny bit from each pastry. The rest returned to the box and the box safely stored in the fridge. Lead by his boyfriend into his bedroom, which had pretty much become theirs, Eren shyly smiled at him  
"What are you planning?"  
"Can we touch a little?"  
It kind of seemed a waste of a perfectly good shower, while his dick was straight up "hello"  
"Mmm. I can't say no to that. Not when I have such a beautiful boyfriend"  
"Levi..."  
"Clothes on is fine"  
"Um... can I maybe touch you?"  
"You want to touch me?"  
"If that's ok"  
Laying down on his back, Levi raised an eyebrow when Eren didn't move  
"You can start touching at any time"  
"I was thinking"

Climbing up and straddling his lap, the touching Eren wanted to do was of his abs. It wasn't sexual, more like a massage with the occasional kiss thrown in. Starting with his shoulders, Eren worked his way down to his hips, the confused look on his face doing all kinds of things to Levi's heart   
"Eren? Are you ok?"  
"Yeah... sorry. Was that weird?"  
"No. You asked to touch me, and you did"  
"I just... you're always so warm and solid. But I don't really get to see your chest because I'm usually laying on it"  
He nearly pointed out the fact Eren didn't see his chest this time thanks to his shirt, but for whatever reason, this had been important to his boyfriend. Sliding off his lap, Eren crawled over a little ways so he could slide beneath the blankets, Levi taking it as sign to do the same, before spooning up behind him  
"I'm probably going to fall asleep soon"  
"It's ok. This feels nice"  
"Good..."

When Levi woke, he growled lightly. He'd thought they'd dodge a bullet with Eren not being in heat when Mike had brought him home, but from the delicious smell beneath his nose, they hadn't. Maybe that was why Eren had wanted to touch him? Forcing himself to wake his boyfriend, Eren groaned, before practically flying off the bed  
"Le-Levi?"  
"You're going into heat"  
"I..."  
"It's ok. I'll grab my things. I'm not going to hurt you"  
"I... Levi..."  
"What is it?"  
"It hurts"  
"Your cramping because your body wanted your alpha's knot"  
Dropping into a crouch, Eren whined softly   
"It's ok. I promise I won't touch you"  
A promise that was becoming hard to keep. His dick fucking ached to be buried inside Eren's soft warmth. To fill him and breed him, to mark him as his. Everything that Eren wasn't ready for  
"It hurts so much"  
Climbing from his bed, his alpha screamed at him to comfort his boyfriend, while the logical side of his brain screamed at his alpha to "shut the fuck up". Eren wasn't ready for this, and right now, that was his top priority. Grabbing his phone and his keys, he all but ran from his apartment, ignoring Eren's calls for him. He'd slipped up once and fucked Eren while he was in heat. He wouldn't make that same mistake again. The omega was finally his, and as much as it hurt both of them, this was the right thing to do.

 

*  
This was the second worst painful heat of his life, or maybe it was more painful then the one he'd had at Zeke's apartment because he was trapped with Levi's scent. His body felt so hot. His erection aching so badly, but his thoughts of how dirty and impure it was touch himself, wouldn't leave his mind. He'd tried to shower and to bath, but nothing was bringing relief. His body was crying out for Levi. His omega instincts demanding he be bred, but having delivered a baby, breeding was even scarier. He'd seen how hard it'd been for Marco, and Marco was a good omega. He wasn't a good omega. If he was, then Levi wouldn't have left him... No. Levi was a good alpha and left because he knew he wasn't ready. He hadn't understood why he'd wanted to touch Levi so badly. To feel boyfriend toned chest beneath his fingers... but now he did. Levi was a more than suitable mate in every manner. He'd wanted to touch Levi because he wanted the alpha to touch him too. Not whatever he'd spat out in embarrassment. From the shower, he'd returned to Levi's bed. Climbing under the covers and moaning at the alphas scent. Getting on all fours, he nuzzled into Levi's pillow, slick steadily streaming down his inner thighs as he lowered himself down, rubbing his dick against the sheets in a blind need. He didn't even realise what he was doing, not until he came into the towel still around his waist. His orgasm so intense, his whole body shook with the effort to not fall into his own mess. A deep shame hit him. He'd just fucked Levi's bed. Whimpering, he shoved the blankets off and rushed back to his own room, locking the door behind him. He shouldn't have done that! Why had he done that! And why was he on his hands and knees? He didn't understand this kind of heat. He hated his usual ones, but he could mostly cope through those. These ones he didn't get. On shaky legs he sank down on his bed. He needed to apologise to Levi for being so bad.

Worked up, in more ways then one, Eren called Levi's number. He'd been scared Levi wouldn't answer, but when the alpha did, his omega swelled with happiness  
"Eren? Are you ok?"  
"Levi... I'm sorry..."  
"Hey. No. It's not your fault for going into heat"  
"I don't know what... what to do. It hurts"  
"It's ok, I'm here. I'm sorry I had to leave you"  
"N-no. Thank... thank you... but I just messed up your bed"  
"Eren, I want you listen to me. Can you do that?"  
"Y-yes"  
Just the sound of Levi's voice had him slicking even harder. His dick bowed so hard that cum was dribbling against his lower stomach  
"You do whatever you need to do. Having a heat is not dirty"  
"I came... in your bed"  
"And we can rinse the sheets. It's ok"  
"But..."  
"I know your heats are weird, but it's nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about"  
"They are"  
"Eren, I promise I don't find them wrong in any way"  
"It's dirty"  
"No it's not. Listen to me. It's not dirty. I promise you. Now, is it like your usual heats?"  
"N-no... it hurt more"  
"Ok. What that means is your body wants an alpha there to soothe you"  
"I don't..."  
"I know you don't. I know. That's why we're on the phone. The toys you didn't know what to do with, are in my room under the bed"  
"I..."  
"Shhh, just listen to me. Using some of those toys will make it hurt less, even though I know you're scared. If you need to use those toys, then use them. I don't want you to suffer"  
"It's wrong"  
"Eren, do you really think I would lie to you or try to trick you?"  
"N-no"  
"Then listen to me. I'm not going to think you're bad for touching yourself to get through your heat. And I don't care how many toys you need to use to do so. I promise I'm going to care about you all the same amount once your heat has passed"  
"Really?"  
"Yeah"  
"I don't know if I can do this"  
"You're amazing and you're strong. I know you can do anything and everything you put your mind to. This is your body Eren and your choice. Ok?"  
"T-thank you"  
"You're welcome. I want you to message me between your waves of heat and let me know that you're ok"  
"I... I'll try"  
"And don't forget to eat and drink lots. Your body burns through a lot of energy while in heat. So promise me you will"  
"I will"  
"I'll see you as soon as I can"

He tried not to use the toys. His fingers didn't feel right though. Every time he started feeling wrong about it, he forced himself to remember Levi's words. Levi didn't find this dirty or wrong. When the peak of his heat hit, he finally caved. He'd already moved back into Levi's room because it felt safer, so retrieving the box of toys wasn't that much effort. He just didn't know what to do next. There were so many different things, and his omega didn't know what it wanted, only to be full. Finding one with a suction cap, his mind settled on it. He could do this. Levi wanted him to do this. 

Pushing it onto the wooden floor, he nervously laughed at the "schtuk" sound it made at it stuck. He didn't know exactly what he wanted to do, but he did know what he wanted to do on Levi. He'd seen other dancers giving blowjobs before. The recipients seemed to really enjoy them, even women though he wasn't sure how that worked. Kneeling, he tentatively ran his hand up and down the silicone shaft, trying to imagine doing this to Levi. Curious, he slid his lips over the top, sucking hard on the plastic as his dick throbbed. He'd never thought he'd actually feel like he liked this... or hard from sucking on a plastic dick. Bobbing his head up and down, his right hand gripped his dick, jerking frantically as he tried to take the dildo deeper in his mouth. Coming, he pushed his mouth too far down, gagging as he choked. Ok. That wasn't fun. He didn't like that. Even as his orgasm rolled through him, his stomach still cramped. It wasn't enough. He needed more. His mind hadn't cleared in the slightest.

Clumsily he tried to mount the dildo. His slick making it nearly impossible to slide right down as the plastic would slide up his arse crack. He cheeks flamed with embarrassment. If Levi was there, he probably would have died from it. When he finally lined it up, the blunt head didn't feel right. He wanted to scream and escape, but instead he clawed at the tops of his legs, pushing himself to keep sinking down, before dropping. He saw black for a moment. Everything hurt. His arse throbbed at the sudden intrusions, but slowly the throb began to feel more pleasurable. Instead of just pain, he felt full, like his omega wanted. Groaning, he slowly rocked against the dildo. He wasn't supposed to be feeling this good. Closing his eyes, he could almost believe it was Levi inside of him. The scent of the alpha was still strong in the room. Rising and falling, he found a rhythm that made his whole body feel good. His head killed back as he moaned and mewed, fucking himself like his dynamic demanded. Zeke had told him this was wrong, but why did it feel good then? Coming across the floor in a few small pulses, he continued to ride the dildo. Imagining he was putting on a show for his boyfriend. Imagining Levi was telling him how brave he was and now proud he was. This was how he ended up getting through his heat. He only used the one toy, and it didn't fill him the way his omega wanted, like a knot would. But it did take the cramps away and without the cramps being so bad, he could kind of do things. 

 

*  
When Levi came back, Eren was sure he'd fucked himself into some kind of a daze. All he wanted to do was cuddle. His depression not so bad, other than the need to cling. He felt bad that Levi had to clean everything up, though he had done the floors, but his boyfriend had arrived home much faster than he'd expected him to. It wasn't even half an hour between saying his heat he'd finally passed, to Levi walking through the front door. Making sure he ate and drank, Levi then carried him to his bed, probably because the sheets from Levi's were still in the wash, and laid down with him, peppering kisses to his shoulder as the alpha sighed softly to himself   
"Levi?"  
"What's up?"  
"Are you mad?"  
Levi sighed again, Eren flinching at the soft sound  
"No, I'm not mad"  
"Are you sure?"  
"I'm sure"  
"Then why do you keep sighing?"  
"I didn't realise I was"  
"You are"  
Levi snorted, his breath tickling the back of Eren's neck   
"I'm not mad. I was worried, but you came through your heat"  
"I... touched myself"  
"How did it feel?"  
"Really wrong, but it hurt so much, then maybe alright"  
"And now?"  
"I don't want to think about it"  
"Your heat or touching yourself?"  
"Both... I kept thinking about you"  
"I missed you too"  
"I... I'm sorry. Every time I started to get scared, I thought about you"  
"Then why are you sorry?"  
"Because it felt wrong"  
"Eren, it's not wrong to think about your boyfriend"  
"But I feel like I broke your trust by thinking about you without permission"  
"Silly brat. You don't need permission. I'm flattered you thought of me"  
"You're not disgusted?"  
"No. Would you be mad if I said I thought about you?"  
"Me?"  
"Yep. Your heat started a rut"  
"I'm so sorry"  
"You don't need to be sorry. We're taking things slow, and I like it"  
"But ruts are supposed to hurt too"  
"It was fine. Besides, I knew you were going through the same thing in your own way. All I wanted to do was come home and make sure you were safe"  
"I'm sorry you had to leave"  
"You don't need to be sorry. I promised I'd still be here at the of your heat, didn't I? And I came back home"  
"Are you sure it's ok?"  
"It's more than ok. It makes me feel proud to know you're safe and here. That I can provide a safe and warm place for your heat to pass"  
"I spent most of it in your room. Your scent makes me feel so safe"  
"I'll take that as a compliment. I know you're sleepy, but I didn't get a chance to tell you last week"  
What hadn't Levi told him? They're texted... so why hadn't Levi told him whatever it was?! Was it bad? Did his alpha not want him anymore?! His scent soured, causing Levi to hush him softly... but he had to know now, his voice shaking   
"Tell me what?"  
"It's nothing bad, I promise. You have a therapy appointment tomorrow. I thought after all that happened, that it would be a good idea"  
"Oh thank fuck. You're an arsehole. I thought you were going to say you wanted to dump me"  
"No. I'm not dumping you. Not now and not ever if things go the way I want"  
"You sounded mad then serious"  
"Then I'm sorry. I also have something else I need to tell you"  
"What is it?"  
"I've been approved for leave. Two full weeks, at the start of November"  
He couldn't remember what month they were in. He was pretty sure it was towards the end of September, but he'd have to check his phone. His heat had thrown his internal body clock off. Someone could tell him it was January and he wouldn't be surprised   
"Does that mean... mean we can take Zeke?"  
"Only if you're ready. I'd still like to take you to the ocean"  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yeah. Even if you don't find the perfect place for Zeke, I thought we could spend some quality alone time together"  
"What about Titan?"  
"Hanji will check in on him. He's got his feeder and his water, so he'll be just fine"  
"The ocean..."  
"Yeah... we can get a nice room, and maybe go on a date?"  
Eren let out something that sounded suspiciously like a giggle   
"That would be nice"  
"That's what I thought. I'm going to make you a doctors appointment too"  
His happiness turned back into confusion   
"Why?"  
"Because if I hadn't woken when I did, we might not have been able to seperate in time. I never want to make you feel uncomfortable..."  
"But the only time we had sex was during my heat. It's probably a smart idea"  
"Eren, you know I..."  
"Levi, it's ok. It's more than ok. It shows you really do care for me. You're thinking of my health, for me... you're always thinking of me. It's a good idea. I wanted you so badly, and it was... let's just say, it was hard to hold back"  
"I thought you might be mad"  
"No, I'm not. Thank you. Just, I won't take a suppressant"  
"I don't mind. In fact, I'd prefer you didn't. I like coming home to your smell, and I'm not the best at always reading the mood, so your scent helps me understand. Also, I don't want you to suffer from having your heat messed with"  
Snuggling back into Levi's hold, his boyfriend threaded their fingers together  
"Get some sleep brat. I know how tired you are"  
"Mmm. Tired doesn't even come close. I have sore muscles that I didn't even know existed"  
"Did you bath?"  
"Yep. Bathed and showered... I tried to clean up, but I'm sorry if I missed anywhere"  
"It's alright. I'll take care of it"

 

*  
Eren's heat had been a mess. It was obvious he'd tried to clean up, he'd just sort of failed in spots. Like the bathroom hamper... from the bundle of towels, Levi seriously doubted Eren had clothes on at any point of his heat. Lifting them out the basket, he hadn't been able to stop himself from growling at the scent of Eren's slick and spent cum... nor had he been able to stop his already aching dick from getting hard again. He'd spent his rut at Erwin's place. A week of absolute misery for him. He'd found Eren's bag of clothes, and pretty much built himself his own nest to get him through his rut. He wanted Eren every single second of it. He wanted to come home, throw Eren onto their bed, bury himself between his legs and never come out again. Only, Eren's heat wasn't his usual one. The only thing usual about it was the lack of change before it. No changes in his scent, until bam! Eren was in heat. His poor boyfriend had been so scared and confused, but hearing he'd finally touched himself was huge. It wasn't just sexy as hell. It meant that Eren was finally opening up to the idea that it wasn't dirty. He'd already found the dildo the omega had used, thanks to dried water stains on the bathroom counter. The long thick toy, pushing him over the edge... unashamedly he jerked off. His dick still tender as fuck from his rut, but when he came into the same towel Eren had, something about it felt right. He didn't understand what his alpha was thinking. This was their boyfriend. Eren would be scared and confused if he found out... but at the same time, he wanted to cover every single spot Eren's heat scent lingered on with his own. The kid had thrown him for a loop, yet again, and while his alpha seemed to get it, this time Levi was just along for the ride. Ever since Eren had come into his life, everything had changed. Not all of it for the better, and some days his alpha was a complete arsehole over it all, but Eren was precious to him like nothing else he'd ever had. Some days it scared him how hard he'd fallen for the omega. He'd had a family before and lost it all. If he lost Eren, he... he'd never recover from that.

A thorough clean through of his apartment helped recenter him. No traces of Eren's heat scent remaining once he was done. He wanted to throw the flowers he'd bought Eren out, but they still had a little life and Eren would be disappointed over not getting to enjoy them... even if they were starting to get pollen all over his table, and crunchy bits of leaves. Maybe he wanted them gone more than he'd realised... no. For Eren's sake, they stayed. His boyfriend lived here with him and they were his gift to do with as he chose.

Eren came wandering out of their room at lunch time, padding softly across to him before dropping into his lap with a groan  
"Everything ok?"  
"Bad dream"  
"Wanna talk about it?"  
"No... I wanna listen to you"  
"To me?"  
"Yeah... just anything"  
"What's the first thing you want to do when you get to the ocean?"  
"Really? You're making me think?"  
"Is thinking bad?"  
"Yes. I don't want to think..."  
"Then what do you want to do today? I've cleaned the apartment, and I'm off work until tomorrow, we're not allowed to work during a rut. So we can order takeout, watch bad movies and cuddle up like this if you want"  
"That sounds perfect. Levi, please D-don't let me fall asleep"  
"I make no promises"

Eren nibbled on some pizza, but seemed happier with cuddling up. Titan laying on Eren, Eren laying on him. He hadn't even realised he'd fallen asleep, not until Eren shot up, screaming Zeke's name and narrowly smacking into his face in the process. Running from the living room, Eren was soon throwing up his guts in the bathroom. Fucking Zeke. Getting up, he trailed after Eren. His boyfriend crying as he vomited. Kneeling down, he went to hug his omega, but as soon as he touched Eren, Eren reeled back, scrambling away from him  
"Don't touch me! Don't! I'll be good... don't hurt him anymore! No! Zeke..."  
With his hands in his hair, Eren started rocking, mumbling Zeke's name over and over. He had no idea what had triggered him. They'd been watching a bad horror movie, but Eren had fallen quiet before there was any actual splatter scenes. He'd made sure it was one he'd seen, with no bondage scenes or murdered parents or siblings... it was probably the wrong movie to be picking while Eren was in his post heat depression  
"Eren?"  
"Go away!"  
"Eren, its Levi. You need to calm down"  
"Zeke, I need Zeke"  
Well Zeke was in a box... in a pile of ashes.... with some hair in a draw  
"Eren, Zeke died. Come on, you need to wake up"  
"Zeke"  
It was a miserable half strangled cry  
"It's alright. You're alright"  
Instead of crawling into his arms like he usually did, Eren pushed him away, fleeing out the bathroom and into his room. Flushing the vomit away, he followed Eren to his room, to find the door handle locked  
"Eren?"  
"Go away"  
"Are you ok?"  
"You let me fall asleep"  
"I didn't realise you were sleeping"  
"I... just want to be alone"  
That was great, but what about what he wanted. He wanted to cuddle his boyfriend and his cat, and just enjoy his day off to recover from his rut  
"Ok. I'll be out here for when you're ready"  
"I'm sorry"

Switching movie to something lighter, his mind wasn't on it. He couldn't figure what had set Eren off so badly. Even running it through his mind, he still came up clueless. He was probably over thinking it all. Eren had had a nightmare before he'd come out to join him on the sofa. He'd flinched when their pizza arrived and had taken a while to settle back against him. If he'd been thinking, he wouldn't have chosen a stupid horror movie, but Eren really seemed to like them. He enjoyed pointing out the mistakes the characters made, just like Levi did with Erwin. He'd thought it would distract Eren from his own thoughts, but it didn't work out that way. Fuck. Trying to be considerate was harder than he'd thought it would be. Even if things came naturally with Eren, when panic attacks happened or the nightmares, his first thought was alway what had he done wrong. How had he set Eren off? He'd never worried about it in that way before, but he had now that they were dating... he felt like any little setback was his fault. He wasn't used to feeling like this. And he hated it. This wasn't him. He knew he wasn't the cause of Eren's "damage". Zeke was... the same Zeke that Eren had wanted over him. As he realised all of this stemmed back to the fact he was jealous of the blonde haired abusive fucker, his mood fell further. Eren was his now. He had no need to be fucking jealous and his alpha could go suck a dick for being such an arsehole.

It took a few hours for Eren to finally come out from his room. One of his new books in his hold as he sank into the recliner, chewing on the pencil between his lips  
"Levi... are you any good at fractions?"  
"Fractions?"  
Tilting the book up, he saw it was one of the grade school text books he'd picked up online for a couple of dollars. After how happy Eren had been to receive the books on animals, he'd put up a small shelf in the omega's room for him. Slipping the occasional gift book onto it, because it was easier to do it than face Eren's happy smiles and scolding over his "wasting of money". Eren had finished The Chronicles of Narnia, but the book lived beside his bed with the small glass dolphin sitting atop it, and the turtle necklace draped around it. He couldn't help but find it funny that Eren had opted for maths, when he didn't want to think  
"I'm not too bad. What's the question?"  
He was 34ish... he should be able to conquer fractions for 10 year olds... though he wasn't going to shatter Eren by admitting that even little kids can do this   
"It's adding fractions, but I don't get it. Numbers are weird"  
"Are you going to stay over there?"  
"I... space"  
"Then sit on the other side of the coffee table, I can't see the numbers if you're over there"

Nope. He definitely wouldn't have thought their day together would be filled with math problems. Eren really wasn't good at numbers. Multiplication ended up with the pencil thrown, while division... the book was thrown... Eren flopping back on his back, while Levi was hiding his smile behind his hand  
"You alright?  
"No more maths. Numbers are stupid"  
"Numbers aren't stupid. You need to at least learn your phone number, my phone number and the address for our apartment"  
Eren sat back up   
"Our apartment?"  
"We both live here... and we're dating"  
"But this is your apartment"  
"When you moved in, it became ours"  
"I... our apartment"  
Eren sounded awe-struck. Like he hadn't even thought of it that way. For a smart kid, he could be so dense  
"Our apartment"  
"Yes, our apartment brat"  
Instead of being like a normal person and crawling around the table, Eren slid his flowers to the side and climbed over it, settling himself into Levi's lap and placing both hands on the alpha's chest  
"Our apartment!"  
He couldn't hide the smile any longer, not when Eren was looking at him like that. Wide green eyed sparking. His smile so big he looked slightly insane   
"Yes, our apartment... you didn't think of it like that?"  
"I... this is the first place I've ever chosen to live for myself... but... I guess I didn't"  
"This is your home too. It's our apartment"  
"Home is where you are..."  
"That's right"  
"Thank you, Levi"  
"You're very welcome"  
"Can you maybe help me some more, with the maths? And help me learn our address"  
"Anything you want"


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Levi........ what are you doin' bro?!

Waiting for Levi to come home, Eren didn't know if he looked alright. Hanji and Moblit were having a dinner party for their friends, so Levi was picking Erwin up, while Eren stayed at home trying to pick something nice to wear. Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, he was an anxious mess. Levi had warned him there would be people there that he didn't know, and that he wanted to introduce him to everyone as his boyfriend. His heart didn't know if he could take it all. Even if it was at Hanji's house. Being in the apartment was more comfortable. Levi didn't force him to come out, unless he wanted to. Sometimes they'd pick up groceries, or Levi would take him for a drive when he had errands to run or appointments, but he preferred to be in the apartment. He had his keys, and knew he could leave at any time... not like being with Zeke. At home he was surrounded by Levi's safe scent. Levi's scent and the solid walls of the apartment. If he wanted air, he could go out onto the balcony, something he hadn't done since his sleep walking incident, but it was still an option. If he really wanted to do something, all he had to do was tell Levi. He only ever said no because of work, or not at the very moment because he was doing something, but then they'd work a time out together. After all Levi did for him, he wanted to look good for his alpha. And for Hanji. She messaged and she called, but it wasn't the same. She always wanted to know how he was and if Levi was treating him alright. Not what he was doing, just how he was.

"Eren, are you ready?"  
Looking himself up and down, he definitely wasn't ready. His hair was a mess. The thin white shirt he had on clung in awkward places, and his jeans made his arse look fat  
"Wow, brat. You look amazing"  
Turning to Levi, he shook his head  
"I feel like something's off"  
"The only thing off, is my desire to take those clothes off"  
Snorting, he shook his head again  
"You're a dork. It takes time and effort to look this good"  
Even if he wasn't dancing, he still liked to keep things neatly trimmed, waxed and shaved. Thanks to his omega side, he wasn't all that hairy, but that didn't mean he wanted to let it all grow free  
"You look perfect"  
"Thank you. I need to grab my shoes and a hoodie"  
"I'll lend you a jacket"  
"Thank you... I'm really fucking nervous"  
"You don't need to be nervous. You know Mike, Hanji, Moblit and Erwin. You've met Petra, but ignore everything she says. Gunther and Eld have been invited, but I don't think they'll be here. Nabana and Olou might be, but again I don't know and the only one you wouldn't have see around is probably Rico..."  
So he'd know 6 people and one of those didn't like him that much...  
"It's ok. If you want to leave at any point we can go"  
"No... they're your friends"  
"And you already know in fucking shit at keeping up with them"  
Not that he was any better. He hadn't heard from Marco since... a few days after Mina's birth when his, whatever he was now, messaged him to thank him. Mid heat, he hadn't replied and then coming out of his heat, it just felt too weird. Like he'd missed his chance. Besides, if Marco wanted to talk to him, he would message him. Or come and see him. He was almost certain they weren't friends anymore  
"Oi. Brat, what's wrong?"  
He hadn't realised his hand had come up to clutch his chest, his panic rising at the idea of not being friends with Marco anymore  
"Eren?"  
"Sorry. I'm ok... just need a moment"  
"I won't leave your side. What was it you used to say, about putting a mask on when you danced?"  
Where was he going with this?  
"You remember that?"  
"No one will touch you. They'll probably want to shake hands, but that's about it"  
Oh... if he didn't feel comfortable, he just had to fake a smile. The alphas wouldn't touch him. That's what Levi meant. Walking to his boyfriend, he kissed Levi's cheek  
"What was that for?"  
"Just because... I'll grab my shoes"

Erwin insisted on asking him what he'd been up to and how he'd been. Though happy someone seemed to care more about his activities than his stupid nightmares and panic attack, he'd have preferred in the drive had been silent. He didn't know if the answers he gave were any good... then for some unknown reason, Erwin started asking about their upcoming trip to the beach. He thought about Zeke every day. He didn't need to think about him while on his way to a party.... with strange alphas, who knew he wasn't quite right in the head. This was a bit too much. Staring out the window, he let himself zone out. Levi was the most careful driver he knew, second only to Moblit but he hadn't really been in Moblit's car all that much. When they arrived it Hanji's, it took him a few moments to calm down, before undoing his seatbelt and climbing from Levi's beast of a car. He was terrified Hanji was going to be mad at him for choosing to be with Levi. Leaving them to catch up, Erwin went ahead with a carton of beer in his arms. Other than Hanji's and Moblit's cars there were three he didn't recognise. Jogging around his car, Levi took his hand  
"Eren, are you alright?"  
"I started thinking about Zeke, and it felt a bit real, and a bit much"  
"Do you want to stay out here for a bit?"  
"I'm calming back down. Your scent helps"  
"Hanji's probably going to ask about the ocean too. She's going to be stopping in to check on Titan, so I have to explain we'd be away from the 6th to the 13th"  
"And she was ok with that?"  
"Of course she was. She's excited to see you"  
"I thought she'd be mad because I didn't come back"  
"Eren, you worry too much about what everyone things about you. If we're mad at you, we would tell you"  
"Would you?"  
"Yes. So, from the cars here, it looks like Petra's here, hers is that pink thing, Olou might have come with her. Eld's car is the grey one, Gunther might have come with him. The..."  
"The other one's Mike's"  
"Yep"  
"I remember... fuck. I still have Hanji's key. I forgot it"  
"You have Hanji's key?"  
"From when Mike drove me home"  
"Oh, it's ok. I'll drop it back to her at work"  
"Are you sure?"  
"I've got it, brat. Ready to head in?"

 

*  
Levi could see how nervous Eren was. The fake smile he'd worn when he met him, painted across Eren's lips as he smiled politely. They were early, but it was obvious why they'd all gathered. Hanji was finally announcing her pregnancy. Eren seemed confused, his brat didn't know she'd lost the first baby not long after he'd moved in with him. This time around, she'd waited to announce it. Her swell almost invisible, yet the huge pink and blue sign in the living room said it all. It was impossible to miss. With a beer in his free hand, his other arm was around his boyfriend. Much to Petra's disgust. She'd perked up the moment she'd seen him, then visibly deflated at Eren being by his side, the omega nursing his own beer while talking with Moblit about dinner. He'd been waiting for Eren to pull away, but when he finally did, his side felt empty without there. Even if it was so the omega could help Moblit in the kitchen.

Not wanting to crowd Eren and Moblit, Levi moved to join Erwin in the living room, where his partner was talking to Petra and Olou. Olou hanging onto every word falling from Petra's pink painted lips  
"Did Eren ditch you?"  
Mock sighing he nodded, Erwin nudging him in the ribs gently  
"I'm sure he's ok"  
"He's helping Moblit with dinner"  
"And he's ok?"  
"Yeah. The brat's a little nervous, but ok"  
"He looks happier"  
"He is. The nightmares haven't faded, but he really likes his new therapist"  
"Eren's in therapy?"  
Petra made it sound like some juicy piece of gossip  
"He's been through a lot. He's doing much better now"  
"You're so kind, Levi. Not many people would take in an emotionally unstable omega, or take in a stranger like this. I've always been drawn in by your kindness"  
"Eren isn't a stranger. He's my boyfriend"  
Petra spilt her drink down her front, squeaking as she did. Levi barely containing his laughter. She'd tried to flirt, then insulted Eren. As far as he was concerned this was karma. Beside him, Erwin was also holding in his laughter. Olou clumsily drew his handkerchief from his pocket, mopping at Petra's chest. Slapping his hand away, Petra placed down her the remnants of her drink. Excusing herself quickly  
"Petra is right. Eren obviously has so kind of..."  
Biting his tongue, Olou cut his own unwarranted comment off  
"Olou, why don't you go make sure Petra is alright?"  
"Oh. Yes. Right"

Olou had only just left when the doorbell rang. With Erwin in no rush to open it, and no idea where Hanji had gone, Levi headed over and opened the door. Standing there, Marco had baby Mina in his arms. Well. Fuck. Eren hadn't said he'd apologised, or even talking to him  
"Hi, Levi"  
"Hey Marco, baby Mina. Come on in, Hanji is off somewhere in here"  
"Thank you. Is Eren here? Hanji said he would be..."  
"He's in the kitchen with Moblit"  
"Right. Jean is just grabbing the stroller, is it ok to leave the door open?"  
"It should be"  
Shyly Marco moved past him, pausing once he was standing in the living room  
"Levi, is Eren ok?"  
He was dying to reply "No, not really. Thanks to your arsehole of an alpha, oh and the abuse you hurled at him". But sometimes, someone's happiness was the hardest thing for a person to hear  
"He's fine. He's been doing really good, and we're going away soon"  
Marco's face fell. For a split second he felt bad, then remembered how Eren had packed up his room, thinking he wasn't wanted, and that feeling was gone  
"Oh..."  
"Something wrong?"  
"I tried to thank him for helping me through my labour, and through everything. I can't remember much of what I said, but I miss talking to him. Without him, Mina wouldn't be here"  
"You'll have to talk to him about that. Even if you didn't mean it, the things you said hurt him badly"  
"I don't know what I said..."  
"Some really horrible things. So did Jean. As I've said to Jean, you both owe him an apology. If Eren doesn't want to talk after that, then that's it"  
"Jean didn't tell me you'd seen him"  
"When I came and collected Eren's things. He's on edge as he barely knows anyone here"  
"Ok..."

"Oh my god! Is that baby Mina!? Marco, I have to have a cuddle"  
Rushing from the stairs, Hanji was cooing like a crazy person as she went for the baby. Emerging from the kitchen, Levi locked eyes with Eren. Eren immediately darting back, bumping into Moblit in his hurry to escape. If the party wasn't awkward before, it definitely was now  
"Oh, Marco. Look at her. She is so perfect. Moblit, come meet Mina"

Leaving everyone else too gush over Mina, Levi headed into the kitchen where Eren was drinking bourbon from the bottle  
"Brat, what the hell are you doing?"  
Giving him a sheepish look, Eren lowered the bottle  
"Liquid courage?"  
"You're more likely to get liquid vomit from drinking it down like that"  
"It's fine. This is nothing"  
"It's not nothing. What is it? Is it Marco?"  
"I... I wasn't expecting him to be here and now he is, all I can think about is the things he said. So. Liquid courage"  
"Eren, did Marco text you?"  
"He sent me a message thanking me... but I was in heat"  
A proper heat. His waves very short, and Levi was lucky to have gotten messages at all  
"Did you reply after?"  
"It felt too late... I'm sorry. I need some air. It's all too much"  
"Just so you know, Jean is here too"  
"I'm going to need the whole fucking bottle then"  
"You'd be dead on your feet, if you did that"  
"I might be an omega, but I can outdrink almost everyone I know. It takes like a whole bottle to get me buzzed"  
"As impressive as that is, you can't just the whole bottle. At least split it with me"  
Eren jerked back slightly, blinking in shock before laughing softly  
"Are you trying to get me drunk so you can have your way with me?"  
"I already know I'm taking you home tonight"  
Eren laughed again, offering him the bottle  
"Mmm. Will you take me straight to bed?"  
"I'm pretty sure I can manage that. I'll even take your shitty shoes off for you"  
"I might let you take my pants off too. If you let me sleep in tomorrow"  
"No one is making you get up early"  
"No, but I like starting the day with you, then falling asleep with you. Wanna go sit out on the back and gossip like teenagers?"  
"You want to gossip?"  
"No. Not really. I just need some air that isn't quite so alphary. Even covered in your scent, it's making my omega uncomfortable"  
"Sure. Is everything in the kitchen handled?"  
"Yeah. Moblit just needed another set of hands for a few minutes"  
"Ok, but I'm not sitting on the fucking shitty back step. You couldn't pay me enough to do that here. Not with how dirty the house is"  
"Hanji and Moblit are busy"  
"And they have a baby coming. They can't raise a child in mess"  
"Kids are messy"  
"There's messy and there's messy"  
"You're just too fussy, aren't you?"  
"Maybe. But I'd rather be fussy than live in a fucking mess. Why do you think I spend so much fucking time keeping our apartment clean?"  
"What? I help too"  
"And some how I end up doing most of the work, on top of everything"  
"So I'm not good enough! Is that it!"  
Crap...  
"Eren"  
"No! If I'm not doing a good job, then why don't you fucking tell me? Instead of laughing at me and making fun of it"  
"I'm not laughing or making fun of you"  
"You are. If you don't like what I'm doing, or think it's wrong, why not tell me how to be a better omega. Fuck. Fuck this"  
Snatching the bottle back, Eren stormed off. Levi pinching the bridge of his nose. How the fuck had they just gotten into a fight?

"Is Eren alright?"  
Levi sighed, his boyfriend was still outside on the backstep... while he was inside, looking out. Watching the omega drinking by himself, he wanted to go out and talk to him, but didn't want to fuck things up even more  
"We fought"  
Hanji snickered  
"What did you do?"  
"I accidentally implied that he doesn't lift a finger at home"  
"What? Why?"  
"I don't know. The words just came out my mouth"  
He more than anyone knew how much effort Eren put into everything  
"Have you tried apologising?"  
"His fucking nerves are shot. Great job inviting Marco and Jean"  
"Why wouldn't I invite them? Marco is Eren's best friend"  
"Marco lashed out at him while Eren helped deliver Mina. Then Jean said he was fucking crazy"  
"Eren must know Marco wouldn't mean it"  
"Because anxiety and depression, are so fucking logical. Of course he knows, but the words still cut deep. On top of that, he's been having some messed up nightmares about Zeke"  
"Has he talked to you about that?"  
"No. He's not ready. He's trying to get his life together and feel stable enough first. Things were going so fucking good, but like usual, I fucking fucked up"  
"Eren adores you"  
"That's the problem. I promised him I wouldn't fucking hurt him, and now I have"  
"By the way he's going through that bottle, I'd say you should probably apologise sooner rather than later"  
Fucking Hanji and her being right  
"I know. I just don't want to trigger a panic attack"  
"Because a drunk, scared omega with access to even more alcohol isn't going to make things worse"  
"Fine. I'm fucking going"  
"Good. Make sure he comes in soon. I've missed him"

Approaching Eren, Levi had his hands out as if trying to surrender or something  
"Eren?"  
"Go away"  
"Not until we talk"  
"What's there to talk about?"  
"Look. I want to apologise"  
"What for? You were only telling the truth"  
"I didn't mean what I said"  
"It's still true. It doesn't matter how many hours I spend cleaning, you always redo it anyway. Why should I even try?"  
Sighing, Levi grimaced as he sat on the dirty step  
"It's not you"  
"What? Is this the "it's not you, it's me talk?""  
"No. Yes. But not like that"  
"This should be good"  
He wanted to slap the little shit upside the back of the head  
"I've lived alone for a long time"  
"You wanted me there"  
"And I still do. I'm trying to say, because I've lived there along time, I'm set in my ways. For you, dancing is what makes you happy. For me, cleaning is my therapy. When I clean, I don't have to focus on all the shit I see at work, or all the shit I saw growing up. My cleaning, is for me"  
"We split the jobs. We agreed on it"  
"I know that"  
"Then why couldn't you just tell me I was fucking useless?"  
"Because you're not"  
"That's not how it feels"  
Hanging his head, the bottle nearly slipped from his hold. Taking it, Eren offered no resistance, probably because it was nearly empty  
"Every time I think I'm being a good omega, I find out I'm not"  
"You are good omega and you are a good person"  
"I watched my mum be murdered. I couldn't fucking move to help her. I was so fucking scared and angry. Then Zeke. He stabbed him over and over. Zeke told me to run. I wanted to move, but I'm too much of a fucking coward. I could have fought them. I could have gotten between them. But I watched him die. The blood wouldn't fucking stop. I couldn't move until they let me go. His blood kept pouring through my fingers and Zeke... he kept telling me to run... I practically killed my mother and brother"  
This was the most Eren had willing said, though it might have been from the alcohol in his system  
"Does your mother's death have anything to do with your scars"  
Eren let out a laugh that hurt to hear  
"It has everything to fucking do with it. But you promised you wouldn't ask... maybe I was wrong about you"  
"Eren..."  
"I don't know what you want me to be. My best. It's not good enough"  
"Are you saying you want to break up?"  
Eren's head shot up, his red eyes boring into Levi's  
"I knew you'd stop wanting me"  
"I never said that"  
"You promised you wouldn't ask..."  
"Shit brat. Look. I know I fucked up. I didn't mean it the way it fucking sounded. I'm not good at relationships, and I'm even fucking worse with words. You sounded like you wanted to talk, so I just assumed. I don't want to make you talk. I want you to talk to me when you're ready"  
"What if I'm never ready? Can you say you want to be me?"  
"Yes. Because you're more than your past. You're strong and amazing. I am the luckiest alpha in the world to have you"  
"I think you're the most unlucky"  
"Then you're wrong"  
Looking back down to his feet, Eren sighed as he rubbed as his eyes  
"Everyone keeps asking how I am. I don't want to talk about that. They never ask me what I've been doing. Hanji. She keeps asking if you're treating me ok. Like I'm some kind of pet. Even when I tell her you take such good care of me, she acts like it's all a joke. I don't understand it. I don't understand if I'm reading it all wrong. I have never had this many people around me. I always had Zeke and I thought I'd be with him forever. He was my world"  
Placing the bottle down, Levi shuffled over so he could pull into tight hug  
"I know you loved him"  
"I can't stop dreaming about him. I can't get him out of my head. I want to be a proper omega for you. I want to give you sex and everything I can. But I can't. Every time I do something I know Zeke wouldn't let me do, his voice is in my head"  
"You know we don't have to have sex for me to be with you"  
"But... maybe I want it for me too? I know you say I'm working on improving myself, but I... I miss feeling sexy and confident. I miss flirting with you, and your bad pick-up lines. Some days you don't even ask me what I've been doing all day. I just tell you and then we cuddle and go to bed. Can you honestly tell me that's enough?"  
"I can. Because it's with you. I stopped asking because you always looked so happy when you told me what you'd been doing. What book you'd read. What interesting fact you picked up. If you'd done yoga or watched movies. It wasn't because I don't care"  
"I know you care. I'm sorry. My head feels so muddled. I know you all take scent cancellers for work, but for me, I can still smell it. It's probably all in my head. It just... so many scents make me feel scared and then I get so fucking angry at myself for my own weakness. And end up lashing out. I'm sorry. You've let me become so selfish. You let me do what I want. You let me eat what I want. You don't check my phone. You don't lock my door and you don't tell me that I have to stay in the apartment. I just... I want to be good for you"  
"You are. You're good"  
Kissing Eren's hair, he held his boyfriend. Eren made it sound like everything they all did every day, was something selfish and not natural. The kid had so much freedom, he was fucking scared of it all  
"You're not selfish"  
"What's the last thing I did for you?"  
"You came to Hanji's"  
"That doesn't count"  
"It does. All these people might be friends, but I hate being in situations like this. People say you have to be happy when you're around your friends. I just feel old and drained"  
"People say a lot of things"  
"They do"  
"You say you're bad and stuff at talking, but I've seen you. You're not"  
"Tell that to some of the people we've transported"  
"I would. I would tell everyone how much you mean to me and how kind you are, even when you make your cranky faces"  
"My face is naturally cranky"  
"Your face is naturally beautiful"  
"You're the beautiful one, brat. My beautiful omega"  
"I feel like a beast. All ugh, and growly"  
"Fine. My beautiful beast"  
"That ones nearly as bad as "shitty brat""  
"I don't call you that all that often"  
"You do. But it's ok. I kind of like it"  
"You really are a weird one"  
"Probably"  
"You are"  
"Thanks... old man"  
"Could an old man carry your arse around?"  
"Maybe if he was a ripped as you are... seriously. I have to bust my arse with yoga and weight to keep in shape, you're just beautiful the way you are"  
"It has nothing to do with work, at all"  
"Nope. Because I'm talking about your heart. Or I guess it's your brain. Your brain is where you emotions really are"  
"I feel like you read that in a book"  
"I did. I mean the brain bit. You're the one who told me inside counts. I'm just lucky your pretty inside and out"  
"I think you've had enough to drink"  
"I'm sober"  
"I'll believe it when I see it"  
"Then how can I make you believe it?"  
"You could try walking in a straight line"  
"That's too easy"  
"Standard sobriety test is either raising your finger to your nose, or walking a straight line"  
"That's silly"  
"I didn't come up with them"  
"They're still silly"  
Sighing, Eren wriggled in his hold, looking up and over his shoulder he sighed again  
"What's up?"  
"Everyone probably thinks I'm out here because I'm mental"  
"No one thinks you're mental"  
"I wanted to look good enough to be by your side"  
"If they don't accept you, then I don't accept them"  
"You can't say that"  
"I can. Now, I'll introduce you everyone properly. Marco wanted to talk to you, too"  
"Oh"  
"It's ok. He wanted to see if you're ok. He doesn't seem to remember much from giving birth, and seemed upset when I told him he'd run his mouth"  
"Levi!"  
"He hurt you, and that's no ok. But I also think he really regrets what he said"  
"I know he would, if he could remember... maybe"  
"If you want to talk to him, you should. I'll be with you. And there's no fucking way Jean is getting anywhere near you"  
"Thank you... I think it'd be ok if you stay near"  
"I won't leave your side"  
"Unless I need the bathroom"  
"Nope. I'm totally going to follow you in"  
Eren laughed, covering his mouth  
"It sounds so funny when you say "totally""  
"It's supposed to"  
"We should head back in"  
"Yeah... no more alcohol, for now"  
"Spoil sport"  
"If you still want to drink when we get home, I'll show you what good wine really is"  
"I'd like that. I'd like to be able to go on a date with you and know what I want to drink"  
"You're going to regret saying that"  
"Nope. If I'm with you, I regret nothing"

 

*  
Making it through dinner, things were still awkward with Marco. They'd talked a little bit, but then Jean had interrupted and taken all of Marco's attention back, to him and Mina. The tiny girl was so beautiful. Marco had offered to let him hold her, but he couldn't let something so small and fragile into his hold. He was sure he'd break her... and plus, Jean was glaring at him. Hanji on the other hand was happy to see him, and he was thrilled for her. He knew how badly she wanted a baby, and even if the house was messy, he knew she'd be a good mum. Over the night, Levi introduced him to everyone. He didn't really like Olou. When the man heard Levi calling him "brat", Olou seemed to think he could too. Brat was Levi's name for him, and hearing someone else saying it, it didn't feel like a compliment or a joke. It felt like Olou really didn't like him, or appreciate the fact he was around. Eld and Gunther were both ok... but alphas. He could barely look them in face. They were nothing like Reiner and Bertholdt, but the black and blonde hair was... something about it and their closeness left him not wanting to get too close. Mike was ok. He already liked Mike, and Mike didn't make him talk. As for Petra... she glared at him all night, before finding excuses to bump or brush against Levi. Levi looked disgusted, which was a boost to his confidence. So it wasn't all terrible, just terribly long. He also decided that if Marco did text him, he'd try and reply. His words still hurt, and he couldn't forget the things Jean had said... he decided it would depend on what Marco sent him. If he complained in his first text, he wouldn't reply, but if he asked how he was, he would. He still felt used and abused. Complaining was like using him to vent again. He wanted a friendship where he meant as much to the other person as he did to them. A conclusion he was proud of.

When they got back to their apartment, Levi had made good on the promise of "good wine". Apparently he was a cheap slut on wine. They'd barely finished the first bottle when he felt pleasantly tipsy, and wanted to dance. Levi wasn't so sure about the dancing part, but still his boyfriend helped move the coffee table out the way, while Eren tried, and failed, to find a song worth dancing too. Letting his phone shuffle to something random instead. Standing in front of him, the man looked confused, but taking his glass away from him, allowed Eren to wrap his arms around him and rest his chin on his shoulder. Levi wouldn't like the same kind of dancing he did. So they were doing some kind of weird on the spot slow dance, to a song that didn't suit it all  
"I can't dance"  
"You're doing fine"  
"Are you drunk?"  
"Tipsy. Probably because I've only drunk wine a couple of times"  
"You'd have to be drunk to think I'm dancing fine"  
"Dancing is about feeling the music with your body"  
"I'm definitely not"  
"Watch me"

Pushing Levi down on the sofa, Eren stripped off his shirt. Throwing it at Levi's face as he took a few steps back. Taking a breath, he waited for the song to change. Moving with the music, his hands slid across his body, one hand sliding down his abs, as the other side up his chest. Pulling his hair free from the bun it was in, he flicked it out, slowly dancing on the spot as he span, before dropping low and sticking his arse out as he rose. Feeling much braver from the "liquid courage", he walked forward again, dancing in front of Levi. His boyfriend didn't know he'd had to give a few lap dances at his second job. Turning his arse back towards Levi, he dropped into his lap, rocking and grinding as arched and danced  
"Eren"  
Rising from Levi's lap, he turned, this time he crawled up to straddle Levi. His hands sliding the up the man's chest  
"Eren, stop"  
Caught up in his actions, he missed the fact his sexy dance was making Levi uncomfortable. When the alpha grabbed him by the wrists, he thought it was Levi trying to pin him down to kiss him  
"Eren, that's enough. You don't need to debase yourself like this anymore"  
He had no idea what "debase" meant, but he got that Levi was mad at him. Climbing from his boyfriends lap, he didn't know what he'd done wrong...  
"Eren"  
Pulling his wrists free, he stumbled back, landing on his arse with a whimper  
"Shit, brat"  
Scrambling to pick himself up, he ran to his room. Throwing himself face down on his bed as he started to cry. He felt sexy when he danced. He wanted to dance for Levi...

"Eren?"  
"Go away"  
"Brat, let me explain"  
"No. I made you mad"  
"You didn't make me mad, just..."  
"It's fine"  
"It's not fine when you're upset"  
"I don't want to talk about it. Just go to bed, Levi"  
"Eren, I'm sorry"  
"No. It's my stupid fault for thinking you'd like my dancing!"  
Levi ignored his requests for him to go away. Sitting on the side of his bed, his boyfriend put his hand on his head  
"It wasn't that"  
"You didn't like it"  
"The way you move is beautiful. I just wasn't expecting such a skilled lap dance"  
"You hate me for the lap dance"  
"I don't hate you"  
"You got mad and you stopped me"  
"I got mad when I realised this wasn't the first time you'd done it"  
"I knew you were mad"  
"Look. I don't know a lot about lap dances or strip clubs. But I do know a lot about sleazy alphas. The idea of an another alpha touching you... you're more than that. You're more than a lap dance to me"  
"That doesn't even make sense"  
"I... got jealous"  
"Why? It's just a dance"  
"Because other people would have felt everything I just felt, while watching dance. They would have had their hands on your body. They would have felt how warm and soft you are, and thought every single filthy thing I just did"  
"But I never let them touch me"  
"I got mad at them and then I got mad at me"  
"I didn't want to give lap dances. I had to because no one fucking wanted me there. Ok. That... that was the first dance I gave because I wanted to. On the stage was fine. They could look, but they couldn't touch. When you give a lap dance, you're in the person's lap. You can smell and feel them. They never felt good... I wanted to feel it with you... but I made you mad"  
"Because I thought you were dancing like that... out of habit. I didn't think about what it actually meant to you. I didn't mean to imply I thought you were a slut"  
"Is that what "debase" means?"  
"It means to degrade. Like to lower yourself to that. You're so much better than a lap dance"  
"I like dancing and I like you"  
"I know. This one's on me"  
"I just wanted you to touch me and I wanted to make you feel good"  
"You did that. Maybe even too good"  
"What?"  
Taking his hand, Levi placed it in his crotch. His boyfriend half hard  
"You..."  
"Got hard. Another reason I didn't want you dancing when I didn't know if I'd be able to stop myself"  
"I wanted you to touch me"  
"I'll touch you all you like, when we're in bed, like this. But only when you're sober enough to be able to say no, or to tell me you need to stop"  
"What if I want you to touch me now?"  
"Can you tell me that's what you really want?"  
"Can we do that thing again?"  
"What thing?"  
"When you grind up against me?"  
His cheeks were hot. He'd started slicking while dancing, his own dick half hard like Levi's  
"I..."  
"I'm not drunk. I know what I want..."  
"Are you sure?"  
"Tipsy, not drunk"  
"Roll over for me"  
Rolling over, he stared at Levi until Levi crawled across the bed. Spreading his legs, his alpha climbed between them, leaning forward to claim his mouth. He couldn't help but kiss Levi back hungrily. Teeth knocking against Levi's as he tried to deepen the kiss further. Wrapping his legs around the back of Levi's, he ground up, mewing into the kiss as his boyfriend pushed back down against him  
"Shit, brat"  
"Levi... please. I want this"  
Moving to mouth at his neck, Eren moaned openly, his hands grabbing the blanket beneath him as he tried to get more friction against his erection  
"Levi, please... touch me more"  
"So impatient"  
"Please"  
Reaching over him, Eren had no idea what was happening, until Levi sat back up. His eyes landing on the two condoms in his hold  
"So we don't make a mess"  
Nodding, he whined as his jeans were undone and pulled down with his underwear. Levi hand gripped the base of his dick and the sound he made was pure sin  
"Feel good?"  
"So good"  
"Will you let me touch you like this?"  
Eren's breath hitched  
"No sex?"  
"No"  
"Ok..."

Freeing his own dick from his jeans, Eren groaned at the smell of the alpha's natural musk. Between his legs was wet, and he was grateful for the pad catching all the slick gushing from him. Levi didn't want to make a mess, so he didn't want to make one either. Fiddling around, Eren soon realised Levi had taken both of their dicks in his hand, jerking then off together. It was completely filthy, but felt so fucking good. Cupping his face with his free hand, the alphas thumb ran across his lips. Without thinking, he leaned up to capture the digit in his mouth, sucking on it like he had the dildo  
"Shit brat..."  
Fucking into Levi's hand, his orgasm started to build, causing him to suck harder. Letting out a growl, Levi came and Eren half a breath after. His head dizzy from the pheromones. Releasing Levi's thumb with a wet pop, he flopped back against the bed, Levi still rocking between his legs. At some point his legs had ended up wrapped around Levi's waist. Everything felt so good  
"Eren?"  
"Mmm..."  
"Are you okay?"  
"Felt good"  
Levi kept rocking for a few more moments. When the alpha finally stopped he peeled the full condoms from both their spent dicks, the amount of semen in Levi's was nearly three times the amount in his  
"Let me clean you up"  
"No... I'm good"  
"You're not falling asleep like this. You're a mess"  
"I'm sleepy... and my underwear's a mess anyway"  
Levi sighed, but covered him back up with his underwear. The alpha then climbing from his bed and taking the condoms with him. Sleepily, he reached for him  
"Where are you going?"  
"To clean up"  
"Stay?"  
"I need a shower, and you need sleep"  
He didn't want Levi to go... he wanted to cuddle and enjoy what he was feeling. But Levi left anyway, and he fell asleep with his jeans still undone, and half way down his thighs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soz not soz


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okies! This is a partial reveal chapter. I did have another person in mind for his therapist, but our goddess Krista is so nice and sweet, even when she doesn't care if everyone dies ;p  
> For creative purposes, I did age her up a little, so please don't be too mad.
> 
> This is the first real trigger warning chapter, containing abuse, non-con elements and violence. Yep, it's not too detailed as Eren's explaining his nightmares, but at the same time most of his nightmare is what he went through...

Sitting in Krista's office, Eren's voice was almost monotone as recounted his dream. It was his last therapy session before going on holiday with Levi, and probably the hardest one he'd had. They all knew he was going to break down. Levi was waiting in the reception for him, having told him that what he wanted to talk to Krista about today was going to be hard. His nightmares had really bad again, worse than they had been in a little while. He'd actually punched Levi hard enough that the alpha's nose had bled, and there was a small purple semi-circle bruise curving around his left eye from the corner of it. He'd also scratched the shit out of both his arms, in his panic and trying to escape. He could tell how shaken Levi was by it all, because his boyfriend's usually steady hands had shook as he'd cleaned and dressed his arms, while trying to soothe him with kisses to forehead and gentle nuzzles. Levi didn't blame him, he'd been nothing but sweet and understanding. Levi was why he wanted to tell Krista about his nightmares. The ones he'd had for so many years that they were now part of his identity. He knew them off by heart, they only ever varied on one key factor, and that was it was either his dad, or a tall blonde woman standing over his mother. He'd later found out that the woman was Zeke's mother. Very rarely, it would be a group of men with their faces covered by black hood things, that all the robbers wore on TV. Not that he knew what they were called.

With his eyes closed, his hands gripped his pants. His palms sweaty as he started at the start.

He was ten when his father had found out that he was an omega and that his mother had spent the last two years hiding it from him. She'd called it their special secret, and he'd loved his father deeply. The day he found out, was the first day he'd seen his father strike his mother. After that, things had rapidly gone down hill fast. His mother would take a beating meant for him, like it was the most natural thing in the world. Every night, he'd go to bed while his parents yelled at each other... all because of him. He was dirty. Disgusting. Useless. Worthless. And couldn't possibly be his father's son. The sudden change in his dad left him so confused. He didn't want to play with him anymore. He didn't even want to see him. They'd made Father's Day cards at school, and his dad had thrown it straight out.

There hadn't been anything worse than normal that night, but for some reason he'd woken up. He knew he wasn't supposed to be up, but his throat felt dry and his heart was racing. Tiptoeing from his room, he'd sat at the top of the stairs, listening to his mum yelling. He hated it when she yelled. He hated her tears and knew she'd be mad that he wasn't in bed, but he was so thirsty. Clutching his teddy close to his chest, he crept down the stairs, and into the kitchen. This is where whoever his mum was yelling at would change. Catching sight of him around the stranger or strangers, his mum would tell him to go back upstairs, but he wanted a drink of water so badly, and he didn't understand what was going on. Running over to his mother, he was stopped by a rough hand grabbing the collar of pyjamas. Thrown back, his head hit the wall and he started to cry. Rushing to his aid, the person would grab his mother's hair, dragging her back as she started to plead at him to run. Despite how much everything hurt, he crawled towards his mum but his body wouldn't listen to him. She wanted him to run. She screamed it over and over, while fighting the figure now pinning her down. He wanted to yell at them to "stop hurting mummy", but the words never came out. Instead the knife came down and buried itself in his mother's chest. Her eyes widened in surprise, still trying to tell him to run as blood poured from her mouth. Most of the time it was his dad. His face and glasses covered with blood. Sometimes the men would say "this is because of your father". Or Zeke's mum would say that his mother was a "home wrecking whore". It was his dad. He was sure that night it'd been his dad. He was sure his dad had made him watch his mum be killed. He'd gotten involved with the wrong people, and couldn't get out of what he'd done. When he finally found his voice again, he begged his mum to wake up, but her empty eyes just kept staring right at him. It was like his mum wasn't in there. Everything about her was gone and he'd watched it all. If he really thought about it, sometimes he would mum would be shot trying to reach him, but the main theme was always her death in front of him.

After that, the dream would change to a little later. His dad wasn't around, he'd beaten him senseless and left him laying in some random alley... no one listened to him, but they couldn't find him and he'd been in a couple of foster of homes. He was a problem omega that no one wanted... until he'd ended up with them. Between losing his dad and ending up in the system was a blur, and he had no idea how long had passed. He thought maybe two years, but he couldn't say. He couldn't remember the nameless faces of the families that didn't want him. But he could never forget them. He didn't want to live with them. The moment he's seen their house he'd felt sick. Like it was wrong, but they left him there anyway. Until the first visit from the social worker they'd been ok. Two bonded male alphas wanting to "make a family". They didn't really. Once that first visit was done, it changed. They lead him down to the basement. His wrists forced into plastic cuff things, and his ankle's chained. His mouth was gagged and the gag only came out when they fed him every second day, until he stopped fighting. He'd screamed until he tasted blood. But nothing changed. Once they realised he'd broken, he was allowed upstairs again. He was the entertainment. Their friends would hit him, or beat him for being an omega. He had to fetch their drinks, their smokes, their drugs. He had lay there when they got complete wasted and he pissed on, or jerked off over. They cut him if he tried to say no, or throw him back down into the basement. He didn't know if his mind was making it up, because it all blurred into one, but one day a group of the alphas friends held him down fucked him. Not actually penetrative sex, just between his legs. Telling him how dirty and wrong it was for him to be a male omega. How he was so bad and deserved this. But he couldn't be sure about that it not being penetrative. They wouldn't risk getting him pregnant, but with the way the beat his stomach, it probably wouldn't have mattered if they had. After the initial fun of all that had worn off, they left him back down in the basement. It was always so fucking cold. He only had two very thin blankets. It was then that one of them fucked up and said his dad's name. That he was the "bastard swine of Grisha Yeager"... whatever that meant. It was then that he realised that his dad was behind all of whatever this was. He'd gone crazy. He'd tried to get out his cuffs, but they'd put around his ankles when he was much smaller, now the metal cut and ripped his skin, forming the scars he still had. When he couldn't get them off, they'd laughed and taken the ones from his hands away. He couldn't escape anyway. The basement only had one very tiny, and very dirty window. There were so many times he'd thought he was going to die. Expire in his own waste. His skin itched from the filth and it all stank so badly. He'd scratch but he couldn't get the itch to go away. 

He always woke up screaming to the part when they found him like that. Naked and chain. Eating out a bowl like an animal and grossly underweight. The social worker got an anonymous call that he was being abused. They'd stopped touching him, so to feel a hand against his skin had him screaming in fear. That's when he woke up. Looking up at the blurry face he couldn't remember. A face that sometimes took on Zeke's characteristics.

He'd seen this dream so many times. The over view of what had happened before he met Zeke. His dreams kinder to him than reality had been. Krista had known he was going to vomit before he did. His eyes opening as the bin from near her chair was placed in his lap. He liked Krista. The pretty petite blonde looked barely his age, but he supposed she had to be older, given that she was a therapist. Throwing up, his tears and snot ran down his lips. He felt so fucking drained. Like he'd run through the whole fucking city as fast as he could, and then some. He was thankful that Krista had recorded it all. It was the only copy he knew of. His police records sealed or something. He just took it to mean lost. Lost like his mum and his dad and his brother. Because of him, his dad was gone, his mum was murdered after being abused by his father. The man she'd adored had caused her death with his selfishness. 

Offering him a drink of water, Eren rinsed his mouth out and spat, Krista taking the bin from his lap, allowing him to curl in on himself. It kind of felt good to say everything out loud, but he didn't want her to reply. He just wanted Levi to hold him. He must have voiced it out loud because Krista told him how brave he'd been, and how this had been a massive step, and how those things done to him weren't his fault and that he'd deserved none it. The fact that he was still here showed his courage and strength. She even thanked him for opening up to him, before she gently told him not to push himself to move. Then Levi had magically arrived by his side. Quietly she told Levi the same things about how brave he'd been, and all that stuff, without telling him what was said. If that was brave, he wondered what she'd think if she heard the non-dream version. The version he'd never tell anyone about. He couldn't. Levi was so good to him and for him. He wanted a future with Levi, and these dreams gone.

When he'd calmed down enough to walk, Levi kept him firmly at his side and lead him from the mental health office thing. Keeping him upright until they reached the car. Instead of sitting him in the front, Levi climbed into the back with him, laying his head in his lap and playing with his hair until he could finally breathe properly. This man truly treasured him, and he would do anything for him. With nowhere they had to be, it felt like hours they cuddled on the backseat. Levi not moving until he finally slowly climbed back up to sit  
"Hey, how do you feel?"  
"Like I look like shit"  
"You do, but you're still beautiful"  
"You're a liar. Fuck, that was hard"  
"Did you say what you needed?"  
"Yeah... she recorded it for me, and is going to help figure out strategies or something with it. My head hurts too much to brain"  
It felt like there was a someone stabbing at his brain with a knife or something  
"Do you feel like you're going to be sick again?"  
"I feel queasy"  
"Ok. Let's get you back home, then you can sleep with Titan"  
"Thank you... for not giving up on me"  
His voice did this weird cry thing, rising in pitch into an ugly kind of sob  
"I wouldn't give up on you. Even if you made a whole enemy of the world, I wouldn't give up on you"  
"I don't deserve you"  
"Probably not. You deserve someone who's ten times the alpha I am"  
Shaking his head, his hair fell loose, sticking to the mess on his face. Laughing lightly, Levi pushed it back up behind his ears, before kissing him softly   
"I've got you, shitty brat"  
"Thanks, old man"

 

*  
Levi was worried for his boyfriend. His therapy session had Eren so fucking broken, it was like looking at himself when he'd just lost Isabel and Farlan. Hanji had given him sedatives for Eren, for the flight down to Paradis Beach. It was only a half hour flight, but Eren had never flown before. Not that he had either, it was just an unfortunate reality that none of them knew how it would affect his anxieties. Given that she'd given him four pills, he popped one out for his omega, who was laying on the sofa with Titan in his hold. Fine tremors ran through Eren's body, and the kid had already thrown up twice for the day, that he knew of. When Levi offered him the pill with a glass of water, Eren had taken it without any prompting, or questioning of what it was. It wasn't like he liked drugging him, he just wanted to take the edge off Eren's pain so he could rest process whatever he'd talked to Krista about. He wasn't stupid. He knew it was related to Eren's nightmares. Nightmares he'd been terrified he'd triggered the other night during their mutual masturbation... where he popped a fucking knot, came like no tomorrow, worried he'd pushed Eren too far, than ran before his boyfriend realised his knot had popped. But then... They'd become even worse now that they were set to leave the day after tomorrow, and he found himself off the hook. They'd both decided Levi would spend three days home, they'd spend 7 days in Paradis Beach and then 4 days at home again, before he'd go back to work. Eren was stressing about having to say goodbye to Zeke and not finding the perfect location to do so, even though Levi had assured him they could bring Zeke back home if they didn't. The arsehole was currently sitting on their living room table, silently judging him. He was fucking lucky he hadn't ended up down the toilet. The idea of Zeke being in the small box he lived in, was bad enough. He didn't appreciate him sitting on his coffee table like he had some right to. He'd already booked a really nice hotel, slightly on the more expensive side, but given this was the first real, actual holiday they were both going on, he wanted everything to be perfect. And he didn't want to sleep in a filthy four star hotel. He'd also put money into Eren's account so he'd have spending money, replacing what Zeke had taken by first transferring it to Hanji, then having Hanji transfer it into Eren's account. That way, if Eren asked about it, she could be the one who lied and said she moved it over for safe keeping when he'd gone missing. Other than all of that, he'd shown Eren some photos of Paradis Beach, and things to do in the area, downloading a map to Eren's phone in case the brat got lost while they were there. He'd shown him almost every photo he could, except for the hotel, explaining the location of everything to their hotel, and making sure Eren repeated it all back to him so he knew he got it.

Sighing softly, Eren stretched out along the sofa with Titan laying along his chest. The two of them nose to nose, which he couldn't help but feel a prang of jealousy over. Eren was so good with animals  
"You're staring"  
"Sorry. I was just thinking you two look good together"  
"He's so cute, but he's also got fish breath. Don't you, Mr Titan?"  
Ruffling Titan's fur, the tom placed his paw on Eren's mouth. He couldn't help himself. He needed a photo of this. Eren whining at him as he stayed still for it  
"What do you want to do for the rest of today?"  
Kissing Titan's paw, he moved it from his mouth   
"I'm sorry. I feel so fucking drained. I think I need to get some sleep, or lay out in a vegetable state, like this"  
Vegetable... he couldn't help but laugh a little mentally at that one   
"Do you want to stay out here? Becoming one with the sofa?"  
"I would say I think so, but I really can't be bothered"  
"Do I get to join you?"  
"As long as you don't disturb Titan. He's nice and warm. I wish he could come with us"  
"Somehow I don't think he'd love the beach"  
"The sand would get stuck in his fur..."  
Eren was falling asleep way too fast. It was only a short flight, and if a whole pill knocked him out like this, then he'd have to try a quarter. He'd picked an early morning flight to avoid tourists and children, and as many people as possible, for Eren's sake. They'd get in at 3:30 in the morning, then go straight to the hotel, giving Eren time sleep it off, but he expected Eren would want to explore the beach as soon as possible... even in the middle of the night. He hadn't even finished his line of thought before Eren was asleep. Titan lowers his face down and burying it against Eren's cheek.

With Eren sleeping, he had no idea what to do. The apartment was clean. He'd packed for both of them, because Eren didn't know what to pack. Titan's food was organised. Their meals were all organised. They still had the rest of the day and the following to fill in... but he didn't know what to do without Eren. He couldn't even remember how he'd used to spend his time without him. Settling down to read his book, his heart wasn't in it. The words on the pages barely registering as he skimmed it.

Eren decided he was going to sleep all fucking day. They'd gotten home from the appointment around 2:30/3pm. Eren falling asleep before 3:30pm... and he was still sleeping just as soundly when Levi finally gave up on him waking up any time soon, around 9pm. He didn't stir as he lifted him, carrying him to their bed and laying him out. Stripping Eren down to his shirt and underwear, his lips turning down at Eren's wrapped arms. His boyfriend had short nails, but the damage done was going to scar, like between his legs had. He could stay there with someone bleeding to death and keep his cool, but Eren. Every time something happened Eren, he felt like he aged a fucking decade. Trimming his hair for their holiday, the alpha had found grey hairs. If dating a vibrant, active, gorgeous 20 year old didn't make him feel old enough, the grey hairs fucking did. Levi was sure each hair was Eren's fault. Not that he'd admit it. Eren wouldn't take it as a joke, or he'd sprout some super mussy, shitty compliment that made him feel stupidly happy, because Eren always meant every single word of it.

 

*  
Eren slept for a full 24 hours. Waking up, he couldn't remember climbing into Levi's bed, or cuddling up with Titan, but he felt amazing. He felt recharged. The throbbing in head was gone. His chest didn't feel tight. He couldn't remember his dreams, if he'd even dreamed to begin with. The omega honestly couldn't remember the last time he'd woken to feel so refreshed and relaxed... or when he'd ever needed to pee this badly.

Taking care of things in the bathroom, he walked into the living room wearing a fresh shirt and underwear. His goal was his boyfriend, and he was more than happy to drop down into his lap, wrapping his arms around Levi and kissing him softly   
"Hello, to you too"  
Stealing another kiss, he took Levi's hand in his, threading their finger together   
"Hello... mmm. Have I told you lately how beautiful you are?"  
Levi snorted, his boyfriend shaking his head  
"Not in the last 24 hours. You've been sleeping"  
"Wow. No wonder I feel so refresh and hungry... are you sure it's been that long?"  
"Yep. I gave you a sedative yesterday, and it knocked you right out"  
"A sedative?"  
"To help calm you down from your therapy session. I didn't know you'd sleep all day because of it"  
"Yeah. Yesterday was intense. And I'm not mad. I slept so fucking good. I can't remember my dreams, so that means they had to be good, right?"  
"Maybe. You seemed pretty peaceful"  
"I feel like I laid down and didn't move for a whole day"  
"That's because you did. We need to get you up and fed"  
Eren's stomach rumbled, both he and Levi looked to his belly  
"I think it wants to be fed"

12 hours was plenty of time to work himself back up. His stomach was doing flips at the idea of flying. He'd never thought his feet would leave the ground. Not like this. Levi gave him a quarter of a sedative tablet to help, but it didn't stop his mind from racing. What if he and Levi fought? He couldn't get back to Shinganshima or the apartment on his own. What if the plane crashed and he died a horrible death? He was sure he was completely in love with Levi. Would he die before he was ready to tell him? Because he was definitely not ready to say it. There was a difference between saying something, and just feeling it. Besides, he and Levi hadn't been dating all that long. He didn't want to burden Levi with his feelings. Especially if the alpha didn't feel the same way. Levi was so incredibly precious and important to him. He radiated the kind of strength Eren wanted for himself. And his boyfriend the most caring person he knew. The kind of person who'd always go above and beyond for those he cared for, even if it didn't always seem all that obvious to them. When he started freaking over flying, Levi sat him down on the sofa and retrieved Titan, before making a show of carefully packing Zeke into the suitcase they were sharing. His brother tucked in the inside pocket, right near his medication and moisturiser. Other than the suitcase, they were taking his backpack, but that had books and their chargers, both their wallets, tickets and things Levi said were essential like hand sanitiser. The small things they needed, and the things that would be too hard to get out the suitcase once they got to the airport.

Leaving early, Eren wanted to curl up in the passenger seat, but didn't want to get shoe marks on Levi's clean seats. He had no idea how the alpha kept his car so clean, not when he'd never seen him clean it. The omega wanted to say something to break the silence between them? But had no idea what to say and wasn't game to open his mouth. His chest had grown tight again, his hands sweaty, while the rest of him felt heavy. He didn't know if he could do this. In the air, he was trapped. Completely trapped. He couldn't just get off the plane. His scent soured, even with Levi's scent canceller.

"Eren, talk to me"  
A squeak came out. Something more than he'd expected  
"Do you need me to stop?"  
"No"  
"Then talk to me. Is it the flight? Are you worried about that?"  
"How far until the airport?"  
"Not far now. You know how the aquarium was just out of town? The airport is about the same distance from home. Once we get there, we just need to check in, then we'll wait until the flight is called. You've got the window seat, and I'll be right next to you. It's half an hour, and when we arrive at Paradis, we just need to pick the rental car up. I've already got the route in my phone. I've looked it up, so we won't get lost"  
"Sorry... I know it'll be ok"  
"You're just nervous?"  
Fucking understatement right there  
"Yeah"  
"I'll be there"  
"I know... I never thought I'd be on a plane"  
"Thousands and thousands of people fly all around the world every day"  
"I don't think that makes me feel any better"  
"Nothing's going to go wrong"  
"How long until we get there?"  
Levi snorted, reaching over to give his leg a comforting squeeze  
"Not long"

Levi's "not long" took forever. His boyfriend parking in what seemed like the middle of nowhere, grumbling about the trees and the fact "shitty birds were going to shit all over his car". He didn't want Levi's car ruined, but he was happy they weren't being dropped off by one of Levi's friends. If something went horribly wrong, they could come back at any time and no one would know. They didn't have to explain it to anyone, or see pity on their faces because he was a nut job. Giving him a quick kiss, Levi climbed from the car... leaving him to follow with no enthusiasm at all.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at me gooooooo!  
> I've already done the next chapter, but those in tumblr land know that   
> ❤️❤️

The flight to Paradis Beach was not without its dramas. A group of drunken alphas were refused entry on board the plane, causing a huge scene in the middle of Shinganshima airport. Then, one of them recognised Eren from his days as a stripper and started yelling out for a free dance and show, before beginning to abuse Levi for his height. It wasn't his fault he was short. Nor was it his fault that Eren was way taller than him. By the time they finally got on the plane, the flight was running a full hour behind schedule and Eren was a shaking mess. The effort the omega was going to, to keep it together, was evident to everyone around them, making them whisper and stare as they took their seats. Levi didn't understand why they couldn't have just kept their mouths shut, or why they'd gotten so fucking drunk and then thought they'd be allowed on the flight. He'd wanted to put each alpha in their place, but if he'd started swinging he wouldn't have been allowed on the plane either. His hard work would have been for nothing and his boyfriend would have been devastated.

During the flight, Eren had kept a death grip on his hand. The omega's left leg bouncing with nerves, and grating on his. His eyes were glued out the window, and when they finally took off, Eren nearly lost his dinner over it. His free hand remained over his mouth for the rest of the flight, thankfully keeping it down until they reached Paradis Beach airport, where he ran to the nearest bathroom and hurled his guts up. A quarter of a sedative was too little, so he'd have to remember to try half a pill on the way back. From the bathroom they returned and collected their suitcase, before picking up the keys to the rental car. It was tiny compared to his Range Rover, a small compact sedan that smelt like recycled air and dampness. Not exactly what he'd hoped for, and whoever they employed to detail their cars was absolutely useless. Still. He had to keep it together until they reached Rose Maria Hotel.

Rose Maria Hotel had once been the Port Authority building back in the tail end of the 1800's. Keeping its aged facade, it made for nice picture with its neat tropical gardens, and sprawling lawns. There'd been additions over the years, but the brick work had been rendered with the same white and terracotta trim as the original building, giving a near seamless feel. If it wasn't for the change in window styles, it really would have been perfect. Parking in the side car park, he let Eren settle for a moment while he grabbed their suitcase and the omega's back pack. He didn't know if Eren even realised they were or not. Rounding the sedan to the passenger side, he opened the door as shook Eren's shoulder  
"Eren, we're here"  
"I... we are?"  
"Yep. Come on, we need to check in"  
Climbing out the car, Eren perked up at the sight of the palm trees and ferns  
"Wow... we're staying here?"  
"Yeah. It's not far from the beach, or anything really"  
"It's gorgeous"  
"We can admire the view after we've both slept"  
"Is it ok to take photos?"  
"I don't see why not"  
There wasn't much to take photos of. The sun was barely risen, things more grey than the bright lush green they'd be once morning came properly. Letting Eren fool around with his phone, his boyfriend took his hand when he was finally satisfied with whatever he'd been trying to do.

The foyer of the hotel was every bit as opulent as the photos online looked. Two huge grand staircases lead up to the second story, made from what seemed to be a red wood. The colour contrasting in comparison to the blues, greens, whites and golds of the mosaic floor. All the soft furnishings had an Art Deco them, while crowning jewel of the space was the sparkling chandelier above their heads. It was classy, without being tacky. Located between the two staircases was the reception desk. A vintage telephone sitting on the far left end of it. Eren probably had no idea what it was, or how to use the circular dial  
"Levi! Look at this place! This must have cost a fortune!"  
"Nothing I couldn't afford"  
After all, it wasn't just any other occasion when you got dump your boyfriend's dead abusive brother's ashes in the ocean, where you'd never have to see them again. These things needed celebrating... er, to be done properly and respectfully and all that shit. Whatever. Zeke was dead, and after this he wasn't going to be in Eren's wardrobe or on his coffee table anymore, and that was the main thing. Other than Eren's mental health, and the omega having a chance to say goodbye and all that shit  
"It's beautiful. Do you think this all real wood? Trees these days never have a chance to grow like this, because people cut them down too soon, but wow. I think this desk top is from one huge tree"  
He had no idea when Eren got so knowledgeable on trees, but it made him proud. Leaning against the bench, the two people behind the counter looked just as tried as he felt. The man ignoring them as the young woman rose and smiled brightly, asking if they had a reservation. Sighing all the papers, she took copies of their ID's, and he paid the $100 key and room bond, which would be returned upon departure. Their room was 104, on the second floor. She pointed out the elevators, as she placed a heap of different pamphlets on the counter with his copy of their paperwork. The elevator also had the Art Deco theme, but the stairs were quicker. Taking Eren's hand, he lead his boyfriend upstairs and along the hall to their room. When booking he'd been careful to mention Eren suffered from PTSD, depression and panic attacks, just in case he started screaming or sleep walked again. He'd rather people didn't call the police over something his boyfriend couldn't control, and if something did happen, he wanted someone to be able to help Eren rather than make things worse. He knew the whole staff wouldn't care, and the reception probably didn't care either. As much as he hoped they would. It was more for legal backing if things went to absolute shit, he could show proof that the hotel was made aware of Eren's condition.

Letting Eren open the door, the omega let out a gasp. The room was styled white, with pops of colour from the art on the wall. Their bed was a four poster with white drapes, the wood a warm colour making it feel so much bigger and instantly calming. The prints of the wall continued the tropical theme, with their cheese plant leaves, and birds of paradise  
"Levi!"  
Squealing, Eren rushed forward, opened the French doors to the balcony, with a clear view out to the ocean. Closing and locking the door behind them, Levi wheeled their suitcase of up the small lounge area, dumping it and Eren's backpack there, before heading out to join Eren on the balcony  
"How's the view?"  
Spinning round, he could an armful of Eren as he launched himself on him. As his boyfriend started sobbing, he wondered if he'd done something wrong  
"Brat?"  
"It's perfect. Everything is perfect!"  
"Then why are you crying?"  
"Because I'm so fucking happy!"  
Sobbing the words out against his shoulder, Eren was completely adorable. Levi laughed affectionately  
"I thought you would be"  
"This place... it's too much! You didn't have to go to all this effort!"  
"If we're going on holiday, we are doing this right"  
"I don't deserve this! You're just here with me!"  
"It's because I'm here with you that I wanted things to be perfect"  
Nuzzling into his neck, Eren peppered kisses to the spot  
"Do you want to take a look at the rest of the room?"  
Nodding, his omega didn't seem to want to let him go. With his legs around Levi's waist from where he'd literally caught him, Levi carried him back through their room and into the bathroom. The bathtub inside was large enough that could bath together properly if they wanted, while the twin showers meant they could also shower together if they wanted. The might not be up to that in their relationship, but he'd known Eren would love it   
"Two showers!"  
Yep. He was right  
"And a big bath"  
"That's like... bigger than my room at Zeke's... Levi! How did you do this?!"  
"I didn't design the hotel"  
"Noooo. I mean. If I planned this, I couldn't have found somewhere this perfect for us. They have pebbles in the walls!"  
The pebbles were along the splash back of the counter area, and down the wall of the right shower. Again they'd followed through the tropical feel with the whites, the natural timbers and the green towels  
"So... we have all day, what do you want to do?"  
"We do have a huge bed"  
Levi swallowed hard. Eren's words went right to his dick, even if it wasn't what the omega meant   
"I want to sleep, then I want to go explore. I want to explore but it's too early for anything to be open"  
"To be it is"  
"Mhmm. And I think you deserve a treat"

Eren's treat was some seriously heavy making out. Groping and rutting up against each other through their clothes, he sucked possessive hickeys to Eren's neck. He didn't want anyone thinking Eren was up for grabs, and without a bonding mark, this was the best he could hope for. By the end of it, his boyfriend looked thoroughly fucked and drunk on their pheromones. His bright green eyes were black with lust, while he kept the middle of his bottom lip trapped beneath his two front teeth. Levi wanted to tear his clothes off and wreck that tight wet arse of Eren's, and from Eren's scent, he wanted the exact same thing. Backing off to let things cool back down, his boyfriend's hand slid down his chest and to his jeans   
"Brat, what are you doing?"  
"They're too tight"  
"I don't think that's a good idea"  
"It hurts"  
So he wasn't trying to be sexy, he was just so aroused it hurt... shit. Now he wanted to blow him...  
"Strip your jeans off"  
"I'm trying"  
Rolling his eyes, he slapped Eren's hands away, undoing the straining button and fly   
"Better?"  
"Mmmm... still hurts"  
"Wait here"

He'd packed condoms on the off chance Eren had wanted to touch. He just didn't think it would be the first day. Especially not after the flight over, but that all seemed to be forgotten the moment Eren had seen their room. It thrilled his alpha and boosted both their egos to know they'd made their omega so happy. Unzipping the front pocket of the suitcase, he pulled out the box of condoms and returned to the bed. Eren's eyes widening as he caught sight of them  
"Levi..."  
"Don't worry. I just want to make you feel good"  
"No sex?"  
"Nope. I have something else in mind, if you'll let me"  
"I trust you"  
"Good. You have no idea how beautiful you look like this"  
"I don't think I look beautiful"  
"You do. Especially when you get so happy. You wanted to make me feel good, but I want to make you feel even better"  
Pulling a condom from the box, he tore the wrapper with his teeth as he locked eyes with Eren. The omega letting out a pleasant groan at the sight   
"I haven't done anything yet"  
"You should be in a condom add. Everyone would use condoms if they saw you"  
He knew Eren meant because he thought he was sexy, but he couldn't help but laugh over it  
"What?"  
"It's fine. Just let me continue"  
"I said something wrong, didn't I?"  
"No, you said it perfectly"  
Hanji would piss herself laughing if she'd heard what Eren said... gross. Why was he thinking about Hanji when was in bed with Eren... and gay. Eww. Forcing her from his mind, he pulled down Eren's boxer briefs, eyeing the omega's erection   
"Levi?"  
"It's ok. Trust me, ok? You just need to say no it's too much"  
"I know"  
Nodding in acknowledgment, Levi unrolled the condom down the Eren's shaft, the omega arching upwards with a moan  
"So good for me. Now, I'm going to blow you"  
"Whaaa-t?"

Burying himself between Eren's legs, his boyfriend gripped his hair, pulling in a way that spurred him on. Eren hadn't been sure at first, so Levi had taken it slow until the omega began trying to fuck his mouth. Holding his hips down, he bobbed his head, cheeks hollowed and his eyes on Eren's face. If he worked the tip, Eren mewed much more loudly than when took his whole shaft in his mouth. He'd never thought about giving head without a condom on, but if he was going to, it'd be with Eren. The omega's follow up STI test had come back clean, the syphillis taken care of by the antibiotics. However, now wasn't the time for that. Loosening his hold on Eren's hips, Eren clumsily and eagerly rocked his hips, using Levi's mouth to bring himself to orgasm with a moan of Levi's name. Waiting until his dick began to soften, Levi pulled off with a soft sigh. That was fucking hot. He hated Marco and Jean for sending Eren into heat, but the heat seemed to have been the best thing ever for Eren's sexual confidence. It thrilled him that Eren was more comfortable in his own body, and that he was actually starting to accept that pleasure was a natural part of a relationship, sexual pleasure included, but not necessary all the time  
"Fuck... where the fuck did you learn how to do that?"  
Slipping the condom off, he tied the end and tucked Eren back into his underwear, waiting until the condom was back in the bin and he was laying facing Eren before answering   
"So you liked it?"  
"At first, I felt like I needed to run, or push you off... then it started feeling good... and you looked so sexy"  
"If you wanted to stop..."  
"No! I, uh, um, mean... no. Maybe if we did this all the time, it wouldn't feel so special each time we touched... I like, the idea of liking it and I do like it... I guess that I'm saying because it's you, and you never force me and you always make sure I'm ok during it and it's not all the time it's ok... to work on the touching thing"  
"You're sure?"  
Eren smiled and nodded, wrapping his arm around his waist as he slung his leg over Levi's hip  
"With you. I like it. I want to be able to have sex with you, when I'm not in heat. I want to be able to say "I'm having sex with my boyfriend", without relying on my heat or alcohol or medication or anything"  
"You might want to work on that wording"  
"Sorry. I just mean. When we had sex, it felt good and I don't regret losing my virginity to you. I never liked touching until you came along. Zeke would kiss me on the lips or pat my hair and make me sit in your lap, but you let me choose for me what I want. That night I wanted you so fucking badly. I still want you. It's probably weird that we had sex and now we have to work back up to it again"  
No. Because Levi had known from the start Eren had been abused by his brother. Not everything he did made sound and logical sense. There was also that two month gap where anything could have happened. He'd regressed so far when he finally returned to their lives and Zeke's stupid "training" hadn't helped. So no  
"No. It's not weird. You're the best thing that ever happened to me"  
"I don't know I'm all that good"  
"So you think I go around blowing random omegas for fun"  
Eren shook his head   
"No. You respect people too much for that"  
"I respect you. We should get some sleep"  
"You don't... want me to touch you back?"  
"Eren, we don't have to rush any of this. Today has been long and it's barely started. I appreciate that you want to, but we'll work up to it, ok?"  
"O-Ok"  
Eren's face fell  
"Hey. No. Don't give me that look. For now, I just want to lay here with you. Like you said, if we do too much, we could start a panic attack or you could go into heat. We have time, don't forget that"  
"You're right... I... I was a little scared"  
"I know. When you're ready, you'll tell. Like you always do, and I'm ok with that"  
"Thank you"  
"For blowing you?"  
"For blowing me. For doing all this for me. For being here with me. For taking me in. For giving me the kind of life I always wanted, but was too scared to dream for. But most of all, thank you for existing"  
The last one hit him hard. He'd never been thanked for existing before, not before Eren had come along. Pulling him as close as he could, he nuzzled into him. A rush of emotions swirling through him. He was so fucking lucky to have Eren. Someone who saw all the sides to his personality and still wanted him. For the first time in his life, he felt truly accepted, and Eren had done it so easily. The omega had been through hell. He should be broken. He should hate alphas, but his omega had the courage to let him and trust him. To let him be himself. Unexpected tears formed in his eyes  
"Levi? Are you ok?"  
"Thank you, Eren"  
"My silly alpha"  
Kissing his hair, Eren then yawned softly  
"Goodnight, Levi"  
"Goodnight, Eren"

Eren fell asleep quickly, while Levi couldn't. Staying in Eren's arms until his emotions had settled and his tears had dried, he was careful not to wake his boyfriend as he slipped from the bed, and pulled back the covers on the other side. Taking Eren's socks and shoes off for him, he moved his boyfriend under the blankets, Eren giving him a dopey smile as he stirred briefly and mumbled his name, before snuggling into the plush white pillow. Covering him over, he kissed Eren's forehead, before heading out onto the balcony. This place had been much nicer than he'd expected, but then again, he was paying nearly $300 a night. They had cheaper rooms, yet he'd wanted the ocean view because he knew how happy it would make Eren. 

Standing on the balcony, Levi took a deep breath. Gulls were already cawing and swooping in the morning light, while small birds twittered and danced between the hotel trees. Isabel would have loved it. She'd always loved the way that birds could just fly wherever they wanted, almost envious of that kind of freedom. That's why she'd pursued her studies, making her focus on seabirds. Though she loved all birds, birds didn't always love her back. She'd gone through four budgies in their first year at college, always giving them ridiculous names like "Air Crash Investigations". But her face... fuck. The way her face would light up when she started off on a tangent about birds... with his eyes closed, he could almost fucking see it. She and Eren were so much alike in so many ways, and he'd loved her like a little sister. Both her and Farlan. The three of them had been family. Maybe if things had gone differently, the four of them would be on this holiday together? Eren begging Isabel to teach him everything, the pair of them completely lost in conversation. It wasn't often he let himself think of what could have been. When they'd died, that was all he could think about. Every single "what if" went through his fucking head. There hasn't been enough drugs, alcohol or cigarettes in the world to take the "what ifs" away. Besides, if he hadn't lost everything, he wouldn't have become a paramedic. He probably wouldn't have been babysitting Hanji's hen's party. Then he wouldn't have met Eren, and that... that fucking scared him. He was well aware he was over his head. Half the time he didn't know if he enough for the omega. He was short, ill-tempered and quick to mentally jump to the worst. He'd been told a number of times that his personality didn't match his face. Or that his sexuality was wrong. But it was going through all that shit had lead to Eren, and even if things weren't perfect all the time, he wanted Eren to stay by his side until he died first, because he couldn't picture a day without Eren in the world. All these feelings scared the fuck out of him. He'd loved Isabel and Farlan. He'd loved his mum. He'd tolerated his crazy uncle who was definitely not a great parental model, but had raised him the best he could. He'd loved these people and they were all gone. So when Eren got scared over losing everyone he loved, he understood. He loved Eren, but a darkness would settle in his stomach at the thought. A small voice telling him he'd loose him, so it was better to show him than it was to tell him. Which was true. He was shit at words, but actions, he could do actions. Opening his eyes, he ran his fingers through his hair. For the first time in a long time, he craved a cigarette. Just the one. Probably because Isabel was a smoker. Somehow one cigarette on the lonely balcony, while he watched the sun rising over the water and the birds swooping seemed almost poetic. Fuck. He'd really mellowed out in his old age. He needed a fucking shower first, then sleep. Cigarettes and daydreams could wait until Eren was awake.

 

*  
When Levi woke, Eren wasn't there. His eyes first went to the balcony doors, relived to find them closed, before he scrambled up, eyes finding their room door locked and chained like he'd left it. With no where else to go, he strode into the bathroom. Eren was sitting in the bathtub, the room filled with his sour scent. Not pausing, he walked over to the tub and sank down on the edge   
"Eren?"  
Guilty green eyes looked up at him. His boyfriends eyes weren't filled with the tears he'd expected, but that was because he'd missed them. The slight traces reflecting slightly as Eren looked back down  
"You ok?"  
"Y-yeah"  
"Wanna tell me why you're sitting in an empty bath?"  
"I woke up feeling disoriented, and kind of stumbled in here"  
At least he hadn't stumbled outside   
"I couldn't remember where we were or why we were here"  
Oh... barely keeping his balance, he leaned over and kissed Eren's hair   
"It's ok. You know you can wake me, don't you?"  
"You smelt so sad about something, that I didn't want to wake you in case it made it worse"  
"I was a little sad, but at the past. My past, not yours. It's ok though. Because seeing you're ok, makes it all ok"  
Eren huffed at him  
"I don't like it when you're sad. I don't know what to say or do"  
"You don't have to say or do anything. Just keep being you. Can you get up out the bath? You need a shower and then we both could use some food"  
"Yeah... my butts numb. I think I've been in here a while"  
"It couldn't have been too long, or I would have woken sooner"  
"That's true. You're good at waking up when I move about"  
Not always. If he had been, Eren's arms wouldn't have been torn to shreds  
"Do you want me to undo the bandages, and do them back up after? You can't cover the wounds with concealer, not while they're still healing, but I think there's a few light long shirts"  
"Shirt please... I don't like the bandages very much... and"  
Eren's voice dropped to a whisper  
"I don't want people stare"  
"Ok"  
Kissing Eren's hair again, he stood and helped the omega stand. His boyfriend had don't well not freaking out completely.

 

*  
With Eren dressed in a blue long sleeve shirt and another pair of black jeans, and sneakers, and his own nearly matching ensemble, Levi was pretty certain they didn't look headed to the beach. While the hotel had its own restaurant, they'd decided to take a look around the small strip of stores across from the main fisherman's jetty. With his left hand in Levi's right, Eren was taking photos of everything, while also trying to take bad selfies of the pair of them walking. The omega's eyes so wide and captivating, that Levi felt lost each time he caught a glimpse. When Eren's stumbled for the tenth time in a matter of metres, Levi pulled him to a stop  
"Eren, you're going to fall if you don't start paying attention to your footing. I know you're excited and want photos"  
"I want to remember everything and everywhere we go"  
"Then stop taking photos for now. Most of them probably haven't worked out, as it is. There's a cafe just over there. We'll have lunch, then you take your selfies"  
"I just don't want to forget being here with you"  
"And you won't, but wouldn't you rather photo's that worked out, and aren't all blurry"  
Eren sighed  
"You're probably right. I'm sorry"  
"You don't need to be sorry. You're happy and excited... it's... cute"  
He cringed at the word, Eren snorting at the expression   
"Ok. Now I know you definitely need food. Come on old man, we'll get you some food and a nice hot cup of tea"  
Faking a mumble, Levi rolled his eyes and let himself be pulled along by Eren towards the cafe.

Levi ordered a burger with a side of home made fries, expecting Eren to steal them. Instead his boyfriend ordered a simple salad and a juice. Happily munching away on his lettuce as his gaze kept drifting beyond the low brick wall of the cafes alfresco area  
"We can go down to the beach after this"  
"I forgot to bring sunscreen"  
"Then we'll pick some up. It's not a big deal"  
"It is. Your skins paler than mine, so you need to look after it. Even sitting out here, you're starting to burn"  
The redness in his face wasn't from sunburn, but from the game of footsies he'd started while waiting for their food  
"Right. It's fine. We'll find a pharmacy after this"  
Sunburn. He could roll with that. He was a goddamn alpha and alphas didn't blush! And since when did he "roll" with things.  
"Ok. It's really pretty here"  
"I'm surprised I haven't had to pull you out the ocean yet"  
"It's definitely tempting. And I'm sure I could beat you down there, but sunscreen first. I don't want to get burnt and then not be able to enjoy this place"  
"You do know people go on vacation to forget all about being responsible"  
"I've gotta find the perfect place for Zeke..."  
Right. He should have fucking known. A blow job and a nap wasn't going to make Eren forget his brother. The smile that played on his lips now turned fake, and he wasn't that hungry anymore   
"Alright. Now we've got a plan. Sunscreen, beach, and Zeke"  
"Yeah..."

Leaving his meal half eaten, Levi waited as Eren took a few moments. His hand over his mouth as he apologised for eating too much. The kid had barely eaten more than he had. When his boyfriend finally joined him, his hand was still over his mouth. Wandering along the strip of shops, Eren slowly pulled his hand from his face, but seemed off with the fairies. He wasn't taking photos, nor did he want to stop at the brightly decorated home decor shop. Though it has plenty of shiny and sparkling things inside. The kind of things Eren liked to look at. The fact Eren didn't want to look at the shinies worried him  
"Eren?"  
"Hmm?"  
"You ok?"  
"Just looking for a pharmacy"  
"We can look at other shops as well, you know that right?"  
"Huh... yeah. Sorry. I'm thinking about Zeke"  
He couldn't tell him not to think about his brother was impossible  
"Do you want to tell me about it?"  
"I was just... Zeke told me he was going to take me away from Shinganshima... I know we wouldn't have come here, so I was wondering what he'd think about it all"  
"It's fine to wonder, but don't forget that I'm here. Ok. I'm with you"  
"I didn't mean to make it seem like I didn't think like that. I just... I'm happy to be here with you"  
The "I just..." didn't sit well with him. He wanted to call Eren out on it, but didn't want him clamming up further  
"Levi, you're frowning"  
"It's nothing. If there's a shop you want to look in, we can go in"  
"Ok..."

Despite saying that, Eren didn't pull him into any of them. Not until they reached the pharmacy, where he also insisted on getting sunglasses for the pair of them. Forcing him to try on a set of mirrored aviators, Eren howled with laughter. They really didn't suit him, yet some how they ended up buying them and he was forced to wear them. Eren choosing for himself a large pair of black round glasses with silver flowers around the edges and on the bands. They definitely suited his boyfriend more than his aviators suited him. Dragged off to the side, Eren went about getting the sunscreen back out, squeezing out a large dollop, before dipping his finger in and bopping the tip of Levi's nose  
"Really, brat?"  
"Yep. Now hold still"  
Covering his face and neck with sunscreen like he was a child  
"Done. Now, do mine"  
He did as asked, Eren leaning down so he could. Instead of bopping Eren's nose, he kissed the tip, the omega letting out a small giggle as he did. Again he couldn't understand how Eren could be so distant one moment, and laughing the next...

Sunscreened up, they hit the beach. Eren kicking off his sneakers and running around in his sock. Picking up the abandoned shoes, Levi cursing the sand getting into his own sneakers. The sand would stick to his socks and the lining of his shoes. He liked his shoes. Watching Eren run to the waters edge, he winced as Eren stepped into the water in socks. Now they'd need to be washed. Eren's jeans too... no. He needed to get out of his own head. Photos. He should be getting photos of Eren.

Splashing in the edge of the water, Eren's where wide. Levi having walked up to stand on the still dry bit of the sand, free from the swash   
"Levi! It's soooo cold!"  
Splashing water towards him, Eren clearly wanted to go swimming. Something they were definitely not doing in jeans and long sleeves  
"Brat, we need to get changed if you want to go swimming"  
"But the water is right here!"  
"And you can go in it, once you're in something more appropriate"   
Squatting down, Eren picked something up before running up to him, a brown and purple cowry shell in his hand  
"Levi! What's this!? It's so pretty!"  
It was thanks to Isabel that he knew the name. She'd never actually made it the ocean, despite her interest in birds  
"It's called a cowry shell"  
"It so pretty. Can I keep it?"  
It was actually illegal to take shells from the beach, not that anyone really seemed to care about it, and it was just the one shell  
"Just the one. If everyone came to the beach and took the shells, there'd be none left for any others"  
"So it's ok?"  
"Yeah, like I said, just the one"  
"Ok. Thank you. It's so pretty... how do you know it's a cower shell?"  
"Cowry. I'll tell you about sometime soon"  
"Ok. But if you don't want to, it's ok. I won't be mad"  
"I do want to"  
"You keep telling me that I don't have to push myself, and you look really sad right now"  
"I'm just thinking my friend would have loved it here"  
"Ohhh..."  
Wrapping his arm around Eren's waist, he gave him a quick kiss on the cheek  
"Lets go get to the hotel, and get changed? We need to grab a couple of towels too"  
"Ok! I want to take a photo of my shell too. This place is so pretty"  
"I think you've said that once or twice"  
"Ah, but I've got something you haven't heard"  
"Do I want to?"  
"Yep! Ready?"  
"Go on"  
"Are you sunburnt? Or are you always this hot?"  
"Smooth"  
"I thought so"  
"I've got one for you"  
"Oooh, this should be good"  
"Is your name Summer? Because damn, you're hot"  
"Oh my god! That's terrible"  
"Someone call a lifeguard. I'm drowning in your eyes"  
Eren groaned  
"That's enough old man"  
"Can you hear the waves? They want me to take you out for a drink"  
Eren bumped him with his hip  
"You're awful. I don't know any more beach ones"  
"Don't worry, I'll keep shelling them out"  
Looking at the shell in his hand, Eren sighed   
"You're jokes are terrible"  
"You started it"  
"I yield. Please. I yield"  
"You yield? You know what that means right?"  
"Only because it's one of the words you taught me"  
"And you remember?"  
"I remember everything when it comes to you"  
His heart skipped a beat, nuzzling into Eren's arm, he breathed his boyfriend's scent in deeply  
"I didn't..."  
"No. It's ok. Thank you"  
Was it possible to be this happy? On a beach, with all its shitty sand and screaming kids? Because right now, he was so very, stupidly happy.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A chapter in which our alpha opens up to Eren...

Trying to find the right place for Zeke was harder than he'd thought it would be. Everywhere so pretty. Everything was so perfect. And a normal person might have found a place by now, but he hadn't. After spending their first afternoon in Paradis splashing in the ocean, and discovering Levi took no mercy when he was splashed, they'd had a very nice and fancy dinner another cafe thing. It wasn't like the restaurants in Shinganshima, it was mostly an open air bar with view over the ocean, but it didn't feel like a bar or a restaurant or even a cafe, so it was a cafe thing. They'd sat a small table tucked in the corner of the balcony area. Levi looked more relaxed than he could ever remember seeing him, as they shared fish and chips and drank a fruity white wine, the he liked much more than red. Ok. So normal people might have thought it was also just a date, and not fancy or whatever, but it was fancy for him. Any place that gives you a knife and fork for fish and chips, was fancy. Everything about that night had been perfect, down to taking a bath while Levi read to him from the book he'd brought along. His boyfriend looked so good as he sat back, holding his book in one hand, and another glass of wine in the other. The next day they'd explored around the coastline, before spending the evening curled up together, talking about places he liked and where he thought they should scatter Zeke's ashes. He liked the rock pools they'd found, but they weren't suitable for scattered Zeke's ashes near. He'd thought everything was ok. That Levi was happy, and things were ok between them.

It was just... the following afternoon that was slightly awkward. Levi had left him sleeping in the morning, coming back around lunch time and refused to tell him where he'd been. He'd said he'd gone for a walk, but when he pushed, his boyfriend had snapped. Levi very rarely snapped. The alpha sighed heavily, carding a hand through his hair. He apologised, gave him a kiss and then they'd gone back down to the beach for the afternoon to explore along the shore line and splash a little. He'd thought things must have blown over. Levi was holding his hand, but walking on the bit where the waves disappeared against the sand, while Eren had the water around his ankles. Wanting to lighten things back up, he'd stupidly splashed Levi a bit too hard, or with too much water... he didn't know what to call it. Levi had gotten mad when he'd splashed him, pushing him back and in surprise he'd fallen backwards into the water. Coming up, he felt like he swallowed half the ocean. Tears streamed from his eyes as he coughed and splattered. Levi knew he couldn't swim. That's why they stayed in the shallows, but ending up in the water had scared the shit out of him. Sitting in the water, couldn't stop shaking. Levi standing there and staring down at him. He knew it was a joke. That Levi wasn't really, really mad at him  
"Eren?"  
He flinched at the way Levi said his name. It was soft, and confused him more  
"Hey... are you ok?"  
"No..."  
"I didn't mean for you to end up drenched"  
When Levi reached out, he pulled back. Immediately disgusted at himself for doing so. Levi wouldn't hurt him. But Zeke didn't hurt him... he didn't hit him until he'd come back to him. Unable to stop the tears, or even find the words to reply, he took off running. Leaving Levi standing there as he ran towards the hotel. The faster he ran, the more embarrassed he felt. He couldn't just stop and go back to Levi. He didn't know what to say to him. This was all his fault for being so stupid. 

Reaching their room, Levi arrived a few moments after him. The alpha didn't look mad, but he could barely look Levi in the face. When his boyfriend went to place his hand on his arm, Eren whimpered. He could see the sound hurt Levi. His boyfriend's eyes widened, before he pushed a smile to his lips  
"It's ok. I'm not going to hurt you. Just let me get the key"  
Unlocking the door for him, Eren fled into the bathroom. He wanted to go back and talk to Levi, but it was no good when he freaking out so badly. Stripping off his wet clothes, he laid them over the side of the bathtub. He needed to calm down. Shower. He could take a shower and calm down. It was a perfectly plausible reason. Not for running from the beach like a crazy person, but for not coming out.

Huddled on the floor of the bathroom, he couldn't calm down. The water above him was on the cool side of warm, which had been a mistake on his behalf. The taps seemed too far away from him, and now he was too cold to move. He wanted Levi to come get him, but didn't want to upset his boyfriend anymore than he had. Not when he hadn't thought about his feelings. 

"Eren, I'm coming in"  
He was so fucking cold that it was making him feel sick. He'd vomited up some gross stuff that he was pretty sure was seawater, and now he just wanted to go home  
"Oi. Shit, brat..."  
The cold water falling on him finally turned off. Levi swearing again as he grabbed one of the hotels fluffy towels. Wrapping him up, Levi lifted him off the bathroom floor  
"You're fucking freezing. Why didn't you call for me?"  
"I didn't want to make you mad"  
"Oh, brat..."  
Carried through to their bed, Levi dried him down the best he could, without letting him out his lap. Nuzzling and kissing his hair, Levi stank like pain  
"I didn't mean to freak you out"  
"I made you mad"  
"No... shit. I called Erwin earlier and it only served to make me feel shittier. I didn't mean to take it out on you. And I didn't mean for you to trip and fall backwards into the water"  
"I... know"  
So Levi had called Erwin? Why couldn't he have just said that? Erwin is Levi's best friend. He wouldn't have said anything bad about it, so why couldn't Levi just tell him?  
"You looked so fucking scared of me... I didn't mean to scare you"  
"I know"  
"This place. Isabel would have loved it. Let's get you dried off and into clean clothes. Then... then we'll talk about it"  
Who was Isabel? He felt like heard that name, but wasn't completely sure he had.

Levi dried him off and dressed him, the alpha then taking a shower of his own before joining him on their bed. Hefting him up into his lap, Eren's arse was between Levi's legs, both his own over Levi's left leg. Levi's right arm was wrapped around his shoulders, while his left hand rested on Eren's right knee, his thumb massaging small circles   
"I know I was distant this morning and I'm sorry. Isabel was my sister, my little sister"  
His little sister? Why hadn't anyone mentioned her? If Levi was saying "was", that had to mean she was dead now...  
"Levi, you don't have to tell me if you're not ready"  
"No. I want to tell you. It's just hard to find the words. Isabel wasn't my sister by blood. That didn't stop her from running after me, calling me her big brother, trampling all over my personal space like a real sibling would. We had another friend, his name was Farlan. The three of us were family. Our own families were gone, and we met on the streets, just a stupid crazy meeting before I met Erwin, but we made it work"  
Levi adjusted his hold on him, nuzzling and kissing his cheek before taking a shaky breath  
"You remind me so much of Isabel. Her eyes weren't the same green as yours, but they were so bright and hopeful. She's the one who told me about birds. She loved them. She loved all animals, but especially birds. She wanted to specialise in seabirds... she'd never gone any further Shinganshima..."  
Levi snorted, and shook his head  
"She had so many fucking dreams. She wanted to be just like the birds and fly free. That's another reason why she reminds me so much of you. Or you remind me so much of her. I thought I'd dealt with all this shit, but being here brought it all back up. Isabel would have lost her shit over this place. She would have wanted to see all the birds, and she would have been able to name them too. She... It wasn't fair that she never got to live to see this"  
Nuzzling back against Levi, his right hand came up to cup his alpha's face as his lips found his boyfriend's  
"I'm sorry"  
"You don't need to be sorry. None of this is your fault"  
"I'm sorry you're hurting so badly and I didn't know"  
"It's been a while since it hit me this hard. I called Erwin to see what I should do. He said I didn't need to tell you"  
"You didn't need to, but you did..."  
"I wanted to tell you"  
"It's like how you tell me I don't need to tell you, so I tell you when I can"  
"Something like that. I had a pretty shit childhood, in the way that I didn't know my father and my mother was a prostitute. I didn't care though. She was my mum. She loved me... and she died when I was young. Things got rough after that. But that's a conversation for another day"

Levi took a moment, pressing a couple of small kisses to Eren's lips, then continued  
"Isabel and Farlan both died. We were at a stupid party. Despite everything, Isabel had been accepted into college. I was going to the same place, but studying medicine. That's how I met Erwin, then Hanji and everyone else through them. I was so sure I was going to be a doctor, but the first day of my hospital placement, I began to waver. I wasn't sure about my choice anymore. Anyway. We were at a party. Isabel had wandered off. When we found her, she was upstairs. Fighting off these stupid shitty alphas who saw her as nothing but a good time. They cut her fucking hair... laughing at her over it. I wanted to kill them... then Farlan grabbed her and we left. I have no idea how much they'd had to drink. I never would have gotten in the car if they had. It... it was raining. I've hated the sound of thunder since... and... I suppose it's pretty obvious, there was an accident. Just like you have your nightmares, I still have mine. I remember the car rolling and Isabel screaming. The sound of the metal and then it goes blank. I was the one with medical training, yet somehow I left them behind. I got out the car, and I walked. And I walked. I kept walking until I was finally picked up. The only injuries I got was a twisted knee and a smack on my head. Because I wasn't making sense, they took me to the hospital. Erwin still doesn't know I was there. I walked away from them and they died. I should have... done more. First my mum. Then my uncle. Then Isabel and Farlan. I felt like I was cursed. Like everyone I loved or cared about, died. That's how I got the name "Ice Queen". I never wanted to get close to anyone else. If I didn't let them in, they couldn't be disappointed and they wouldn't leave, because they'd never been there in the first place. I wouldn't lose them. Hanji made it her mission for years to find me an omega. So I wouldn't be alone and die alone. But I'm no good at peopling. I quit my medical training, quit life. Quit everything. Threw myself into everything bad for you. Lived like I didn't care, because I honestly didn't. Erwin was the one who pulled me back when I gave up. I did so many fucking stupid things. Erwin quit his own dreams of being a doctor to be a paramedic, then dragged me along. I realised that it fucking sucks being the first responder, I've seen some fucked up shit that never leaves my head... but when things go to right. It's the best fucking feeling. Saving people... if I'd... if I hadn't hit my head, I would have been able to help them"

He'd never thought Levi's life could have been anything like that. The alpha was so soft and kind. So smart and sensible. He couldn't picture him breaking down. Loss fucking sucked.  
"No. No, you can't blame yourself. You loved them. And they loved you"  
"If I'd had just stopped to think. If I hadn't been so angry. If I'd been the one..."  
Eren silenced him with a kiss. Nuzzling and kissing his alpha he used his thumb to wipe away the escaped tears. Breaking the kiss, he looked up to stare into Levi's eyes   
"It is not your fault... and Isabel, I'm sure she would feel the same. The hardest person to forgive is yourself"  
"I still have their things"  
Levi's words were like a guilty secret   
"They're in the spare room... its hardly a room, but they're still there"  
The room he'd never had the courage to open. He'd kill to have something of Zeke's. He was scared because he was already forgetting so much of his brother. His smell. His hugs...  
"I know you wouldn't have looked"  
"It didn't feel like it was my place too"  
"I know. You're so good Eren. You're so good and I'm..."  
"You're amazing"  
"Thanks, brat. But I'm really not"  
"You are. You went through so much pain. You see so many painful things everyday. And you move on. You keep moving forward. That's amazing"  
"You're the one who's amazing. I know that you've been hurt. I know you've seen horrible things too"  
His mind went back to Krista. He nearly wanted to blurt everything out. Levi thought himself a killer, but what did that make him? He'd opened the door to ones who'd killed Zeke. He'd known who it was... well, a couple of them. They'd told him they'd come after him if he told, so he lied. He told the police he didn't. If... if they came after everyone, he'd be to blame. They knew where Hanji lived. They knew about Levi. It wouldn't be hard to find them. It wouldn't be hard to get to Levi. So for Hanji's sake and Levi's sake, he could never tell... not everyone everything. Like he couldn't tell Krista what else had happened while he'd been held in the basement... and that house. That and he knew if he, they'd know was never the omega they thought him  
"The past is in the past. You're strong and kind, Levi. I'm here for you, always. Can I ask you something?"  
"You can ask me anything"  
"Did you take me in because you pity me?"  
"No. I took you in because... because I could see you struggling. Right from the start, I knew things had been rough for you. You didn't give up though. You've had so many chances to just give up and quit. Yet... You have such a curiosity. You get this look in your eye when you learn something new. You wanted to keep moving forward. You're not happy with standing still. So much like Isabel"  
"So because you couldn't save Isabel, you took me in?"  
"You are you. Isabel is-was Isabel. I took you in for you. Because I care about you"  
"Thank you for telling me"  
"You're welcome. I'm sorry I was such a grumpy bastard"  
"You did scare me. But when I was running, I, um... I was so embarrassed and mad at myself. I wanted to turn back, but that makes running kind of pointless"  
"No. I upset you. You had every right to run away"  
Eren shook his head  
"I was trying to make things not so awkward"  
"While I was trying figure out the shit in my own head, I hurt you"  
"You had a lot to figure out and process. It's ok. Now I understand"  
"I'm still sorry"  
"Enough. What do you want to do now?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"I don't feel like going back down to the beach today, and you still smell upset"  
"Yeah. I feel fucking shitty. I don't know how you do this talking thing?"  
"The talking thing is hard. That's why I don't do much of it. Do they deliver food here?"  
"You mean, do they have room service?"  
"Is that the thing where they bring you food, like in the movies?"  
"Yeah. I think the menu is there by the phone"  
"Ok. We're going to order some food, then we're going to lay here and I'm going to give you a back massage"  
"Eren..."  
"Shhh. I want you to relax"  
"Brat, after what happened I should be giving you that massage. Have you ever given a massage before?"  
Eren rolled his eyes. He'd been a dancer. Of course he knew how to give a massage, and Marco had wanted massages while pregnant   
"Yes. So for once in your life, let me take care of you"  
"That sounds dangerous, but I can't think of anyone else I'd want it to be"


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, I thought you'd all be madder about Eren's nightmares, given they're mostly what happened to him in this fic...
> 
> Or maybe I'm just a slut for comments?!?

It was now the fifth day of their holiday and they off exploring the coast line in rented sedan. Zeke's ashes were in Eren's lap where the omega had been playing with the box they were in for the whole trip. Heading along the coast, they were driving towards where the terrain turned from the smooth beaches and into the steep cliffs. It would have been so much easier if Eren had just scattered the ashes at the waters edge, but his boyfriend didn't want people swimming through Zeke's remains, and when he'd put it that way, it was kind of gross. The idea of bits of Zeke washing onto the beach, and sticking in the sand... that was just, a whole lot of messed up.

Having checked the tour guides and attraction pamphlets for the area, he'd found a spot called "The Blowholes". Shaped by thousands of years of erosion, small holes had formed in the cliffs, meaning when a strong wave hit, the water would be forced up the hole in a shooting stream. Even if it wasn't the best place to scatter Zeke, it should still be pretty interesting. After that, he'd planned on taking Eren to see the natural hot water spring, the finally a drive through the plantations. Living in the city, the kid probably hadn't ever really given any thought to where the food they ate came from.

Parking at The Blowholes, Levi eyed the masses of tourists. Steel fencing had been erected to keep them off the cliff, but that meant nothing to most people these days. They were happy to die if meant a chance at an amazing selfie. Climbing from the car, Zeke was left on the front passenger seat, while Eren jogged over to his side  
"What is this place?"  
"You'll see soon"  
No sooner had the words come out his mouth, a stream of water shot through one of the holes, leaving a rainbow in its wake  
"Oh my god! Did you see that?!"  
"Yep"  
"Levi! That is so cool! I need photos"  
He'd thought that meant photos of the water, not photos of them together while Eren tried to get the rainbow behind them. It felt like it took a hundred shots for Eren to get one he was happy with, though he did get plenty of kisses to the cheek during it all, so it wasn't all terrible. Since telling Eren about Isabel and Farlan, the omega hadn't shied away once. He'd caught him sitting on the balcony smoking a single cigarette in Isabel's memory, and had sat down to listen while he rattled on about some story from when they were young. Even if it'd been 15 years, it felt like only yesterday that they met. The memories flowing back so easily. Almost too easily. By the end of it all, he was sure he'd never talked that much in his life. Walking down along the fence line, the stopped so Eren could take photos of the tourist information board, with all the do's and don't's. That everyone else was happily ignoring. Finding out there was small war memorial just a little further along the road, Eren didn't even have a chance to ask if they could go, before he was saying yes. This was why holidays were bad. He couldn't say no to Eren at the best of times. A 20 minute drive down a rough gravel road wasn't his idea of fun, not with all the dust kicked up by the traffic. Then Eren saw two horses wandering through the low scrub on the road side, so they'd had to stop so he could take photos, clearly disappointed when the pair didn't come closer.

At the war memorial, Eren took another hundred odd photos. It was a steep climb from the small dirt carpark, but was nice in its own way. Like most war memorials, it had a huge anchor, as well as neat marble wall panels naming the soldiers who'd died in the last great conflict with Marley. Eren seemed to be especially proud when he found and L. Ackerman, and an E. Yeager on the lists. Declaring that in another life they'd been soldiers and it had been a tragic love story of two star-crossed lovers. He was 90 percent sure Eren didn't know what it meant, but didn't want to dampen his enthusiasm. Urged to stand next to his "name", it was slightly spooky when a random Gull swooped down to land atop the panel. It's red rimmed eyes staring right into his before it cawed and flew away. He'd just been slipping back into thinking about Isabel.

After taking a photo of Eren next to "his name", they headed back down to the car. Eren pausing to pick a bright pink flower off one of the numerous sprawling succulent plants surrounding the walkway.

The natural springs was a half an hour drive back along the main road, and then another 5 minutes down a dirt one. The sight over grown with weeds and reeds, while the smell of Sulfur had him wrinkling his nose. Taking photos of everything, Eren nearly lost his phone as he tried to get a good photo of the water flowing from the rust pipe system installed to once water stock. Of course they couldn't drink hot water, so it instead fed off into a concrete tank to cool. By running it through a series of concrete channels, the surface area of the water was increased, allowing for a wider surface to cool at once. Or that's what the sign said in much more technical terms. Even if it might have seemed boring to some, Eren seem really excited to be learning about new things. He had no idea that erosion could form things like The Blowholes, that Paradis had even been at war with Marley, or that natural springs actually existed and his books weren't lying.

With the next stop being the plantations, they stopped off at a banana plantation, where Eren ditched him for the huge aviaries of all kinds of birds. Unlike almost all the other plantations in the area, this one was open for public visits and tours... He didn't love yours, and he loved them even less by the end of it. He had fucking filthy rotten bits of banana stuck to the bottom of his shoes. His toes curling as his feet tried to escape the filth. With it being nearly lunch time, they grabbed lunch there. Eren being the little shit that he was, and eating a banana so provocatively, he'd popped a boner of it. The things Eren could do with a banana and his plump pink lips was better than soft core porn, and all he'd done was eat the damn thing. They'd also picked up a few small souvenirs there. A key chain bottle opener for both Moblit and Hanji, while Erwin got banana, the whole where the bananas banana would be if he had one. For Eren they'd picked out a dorky looking snow globe. The banana inside dressed as snow man which made absolutely no sense... yet Eren thought it was cute, and that was enough for him to be handing over his debit card. 

 

*  
Eren was enjoying their drive. There was so much to see outside of the concrete of Shinganshima. Everything was so green and bright. And completely fascinating. Time was running out to find a place to lay Zeke at rest, but after Levi had been so open with him, his attention had mostly been on making sure Levi was doing ok with everything. It felt good and scary at the same time. He felt even closer to Levi. Like he understood why he did what he did, and it was fucking scary. He didn't want to see Levi that scared or upset all over again. He didn't want his boyfriend to suffer alone anymore.

Turning off the main road, Eren had no clue what was happening. Wild scrub along both sides of the road seemed to thicken until a small carpark appeared on the right side. Pulling into the carpark, Eren looked to his right. There was a small wooden bridge leading over what seemed to be a river. Tall weeping trees draped over the sides of the river, giving it the impression that no body had been in here in years   
"Want to go take a look? The bridge has to lead somewhere"  
"You don't mind?"  
"How often do we see nature like this?"  
Levi hated nature. The man definitely out of his element on the beach, though he tolerated it enough for them to wade around in the water. Unlike him, Levi could swim and Eren could watch him swimming around all day. It was the first time he'd seen Levi in any kind of shorts other than the boxers he wore over his boxer briefs in the summer. He loved watching the way Levi's muscles and rippled. A blush settling on his face as he grew aroused from the sight of his sexy alpha dripping wet. The only reason Levi would suggest the walk is because he knew Eren wanted to go. Leaving Zeke's ashes on the passenger seat, Eren scrambled out the car. The place was silent, even with the few ducks floating on the river. Jogging over to the bridge, he leant against the aged rails, once painted red but now faded to back to wood in places. Coming up behind him, Levi wrapped his arms around him, kissing his shoulder   
"What do think?"  
"It's pretty. Where do you think the river goes?"  
"Out to the ocean. I think it's connected to the same river that runs through Shinganshima"  
"It's so quiet... it feels like we're the only people in the world"  
"I think I could live with that"  
Turning his head, Eren kissed Levi's forehead awkwardly  
"I think you'd get bored pretty quickly"  
"I don't... this place is kind of nice"  
"Mmm. Do you want to follow the path?"  
"Did you get enough photos of the ducks?"  
"I haven't taken any yet"  
Levi felt his front pocket, pulling his phone out for him  
"I know you'll regret it if you don't"  
How did he manage to scored himself the best alpha in the world? Snapping a couple of photos of the ducks, then squealing when he realised there ducklings, Levi patiently waited for him  
"Can we take a few together?"  
"If you want to?"  
"I do... I don't ever want to forget this. Being here with you"  
"Who would have thought you'd be so sappy?"  
"I'm an omega, it comes with the dynamic"  
"We both know you're not your dynamic"  
Eren snorted. He was very much a slave to his dynamic, no matter what he did. Even now, he was slicking at the feeling of being in his boyfriends arms  
"Maybe..."  
Turning in Levi's arms, he stole a kiss. Levi, squeezing his arse in response to the stolen kiss. Mewing, he broke the kiss  
"That's not fair"  
"What's the point of having a boyfriend with such a fine arse, if I can't grope you"  
"If you keep groping me, I can't be blamed for my actions"  
"What are you going to do? Kiss me?"  
"Exactly"  
"I'm so scared"  
"You better be..."  
Kissing Levi again, his boyfriend ground up against him. The pair of them very much in their own world until the ducks behind them quacked and splashed loud enough for Eren to break the kiss with a sigh. He wanted to be with Levi physically, but needed just a little longer. It was moments like this that sucked the most. Maybe if they'd been a normal couple, Levi would have bent him over and fucked him right there... fuck... his cheeks reddened as he caught a whiff of his own aroused scent. He wished Levi was like every other alpha he'd met, the ones who couldn't read or even smell his scent. But he also wouldn't change a single think about the man  
"You look like you shat yourself, brat"  
"What the fuck am I supposed to say to that?"  
"No?"  
Rolling his eyes, he forced Levi to turn around, and leaned down to place his chin on Levi's shoulder   
"Shut up and smile for me"  
Levi scowled at the camera, Eren unable to hide his smile   
"You're not smiling"  
"Because you're a shit"  
"Mmm... probably. Now smile"  
Instead of smiling, Levi kissed his cheek. With his thumb over the camera button, he ended up with like 50 copies of the photo. Not that he minded  
"I like this one"  
"Eren, I've been meaning to ask. I know you were scared of leaving a paper trail, when you were with Zeke. But can I make a photo of us my online profile photo?"  
"You... want to use a photo with me in it?"  
"With your permission... you're my boyfriend. I want to show the world"  
Eren swallowed down the scream of happiness. Levi's ear was right near his mouth  
"I... are you sure? I'm not the special..."  
"You're my boyfriend. I want the world to know you're mine"  
Oh fuck... he squealed right into Levi's ear. But after a confession like that, he couldn't stop himself   
"Yes!"  
"Oi. Fuck. That was my ear"  
"Sorry. I tried not to... but..."  
"You got excited?"  
"Yeah..."  
"It's alright. And I won't change a thing without your permission"  
"Levi, do you think I could make an account?"  
"You want to make an account? On what?"  
"I don't know... I just. Want to know more about you"  
"All you have to do is ask. I'm honestly not on social media all that much. But Hanji and Erwin are. And Moblit"  
"If I make it an account, does everyone see it?"  
"Why don't be take a look when we get back to the room?"  
"Mmm. Ok. Exploring first?"  
"Alright, lets go exploring"

The gravel path leading from the bridge lead up to a look out. The river cutting through the dense scrub before. It was... it took his breath away. He had no idea what the plants surrounding him where, but they were beautiful... wiping at his face, he knew this was the place. This tiny place where no one came, and the environment hadn't been ruined by concrete and roads  
"Everything ok?"  
"Here... I want to scatter his ashes here"  
Levi took half a step back, but then his alpha grabbed his hand, forcing him to face him as his hand came up to cup his cheek   
"Are you sure?"  
"It's beautiful... and so peaceful. I hope wherever he is, he's at peace. That's the only thing I want... him to rest peacefully. He didn't have a happy life, and his... he deserves peace"  
"And you're sure?"  
"Yeah... Levi, do you think the river leads out to the ocean?"  
"It does"  
"I think it'd be nice if he could see all this, before seeing the ocean... if I died, I think I'd like to rest in a place like this"  
Levi's face softened, he sighed softly   
"Alright. But I don't want to think of you dying"  
"I'm not going anywhere... I couldn't leave you to find a better omega"  
"I couldn't find a better one... maybe one who's less of a brat"  
"It's not my fault I'm a brat"  
"No. I'm just a dirty old man"  
"A sexy old man"  
Levi huffed at him  
"I'm sorry. You're the only dirty old man I could ever want"  
"That's better"  
"I... I really care about you Levi. I've never met anyone like you before. You're so gentle to me, and so kind. I don't want another alpha. Any other alpha... you're all that I could ever want"  
"Eren..."  
"I know I'm young. And you're probably going to say that I might change my mind, but I won't. You make me so happy"  
"I was going to say, I have no intention of sharing you"  
"That's even better"  
Levi rose on his tiptoes to kiss his forehead  
"Lets go get Zeke"

Levi asked him if he wanted to say some words before scattering Zeke's ashes. He didn't know how to sum up the time he'd spent with Zeke. He didn't know how to thank Zeke for taking him in. For helping him find his voice again, and for saving him from the hell his life had been. He didn't know how to thank Zeke for holding him when he screamed or cried, or for all the times his brother cleaned him up. How to thank him for all the times he changed his bed sheets for him after losing control of his bodily functions, not used to having access to the toilet anymore. He didn't know how to thank him for teaching him how to dance. For giving him a way to express what he was feeling in a way that wasn't screaming or breaking things. When he'd first got out of hospital, the rehabilitation therapist had suggested yoga and gentle stretches to help him build his strength back up. Zeke had told him that. But looking at everything, it seemed a boring way to go. His brother said he'd never smiled when he'd first taken him in, so Zeke had looked into forms of rehab. Settling in dancing. Exotic dancing might not have been what Zeke was thinking, but his brother didn't stop him. He'd taught him what he needed to get by. How to talk. How to walk. How to do... everything. How was he supposed to thank Zeke for everything he did? And how was he supposed to apologise for being the one to cause his death? For all the times he disappointed him. For all the times he was bad omega who deserved to be hit. He missed him. He missed him so much... climbing down the side of the clay river bank, Eren sniffled as he opened the box. Zeke's ashes sealed in the bag inside. He wasn't sure he could do this. He didn't want to let him go. He didn't want to lose him, forever. But he wanted him to rest in peace... and leaving him in the bottom of the wardrobe wasn't ok. Taking the weight of the box in his hands, Eren nodded his thanks. His hands shaking like crazy as he lifted the bag out. It wasn't as heavy as he thought it would be. Not nearly heavy enough to be them remains of a whole human person. His brother hadn't exactly been small. How did a living, breathing person turn into this? They'd said his body was too decomposed or something for him to see him. If Levi had been listening, he could have explained it to him. But if Levi had listened, he would have known he wasn't telling them everything. The questions he'd ask would be dangerous...  
"Eren, if you're not up to this..."  
"I do... this is the right place. I know it is"  
"Ok..."

Opening the bag, Eren took a handful of ashes. His anger flaring over his brother being taken from him. He'd been the last of his family and now he was this. The ashes felt weightless in his hand. Holding the handful of ash above the water, he let out a sob as he forced his fingers to uncurl. He tried to say "Thank you" to Zeke. That he loved him. That he missed him. That he needed him and that he was sorry. Nothing came out. Everything on his lips falling silently between the sobs. This was it. Zeke would be gone forever. Finally free of his duties of looking after him... Small handful after small handful was sprinkled on the water, until the bag was empty. Running his hand through the water, Zeke's ashes were already sinking. His knees going weak as he forced himself not to fish his brother back out the river. Catching him, Levi lifted him off his feet. The box ending up in his lap as his boyfriend nuzzled into him  
"You did so good. I'm sure Zeke knows everything you wanted to say. And I'm sure he's happy to be laid to rest here"  
He wanted to go home. Or at least back to the hotel room. He hated the place for taking his brother him from him, and he loved it for being the perfect place for him to rest. It Zeke had been alive, he was sure he'd like it. It was so pretty that you couldn't help but like it. So upset that he felt sick, Levi noticed. He carried him out the river, slipping on the bank and never complaining. With his head on Levi's shoulder, his eyes were glued on the spot where Zeke was now. Finding the tiniest bit of his voice, he whispered  
"Thank you for loving me"  
If Levi heard, he didn't say. His boyfriend carrying him over to the passenger side. Being a low sitting sedan, it wasn't quite as easy to lower him in. Eren climbing out Levi's hold without saying anything. He couldn't stop crying, and his taxed mind couldn't thank his boyfriend. He just didn't have the mental energy to do anything but be miserable. Levi took all over in his stride. His boyfriend took his shoes and socks off for him, dd his seatbelt, covered him with his jacket from the back seat and kissed him softly  
"I'm going to drive us home now. Or do you want to stay a little longer?"  
If they stayed, he was sure he'd go crazy. That he'd throw himself in the water and beg to die. To be with him. He was supposed to die with him... he was never supposed to be with Levi. With a pitiful look on his face, he looked to Levi  
"Ok. Give me a moment"  
It really did seem to take a forever for Levi to climb into the sedan after closing the door for him. Throwing his phone up onto the dash, Levi then placed his hand on his leg   
"I looked at the sign. This place is called Ymir's Pool. So you know"  
He hadn't even thought about that. He'd just dumped Zeke... in a place he didn't know the name of... What kind of person did that make him? The river wasn't that deep, the sun reaching to the bottoms of it. Once the sun set, it'd be so cold. Hanji had explained that bodies were kept cold in the morgue. His brother locked away in a cold box for months, before being scattered in a river that would turn just as cold. Closing his eyes, his thoughts went to Zeke laying at the bottom of the river. Trapped under all that water with no hope for escape.

At some point he'd fallen asleep on the way back to the hotel. The thought of Zeke being cold had taken such a hold on his fragile mind that he'd dreamed a nightmare of his brother trapped under the water drowning. His mouth open, screaming as his hands reached for him. Bubbles were all he could see. Bubbles from Zeke's soundless screams. When Levi woke him, his heart was racing so fast that he feel the thudding in his head. His boyfriend looked at him so sadly. He didn't have any words to comfort Levi. To make things right. It wasn't until Levi went to help him from the car that he found he'd scratched his arms again. The scabbing wounds bleeding beneath his sleeves. He couldn't deal with this. He'd never felt like he was right now. He'd known it was the perfect place to lay Zeke to rest when he'd seen the view. His brother would make the journey to the ocean without him... and Eren would return home. Leaving him behind. If anyone was being left, he should have been it. Everyone left him, and every time his world shattered into thousands of pieces. The pain was raw, like the open wounds on his arms. It was the kind of pain he'd take a million times, to prevent anyone feeling it even just once.

 

*  
Levi knew saying goodbye had broken Eren's heart. The omega's scent was painful, to both him and his alpha. It seemed to coat his tongue and leave a bad taste in his mouth. He'd hoped laying Zeke to rest would relieved the burden Eren carried on his shoulders. His boyfriend had chosen the place to say goodbye, but now he wondered if it was too soon. Eren might be long and lanky, not instinctively rousing the desire to protect from most alphas, yet he knew that was was far from the truth. His boyfriend was small, scared and fragile. Some days he oozed a confidence that blew him off his feet, but that was an act. It was the kind of confidence Eren wished for himself. Levi tried to see beyond, and most times he did, but this Eren in front of him... this was the Eren he'd seen when they'd first met. The broke boy who jumped and flinched at shadows. Saying goodbye to Zeke had brought him back to the surface.

With clothes stained in filthy river stink, Levi took Eren through to the bathroom. Sitting him down in the bath, Eren barely seemed to notice as he stripped him down to his underwear. Checking to make sure the kid wasn't using a pad, he then turned the taps on and poured in way too much vanilla bodywash. Eren was in shock, his body cool and clammy to the touch. He needed to get him warmed back up. Moving to move away from his boyfriend, Eren reached out and took his hand. The touch was weak, Eren's hand would have slid from his if he hadn't curled his fingers slightly   
"Do you want me to stay?"  
There was a small tug on his hand   
"If I'm staying, I need to get out these filthy clothes"  
The river water had been fucking disgusting. His skin tried to shrink away from his equally revolting clothes. He never, ever, would have set foot in it if it wasn't for Eren. Both his and the kids sneakers were ruined by swamp mud from the bottom of the river. He'd binned both pairs in the rubbish bin of the hotel's car park, while Eren's was in his hold. With his legs loosely wrapped around his waist and his face against his shoulder, he was sure Eren hadn't even noticed them gone. They both had another pair of sneakers packed, and if Eren really liked them, he would buy him another pair. Letting Eren make the next move, his hand jerked back from Levi's with a soft whine  
"I'm just going to strip off. I'll keep my underwear on"  
He really wanted to take a fucking shower, for at least an hour and a half. But the water was already pouring into the bathtub, so redirecting it to either of the shower heads would result in poor pressure. Taking a couple of steps out of Eren's reach, he peeled his jeans off, wincing at the stink that came wafting back up from the source being disturbed. Next came his shirt. Eren letting out a kind of grunt as the garment hit the floor  
"Do you want me to leave?"  
Closing his eyes, Eren slid forward in the tub. His knees coming up to his chest as he wrapped his arms around them. With the bath being so big, there was barely three inches in the bottom of it  
"What do you need from me? What can I do to help?"  
Eren moved the thumb and pointer fingers of his right hand, turning them out slightly. Staring at it, it was the "ay" incident all over again. He thought it meant that Eren wanted him to stay, but without words, he didn't know  
"You want me to stay"  
His boyfriend didn't respond. What was he supposed to do now? If Eren wanted him to stay, he would. He looked scared and vulnerable... getting a new idea, he took a deep breath before stepping closer to the tub again. Stepping over the side, he sank down behind Eren and pulled him up between his legs. Instead of pulling away, or tensing, Eren slumped back against him. So this was what the omega wanted? His boyfriend to hold him. He could do this. There was nothing sexy about being in a bath in your underwear. Nor was there anything sexy about the smells of distressed omega, confused and agitated alpha, and river water. Using his toes to pull the plug out, he drained the bath of the river water mix, before sliding back into place. Being such a large bath, it was going to take a while before it filled. In his arms, Eren was still freezing cold with shock. Goosebumps covered his boyfriend skin. Rubbing Eren's arms, Eren whined softly against him. The whine slightly different as it was the sound of an omega in distress, calling for their alpha to soothe them. He was Eren's alpha, but they weren't bonded. He couldn't soothe Eren's fears completely like a bonded alpha could, and there was no way he was going to bond with Eren so soon into their relationship. Even if the omega said he was all he could want, and even if the urge to mark and claim him was strong, Eren needed time. The vibrant omega was still so young. He didn't want to limit his options or his future. Eren might be it for him. He was completely invested in him, and wanted a future with him, but one day, Eren might not feel the same way. And though he wanted to keep Eren by his side forever, he wouldn't force him to stay or make him feel obligated to with his mark, if he found someone he loved more than him.

It took nearly half an hour to fill the bathtub just over half way. Eren was still whining softly for comfort, while Levi was nuzzling into his cheek in an attempt to provide it. He knew omegas purred when needing to calm themselves, but Eren wasn't purring like he'd seen him do so many times before. It made him wonder if Eren had finally given up his sad purr, now only choosing to purr when purely content and happy. Each omegas purr was slightly different, some not purring at all. Yet he was sure if he could get Eren purring, it would help calm his racing heart. It'd been a few hours since scattering Zeke, including the drive back, if Eren didn't calm down soon, he risked going into heat, and that would only make his boyfriend feel even worse. Plus, taking Eren on a plane while in heat was just not possible. Even if it was one of his semi-heats, the smell alone was enough to drive any alpha wild. Or at least him, as he seemed to be the only alpha in the world that picked it up. For his friends, they had to be up close to tell, basically touching his boyfriend. For him. Nope. He liked to think it was because Eren was "made" for him, despite the reality that it was a side effect from the trauma he'd suffered as a kid. Sitting Eren up in front of him, his boyfriend whined again. Starting with Eren's shoulders, he began to massage while keeping his lips near Eren's nape. It was a dirty trick. The napes of most people were incredibly sensitive, to touch there was only allowed by the person themselves or their mate. With gently kisses to the area, Eren mewed for him, his own nature turning against him as it calmed and tried to get more attention for the spot. Continuing to kiss, he alternated with mouthing until Eren was simply mewing and panting. The sadness in his scent had turned to arousal, which was kind of flirting with danger, but much more easy for him to bring Eren out of. Wrapping an arm around Eren's waist, he pulled him back up against him, resting his chin on his shoulder as his boyfriend slowly calmed his breathing back down to normal, the finally evened out as he fell asleep against him.

With both himself and Eren washed down completely, something that he hoped his boyfriend wouldn't realise involved stripping him of his underwear, he carried Eren out to their bed where he finished drying him off, before dressing him in his underwear and the sweats he used for pyjamas. Next came dressing Eren's arms back up. Some of the scratches were definitely going to scar. Eren might use vitamin E cream for his scars, but it wasn't an overnight fix. It'd take weeks, and months for them to fade from such a deep and angry pink. Once that was done there was only one thing left to do, and that was to climb into bed with omega. Manhandle him so they were laying tangled up together, Eren's still damp hair was tickling his chest. Isabel's and Farlan's funerals had hit him hard. The same emotions he'd struggled through were now hitting his boyfriend much harder than they'd hit him. At least he got to see both of his friends bodies before their burial, while all Eren got was a pile of ashes. It had to fucking hurt, which is probably why Eren couldn't say what he'd wanted to. He'd have to until tomorrow to ask Eren if he wanted to go back to the spot and say a proper goodbye. He probably should have offered some kind of words as Eren scattered the ashes, but he had no love in his heart for Zeke. He'd used and manipulated Eren's good nature and natural desire to help and protect what he held dear, and fucked the omega right over. He'd turned him against the people who loved him, while Eren was blinded to it all by the love for his brother.

Hanji called him a few hours later. Outside the balcony doors, the world was bathed in oranges and red from the sunset. He would have liked to have been able to take the call outside, but Eren had a firm hold on him. Making sure he didn't disturb his boyfriend, he swiped his thumb across the screen, before laying it down on his ear   
"Levi! Can you hear me?!"  
Fuck. Why did she have to yell?!  
"Keep your voice down, Eren's sleeping"  
"Oooooh, late night? Did you two finally do it again?! I hope you were careful and used protection"  
"No..."  
"Levi! Seriously!"  
"Shut up. We didn't have a light night. Eren scattered Zeke's ashes today, then had a bit of a meltdown"  
"My poor honey. Where did you scatter him? At the beach?"  
"No, we found a spot along the river that Eren liked. It hit him super hard"  
"Of course it did. He had to say goodbye today. Is he in heat? I can probably arrange time off to drive down if he is?"  
"No. Not the moment. I couldn't pull him out of like usual, so it's probably for the best he's sleeping right now"  
"Make sure you give him lots of love for me"  
"Not happening. Why are you disturbing my holiday?"  
"Oh! Oh... that's right. I had to take Titan over to Erwin's. He's fine, but when I got there today, there was a note on the door about the noise. I think the poor boy misses his humans"  
"So he's ok?"  
"Yeah. Just a bit lonely. He even came up to me for pats"  
"Desperate times call for desperate measures"  
"Rude! Hey, I know Eren's probably feeling really down, but you should take him out tonight"  
"What do you mean take him out? He isn't going to want to be in a crowd"  
"I mean just take him out dancing or something..."  
"Hanji, he's really not up for dancing"  
"He loves dancing. It'll help take his mind off everything. Or take him out for a nice dinner. If he stays inside, he's only going to get more depressed"  
"I think I know how to make my boyfriend feel better"  
"I'm not saying you don't, but..."  
"Hanji, I've got it handled. I'm going before he wakes up"  
"Fiiiine. I only called to see how my honey was, and to let you know about Titan"  
Ending the call, Levi looked down at Eren's hair. Maybe Hanji was right.... Maybe instead of cuddling, Eren needed a distraction.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omnomnomnomnom
> 
> So. In other news. A single packet of Marlboro 25 red, costs $35 AUD...
> 
> Also, thanks to the special people who are still here reading this, ans wondering when the fuck I'm gonna end it...

Levi woke him late at night. The sun gone, and the air cold as his boyfriend dressed him. Levi was dressed in black, while his alpha put him in a white shirt and black jeans. Levi even insisted on him wearing his hair down, which felt kind of weird. He didn't really know if Levi liked his long hair. Sure, his boyfriend played with it sometimes, but Levi always kept his hair short, not like him. It seemed like if it grew by even a millimetre, Levi was there trimming it. Still in a state of confusion, he was ushered out their bedroom, without any idea of what was happening.

Lead through the hotel and into the night air, he was freezing. The moon and the stars were hidden behind thick dark clouds, leaving only the lights of the stores and streets to guid them. Levi didn't seem to notice, though his alpha did swap to holding him around his waist until of just holding his hand. He wanted to be home, or rather, back in their bed at the hotel getting cuddles from his boyfriend, not walking around in the middle of the night.

Arriving at another hotel, he had no idea what was happening. Lead in by Levi, nothing seemed out of place until they walked over towards the faint sound of music. Holding out their ID's, the man at the door let them in and everything changed. He had no idea Levi would ever willingly take him to a club. He'd thought mate this was a late dinner date... Leaning in, Levi had to yell to be heard over the dance music  
"Surprised?!"  
"Very! How did you find this place?!"  
"Google! Do you want something to drink?"  
"Sounds good!"  
It did. Getting tipsy sounded like the perfect problem solver. Forgetting everything and just feeling the music, was definitely preferable to being trapped in his own head.

Levi seemed to have forgotten it took a fair bit to get him drunk... or that they were in a club. The alpha calmly sipped his first double shot scotch, while Eren had downed his own and was onto his third. He desperately wanted to go dance, but didn't want to dance without Levi. Levi might have been self conscious when it was just the two of them, but there had to be like a hundred people here. He wanted to dance in Levi's arms, and to feel his alpha's hands over him, while no one else could touch  
"Do you want to dance?!"  
Eren jumped at the voice, his spirits shooting up. Levi was actually asking him!  
"Don't give me that look!"  
"You don't dance!"  
"I'm not letting anyone else close to you!"  
Draining his glass, Levi took him by the hand and lead him towards the dance floor. Internally Eren's omega was screaming with happiness, while externally he tried not to let it show. Levi hated crowds of people. The smell of horny alphas and omegas was in the air, but leading him through to near the centre, the moment Levi wrapped his arms around Eren, it was all forgotten. Letting his hands roam down Levi's sides, his hands settled on his alpha's arse unable not to laugh at the eyebrow raise Levi gave him  
"You're so tense!"  
"What am I supposed to do?!"  
"Feel the music"  
Levi didn't dance, he moved awkwardly while Eren danced against him. When he turned in his hold, the alpha finally started to move, grinding up against his arse. Maybe his alpha did get it, but was just too shy to show him.

As the night passed, Levi finally got into it. With their lips together, it felt almost like they were having their kind of sex right there in front of everyone. Messy and sloppily, they groped at each other. Their scents filling the space around them, leaving them love drunk off each other. He wanted Levi to take him and to touch him. Petting. Blow Job. Rutting up against each other. He didn't care. He just needed to feel his alpha touching him until he came apart. Plenty of alcohol had helped. Levi was just going to order double shots, but Eren wasn't having it. He'd told his alpha he could out drink him, and that led to ordering 20 shots for the pair of them. He downing his faster than Levi could, though his boyfriend did make it to seven before shaking his head. Finishing the last three, he shot Levi a cocky grin, before dragging him back onto the dance floor. Now on the drunk side of tipsy, he couldn't care less about what was going on around them. Levi's breath was hot, Eren couldn't get enough of his boyfriend's touches and growls each time anyone got close to them. His belly felt warm, between his legs wet as he hooked his leg around Levi and half mounted his jeans. Threading his hands in his hair, Levi bared his throat, the alpha sucking and nipping. Moaning, he whined as Levi pulled him flush up against him, his leg slipping from between Eren's  
"I want to take you home"  
Eren's heart skipped a beat. Nodding quickly, Levi took his hand and pulled him along.

Getting back to their room, Eren was drunk drunk. He knew what was going on, but his emotions and the close check he kept on himself had slipped. Stripping each other's clothes off, he toed off his shoes and socks, stumbling backwards towards the bed and pulling Levi with him. He loved this man with all his heart. Every single bit of him was perfect. Licking his lips, he eyed Levi's dick hungrily. His own underwear might still be on, but he was more than ok with Levi being naked. Laughing as Levi rolled them over, it turned into whine as Levi rolled his hips against his. Fuck. He wanted him. His body was burning for him, like he was in heat. He'd never drunk this much before, with someone around him. Even before the shots, he'd pulled Levi on and off the dance floor for drinks... so he had absolutely no idea how much he'd had. Straddling Levi's lap, his eyes were hooded with lust  
"You're so beautiful"  
Blushing under Levi's praise, he leant down, capturing his boyfriend's lips as his hand slid down to Levi's stomach. The alpha's erection was rubbing solidly against him arse, sending butterflies through his stomach each time the blunt tip rubbed over his opening. If he'd been sober, the feeling would have made him physically sick. But he wasn't and he wanted him. Removing his hand from Levi's stomach, he sat up, thumbing the band of his underwear and pushing them down to free his erection. After what had felt like hours of foreplay on the dance floor, his underwear was wet with precum, his dick throbbing and he wanted to come   
"Eren"  
Levi's voice was a breathy moan that sent shivers down his spine. He had to have his alpha.

Wriggling unsexily from his underwear, he moaned as Levi's hands grabbed his arse  
"Shit, brat... so fucking wet..."  
"Wet for you... I need you so badly"  
Lining himself up, he held himself over Levi's erection. The tip barely breaching him as he mewed   
"Fuck..."  
"Eren... are you sure?"  
"Yes... need you Levi... love you so much"  
Levi growled, pulling him down for a kiss. He loved this man. He'd do absolutely everything for himself. If Levi asked him to die for him, he would.

Lowering himself down, he was now too drunk to even form a coherent thought, or a thought he could remember. He hadn't prepped himself, so there was a slight burn as he bottom out, but all it did was make it feel even better. His alpha made him feel so full  
"Mmm, ah... fuck... so big... so good"  
Rolled his hips, Eren moaned, it felt so fucking good  
"You like that?"  
"Y-yeah... you feel so good. So good as you fuck me..."  
Starting to ride Levi sloppily, everything felt too good  
"Alpha... love you... so good... so good to me... fuck... I want your pups... fill me"  
His words were panted out between his pants for air. The heat in his belly was only growing more intense. He wanted Levi to fuck him and breed him, so fucking badly   
"Levi... need it... need your knot... please alpha.... I want you thick dick knotted up my arse..."  
Drunk Eren had no idea how desperate and out of it he sounded, but he definitely wasn't above begging for it. Levi's dick seriously felt like it was made to be inside him. Even with his sloppy rhythm, each time he came down, he was stretched even further as his sweet spot was abuse perfectly  
"Levi... need to come... need to come..."

Rolling them over, Levi growled. The alpha pulling back until he was barely inside, then slamming into him hard. Half a dozen thrusts had him coming undone. Semen splattering across his stomach as he screamed Levi's name. Between his legs, Levi continued to fuck him, his orgasmic high making everything sensitive. Being so full of alcohol, neither of them lasted long. Levi's knot popping and making Eren come again with a high pitched moan. It felt so good. His legs shaking like crazy as his Levi's seed filled him. He fucking loved his boyfriend. He always knew just what he needed. Collapsing to lay along his chest, Levi peppered his sweaty skin with kisses, one hand finding his and holding on tight. Purring as his lover filled his belly, his fear of sex was the furthest thing on his mind. Instead all he could think about was how much he loved Levi, and how proud it made him to be filled with his seed.

 

*  
Eren couldn't remember the previous night... only that a lot of sex had happened. His nails had torn up Levi's perfect and smooth back. The red and swollen marks the first thing he'd seen when he'd woken up with a groan. As for his own body, small possessive bite marks littered his skin. His left nipple bruised from Levi's lips sucking and biting on the sensitive spot. Between his legs and beneath where he slept was covered in come and slick, his stomach felt swollen full of it in a way that excited his omega, even though he knew it didn't work that way, especially after a contraceptive shot. Oh god. Drunk Eren was a slut. His abused and leaking arse made it hard to say otherwise... it still throbbed in a way that left his lower half slightly aroused. Even if he was a slut, at least he'd been a slut for his own alpha. He'd seen Levi's dick before, and had to admit he loved what he saw... 

Having stumbled to the bathroom, he leaned heavily on the bathroom counter. The previous night taking forever to come back to him in pieces. Levi had taken him drinking and actually danced with him. Then they'd done a fuck load of shots, made out on the dance floor... and... fuck... nope. He couldn't remember. Levi was drunk. He knew that much, but he also knew his boyfriend would have asked his permission, and wouldn't have touched him if he hadn't agreed... even though they were both drunk... H-he'd actually told Levi he'd wanted him. He'd done it... he just couldn't remember it... but it had to have happened! He'd finally let it happen, again... and he didn't know how he felt about it. His omega was thrilled... while his own mind was conjuring up his nightmares. Trying to confuse him. Trying to make him think Levi had been the one who'd held him down and fucked in him the dark basement of that house. His alpha wasn't like that. Levi wouldn't hurt him... fuck. He felt sick. He needed to think...

Showering, he immediately missed Levi's scent. He felt naked without it. Exposed and vulnerable. He'd never, ever got black out drunk before. Creeping back into their room, he was relieved to find Levi still sleeping. It gave him time to dress, grab his phone and head out to the balcony. During their holiday, he'd ignored texts and calls, purely focusing on Zeke and Levi... No. That was lie. He was focusing on his own happiness. He'd gone swimming. Picked a shell from the beach. Eaten some really great food and had Levi pamper him, and then they'd gone dancing. All things he wanted to do, but he didn't know what to do for Levi. He didn't want whatever happened last night to come between them. Each time he thought about how much it might hurt Levi, his chest ached so badly that it was hard to breathe. He wanted to stay with Levi, more than he'd ever wanted anything before. He wanted to make Levi proud of him... and be the best omega he could for him. Ok. So he was totally head over heels for his alpha, but he was so scared telling Levi he loved him would make the alpha want to dump him off at the first chance he got... plus... telling Levi was a big deal, and he just wasn't quite ready yet.

Staring at the small list of contacts in his phone, he sighed to himself. Out of all his choices, Hanji, Moblit and Erwin, Eren found himself calling Erwin. Erwin was Levi's friend before Hanji and Moblit, and though Hanji was close to Levi, it seemed like Levi would have opened up more to Erwin. Waiting for the call to connect, he stared out across the ocean, people already down in the water splashing and swimming, setting themselves up on the beach. They were due to go home tomorrow afternoon, so whatever he did, it had to be today  
"Hello?"  
Erwin's voice was gruff, Eren wincing as he hoped that he hadn't woken the alpha   
"Erwin?"  
A groan with a shuffling of sheets came through, a few moments passing   
"Eren? What's up? Is something wrong?"  
"No! No... no..."  
Fuck. Now that he was actually talking to Erwin, he was nervous as fuck  
"Eren, why are you calling? Is Levi ok  
"Umm... Erwin, how much does Levi remember when he gets really drunk?"  
"How drunk is really drunk?"  
"We had shots and drank a lot..."  
"He should be alright... why? Did something happen?"  
He didn't want to tell Erwin that they'd both got drunk and had sex  
"No. Not really. He's just um, still asleep. I guess I was wondering how he would be waking up?"  
Erwin snorted  
"Cranky. Let him a shower and a hot cup of tea before trying to get anything out of him"  
"Oh... ok"  
That meant calling room service... he didn't know if Levi would be happy about that  
"Eren, is that all? Did something happen?"  
"No... no... I just... I want to do something nice for him, but I don't know what to do. We've gone swimming and for a drive and went on a bush walk, and we went drinking and dancing... so I want to do something for him"  
"You got Levi to do all that?"  
Eren frowned at Erwin's surprised tone. He didn't get Levi to do anything. His alpha suggested it most of the time...  
"Sorry. Levi's not usually a swimming person. Look, I'm sure you can figure something out. You're a smart kid. I'm going back to sleep, I only got off work a few hours ago"  
Yep. He'd woken him  
"Oh. Ok. Sorry for disturbing you"  
Erwin ended the call without saying goodbye or anything. Bringing his left knee up, he winced as he felt Levi's stuff coming out his arse. He thought he'd cleaned himself properly in the shower... they're been a lot to clean out... apparently not. Talking to Erwin hadn't helped at all, and he didn't know how to face his boyfriend. He kept saying no to sex, but add alcohol and his fear seemed to go away... he could tell Levi about his nightmares... just because they were based on reality, he didn't need to tell him that. He could just claim it was all a nightmare, like he had with Krista. It wasn't like he was lying. He really did have those nightmares... and after fucking up last night, and probably a lot of the morning, he really did owe Levi some kind of explanation.

When Levi finally woke, he wasn't cranky like Erwin had warned. The first thing his boyfriend did was shower. He'd probably looked for him, but it was kind of easy to see he was out on the balcony from their bed. With his towel draped over his shoulders, and dressed in grey sweats, Levi sighed as he walked onto the balcony and over to the railing, where he turned to lean back against it  
"Hey, you"  
"Hey"  
Levi's voice was soft, but his replied "hey" was loud with nerves  
"Look, about last night. It wasn't my intention to get you drunk and have sex"  
So they were just going to dive right into it  
"I know"  
"I'm sorry... I know you consented, but..."  
"Levi, don't. Ok. I know you would never ever touch me without my consent, even when you're drunk. I'm... I'm not mad about it... maybe, confused, but not mad"  
"Are you sure? We didn't use a condom..."  
"I had my shot, remember?"  
"I... yeah... I just... I fucked up, didn't I?"  
Eren shook his head   
"No... I did have a heap of fun dancing with you... I just hate myself for not being able to give myself to you, without some kind of... help"  
"You know I'm not in it for you body, don't you?"  
"I know..."  
Eren took a shaky breath. He could tell Levi felt terrible, just from the way he held himself. He had to tell him  
"I have fucked up dreams that don't go away"  
The words rushed out in a jumble. He blinked up at Levi, hoping the alpha got it  
"Did you have a nightmare?"  
"Not last night"  
"Then... I'm sorry. I don't understand"  
"I... have a nightmare I keep having and it's bad"  
"Is it about Zeke?"  
Eren shook his head, he was only telling Levi this one thing...  
"I have a dream where I'm locked in a basement and a group of alphas do things to me... things I don't want them to do"  
When Levi didn't reply, Eren closed his eyes  
"I can feel them and I can smell them. They hold me down and they won't stop. I try to scream and kick, but they rut up against me and they laugh and when I wake up, I can still feel it. It feels so real... like their scent is right there... like they really... I get so scared. I'm so scared when I wake up. I keep expecting to be there. With them... it's fucked up... but... I've had these nightmares for years... I know it's a stupid nightmare and I wake up with you... I know I'm fucked up, but they don't go away"  
"And you get scared when anyone touches you... I get it"  
"Y-you do?"  
"How long have you had these nightmares?"  
"Umm... years"  
"So for years you've been suffering in your sleep... it's normal for it to scare you"  
"You're not getting it"  
"Eren"  
"No... I want this. I want us. I tell you I don't want sex, and then I have sex with you. And last night, we did it a lot. Zeke told me not to touch myself because it's dirty and wrong. He punished me because he was right..."  
"You're scared of sex. You're scared because you think you won't be able to wake up, or your partner won't stop. While feeling guilty over the pleasure you feel. Am I right?"  
Nodding, Eren's cheeks burned. Abandoning the railing, Levi came over and squatted down in front of him   
"Eren, you are the single most precious thing in my life. I know you know that. Last night, I wanted you to have fun and do something you loved. I didn't mean for it to end the way it did, but holding you felt really good for me too. You're smart and funny and cute. And you're my boyfriend. I'll swear on whatever you want that I won't do it again, if that's what will make you feel better"  
And there it was again. Levi not getting it   
"Levi... I'm telling you this because I need you to understand. Krista called it rape... but in my dreams, it feels like it's something I deserve for being born like this. When I'm... I can't switch it off in my brain, when I'm me... I can't get it out my head. Last night, for the first time in a long time, I didn't have to think. I could have a normal night with my alpha... I'm not mad. I don't want you to swear on anything. I want you to be ok, because even if I'm scared over the fact we did it, it... I want to be ok with it, because you're my alpha"  
"I was sure you'd be mad at me"  
"Levi... I'm not mad at you... in fact, I kind of called Erwin earlier"  
"You called Erwin?"  
"I've... been out here for a few hours now... I wanted to do something for you... for trying to help me"  
"We don't need to do anything"  
"I said I wanted to... I want to"  
"I was going to see if you maybe wanted to go see Zeke today?"  
Eren's heart felt like someone had grabbed it and squeezed...  
"Hey, it was only a suggestion"  
"I... don't think... I'm ready"  
"That's perfectly fine... I just thought maybe you'd like to say everything you didn't yesterday"  
Levi was always thinking about him, and putting him first... it wasn't fair. He never knew what to in return...  
"Talk to me?"  
"Why do you that?"  
Levi looked genuinely confused  
"Do what?"  
"Make everything about me"  
"Because I like seeing you happy"  
"What about you? Why don't you do anything for yourself?"  
"Because seeing you happy, makes me happy"  
"I don't like it"  
"Don't like what?"  
"You don't do enough for yourself... I want you to do things for you. Like last night, I know you don't like dancing and clubbing, but you took me to make me feel better"  
"And...?"  
"And it's not ok. I know I don't know a lot of things, but I want to do things you like too. I want to know more about the things you like and hate... I want to know more about you and... you keep spoiling me. It's not fair"  
"I like doing things that make you happy"  
"Well I don't want that kind of relationship. I don't want an alpha who only cares about my happiness. Being with you makes me happy. It still feels like this a dream! I thought I way happy when I was with Zeke, but you're what makes me happy. I want you to be selfish... as selfish as I am"  
"You're not selfish. And everything I do, I do for myself too. Your happiness is what makes me happy. I lived alone before you came along. I went to work, and to Hanji's, occasionally I went out for drinks, but most of my time was spent at home reading or cleaning my apartment... do you really want an alpha who's main joy in life is cleaning?"  
"Yes... if it means you're happy"  
"Brat. I'm saying I do these things with you for my own selfish reason. The fact I know I'm the one making you happy"  
Groaning, Eren hid his face against his leg. Sometimes Levi was way too much to handle  
"I just want to know more about you"  
"Levi Ackerman. 5 foot something, with black hair and constipated look on his face. I hate dust and dirt, and lazy people. I love reading and cleaning. I live with my cat and my omega, in an apartment I own. I drive a black Range Rover, and work as a paramedic. That's all there is to it"  
"That's not all there is to you... I know it's not"  
"Then why don't you tell me what you know?"  
"That you're smart, and kind, and brave, and amazing. You're really kind... even when you get mad, or sound cranky, you're not. You care a lot about other people. You like tea over any other drink, and don't like mushrooms... and, you're hot as hell... but I want to know more"  
"Ask me anything?"  
"What do you want to do today?"  
"We both know I didn't mean that"  
"You said to ask you anything"  
"I suppose I did... well, today... first we need to have breakfast, so I want to have breakfast with you"  
Ugh. Why the fuck did Levi have to be so caring?! Breakfast was just food. He didn't even really love food. It seemed like so much effort...  
"Then after breakfast?"  
"We could go for a walk"  
"Erwin said you didn't like swimming..."  
"I don't. Not really, but I'm finding myself doing more and more things I wouldn't normally do, when I'm with you"  
"You could have said"  
"This was the first time either of us had been to the ocean. I wanted to make memories with you"  
"It feels like... I just don't want everything to be about me"  
"Eren, you're the whole reason we came out here. And I don't regret coming out here... not when I got to see it all with you"  
Eren sighed. Levi was a stubborn arsehole who wasn't giving him anything to work with   
"How about I get dressed and we go find something to eat?"  
"Fine. But I'm still thinking about this"  
"You're not going to find anything I want to do without you"  
Yep. His boyfriend was an arsehole! Rising to his feet, Levi stole a quick kiss  
"I'll be right back. Thank you for thinking about me, and thank you for opening up about your nightmares"  
"Whatever. It's fine. I'm still mad at you"  
"I'm pretty sure you're not"  
"No... I'm not really mad at you... and I should probably tell you, I can't remember much of what happened last night. It's... blank after getting back here"  
Levi frowned, Eren growing nervous... should have not told him?   
"You don't remember it?"  
"No... not all of it... but I know I was with you, and I trust you"  
Levi nodded, before dropping a kiss on the top of Eren's head. His boyfriend was definitely off. It felt like he'd gone and forgotten something super important to Levi, without having any idea what it is... maybe it was because they'd fucked like bunnies? He was sure they had... he felt like they had and there had been a lot of come... yet that didn't quite feel like what Levi was annoyed over. Maybe if he was patient, Levi would just tell him what he'd forgotten?

 

*  
Unlike Eren, Levi remembered almost all of the pervious night. Dragging Eren back to their hotel room, and into bed... his memory fading as he lost himself between Eren's legs, during... well, there'd been lots of sex. He didn't even remember pulling out of his boyfriend. Fuck, he'd been wasted. Only for Eren to not remember it. The sex had been warm and affectionate, Eren clinging to him, begging for more and telling him over and over how much he loved him, and wanted a future and kids with him. The little shit had forgotten all of it. He should have known Eren wouldn't remember... Eren wasn't that open about all his wants. He didn't let him in like that, and while drunk, he'd stupidly thought Eren was just as drunk as he was, and that's why he spouting love like an idiot. He hadn't thought that Eren was completely wasted to the point he'd forget absolutely everything. Now that he was sober, he could see the error in his ways. Drunk Levi was horny arsehole... but in his defence, his boyfriend was fucking perfect. It was hard not to feel selfish and greedy with Eren beneath him, needy and wanting more. He'd been just as drunk on alcohol as he had been on his omega.

Getting dressed, he waited for Eren to come in on his own. He didn't know if he should take his hand, or just give him space. He also didn't know how to face Eren, a heavy guilty weight in his stomach from fucking up again. He was frustrated and angry at himself, and then frustrated and angry all over again for feeling that way. Drunk sex happens. He should know. He'd certainly done that before... He should just be relieved that they at least ended up with each other  
"Levi, you're frowning"  
"Sorry. I was just thinking"  
Thinking that he really wasn't equipped to handle this. Especially with Eren's neck looking like he'd mauled him. His alpha fucking loved it  
"Levi, are we going?"  
"Uh. Yeah"  
Since when did he say "uh". He didn't say "uh"... why couldn't he human? This was his boyfriend. Is his boyfriend. He was going to freak Eren out if he kept acting like this. Even with all that happened, Eren wanted to make today about him  
"Are you ok? Did I do something wrong?"  
"No, Eren. We should go... I need tea"  
A lot of fucking tea if he was going to figure this shit out... 

Eren was quite during breakfast at the hotel. The omega wolfed down his food though, which was a nice change. He demolished two stacks of pancakes, as well as a fruit salad. It was the most he'd ever seen his boyfriend eat. Even if they hadn't had dinner the previous night, it was still too much to blame that on Eren's new found appetite. Especially when his own was non-existent, due to the fact he was sure Eren was going to break down at any moment. His boyfriend was too fragile not to. How could he possibly want to make the day about him, when he'd lost control last night? He just... he didn't understand it. Why wasn't Eren madder at him? He should have fucking known. He'd just been so drunk, and so fucking horny. He'd knotted the shit out of his omega, wasn't his arse sore? Let alone his hips? And his neck? It looked like he was some kind of monster with no self control at all. And Eren... he was so beautiful with his big green eyes, his soft caramel skin, and silky brown hair. He didn't deserve to call Eren his boyfriend... but Eren had said he loved him. He'd given him consent and begged for more. Shit. He couldn't do this  
"Levi, are you alright?"  
"Yeah... sorry. What do you want to do today?"  
Eren rolled his eyes   
"What do you want to do? I told you, I want to make today about you"  
Reaching out to place his hand on his, Levi grabbed his tea cup, the move kind of obvious. He'd done it without thinking, driven by his internal panic. Forcing himself to take a sip, Eren deflated next to him. Smooth Levi. Real fucking smooth  
"I... why don't we take a look at the shops along the strip?"  
"Is that what you want to do?"  
"Why can't you tell me what you want to do? This is your holiday too"  
Fuck. He'd upset Eren. His scent flaring up around him  
"I told you, I want to do the things you want to do. I know you didn't get enough time looking around before"  
"Stop making this about me!"  
Pushing his chair back with a loud scrape, Eren stalked off, disappearing to the right rather than the left once outside the dining room door. If he'd gone left, he'd have been heading back up to their room, which meant his brat had just run off on him. Great job. He'd really fucked that up, without even trying.

Returning to their room, he was relieved to see that housecleaning had been. They'd destroyed the fucking bed, both of them then passing out covered in filth. He didn't usually pass out like that, and had to admit he'd felt every single one of his years when he'd woken up. Toeing off his shoes, he crossed to the balcony. They'd left the doors open, as had the cleaner, probably thanks to the strong smell of sex. Even with the room being cleaned, it still hung in the air. Eren's sweetness setting his alpha on edge. It felt like someone had invaded their space, and violated their privacy. Which was completely ridiculous. He was being ridiculous.

Settling down on the balcony, he couldn't see his boyfriend down on the beach. He probably should be looking for him, but that risked another fight. It wasn't his fault he didn't know what he wanted to do. Maybe he should have just suggested the museums in the area? It wasn't particularly interesting to him, but it was something they hadn't done. He could have just faked a smile and ignored all the dust. Eren would have loved it. He would have asked a hundred questions about everything, getting excited as he asked him questions. Fuck... He'd royally fucked up. This shit was all Hanji's fault.

Calling Hanji, she answered on the third ring   
"This is all your fucking fault. Why the fuck do I listen to anything you say?"  
Hanji cackled  
"Oooh. What happened?! Are you hungover?! No, wait! Are you drunk?!"  
"No. I'm fucking sitting on the balcony of our room all alone, because I upset Eren and he'd run off somewhere"  
"Wait? What? Levi, what happened?"  
"We got drunk and fucked"  
Hanji let out a long sigh   
"Oh, and you know, Eren decided to tell me how much he loves me and wants to have pups with me"  
"Shouldn't you be happy? He absolutely adores you, and he wants a future with you"  
"He was drunk, and he doesn't remember a thing"  
"Are you sure?"  
"Positive. He said so. Now he's acting like it's not a big thing"  
"Maybe it isn't?"  
"Hanji, he freaks out over the smallest things. Sex is a big deal to him, and for him not to remember, I don't think he's dealing with this"  
"Or you're over thinking things"  
"Did you know he has nightmares about being raped? He told me this morning. So yeah. Thanks for that"  
"He has nightmares about that?"  
"Yeah. He said they're just nightmares he's had for years. What kind of fucked up life for him to be ok with that"  
"Levi, have you considered that maybe... maybe the reason he has these nightmares is because it happened to him?"  
"He said he hadn't been touched like that before..."  
"And he could have been lying. Or they might just be really bad nightmares. If Zeke was that controlling of him, and his heats, it may have been his fears of something happening spilling into his dreams. There must have been some trigger to cause them"  
"Yeah well. I fucked up..."  
"Were you too drunk for him to consent?"  
"I didn't think he was drunk enough to forget everything. If I'd just stopped to think"  
"Levi! Did he consent?"  
"Yes... but we were both drunk"  
"Look, if he consented..."  
"He doesn't remember everything. He probably doesn't even remember consenting"  
"And he wasn't freaking out. He knows you wouldn't do that without his consent. You both may have been drunk, but he opened up to you. He's in love with you, and the alcohol just let him relax and be himself"  
"It doesn't mean anything when he's drunk"  
"You are so fucking frustrating. Levi, he loves you and you love him. You're both crazy about each other, and Eren has proved time and time again that he trusts you, and only you. If he mentioned his nightmares to you, that's him showing once again that he trusts you and wants you to understand. Zeke taught him that he was dirty. That sex and touching was bad, but you're both working on that together... aren't you?"  
Pinching the bridge of his nose, he let out a sigh  
"Yes"  
"Then this is a good thing"  
"If he doesn't remember, isn't it just another form of rape"  
"No. No. No. Do not go there. You were both drunk and you're both crazy about each other. He told you he loves you. Try and believe in him a little more. If he's ok, then don't push it... unless that's why... Levi, don't tell me you got all angsty at him"  
"I do not get angsty. He got mad at me"  
"Eren wouldn't get mad at you without a good reason"  
"He said he wanted today to be about me. We scattered Zeke's ashes yesterday and he didn't say a thing. I take him out last night and we end up fucking. Now he's got it in his head that today we should do everything I want to do"  
"Awww. See. He loves you"  
"Yeah, well, I told him that I was happy doing whatever he wanted and he cracked the shits and stormed out of the hotel dining room. Because he wanted to do what I wanted, and I wanted to take him shopping. I don't understand it"  
"He just wants to show you he cares about the things you like"  
"I like making him fucking happy. He doesn't know anything about the fucking world"  
"Look, just go find him. Tell him that"  
"I did"  
"Then tell him again"  
"I can't tell him when I don't know where he's gone"  
"Look, I'll call him. Just stay where you are"  
"I'm in our room"  
"Then he'll be up there soon. I'm sure of it. Try not to get too depressed"  
"Right... thanks Hanji"  
"Did you just thank me?!"  
"Don't let it go to your head, and don't forget to call Eren"  
"I'm on it!"

He had to admit he felt better now he'd vented to Hanji. His actions didn't really sit right with him, but Hanji was right. Eren had told him he loved him. He'd climbed into his lap and decided for himself he wanted to have sex. But what if Eren had been abused... the thought of rape had crossed his mind, but he didn't want to believe it. He didn't want that for Eren. It was hard for a male omega. They were treated like absolute shit and he'd been treated so badly as it was. It just wasn't fair. He... he loved Eren. He fucking adored his omega. But even last night, he hadn't been able to tell him that. What if he did, and Eren freaked... fuck. There was way too much shit going on in his head. The first thing he needed was for Eren to come back.

It was a long half an hour wait before the bedroom door opened. Rising from the balcony chair, he caught Eren as he strode right over to him. Wrapping his arms around him, Eren nuzzled into his shoulder, his hold on Levi almost painful as Levi hugged him back  
"I'm sorry..."  
"Levi, I'm sorry..."  
Their words overlapped  
"You go first?"  
Eren sniffled, letting out a weird sob, before howling   
"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to upset! I just wanted to have fun with you and make you happy!"  
"Oh, brat. No. I was upset with me. Being with you makes me happy. I didn't mean to lose it. I was... worried about last night. I felt like I forced you into something"  
"No... no... Levi, no. I remembered more of it. I remember giving you my consent... I remember wanting you. I remembered while walking around being mad at you"  
"And you're ok?"  
"If it's you... I'm sorry... I just wanted to be with you, and do something with you. I didn't mean to make you sad or angry"  
"I'm worried about you"  
"I'm ok... I just wanted today to be special for you... because you made everything so perfect for me"  
"Then you need to listen to what I'm telling you. Being with you is what makes me happy. I don't know what to do or how to take a vacation, so when we do what you want to do, I am there with you because I want to be"  
"I just... wanted to be with you"  
"I know you do. I know. I didn't mean to upset you... where were you? Were you ok?"  
"I tried... walking past those shops, but it wasn't the same without you"  
Shit. His brat was adorable  
"Come here you"  
Lifting Eren by his arse, Eren wrapped his legs around his waist and let himself be carried over to their bed. Sitting down, he rubbed Eren's back   
"Are you really ok? With last night?"  
Eren nodded  
"I'm ok... my arse is still throbbing... but it's ok"  
"I didn't mean to over indulged"  
"I... liked it. I like you... I want to have sex with you, but when I'm in my own head I get so scared"  
"It's ok. As long as you're ok"  
Eren nodded against him, his face still hidden as he sniffled softly   
"It's not the same doing things on my own. I want to see everything with you and be by your side"  
Now would be the time to return Eren's confession of love. But the words wouldn't come out. Instead he nuzzled into Eren's neck   
"Ok... then what I want is to go shopping with you. Is that ok?"  
"And there's nothing else you'd rather do?"  
"There's nothing else I'd rather do, then be with you"


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helllllo!!  
> So, I need to super apologise for any mistakes you find... I'm on a new medication that leaves my head empty... like nothing happening in there all... so yell at me,  
> Scream at my mistakes   
> Xxxx

Arriving back in Shinganshima, Levi couldn't deny he wasn't glad to be back in familiar territory. As much as he loved being on holiday and having Eren all to himself, he missed his bed and his cat. Eren had had the mother of all panic attacks at the airport, lasting for the whole flight home. Upsetting himself so much he'd thrown up and fainted, and that was before they even got on the plane. Having to call Erwin to meet them at airport, he had his arms full of a very distressed Eren. He didn't even know what had trigger his boyfriend so badly. He'd been quiet while they packed, yet it wasn't until they reached the airport that the panic attack started. Though he did know that not all panic attacks were tears and being unable to breathe, and should have recognised the signs of Eren's panic before hand. His spaciness being sign number one. With Erwin there to take care of their bags, he was able to lift Eren into his hold. His poor omega had got vomit on his shirt and hoodie, and with their suitcase already checked, he hadn't had anything to change Eren into.

Letting Erwin get behind the steering wheel, Levi climbed into the back with Eren  
"Is he ok?"  
"Yeah. We had a little panic attack, but he'll be fine once we get home"  
"I stopped by your place and dropped Titan off this morning"  
"How was he?"  
"Not happy. He spent most of his time yelling at the front door"  
Reaching over the back of the seat, he snagged their suitcase. Cursing   
his short stature, he had to fight to get the stupid thing over  
"I need to get Eren out these clothes. Can you get the wipes out the glovebox?"  
"Do I want to ask?"  
"He vomited"  
"Ah"  
Eren was silent, exhausted and boneless as he stripped off his hoodie and shirt. His scent worse now he'd been stripped. Passing him back the wet wipes, he wiped down Eren's chest and arms. His boyfriend whining softly as he did. Once satisfied, he pulled one of his shirts over Eren's head, before getting his seatbelt on. Bundling up Eren's shirt and the wipes he'd use, he was careful to make sure it wasn't touching the rest of his car   
"All good?"  
"Yeah. Thanks. He should be alright now"  
Letting Eren lean against him, he kept his arm around the omega's shoulders. 

Erwin waited until they'd left airport parking before breaking the silence. Eren had fallen asleep against him  
"How was the trip?"  
"Good"  
"And Eren?"  
"He loved it"  
Erwin laughed  
"You're as talkative as ever"  
"Then what do you want to hear about?"  
"I heard you went swimming, and you're rocking a set of aviators. Are you really you?"  
He'd forgotten about the stupid things, having gotten used to them  
"That was Eren's idea. The swimming too. He can't swim, so there was no way I was letting him go in alone"  
"How'd he go with Zeke's ashes?"  
"Scattered. He's not coming back"  
"I'd be pretty worried if he did"  
"I wouldn't put it past him. He's still so far into Eren's fucking head that it's infuriating"  
"He seemed to be doing better"  
"He was. He managed the flight over pretty intact, but he completely spooked when we got to the airport this afternoon"   
If he hadn't had his phone with him, he would have been completely fucked  
"Then it's probably a good thing Titan's waiting for you at home"  
"Yeah. Eren's missed him. I've caught him feeling around the bed a few times looking for him"  
"He's a good kid"  
"He's a shitty brat"  
"And he's got you completely whipped"  
"Like you didn't know it already"  
"How did your talk go? Did you tell him?"  
"Yeah"  
"And?"  
"And what?"  
"How did he take it?"  
"If you're asking if he freaked out, he didn't"  
No. Eren had just stayed in his lap until they finally ordered food. After that, he'd made good on his offer for a massage... which Levi was glad he was laying face down for because Eren had magical hands... that managed to make him within seconds  
"What did he say?"  
"He was understanding"  
"That's good"  
"Yeah. This morning he dragged me down to the beach to collect two more shells. He said it was for Farlan and Isabel who never got to see the ocean"  
"He really is a good kid"  
"He is"  
Rubbing Eren's arm, he kissed his boyfriend mop of brown hair   
"Sooo, Hanji said you went drinking and dancing with him..."  
"Hanji says a lot"  
"She's just happy that you two are doing so well. I'm sure she's already planning your wedding"  
"Ha-fucking-ha"  
"I'm serious. I saw her last night, she was going on about how you two had some fight, and in her words "how adorable it was""  
"It wasn't adorable. Eren wanted to do something for me"  
"Doesn't he realise you don't ever go on holiday? Even on our days off, you're always cleaning that apartment of yours"  
"Not always"  
"Please. That place is spotless"  
"There is nothing wrong with living in a clean environment. You could learn a thing or two"  
"I think I prefer my place. It actually feels lived in"  
"Things have changed since Eren moved in"  
"I noticed. His room's a mess. I was surprised he'd leave it that way"  
He couldn't remember Eren's room being a mess, but his boyfriend had been stressing before they'd left...  
"He doesn't usually leave his room a mess... unless Titan was in there"  
"I don't think he's to blame"  
"Whatever. The whole place is going to need to be cleaned from top to bottom. I don't even want to think about how much dust has accumulated"  
Erwin laughed, letting things finally drop and allowing him to turn all his attention to Eren.

Erwin brought their bags up as Levi carried his still sleeping boyfriend. Eren had stirred briefly when Erwin had helped get him out the back of the car. His sleepy voice had mumbled Levi's name, before falling back to sleep. It felt to Levi like Eren was running a fever, probably from the amount of stress his panic attack had placed on his body. Letting them into his apartment, Erwin made sure Titan didn't escape as Levi carried Eren through to his bed. Laying his boyfriend down, he undid his shoes for him, leaving his socks on. He barely had Eren settled when Titan came flying in with a loud yowl. The fat feline immediately climbing onto Eren's chest   
"I see how it is. Didn't miss me, but missed him"  
Titan raised his head, Levi reaching down and scratching between his ears. It was the longest he'd been away from the tom since he'd got him, and he had to admit he'd fucking missed the fat little shit  
"Keep an eye on him for me. He's had a rough afternoon"  
Titan didn't care, he wasn't impressed when the scratches stopped, but was soon curled up on Eren completely.

Heading back into the living area, Erwin had made himself at home on the sofa  
"What's it like to be back?"  
"A pain the fucking neck. I need to unpack. Where'd you dump Eren's clothes?"  
"Laundry"  
"Everything will be need to be washed anyway..."  
"Nice to see being away hasn't changed you"  
"It was only a week. You're making it sound like we flew to Marley and left you behind for a year"  
"It felt like it. We had a homicide while you were gone. Victim died en-route. Bled out faster than we could get fluids in"  
He hadn't missed the death at all. Or being covered in a strangers blood  
"Fuck"  
"Pretty much"  
"Are you staying? Do you want a beer?"  
"I wouldn't say no to one, but I'm rostered on tonight"  
"Do you want to crash here? You can use Eren's bed, his sheets need washing anyway"  
"Actually... that would be great. I'll need to let Eld know to pick me up from here"  
"Eld?"  
"Gunther got stuck training the new guy"  
"We have a new guy?"  
"Yeah. No idea how he's going to fit in, but orders from above and all that"  
"What's he like?"  
"He doesn't seem all that bad. A bit on the shy side"  
"He's going to have to get over that real quick"  
There was no time for being shy when someone was bleeding to death in front of you   
"Yeah. Gunther's got it covered. Anyway, I'm going to crash"  
"Right. I'll try not to be too loud"  
"We both know you'll have that vacuum cleaner out before I have the chance to fall asleep"  
"Arsehole"  
"Missed you too"

Giving Erwin half an hour to fall asleep, Levi retrieved his laptop and headed into the kitchen. They hadn't left much in the fridge, and what was left looked as sad as it did when they'd looked. Logging into his laptop, he first checked his bank account, frowning at the large chunk of funds missing. With a few minutes of scrolling, he winced, mentally adding up the cost from their little strip to the club... how they'd be blown through $500 worth of alcohol between the two of them, he had no idea. But it definitely explained a few things. With flights, accommodation, food and shopping, their small holiday had set him back nearly $6000... fuck. It wasn't like his bank account wasn't healthy. His personal funds always staying above the $30,000 mark... but fuck... he had not been expecting that. It wasn't like they'd even brought that much. Most of it had been on food, as he wanted Eren to try everything he could. Depressed over his account, he logged out, before typing in the URL of his usual go to grocery store. They pretty much needed everything...

When the food situation was taken care of, it was finally time to clean. Closing Titan in with Eren, he started by dusting. He didn't understand why anyone would do the floors first. The dust fell to the floor. If he did the floors, then dusted, he'd have to do the floors again. Cleaning every available surface he could without disturbing everyone else, he'd only just finished mopping the floors when the door to his room opened   
"Careful, I just did the floors"  
Eren didn't hear him, darting into the bathroom, his boyfriend slammed the door behind him. Eren was probably too sleepy to realised he'd pulled too hard, but it didn't stop him cringing at the sound.

Sitting on his sofa, Levi was trying to look busy while he waited for Eren to reappear from the bathroom. He didn't want to see overbearing, and didn't want to be the kind of alpha that monitored every aspect of Eren's life. He and his alpha were just worried due to Eren's earlier panic attack. Playing on his laptop, he'd uploaded the photos he had of their trip, flicking through them in half interest... which admittedly was way less than half.

When Eren emerged from the toilet, his boyfriend silently walked over to him and dropped down. Wrapping his arms around him, Eren sighed softly   
"Have a good sleep?"  
Nodding, Eren headbutted him light. Kissing the omega on top of his head, he placed his laptop down, earning a whine as Eren was jostled in the process   
"Are you hungry? We don't have much, but we can order in"  
"N-no"  
"Ok. How do you feel?"  
"Sick"  
"You do feel warm"  
"I smell something too"  
"Erwin's here. He looked after Titan for a few days. He's got work so I told him he could sleep in your room, I hope you don't mind. The sheets need to be washed"  
"It's fine... as long as he doesn't mess it up"  
Too late for that... time for another tiny white lie  
"The sheets need to be cleaned and there's probably some mess left from packing. I'll take care of it later"  
"I don't remember it being messy... I don't want to think"  
"Do you want to talk about what happened? You were quiet before we left Paradis, then you had a meltdown at the airport"  
Eren sighed   
"I thought I saw someone I knew"  
"Someone you knew?"  
Eren didn't know that many people, though there had been those idiot alphas  
"Yeah. He's Zeke's friend... and everything just kind of hit me all over again"  
Eren was holding back. He could tell by the way his boyfriend started picking at the hem of his shirt...  
"I guess I made a fool of myself"  
"I wouldn't go that far"  
"I would... my stomach feels gross"  
Rubbing Eren's stomach, he hated the feelings it brought. He just wanted to provide comfort, yet his alpha surged with the hope of their omega being pregnant. Eren definitely wasn't. Still... he could almost imaging if he was. The firm swell beneath his hand, while their pup grew inside him. It was only made worse when Eren started to purr. He'd never wanted kids until Eren had come into his life, and to know Eren wanted them too drove his alpha crazy. It didn't understand why Eren needed to be on contraceptives, not when they both wanted pups. 

Levi was still rubbing his boyfriend's stomach when Erwin finally appeared. With a loud yawn, his friend stumbled out the bedroom   
"Oh, hey Eren. How was your holiday?"  
Eren let out a yawn of his own as he nodded  
"Really good"  
"That's great. Levi wasn't too much to handle?"  
"No... he was really considerate. He made sure everything was perfect"  
"That's good to hear. I'm going to grab a shower"  
"Use the white towels"  
"I know"

With the brief exchange over, Eren sighed heavily. He didn't like the way it sounded, as it sounded to him like Eren had the weight of the world on his shoulders  
"What's wrong?"  
"I was just thinking about Zeke"  
"What about him?"  
"I... just. I don't even have a photo of him. Now that he's gone, I'm scared I'm going to forget him"  
"You're not going to forget him"  
"How do you know that?"  
Other than the fact he'd abused the fuck out of him...  
"Because he is important to you"  
"I'm still worried that I'm going to wake up one day and forget what he looked like. Or what he smelt like... like I did with my mum"  
"You won't..."  
Eren interrupted him with a trembling voice   
"The only reason I remember her is because of my nightmares..."  
"Eren, I'm sure wherever she is, she's looking over you"  
"I know... I mean, I don't know if I believe in all of that, but it would have been nice to have a photo or something. You know?"  
"I do... I'm sorry. I don't even know how to go about tracking one down for you"  
"It's ok. I didn't mean to be annoying"  
"You're not annoying"  
"I don't want to forget anymore"  
"It's alright. What do you want to do?"  
"This is nice... can we stay like this?"  
"Sure. Whatever you need"

 

*  
It felt like the few day Levi had off flew by. Over before Eren was ready to let Levi return to work. The last two weeks had been a dreams, the few days home spent cuddling on the sofa while Levi showed him how to create his own Facebook page, then how to upload the photos from his phone. He wasn't sure if he completely got how the photos stayed up, but it was nice to know the only copy wasn't on his phone anymore. Making the top picture thing a photo of the ocean, he made his main picture thingy a photo of him and Levi kissing. Levi then showed him to set it up to say they were in a relationship together. It felt like he was bragging to the world that Levi was his, and it felt really fucking good. Levi also sent friend requests to all his friends... then to Marco. Marco's page was full of photos of him and Mina. The omega accepting his friend request the moment it was sent, though Eren didn't feel like talking to him. He still didn't know what to say to him. He'd wanted to enjoy his holiday with Levi, and hadn't messaged him. Scrolling through the photos of Mina, Eren couldn't help but be jealous. When was it going to be his turn? He and Levi really hadn't sat down and had the kids talk. With little Mina's birth and Hanji being pregnant. His omega was a jealous dick... he'd presented over 12 years ago, and though still very young at 20, he wanted a future with Levi. He wanted everything with Levi. To bonded, to be married and to have his children... outside of just Titan. He loved the fat, fluffy fur baby, but he wanted more. Even if it was selfish.

Another few days passed and he finally felt like tackling the mess that was his bedroom. In his head, he'd some how built it up to be a bigger task than it really was. His clothes were the main issue... it was mostly just the need to refold clothes from the bottom of his wardrobe, he folded everything and neatly stacked it on the pile already in there. Sighing for the hundredth time that day, he was seriously considering going back to bed in Levi's room, but was too restless. There was no point. He couldn't sleep or sit still, because he felt gross... He also missed Levi too much to stay still during the day, and as comfortable as his boyfriend's bed was, he felt lazy. Especially when Levi was working his usual 12 hour shifts. Their holiday must have cost a lot... and he missed working. He missed making money that was his. Maybe it was time to talk to Levi about finding him a new job? He'd like to continue dancing, even stripping, but Levi got jealous at the thought of other alphas touching him. If it was just dancing, he should be ok with it. Eyeing his wardrobe in annoyance, he didn't remember leaving it so messed up. Even with Titan unsupervised in their apartment, and the very tiny chance that he may have left the wardrobe open, it just shouldn't have been a messy as it was. The fat cat had a habit of moving his clothes around to make himself a more comfortable bed, or just to be a shit. He hadn't believed it until he'd seen him dragging a shirt across the living room floor... The omega sighed to himself again. As hard as he tried, he definitely didn't remember leaving his clothes across the floor or his wardrobe open.

Deciding the best course of action was to chuck everything from the floor with fur on it into the washing machine, he gathered it up to sort it into lights and darks, throwing it all down on his bed as it was still unmade from being stripped down after Erwin's nap. Sleeping in Levi's bed meant his sheets weren't as important. When the messy pile landed on Titan, Titan shot off the bed and across the room with an unhappy glance back, before pausing to lick his side, glaring at him then running off. Since they'd returned Titan had been by his side constantly. Whether it be showering or making dinner for Levi, the fat cat was right there with him. Though being a cat, his presence was soothing, Eren felt less lonely with Titan there as the fur baby always wanted cuddles, and he always snuggled into him when he wasn't feeling that great. He honestly hadn't been feeling all that well since they'd come home. He didn't tell Levi he'd thrown up a few times, not when his boyfriend had to deal with all that sort of stuff at work.

Hearing his phone chime, he grabbed his phone off his bed, tired of looking at his clothes already. Sitting down on the edge, he frowned at the message request from an unfamiliar name. Armin... he didn't know anyone called Armin. Not that he could remember. His phone pinged again, causing his frown to deepen. Unlocking the device, he opened up messenger. The only people he'd talked to were Levi and Hanji, so it wasn't exactly hard to find the new messages from Armin. Opening them, his eyes widened   
Armin Arlert : "Hey, are you really Eren Yeager? Son of Carla and Grisha? Your dad was a doctor?"  
The next message was a photo of three kids. An unsmiling girl, a blonde boy with a kind of weird hair cut and a boy with bright green eyes and messy hair  
Armin Arlert : "Is this you?"  
He didn't know what to say. He didn't remember a lot of his childhood. Or any of the happy times from it. And now some stranger seemed to know him... he didn't want to remember his past. He didn't want to talk to people who knew him back then, because they probably knew too much. Or it could be some kind of joke? A picture from the internet? It had to be  
Armin Arlert : "Please. I had a friend by this name who went missing"

He already knew from the first message that Armin was talking about him. But he didn't know this person! He didn't want to talk to them. He and Zeke had been so fucking careful to make sure no one could find them... what if it was someone connected to the people who'd kept him chained up like an animal?! Zeke... Zeke had taken care of it all. He'd hurt the ones who'd hurt him... but if they had family... family who knew and who'd found him... fuck... he couldn't fucking breathe. He couldn't remember how to calm down... he... he didn't want to go back there. He wanted to stay with Levi. He wasn't this person Armin wanted to know about. He wasn't the smiling kid in that photo, with those two strangers. His childish innocence had been taken from him... they'd been fucking kids, which was a whole lifetime ago. Back before everything went bad... he didn't want to remember...

 

*  
Levi came home to a silent apartment with the lights off. It wasn't exactly what he'd expected. Eren usually stayed up to wait for him, or at least left the light on for him to come home to. Checking his bed, he found it devoid of his boyfriend. His heart sank. Eren loved sleeping with him. He wouldn't be sleeping alone in his room, especially when he hadn't been feeling well. It'd started the afternoon they'd gotten back, and his boyfriend hadn't bounced back since. After an exhausting shift, he'd been looking forward to cuddling up with Eren.

Eren's door was unlocked, flicking the light on, he didn't immediately catch sight of Eren. If not for the wardrobe door being slightly ajar, he would have missed him completely. Walking over as quietly as he could, he pulled both doors open, revealing his boyfriend inside. His heart began to race as his stomach dropped. Blood clung to Eren's fingers, the scent as nauseating as the scratch marks on the back of the wardrobe. His boyfriend must have panicked, retreated into his wardrobe and in his panic, he'd clawed trying to escape. This wasn't what he wanted to be dealing with... he hated when Eren would hurt himself without realising it. Eren always felt so guilty over it. His mental health had definitely gotten better than it had been. His ill state probably feeding on his paranoid mind, making his depression and anxieties even worse. Lifting Eren up, his lover was drenched in a sick sweat, so warm to the touch that Levi could feel the fever without touching his forehead. This had gone on for far too long. He'd thought with rest and proper food that Eren would feel better... not worse. After all, they had been back for a week and a half now. The big sign that Eren wasn't feeling well was all the half done jobs around the place. Like putting the dishes in the dishwasher, but then forgetting to turn them on. Or moving their washing from the washing machine to the dryer. Or, the fact he hadn't cleaned his room until now. Kissing Eren's damp hair, he cursed himself for not making him that doctor's appointment he'd wanted to, even if it meant forcing him to go. It wasn't exactly an emergency, as defined by the hospital or emergency services, but there was no fucking was he wasn't taking Eren to he hospital to be checked over by Hanji.

Eren was still unconscious when they reached the hospital. His hands a mess and his nails chipped from his attempts to escape. Carefully carrying Eren into the Emergency Department waiting room, he looked to Nabana. At least with her, he wouldn't have to listen to Eren being called "brat". That was his name for his omega, and when Olou had started copying, he'd honestly wanted to throat punch the man. Despite the small handful of people already waiting, Nabana sprang into action and Hanji was waving them through before he even had a chance to talk to with the intake nurse.

"Oh my gosh! What happened?"  
Following Hanji through to a bed in the hallway, he already knew it was busy night. They'd brought in 8 patients over the course of their 12 hour shift, and that was just him and Erwin   
"I don't know. I can home and he'd shut himself in his wardrobe. By the look of it, he's had a panic attack and tried to claw his way out after shutting himself in"  
Picking up Eren's right hand, Hanji squeezed it softly   
"I thought his attacks were getting better?"  
"They have been. This was the first one since we came back, so in what, a week? He hasn't been feeling too well since we came home, but I didn't make him a fucking doctors appointment"  
His tone was bitter. It was his fault Eren was now sick   
"Levi"  
"No. I knew he was sick. Now he's burning up with a fucking fever and fucked up his hands!"  
"Ok, I'm going to have to ask you to tone it down a little, we do have other patients"  
Feeling like a dick, he mumbled  
"Sorry"  
"That's a good start. I'm going to take his temperature, then I'll need to take some blood so we can find out what's going on here. I don't think he's up for a urine test"  
"You don't need to explain it all"  
"Maybe I'm explaining it to myself? You're not the only one worried for my honey here"  
"Right..."  
"Levi, I know you're worried, but we'll figure this out. Just stay still and hold his hand"

With the ER full, Levi stayed standing in the hallway with Eren. His omega still unconscious, but Hanji had given him a shot for the fever, and IV bag of saline was now hooked up. Eren's hands had been gently cleaned, the omega had done a horribly impressive job trying to escape his self imposed prison of the wardrobe. He knew when Eren first moved in, he'd liked to sleep in the wardrobe because it was a small enclosed space he could "control", it'd been... he thought Eren was past hiding it, and had no idea why his boyfriend would be. Now days, Eren hiding usually meant he was in their bed with Titan. Or sitting on their balcony, on his yoga mat, staring up at the sky.

With so many patients to see, Hanji took what felt like forever to return. Eren's pale face had regained a little of its colour, but his eyes still looked somewhat sunken. It was his job to make sure his boyfriend was safe and warm and comfortable and not ending up in the shitty hospital again  
"Levi, you're glaring at him"  
"I'm not glaring at him. What do his labs say?"  
"Gastro, and stress, well the stress bit is my diagnosis. All his vitamin levels are down and his hormones all over the place, it's a real mess"  
Gastro. How the fuck did Eren have gastro?! Gastro was generally contagious as fuck, and he didn't have... stress was much more likely than gastro...  
"I'm going to give him a vitamin shot to help things along... but with his hormones... I'm not quite sure what to do. Usually we'd use a suppressant to force the body to even out the hormones, but Eren can't take suppressants... he's probably going to be moody, and upset, like a post heat depression. I honestly won't be surprised if he does go into heat, from looking at the levels"  
"The last thing he needs is a fucking heat"  
"I know. I'm just telling you what the numbers are telling me. Anyway, once he's had his shot and that IV bag is empty, he'll be fine to go home. Anyone else and I'd make them stay, but I know you'll monitor him closely and expect him back here if his fever spikes again. I know you've only just gone back to work, but is there any chance of getting time off?"  
"None. We're getting another new recruit soon, so things are a shitty mess. You've met the new kid. He's too fucking shy to make it. It'd be alright if our boss could actually give us notice about everything happening. Not just dropping the news and fucking off"  
Hanji laughed   
"Your tiredness is showing"  
"My sentence structure is still better than yours. I'm going to have figure out something. I can't get time off work, and if I go into another rut, I may just end up losing my job"  
"They can't fire you over something like that"  
"Hanji, I've had 5 ruts, all caused by Eren. Despite working in the medical field, no, because we work in the medical field, they can't afford to have anyone out there who isn't focused on work"  
"But Eren can't help his heats, and I know you've tried different suppressants"  
"It doesn't matter to them..."  
"What a load of crap"  
Yeah. But what were they supposed to do? Eren was mentally unwell, he couldn't help it, but they needed reliable people in the field   
"Pretty much"  
"Do you want me to take him instead?"  
That was big fat no. Eren would get the wrong idea, he'd think Levi was dumping him off when he got too hard to handle. Hanji wouldn't listen to him if he said so, she didn't really get how Eren operated  
"Hanji, you're pregnant. Gastro is the last thing you need. I promised him I'd take care of him, so I'll find a way to make this work"  
"You don't need to try to do everything on your own. You're wonderful with Eren, everyone knows that. But you have this magical thing called friends. We want to help you guys out"  
Hanji might be right, but it still wounded his alpha's pride to hear it. She made it sound like though he was good with his brat, he wasn't everything he really needed to be  
"Look, if I get stuck, I'll give you a call. For now, I just want to take him before he wakes up"  
"Fiiiine. But you're bringing him around for dinner once all this clears. I want to hear all about your holiday from him"  
"You saw the photos. You spammed him over it"  
"That's because it looked amazing. He looked so happy and he's just so damn cute"  
Levi huffed. He was the only one who was supposed to be calling Eren cute. No other alpha would be stupid enough to do so in front of him  
"Awww. Stop pouting. You do know, that's it's entirely my fault that you two are together now"  
"Hanji, go get that shot before I have to do it myself"  
Giving him a mock salute, Hanji cackled like a moron, before leaving to retrieve Eren's vitamin shot. He still doubted gastro was to blame, yet he couldn't figure what had stressed Eren so much that things had ended up like this.

 

*  
Eren woke up shortly before he was due to return to work, Levi having barely slept as he'd kept a close eye on Eren. He'd only just taken a shower and settled down on the sofa, about to finally check his phone for the day given he'd been slightly distracted... Padding softly across the living room, Eren dropped into lap with a sniffle. Wrapping his arms around Eren's waist, his omega felt much cooler than he had before, his scent much more even and closer to his usual sweet scent. Kissing Eren's cheek, he sighed softly   
"Why didn't you tell me you were sick? You collapsed in your room"  
It wasn't completely true, he hadn't technically collapsed, but Eren had passed out. Climbing from his lap, Levi wondered if he should have worded that softer. His relief sounded more like agitation, and now he feared he'd upset his boyfriend. Whatever Eren was doing, it took him a few moments before he returned and crawled back into Levi's lap with a soft whine. Gathering him up again, Levi peered past Eren's arm, trying to watch what he was doing. Completely ignoring him, the omega tapped away awkwardly on his phone with his bandaged hands, before shoving it into his hand when he was done. Hiding his face against Levi's neck with a small whine, Eren nuzzled into him while Levi tried to figure out what he was looking at. Eren had opened his messenger app, his name and Hanji falling beneath an unknown name. Thumbing open the message, he scrolled through the half dozen messages there. Whoever this "Armin Arlert" was, he didn't seem to be able to stop messaging Eren... because he fucking knew him when they were kids? Scrolling through, he felt of growl of almost jealousy slip through his lips. Eren had been scared about his past, and here was someone who'd actually known him. Someone who could give him answers to some of the questions the kid had to have. So why was Eren so upset over it all? The stranger seemed keen to meet up and see him, or for any kind of message from Eren. He'd already sent through a photo of what he assumed to be the man, with a much younger Eren. He'd know that messy brown hair and wide green eyes anywhere  
"So you two used to be friends?"  
"I don't remember"  
Ooooookay...  
"Then do you want to meet him? He seems pretty keen to meet you"  
"N-no... I... don't want to talk to him"  
Levi was pretty sure Eren was going to end up regretting not meeting with Armin. Armin had said he things to return to Eren. Meaning it was entirely possible Armin had photos of Eren and his mother. Eren just wasn't seeing the bigger picture. There was obviously a lot he was scared of forgetting, just as much as he wanted to. This was a chance for Eren to get back a small part of his life stolen from him  
"Are you sure? He could have..."  
"I don't want to see him! What would I even say? You knew me when I lived with my abusive father? Before I was turned into this because of him, because he got mum dead?! How could you take his side like that?!"  
"I'm not taking anyone's side"  
"I told you because I don't know how to tell him to leave me the fuck alone! I don't fucking know him! Even if we were friends once, he has no fucking right to be messaging me! I don't want to remember! None of it! Just mum... and I'll ever remember of her, is her being murdered! I'm so fucking mad at you! I thought I could trust you"

Trying to crawl off his lap, Levi held his angry boyfriend with all his strength   
"Let me go!"  
"Just wait"  
"No! I don't want to talk to you"  
"Eren! Calm down! Look, I didn't mean to sound like I wasn't on your side. I just... look. Hey, you know I'm on your side. I just thought he might have photos or something of your mum. Something you could hold of hers"  
Eren growled at him, sounding very much like an angry alpha   
"Zeke was so fucking careful to make sure no one ever found us! And I've ruined it all"  
"Eren, Zeke is gone. Ok. He's gone and he's not coming back. You have to live your own life now, how you want. You haven't ruined anything at all. And you do not have to talk to Armin, I just thought it would be nice. I know if someone had things that might belong to Farlan and Isabel, I would like them back, rather than whatever it was ending up in the rubbish"  
Eren growled at him again, but stopped fighting   
"I'm sorry, ok?"

Eren took a deep breath, he thought his boyfriend was going to yell again, but instead shook his head   
"I don't want to talk about it... tell me why my hands are bandaged and I could smell Hanji when I woke up"  
"About that. You went on a little trip today"  
"What does that mean?"  
"I'm guessing talking to Armin triggered you pretty badly. I found you in your wardrobe"  
"That makes sense... so hospital?"  
"Yeah. You were unconscious and burning with a fever. You banged up your hands pretty bad"  
"Hospital?"  
"Yep. Hanji said gastro and stress"  
Eren sighed, flopping against him completely   
"No wonder I've felt so shit"  
"I'm not mad, but why didn't you tell me you were sick?"  
"You've been busy, and I want our time together to be restful for you"  
"How can I rest when you didn't even tell me you were sick?"  
"It was just a fever and vomiting, and my head's been a little mixed up..."  
How could his boyfriend just sit there and make sound like it wasn't a big deal at all?!  
"Eren, I wish you'd told me"  
"I thought I'd be ok... you worry so much, and all I do is nothing"  
"That's not..."  
"It is true... I miss working Levi. I miss making my own money and paying for things... I miss it. I didn't want to make you worry, because you have so much to worry about as it is. You do everything here, the least I can do is stay out the way"  
"No. You're my boyfriend and I want you here with me. If you want to start working again, we can look into it. You just have to talk to me"  
Eren sighed again, his hand finding Levi's and tugging on it until they were holding hands properly   
"Thank you"  
"I don't know if I did anything"  
"I don't know either, but I felt like I should thank you... I'm sorry for getting cranky. I really don't feel well. How long do we have until you have to go to work?"  
"A little while, about an hour or so. I've made you some clear vegetable soup, which shouldn't be too heavy to eat. What do you need right now?"  
Eren nuzzled into his cheek, despite the kid being covered in sweat, Levi didn't mind the contact. Not when his boyfriend was so adorable  
"Will you rub my stomach again? It felt nice before"  
He was expecting Eren to say a "shower"... but he could definitely give Eren "pats" and let him cling all he wanted. If he could blow off work, he totally would  
"Sure, is there anything else you want?"  
"N-no... but can you um... get rid of Armin's messages? I don't know how"  
"I'll take care of it. Don't worry about a thing"  
"Thank you"


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nearly dropped 33 instead of 32... I was going to have one super long chapter... but ya'll got a shot one instead. I'm sorry...

Soooo. Taking care of things with Armin for Eren, might not have been exactly the way his boyfriend had in mind. He'd blocked Armin on Eren's account and deleted his messages, after sending himself that photo of Eren as a kid... before messaging the alpha himself. Without trying to divulge too much about his boyfriend's life, he explained who he was and who he was to Eren, and that he would like to meet with Armin to hear him out. Eren would be furious, but the idea of getting his boyfriend something of his mother's... he couldn't turn down the chance. With his work schedule it'd been two weeks since he'd contacted Armin before he could finally set a time meet with the man. Eren was Christmas shopping and decorating with Hanji, which gave him pretty much the whole day to meet with Armin, then do a little shopping for Eren. He'd tried to ask Eren what he wanted for Christmas in every way possible, that wasn't straight out asking him. The only problem with this was the fact Eren was adorably dense about it all. He'd casually asked Eren what he thought of a toaster he'd in some junk mail catalogue, Eren had then asked him why they needed a new one when the one they had worked just fine. His brat was perfect like that, he just needed him to not be quite so perfect.

Walking into the small cafe, he was still dressed for work having come straight off his shift. His safety boots, and thick paramedic jacket completely out of place with the hipsters in their ugg boots and beanies. This definitely wasn't the kind of place he'd ever set foot in alone. His fingers itched to clean everything on sight and to give the damned "distressed" furnishings a proper coat of paint. A glance up the menu above the counter confirmed he never wanted wanted to set foot in here again. What the fuck was a beetroot latte? Why did people feel the need to fuck with classics?! It did his fucking head in. Casting a second glance around, he didn't see Armin. The blonde man hadn't arrived, which mean awkward sitting in this hell hole as he waited for him. Fuck. They better make a good cup of tea, or someone was definitely going to require medical attention.

Served by a cashier who couldn't comprehend that he wanted a large black tea. Which was just tea. With no milk or sugar or anything fancy. And no, he didn't want a fucking environmentally friendly cookie shaped like a fucking reindeer... but he bought two for Eren, because Eren would have found them cute. He wasn't impressed at all as he took the first seat he could find that didn't look too hippy-ee. For a generation that was all about free will and complicated fucking names, they certainly loved shoving their own suggestions down people's throats. 

Nursing his tea, Levi would almost rather be at work than sitting in the cafe... even if December was the worst month for them. Other than people falling off their roofs while decorating, December had the highest rates of suicides. The month had only just begun and they'd already been called out to three... it was why he hated December, that and because of his birthday. Being born on Christmas Day meant his presents were always combined with his birthday... no one thinking that maybe two smaller presents would be better than one large combined one.

Armin left him waiting for half an hour. It was easy to tell who he was the moment he walked through the door. The large box in his arms had "Eren" printed neatly on the side. Rising to his feet, his frown deepened when a black haired woman followed the tall alpha in. Armin hadn't said he was bringing anyone with him... and even if the logical jump was that the woman with him was the same girl from the photo, it still would have been polite to give him a heads up. Catching sight of him, Armin walked straight over   
"Levi?! It's nice to finally meet you. I'm sorry about the coffee shop, I just had no idea where would be best to meet"  
"It's fine. Why don't we take a seat?"  
Sitting and making sure the cookies were safe, Armin slipped into the seat opposite from him, the woman pulling a chair over from another table. Sitting down, she scowled openly at him, as if he'd done something wrong   
"Mikasa, you're being rude"  
"I am not. I haven't even said anything"  
"You're glaring at Levi..."  
"Stop acting like you two are friends"  
She definitely did not like him, at all  
"You, Levi. Where is Eren?"  
"Mikasa!"  
"Eren was like a brother to me, it's been 9 years since we heard anything about him!"  
"Eren was like a brother to me too, and Levi is his boyfriend. Levi, I'm sorry. I'm sure you must understand how hard it's been. Eren was a huge part of our childhood before he disappeared. Finding him again, I didn't mean to upset him. I was just so, so very relieved to finally find him"  
Oh great. The pair of them were already grating on his nerves. Armin seemed desperate to reconnect with Eren. Eren was desperate not to reconnect with him, and Levi was just desperate to get his hands on whatever was inside the box, and then get the fuck out.

 

*  
Eren had no idea the headache Levi was suffering, instead he was Christmas shopping with Hanji. He'd already been warned that due to an incident between Titan, a Christmas tree and a set of lights... leading to a teeny tiny, slight electrocution, they couldn't have a Christmas tree in the apartment. Something he'd chosen to ignore. They could have a tree, but they didn't have to have lights... he liked lights though. Sometimes he'd see them through the windows while he walked to work. Then, on Christmas Day, he and Zeke woukd spend Christmas together. They'd watch bad movie, while cuddled on the sofa with popcorn. Zeke would give him some kind of practical gift, while Eren would give him money for something he wanted for himself, he'd always show him what he'd decided to buy the moment he got home after buying it. Eren wouldn't gift Reiner or Bertholdt anything, as they knew better than to give him anything either, Zeke wouldn't allow it.

With Hanji pushing the shopping trolley, Eren had a partner in crime. One white Christmas tree, with shatter proof baubles and tinsel, took up nearly all the room, but he was ok with that. Christmas with his boyfriend was going to be different, especially since Hanji said they would be spending most of the day at her house for her familiar Christmas party. It wasn't that he didn't want to spend time with Hanji, Moblit and Erwin, he'd just planned something special for him and Levi. These plans had been completely crushed when Hanji had even informed him of the fact that Levi's birthday was Christmas Day, something his boyfriend had neglected to inform him about, so instead of stressing over one present, he was now stressing over two. Hanji had insisted he was fine just combining Christmas with Levi's birthday, but to Eren, it definitely wasn't fine. He wanted to celebrate both Christmas and his boyfriend's birthday with him. As two seperate events, on the same day. He knew exactly what he wanted to do with Levi, he just needed to find exactly what he was looking for, and thankfully Hanji needed frequent bathroom breaks... otherwise he would have died of embarrassment over picking out the right Christmas outfit. Hanji might be wise about many things, but no way in hell did she need to know he was picking lingerie out. He didn't even know if Levi would like it... he just... he wanted to be intimate with Levi again. He'd talked to Krista about it, and she'd said if it was something he wanted, and he was in the right mental state, then he should go for it. Of course she'd been much more delicate in her word choice, and she'd given a him a table looking thing to record his panic attacks on. He was kind of proud to say it'd been 10 days since he'd had a panic attack, and the last one Levi had calmed before it had even got all that severe. So, really, he hadn't had a major panic attack since hearing from Armin, and Levi had dealt with him. To him, it meant that maybe being intimate with Levi wasn't that far out of his reach.

Even though she was pregnant, Hanji was still up for a little mischief. He hadn't been feeling too happy with the insane crowds in the shopping centre, yet he was having fun watching Hanji acting more like an omega than alpha, clinging close to his side and crying over everything adorable. Pregnancy really agreed with her. Her bump smaller than Marco's had been at the same time along in his pregnancy, but she'd assured him everything was ok, before starting to ramble about the few times she and Marco had met up a coffee without him... Hanji had talked about it like he'd known about it, but Marco had said nothing to him. At all. No invite. Nothing ... he was definitely on the outer circle now of the "mummy club" he definitely wasn't part of. Everyone had their own lives, and all he had was Levi. No. That wasn't the right way to say it... he was grateful to Levi, and he loved him, so it didn't matter that the only person he went out with these days was Levi... he'd thought he'd be spending the day in bed, because Levi was busy today with staff training after his shift, so Hanji had sprung all of this on him when she'd broken into their apartment this morning. He'd been wondering how he was going to find a gift for Levi when he was always with his alpha, so he just had to keep it all together for a little longer, than he could back home and surprise Levi with the Christmas tree.

Levi was a practical alpha. Almost everything he owned had some kind of practical purpose, so Eren wanted to find something that wouldn't be practical. Something the alpha wouldn't buy for himself. He'd thought about buying his alpha a blanket for his ruts, something he could smother his scent in, to ease Levi's pain... but that might have been too cheesy, besides, there were plenty of blankets in their apartment that smelt like him. He wanted something that would remind Levi of him, without being too possessive or overbearing. He was his boyfriend, his partner. He didn't want to shackle Levi down. He wanted his alpha to always be happy. That was how he found a watch he really liked, while wandering around like a lost kid. It was kind of cheap, though expensive for him, but with its silver band, hands, numbers and trim, and emerald green face, it seemed perfect. With, Hanji having to pee again, he didn't have to listen to the pros and cons of buying Levi a watch. He decided to gift it to Levi for his birthday, rather than for Christmas. 

After hours, they finally finished their gift shopping. Swinging by Hanji's car to drop it all off, he then had Hanji come food shopping with him. He wanted to make Levi a birthday cake, though he'd lied when Hanji asked him why he was buying cake mix. Feeling self conscious enough as it was, Hanji didn't notice, filling the trolley with random things while telling him not to worry about it, as she always made Levi's cake. She might be their friend, but he was Levi's boyfriend. He should be the one making Levi a birthday cake. He wanted to. He wanted things to be perfect for Levi's birthday, before they headed over to Hanji's Christmas party. Getting a few more things to sell the lie that he was going to make a cake sometime in the near future, he was absolutely done with people by the end of it. The queues had been soooooo long when they'd entered, and seemed even longer once they joined. Given his size, and Hanji's own height, he knew they weren't invisible, yet because he was a lowly omega, people thought they would walk all over him, knocking into him with trolleys like he wasn't there at all. That was until Hanji started yelling at everyone around them. The pregnant alpha causing enough of a scene that everyone made themselves busy pretending that the pair of them didn't exist. Hanji's yelling might have been in his defence, but she could be fucking scary and despite how hard he tried to hold it in, fine tremors ran through his body. When the young guy serving them politely asked how their day had been, Eren could only squeak out something completely unintelligible, before clamming up completely while Hanji started talking a million miles an hour, leaving the poor guy looking like he regretted opening his mouth. He wished he had her confidence to deal with people in crowded situation like this one.

With Hanji feeling tired, they headed back to the apartment. With their arms loaded with shopping, he was surprised to see Levi wasn't home yet, as the pair of them dumped everything on the sofa gracelessly. They'd spent hours shopping, and even allowing for the few hours overlap where Levi was still on shift, he'd expected his alpha to be home. Hiding the things he didn't want Levi to find in his bed, under the sea of blankets. He'd been avoiding looking inside his wardrobe since Levi had fixed it for him. Fixing it had been covering the whole inside of the wardrobe with wallpaper. The omega felt bad for his boyfriend. Levi didn't have the time to be wasting it on wallpapering, only for him to avoid his wardrobe completely. So maybe Krista's table would have been fuller if he'd been living a little more normally, but if he knew he couldn't currently handle it then wasn't it a good thing he was avoiding it? Making sure his bed still looked nicely made, Eren hummed to himself before heading back out to the living room. Sprawled across the sofa, Hanji was talking to Titan as if he were a baby. The fat cat glaring her right into the eyes  
"He's going to claw you"  
"He wouldn't, he's too fluffy and cute"  
Eren rolled his eyes, sitting down in Levi recliner and gathering himself up. Being on the recliner, he had no idea how Hanji was possibly comfortable. The Christmas tree box was getting crushed under Hanji's weight, as was the food shopping, yet he was more worried about her comfort... because she couldn't possibly be comfortable  
"Why don't you sit up properly?"  
"Why don't you tell me what you were smuggling into your room?"  
"I wasn't smuggling anything"  
"Mhmm, don't think I didn't notice those extra bags. Spill. What did you buy without me?"  
"Nothing"  
"So you wouldn't mind if I went and took a look?"  
"It's just some shopping for Levi and for me... and you know, you and the baby"  
Hanji lowered Titan, squinting at him suspiciously   
"I didn't see you get me anything"  
"Because you had to pee every five seconds"  
"That's not my fault!"  
"Is too! You could have waited"  
"Then you would have known what I'd bought for you"  
Hanji released Titan, brushing his fur off her stomach   
"Fiiiine. I'll forgive me if you feed me. Seriously, not having you around and helping out has sucked sooo much. Levi better be appreciating you"  
"You'd have to ask him about that one. And if you want to cook you something, you need to get off the food"  
"But it's comfy!"  
"Hanji, get off the food, or I won't cook at all"  
"You're so mean. I'm going to have to talk to Levi about this. Making a pregnant alpha move..."  
Despite her grumbling, Hanji was still smiling as she pushed herself up, freeing the food  
"Now I have to pee again... see, this is why I didn't want to move"  
Eren grabbed the bags of his food shopping out the pile   
"I thought it was because you were comfy"  
"There's that too"  
"Just go the toilet already..."  
"But the effort"  
Why was he friends with Hanji? She was completely mental...  
"Do you really want to explain why you wet yourself on Levi's sofa?"  
Pushing herself up, Hanji giggled  
"You'll protect me from him, won't you?"  
"Nope. I like the sofa, I'd rather it not be peed on. We had to deal with that from Titan"  
"It's hard being fat and floofy. You just wait until you're pregnant and have to climb up like every five minutes"  
"Titan's a boy cat. He can't get pregnant like an omega"  
Hanji waved her hand at him, walking off into the bathroom while Eren carried everything into the kitchen. 

Levi finally came home while Eren was cooking omelettes for Hanji. Hanji had insisted on throwing all kinds of things in them, leaving them too oily to form properly. It was more like scrambled eggs. Joining him in the kitchen, Levi wrapped his arms around him  
"Aww.. you two are so cute"  
"Shut up. Don't think I didn't notice that Christmas tree on the sofa. You know how I feel about them"  
Eren's heart dropped. He'd thought Levi might be open to it, given it was their first Christmas together... yet his boyfriend sounded pissed. He even smelt pissed...  
"Don't look at me shorty. That was all Eren"  
"Eren..."  
"Do you want eggs?"  
"What? No. I already ate while I was out. I bought you back something to"  
His anxieties decided to his him hard. Levi was made and he'd just said "out" instead of "at work", he didn't think Levi would lie to him... but maybe his boyfriend had found someone better... nuzzling his shoulder, Levi quietly asked   
"Eren, are you alright?"  
"I'm sorry... I didn't think you'd mind the tree without lights"  
He mumbled his reply, forcing his stupid tears to stay down  
"It's ok... I don't like Christmas trees, but maybe this year will be different? It is our first Christmas together"  
"What are you two whispering about over there? It better be about the eggs, because me and this little bean are starting"  
Levi sighed against him, his alpha releasing him to move over to Hanji  
"Eren's about to serve your damn eggs"  
"That's because Eren is awesome. He let me Christmas shop all I wanted, not like you"  
Levi and Hanji usually went together? Had he intruded on that? Was he supposed to have told Hanji no? Fuck... his anxieties were really starting to rise. He'd been shaken by shopping, but determined to keep it in. Now he was home in the safety of the apartment, his frayed nerves seemed determined to make him fall apart completely  
"When you're shopping you get in and you get out. You don't spend hours wandering"  
"If you don't spend hours wandering, you miss all the best bits!"

Plating up Hanji's eggs, he couldn't stomach the idea of eating the small extra amount he'd made himself. He would have fled to Levi's room, but Levi was home now  
"You're not eating?"  
Hanji pouted at him  
"I'm not feeling great"  
Levi was by his side in an instant. Placing his palm on Eren's forehead, his boyfriend frowned  
"You don't have a fever"  
He should have lied or just said he wasn't hungry  
"Do you have a headache? Or do you feel all nucky in your tummy?"  
Levi shot a glare at Hanji, before looking back to him, waiting for an answer  
"I'm just tired. Sorry, Hanji. I think I want to lay down"  
"You did have a big day, sweetie, and Levi's here to annoy now. Go have a nap"  
Levi went to kiss his cheek, but Eren dodged him, fleeing to his room and away from the two stupidly medically trained alphas. Couldn't he just say he felt sick? Why did they have to ask what kind of sick? He was sure there were times when they'd just felt gross or didn't really want company, so why'd they have to make him feel even more anxious about everything. Locking his door, he toed off his shoes as he crossed to his bed, flopping down on the blankets before remembering he'd stashed stuff under them. Given none of it was breakable, he curled up on the covers feeling stupid.

 

*  
Hanji decided to stay and annoy him for about an hour even he'd gotten home. Having spent more time with Armin and Mikasa than he'd intended, he now had precious few hours before his next shift. The pair had a never ending stream of questions over Eren and his life, while Levi had pretty much none of the answers. He didn't even know what his boyfriend's favourite colour was... Trying not to explain all the shit Eren had been through, he could only give them vague answers, which pissed Mikasa off. She and Armin were both ultimately disappointed and upset over Eren not wanting to meet with them. He didn't close the door completely on them, simply explaining that with the death of Zeke, no wasn't the right time. He was sure there would come a time when Eren would want to reconnect with the pair of them, and it was clear how much they'd cared for their friend. No normal person would spend 10 years looking for a missing friend, not when they probably couldn't even remember Eren properly. When he'd parted with the pair, Armin had handed over the box and Levi had forced himself to wait until he was in his car to check the contents. There had been a photo album at the bottom of everything and that had made the whole headache inducing ordeal worth it. 

Now he just needed to deal with the next issue... the Christmas tree glaring at him from the sofa. Titan loved Christmas trees, to the point when he'd lay in his back, swatting at baubles like nothing else existed in his world for hours upon hours at a time. For such a lazy cat, the effort he went to when it came to trees was kind of impressive. For a while he had a small tree forced upon him by Hanji, until he was woken one night to Titan almost screeching and found the Christmas tree light cord chewed. After finding the tom hiding under his bed, and glaring at the tree as if it had betrayed him, he'd simply decided no more trees for them. He loved his cat, so it'd been an easy enough decision. Besides, they were messy. The small bits of plastic leaves always fell to the floor, and when you swept under it, more would fall... like some never ending cycle of torture. But on the other hand. This was his first Christmas with Eren. Eren was probably missing Zeke more than ever, and he'd probably had some kind of tree while living with his brother. He intended this to be the first of many Christmas's with his boyfriend, so many it was time to just go with the flow? Eren didn't but any lights, so there was no risk of Titan electrocuting himself, and no risk of fire... it was just... The messy... plasticy... never ending snowing... plastic. If or when they had pups, he didn't want to be the dad that banned trees. Levi felt himself jump at his own thoughts. Did he want to be a dad? How did one even "dad"? He wanted a future with Eren, and Eren wanted kids... and he wanted kids with Eren... so yes? He wanted to be a dad? Feeling slightly overwhelmed, he left the Christmas tree box on the sofa and fled into his own room. He didn't know what warm families did for Christmas. Thanks to their jobs, Hanji's Christmas party ran from the time she got off work, all the way through to the following morning. That was everyone could stop in at some point for food and company... this year, he had to work but was working the day shift Christmas Eve, then Christmas night, giving him plenty of time to fuck up Christmas for Eren. With each of them caught up in their spiralling emotions, they spent the day locked away in their respective rooms, Levi only finding a few hours sleep before it was time to get up and get ready for work all over again.

 

*  
Work had been horrible. Levi exhausted and irritable from it all, yet when he came home to find the apartment cleaned thoroughly, as well as dusted and Christmas tree free, he felt that irritation turn into sadness. He hadn't had a chance to talk to Eren about the Christmas tree issue, and seeing it gone from the sofa made him feel like a dick. He'd already decided this Christmas would be different. He wanted to make it special for Eren. It was time to form new Christmas traditions, and he was starting with the reinstatement of the Christmas tree.

Clearing a space in living room, next to the sofa, he laid out a white towel. Eren had purchased a white tree, so the plastic mess it made wouldn't be quite so obvious. With no lights, there would be no trip hazards, and if the tree was to fall due to Titan, it wouldn't take anything out in its decent. Now it was time to find Eren. Usually his boyfriend wandered out on his own, but as he hadn't, the omega was probably sleeping in their bed.

Deciding to shower before waking Eren, his boyfriend was sleeping in his own bed. Titan was pulled up against his chest, the pair of them spooned up and snoring. In the corner of Eren's room was the Christmas tree box, as well as what seemed to be a box of decorations and tinsel. Carrying it all out into the living room, it was finally time to wake Eren. It honestly felt like they hadn't talked in weeks. Work had been horrific, and not just from a lack of sleep. Two shitty alphas had gotten into a fight in the middle of a department store. One breaking the others nose... after being stabbed with scissors by the other one. Christmas always brought out the worst in people.

Crawling into Eren's bed, Levi wrapped his arms around Eren. His boyfriend letting out a sleepy yawn before wriggling back into him. Kissing Eren's bare shoulder, the his boyfriend yawned again  
"Sleepy?"  
"Mmm... not anymore. How was work?"  
"Long. All I could think about was coming home to you"  
"I missed you too... I cleaned"  
Rolling in his hold, Titan meowed as he fell from the bed, but Eren was already snuggling back into him and didn't notice the cats rapid eviction   
"I noticed. Are you awake? Or falling back to sleep?"  
"Awake. You're just really warm and comfy"  
"If you're awake then, I've got a surprise for you"  
"A surprise? What did I do to deserve that?"  
"You put up with me"  
"That's not hard"  
Nuzzling into his neck, Eren was in no hurry to move. Pulling Eren up and rolling them over so his boyfriend was straddling him, Eren flopped down against him  
"Sleepy"  
Tickling his sides, Eren shot back up, laughing as he did  
"Ok! Ok! I'm awake"  
"That's better. I want to do this with you, before I fall asleep"  
"Do what?"  
"You're about to find out, hold on"

Lifting Eren and carrying him out to living room wasn't nearly as coordinated or sexy as he'd hoped. He'd nearly tripped over his own feet trying to get him out of bed, before nearly smacking him into the doorframe. Finally making it to the living room, he dropped him down the sofa, where Eren let out a yelp  
"What was that?"  
"You try working a 12 hour shift with fuck all sleep"  
"Then why aren't we still in bed?"  
"Because I have something to ask you"  
"Yeah, what would that be?"  
Levi took a deep breath, trying to appear as serious as he could, as little revenge for Eren sitting there shirtless  
"We've known each other for a year now, and I could never have imagined how much you would come to mean to me. So I'm asking you, will you, Eren Yeager, please do me the honour of putting up this Christmas tree with me?"  
Eren gaped at him, before starting to laugh   
"You have no idea how happy this makes me. Yes, Levi. I would be honoured to put this Christmas tree up with you... but I thought you hated Christmas trees"  
Sitting down on the coffee table, Levi looked to the box   
"I was thinking that maybe it was time for a change. Time for some new traditions around here, for the two of us"  
Reaching out, Eren took his hand in his  
"I was really worried I'd fucked up... you seemed unhappy about it"  
"I was, until I thought about this all. It's our first Christmas together, so I want to do it right"  
"That means you're not mad?"  
"No, Eren. I'm not mad at all. Why don't you show me what we're working with"

Eren had worked with a dark metallic blue/green, white and silver theme for the tree. He'd expected the omega to have selected every colour under the sun, but as the slowly decorated the tree, it came together beautifully. More over, rather than placing the baubles up randomly, Eren carefully placed each one, soothing Levi's need for things to be in just the right location. Once they were finished, Eren placed the silver star he'd chosen atop the tree, before wrapping his arms around Levi and kissing his temple  
"Thank you... you have no idea how happy this makes me"  
Having witnessed how intent Eren had been on making everything perfect, he had a fair idea. Eren had even scolded him when he'd draped tinsel around his boyfriend's neck, as it belonged on their tree, and not around him  
"It looks great"  
"It doesn't look great, it looks perfect"  
Snorting Levi returned the hug  
"You did a good job"  
"I know. So did you..."  
The cocky little shit... still, he couldn't help but smile. Maybe this Christmas was a sign that things had definitely changed for the better? He had a wonderful boyfriend. A cat safe tree, and someone waiting for him at the end of each and every shift  
"We should get a photo before Titan gets to it"  
"Mmm... let me just hold you a little longer"  
He might hate the Christmas season, but his heart swelled with love for Eren. He wanted to give his omega the whole fucking world  
"Photos, then bed?"  
"Mmm, as much as I'd like nothing more than to climb into bed and snuggle up with my alpha, you haven't eaten anything since you came home. I'll heat up dinner, while you take the photos"  
"Are you telling me what to do?"  
"I am, when it comes to your health. You work so hard to support us, I just want to show you how much I care and how much you mean to me"  
Maybe this was what a warm and loving family felt like? A tree decorated together, a happy alpha and an even happier omega. If he could spend eternity in one moment, it'd have to be this one. In the loving arms of his boyfriend.


	33. Chapter 33

Levi hadn't been too happy lately. His boyfriend exhausted from work, and all the shit he had to see. Though things had been bad before, there were some days when Levi didn't want to talk at all, and some days when Levi wouldn't leave his side. Still struggling with his own emotions, and the fact this was his first Christmas without Zeke, Eren preferred the day's where he could cuddle into boyfriend.

With Levi working the day shift on Christmas Eve, Eren went about making his birthday cake. He'd been super careful not to mention that he knew it was Levi's birthday, and hoped the surprise would be worth it. He'd decided to make a simple chocolate cake, with a cinnamon cream topping. That way, he could also pass it off as a Christmas cake, if Levi didn't look too happy about it all. He was sure Levi would appreciate it, who didn't love sugar? And after all the crap from work, he had to be flexible.

In addition to baking Levi's cake, Eren had taken nearly two hours in the bathroom to carefully groom himself. He'd waxed, shaved, plucked and sworn until his body was perfect. The last thing he wanted was to be wearing the lingerie he'd purchased with untamed pubes hanging out. He was nervous enough as it was about wearing it. Lingerie generally wasn't made for tall people, let alone 6ft tall people. The final part of his plan was to use today to adjust to the idea of having Levi inside him... in the form of a butt plug. Grooming he could take, but the more he stared at the butt plug he'd pulled out from the box under Levi's bed, the more he wasn't sure about it all. He knew Levi felt good... and he knew his alpha would stop if he asked... but the butt plug... that was self imposed. He'd even chosen the bigger of three options he had, because he knew Levi wasn't exactly small down there. Standing in the bathroom, he knew he was running out of time, and it would be so much more awkward to explain if Levi walked in on him.

He could do this... he could do this and he could take his relationship with Levi to the next level. Other than kissing, they hadn't touched since returning from Paradis beach. Part of him found it hard not to imagine Levi's hands all over his body, especially when he'd wake to Levi's boner poking into his arse, while a bigger part still couldn't get Zeke out of his mind. It didn't matter that his brother wasn't there anymore. He still feared ending up slapped and left in a cold shower for doing something so filthy. Having nearly worked himself into tears, he snatched the butt plug off the counter. He wanted this. He wanted this for himself.

Lubing the toy up, he sat on the edge of the bathtub with his legs spread. With trembling fingers, he slipped them between his legs, touching his slicking opening while trying to imagine it was Levi touching him. Levi would be gentle. His boyfriend would insist on opening him slowly with his fingers, his breath would be warm against Eren's neck as he nuzzled into it. Just thinking of Levi sent a throb through his dick. His alpha was gorgeous. His silky black hair, and smooth light skin... the way he'd smirk as he came undone beneath him. Starting to slick harder, he pushed two fingers into himself, letting out a choked cry of surprise. It felt good... like... really good. Having not been touched for so long, he mewed as he tried to stretch himself. Tomorrow he'd be doing with this with... in their bed. A secret kind of thrill ran through his body, knowing he was going to be such a good omega for his lover. Stretching himself further, the burning he felt from pushing in impatiently made him whimper. He could feel himself clamping down around his fingertips, his body trying to both draw them in further and expel them. Gradually the burn began to fade with his clumsy finger fucking. His dick now half hard, and his mouth hanging open with pleasure. Wanting to feel the toy before he came, he pulled his fingers free with a groan. He'd touched himself and he'd liked it... he wanted more. Taking a deep breath, he lined the toy up, its cold blunt tip causing a moment of panic of his body tensed. He was building everything up his head, his thoughts his own worse enemy. Beginning to feel the pleasure turning to anger, he pushed the plug in, whining as his feet arched and his body took the toy in. Fuck... fuuuck... fuuuuuck... his dick throbbed, demanding attention as he ignored it. Sliding the toy in completely, his body clamped around it. Shifting his hips and trying to adjust to the feeling of being full, the tip of the plug pushed solidly against his sweet spot. Gasping at the sensation, his lubed hand wrapped around his dick, while his free hand ran up his chest to begin kneading at his left breast. Rocking and grinding, he tried to ride the plug the best he could, while jerking himself off almost frantically. Everything was getting too much, yet all his mind was focusing on was Levi's scent lingering in the bathroom. Lost in his own imagination, he came with Levi's name on his lips. His orgasm hitting hard, and his cum splattered across the bathroom floor. Left boneless from his moment, his hand milked the last of the cum from his spent dick, while the hand that been on his breast fell limp. Fuck... he didn't know how much he'd needed the release. It felt like all the tension had drained from him, and now he just wanted to nap... 

Cleaning the bathroom was awkward. Being on his hands and knees, the plug would shift as he cleaned his cum from the floor. He had no idea how he was going to keep a straight face when Levi came home, only that he couldn't take the plug out, not until he was completely comfortable with it being in there in the first place. When the bathroom was finally clean, and sprayed out with scent canceller, he darted through to his room as if trying to hide from Levi. Dressing and trying to look normal, like there wasn't a huge plug in his arse, Eren curled up in his own bed. It almost felt as if he was going into heat. His lower half stimulated purely from the full feeling, leaving his heart racing with the need for more.

Leaving it as long as he could, the moment he finally pulled the plug free, he started to cry. His body was sensitive and over stimulated. His prostate having been abused by the tip of the plug for hours. He'd cum twice front it, but now he was empty, he was struggling with his omega side. It wanted Levi. It wanted Levi to pin him and down breed him... but their alpha wasn't home yet. He had no one to hold him like he needed. Hobbling to the bathroom, he cleaned the plug down and hid it in the back of the bathroom cupboard, before showering to wash away the absurd amount of slick that had gathered. Now that he was crying, he couldn't stop. He wanted to be Levi's everything, and his stupid anxieties were telling him he definitely wasn't. He, himself, knew that Levi worked long hours, but the little voices in the back of his head told him Levi wasn't really working. They'd met over a year ago in a strip club, so what was to say Levi wasn't at a strip club right now?

Eren was still teary as he made dinner. Levi had warned him that Hanji would be shoving food at them the moment they stepped through her front door, so dinner was a simple salad and pan friend lamb chops. Just as he started serving, Levi walked in with a heavy sigh. Rushing from behind the kitchen bench, he went to throw his arms around Levi, only for his boyfriend to stop him by shaking his head  
"Sorry. I need to shower first"  
Another bad day for his alpha... he was sick of them. Returning to the kitchen, Eren finished serving dinner, placing it on the dining table and shooing Titan away. Taking his place at the table, he nervously fidgeted with his shirt hem. 

When Levi came out of the bathroom, his boyfriend walked right past him, and into the kitchen. Pouring two double shot scotches, Levi downed his, then refilled his glass, carrying them over to the dining table  
"What a shitty arse day. Sorry about before. I just had some shitty arseholes blood on me"  
That was three "shitty's". He knew "shit" was Levi's favourite word, but three meant it was a truly bad day. Placing his drink down beside his dinner, Levi kissed the top of his head, before taking his own seat  
"Are you ok? I know you've been crying"  
"Sorry. It was just... a long day. I guess I'm feeling a little clingy"  
"After the day I had, I'm up for all the clinging you want. Thank you for making dinner"  
"It's ok... can I ask how bad it was?"  
"It wasn't great. Things are better now I'm home. What did you get up to?"  
He couldn't tell Levi he jerked off twice while thinking about him  
"I cleaned, and took a nap. You made it sound like I need all the energy I can get for Hanji's Christmas party"  
"Oh, you do. Last year we were lucky enough that she was on her honeymoon with Moblit and we didn't have to suffer through her Christmas party"  
"Then what did you do for Christmas?"  
"Worked, then had beers with Erwin"  
"Oh..."  
Levi picked up his knife and fork  
"Oh?"  
"No. Nothing... I got a little distracted. What do you want to do after dinner? We could watch a movie?"  
"That sounds great. I have 22 and bit hours until I'm back at work, and intend to make the most of them with you"  
Levi had no idea that Eren fully intended to make the very most of their time together...

 

*  
Leaving Levi sleeping off the scotch they'd finished the night before, Eren went about setting his plans into action. First he showered, then reinserted the plug from the day before. Next came getting dressed. The underwear he had chosen was a white lacy thong, connected with suspenders to the skirt garter thing. He didn't know the actual name of things. He'd never liked dressing as a girl, so hadn't bothered to learn it. The corset and garter skirt were both a metallic green, with red lace trim. The skirt was a kind of mesh, that was completely see-through, sitting about two inches beneath his corset. The worst part of the corset was trying to tie the white ribbons on the back of it. Like most modern corsets, there was a side zip, but he wanted everything to be just right. Wearing his hair down, he tied a red ribbon around his neck with a neat bow. Connected to the bow was a present tag, Levi's name scrawled across it in his messy writing. To finish the look off, he wore an elf hat on his head, and bright white stockings, the kind with the lace around their thigh high tops, that connected to the garter straps on his underwear. He thought he looked alright, he took a few too many photos of himself, trying to make sure he was perfect from every angle. He was a little gangly, given his height, and his skirt left the bottom of his arse hanging out, but he was aiming for sexy.

Retrieving the wrapped watch box from his room, he made sure the paper he'd wrapped it with didn't give anything away. The card he'd purchased sat under the box in its plain white envelope. Placing both items in front of Levi's usual spot at the dining table, he then headed into the kitchen to start making breakfast for his alpha.

Levi came staggering out of their bedroom, as Eren was serving breakfast. Smiling to himself, he watched the look on Levi's face morph as he came into the kitchen and caught sight of what Eren was wearing. Growling, his boyfriend came up and wrapped his arms around him, Levi mouthing at his shoulder as his hands slid across Eren's exposed stomach, his teeth gently dragging on the omega's shoulder as he growled again  
"See something you like?"  
Titling his head, his hair slipped from his shoulder to expose the bow. Kissing his way up along Eren's shoulder and up his neck, the alpha whispered in his ear  
"Very much so... this better not be what you're wearing to Hanji's?"  
Turning in Levi's hold, he shook his head as he slung his arms over Levi's shoulders  
"No... this is all for you... or can't you read the gift tag?"  
"I can read"  
"Then when are you going to unwrap your present?"  
Levi visibly swallowed. He could smell the arousal in the alpha's scent. His heart starting to race, while his stomach was filled with butterflies. Levi was looking at him so hungrily that if the plug wasn't firmly in his arse, he was sure he'd be gushing slick  
"Eren?"  
Smiling at his alpha, he rolled his hips  
"I want this. I want to be with you, because I... I love you, Levi"  
Instead of answering, Levi's lips smashed into his. Eagerly Eren kissed back. Grinding up against each other, Eren broke the kiss to throw his head back with a lewd mew. Levi's hands had roamed down to his arse, groping him as the butt plug shifted   
"Eren, are you sure?"  
"I want you, Levi. I want to be with you forever"  
Lifting him by the arse, Levi carried him back to their bedroom, his lips finding Levi's as he was carried. He was so fucking nervous, and aroused from just how possessive Levi's growls had been.

Laying him down on their bed, Levi settled between his legs. The alpha's hands ran up the inside of his thighs, thumbs rubbing gentle and the edge of the thong  
"Fuck... look at you. You're so fucking beautiful"  
His blushed with happiness. His alpha had praised him!   
"Do you like it?"  
"More than you could know..."  
"It's ok to touch"  
"I don't know. My gift looks so perfect like this, I almost don't want to unwrap it"  
"Silly alpha. You have to unwrap your gift. Especially on Christmas Day"  
Licking his lips, Levi's eyes roamed across his body, before settling on his crotch  
"You can touch... I want you to touch me"

Burying his face between Eren's long legs, Levi ran his tongue over Eren's erection. Trapped in the confides of the thong, a wet spot was forming as Levi started to tease. Using his lips to push down against the head of his dick. The alpha's saliva soaking the thin garment as he started to bob his head up and down, blowing him through the lace. With his hands still running up and down Eren's thighs, Levi pushed his legs further apart, growling as pulled back with a frown  
"Is something wrong?"  
"You're not slick..."  
Taking Levi's hand, he placed it down between his legs, curling his fingers and pushing Levi's own against the end of the plug  
"Someone's prepared"  
"I wanted this to be perfect..."  
Climbing up his body, Levi kissed him softly. Pressing several long kisses to his lips before kissing his way down to his neck   
"So beautiful... there's so many things I want to do to you"  
A shiver ran down his spine. With his legs spread and his dick dripping, he wanted everything Levi wanted to do to him  
"You can do anything you want"  
"Will you present for me?"  
His heart skipped a beat as his throat tightened. Sensing his uneasy, Levi crooned softly  
"Another time"  
"N-no... you just took me by surprise"  
"Eren..."  
"I want to present myself for you... I want to present myself for the alpha I love"  
"If it gets too much..."  
"I'll tell you"

With his arse in the air, his dick felt heavy between his legs. Bowed and angry, he had no way of relieving his need for friction. Behind him, Levi was firmly massaging his arse, his boyfriend had already undone the straps between the underwear garter skirt and his thong, then seemed to have gotten distracted by his arse. Arching his back and pushing his chest to their bed, he wriggled his arse like a cat about to pounce  
"Someone's impatient. I want to take my time to unwrap my present"  
"You're taking too long"  
Nipping him on the arse, Eren mewed  
"That's my brat... so perfect"  
Running his tongue along the back of the thong, Eren mewed again as Levi's tongue trailed over his twitching opening. His boyfriend was a neat freak, so he'd never thought Levi would place his tongue against such a sensitive area. Repeating the action, Eren pushed back into Levi's face, the plug being pushed deeper as Levi's tongue started to swirl around the end of it   
"Shit... Levi..."  
"I'm going take the plug out now, let me taste you"

The plug was pulled free with a long whine, his gaping opening replaced by Levi's tongue as Levi started eating him out. It felt fucking amazing. Holding his hips, Levi didn't hold back, moving from eating him out to fucking him with his tongue. Moaning and mewing, Eren went to take his dick in his hand, only for Levi to smack it away   
"You taste so good... I could drink you down forever... or would you rather I mount you? Make you come in that lace thong?"  
Eren nodded, having Levi talking to him helped anchor him. This was his boyfriend touching him. No one else  
"Yes... please"  
"Shhh, just a little longer my love. You're so good Eren... your slick and your arse were made for me. I could eat this perfect arse of yours all day"  
His omega was in a daze from all this praise, as a purr escaped his lips   
"Fuck... ok..."

Flipping him back over, Levi pushed the back of the thong out the way. Draping his stocking clad legs over his shoulders, his boyfriend freed himself from his sweat pant and underwear. Taking a few moment to put a condom on, Eren offered him a small smile as their eyes met  
"You look wrecked, and I haven't even mounted you yet"  
"Your tongue felt so good... I wanted to come"  
"Maybe next time..."  
Pushing his legs up, Levi rubbed his erection against Eren's taint, the omega's breath catching as Levi's dick slid down  
"So wet..."  
Before he could reply, Levi was burying himself in his heat. Clenching down, he whined as he was stretched further than the plug had. Keeping himself steady until he bottomed out. They were actually doing this... and Levi felt so much better than the plug did  
"Are you ok?"  
"Y-yes... you can move now"

With every thrust, Levi hit his sweet spot. Starting slowly, their sex was sweet and full of love, until they finally both gave into the desires of their dynamics. Holding his legs apart, Eren watched as Levi watched himself fucking him thoroughly. It felt so fucking good. The drag of Levi's dick, still catching slightly as the room filled with the sound of his slick squelching. Under his arse was soaked, slick covering his inner thighs and Levi's dark pubes. Biting his lip, he came hard in his underwear, feeling more cum dribbling and splattering onto his lower stomach in small bursts. Above him, Levi was growling and panting hard, he could feel his lover's dick swelling as he prepared to knot him  
"I'm going to knot you"  
"I want it. I want your knot"  
Leaning down to kiss his chest, Eren let out a whimper as he came in his thong again. Levi's knot had swollen so fast, the pair of them joined together as heat started to pool in his belly. He wasn't actually sure if he could feel Levi's come filling in thick bursts, or the warmth was his imagination. Whatever it was, he started to purr. 

Lowering his legs, Levi lifted him up into his lap. His boyfriend nuzzling into his cheek while kissing the corner of his mouth. Sleepy, Eren just let himself be held  
"Are you alright?"  
"Mmm... sleepy"  
"It wasn't too much?"  
"No... it felt good to be with you"  
"You look fucking hot"  
"I feel fucked... Levi, I love you..."  
"Brat..."  
"... Happy Birthday. I know you didn't say anything, but happy birthday"  
"Thank you... this is the best birthday present I've ever got"  
Moving slightly, Levi's knot jostled, both of them moaning at the tugging feeling. Finding Levi's lips, he kissed him happily   
"I don't know about the best, but celebration your birthday is more important to me than Christmas. I got you a birthday present, but I guess I looked so good you had to unwrap me right away"  
"You looked more than good. That corset and the thong... with the stockings. It's making me want to knot you all over again"  
"Mmm. It makes me proud to be your omega when you talk like that"  
"You should always be proud. I'm proud to be your alpha"  
"Really?"  
"Yes, Eren"

 

Eren's stomach felt like it was still filled with butterflies, even after having sex. His anxieties had flared back up, due to Levi's knot meaning he couldn't escape being held by the alpha. Levi backed off the moment he could, his alpha helping him breath and free himself from the corset, before telling him to shower first while he took care of their messy sheets. Still, he felt like he'd fucked up for needing space. He'd had sex with his boyfriend. The man he loved and the man that loved him. He shouldn't be standing in the shower and thinking of the touches from other alphas. He'd wanted this, so why wouldn't the butterflies leave his belly?

When Eren finally came out the bathroom, Levi was sitting on the sofa with Titan. Rising to his feet, his alpha walked over to him, taking his hands in his  
"Are you ok?"  
"Yeah... I don't know why, I'm still kind of nervous"  
He wanted to pull his hands away, but the warm smile Levi gave him stopped him  
"I'm nervous too... I was scared you'd be upset"  
"No. I'm not scared... not when I have you. I wouldn't have gone to all that effort if I didn't want you"  
"Thank you... I... I've never said this before, but I think... I, uh..."  
Words didn't come easy to Levi, and he didn't know what the alpha wanted to say... he was just scared it wasn't going to be something he liked, so quickly kissed his boyfriend to silence him. The kiss was over before it really began, Eren pulling his hands out of his   
"I'm going to warm breakfast up, go take a shower and then we'll do presents"  
"Presents?"  
"I got you one for your birthday and two small ones for Christmas... they're kind of lame. I just wanted to get you something for both"  
"No one's every done that..."  
"Then they suck. No offence to your friends, but your birthday is so much more important"  
Going to sidestep his boyfriend, Levi threw his arms around him, hiding his face against Eren's shoulder   
"Thank you... thank you for everything and thank you for being here..."

 

*  
Levi had not expected Eren to be dressed like a sexy elf when he'd climbed out of bed. He hadn't expected his omega to be in a white thong with his glorious arse showing to the world. Nor had expected that Eren had planned to give himself to him for a Christmas/Birthday present. The moment he'd set eyes on his boyfriend, he'd wanted to sink to his knees and worship his lover's body. He'd gotten worried when Eren had left the bed and hadn't returned. They'd spent the previous night watching Christmas movies, Levi laying along the sofa with Eren laying along him. His boyfriend's head on his chest as he nuzzled into him. He couldn't for the life of him remember anything that had happened in the movies, instead he'd been completely wrapped up in how warm and soft Eren was in his arms.

Having showered and dressed in a plain white shirt, and black jeans, Levi headed over to the dining table. Taking his seat, he smiled at the fresh cup of steaming tea sitting beside his plate of bacon and eggs. Sitting across from him, Eren had his left leg up, his foot on the edge of the chair as his chin rested on his knee  
"How do you feel?"  
Eren rolled his eyes, huffing as he lowered his leg  
"I'm fine"  
"Are you sure?"  
"Levi, I had sex with my boyfriend. I'm fine"  
"Your arse isn't sore? I don't think I tore you"  
Eren blushed, choking on thin air. It took his boyfriend a few moments to compose himself   
"You know that thing were Hanji keeps talking, even when you want her to stop? You're doing that right now"  
Levi snorted. If Eren was being so snippy, he probably was fine  
"Fuck... I forgot to get photos"  
"You... What? You wanted photos? Why?"  
"Because you gave me the best present I've ever had. You know I don't think about you as just an omega, right?"  
"I think you mean, you don't think of me just for sex"  
Eren's English was a little off, Levi not bothering to correct him as he nodded  
"Yeah"  
"I know you don't... I just didn't know how else to tell you I wanted to take the next step with you. I... talked to Krista about it, and she helped. She told me to monitor my panic attacks and look back to see how many I've had, and to think about my progress..."  
Readjusting his hoodie, the red ribbon around Eren's neck peaked out. The gift card label tied to it, his name claiming Eren as his own  
"You left the ribbon on?"  
"Yeah... just so you know, I'm a gift. You can't return me"  
"I wouldn't want to return you. You're more than enough. You didn't need to buy me presents"  
Eren didn't know he'd moved him to tears, by wanting to celebrate his birthday as well as Christmas. He'd never once felt grateful for being born on Christmas Day, yet once again, Eren had changed everything. 

Finishing their breakfast, Eren stared at the small present by Levi's empty plate. It was obvious he wanted him to open it   
"If we're doing presents, I should go get yours"  
"Nope. Not yet. This is for your birthday. I hope you like it. I mean, I picked it by myself, and it was probably cheap for you, but kind of expensive for me and I'm really nervous, so can you please open it"  
"You're nervous? I never would have guessed"  
"You're not funny"  
"I'm plenty funny. You just don't appreciate my humour"  
"I do to... and ok, you kind of are..."  
"That's better. You still didn't need to get me anything"  
"Stop saying that. It's making me even more nervous"

Unwrapping the black velvet box, his heart was momentarily racing, before he realised it was too big to be a ring box. Eren had told him he loved him, then kissed him before he could clearly say the same thing back. Opening the box, his eyes widened at the watch inside. He hadn't expected that   
"I know you're practical and I really wanted to get you a fun gift, but when I saw it, I thought it would really suit you... if you don't like it..."  
His boyfriend was rambling with nerves  
"Eren, shut up. It's great"  
Eren let out a sigh of relief. He wasn't really much of a watch person, other than the watch he wore for work. This was definitely the kind of watch you wore out on a special occasion and not every day, still, it was nice little piece  
"Are you sure you like it?"  
Taking it out the box, he started putting it on. Eren could see exactly what he was doing, so why was he even asking? Fixing the clasp in place, he smiled at his omega   
"Yes, Eren. The green reminds me of your eyes"  
"That's what I thought. The silver reminds me of yours... oh! Shit. Hold on"  
Pushing his chair back, Eren ran over to the fridge. His boyfriend returning with a coveted plate a few moments later  
"I was going to do this first... I'm sorry"  
Lifting the cover off, Levi eyed the cake beneath it   
"I didn't know how you'd feel about celebrating your birthday. So I made it kind of plain. It's chocolate with a cinnamon cream... I figured it you didn't like it, we could pass it off as a Christmas cake. I wanted to get candles, but Hanji told me she always makes your cake and not to worry about it... but I'm your boyfriend. I want to be the one to make your cake for you...

Standing up, Levi stepped around the table, lifting the cake from Eren's hands and placing it on the table  
"Levi?"  
"Eren. Why do you always do the right thing? You went to so much effort to make today perfect, didn't you?"  
"I..."  
Cupping Eren's face, he kissed him, hoping to show the omega just how much he fucking meant to him. His boyfriend had thought of everything, and had been careful to consider his feelings. Sharing the long and loving kiss, Eren had tears in his eyes when they broke apart. Nuzzling his cheek against Eren's, Levi sighed softly  
"I never knew how happy I could be until I met you. Thank you. Thank you for making the time to celebrate my birthday"  
"Of course... you're my alpha. I want to celebrate everything with you. And to me, your birthday is much more important than Christmas, and it always will be... next year, we can do something even bigger?"  
"Next year..."  
The words caught in his throat due to the crazy good amount of emotion those two small words brought, he softly continued   
"... and the year after that?"  
"Careful now, you might just be stuck with me forever"  
"I wouldn't mind that kind of forever"  
"Then it's a date"  
"Yeah... shall we try this cake?"  
"Mmm. I'll get the plates and the knife. But you have to wait"

Levi was confused about what he had to wait over, only to find out that it was because Eren wanted to sing happy birthday to him. He couldn't help but laugh at how tone deaf his lover was, still, it was adorable. Placing the knife and two plates down by the cake, Eren moved to lean down behind him, wrapping his arms around him kissing his cheek as he finished singing  
"Don't forget to make a wish"  
"Can you make a wish without candles?"  
"I can get the oven lighter and you can blow that out, if you want?"  
Mocking a grumble, he mumbled out   
"I'd rather blow you"  
Eren laughed softly  
"If you're a really good alpha, Santa's Elf might come out to play again"  
"Shit"  
With Eren's small freak out, he hadn't been able to undress him like he would have wanted. All he did was help Eren out the corset so his lover wouldn't pass out from a lack of oxygen  
"Mhmm... I'll be your ho ho hoe"  
Levi snorted, shaking his head  
"That was terrible"  
"At least you're not Santa. He only comes once a year"  
"Fuck. I love you, brat"  
The words slipped out so easily. Not like before   
"Y-you do?"  
Turning in his chair, he looked up at Eren   
"I do. Very much"  
He did. He loved and adored Eren with everything he had. 

Eren started to sob, his birthday cake was forced to take a back seat for now. Lifting Eren by the arse, he carried him over to the sofa where he carefully lowered them both down, keeping Eren in his lap. Holding him close, he rubbed his back  
"Hey, what are all the tears for?"  
Eren wailed  
"I'm so happy!"  
Only Eren could be sobbing with happiness and make his declaration sound anything but happy  
"You don't need to cry"  
"I don't know why I'm crying! It won't stop!"  
"You're ok... I'm here"  
"I know!... I know..."  
Snorting, he was grateful Eren had managed to rein his voice back in for the second "I know". Letting his omega cry, he held him close until Eren's tears finally stopped  
"Better?"  
"Sorry for crying... I'm just so happy"  
"Tears of happiness are a good thing"  
"I don't want to cry anymore"  
"Even if you do, you will always have me"  
"Do you promise?"  
"Yes, Eren. I promise"  
Lifting his face, Eren shot him a brilliant smile  
"I need to wash my face... can we still have cake?"  
"We're definitely having cake. Go on. I'll even wait for you to come back before I cut it"  
"Best alpha ever"  
Springing from his lap like he hadn't been crying. Eren hoisted Titan off the recliner as he marched into the bathroom. He'd finally been able to put the emotions he'd had for the last year into words... not that he'd admit he'd fallen for Eren at first sight... or rather, first insult. He'd wanted so badly to give the omega space to heal, but now it felt like he'd wasted months fucking around... though he knew if he and Eren had entered into a relationship any sooner, his omega really wouldn't have been in the right headspace. He also knew that even if this moment was perfect, things might not stay that way... at least not after they got to Hanji's.

 

After the cake came the Christmas presents. Levi receiving a very nice white tea set, completely with a very nice teapot... he was quietly impressed by it, but didn't want to seem too eager in front of Eren. As well as a few horror DVDs that Eren shyly asked if they could watch together. His third gift was a box of wrapped up microwave popcorn to accompany the movies. It was a relief to know Eren hadn't gone overboard with shopping for him, and his gifts were very him. For Eren he'd purchased dance lessons. It wasn't fancy ballroom dancing or anything, more like a dance fitness class. Eren still screamed and launched himself on himself on him. Warning him gently that the classes might clash with his schedule, which would mean catching a lift with one of their friends, Eren didn't seem to mind at all. His second gift to Eren was a bracelet. It was a simple silver band with two charms attached, that he hadn't actually intended on buying in the first place. After the moment they'd shared putting the Christmas tree up, he'd been left in a daze. Instead of driving straight to work, he'd driven to a jewellery shop and walked in before he'd realised it. Staring down at the display cases of shining gemstones and gold bands, he'd finally snapped back to reality when the woman behind the counter had come over to ask him if there was anything he'd like to take a closer look at... spluttering and realising just what he'd been so close to doing, he'd uncharacteristically stuttered out bracelets... perhaps taking pity on him, the woman did all the talking while he just glared at them. When his eyes finally landed on the fine sliver band, with a charm letter, he knew Eren would be thrilled. Being the love struck dope he was, he'd purchased an "E" and an "L", for the bracelet. The woman clipping them in place, or whatever the did and saving him the embarrassment of figuring out how to do so later. So while he hadn't intended on buying Eren a bracelet, he'd accidentally found his perfect gift... and scared himself shitless with the thought of engagement ring shopping.

Being a coward, Eren's third gift of the photos album from Armin had to wait... until they got to Hanji's. He'd wrapped it, and that was as far as he'd gotten as he didn't know how Eren was going to react once he saw what it was. He told himself he didn't want to give it Eren unless there was someone there to stay with him... but deep down, he was terrified of admitting to Eren that he had betrayed his trust by meeting with Armin and Mikasa. He knew Eren would be mad... his boyfriend may even scream or yell... that he could live with, Eren hating... he couldn't.

 

*  
Eren was still wearing the ribbon around his neck as Hanji let them in. Throwing her arms around them, Hanji had already donned her ugly sweater for the year. The thing was hideous. Completely red and green, and patterned with reindeers. He hadn't warned Eren of her tradition of forcing the hideous things on them. Taking the box of presents from his arms, Hanji giggled  
"Moblit and Erwin are already in their sweaters, yours and Eren's are in there"  
"Sweaters?"  
Kissing Eren on the cheek, he nodded  
"Hanji forces her ugly sweaters on everyone who comes to visit. She tried knitting them once... never again"  
"Levi, stop scaring Eren. I know they're your favourite present"  
"I don't know, the ones I got from Eren today was pretty awesome. In fact, I don't think it's possible to top it"  
"That's because you haven't seen your sweaters yet. Head on in while I put these in the kitchen with the others"  
Eren being Eren, he couldn't be anything other than sweet  
"Hanji, do you need any help?"  
"Not now, but you might regret asking later sweetheart"  
Giving Eren a wink, Hanji waddled off with the box  
"Levi, should I be scared?"  
"Honestly, yes. Her sweater taste is... well, that"

Levi's sweater was a hideous red and white striped number that even Wally wouldn't be caught wearing. The alternating rows of snowflakes made his eyes hurt. Eren's was slightly better. His was green and white, with red bows on top of the present pattern in the stripes. He couldn't help the snort that escaped at the red bows, and how they matched the bow on Eren's neck. With his boyfriend sitting in his lap, Eren had his shoulder resting against his shoulder. Despite being pregnant, Hanji had Eren's feet in her lap, and crammed in between Hanji and the end of the sofa was Erwin. His ugly sweater was like Hanji's with the reindeers, yet was red and white like his own. Sitting across from them, Moblit looked a little lost on his own. There was plenty of space, and there was no need for Hanji to be squashing all of them. Patting Eren's leg, she was smart enough not to go near Eren's ankles  
"Soooooo. What did you two do today? Levi's always so grumpy on his birthday"  
"I'm not always grumpy... you guys are just arseholes"  
Eren choked, nearly spilling the beer Moblit had given him. Patting his back, Eren coughed as he tried to breathe  
"Don't die on me brat"  
"I won't... but for someone who's not grumpy, you sound grumpy now"  
"I'm not grumpy"  
"I know you're not... anyway, Levi's been in a good mood all day, or he was until we got here"  
Hanji giggled, reaching up to touch her neck  
"Does that have something to do with ribbon around your neck?"  
Eren squeaked, hiding his face against his neck   
"Hanji, stop teasing him"  
"I can't help it. He's so cute"  
"He's my boyfriend. So paws off"  
"Someone got laid for his birthday..."  
Erwin laughed, poking the bottom of Eren's foot with his empty beer  
"Ignore her Eren. What you and Levi get up to is your business... just don't forget that Erwin is perfectly fine name for a child"  
Whining, Eren tried hiding flattening himself up against him. His boyfriend was starting to smell distressed, his anxieties ruining the happy smile that had been plastered on Eren's face   
"That's enough. No more talking about our sex life. Eren made breakfast, baked a cake for my birthday, and gave me my new watch"  
Hanji sighed, smacking Eren's leg. Drawing his feet up, his shoes dug into Levi's leg. He should have had Eren take his shoes off, his pants were going to be dirty before he even got to work   
"Eren, I said you didn't have to make Levi a cake"  
"He didn't have to, but he wanted to. He wanted to celebrate both my birthday and Christmas"  
Kissing Eren's hair, Eren was still tense. He didn't like this at all. They should all known better than to be talking about their sex life. They all knew Eren had issues, issues that didn't need to be focused on when they were all trying to have a good day  
"It was nice. We had cake, did the presents, watched Titan trip on catnip. He tried to run up the Christmas tree and pulled it down on himself"  
His poor fat cat had been so out of it, that when the tree fell, he just stayed on his back under it, his front paws up near his chin as he clawed at thin air   
"Sooo what did you give each other? Eren gave you a watch?"  
"Yep, and he got a bracelet"  
Taking Eren's hand in his, he lifted it so their friends could see the watch and bracelet. Hanji "oooooh'd" over it, then promptly changed the topic  
"I saw his name on a present in the box, what else did you get him?"  
He hadn't forget about the album, but with Eren already feeling on edge, maybe today wasn't the best day for it  
"None of your business. That's for later"  
"Sometimes I feel like you don't appreciate me as much as you should"  
"Appreciating you, is Moblit's job"  
"Hear how he talks to me! You're lucky it's your birthday"  
"I was perfectly happy at home with Eren"  
"Don't be like that... Eren, honey? Are you ok?"  
"I'm ok... I think I want to go to the bathroom"

Pushing his beer into Levi's hands, Eren climbed from his lap and disappeared up the stairs. Levi waited until his footsteps had faded, before scowling at Hanji   
"Did you really have to upset him?"  
"Me?! What did I do?"  
"You know he has trouble with things relating to sex"  
"I just thought... because you two did it, things would be ok now"  
"They're not. And before he comes back down, I need to hide that present"  
"What? Why?"  
"I fucked up. I met with some people who knew Eren when he was a kid. Eren didn't want to know them... but I went behind his back. They gave me a photo album from Eren's childhood"  
Hanji's eyes lit up  
"Levi! You have to give it to him"  
"I don't think today's the right day. Things were fine earlier, but now he's starting to stress again"  
"You can't hide it from him"  
"Wait... Hanji, Levi has a point. Giving the album to Eren is admitting that he went behind Eren's back. I don't think he's going to be too happy about that"  
Trust Moblit to be the voice of reason  
"But these are his memories..."  
"Of a time when he lived with his dick of a father..."  
"Then we'll do the presents now. That way you'll be here for him, no matter his reaction"  
Hanji just didn't understand. Eren had told him calmly he loved him. His omega had been so happy. They'd had sex. Eren had wanted him. Had accepted him completely. He was fucking terrified of all that falling down around him  
"Levi...?"  
"He's not going to be happy"  
"It's alright. Even if he isn't, he's staying here tonight, so we'll be here with him"  
"I can't lose him..."  
"No. You're not going to lose him. He loves you"  
"I betrayed him..."

"What's going on?"  
Standing in the archway between the stairs and the living room, Eren had his arms around his waist. The omega looked worried  
"Nothing honey. We were just talking about doing presents before the others come by. Why don't you sit here?"  
Eren wore a frown on his face. Pushing herself up, Hanji patted the spot she'd vacated  
"Come on, sit down. There's nothing to worry about"  
"Levi?"  
Forcing a smile, he nodded at Eren   
"It's fine. Hanji was just being Hanji"  
His boyfriend wasn't convinced, but walked over and sat down where he was supposed to  
"Great. Give me a moment all I'll be right back"

It was tense as everyone opened their presents. As expected, Hanji had matched awful ugly socks to her ugly sweater choices. Eren laughed, but soon quietened when he realised everyone looked slightly worried. When Hanji placed the wrapped album down in front of him, Levi felt like he was going to vomit. His nerves hitting hard, in a way that made him want to run. This was a horrible idea. Watching as Eren carefully unwrapped the album, the omega frowned   
"W-what is this?"  
Looking up to Hanji, Hanji looked worried  
"It's ok, sweetheart. Go ahead and open it"  
Lifting the first page with shaking hands, Eren's eyes widened. The first page was baby photos of Eren, swaddled up in his mother's arms. The grief that rolled off his boyfriend, made them all shuffle uncomfortably. Eren's scent had turned sour so fast, none of them had expected the rising feelings and urge to protect him  
"What did you do...?"  
Eren's voice was cold, stabbing through Levi's heart. Slamming the album shut, Eren climbed to his feet. Catching his lover by the wrist, Eren tore his arm away  
"What the fuck did you do?!"  
"I met with Armin. He wanted you to have this"  
"You... you met with him!"  
Eren sounded livid   
"He and Mikasa, they've both spent so long searching for you. How could I not?"  
"Fucking easily! I told you not to! I told you!"  
Standing, Hanji raised her hands as if trying to calm Eren   
"Eren, this is your past"  
"My fucking past! My past that you promised not to dig into! You fucking lied to me! You snuck around behind my back!"  
"Hey, Levi did it because he loves you"  
"If he loved me, he wouldn't have done this!"  
"Eren..."  
"No! No... you have no fucking idea what you've done!"  
Levi's alpha snapped. Standing up, he pulled himself up to his full height  
"Of course I don't. You won't let me in"  
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!"  
"It means you haven't told me anything about what happened with Zeke. Or about how he died"  
"Because I can't tell you!"  
"You can't or you won't?"  
"I can't!"  
"It's been months! You don't need to be scared. I want to help you. I want to be there with you for this, but you keep saying you can't"  
"Because I made a fucking deal! I made a deal to keep all of you fucking safe! To stop them murdering you!I know who killed my fucking brother! And I made a deal to forget the past! You said you wouldn't ask!"  
Levi felt like he'd been smacked over the back of his head. Eren actually knew? Why hadn't the kid just told the police? Why hadn't he told him? Did he really trust him so little?   
"I... I can't do this"  
Pushing past him, Eren ran upstairs. Levi sinking down onto the couch with a deep sigh. This had all gone how he'd thought it would.

A heavy silence hung between the four alpha's. None of them knew what to say. Clearing his throat, Moblit was the first to move   
"I'll go talk to him"  
Kissing Hanji's cheek, Moblit left. Now the three of them were left to stare at the album   
"Levi, don't blame yourself. You acted out of love and when he calms down he's going to see that"  
"Didn't you hear him? I don't think he's going to forgive me"  
Leaning forward, Erwin sighed   
"Did you know he knew who killed Zeke?"  
"Not for sure... but I don't know if he does or doesn't. We all know what he went through. Zeke was murdered in front of him. He spent a week by his body... he's mentioned something similar before... but I just don't know"  
"He seems to believe it... but what's this got to do with his mother and father?"  
"Because of his father, his mother was murdered in front of him"  
Erwin sighed again  
"Yeah. Pretty much. He's talked to his therapist about what happened... but won't up to me. I guess..."  
"Levi, I'm going to stop you there. Don't go there. If we were in danger, wouldn't they have acted by now?"  
"I don't know anymore..."

He felt like he didn't know anything. Everything Eren had ever told him was swirling in his head. He couldn't remember it all with the clarity he usually would. His heart was racing, tears prickling in the corner of his eyes. While he felt like at any moment, he was going to throw his guts up. He wanted to go find Eren, but his boyfriend hated him now... he didn't know how to fix this. How they could move past this... and he had no idea where they went from here.


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As requested, a soft reunion

Sliding down the bathroom door, Eren buried his face in his hands. He was so fucking angry with Levi, and with himself. He'd trusted Levi. He'd trusted him not to betray him. He'd tried to open up to him. He'd tried and he thought he had been. He'd told him about his mother, and about Zeke. He'd told them before that asking too many questions was dangerous. But no one believed him. No one ever believed him. He'd made a deal to keep them all out of it. He'd forgot the past. He wouldn't tell the police what he'd seen, or who was involved... and they'd let him live. He'd promised Reiner he'd never say he was there... he'd leave his and Bertholdt's name out of everything, and when they finally called on him for whatever they wanted, he'd do it... Levi and Hanji they could both use. They were both medically trained... but if they looked too far into his past... he didn't want them to know. He didn't want them to know he'd let the people who murdered Zeke in. He didn't want them to know that in his post heat haze, he'd thrown himself into their touches... or that he'd let himself be mounted because they promised not to hurt Zeke. They'd promised and broken their promises... they were still touching him when Zeke had come home. His brother furious at the sight. He'd tried to save his brother by spreading his legs, but when Zeke started fighting, they'd bashed the shit out of him. They'd held him down and fucked him... he'd tried to fight. When he realised they'd lied, he'd tried to fight...but they'd given him something. Something had been shoved into his mouth when they came through the door. The promise they made had probably meant nothing. They'd left him to die. Reiner and Bertholdt, whom he'd thought were kind of friends, had left him to die while Zeke bled out. His broken body curling into Zeke's as he tried to stop the blood. Zeke had wanted him to run, but he couldn't run.

There was a soft knock on the door behind him. Eren stifling a scream as he clamped his hands over his mouth. In his mind, he was no longer in Hanji and Moblit's guest bathroom. He was there with his brother, and the alpha's who'd hurt him, were coming to hurt him now. The door was locked behind them, but he didn't know how long it would hold. Scrambling across the floor, he climbed into the bathtub, trying to make himself as small as possible. His chest was heaving, his lungs desperately needing oxygen, but his constricted throat refused to allow him to take a breath. They were coming. Levi had met with Armin. They'd made them mad. They had to clean up all their loose ends... they'd kill him, then Levi. Scrunching his eyes closed tightly, his mind conjured up the image of Levi bleeding out beneath his hands. Levi's wet coughs as he told him to run... he couldn't lose Levi. Not to them. He'd been so good. He'd kept his mouth closed. He didn't tell. He didn't tell the police. He didn't trust the police. Zeke had told him they couldn't be trusted. The police had let the alphas who'd tortured him in the basement go... the people who Zeke had tracked down and killed. His brother was a murderer. No. No. They were just trash pretending to be human. They weren't real people. Zeke was good. Zeke was good for him. If he didn't what Zeke said, he was good. No one would hit him. No one would hurt him. He just had to be a good omega.

The knocking on the bathroom door became louder. Eren's senses completely focused on the sound. They'd be here any minute. They'd hurt him... they'd tell Levi what he was really like. That he let them have him. That he let them give him drugs. That he'd called Levi's name as they touched him. Even in the basement, they didn't push into his heat. They did everything but that. Fucking between his thighs and getting off as he cried. All because of his father... his father... his father had made a deal with the wrong people... for drugs and medical certificates... until he'd learned his own son was omega. He'd wanted to sell him off. He disowned him. He hated him. No matter how many times he hid in the wardrobe, his father would find and hurt him... scared beyond words, he didn't notice his hand gone from his mouth or hear his own screams for Zeke. He tore at his chest and legs, trying to get their touch off of him. Not even noticing that he'd wet himself in fear.

 

*  
When Levi heard Eren scream, he was off the sofa in an instant. Running up the stairs, he saw a worried Moblit knocking on the bathroom door with one hand, while trying to jiggle the door handle  
"What's happening?"  
"He's locked the door. I can't get it open"  
Downstairs he could only hear that Eren was screaming, now he could hear that his omega was screaming for Zeke   
"Move"  
"What?"  
"I'll buy you a new fucking door"   
Moblit barely got out the way in time, Levi driving his boot into, over and over, until the lock finally broke, sending the door flying open. Eren's screams were even louder without the buffer of the door. His boyfriend was huddled in the bathtub  
"Levi?"  
"Get your first aid kit. He's hurt himself"  
Moblit sprang into action, while Levi strode over to the bathtub. Lifting Eren out, his boyfriend tried to fight him, smearing blood across his face as he hit him. Vomit was in Eren's lap, and down his chin, his screaming stopping and turning to the whining calls of an omega needing its alpha. Sitting his trembling lover on the toilet, he grabbed Eren's hands to stop him from continuing to hurt himself  
"Levi, I've got the first aid kit. What do you need?"  
"Put it down next to me. His clothes are going to need to be washed, he's thrown up over them"  
"He's got spare clothes here"  
"Good. Help me get him naked"  
Moblit started to stutter something   
"I need to hold his hands down, or he's going to hurt himself again"  
Finally moving, Moblit placed the first aid kit down beside him. Together they had to fight to get the sweater and shirt off him. Eren had tried to get the ribbon off at some point, but had tightened it instead. Moblit was careful to remove it, both of them were surprised Eren hadn't passed out from the way he was gasping like a fish out of water   
"Turn the shower on, then help me get his shoes and pants off"

Eren was shivering so hard that his whole body was nearly spasming as they got him into the shower. His boyfriend screamed the moment the water touched him. His chest and legs had been mostly spared by his clothes, so that was something. Leaving him to wash Eren down, Moblit returned with a fresh change of clothes just as Levi was finishing up. 

With Moblit's help, they got Eren dried and dressed, then into his old bed. Levi throwing the photo album, that had somehow made its way up and into the guest bedroom, a glare. He'd be fucking lucky if Eren ever talked to him again. Tucking Eren in, he slumped down on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands as he started to cry. As far as he could remember, Moblit had never seen him cry. He'd seen him distressed over the first time he'd had had sex with Eren, but he'd never seen him break down and weep tears of earnest. He loved Eren. And this... this what he was scared of. That Eren would panic so badly he'd lose control of himself. He'd been so stupid. Just because Eren had been having a few good weeks, didn't mean today was the right time to gift him the album. He shouldn't have been such a spineless coward. He should have sat Eren down and admitted he'd talked to Armin. He should have told him he'd been given the album... not snuck around. He'd betrayed his boyfriend's trust. The boyfriend who loved him more than anyone he'd ever met, or could remember. His boyfriend who's arms were always warm and open. Who'd let him in, and given himself to him. They'd had sex. Eren had gone to so much effort... but when was the last time he'd done something for him?! Something to make him feel special? The bracelet on Eren's wrist seemed to mock him. There was no way he deserved to give Eren an engagement ring... he'd been stupid to think that far ahead. Or to think maybe a proposal wasn't that far away. Who knew how much damage they'd done? Once again they'd made Eren feel like they didn't trust what he said. He wasn't there. He didn't see Zeke's death. He didn't know what was real and what Eren's mind had crafted to explain the situation. What mattered was, that Eren believed it was real. And he should have believed in Eren more. His soft, sweet omega. 

 

*  
Fever stayed with Eren, Moblit or Hanji stayed by his side to nurse him through the next few days. Eren didn't know that Hanji had told Levi to stay away for now, after he'd begged her not to let Levi seen him. He couldn't remember it, so on top of his fever, he felt incredibly lonely. His old room offered no comfort at all. It wasn't his space anymore. It wasn't his bedroom with his soft sheets and blankets that smelt of Levi. Titan wasn't there to snuggle into, no matter how many times he reached out and patted the bed, the Maine Coon never came for cuddles. He was scared. His mind and body felt off, like two gears out of sync.

It took three very long days for his fever to pass. Waking up alone, he curled into himself as his emotions got the better of him again. It was like being stuck in his post heat depression, without the heat to trigger it. With blurry eyes, he stared straight ahead, the object of his hatred right in front of him. The stupid photo album. Of course he wanted it... a chance to see his mother's face again. But what he didn't want was to put anyone in danger. The people his father had been involved with weren't the kind to take betrayal lightly. Neither were the ones who'd locked him in chains and left him in the basement... They all had friends. They all had family... if word got out... or if word got back to Reiner and Bertholdt... what he wanted wasn't worth it. He had to forget. He had to forget everything from his past, even the people he loved. But... the album was there. It was right there... if Armin had been asking questions about his disappearance, and nothing had happened to him, then maybe it meant there was nothing incriminating in the things he had. Levi said they'd spent the last decade looking for him, but that was another problem. After his mother had died, they'd... he was sure they'd stayed around the area for a little longer... until he was around 11. He was sure of it, because he remembered hiding in his wardrobe at home. But it was so long ago, and all he really had was then night of his mother's death to go by... and those memories were ingrained because of his nightmares. 

Reaching out, he pulled the album onto the bed. His fingers wouldn't grip the battered album properly, it slid from the pillow down to the blankets. He wanted his mum. Pawing it closer, he wriggled to curl around the album. It's scents lingering were tinged with Levi's familiar and safe scent. What had he done? He'd yelled at him. He'd yelled at him and ran... he'd lost his head in the shock of betrayal, and now he didn't have a home anymore. Levi had lied... but so had he. Could their relationship even be the same? He was the omega who'd made a deal with his brother's killers. Who'd let them do things to him... and then lied to the police. He was a bad omega...

He'd fallen back to sleep without meaning to, he woke to find the album still in his hold. Pulling himself up, he placed the album on his lap. He owed Levi, to at least look at the album. Opening the album, the paper crinkled with age. The first page was a simple white piece of paper, turned yellow. Taking a deep breath as he slid the paper back, his heart ached. The first real page of the album was him. Photos from his birth... when no one knew what was coming. When his mother was alive and his father loved him... flicking through the album, his heart ached, gasping audibly when he finally came across a photo of him with his mother. Her face so much like his, and the smile across his lips pure and genuine. A mother's love. He'd forgotten her smile... and Levi had given that back to him... he wanted to go home. He wanted to go back to Levi. His alpha had betrayed him, but he'd done it out of love. Levi loved him. Levi was his home. He missed his home and his love. With shaking hands, he peeled off the plastic off the album page, then slowly peeled the photo free. This was his mum. He wanted to show Levi his mum.

Having not left the bed for anything other to use the bathroom, his body felt grimy and stiff... but the need to see Levi was more important. He didn't know what he was going to say... or if Levi would even listen to him. If he'd want to know him. He just wanted Levi to see his mum... and to maybe find the words to tell his alpha he was sorry. Walking downstairs, he had no idea how crumpled and dishevelled he looked. Moblit leapt from his seat  
"Eren, are you ok?"  
Sniffling, he nodded shyly, unable to look Moblit in the eyes   
"I... want to see Levi"  
"Levi's at work right now... we can call him if you want..."  
"I want to show him my mum"  
"Is that what you have there? In your hands?"  
Eren nodded, letting Moblit come to him rather than taking the few steps closer. Gently Moblit's right hand wrapped around his left, using his left hand to slide the photo out of his hold  
"She's very pretty. She looks a lot like you"  
"I want to show him... I want to go home to Levi"  
"Are you sure? You still look sick. Levi would never let me hear the end of it, if I let you go home looking like that"  
"But... Moblit, will be let me come home?"  
His stupid teary eyes leaked fresh tears. Wrapping him in a one armed hug, Moblit nodded, before kissing Eren's sweaty hair  
"Eren, Levi loves you more than anything. He's been worried sick about you"  
"I hurt him"  
"You two had a fight. That's all..."  
"He... he still wants me?"  
"Levi is crazy about you. Here, let's get you showered and dressed. We can go for a little drive back to the apartment, get you settled in before Levi comes home? How does that sound?"  
"G-good..."  
"That's it. And we'll put that photo back in the album for now. So nothing happens to it"  
"O-ok... he... he won't be mad?"  
Moblit kissed his hair again, before turning and sliding his arm down, holding him up by the waist  
"If he's mad, I'll punch him in the face for both our sakes"  
If he wasn't so drained he would have laughed, instead he nodded weakly, and mumbled   
"Please don't hit him"  
"I make no promises"

 

*  
Levi sighed heavily as he scrubbed his face. Not for the first time, since Christmas Day, did he dread walking into his empty apartment. Titan was there, but thanks to his less than stellar behaviour and the throwing of the Christmas tree, his cat wasn't talking to him. He didn't blame the tom. He'd lost control of his temper and alpha, so badly that he'd scared himself. The bathroom mirror had been replaced, as had the TV... which took the full brunt of the flying tree. It was just... when Hanji had told him Eren didn't want to see him... it felt like everything between them was over. Like someone had pulled the rug out from under him, it was all he could do to remain standing. Fishing his keys from his pocket, he let himself in. His gaze firmly at his feet, even though he knew Titan wasn't coming to greet him. Sighing again, he dropped his keys and wallet down on into the bowl, nearly jumping out of his skin when he heard someone clear their throat. He'd been so out of it that he hadn't noticed he wasn't alone. Levi's eyes widened, sitting on the sofa was Eren, Moblit holding the omega's hand. Whispering something to Eren, Moblit stood, walking over to him. Placing his hand on Levi's shoulder, Moblit leaned in  
"He's a little nervous, but he wanted to come home. I'm leaving him with you. But. If you make him cry again, I will punch you myself"  
Moblit was a teddy bear and a pacifist. Levi didn't feel particularly threatened, though it did say a lot for the man to be willing to throw a blow. Eren really was special to everyone who met him  
"Eren, don't forget. If he says anything, you let me know. Ok?"  
"Thank you, Moblit"

Leaving them alone, Levi stared at Eren. He didn't know what to do with himself. He wanted to rush over and pull Eren into his arms. The omega looked so vulnerable... and so small, despite his tall frame. Taking a measured step forward, Eren opened his mouth, before closing it... looking down to the piece of paper on the coffee table. He was the alpha. He should make the first move  
"Ere-..."  
"Levi..."  
Their names overlapped. Shooting up from the sofa, Levi caught his omega with practiced ease  
"Eren, I am so sorry..."  
"No! No... I'm sorry! I'm sorry"  
"No. This is my fault, I ignored your wishes"  
"Because you love me...?"  
"I do. I do, so fucking much. I'm sorry"  
Holding Eren tighter, his boyfriend clutched at his jacket   
"I'm so scared... I don't want to lose you"  
"No... I'm sorry. This is on me"  
Eren suddenly pulled away from him, his omega stumbling in his rush to grab the same bit of paper off the coffee table. Catching him by the arm, Eren didn't even seem to notice he'd nearly fallen as he shoved the paper at Levi's chest, before trying to hide back against him. 

Having to shamefully stand on his tippy toes to see over Eren's shoulder what he was supposed to be looking at, he sighed softly. It was clear the woman in the photo was his mother. The resemblance undeniable   
"Your mum?"  
"Mhmm... I'd forgotten her smile... Levi... Levi, I did something bad"  
"Whatever it is, we'll figure it out"  
"I promised them I wouldn't tell..."  
Oh... that...   
"Eren, you don't have to tell"  
"I'm sorry... I.. I made them a promise. I promised... I let them do things. They told me they wouldn't hurt Zeke... they lied... they lied and they killed him"  
This wasn't the reunion he'd prayed might happen. He didn't want Eren to hurt himself again, or to send himself into heat over it all... if Eren wanted to tell him, he'd listen, but only if that was what Eren truly wanted  
"Eren, no. It's ok... hey, it's ok. You don't have to force yourself"  
Eren let out a whimper, his boyfriend's knees giving out  
"I let them... mount me... and they still killed him... I can't lose you. I can't tell and lose you... I love you"

Trying to juggle Eren's limp form and not damage the photo, Levi nearly tripped over Eren getting them both or the sofa. Sitting Eren down, he sat on the coffee table, placing the photo down carefully so he could take both of his loves hands in his. His heart was racing. His alpha roaring. Eren said he hadn't been sexually violated... but that was because he thought giving himself to them was consensual. His boyfriend was too sweet to realise the kind of alphas who did such thing, would never keep a promise. Without the presence of semen, and a week to "heal", any damage Eren did have could easily have been explained by him having been in heat. Eren had believed it all his fault so thoroughly, he'd denied it all completely   
"I don't know who I am anymore. You... you did this to me. All I wanted to be was a dancer... but you changed me. I fell in love with you and everything fell apart... I want... I want you to put me back to how I was... or take responsibility"  
"You're Eren and you are my omega..."  
Despite the turmoil inside, Levi's voice didn't waver  
"... and I wouldn't change you for the world. I swear to you, I will never hide anything from you again... and I will take care of you. Your happiness will be my main priority and responsibility for the rest of my life"  
Eren's bottom lip was quivering   
"I'm a bad omega... I told... I told them I wouldn't... I let them make me take drugs and..."  
Eren hiccuped out a sob  
"And let them touch me... Zeke was screaming. He was so mad... they said they wouldn't hurt them. Why would they lie? Zeke didn't hurt them... if I'd never been born, no one would have had to die"  
"Eren, no... no. This is not your fault. You're the most amazing omega I have ever met. You're selfless and kind. And so strong. Even on your bad days, you keep going and you make me so proud"  
"I just want to be good"  
Pulling on Eren's hands, he ended up with his boyfriend in his lap   
"You are. You're so good. I promise you. You don't have to tell me. Ok. I promised I wouldn't ask and I went behind your back to find out"  
"I can't tell..."  
"I know... I know..."  
"Why... why are you like this? I lied... I..."  
"You wanted to protect all of us. I understand now"  
"They're bad people. I don't want anyone else to die"  
Kissing Eren's hair, he nuzzled into the still damp locks. At least Moblit has made sure Eren was showering and taking care of himself   
"I get it. I won't say anything. You're safe with me"  
"I don't want to feel like this anymore..."  
"Like what?"  
"Sick... I'm so sick of it"  
"Have you eaten anything?"  
"N-no... I feel too sick"  
Nope. Fuck Moblit. The alpha should have at least fed Eren. He acted like Eren's surrogate father, so he should at least know how to feed him  
"You need to eat. You've been sick since Christmas"  
"I don't know how long..."  
"Christmas was 5 days ago..."  
And he'd felt every fucking second of it  
"I... ruined everything, didn't I?"  
"No. No, that was on me. You did nothing wrong. Now, if I make you something to eat, will you try?"  
Eren nodded, Levi finding himself smiling   
"Ok... do you want to sit on the sofa? Or the kitchen bench?"  
He'd told Eren off for sitting on the bench before, but he was so relieved to have his boyfriend home that he was willing to break his own rules  
"Be.. sofa"  
"Bench it is"

 

Levi managed to get Eren to eat some heated can soup and half a slice of bread. It really wasn't enough, but it was something. After eating, Eren started acting nervous again. When Levi went to move him off the counter, he apologised for being dirty. Ignoring he comment, he carried Eren back to the sofa, laying back with Eren laying along him. His lover's wide green eyes were staring into his own, clearly wanting to say something   
"What's wrong?"  
"Can we look at the album? Together?"  
"You didn't look at all?"  
Eren shook his head  
"Wh-when I saw mum... I wanted to show you her... I forgot her smile... you gave that back to me, and I wanted to show you right away... but Moblit said you were working... if you're too tired, we don't have to"  
"Eren, I would love to"  
So something good had come out of this all... Eren had his mother back, or at least the memory of her smile.

Retrieving the album, Eren placed it down on the coffee table. Levi was forced to sit up so he could see it. He could see how nervous his omega was, but this was something Eren had to do for himself. All he could do was sit beside him and be there when he needed him. Opening the first page, it was the one he'd seen before. Neither of them spoke as Eren moved through the photos until he hit the page where the photo he'd been clutching came from  
"You should put it back in the album, so nothing happens to it"  
"I..."  
"When we get a proper frame, we can put it on display"  
Eren nodded quickly, one hand going to Levi's leg as the other carefully slid the photo off the table. Looking to him with his doey eyes, Levi automatically moved to peel back the plastic. The album was old, and probably not acid free. He'd have to buy Eren a new one, and take a copy of the photos with his camera. He didn't have photos of his childhood, not like this and now Eren had a copy, it would be cruel to take that from him. Placing the photo back in its spot, Eren pressed it down carefully, before looking to him  
"We'll get a frame the next time we go shopping, or we can look online?"  
Nodding, Eren was still struggling with parting with the photo, even though it meant keeping it safe.

They were about half way through the album before Eren sat back, pushing it away from him and drawing his knees up. Sliding the album to him, he stared at each photo until he found what had set him off. Eren in the arms of a tall man, who kissing his cheek  
"That's my dad"  
Eren mumbled it into his knees, confirming Levi's suspicions. Peeling the plastic back, he removed it from the album, before placing it face down on the coffee table and flipping the page. The next two pages were filled with photos of Eren and his father. The man had once loved his son, that was clear. But Eren presenting as an omega... he didn't understand how a parent could hate their own child for their dynamic. With Eren being an omega, there was a higher chance of their child presenting as an omega. They didn't even have a child, but he already loved it and its invisible dynamic  
"Do you want me to check the rest of the album?"  
"N-no... it... just took me by surprise"  
Uncurling, Eren nuzzled into his arm until Levi slung it around his shoulder. Lifting the album into his lap, he opened to the next page... to find more photos of Grisha. Removing them, he placed them down in the pile and turned the page again.

When they got the photos of Eren, Armin and Mikasa, Levi pointed out who they were to his boyfriend. Even at a young age, Mikasa looked pissed off at the world. Eren didn't ask to know anything about them, so Levi didn't provide the details. Continuing to flick through, they reached the end. Levi didn't know how Eren felt about it all, but he was exhausted. Now that his boyfriend was home, all he wanted to do was cuddle up with him... and track down the fuckers that had dared to touch his omega... though it was safer for everyone if he stayed put. He had no idea what he'd do to them, but he wanted it to be slow and painful, and completely humiliating. Rubbing Eren's arm, his omega sighed softly  
"Are you ok?"  
"I feel sick"  
"No better?"  
"No... my stomach feels really gross"  
"Alright. It's bedtime. I still need to take a shower, but there's a fat cat around here somewhere who missed the fuck out of you"  
"Titan's on my bed... you took the Christmas tree down?"  
"Uh. Yeah..."  
It survived being thrown, but was shoved into the spare room. He didn't want Eren to feel guilted over its prone state, and the dead TV. That was, if his omega had intended to come home to break up with him  
"... I didn't know if you'd come home"  
"I'm sorry"  
"No, it's all ok. It's in the past. Right now, I just want to focus on the future"  
"I foresee sleep"  
"Does it couldn't since I told you it was bed time?"  
"It totally counts... um... can you grab a bucket?"  
"That bad?"  
"I think it's stress. I was so nervous you'd throw me out"  
"I would never throw you out. I'm working tomorrow and New Year's Eve. But we can still do something together"  
"I think I'd like that..."  
"Good"

Carrying Eren in his arms, his boyfriend felt so right against him. Stripping Eren down to his underwear, the scratches he'd managed to inflict were mostly gone. Eren's chest saved by Hanji's ugly as fuck Christmas sweater. Making sure the bucket was within reach, he retrieve Titan for Eren, before heading to shower. He'd have to call Hanji and fill her in on what Eren had said, about the drugs and sex, so as to prevent her accidentally putting her foot in it again... though now knowing his lover had been assaulted, it explained the syphillis and the dirty needle... but it didn't explain the lack of drugs in Eren's system... he had so many questions, but once again, he'd promised not to pry...


	35. Chapter 35

New Year's Eve rivalled Christmas Day on suckery. It was a clusterfuck of horny alphas and slutty omegas, and for some unknown reason, Levi and Erwin were stuck working an "exclusive" party for some pop idol Levi hadn't even heard of. Normally there would be no way that he could legally bring Eren to work, as anything other than a patient, but with the help of Erwin, his boyfriend was sitting in the medical marquee handing out bottles of water to those who were smart enough to stay hydrated. He didn't want to leave Eren home alone, not when his boyfriend still wasn't feeling great. Both Hanji and Moblit were working, and Eren didn't know any of their friends well enough to spend a night at their place. So there they were, with about 200 other people, because 200 people totally meant exclusive. If it was the idol playing over the speakers, the man really needed a wake up check. Or his balls to drop... either, either. Whichever came first. Still, despite feeling as if he'd drawn the short straw, it was still better than being out on the streets. The number of people who decided drunk driving was perfectly fine, was still mind boggling.

Having strapped the third ankle of a woman suffering thanks to her inappropriate shoes, he sighed to himself   
"Don't be like that, you were young once"  
"What do you mean once?"  
"Don't think I haven't noticed those grey hairs"  
Rolling his eyes, Levi stripped his disposable gloves off  
"How the fuck did we end up here?"  
"Because you were in such a rotten mood, no one wanted you out there and dealing with casualties"  
"I was not in a rotten mood"  
"Right. Tell that to your TV"  
He'd only told Erwin about it, as he had no idea what a good replacement model would be. He'd checked the buyers guide, but to him it was all the same and he wasn't about to waste money on a TV that wasn't going to last   
"It's fucking fine. I'm getting a water, do you want one?"  
"If you and Eren..."  
"I'm going to stop you right there. We have a job to do"  
"You can still dance in the marquee"  
"Eren's sick. I fucking told you that"  
"He looks like he wants to be out there"  
"He's not even supposed to be here in the first place. Don't start"  
"I'm just saying... he's even dressed for it"  
Being on a rooftop, the air was freezing, yet Eren was wearing a pair of torn white jeans with a loose blue shirt. Levi had given him his second Paramedic jacket, only for Eren to leave it over the back of chair, rather than wearing the damn thing. At least he hadn't left it down in the ambulance. Pushing himself out his chair, two very drunk women staggered over to him, one limping. He was seriously done with all this  
"Excuse me! Can my friend get a bandaid?! And your number!"  
The woman's voice was obnoxious as fuck. The pair giggling as they nearly spilt their drinks over each other, looking to Erwin, his friend shrugged  
"My friend will help you out"  
Stumbling forward the friend needing the bandaid crashed into him "accidentally", cold vodka slushy landing down the side or his pants  
"You're so strong"  
Fluttering her eyelashes, Levi pushed the drunk woman away. He wanted to shove her off him. Before any more of her revolting scent could get on him  
"Ladies, what can I help you with"  
He didn't know how Erwin was so smooth with both men and women, but he was grateful for the out. The moment both women were taken in by Erwin's charms, Levi darted over to Eren.

"Well, someone's popular"  
Eren didn't sound impressed at all. He couldn't help it if someone tried to hit on him. He didn't ask for it, or appreciate it  
"You know I'm gay, right?"  
"I would hope so... Sorry. I know it's not your fault. I'm just... I don't know"  
"You're allowed to be jealous"  
"I can't help it. If people knew what you were really like, I'd never stand a chance"  
"Don't say that. You're the one I'm going to be going home with after all of this"  
"Mhmm... that's true. How's strapping ankles working out for you?"  
Grabbing a bottle of water, Levi sighed  
"It wouldn't be so bad if people wore more appropriate shoes"  
"That's never going to happen. Everyone wants to look sexy at these kind of things. Everyone wants to be up on that stage, with all eyes on them"  
"I can't think of anything worse. Erwin said it's fine if you want to go dance or take a break"  
"It's fine... I don't really want to be that far away from you right now"  
"You don't want to be out there dancing?"  
Eren held up his hand, bringing his thumb and pointer together until the gap was tiny  
"Just a little. It's fine, really. This guy's awful"  
"He really is. I know this probably isn't a great way to celebrate New Years, but if nothing happens we're off when the party ends"  
"They all look like they're going to be passed out before the clock even strikes 12"  
"Pretty much. There's an after party until sunrise"  
"I don't know what the appeal of rooftops are... I mean, sure they have walls and glass... but that's a nope"  
"I don't know either. This event's listed as exclusive. I don't think I even know 200 people, let alone want to party with them"  
"Levi, I don't think I want to think about how many people are standing on this roof right now"  
Draining half the bottle of water, Levi looked out across the crowd. Set in the corner of the roof, they really didn't have a great view of the stage of anything. As it was, if something was to happen, they'd have to try and get the gurney through the crowd and to the elevator near the stage. For a smaller party, this place could work, but for 200 people, it really didn't, even after all it's fancy conversions  
"Looks like you're about to have your hands full. Give me your water and I'll keep it separate from the rest"  
Leaning down, Levi stole a kiss from Eren   
"Thanks. You're doing a great job"  
Eren mumbled something, as Levi moved away from him. Two tall men were walking towards him, one sporting a bleeding nose. Either the guy had snorted too much coke, or he'd gotten into a fight. Honestly, both were just as likely as each on a night like this.

 

*  
Eren was bored. Really, really bored. He'd told Levi he didn't want to dance because he didn't want his boyfriend to worry about him... not after his small jealousy flare up. He knew Levi was gorgeous, but watching beautiful women throwing themselves at his boyfriend wasn't doing his mood any favours. It was sweet of Levi to not want to leave him home alone. Like, really sweet. It was just... handing out the odd bottle of water was boring. He'd brought his phone, yet he had no one to talk to. Levi was already here, and Hanji was working in the ER tonight. As for Marco... yeah. No. Hanji had tried to fix their friendship by messaging Marco from his phone while he'd been sick. Finding 5 new messages from Marco, he'd felt too guilty not to reply... they traded half a dozen messages, before Marco started complaining about how exhausted having a baby was... he adored Mina. He adored Mina and Eren was still happy for him, he just didn't need to know that she cried for hours or how dirty nappies were. Leaning out and stretching over the table in front of him, he yawned  
"Alright there, Eren?"  
Jumping at Erwin's voice, Erwin laughed   
"I didn't meant to scare you"  
"Tell that to my heart... do you want a water?"  
"No, I was going to send you a mission"  
Perking up, he looked up to Erwin, to avoid looking straight at his crotch  
"A mission? You make it sound like a game"  
"Just trying to creatively ask you to go grab us a couple of orange juices from the bar. All the drinks here are free, thanks to the sponsors, so you don't need to worry about money"  
"I can do that. How many do you want?"  
"Three"  
"Three?"  
"One each. It's not quite champagne, but we can't drink on the job"  
Eren was pretty sure they weren't supposed to be getting drinks from the bar... but then again, he wasn't even supposed to be here  
"I think I can manage that"  
"Great. I'd normally send Levi..."  
Erwin let his sentence trail off, Eren peaking around the man to watch his boyfriend glare at man sitting with a disposable vomit bag up to his mouth  
"He's not always a people person"  
"Exactly"  
"I'll be right back"

The bar was near the stage and the elevators, its sleek black design was remarkably clean despite the number of drunk customers surrounding it. Finding a gap, Eren waited until one of the female bartenders finally noticed him. Coming over to him, she smiled sweetly   
"Hey cutie! What can I get for you?"  
"Three orange juices please!"  
"Just orange juice? Let me make you something special instead"  
"I'm working! With the paramedics"  
The girl nodded, her smile never faltering  
"Ok! Give me a second!"  
Bumped from behind, Eren span round. Whoever had bumped him was already lost in the crowd, looking back, to the bartender, he smiled as she placed the first drink up  
"You're wasted as a paramedic, with a face like that, you could do anything"  
"My alpha's the paramedic, I'm just on a ride along"  
That's what the people on TV called it... for a moment he wondered if he should have lied  
"That must be a hard job"  
"It has its moments"  
More than Eren would like to say. He was truly in awe over people who could do this everyday. Placing the three juices in front of him, the woman nodded  
"What colour straws did you want?"  
"Huh?"  
"Straws? What colour?"  
"Oh..."  
"Just so you can tell them apart"  
Holding up three straws, Eren took the pink one, dropping it into the first cup. The bartender beamed at him, dropping a blue and yellow straw in the other two cups  
"Have a good night sweaty! If you need another round, make sure you come find me"

Returning to Erwin and Levi, the man who'd been vomiting was now gone and Levi was sitting in the chair Eren had abandoned. Placing the three cups down, taking his own drink with a smile   
"Three juices"  
"Good work. How was the party?"  
"Noisy..."  
Taking a sip of his juice, he nearly choked. It definitely wasn't just orange juice in there. The after taste was of rum... well... he hadn't expected that  
"Everything ok?"  
Eren pulled a face, poking his tongue out as Levi picked up his own juice  
"She put rum in my drink"  
"Technically you're not working"  
He couldn't help but be confused. How could she have known he'd pick the first cup?  
"I wasn't expecting it... you don't think she put it in all three?"  
Levi took a sip of his juice, before shaking his head   
"Nope. Looks like you made a friend"  
"I told her I was working..."  
"Eren, it's ok. One rum isn't going to hurt. I don't mind if you want to have a drink or two, because I know you know your limits"  
He still felt guilty... and he really wasn't sure he wanted to drink if Levi wasn't   
"Are you sure? You guys can't drink"  
"You're young. Enjoy yourself a little. You're technically not here, remember"  
Placing his cup down, he walked around the table and sank down into Levi's lap, forcing his boyfriend to place his own drink down   
"Thank you... for letting me see you work. You're really amazing"

"What about me? Am I amazing?"  
Erwin ruined the moment. He was just about to kiss Levi, and now Erwin was standing over them. Levi didn't seem to care though, his boyfriend pulling him in for a deep kiss. Breaking apart with a giggle, Eren climbed from Levi's lap  
"You both are amazing"  
"Oi, brat. Don't go lumping him in the same group as him"  
"Your both amazing, but I love Levi. So he's more amazing, because he puts up with me"  
Erwin laughed   
"I won't take it too personally. Good job on the juice"

With Levi and Erwin returning to work, Eren sipped on his rum. He still couldn't work out why he'd been given a rum and orange juice instead of just an orange juice, but it had worked to ease some of the tension he didn't know he was carrying. He was starting to feel good. Like really good... to the point he was starting to slick, not that he had noticed, or realised that he shouldn't be this excited from just a little alcohol.

 

*  
Asking his permission, Eren disappeared into the crowd on the way to the bathroom. It was nearly midnight and the party was well underway. Having promised to return before the countdown started, Levi wasn't particularly concerned about his omega. Well, no more than the usual amount. Even with the drugs and horny alphas, he was trying to show Eren he could trust him. Especially when it came to something as simple as going to the bathroom. Besides, he couldn't have followed if he'd wanted to. He was stuck babysitting a distressed beta who'd accidentally gotten between an alpha and their omega. To him, it was hardly worth all the tears, but with the beta being asthmatic, they'd had to administer Ventolin and oxygen. Levi now monitoring their breathing, while Erwin was taking care of another fucking rolled ankle.

When Eren didn't come back by the time the beta had calmed down, Levi was worried. It shouldn't take nearly an hour for a quick trip to the bathroom. Catching Erwin's eye, Erwin nodded, mouthing at him to "go find Eren". He didn't need to be told twice. Erwin had everything in hand and the beta had organised a friend to come collect them, they'd be staying in Erwin's care until their friend messaged they were here.

Heading down to the bathrooms, as the event was using the bathrooms of the 30th floor restaurant, he could smell Eren as he let himself in. Walking over to the only locked cubicle, he knocked lightly  
"Eren?"  
The lock turned, Eren opening the door enough for him to slip in, and lock it behind him. From the looks of it, Eren had been crying, but that didn't explain the hues of arousal in his otherwise sour scent   
"Hey, what happened?"  
"I can't calm down"  
Squatting down, because there was no way in hell he was kneeling on a public bathroom floor, Levi took Eren's face in his hands, his boyfriend nuzzling into his touch  
"Tell me what happened"  
"It's embarrassing..."  
"Tell me anyway"  
"I... came down here and... I started feeling weird... I... slicked, a lot"  
"Weird how?"  
Eren's eyes dropped to his crotch, his pants still unzipped  
"Right. Ok... you're ok. Where's your phone?"  
"In... your jacket... I couldn't message you... then they came in"  
"Who? Who came in?"  
"I don't know... a drunk couple... they had sex"  
His boyfriend must not have been able to stop himself reacting from the sounds and smell of the two people who'd fucked. Taking a deep breath to centre himself, Levi forced a smile, his voice soft   
"Can you walk? Can you stand?"  
Eren looked down at his crotch, his hands squeezing Levi's   
"Do you want me to help you clean up?"  
With a small sniffle, Eren nodded  
"P-please"

There was minimal come to clean up, most of the mess being slick across Eren's thighs. Making sure Eren was cleaned down completely, he helped Eren straighten out his clothes. Still tense from everything, Eren stayed close as he guided him over to the sink to wash his hands... which he had to do for him  
"Ready to head back up?"  
"Y-yeah... fuck... I feel anxious"  
Taking off his jacket, he forced Eren into it  
"I'll swap and wear the one upstairs, I know this one doesn't smell great..."  
"N-no. No. It's still warm... and smells like you"  
Kissing Eren softly, he indulged in allowing himself a few moments to nuzzle into Eren's face  
"You're ok and I've got you"  
"Sorry for being anxious"  
"You don't need to apologise for something you can't control. Let's head back up"

Walking out the elevator, Levi had Eren in his arms. His omega had bumped squarely into a strange alpha and nearly fainted on the spot. After that, it was just safer to carry him. Stepping off the elevator, he realised everyone was yelling. Counting down to New Year, with the shitty pop idol leading them... moving through the crowd of people, they just reached the marquee as the clock turned to 12:00. Pushing his lips to Levi, the alpha could feel the love pouring from his boyfriend. Returning the kiss, they were in there own world as fireworks lit up the sky, shot off from a building down the street, and tinting the sky with their bright colours. None of this registered. The pair of lovers in their own bubble, entirely formed by their own desperate love for each other. Sharing several long and slow kisses, Eren's eyes were sparkling as Levi cupped his face. This beautiful omega was all his, the smile on his lip for him alone  
"Happy New Year, Levi"  
"Happy New Year, Eren. God... you're so fucking beautiful"  
Eren snorted, lowering his head to Levi's shoulder   
"I love you, Levi. So much... "  
"You too, brat"  
"When we get home, I want to... I want to be with you"  
"Eren..."  
"Levi, it's a new year. I want to be with you"  
"Then stay with me forever"  
Eren nodded, nuzzling into Levi's neck as he held him tighter   
"I want to be with you, always and forever... even if I fuck up. Don't let me go... you're my home"  
"And you're my hope"

"And you guys are so disgusting. Let me in on this love"  
Throwing his arms around them, Eren yelped in surprise, clearly not expecting the moment to be interrupted by the big bear on an alpha  
"Really? You couldn't have just stayed on the sidelines and watched?"  
Erwin laughed, lifting them both off their feet momentarily   
"Free love for all"  
Raising his head, Eren smacked Erwin in the nose. Erwin jerking back with laugh   
"I suppose I deserved that"  
"You definitely deserved that. Now stop annoying us"  
Unwrapping his legs, Eren stood, leaning in to quickly kiss his cheek   
"You've got to get back to work... but don't forget. When we get home, I'm all yours"  
Shit... he wanted to say "fuck it all" to his responsibilities... but life didn't work that way... fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

 

*  
Stripping each other down, Levi was too tired for sex, but they were taking another step together in their relationship. The idea of showering with someone wasn't his idea of kinky. Peppering soft kisses along Eren's shoulder, he drew his lover backwards into the running water.

With soft kisses and gentle touches, they washed each other down, nothing outside of the world mattered in this moment. Standing before Eren, he felt a naked kind of vulnerability. There was nothing at all between them. Their chest against each other as his taller lover washed the drags of conditioner from his hair. He loved him. He'd loved him and he'd lost him, but Eren had come back to him. Home to him. Reaching behind him, Eren turned the taps off, before taking Levi's hand  
"I want you..."  
His tiredness was forgotten as he mutely nodded.

Not drying off, the water that would normally drive him crazy was forgotten. Climbing backwards onto their bed, Eren blushed brilliantly as he spread his legs. Crawling up to join him, Levi stared down at the treasure beneath him. Leaning forward, he kissed Eren's lower stomach, the omega letting out a breathy laugh  
"Come up here, I want to see your face"  
Kissing his way up, Eren rewarded him with a brilliant smile. It was scary and confusing as hell to think his boyfriend had been crying in the bathroom over his own urges only hours earlier. Kissing Eren's soft plump lips, his boyfriend kissed back eagerly, a long leg wrapping around the back of his own to draw him closer. Parting, Levi's lips were still against Eren's   
"Are you sure you want this?"  
"More than anything. I want to feel connected with the man I love"  
"I'm so lucky. What did I do to deserve you?"  
"I'm the lucky one... I want to feel your seed filling me, and know it's my alpha's, no one else..."  
Like fuck he could say no that.

Swept away with gentle touches and kisses, Eren opened beautifully beneath him. Moaning openly, Eren trembled, clamping around his fingers as he slowly prepped his love. Not wanting Eren to feel any pain at all, it was a struggle not to devour his sweet omega. Widening him to take three fingers, Eren's back arched, precum catching in the condom, moaning breathily   
"Levi... I'm ready"  
"Are you sure..."  
"Yes..."

Burying himself in Eren's soft heat, his omega came hard with a lewd whine. Tentatively rocking his hips, Eren's hands clawed at his back, gasping as his scent grew sweeter and sweeter. Pulling on Eren's hips, his love wrapped his legs around the backs of Levi's thighs   
"More... give me more... give me everything"  
Lifting Eren's right leg, he rolled his omega to his side pushing his knee up, Eren mewing as slammed in harder. After hours of having arousal simmer in the depths of his belly, his orgasm was rushing to build  
"Behind... from behind..."  
Pulling out so just the tip of his oozing dick was still buried in his love, Eren gathered his long legs up beneath him. His hands gripping Levi's bedhead as he pushed back against him with a gasp  
"Levi... Levi..."  
Rising up to push in back in, Eren threw his head back  
"Fuck... there..."  
With Eren's nape exposed, he cursed himself for not being able to mark his omega for life. The best he could do was mouth at the spot as his knot formed and his orgasm washed through him. Coming with a cry, Eren fell back against him, too tired to hold himself any longer. Pulling him flush, Levi's right hand worker the last of Eren's come from his softening member, as his own come continued to flood into his lover. With his left hand, he rubbed Eren's stomach, both he and his alpha wishing their Eren wasn't on contraceptives. Continuing to rub, Eren's head lolled back onto his shoulder as he purred  
"I love you. So much"  
Clumsily kissing Eren's nose, his boyfriend sighed softly   
"Levi, things are going to be alright, aren't they?"  
"Of course they are. You have nothing worry about. Why don't you just get some sleep now?"  
"Mmm... sleep sounds like a good plan... you won't leave me behind, will you?"  
"No, Eren. I won't leave you"

Spending the day wrapped up in each other, Eren was adorable. He didn't want to get out of bed, even for food. Leaving his sleepy lover tangled in their sheets, Levi made him a full breakfast. Tomatoes, eggs, bacon, toast, pancakes with syrup, and hash browns. More food than either of them couple possible eat. Using the teapot Eren had gifted him for Christmas, he made sure to put sugar and milk in Eren's cup, before placing it on the breakfast tray. It'd been a gift from Hanji years ago, and until he'd met Eren, he'd never thought he'd have a use for it. Carrying the loaded tray into bedroom, Eren was laying in his usual spot, blinking at him sleepily  
"I missed you"  
"I was making breakfast"  
"I'd rather have you"  
"Sit up for me"

Sliding in beside Eren, his boyfriend curled into his side  
"You didn't have to make all of this"  
"I told you I'd take care of you"  
"You keep spoiling me like this, and I won't be responsible for what happens next"  
"What happens next?"  
"I plant myself right here in your bed and never leave"  
"As tempting as that sounds, you need to shower after breakfast"  
"Or we could skip breakfast"  
Sliding his hand down between Levi's thighs, Eren rubbed at his half hard dick. He couldn't help but be aroused, the smell of their sex still hung in the air, and Eren's new found confidence left him drunk  
"Eren..."  
"Levi..."  
Pulling Eren's hand away, his boyfriend pouted  
"Breakfast first"

Eating most of what he was offered, Eren was still being a horny shit. Leaving one hand beneath the blanket, he insisted on slowly jerking Levi until he finally couldn't take it any longer. Moving the tray to the floor, Eren was in his lap before he'd even sat up properly. His omega struggling with his the waist band of his boxers, while wriggling his soaked arse against Levi's leg. With a possessive growl, Levi pushed him back, freeing himself and pushing into Eren's sopping wet opening, his lover offering no resistance after their earlier round  
"Fuck... Levi... hard... need your knot"  
Clinging to him, Eren moaned as Levi started to fuck him hard and fast, both too worked up with need. Riding him hard and fast, their orgasms hitting simultaneously, Levi falling against Eren's chest as he panted words of praise and pressed kisses to Eren's heaving chest. He didn't care what the repercussions were of this moment, only caring that as long as Eren wanted him, he'd there for him.


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry not sorry. It was coming for some time

Levi had two days off work after the New Years party. His alpha had been sweet and attentive, not leaving his side after the spent all of New Year's Day in bed. Since telling Levi what he could, he felt better about being sexually intimate with his boyfriend. Levi didn't find him dirty, or hate him. He accepted him and all his bad sides. Having spent all his time with Levi, and Titan once the fat cat had realised they weren't going to be having sex nonstop, he was slightly disappointed when the time came for Levi to return to work. Levi hadn't seemed too happy about leaving either, Eren having to playfully push him out the door. The problem was, that now Levi was gone, Eren really didn't want to do anything. He knew Levi wouldn't mind if he didn't, but he did... and besides, he'd been sitting idle for too long. Seeing Erwin and Levi working hard at the New Year's party only confirmed the fact that he really wanted to do something more with his life. He loved Levi, and everything he did for him, but it was time he started looking for a job and a way to contribute to their small household. Stooping down to scoop Titan up, the cat tried to escape his hold, before giving up within seconds. Dropping down on the sofa, he stood Titan up on his legs, blowing a raspberry against his belly  
"Titan, what do you think I should do? I'm not as smart or confident as Levi, and I didn't even go to high school. I can barely do maths and even though I know more words now, but that's only because Levi taught me... and now I'm asking a cat for advice... you're so lucky..."  
Letting out a rowr, Titan wasn't supplying him anything helpful. Lowering him, he cuddled him up to his chest  
"I think you need a bath, Mister Titan... I'm going to give you a bath, and then we'll dry you down and make you look all handsome. You're not even going to recognise yourself in the mirror... but first, I need to put the washing on"

With the washing on, and Titan in the bathtub, Eren was covered in soap when he heard the apartment door open   
"Levi?!"  
"No! Sorry, it's just me!"  
Appearing in the bathroom doorway, Hanji was munching down a thick cream donut  
"What are you doing?"  
"Giving Titan a bath. His fur is so thick that all sorts of things get tangled up in it... Levi didn't say you were coming around today"  
"Levi didn't know. Anyway... my Maternity leave has finally come through, and I need a partner in crime"  
"Aren't you in the process of growing one?"  
Hanji laughed, cream dropping down between her boobs. Trying to clean it up, she only made things worse  
"Put the donut down and use some toilet paper"  
"Did you just tell a pregnant woman not to eat?! How could you?"  
"Easily. And what do you need help with?"  
"Well... you don't have to say yes... but I really, really need you"  
"I doubt you really need me"  
"But I do! Moblit's parents are flying in. I don't know why, I've still got ages before she comes"  
"She? You're having a girl?"  
"Oops. You totally didn't hear that from me. Moblit wants to keep it a secret. His mother is like, soooo traditional with names, so we told her we're waiting. Anywhoooo... I need your help cleaning the house. I can't get all the way down, and we both know I'm horrible at cleaning"  
"You want me to clean?"  
"Please! Our house never looked as good as it did when you did... and you haven't met Moblit's mother... she's like... organised. One of those people who are on top of everything. She's honestly terrifying"  
Eren laughed, starting to wash the oatmeal soap from Titan's fur  
"I don't have a job anymore, so if you're really ok with me, I don't mind"  
"You are a life saver! We also need to figure out the nursery. Moblit and I have ordered everything, but he's always so busy with work"  
"You do know Levi just had two days off. You could have called"  
"I messaged him for New Years and he told me to fuck off because he was busy"  
"Ohh... kind of. We were being lazy... and I think my phone might still be in Levi's work jacket"  
"Erwin said you went to work with them, how was that?"  
"Ugh... I think I got drugged or something. There was no way I was drunk off rum, and I got like really happy. Then I got stuck in the toilet and had a melt down. Levi had to come get me"  
"I heard it was a party for a pop idol"  
"It was awful. I mean, we both know I can't sing, and he was bad... but watching Erwin and Levi deal with all the drunk people. I don't know how any of you guys do it for a job"  
"You get used to it pretty quickly"  
"It was still insane... I want to get a job, and Levi said I could, but I have no idea what I can do other than dancing"  
"Then why not get a job as a dancer"  
"I don't think Levi would like it"  
He'd gotten jealous when he'd tried to dance for him before, and with Levi being the most important person in his life, he wanted to respect his alpha  
"You can come clean for us any time you want to"  
"Thanks Hanji... but I want a real job"  
"Fiiine. Anyway, how much longer are you going to be?"  
"I need to blow dry Titan off, or he'll be trailing water everywhere"  
"Then it's time for this fat duck to waddle back to the sofa. I'll let Levi know I'm borrowing you"  
So much for cleaning the apartment. Still... helping Hanji was the least he could do to pay her back for everything, and for Christmas  
"Ok. I need to have a shower and get changed too... just so you know"  
"Then it's a good thing I've got another 6 donuts with my name on them"

 

*  
Hanji's place was chaos, and Eren could see why she needed help. Deciding that the living room was the place to start, he grounded the woman, not wanting to risk Hanji tripping while he cleaned. Setting her up with snacks and water, he started by taking the curtains down first, opening all the windows he could to air the house.

Hanji had picked him up around 8, which was early to some, but he'd found himself easily adapting to Levi's weird hours, so he'd already been up for two hours before she arrived. Working hard until lunch time, he rearranged her pantry, making her a shopping list of everything she was out of. The fridge was sadly lacking in the fruit and vegetable situation, and the freezer nearly empty. He had no idea if she'd be able to read his messy writing. Out of everything he'd learned, his writing was the worst. Levi had assured him that it was fine, because everything was done on phones or computers these days, but it wasn't fine to him. He just didn't know how to go about improving it. Taking his list into Hanji, Hanji sat up with a groan  
"What's the damage?"  
"The damage?"  
"I heard you in the kitchen. Moblit and I have been so swamped, we haven't been food shopping in... since you and I went"  
"Um... you need a lot of stuff... I don't know if you can read this"  
Passing the list to Hanji, she pulled a face at it   
"Why don't we just go shopping?"  
"What? I thought you wanted me to clean"  
"I dooooo. Buuuut you're so much better at this than I am. I don't know how we managed to survive so long before you came along"  
"Now you're being dramatic"  
"I'm allowed to be dramatic. Anyway, we should definitely go shopping. I just need to go pee again, then we can go"  
"Do you need anything for the bathrooms?"  
"Probably. I have no idea"  
Eren rolled his eyes, reaching down, he pulled Hanji to her feet  
"I'll check the guest bathroom, I assume that's the one they'll be using"  
"Mostly, but Moblit comes from a big family. There is like nooo privacy"  
"Then whatever we get for the guest bathroom, we'll get for your bathroom too"  
"See. You're so smart"  
"Not really. You're the doctor"  
"My head's filled with medical crap. I suppose being home, I'll learn all this"  
"I only know this stuff because of Levi and Zeke..."  
Frowning at his brother's name, he was flooded with thoughts he didn't want. He'd been so loved up with Levi, that his brother had been pushed to the back of him mind... and completely from it. The moment he realised that, his stomach knotted. Zeke wouldn't have been very happy with anything he'd done lately... especially not for spending New Year's Day having sex with Levi, and napping in his boyfriend's arms. Letting Levi love and pamper him. The first time had been felt so right and sweet at the same time. The second time had killed off the last of his remaining brain cells and left him a wreck, while the third... he couldn't help but want more, having his alpha mount from behind while the cuddled, it helped to erase the memories of those other alphas who'd held him... drowning himself in the love of his boyfriend, he'd honestly felt happy. And relieved. Even if he had to cling to Levi when he came down from his high, his boyfriend hadn't made a big deal out of it

"Eren"  
Startled by Hanji clicking her fingers in his face, he reached up and rubbed at his face   
"I'm here. Sorry. I completely zoned out"  
"I noticed. Are you ok?"  
"Yeah. Yeah. I'm ok. I was just thinking about Levi"  
"Ooooh. What about him?"  
"It's nothing. If we're going, we should go now. That way the dining room curtains will be ready when we get home"  
"I love it when you get bossy! You're so cute"  
"I'm like 6foot tall. I don't know if I can be cute"  
"You are. Anyway, I can hear sweet and sour pork calling my name"  
"That's the real reason you want to go food shopping, isn't it?"  
"Yep. I mean... yep"  
Eren rolled his eyes. Hanji had been eating all day, how could she possibly still be hungry?!

 

*  
The sheer amount of food Hanji ate was insane. He'd thought Marco had eaten lots during his pregnancy, but Hanji put him to shame. Even when they moved to begin food shopping, Eren had to push the trolley because Hanji was eating her third lot of friend rice. With a mouth full of food, she mumbled out to buy anything he thought they needed. He'd never had free reign like this before, yet it definitely felt more like a chore. He couldn't talk to Hanji, which meant his anxieties were sky high. There were too many people and hadn't even planned on leaving the house, let alone food shopping. He wasn't dressed to be out in public. He was still wearing sweats and an oversized shirt. Not to mention his hair was a mess. Wandering the isles, he suddenly felt full of panic. Stumbling to a stop, Hanji didn't even notice, ambling on in front of him while Eren whipped around. Standing at the end of the isle, Reiner was staring right at him. Nausea rushed to fill every fibre of him. Dropping down to a crouch, his chest tightened, his hand covering his mouth so he didn't throw up across the floor. Why now? And why here? Giving him a small wave, Reiner walked on, as if nothing happened. As tears filled his eyes, Hanji finally noticed he wasn't by her side  
"Eren!"  
He cringed at the way she yelled his name, flinching as she came to his side. Reiner hadn't even fucking done anything and here he was, having a tucking melt down. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't remember any of the tips that Krista and Levi had taught him, about grounding himself and how to breathe through these attacks. Reiner... he was warning him. Warning him that he wasn't safe. No matter where they were, they could find them...  
"Eren, hey. Hey, it's Hanji. You're ok. You need to breathe through this for me, ok... take a deep breath in for me"  
He couldn't breathe. It was the horrible feeling like when you can't breathe before vomiting. He didn't want to throw up here. In front of everyone. Not when he was already causing a scene  
"Eren?"  
"Ma'am, do you need help?"  
"No, I'm a doctor. I've got this"  
Now strangers were laughing at him...  
"Here, sit down properly"  
He felt like a fucking moron sitting on the floor. Hanji sat down and took his hand  
"Breathe with me..."  
He shook his head, if he could breathe, he wouldn't be having a breakdown.

When Hanji put something to his ear, he jumped  
"Eren, can you hear me?"  
He whined at Levi's voice. This was Levi's first day back... and he was pulling this shit  
"I know. Hanji told me you got a bit rattled. It's ok. Whatever it is, it's ok. We can deal with this together. But first, you need to take your hand away from your mouth. You're not going to vomit, you just need to breathe with me"  
Where Hanji couldn't get through to him, he found himself listening to Levi. His hand moving from his mouth without him thinking about it, his alpha then having breathe in through his nose and out through his mouth. The whole time, Levi stayed on the line with him, reassuring him until he could finally actually take a breath on his own. Raising his eyes to Hanji, Hanji smiled at him   
"Welcome back"  
"S-sorry"  
"It's fine. I need to sit anyway"  
Hanji pulled her phone back, talking to Levi before ending the call  
"Ok. Are you ready to move?"  
Nodding, he and Hanji both awkwardly helped each other up, Hanji pulling him into a sideways hug because of her belly  
"Do you want to go home? Or do you want to finish up here?"  
Home. He wanted to go home and hide under every single blanket he and Levi owned... but... but he was supposed to be helping Hanji. Hanji needed his help... and Reiner would be long gone by now... he probably only stayed long enough for Eren to make a fool of himself  
"F-finish"  
He still felt sick to his stomach. It kept rolling, as he threw up a little in his mouth  
"Ok. I've got your list right here, and we'll just wing it with all the bathroom stuff. Levi's going to pick you up on the way home, so I think once we get back home, movies and chocolate are in order"  
Nodding like an idiot, he clung to Hanji as much as she clung to him. Every time someone whispered or said something, she just talked louder. He just wanted to go home... but somehow he and Hanji managed to finish shopping, and even managed to pay and make it to the car in one piece. He tried his hardest not to vomit, but sinking into the passenger seat of Hanji's sedan, the relief he felt at not being inside, with everyone around, hit him. Hanji saw it coming, pushing a disposable vomit bag into his hands as he hurled. He thought he was ok... he thought he was ok because he had Levi. He thought he was ready to work again, or at least try. He definitely wasn't, and he was stupid for thinking so.

 

*  
Eren was sleeping next to Hanji when Levi let himself in. Hanji had left the door unlocked, explaining that Eren was pretty wiped out from everything that happened. When she'd said she was borrowing Eren, she hadn't expected her to take him shopping. Slipping out from under Eren, Hanji slid a pillow into her spot, Eren so out of it he didn't stir. Beckoning him to follow, Hanji lead him into the kitchen   
"Sorry, I just got him to sleep"  
"What happened?"  
Hanji sighed, walking over to the pantry door and opening it. Inside was thing of beauty. Every shelf had been wiped down. The cans were stacked by expiration date, and each cereal container labeled. Eren's handwriting might not be great, but he'd really tried  
"What happened?"  
"Eren happened. He was spacey when he got into the car, then we got home, he snapped and went a little crazy"  
"Did he say what happened?"  
"No. One minute he was right beside me, and the next he was having a panic attack in the middle of the isle"  
"And he was ok, before then?"  
"Yeah. He did the living room, and cleaned through the dining room. Made a list of everything we needed. Washed the curtains. He seemed ok. He was giving Titan a bath when I picked him up"  
"Did you try to make him rest?"  
"Yes, but he just kept cleaning. I don't think he wanted to think about whatever it was that set him off"  
"He did a good job"  
"Stop deflecting. You know you need to ask him about today. This. I mean, it looks incredible, but this was him not dealing with whatever it was that upset him"  
"I've just gotten off work. I've literally just walked through the door, and found him sleeping. He tends to get anxious in crowds, so that might have been what triggered the attack. Once he gets an idea in his head, it's hard to convince him otherwise"  
"Levi!"  
Hanji growled his name, from the sofa Eren let out a whimper. Pausing a few moments to make sure he wasn't waking, Levi sighed   
"Look. I'm going to talk to him. Of course I am. Right now, he needs to sleep or I won't be able to get him to eat anything later"  
"He probably won't want to eat. He ended up throwing up when we got back to the car"  
"So he's got nothing in his stomach?"  
"Nope"  
Levi sighed again  
"Right. I'll make dinner tonight. Don't expect much. What have you got?"  
"Like everything. Even vegetables I've never seen before. Eren made me do a full shop. While we were having lunch, he offered to make a few meals in between cleaning. Don't give me that glare, I'm going to pay him for it all. Did you know he wanted a job?"  
"You better pay him fairly. And yes. I told him we'd talk about it, but I didn't think he was ready yet. He's getting better, in every way, but after Christmas Day... I thought he could use more time"  
"Well, I'm happy to hire him. Moblit's mother gets here in little over a week"  
"How can you possibly be scared of her, still?"  
"Because Moblit was always her favourite. I don't know how to be a responsible adult and do the things. I had the same conversation with Eren"  
"You should still learn to take care of yourself, especially with a baby coming"  
"I know... my maternity leave has started, I just need a little help getting things back under control. And honestly, maybe it's good having Eren come here and clean. It gives him something do, and he earns a little money for himself"  
"I didn't say it wasn't a good thing. I just said that you should learn these things for yourself. Now, get out of the kitchen while I figure out what's going on here"

 

Moblit came home while Levi was attempting a beef, vegetable and pasta dish he'd found in the first cookbook he'd grabbed from the shelf. Hanji promptly hushed her husband, as he joined her on the other side of the bench   
"Levi, Hanji didn't say you'd be stopping by for dinner. Or rather, making dinner? Does this have anything to do with why Eren's sleeping on the sofa?"  
"Well, you know how I picked him up, he had a panic attack when we went shopping"  
"You went shopping?"  
"Yep. Eren made a list of everything we needed, and I had a craving for some good Chinese food"  
"You're supposed to be resting"  
"Moblit, there are plenty of pregnant women walking around right up to the moment they go into labour, and even then. It was just a little shopping. Anyway, I had Eren with me"  
"Who had a panic attack"  
Levi didn't appreciate Moblit's tone. The man didn't mean anything in particular, speaking out of concern for his wife, yet he couldn't help but be angry. Eren couldn't control these things   
"It was fine. I called Levi and Levi got him to calm down. We finished shopping and then came back home where Eren cleaned the pantry"  
"He kept cleaning"  
"You know, I think I've heard all of this before. Dinner's still going to be a little while longer. Moblit, why don't you go take a shower. Hanji, go make sure Eren doesn't wake up alone and scared"  
"I think I can do that. I might just crawl onto the sofa and sleep with him"  
Turning to look over his shoulder, Levi raised an eyebrow at Hanji's phrasing  
"You can't seriously be jealous"  
"I'm not jealous. I just don't want him waking up because you want cuddles"  
Moblit snorted, while Hanji giggled  
"He's so jealous"  
"Leave them alone. He's happy with Eren. Besides, he might not let you borrow Eren again"  
"Noooo. We need him. Your mum is just too scary"  
"That she is. Levi's right. I'm going to take a shower. You go sit down"

With dinner in the oven, and the dishwasher washing the mess from the prep away, Levi headed into the living room. Hanji was playing on her phone, while Eren had stretched out the entire length of the sofa. Reaching down Levi lifted him up gently, just enough so he could claim the corner of the sofa and lower him back down. Mumbling sleepily, Eren groped around for his hand, finally finding it, Levi interlaced their fingers  
"Levi? Home?"  
"Not just yet. Sleep a little longer"  
"Missed you"  
Nuzzling into his leg, Eren hummed softly. His boyfriend back to sleep without waking properly.

Letting Eren get an extra half hour sleep, Moblit served dinner. Waking his sleeping omega, Eren blinked at up him, before freeing his hand and wrapping his arms around him   
"Hey, brat. Did you miss me?"  
Eren nodded, climbing up into his lap   
"Y-yeah"  
"It's all over now, you're ok"  
"I don't feel good"  
"Moblit's made us dinner, it's time to eat"  
"I don't know if I can keep it down"  
"It's ok. Just try and eat a little bit for me. We can go home after the dishes are done"  
"But... I was suppose to clean"  
Levi laughed softly   
"You can come back and clean all you want, but for now, it's dinner time"  
Eren didn't make any motions of moving. Lifting his boyfriend as he stood, Eren groaned  
"Yes, yes. You've had a long day"  
"Longest without you"  
Eren was too fucking pure. Carrying him to the dinner table, Moblit pulled Eren's chair out for him, Levi sitting him down and dropping a kiss atop his hair  
"You don't have to eat it all, but I would like you to try"

Eren ate slowly, keeping his eyes down and not joining in with the conversation around him. Under the table, Hanji kept kicking him in the shin, urging him to ask Eren what had happened. It wasn't happening. Eren wasn't ready to be probed about it all. So, by the time they finished eating Levi's shin was bruised and Hanji had a bruised shin of her own. He didn't feel particularly guilty over returning the favour, not when Eren's mental health was the issue. His omega had an appointment with Krista coming up in little over a week, so even if he couldn't get anything out of Eren right away, hopefully Krista could.

 

*  
Eren was exhausted from his panic attack and then his meltdown at Hanji's. He'd thrown himself into cleaning, because that was what Levi said worked for him. Reiner's cold smile wouldn't leave his mind. He'd scrubbed and scrubbed, he'd cleaned Hanji's pantry from top to bottom... so why couldn't he forget Reiner? The more he scrubbed, the more Reiner's casual form burned himself into his mind. Why was he here in Shinganshima? And why had he let himself be seen? Fuck. Just thinking about it made him feel even sicker. His stomach really wouldn't calm at all. He couldn't keep food down, even when he'd tried to eat for Levi. He had no idea how he'd managed to fall asleep at Hanji's, not when cuddling up in Levi's arms hadn't helped to soothe him. His alpha had even Levi rubbed his stomach for him, but that didn't help. He was just so fucking scared that everything was going to come crashing down. His paranoia was so fucking bad that he couldn't even go into his own room... living in the few clothes that had been in the wash, and Levi's shirts. Before entering each room of the apartment, he had to make sure the lights were on and no one was there.

With Levi at work, Eren obediently went to Hanji's. Levi didn't want to leave him home alone. His boyfriend stressed it would be good for him to get out the apartment, but Eren was sure it was because his boyfriend thought he was mental and needed a babysitter, in case he tried to throw himself off the balcony again, or whatever. It took three full days of work to get things sorted at Hanji's, and to clean out the study. Everything from the study was relocated to end of the dining area, Moblit helping when he could, though Eren assured him he didn't need it. The washing machine had run nearly nonstop, it felt like every single item that was washable had been washed. 

The study had been stripped, so the walls could be painted, after being sugar soaped. Which had taken almost all fucking day. If it'd just fallen to Eren on his own, the nursery would barely be done by the time Moblit's parents flew in... but with the help of Erwin and Levi, they managed to repaint the room in a day. He didn't know why I left him feeling even more off about everything. He'd worked hard to clean it to the state where it could be painted... only for Levi and Erwin to finish the job. He was left with a kind of nagging irritation. Maybe it was because he didn't get to do everything himself? It felt as if he had failed. Though Hanji's excited squealing and happiness should had cut through all self conscious shit he was feeling... but... it didn't. The fact it didn't, left him feeling worse. Wearing a fake smile, he lied and said he was tired when Levi pulled him up on it. He was kind of tired, well, more like exhausted. He wasn't doing ok, and was scared that if he opened up to Levi, even just a little, it would result in his lover's death. At this point the only person he felt he could say anything to was Krista because she was legally not allowed to say anything to anyone. She alone knew the burden of the past he'd tried to leave behind... he wouldn't name names, but being able to admit he'd seen someone from his past who'd ruined his life, he selfishly wanted to spill. To relieve some of the strain he'd been placing on Levi's shoulders... and the strain he knew was bleeding into their relationship. That night, atop of the roof at the party, under the glowing lights of the fireworks, he'd sworn with a New Year, it would bring a new him. At the time he hadn't realised he may have been high, but he'd sworn to himself he would do, and he would be, better for both his and Levi's sake.

Returning from Hanji's after putting the nursery together, Eren scrubbed his face. He just wanted to sleep. He wanted to cuddle Levi and he wanted to sleep. Picking Titan up from the sofa, he buried his face in the cats soft fur. Tomorrow would be his first day alone since all this shit began. Maybe tomorrow he could finally find a way to find some peace from his own mind   
"Eren?"  
"I'm ok..."  
"You know, you can talk to me. Don't you?"  
"I know..."  
He silently begged Levi not to do this. Not when the walls he'd built were crumbling down, and the stones he was cramming into the places didn't fit properly at all  
"I want to be here for you, but right now, I don't know how"  
Placing Titan down, he turned and rushed to Levi. Burying his face against his neck, he started to cry  
"Tell me what's wrong?"  
Maybe a small... tiny part of the past... would ok? He couldn't help but feel the need to say something. Levi's scent still smelt as wonderfully safe as the first time he'd smelt it  
"I... saw something... that reminded me of the past and I can't get it out of my head"  
"Something you can't tell me? For my safety?"  
He didn't like the imagined anger in Levi's voice, yet he nodded  
"Ok... it's ok. I'm here. Do you maybe want to take a bath together? I know you've been hiding how sick you've been feeling. It's the stress of keeping all of this inside. We can take a bath, and watch a movie together?"  
Levi wasn't always good at knowing what to do or say. That's what his boyfriend had told him at the very beginning before all this started. So why was it everything he did, made him feel so loved? Even when he was sure he didn't deserve it  
"Thank you... I'm sorry. I tried to..."  
"You were hurting and you found the strength to keep going. To help a friend who was in need. Mental illness is not something to be ashamed of, nor does it make you weak. Being able to get out of bed, and to get things done and even leaving the apartment. It makes you strong. You are strong"  
"You're the strong one"  
"Even strong people feel a little weak at times. Just like everything else, we'll get through this together"  
"I... was thinking about when you told me you were no good with words. Levi, your words make me the happiest"  
"You make it easy... even with those I called my family. You. You understand me"  
"You're not that complicated an alpha"  
Reaching up, he stroked Levi's right cheek lovingly   
"Let's take that bath together"

Nearly asleep in Levi's arms, they laid in the vanilla scented bubbles until the water started to turn cold. Letting Levi take care of him, his alpha dried him and dressed him for bed, giving him a sedative to help him sleep. He didn't want to sleep, but knew his body needed it. 

 

*  
Levi woke him for breakfast, before letting him fall back to sleep. It nearly lunch time when he woke again, the near dreamless sleep left him feeling better than he had all week. Climbing from Levi's bed, he carried Titan with him, not wanting to lose the the warmth the cat provided, especially when outside looked so stormy. Heading into the kitchen, he smiled at the gladwrapped meal Levi had left him for breakfast. A thick stack of chocolate chip pancakes, that tasted good even when cold. With time to spare, he carried Titan and his breakfast over to the sofa, dropping Titan down before he sat. Jumping off the sofa, Titan went running towards the bathroom, going for his litter box. It felt nice to know that Titan had stayed with him, even if he needed to go to the toilet. Picking up the remote, he turned the TV on, leaving it on whatever came up on the screen. It was more for the background noise that he wanted it on. Eating his pancakes, he ate more than he had all week, his stomach not happy about it, but he didn't have the urge to throw it all back up. That was something.

Having spent the last week feeling useful at Hanji's, he was a kind of bone numbingly bored. He didn't want to get up and do anything... yet he forced himself up. He hadn't tackled his room, and without Levi home, now was really the best time. If he fell apart over something, Levi wouldn't have to pick up the pieces. Levi said he was strong, and now was the time to prove that he was.

Opening his bedroom door, he wrinkled his nose at the scents in his room. Dust hung in the air, something not normal at all in their apartment. Everything needed washing. His blankets included. He also really needed to sort his clothes out. Levi was accomodating enough to let him hang some of his clothes in his wardrobe, but he was tired of wearing the same thing every day. With a heavy sigh, he opened his wardrobe, a strange scent he vaguely knew but couldn't place, was coming from the bottom, where his clothes were slantedily stacked. Lifting up the worst stacked pile, he frowned at the white bund hidden at the back. He knew better than to bundle things up. Levi had taught him better. Zeke had taught him better. He'd shown a Hanji's he knew better. Snatching the bundle up, something fell to the floor, but his attention was on the white fabric. Freed from being buried in his scent, his eyes watered as he shoved it in his face. Zeke. It smelt of Zeke. He'd thought he'd forgotten it. After all, all he had left of his brother were a few hairs in an envelope. Breathing Zeke in, he fell back on his arse. He missed him. He missed him so fucking much. How was this here? If Levi had somehow gotten his hands on something of Zeke's, his boyfriend would have told him. Not hidden it away in his wardrobe like a dirty secret. Lowering the shirt down, his eyes were teary. Searching the floor for what had fallen, his breath caught as his eyes found it. A black plastic bag, like the kind used for garbage. Placing the shirt down in his lap, his hands shook as he snatched up the bag. He had a really bad feeling about it. About what was inside. He felt like his instincts were screaming at him not to open it... but the desire to know what was inside won out. Pulling the top open, he shook the contents out. First a phone. Zeke's phone. It's green battered cover unmistakable. This shouldn't be here... Zeke never parted with his phone... and Eren had never been allowed to touch it. Shaking harder, he screamed. Clamping a had to his mouth to silence himself. A knife. A bloodied kitchen knife that he also knew. The blood had long since dried, and the handle had been cleaned down... the last time he'd seen this knife, it was being plunged into his brother. They knew. Reiner came back because he knew he was wavering. He knew he wanted to confess the rest of his sins to Levi and this... this was an open warning. They could get to them. They could get to Levi and to Titan, any time they wanted... and him... his fingerprints were on the phone. On the knife... he was the one who'd survived... in the early days after the attack, Hanji had told him it'd just been him and Zeke there... the police had basically dropped the case, but if they found the knife... he... he'd be to blame. No one would believe he found it in the bottom of his wardrobe. Wrapping the knife back up, with the shirt around it, he kept the phone out. He had to hide all of this from Levi. Levi would want to tell the police. Levi would be practical about it all. He'd say he'd protect him... but what about their friends? He'd dragged them all into this and now their lives were in his hands.

With a still racing heart, he hid the black bag under the bottom drawer of his bedside table. It didn't matter if the drawer wouldn't open. He didn't want the thing in the house as it was. He didn't need Levi or anyone finding it... If he couldn't see it, it wouldn't be in his thoughts... of course, he knew it wouldn't work that way... but what else could he do? He didn't know what came next. Home wasn't safe... Levi's job was dangerous enough. He never knew what each day meant, and his apartment was his... Eren didn't know the word for it. It was his escape. If he told Levi it wasn't safe for him to be here, his boyfriend would worry non-stop... and pull everyone into this mess... 

Grabbing Zeke's phone off the floor. He didn't know what to do with that. He could easily lie and say someone had given it to him... but that would have had to have been while he was in hospital, and Levi knew he hadn't had it then. He could say it was left outside their door, but that was dangerously close to an admitting the apartment wasn't safe... buuut... Levi knew they knew who all of them were. Maybe he could say it was left outside the door? Or maybe he could leave it outside the door for Levi to find. Say he hadn't heard anything? He should have put it in with the knife and the shirt, but there could be photos of his brother on there. It was the photo album all over again... fuck. He was so overwhelmed. He didn't want the phone to disappear. The knife could... even the shirt... but not the phone. 

With so many doubts, his mind went to Levi. He hadn't heard anything from him since he started his shift. His alpha had found his phone in his work jacket and charged it for him. Every night he placed it on charge with his own... but he hadn't heard it today. What if Levi wasn't coming home. What if it was Levi's blood on that knife? Hyperventilating, his knees gave out. With the grace of a newborn foal, he struggled back to his feet, stumbling as he used the walls for support. Making it to Levi's room, he grabbed up his phone. Clumsy as he hit the home button. No new messages from Levi... 

 

*  
Levi had not had a great day at work, and Erwin was a fucking arsehole. With the continual drizzle from the grey skies, that refused to get over its self and turn into an actual downpour, they'd been called out to three seperate accidents across the city. That would have been fine. They weren't serious. Just minor prangs. He could deal with dreary weather and pissy patients. What he couldn't deal with was wet curbs, apparently. He fucking face-planted. Erwin had pushed him as a joke and he'd face-planted. What kind of alpha breaks his wrist from being pushed?! Two fucking shitty hairline fractures and a stupid cast. He was definitely getting old, which Erwin and Mike laughed way too much over. He hadn't thought it much more then a grazed palm through his gloves and a slight blow to his ego, until he'd gone to pick up his kit and that turned into a big fat no. At least Hanji hadn't been there to laugh in his face... 

Erwin had apologised once they realised it wasn't just a sprain, but Levi was sure it didn't warrant his friend treating him like a total invalid. His hand was just in a cast, that he didn't think he needed, and Eren would be there to help with everything. Letting them into his apartment, Levi sighed heavily. It was so good to finally be home   
"Where's Eren?"  
"Probably asleep. He was when I left"  
"He seemed off when we were at Hanji's"  
"Yeah. He's got an appointment with Krista tomorrow. I suppose it was time to start giving him driving lessons"  
"You're going to give him driving lessons?"  
Levi furrowed his brow  
"Why wouldn't I?"  
"What if he has a panic attack?"  
"Then we pull over and deal with it. He'll be fine. Besides, I'm not going to make him go driving in the rain"  
"Then I suppose I'm staying the night the forecast said it should worsen overnight"  
Levi wasn't sure Eren would be happy about Erwin staying, but if tomorrow was stormy, they would need a lift to Eren's appointment   
"Whatever. Just order pizza or something easy to eat. I'm going to see if Eren's awake, then I need a hot shower"

Heading into their bedroom, Levi swore. Eren was slumped unconscious by their bed. The omega had thrown up, his head resting in a pool of sick, while a sweet smell wafted up, the smell Eren got during his weird half heats. Instead of the usual arousal he felt, he felt fear. With his stupid hand in the cast, he couldn't lift his lover from the floor  
"Erwin!"  
He hated the idea of another alpha touching his vulnerable omega  
"Shit, I've got him"  
Brushing past him, Erwin knelt down, his fingers going to Eren's throat  
"His pulse is steady, and he's breathing on his own"  
Opening Eren's mouth, Erwin used to two fingers to check for vomit  
"Mouth's clear. I think he's worked himself into a panic, thrown up then passed out. He feels warm to the touch, and smells... vaguely sweet"  
"He's in heat"  
"He doesn't smell like it"  
"You know he gets these weird heats when he's stressed..."  
"I'll get him into the bath, are you able to take it from there?"  
"Well, I'm not letting you touch him"  
Erwin sighed, lifting Eren into his hold. From the look of his arms, his mate hadn't hurt himself, which was a big milestone for his boyfriend. Or so he thought. He couldn't stand the idea of his beautiful omega receiving any more scars on his perfect skin.

Laying Eren down in the bath, his boyfriend groaned as Levi started tugging his shirt up, before starting to fight weakly  
"Eren. It's Levi... can you hear me?"  
Tugging his shirt over Eren's head, Eren blinked at his with wide green eyes. Thank fuck he was awake  
"L-Levi?"  
"We've got to stop meeting like this kid. You passed out, do you remember?"  
"'m hot"  
"You've gone into heat. But it's ok. I'm here"  
"S-safe?"  
"You're safe..."  
Eren shook his head lightly  
"Y-you?"  
"Perfectly. No stupid sidewalks here"  
Eren scrunched up his face. His boyfriend looked so fucking pale. Even with all the sleep he'd gotten, Eren still had bags beneath his eyes  
"You didn't message"  
Eren had been worried about him, but with work and his unplanned trip to hospital, he hadn't had the chance   
"Sorry. I'm home now. Let's get you cleaned up"  
Eren gave him sleepy smile, fighting his eyelids as his eyes started to close  
"Levi... safe..."  
He hadn't felt particularly worried about leaving Eren home and not messaging him. He'd assumed he'd sleep most of the day away. Now he felt like shit.

Even as he cleaned Eren down with one hand, he still didn't feel as if a rut was forming. Between his legs, Eren was oozing slick, and despite knowing how good his love tasted, he just felt worried. Eren's scent definitely suggested he was in heat, though his dick laid flaccid. He didn't know enough about his boyfriend's heats to plan his next move, so maybe, if this was stress related, Eren would come out of it all before it hit properly. 

When Levi realised he needed help with Eren's long hair, he called Erwin in, threatening to blind him if he so much stared at Eren a millisecond longer than necessary. Helping make sure Eren's hair was now vomit free, they got him out the bath and dressed, Eren rousing again and telling them both to fuck off while trying to get him into a pair of loose pants. Supporting him, Levi lead him out to the sofa and settled him down, covering Eren's legs with his favourite teal blanket, patting his lap, Titan came running with a long purr, leaping easily into Eren's lap   
"Brat, I need to take a shower. Erwin is here too. But nothing is going to happen. Ok?"  
Eren nodded, his fingers tangling in Titan's fur. He seemed alright. Maybe Eren hadn't had a panic attack? Maybe he'd fainted from stress?

Leaving Eren on the sofa, Levi backtracked to his bedroom where Erwin had returned to cleaning up the mess. With the job mostly done, there wasn't all that much mess left. Another great advantage of not having carpet, because honestly, fuck trying to get vomit out of them  
"He had his phone on him. I didn't know he had another one though"  
"He doesn't"  
"Then who does the green one belong to?"  
"Green one?"  
Erwin paused to point up at the bedside table, two phones laid side by side  
"That's not Eren's"  
"Then who's is it? Are you sure he doesn't have a second phone?"  
"I pay for his phone plan, I'm sure"  
Leaning over he lifted the phone he didn't recognise. Holding down the power button, the red flat battery symbol flashed  
"Its flat..."  
"Maybe he found it? Wanted to ask you what to do with it?"  
"He hasn't been anywhere to find it. Only Hanji's and here"  
"Stick it on charge. You can check it out later"  
"You don't need to tell me what I was already going to do"  
"Someone's snappy"  
"I wonder why. Today's just been one thing after another. Did you order dinner?"  
"Not yet. I was trying to get this done so you could put Eren to bed"  
Put Eren to bed? What was he? Three?  
"He's fine... he's on the sofa with Titan. Give him a little bit and he'll bounce back. Don't forget to mop this over"  
"Thanks for cleaning this up, Erwin"  
Raising his cast, Levi glared at Erwin   
"You really want me to thank you?"  
"Point taken. At least you've got time off to be with Eren"  
"I'd rather it hadn't been like this. Eren's not going to be too impressed"  
"It wasn't intentional..."  
"I know. He worries too much"  
"But you love him"  
"I do. I'm taking a shower. Don't forget to order dinner"

Eren ate a whopping, whole slice of pizza, which he basically force fed him. His boyfriend managing to ask Erwin how their shift was, and how Levi busted his arm. Giving Erwin a cold death glare over the accident, and snubbing him for the rest of the night. No matter how many times Erwin apologised. By the end of it all, Eren was only playing. He might not be happy over Levi's injury, but he'd accepted these things happen and it wasn't done maliciously. When they finally climbed into bed together, Eren pulled him to his chest, spooning up behind him. The hold his omega had on him was almost crushing, and though slightly disappointed, his omega's scent had begun to even out again.

During the night, the storm picked up. The booming thunder so loud that the whole apartment seemed to echo with it. Initially confused to why he'd woken up, he found his bed devoid of his boyfriend. Fuck. He knew Erwin wouldn't touch Eren, but they were alpha and omega at their base cores. Scrambling out the bed, he ignored his racing heart. Erwin had locked the door so Eren wouldn't wander in... he should have just sent his friend home... no... No. The weather was too intense for Erwin to be safely driving. Eren might just be in the bathroom. Right. The bathroom.

The bathroom light was blessfully on. Pushing on the door, it gave with ease, revealing Eren sitting in the bathtub. His hands were over his ears, while he seemed to be muttering something to himself. Padding softly over, he squatted down, pulling Eren's left hand from his ear  
"Eren?"  
Looking to him, Eren let out a sigh of what seemed to be relief  
"What are you doing?"  
"Th-the thunder"  
"What about it? Don't you like thunder?"  
"It..."  
The light flickered, before the room went black. Eren let out a small scream, blindly reaching for him with his right arm and pulling him half into the bath  
"Hey. It's just an outage... it's ok"  
"I don't like the dark..."  
He hadn't heard that before... but could imagine why. If his lover had been kept somewhere dark, his mind would be going to even darker places   
"It's a good thing you've got me to protect you"  
"I don't like the dark... I don't... I don't like it..."  
Eren whimpered through another loud crash of thunder, while lightening lit up the whole room through the window  
"Let's go back to bed?"  
Eren wasn't listening to him. His omega still stumbling over his words trying to tell him he didn't like the dark. Manhandling him out the bathtub, Levi winced as he lifted Eren into his arms, his wrist screaming in protest. Carrying Eren back to bed, he laid him down, and climbed in behind him, curling into Eren's side  
"See. Nothing to fear"

There were a few long silent moments from both of them, before Eren's soft voice broke the silence   
"They... kept me in a basement... it always leaked when it rained... it was always so cold... so cold and the blankets were always damp... on... bad nights like this... I can't..."  
Levi blinked a few times in shock that Eren was offering up this tiny tidbit from his past. They'd been through storms together, and Eren had been ok... a little quieter than normal, but ok. The stress of the week must have really gotten to him  
"... Zeke used to let me sleep with him, he'd leave the lamp on because I couldn't slee... I miss him so much, Levi... I don't know what to do"  
"You stay here in our bed and you let me hold you. It's just a bit of thunder and lightening. It's outside and we're in here..."  
"Can... will I ever be better than this?"  
"Things aren't always perfect, but they will get better. We've got the rest of our lives to make sure of that"  
"When... when you didn't message me, I thought I'd never see you again. I thought they got you because of what I said"  
"Eren, you've barely said anything. Nothing that anyone would go after you over... does this have something to do with the phone Erwin found earlier"  
Eren let out a miserably laughing groan, his hand coming up to cover his face  
"I... I found it. I. I opened the door and found it. Levi, it's Zeke's phone"  
"Zeke's phone?"  
"The... the cover was the one he was using when I was with him... I don't know how it got here... I don't know what to do with it. I don't want it... but... I kept wondering if it had photos of Zeke on it... when I saw it, and saw you hadn't messaged... I was so sure you weren't every coming back to me"  
Eren's voice wobbled and trembled, but his omega got his point across. He'd seen someone from the past and now Zeke's phone had showed up. It didn't take a rocket scientist to make the leap. But Eren really hadn't said anything. Only that he'd made that stupid disgusting deal and had been betrayed. Maybe he'd decided to tell him now that he didn't like storms because he thought their time together was coming to an end? He didn't want that. And no matter what, he'd fight for what they had. Eren could curse him to oblivion, and he'd still walk over broken glass barefoot to be with him. He needed to give the omega something to hope for. A dream to hold onto...  
"Eren, can I ask you something?"  
"What?"  
"If you were to fall pregnant, what would you want it to be?"  
Ok. He was scrambling. He didn't know why the nursery they'd put together for Hanji had come to mind. All he could hope for was that Eren would take the bait   
"Pregnant?"  
I don't mean right now... in the future"  
"I guess... I'd be happy with a boy or a girl, if it was yours"  
"Well it's not going to be anyone else's"  
"No... you're the only alpha for me. You have all of me. Every bit of me... even if it's not much"  
"There's a whole lot to you... and when the time is right, I'm going to put a ring on that finger of yours"  
"You will?"  
This wasn't the direction he thought things were going either...  
"Yeah. And one in the back of your neck"  
"I want that... I want that with you... no mater what"  
"Then for now, you should try falling back to sleep and knowing that the alpha you'll marry one day, isn't about to let you go"  
"No matter where I go... I want you to bring me home"  
"Always, Eren. Always"  
Eren drew a sleepy breath, turning his head to nuzzle into Levi's hair  
"Don't let them take me away..."

With that line in his mind, sleep was a long time coming for Levi.


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Same day as it goes up on tumblr ;p  
> Much loves for you all... and I'm sorrry...

Despite Eren's scent having evened out, his omega was very much in his half heat state come morning. Waking up to a very naked and needy Eren wasn't necessarily a bad thing, nor was the extremely vocal round of finger fucking and jerking off it lead to, as both of them had forgotten Erwin was sleeping in the next room. No. What upset him more than anything was the fact he still didn't feel the heat of a rut forming in his belly. His omega and mate, in but marking, was experiencing a heat that didn't stir the fires of need and desire inside his stomach. His alpha was angered with their lover, feeling betrayed by something that Eren couldn't even control. It didn't need to be said that Eren definitely did not need a heat right now. Not in any way, shape, or form. And it pained Levi to admit it, but he to felt slightly betrayed. He'd never heard of an omega releasing pheromones to push their significant other away during a heat. It just didn't happen. Eren didn't seem to want to be knotted, he just needed a little help to soothe his body. Which made no fucking sense. Even as they'd make out in the shower, Eren didn't want to be mounted, he'd said as much in bed, he just wanted touches and kisses. If it wasn't for the change in scent and the unusually handsy touching, he'd honestly believe Eren wasn't in heat. He just... it was confusing and taxing, and he didn't like being confused. Especially when he'd gotten such little sleep, and with a fucking cast. If they had time, he could probably stimulate Eren's nape until his heat rolled in, but Eren needed his appointment with Krista... and Levi didn't know if he was ready to spend Eren's heat with him. It wasn't that he didn't want to. He only had one hand, which had made everything so much more complicated than it needed to be that morning. Aside from that, he didn't feel like Eren was ready to share a heat with him. They'd only just started having sex, without being drunk or under the influence of pheromones. His omega had also broken down the night of the party, clearly confused over touching himself. Until Eren opened up further to touching and exploring his own body and needs, it was best that he didn't get stuck in heat with a horny alpha. He didn't trust himself to stop. Not when his alpha had spent a year wanting to breed Eren. Everything was a mess, and he was a coward.

Erwin had had breakfast waiting for them when he and Eren emerged from getting dressed. His omega putting up a clear wall between them now that he'd calmed. He was soft and apologetic over his actions, something he didn't need to be. Without really thinking about it, Levi grabbed Zeke's phone while grabbing his and Eren, slipping all three into the front pocket of his jacket. With the weather outside still wet and dreary, Eren was going to need something more than a long sleeve shirt. Grabbing one of his own, he headed out to find his omega rooted in place, staring at Erwin in confusion  
"He stayed over last night, don't you remember?"  
Eren shook his head, his face reddening  
"It's ok. He's not going to hurt you. We need a driver for today, so Erwin's it"  
Leaning in, he pressed a kiss to Eren's cheek, copping a face full of that sweet scent  
"If I thought he'd lay a finger on you, I never would let him stay. You know that, right?"  
"I... uh... sorry. I feel a bit off... his scent isn't yours"  
"Here, you'll need a jacket on today"  
Taking it from Levi, Eren raised it to his nose. Levi grateful for the times he'd been gifted clothes way too big for his short stature  
"Thank you..."

Erwin had nearly cremated the bacon and eggs. Eren tried to politely finish what he could, but in the end, breakfast wound up being cereal for all of them, and Titan finished off the ruined bacon happily. Getting ready for Eren's appointment, Levi made a basic list of things they needed. Submitting the order would give him something to do while Eren talked to Krista.

The drive was quiet, Erwin much more careful than normal thanks to the still wet road conditions. Deciding to join Levi in waiting inside the clinic, Eren was hesitant as he followed after Krista, almost like he didn't want to go in. He knew there was always a professional boundary kept between patient and therapist, but Eren really seemed to like Krista, so it struck him as strange that Eren wouldn't want to talk to her. It wasn't until he went to retrieve his own phone from his pocket, that he remembered Zeke's was there. Pulling the device out, he glared at it. Things had been getting better. Of that, he'd been sure  
"Oh, did Eren tell you who's that was?"  
Levi sighed heavily. Eren was so sure they were in danger, and with this phone turning up... He needed an outsiders prospective  
"It's Zeke's. Eren said he opened the door and found it"  
"Zeke's? Shouldn't it be with the police then?"  
"You would think so. I don't know who dropped it or why... but this could have clues about whoever killed Zeke on it"  
"All the more reason it should be with the police"  
"You heard Eren at Christmas. He made a deal to keep us all safe..."  
"You can't believe that..."  
"I can. He told me what happened. It was fucked up... and last night... he's waiting for something to happen"  
"Then what do you want to do?"  
"I don't know. I'm not great at this technology bullshit... There has to be something on here I can use to protect Eren with"  
Erwin had pity written all over his face. To him, he probably sounded insane  
"Levi, what happened to Eren wasn't your fault. Even if you feel some kind of responsibility for it. It still isn't your fault"  
"I'm not making this shit up"  
"Then what happened? What makes you sure that Eren isn't safe? And what deal did he make? I've seen you lose yourself before..."  
"Are you fucking serious, right now? Eren is scared"  
"Then get him to open up to you"  
"I can't. Ok. I've fucking tried. I have the choice between having him in my life, and losing him and knowing everything. But this. If there's something on this phone, I could use it to help him"  
"Levi, you should go to the police. Zeke's murder is still an open case"  
He couldn't go to the police, Eren wouldn't talk to them and he'd be left standing there, looking like a fool  
"Look. You don't have to go. I can hand it in. Say I found it in the ambulance..."  
"They won't turn it on. They couldn't care less about the owner of lost property. It's just going to sit there unclaimed. Zeke can hardly report his own phone missing"  
"Then let me talk to Hanji. We'll go through one of Moblit's friends"  
"And what happened when it gets out?"  
"Look. I know you want to protect him. But they've had months to make a move"  
"Eren didn't open his mouth until Christmas about the deal, then he told me what he did when he came home. And now he's seen someone from his past and his dead brother's phone has magically turned up. It's not a fucking coincidence"

Holding the power button, the device turned on painfully slowly. It felt to Levi almost like he was holding his breath over the whole thing... only for it be locked with a pin... fuck...  
"What's Zeke's birthday?"  
"What?"  
"A pin is usually a birthday"  
"I don't know"  
"What's Eren's then?"  
"I don't think Zeke would make Eren's birthday his pin"  
"Just try it"  
Entering 3003, the phone didn't unlock. It didn't unlock for 0330 either...  
"It's not his birthday"  
"Then turn it off..."  
He felt so fucking close to something. He could feel it... trying his birthday 2512, the phone unlocked, while his stomach dropped. Zeke wouldn't be using his birthday. Whoever gifted Eren the phone had to have changed the pin...  
"Now what?"  
"I don't know..."  
He opened messages, to find it empty. Facebook and messenger weren't installed... what was the point of gifting Eren a useless phone. He snarled, wanting to throw the thing in frustration. Taking the phone off him, Erwin turned it off  
"We'll deal with this later. Eren's going to smell anger on you otherwise"  
"I fucking hate it when you're right. And I've had enough of this fucking cast"  
"If Eren can survive having a cast on his ankle, you can survive the one on your wrist"  
"He cut the first one off his ankle, that was the problem. Then he had that stupid cast and boot"  
"Exactly. You can't let it get to you"  
"Fuck you. You're being evicted as soon as we get home"  
"Don't be like that"  
"If Eren does go into heat properly, I expect you to stay the fuck away"  
"What are you going to do if he does? Stay with him?"  
"He's not ready to share a heat"  
"He sounded pretty ready this morning..."  
Erwin's chuckle was cut off by Levi elbowing him in the ribs  
"It's not my fault you two are loud"  
"I forgot you were there. Don't mention it in front of Eren"  
"I'm not that stupid. I hope you're using protection"  
Levi rolled his eyes  
"Yes, dad. Eren had a contraceptive shot before we headed down to Paradis"  
"Those aren't..."  
"I don't need the sex talk. Especially not from you. I know how to take care of my mate"  
Erwin frowned  
"Your mate? You bonded with him?"  
"Not yet. I guess we're officially courting..."  
"Nobody courts this day"  
"We're past the stage of simple boyfriends. But I'm not going to force my mark on him. Not until he's older and more independent. We're not in a rush, and things are fine how they are... well, things are fine between us"  
"How mature"  
"You're an arsehole. I feel like I haven't told you that enough lately"

Eren came out of his appointment with two pieces of folded paper, stumbling over to him, his omega buried his face against his neck. Looking over Eren's shoulder, Krista gave him a smile  
"He did well today. Spoil him with some chocolate. Eren don't forget to follow up on that appointment for me. Take care, you two"  
Eren nodded, not looking up. Giving Krista a small wave, the woman started back towards her office  
"Thanks, Krista"  
Rubbing Eren's back, his omega sighed softly  
"What's this about an appointment?"  
"Krista said I should make a doctor's appointment. Maybe get something to help me sleep better"  
Sleeping pills only worked for a short time and ran the risk of addiction. He'd rather only give Eren sedatives or sleep aids when he really needed it. Releasing Eren, he wrapped his arm around his waist, leading him towards the door. Erwin has already headed out when Eren and Krista had appeared  
"Alright, we'll talk about it when we get home. How's your heat going?"  
"It's still there... Krista was surprised I could function"  
"Did she have any ideas about why it's only partial?"  
"A few... are we going home?"  
"Yeah. We need to stop by the shops on the way, but I can send Erwin in"  
"Ok... can I have chocolate?"  
Levi laughed, bumping Eren with his shoulder  
"Krista said you deserved it, so of course"  
"I don't know why... I didn't say that much..."  
"But what you did say, did it help?"  
"I guess... maybe. I told her I don't like loud storms like last night. She doesn't either. Her partner's not home, so she hid in bed all night"  
"Sounds like a solid plan..."  
"Mmm. Can we cuddle too? I know my scents probably hard to take right now, so we don't have to..."  
Even if they hadn't talked about Zeke, talking about his fear of storms and memories of the basement must have helped. Eren seemed happier, more together, though clearly still exhausted  
"I can't work with a busted wrist, so you can have all the hugs you want"  
"Then... um... while your home, can we work on... actually, never mind"  
"No, what is it?"  
"My... uh... handwriting. Krista said if I want to work on it, I should just go for it"  
He wanted to laugh. In the last 24 hours, his omega had collapsed, thrown his guts up, found his dead brother's phone and hidden in the bathroom from lightening, and of course, he'd gone into a partial heat... but he wanted to work on his handwriting. He'd thought maybe cleaning the unit or maths problems... though he wasn't sure how many school books Eren had left to do any way  
"Sure. I'm sure we can manage something"  
Opening the door, Levi ushered him towards the car  
"And... Levi... I want you to decide what to do about Zeke's phone. I told Krista I found it... and she said I'd know the right thing to do... the right thing to do is to trust you with it"  
"You talked about a fair bit today, didn't you?"  
"Maybe? More than I thought..."  
Eren bit his lip, looking worried. He had the feeling his boyfriend was trying to recall everything he'd said to Krista. Not wanting Eren to fall too far into his own thoughts, Levi quickly added  
"I'll think about it, ok?"  
"Good... I don't want to anymore"

Climbing into the back of his car with Eren, the small space stinking of stale cigarette from Erwin. Pulling out his shopping list, he messily added chocolate to his list as well as the dried fruit snack packs that Eren liked. Tapping Erwin on his shoulder, he let the list fall down into his lap  
"What's this?"  
"We need to swing by the shops on the way home"  
"And you're sending me in?"  
"I'm not leaving Eren in the car alone, and thanks to you, I didn't get the order in online"  
"Fine. I need to grab a few things anyway"  
"That's more like it"  
Cuddling into Eren, his omega was staring at his cast arm, his right and left hands cupping Levi's injured right as he held it carefully  
"Does it hurt?"  
"Not really. It's just awkward"  
"I hate that you're hurting"  
"I'll be fine. I'm an alpha and all. We heal quick, and I've got the best nurse in the world to look after me"  
"Y-you do?"  
Eren sounded saddened and confused  
"I'm talking about you, brat. Think you're up for looking after me?"  
"You want me to?"  
"What? Did you think Erwin was staying? He has to go back to work, and I'd much rather have you"  
Lifting Levi's hand to his face, Eren nuzzled into it  
"I'd like that... a lot"  
"Good"  
Eren kissed his palm, just above the line of his cast  
"You won't be offended that I don't have a nurses outfit, will you?"  
"I think we still have those stockings"  
Eren snorted, nodding slowly while Erwin cleared his throat  
"Oi! Keep it child friendly back there. Don't make me pull this car over"  
Eren ducked his head with a blush, his head shooting back in the next instant as Levi made it worse  
"It's ok. Dad's just cranky"  
"Oh my god. Did you just call Erwin dad?"  
Levi scrunched up his face, when Eren said it, it didn't sound as funny  
"Yeah. It didn't feel right"  
"Please don't do that again... that's just weird"  
Erwin burst out laughing, loud enough that Eren flinched. It wasn't that funny, in Levi's opinion  
"I'd make a great father. Just so you know. At least he didn't call me "Daddy""  
Eren grimaced, Levi smacking Erwin's shoulder  
"Shut up and drive"

Left alone in the car, Eren half climbed into his lap for comfort. Erwin was probably going to be a while, but at least he'd left the window down so they had fresh air... even if they were "locked" in. Nuzzling into his omega, he rubbed Eren's stomach while Eren sighed softly. After sighing for the third time, Levi poked him in the side  
"What's wrong?"  
"I don't want to go to the doctor"  
"Then don't go?"  
"Mmm... I... can't remember if I've been taking my medication properly or not, so maybe we should make an appointment?"  
He couldn't remember either, which probably wasn't great. Though his brain was taxed to its limits. He wanted sleep, and Eren's weight was comforting  
"Alright. I'll book one for you"  
"I'm sorry. I feel like... I'm always dragging you down. I... think... ugh, this heat thing is completely unwanted"  
"No. It's ok. It's not a great time for it, but it's natural for your body. Have you ever had a partial heat like this?"  
"Yeah. But usually I was working. I used to get better tips because alphas could smell the slick. It's not like I used to wear a whole lot on stage"  
"Do you miss it?"  
"Dancing?"  
"In front of everyone"  
"I... will you get mad if I say yes?"  
"I won't get mad"  
"I do... because they could never touch me. They'd throw money at me, and I didn't have to talk to them. I could just lose myself in the music"  
He'd gone and made himself mad with his own questions, Eren whining softly  
"You got mad"  
"I got jealous..."  
"I like dancing. It was the only time I used to feel sexy and confident. I miss feeling like that"  
"I think you're plenty sexy"  
"Your judgment is biased"  
"That's a big word"  
"You taught me it..."  
Levi nodded, nuzzling behind Eren's ear and kissing the spot  
"Damn me. You're still sexy"  
"I'm just me"  
"That's all I want. My Shitty Brat"  
Turning in his lap, Eren smiled softly as he pushed his lips to Levi's. This was probably a very bad idea, so why was he kissing back? His left hand roaming down towards Eren's arse, while Eren's right hand slid down his stomach, hiking his shirt up as Eren moaned. Things were about to get interesting, when they both had the crap scared out of them by Erwin knocking on the window. Breaking apart, Eren looked mortified  
"Brat..."  
"Sorry... I nearly... we should go home"  
"Now that Erwin's back, we are. Are you ok?"  
"I didn't mean... sorry"  
"Hey, it's ok. It's sexy how much you want an old man like me"  
Eren groaned, hiding his face in his hands. Fucking Erwin.

 

*  
Eren continued to hang in the same semi-heat state. It frustrated him. He didn't want his heat. He tried to deny it, and wanted it to fuck right off. He woke up horny in Levi's arms, but he didn't want to be mounted. Not like the morning after his heat had started. It'd been disturbing to know Erwin had probably heard everything. He didn't know what he wanted. It was like, ever so slight. Just enough of a heat to be annoying and embarrassing, but not enough to be a real heat. It was like his usual functional heat... only Levi didn't seem to be reacting to it. He didn't know what to call it. He just wanted to be done, because he didn't feel sexy and desirable... not when his alpha wasn't forcing himself on him.

Not wanting Levi to cop the brunt of his omega confusion, he spent most of his time in his room. Levi had printed a few pages of letters and numbers for him to trace, to get used to the flow and small size of the letters, in many ways, it felt like drawing... except... he fucking sucked at drawing. His frustration and anger over his slow progress, only made things harder. If someone did hurt him, or take him away, or took Levi away, he wanted to at least make his alpha proud and conquer this thing before that. Set up in his room, his music was playing softly. His mind totally on tracing the letter "S". Hearing Levi knocking, he frowned. Levi has said he wouldn't disturb him... and he hadn't. He locked himself away during the day and slept in Levi's arms at night  
"Come in?"

Opening the door, Eren was hit with a thick smell of distress. Levi's eyes were red, fresh tear marks on his cheeks. In that moment, Eren's heart dropped. Scrambling off his bed, things were sent flying. Wrapping his arms around Levi, his boyfriend sniffled  
"There... there's been an accident"  
"Levi, what happened?"  
"Hanji and Moblit are in hospital... their car... fuck... shit!"  
Levi pushed him off, before digging the heels of his palms into his eyes and taking a ragged breath  
"Gunther called. Hanji and Moblit have been in a car accident. They were T-bones... they don't know..."  
Fuck... fuck... he didn't know what to do. He couldn't lose Hanji. He couldn't lose Moblit and their baby... but Levi. He couldn't lose two more of his family to another car accident  
"Ok... ok, I get it. What do you need? What can I do for you?"  
"We need to head to the hospital. Shit! Why did this have to fucking happen?!"  
"I don't know... I don't know, but they're both strong. Ok... come here, come sit on my bed"  
"We have to go"  
"I know we do. It's ok... we will. Ok..."  
He needed his phone... and for Levi to breathe because he was fucking struggling right now. Getting Eren over to the bed, he pushed him down to sit, grabbing his phone up from his bed, he thumbed off the music and opened up his contacts. He nearly ducked up and called Hanji, his hands shaking so fucking badly as he pulled up Erwin's name. Erwin answered before it even started to ring  
"I'm already on my way. How's Levi?"  
"It's... he's not ok..."  
"Try and keep him calm. If he gets violent, lock yourself in your room"  
"O-ok"  
Erwin hung up on him. Eren's panic levels shooting up higher. Levi, getting violent? Was that a possibility?  
"Levi, Erwin's on his way"  
"He's on his way?"  
"Yeah... he'll be here soon"  
The smell from Levi hurt. It coated his tongue, staining his mouth with a taste akin to black toast. Stepping closer, he wrapped his arms around Levi  
"They'll be ok"  
"You don't know that"  
"I..."  
"You what? Do you know how many fucking times I've seen some pulled out of a wreck alive, only for them to fucking die on us. Do you?!"  
"N-no..."  
"I can't fucking lose them... I can't always be this fucking useless"  
"You're not useless"  
Levi pushed him off. Eren falling hard on his arse. He knew Levi was hurting and didn't mean it. But he seriously didn't think Levi would ever get violent... he loved him... but Zeke loved him and hurt him...  
"Shit..."  
Forcing himself up, he threw himself at Levi, holding him tight  
"I don't know, ok. I don't know if they're going to be ok. I don't. But I want them to be. I want them to be ok"  
"I don't want to lose them"  
"I know"  
"We try our hardest every day to save people... but when it really counts, I'm never enough"  
"No. Don't say that"  
"I couldn't save Isabel or Farlan. And I can't save Hanji or Moblit"  
"Levi. You save people. When they're scared, you're there for them. Just because someone's emergency isn't what everyone would call an emergency, doesn't mean it's any less scary for them. You're there. You do absolutely everything you can for them. You're amazing. All of you are amazing"  
Levi gave a dry laugh to his heartfelt words. He'd never seen his boyfriend like this. Even when he'd told him about Isabel and Farlan, and being there, Levi hadn't given into despair like he was right now. He didn't know what to do. It already hurt to breathe. His heart was racing so hard in his chest he was sure it would burst. Levi was supposed to be the strong one. Levi was the one who knew that to do. He didn't. He didn't know anything. What if Erwin hadn't have been able to come? With a miserable groan, slick gushed from him, his body growing hot... the heat he'd tried to suppress and deny rolling through him. Fuck... he needed to get away. He needed to before his smell affected Levi...

Growling, Levi suddenly rose, shoving the startled omega down on his bed. Lifting his legs apart, Levi pushed himself up against him. Eren letting out a terrified squeak, Levi gripping his ankles so hard it hurt  
"Levi!"  
Blinking down at him, Levi seemed to come to his senses. Pain and fear flushed over his features. The moment over in an instant. Pushing himself away, Levi rushed from Eren's room, slamming the door behind him. Crawling up his bed, Eren curled into a ball, starting to sob from fear. He wanted Hanji. He wanted her and Moblit more than he wanted his alpha... what kind of an omega did that make him?! He was confused and scared.

Erwin had sat Levi down, the man really not that far away after all. Pinching his nose to block his smell, Erwin promised to take care of Levi from him, given he couldn't go anywhere in his heat state. He wanted to be there for Hanji, and for Moblit, but the heat had hit because he was so fucking mentally weak. He should only have a day or two left, but that was long enough for anything to happen.

 

*  
Levi didn't come home for the remainder of his heat. His alpha didn't even answer his phone. All Eren could do was suffer through everything alone without knowing anything. He tried using toys, but he couldn't even bring himself to take them out the box. It felt so wrong to be having a heat and coming, when Hanji and Moblit were... he came out of his heat angry. So fucking angry. No one bothered to tell him what the fuck was happening. Levi couldn't find the fucking time to reply. Erwin said "they weren't sure what was going to happen". Wasn't that the polite way of saying that he'd only be in the way? He was just... left behind again. And lost his head because of it.

He cleaned the fucking apartment. Like really fucking cleaned it. Not even Titan escaped his wrath, getting bathed and dried. He sprayed the house out with scent canceller until he choked on it. Spraying Levi's clothes, and his own. Ridding himself completely of Levi's safe scent. He was so fucking mad at his alpha. For just leaving. Leaving when he'd gone into fucking heat. 

When Erwin came for him, Levi wasn't by his side. He didn't even want to go with the alpha, but Hanji had asked to see him and he couldn't say no to Hanji. The drive to the hospital was silent. He didn't know if it was because Erwin didn't know what to say to him, or because he'd noticed his mood. He probably didn't even want to be driving him around. Parking at the hospital, Eren followed Erwin inside, then through the maze of hallways. So many unknown scents stabbed at sensitive nose, leaving him wanting to run. Reaching Hanji's room, Erwin let him go in ahead. A strange older woman was having a whispered argument with Hanji, who wasn't backing down. The moment Hanji saw him, her face lit up. Raising her arms, he rushed into them  
"H-Hanji"  
"Sweetheart. I've missed you. Are you ok? Erwin said you... you couldn't come, and he wouldn't even give me his phone, so I couldn't check in with you"  
"Y-you were worried?"  
"Of course I was"  
"You're the one who was in a crash... I was so fucking scared for you"  
"That's so like you. Here, sit on the edge of the bed and hold my hand"  
"Hanji!"  
"Relax. This is Eren. Eren, this is Moblit's mother"  
The woman let out a huff, while Hanji hissed  
"Hanji?"  
"It's ok. I actually have something I want to ask you. That's why I had Erwin go pick you up"  
"Anything. Anything for you"  
"Can you please give us a minute?"  
"You..."  
"Please"  
Hanji's voice was firm, Moblit's mother huffed again, yet her heels clicked against the floor as she swept from the room. Waiting until the door was closed, Hanji let out a sigh of relief  
"I know she's Moblit's mother, but... never mind. I need to ask you a favour"  
"I told you, anything"  
Hanji took a deep breath, her scent saddening  
"Everyone's been lying to me, and it feels like you're the only one I can trust"  
"What? What do you mean?"  
"It's Moblit sweetheart..."  
Hanji sniffled, Eren moving to hug her as she started crying  
"... Moblit tried to shield me in the crash... he... he didn't make it. No one will tell me... but I feel it. I know he's gone"  
"Oh, Hanji... I'm so sorry"  
"They don't want me to stress, not this late in the pregnancy. This little one isn't doing very good, she's stressing, so I've asked them to induce labour... Will you stay with me?"  
"Yes. Yes, anything you need"  
Eren stroked Hanji's hair as she started crying harder  
"I know Moblit would have wanted it this way. He loved you. He loved you like a son... and he was so very proud of you"  
Eren's own tears were falling, he sobbed into Hanji's shoulder  
"I loved him too!"  
Crying hard, the pair of them rocked each other, stroking each other's hair as they tried to comfort each other  
"You don't have to stay"  
"I want to. Whatever you need. I want to be there for you"  
"Thank you. Moblit's mother wants to be there, but we talked about it. He was going to be there with me, and we also wanted to ask you a question"  
"A question?"  
"Will you be her godfather?"  
"Her what?"  
"Her godfather. If something were to happen to me, I want you to be the one to raise her"  
"I... I don't know anything about raising a child"  
"You know what love is. That's what a child needs. Love. Besides, I don't plan on going anywhere"  
Hanji let out a small chuckle, wiping her face as the hug broke. Reaching out, Eren wiped the tears from Hanji's eyes  
"Y-you better not..."  
"Moblit really loved you"  
"He loved you more... you could see it. He adored you... wherever he is, I know he still loves you. You and his little girl"  
"Thank you, sweetheart"  
"Can I get you anything?"  
"No, but now that you're here, can you press the call button for me? Now that I have my birthing partner here, it's time to get this little one out"  
Eren paled  
"What? Like... like right now?"  
"Not this very second, these things take a little time"  
"It didn't with Marco... I mean... that was fast"  
Hanji snorted  
"Push the buzzer"  
Leaning up, he did what she asked. Not expecting the dinging sound that came with it  
"Right. Now, tell me about you and Marco. Have you heard from him lately?"  
"No... not really... the last time we did, he just talked at me..."  
His hesitant reply was cut off by the opening of the door and the clipping of Moblit's mother's shoes  
"Hanji, what's wrong? Don't tell me..."  
Hanji raised her left hand  
"It's nothing. You know these doctor types, won't even let you go to the bathroom without help"  
"Maybe it's too soon for visitors..."  
"Eren isn't just a visitor, he's family"  
"You can't be getting so excited in your state. I'm sorry, Eren. Hanji needs her rest"  
"Eren is staying, but he's forgotten his wallet. I'm sorry, but are you able to pick me up a couple of magazines? Laying here and resting is making me restless. It makes me want to get up and move"  
"You can't be moving around! You just stay here love, I'll go see what they have"  
Hanji winked at him as Moblit's mother rushed away  
"All I have to do is mentioning moving and she rushes off... oh, just in time"

Hanji talked things over with the nurse, the nurse than retrieving the doctor on call, and having what seemed to be the same conversation again. After that came needles... he hated needles and a strap thing was affixed across Hanji's proud stomach. She really didn't seem to care about flashing the world as they rearranged her blankets for her, and then dissolved back into conversation, leaving him there holding Hanji's hand and trying not to be in the way.

Maybe it was because of the drugs, but by the middle of the night, Hanji had sworn more than he'd ever heard her swear before. Somehow, she seemed to keep her spirits up, though Eren could only imagine the amount of pain she must be in from losing her mate. With the nurses in and out almost on the hour, every hour, Hanji was in and out of bed, complaining about not being able to find a comfortable position. The further her labour progressed, the more scared he got. She'd assured him he didn't have to watch anything, or do anything more than hold her hand, but that didn't make him feel any less scared.

It was early in the morning when it finally came time to push. Moblit's mother had tried to evict him, as this was "women's work", and no place for man. That hadn't gone over well with Hanji. She gripped Eren's fingers so hard he'd yelped in pain, and when the woman refused to leave, she was practically thrown out the room by the head midwife. Having been in an accident only a few days prior, Hanji was moved to another room, on the off chance something went wrong during the delivery. Knowing nothing about hospital births, he was relieved as fuck to see all the equipment around him. Everyone here was trained and prepared, not like him and Marco had been.

Unlike Marco's labour, Hanji seemed to be pushing for hours. His hand so crushed that he wondered if it was broken again, as it was his left hand. The stupid gown thing he'd been made to wear kept slipping, but he couldn't let go of Hanji's hand to slide it back into place. Also, unlike Marco, Hanji didn't utter one word of abuse his way. Instead she kept thanking him for being there with her, between "motherfucker" each time a contraction hit.

At 6:05 am, on January 19, Anna Erani Berner was born. Eren hadn't been too sure about the middle name, but it was what Moblit and Hanji had both decided, and everyone knew they were both crazy. Urging him on, Eren got to cut the umbilical cord of the adorable goopy covered girl. She was tiny, smaller than Mina had been and when Hanji got to hold her, the sight melted his heart. Much like Marco, Hanji's face was filled with the love of a mother ... and tears from the lack of Moblit by her side. Eren liked to believe that he was there. That he'd gotten to see his daughter. He'd forgotten he had his phone in his pocket, something that he hadn't actually been allowed to bring in, Hanji asked him for photos. With tears in his eyes, he tried to get as many as possible of Hanji holding her daughter, before the baby girl was taken from her. Being so tiny and having been through such a trauma before birth, the little girl needed some extra help. She was also jaundice, whatever that was. Hanji didn't seem to phased though. Being a medical professional, she would have known all about the risks and stuff. Whatever. He was now a godfather! To a precious little girl that was completely perfect, from the tips of her toes, to her wispy brown hair. Twice he'd been present for births he hadn't expected to be involved in, and both were so very different. Hanji told him she felt great because they gave a dose of the good stuff. Maybe if Marco had given birth in hospital, he would have been nicer?

Spending the night with Hanji, Eren accidentally fell asleep half slumped on the bed. When he woke, Erwin and Levi were just arriving. Levi carrying a bouquet of bright pink flowers, while Erwin had a ballon saying "It's a girl!" and a stuffed pink teddy. Sitting up, his back cracked in protest, his neck and shoulders stiff from the lack of ideal position. Starting to move, so as to not be in the way, Hanji caught his hand and squeezed. His fingers were still fucking sore from that morning, but if she didn't want him to leave, he wouldn't  
"I saw congratulations were in order"  
"Yeah. Anna Erani Berner... she's down in the NICU. They're going to take me down to see her later today"  
Walking over, Levi placed the flowers on the hospital table  
"Erani?"  
"Named after her godfather, of course"  
Levi raised an eyebrow, while Erwin drew his brow. Hanji gave an exhausted laugh at the pair of them  
"Eren. Eren is her godfather. He was wonderful this morning. Cut her cord and took her first photos. Didn't you, honey"  
Eren tried to lighten the mood between the three alphas. He'd sensed it once Levi and Erwin had walked in. Now Anna was born, they wouldn't have a reason to hide the truth from Hanji  
"Only because you were gripping my hand so hard I was too scared to run"  
Hanji snorted  
"Sorry about that. Still, thank you for staying with me. I know it's what Moblit would have wanted too"  
"Yeah. So how did you two find out?"  
Instead of them answering, Hanji pulled his phone off the table on the other side of Hanji's bed, handing it back to him  
"I hope you don't mind. I logged into my Facebook account while you were sleeping... seeing no one else lets me use their phone"  
Erwin placed the balloon weight and bear on the table, pulling himself to full height and starting  
"Hanji..."  
"It's ok. I know Moblit... I know he passed. I can feel it. When the accident happened, he tried to shield me. I'm not happy that you all lied to me, but I don't want to fight. Eren here is the only one who didn't lie or hide anything from me. That's why I had you pick him up yesterday"  
"I'm sorry, Hanji. We shouldn't have kept it from you..."  
"No. You shouldn't have"  
"None of us knew how to proceed. Anna was in distress, and they warned us that any extra stress may send you into labour"  
"What's done is done... and if you really want to make it up to me, you can get me my phone"  
Erwin gave an awkward kind of laugh  
"I'm not sure where it ended up, but I'll look into it"  
Eren kept his focus on Hanji. Too nervous to look to Levi. His boyfriend had looked pretty crap when he came in, which made it hard to be mad at him about everything  
"Thanks. I'm sure Eren doesn't want me taking over his phone"  
"I don't mind at all"  
Hanji flashed him a smile, reaching over and patting the back of his hand that she was holding  
"I know you don't, Sweetheart. Why don't you go rinse your face. The bathroom is just there, and you can leave the door open"  
"Huh?"  
"You were drooling in your sleep"  
Raising her hand, she tapped the side of her mouth  
"Oh... actually, stretching sounds really good. I don't think I can feel my arse"  
"If you stand up and walk past Levi, I'm sure he'll grope you"  
"Who said I want to be groped?"  
"Even if you can't feel your arse, that doesn't mean we can't"

The pain of a memory flashed through his mind, completely unwanted. The smell of blood last night he'd been able to deal with, but now his anxieties were amped up over a simple joke  
"Are you ok?"  
Nodding quickly, he flashed Hanji a smile  
"Yeah. I'm still asleep"  
"When Moblit's mother gets here, Levi and Erwin can run you home. You're recovering from your heat, so your emotions must be a bit overwhelmed"  
"Slightly more than a bit... I think I'm still in shock over it all"  
"You did so good last night. You didn't panic at all, and you kept reassuring me. Thank you for being there"  
He didn't even remember reassuring her  
"Are you sure I didn't swear the whole time?"  
"No. That was all me. Now go wash your face..."

His stiff body protested as he walked to the bathroom. Passing Levi, he caught a whiff of his scent. Fuck. It smelt like Levi was still distressed... exhausted... and slightly... was that scotch? He wanted to wrap his arms around him, but didn't know if Levi would be ok with that. Heading into the bathroom, he flicked the light on and walked to the basin, eyeing himself in the sad excuse of a safety mirror. He looked revolting. Exhausted and pale. His hair was sticking up in every angle, while the drool near his mouth was all crusty. Hanji was a beautiful kind of exhausted, while he looked like shit on the bottom of a shoe. Washing his face, rinsing his mouth and retrying his hair, he managed to seem somewhat more presentable, and his bladder was extremely appreciative of the fact he closed the door. He'd needed to pee when he'd woken up, but hadn't been able to leave Hanji's side.

Returning from the bathroom, Erwin was now sitting in the chair he'd vacated, while Levi was half sitting on the edge near the window. Catching his eye, Hanji was less than subtle as she pointed first to him, then to Levi. Moving to Levi's side, he left a little space between them as he leaned back and tried to make it look as effortless as Levi made it look. His long legs made that hard. The position wasn't comfortable at all. When the nurses came in to help Hanji up, the three of them were kicked out of the room. Eren grateful to be out of the awkward position he'd been stuck in. Rolling his shoulders, he tried to ease the tension, but all that happened was he let out a huge yawn.

"Busy night?"  
Eren snorted, nodding to Erwin as they wandered down the hallway, Levi was half a step behind them  
"You could say that. I think Hanji ruined my hand"  
Holding up his bruised hand, Erwin laughed  
"She did a good job"  
"She did. You should see Anna, she's perfect"  
"I've seen the photos. So two births?"  
"Hanji's was better than Marco's, and definitely prefer being up this end to down there"  
Erwin gave him three hard pats to the shoulder blade, before gripping the top of his right shoulder  
"Let's go get you some breakfast. I'd say you deserve it"  
"Right now, I just want to sleep for like a year. Hanji's labour took forever. I think I fell asleep sometimes after 8..."  
Hearing the familiar click of high heels, Eren's head jerked up. He was barely functioning, but didn't want Moblit's mother having a go at Hanji. Not when she'd been so angry the previous night. Sidestepping so he was between both Erwin and Levi, and the left side of the hallway was clear, the three of them were snubbed by Mrs Berner and the man he assumed to be Moblit's father. The resemblance was painful to see. The man was almost a perfect copy of Moblit, with just a few more grey hairs. Taking a half-step out, he watched the pair growing closer to Hanji's room. Erwin's voice carried a heavy sadness  
"They're Moblit's parents"  
"I know. His mother hates me"  
"I don't think she hates you. It's just been hard"  
"No... last night, Hanji had her basically removed. She wanted to be there for the birth. Which is "women's work"... she was absolutely furious with Hanji. She might have a huge family, but she's not that fond of male omegas. I just hope she doesn't say anything to Hanji. Anna's going to be in hospital for a while, and it's hurting her enough to know she can't hold her, and Moblit isn't here to see her"  
"Spoken like a true Godfather"  
"I'm still not sure about all that... but it's what Moblit wanted... same with Anna's middle name... whatever. I'm too tired to keep talking"  
Slinging his arm over his shoulder, Erwin guided him towards the cafeteria area. Levi still hadn't said anything, and it felt like his boyfriend was ignoring him.

Even sitting at the same table together, Levi wouldn't look him in the eye. Eren didn't know what the fuck he was supposed to say or do? Erwin was the one keeping the conversation awkwardly between the three of them, and even he seemed to be starting to really struggle. If light of everything he'd been through, he was too tired to pick a fight... but Levi hadn't even given him some kind of entrance... or anything. Pushing the plate with the remnants of his wedge, sour cream and sweet chilli sauce into the middle of the table, he yawned again. Who knew that not talking could be so fucking exhausting?  
"Ready to go home?"  
Eren blinked at Erwin. Home? Were they waiting on him?  
"Yeah. I suppose it's time... Hanji would tell me off I didn't go home and sleep"  
It wasn't like he wanted to leave. He just didn't want to be in the way... not when his post heat depression was also simmering the background...  
"That she would. She was worried about you"  
"I know. We did have hours to talk about a whole heap of stuff last night"  
"How mad was she?"  
"That you didn't tell her about Moblit? She felt betrayed. She already knew he was gone, but she was stuck acting like she didn't... she's so fucking strong..."  
"Eren..."  
"I don't want to talk about it. I'm mad at both of you for not giving me any kind of fucking warning or telling me Moblit had died. I just want to go home and cuddle with Titan"  
Erwin looked pained, while Levi looked away. Yeah. They really needed to go home. He'd just told himself he was too tired to pick a fight, then his mouth had to go and betray him like that. The sooner they got home. The sooner his sooky and sulking attitude could be locked away in his room... away from the two alphas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It had to be done


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sigh.  
> I was going to do a thing, then remembered I couldn't do the thing, without setting things up for the thing to happen... and had to delete half the chapter. Now it feels subpar, and awkward. But the thing... the thing is coming!

Levi wasn't proud of himself. Not over how he'd broken down upon hearing Moblit and Hanji had been in an accident, nor how he'd shoved Eren away, before shoving him down when his brat's heat had suddenly intensified... before cowardly running. His boyfriend had messaged, despite being in heat. His worry only made him feel shittier over leaving him, and with Eren having his heat, he didn't want to distress him further with the news of Moblit's death. He knew Moblit meant the world to Eren, and that Eren had been overcome a lot to build the relationship between them... to the point that Eren was able to confide things in Moblit that he hadn't talked to Levi about. He didn't understand why it had to be Moblit. The man had everything going for him. He was going to be a father. He and Hanji were about to start their family... it wasn't fucking fair.

They hadn't seen Moblit the day the accident occurred, and Hanji had been unconscious upon arrival. He'd spent hours sitting in the staff lounge of the Emergency Department, waiting for Mike to come back and deliver the news on her condition. Erwin hadn't even been able to stay, due to still being on shift. He wanted to scream and curse, convinced that Hanji would pass, like Isabel had. That he'd lose her too... Mike had been exhausted when he finally tracked him down, bringing Erwin with him. Explaining that they were keeping her sedated due to foetal distress, he'd sent them home for the night. But home had meant returning to Erwin's, leaving Eren scared alone. That night, he'd drowned himself in drink, almost literally. Drinking enough for the hang over to still be lingering when they finally were allowed to see Hanji. Moblit's mother was already there, fussing over Hanji, the mother of Moblit's child. Her last tie to her son's life. Hanji hadn't asked for Moblit, they all had the feeling she already knew he was gone, but lied to themselves, telling themselves she wasn't asking as assumed he was recovering, or that he was dealing with the aftermath of the crash. It was all a fucking shit storm. That he handled fucking poorly.

And now he was paying for it. With Eren. Every time their eyes met, which Eren was clearly trying his hardest to avoid, his boyfriend looked lost and hurt. Levi didn't have the right words to say, and even the wrong ones died on his tongue. He'd acted horribly. He'd pushed Eren away and ran to Erwin for support. What kind of alpha did that make him? He didn't know Hanji would choose to have Eren with her during the birth of Anna, not when she had Moblit's family already there. Her parents were both busy, as they were also doctors. Erwin had called them, explained everything and they would be flying in a few more days, and made him promise to call and give daily updates until they could be there with her.

Arriving back at their apartment should have been reassuring. The mix of his and Eren's scents, should have been there to soothe his alpha. Only, the moment they entered, he smelt no traces of Eren in the space. His boyfriend didn't seemed phased at all. Walking across to the recliner, Eren picked up Titan and carried him off to his room, the door closing harder than necessary, but it wasn't slammed. Groaning, Levi wandered over to the sofa, throwing himself down and burying his face in his hands  
"Should I go?"  
"No. No. It's not you. It's me"  
"I didn't realise you were breaking up with me... but in all seriousness, if I'm going to be in the way..."  
"No. He at least talks to you"  
"He's right there, in his room. It's not like you can't make the first move"  
"And what am I supposed to say?"  
"You don't have to say anything. You know Eren, all you have to do is reach out and he'll..."  
"It shouldn't have to be him. Fuck. I don't know what to say to him"  
"We just had this conversation. Go sit by him, or better yet, get some fucking rest. Cuddle up with him. His post heat had to have set in by now, and in the space of a day, he's learned that Moblit had passed, and he is now a Godfather. His head's probably all over the place"  
Reaching blindly, Levi grabbed the closest cushion from the sofa, hurling it in vaguely in Erwin's direction   
"Fine. Just stay the fuck out of my room"

Opening Eren's door without knocking, he didn't want to give his boyfriend the chance to reject him. Once again, his cowardice showing. Laying on his bed, Eren was talking softly to Titan, more like mumbling to him  
"Eren..."  
Looking over his shoulder to him, Eren's eyes were red and wet. The lingering scent canceller must have been masking his boyfriend's pain   
"I don't want to talk... but... can you hold me"  
Striding across the room, Levi climbed up behind his boyfriend, wrapping his arm around his waist as he buried his face against Eren's shoulder. Seeking out his hand, Eren released Titan so he could hold it. In his arms, Eren started to weep, soft sobs turning into howls. Nuzzling his neck, Levi kept his mouth shut like Eren wanted. His own eyes growing damp all over again. It wasn't fucking fair. None of this was fucking fair.

Having fallen asleep after Eren had, he woken to find his boyfriend staring at him. Eyes wet again, as his bottom lip quivered. Reaching out, Levi pushed Eren's hair back behind his ear, before leaning in and kissing him softly. He'd meant for it to be comforting, but the way Eren kissed him back, it stirred something deep inside of him. A need to be connected to him. He loved Eren with his heart and soul. Even with his cast on, there was a flurry of movement, each rushing to undress each other. Blind with need, he pushed into Eren's heat without stopping to prep his love. Driving into him as hard as he could, over and over, Eren chanted his name, almost like a prayer. He needed to knot him. He needed to claim him. Mark him as his and only his. Grabbing Eren by the hips, he hoisted him up, growling and snarling as he bit down on the omegas smooth shoulder. He might be mourning Moblit, but right now, his mind was focused on how warm and alive his love was. He didn't want to lose Eren. He wanted everything. Kids. Bonding. Marriage. Thrusting up half a dozen times, his knot popped, Eren clenching around him as his cum splattered on their stomachs. Wrapping his arms around him, Eren rolled his hips, drawing moans from both of them  
"Levi... I love you. I love you... don't leave me behind... don't leave me alone"  
"You too brat. Never leave my side... I want to make you. I want to marry you. I want a family with you..."  
Eren nodded quickly, his lips so soft and sweet, as he pressed a hard kiss to Levi's  
"Make me yours... all yours"  
Leaning back, Eren exposed his neck for Levi to mark  
"Eren... are you sure?"  
"Please... you're my alpha. I found everything I could ever need in you"  
He wanted to... he wanted to so fucking badly. But as he drank the sight of his mate before him, he was reminded again of how young Eren was. He wasn't even 21, and he was dating an alpha 15 years his senior... Eren had his whole entire life ahead of him, and when he marked him, he wanted this to be special, not a byproduct of mental anguish. Using his left hand, he gently placed it over Eren's heart   
"When I bond with you, I want it to be special. I want it to be like the first time we should have had together. I want to do it right and show you how fucking much you mean to me"  
"I don't want to wait... I don't... if you... if you die... it would be all I'd have left"  
"I'm not going to die"  
"Moblit didn't think he was going to die either... Moblit and Hanji, they..."  
Leaning in, to nuzzle his nose against Eren's cheek, he sighed softly   
"Please let me do this right. Please let me show you what you mean to me"  
"I don't want you to die!"  
Eren started to cry. Each heave of his chest causing him to ripple and clench around him, Levi hissing at the delicious sensations around his knot  
"I am in no rush to leave someone as beautiful as you, by yourself. Ok?"  
"Moblit didn't get a choice!"  
"Ok... come back here. You need a shower, and some food"  
"I want to see Hanji"  
"We can do that too. I can give the hospital a call? See if she's up for visitors?"  
Eren nodded, letting himself be guided back into Levi's hold properly. Erwin had been right, again. Actions spoke louder than words.

 

*  
Eren hated the bright blue sky. He hated the gentle wind and lazily moving clouds. He hated the warmth of the sun on his shoulders and face, and he hated the chirps of the birds. He felt so fucking numb. Despite her three week stay in hospital, Anna had been finally released that morning. The first thing the girl was going to know of the world, and of her father, was this funeral. His funeral.. Moblit's funeral. It wasn't fair... she was so tiny, sleeping in Hanji's arms as she wept. Her parents hand their arms around her waist, supporting her. Eren had tried to get close, but with the whole Berner family there, he hadn't been able to. And he didn't want to intrude. Not when Hanji needed her parents more than his sympathies. As the Reverend conducting the funeral spoke, none of it felt like what Moblit would like. It was too organised. There were no personal traces of Hanji or Moblit in any of it all. It was all Mrs Berner, and not Mrs Hanji Berner. Moblit hadn't been deeply religious, not like the Preacher man standing by the large photo of Moblit smiling. He wouldn't have liked all this stuffiness. He wanted to be numb to the whole thing. He wanted to deny it all, and wake up to find it was a dream... like every single day since he'd learned of Moblit's death. With Levi by his side, and Erwin on his other side, he felt walled in by the sad scents rolling off both of them. He hadn't gone into another fictional heat, from the emotional stress like he'd thought he would. Instead, each time Levi had touched him since not marking him, his stomach would clench. His omega was mad that Levi hadn't taken the chance, despite Levi's kind and pure words over why he wouldn't. It really fucking sucked.

When the service came to an end, the three of them made their way back to Levi's Range Rover, Eren climbing into the back. He hadn't gotten a chance to talk to Hanji. He'd been in to see her as often as he could, and with her phone lost in the car accident, he'd lent her his. That way he could borrow Levi's and talk to her whenever she needed someone to talk to. He knew how much it sucked to lose someone, and she'd been there for him. Erwin was just turning on the ignition when the back passenger door opened, Hanji sliding in with a long sigh. Anna held tight in her arms. Turning back, Erwin's expression softened   
"Hanji"  
"Can you drive?"  
Erwin nodded, the moment her door closed, he pulled away from the curb  
"Eren would you mind?"  
Taking Anna, the girl let out a sleepy yawn, her big brown eyes blinking at him. Fiddling her seatbelt into place, Hanji then held her arms back out to take Anna back  
"Thanks guys. I know they mean well... but..."  
"It's exhausting?"  
Hanji nodded to Erwin  
"Yeah. Thanks for coming, it would have met a lot to him"  
Eren placed his hand on Hanji's thigh. She was so fucking brave. Getting back into a car so soon after the accident...  
"There's no where else we would have been"  
Hanji flashed him a small smile, before settling back with Anna. This wasn't fair. She should be at home, enjoying her role as a mother while Moblit doted over the pair of them.

Moblit's wake was being held at his and Hanji's favourite bar. Her house not large enough to accomodate the whole of the Berner family, and not everyone could get time off work, so the inner city location was easier for them to drive to. Which Eren felt was kind of rude. Moblit was a person who would have a way to be there for any of them. He kept that to himself though. Helping Hanji with Anna, he kept close to them as the three of them entered the bar. Unlike the funeral, this was more Moblit. Tequila sat in front of a photo of the alpha, while people he'd never seen before milled around the photo. Noticing Hanji, Hanji was caught up with greeting everyone. From their uniforms, he could see that there were people from all three emergency service branches. Making sure Hanji was alright, he felt small as he wandered over to where Levi and Erwin were already sitting at the bar  
"Everything alright?"  
Eren let out a huff  
"No... please tell me you ordered me something to drink?"  
"Yeah"  
Sitting next to Levi, he took his boyfriend's hand. Levi interlaced their fingers together, leaning over and placing his head on his shoulder   
"Are you alright?"  
Levi nodded, kissing his shoulder   
"Yeah. This never gets any easier"  
He wouldn't know. He couldn't remember his mum's funeral and Zeke hadn't even had a funeral. He didn't even know who would have turned up if there had been one for him.

Erwin had ordered them some kind of tequila based drink. He really didn't love tequila, but was tired of trying to keep everything together. Even if it was for just a little while, he wanted to push Moblit's death aside and concentrate on remembering his life. Playing the polite boyfriend, he met a few more of Levi's friends, well, not really friends, just people he knew from work. He knew Eld, Gunther, Petra and Olou. Petra still didn't seem to like him, but she could go jump. He didn't have time for her petty sulking. Excusing himself to the bathroom, Eren needed a minute. So many saddened alphas and omegas meant so many scents, leaving him feeling even worse than it was just Levi and Erwin at the funeral. Taking a few deep breaths, he rinsed his face off, jumping when the door creaked open. Levi walking in  
"Are you ok?"  
"Just the scents. They're getting to be a bit too much..."  
"I don't think anyone thought about that. If you need a break, we can go sit in the car for a bit?"  
"No... no. I want to be here for Hanji"  
Levi walked over to him, wrapping his arms around as he hid his face against his neck   
"You've been so strong and amazing for her. It makes me so proud that you're my boyfriend"

Holding Levi's hand, they walked from the bathroom. Took half a step back. There were angry scents in the air. He didn't know who they came from, only that other alphas had seemed to respond with their own scents. His hand flew up to grip his chest. His fear flooding his whole body. There'd been so many angry scents when Zeke was killed... his already upset anxieties, had his mind betraying his body. These were all friends of Moblit and Hanji. He didn't need to be scared. Whining his distress, he inadvertently tugged Levi's hand as he tried to back up into the bathroom   
"Eren, hey. Look at me. You're ok. I've got you"  
Levi didn't let him escape back into the bathroom. Pulling him up against his side instead   
"Just breathe. There's nothing to be scared of"  
"S-someone's angry. I can't calm down..."  
"Ok, come on. Stay by my side"

Leading him through the bar, and outside, Eren pushed his boyfriend away as he took a deep breath. They'd passed Moblit's family near the doors and fuck... the smell of anger was coming from them... and there were a lot of Berner's in there. Leaning against the wall, he undid his tie and took a deep breath. It took a few minutes, but finally he could breathe again. There was no anger out here. No conflicting or agitated scents  
"Better?"  
"Yeah... sorry. Moblit's family is way too big"  
Levi nodded, his boyfriend was standing there, looking unimpressed  
"I copped their scent on the way out. Fucking hell. I have no idea what they're all so shitty about"  
"No idea... I hope Hanji's alright"  
"She'll be ok. Erwin's in there, and he won't let anything happen to her. I'm more concerned about you, right now"  
"When... Zeke died... they were all so angry... I'm just... need a breath"  
Levi nodded at him again  
"I'm in no rush to go back in there"  
"Do you think they'd notice if we just took Hanji and Anna?"  
"I would say so..."  
Levi's sentence was cut off as one on Moblit's brothers was literally thrown out the door of the bar, a second brother grabbing the first brother by the shirt front as he moved to tower of him. Levi's eyes flashed, in a second he was there, pushing the two of them apart   
"Enough! What the fuck do you think you're fucking doing! Show some fucking respect for your brother!"  
Neither alpha appreciated their fight being interrupted by a shorter alpha. The second brother, snarled, while the first swung at Levi. Growling, Eren threw himself forward. No one was hurting his alpha. Driving his knee up he dropped the angry alpha with no regrets. From the bar, another two of Moblit's brothers came out and for a moment, he thought Levi was about to be mobbed by them. Looking from the brother on the pavement, to the one looking like he was about deck Levi, the stockier of two that had come out, sighed   
"Can't you two get along for just one day? Moblit wouldn't be happy at all to see this. They didn't cause you any trouble did they?"  
"No. Take them home. Hanji and Anna don't need this shit"

Separating the pair of them, they went off in pairs. The one he'd kneed in the nuts, whimpering as he was lead away towards the carpark. Served him fucking right. Brushing his hair back from his face, Levi's face softened the moment their eyes met  
"He didn't hurt you, did he?"  
Shaking his head, Eren opened his arms, letting Levi stumble into them. It was rare his lover got so mad  
"I could have handled it"  
"No one hurts my alpha"  
Levi snorted  
"Not when I have my omega to rush in to save me"  
"Hey, don't make me sound lame"  
"I wasn't. I was commending your bravery"  
"Kneeing an alpha in the testicles isn't exactly brave"  
"It is when their brother is right there and their whole family is right inside. And I get the feeling this isn't the first time you've done that"  
"Someone used to have to stand up for the dancers... we might have been omegas and strippers, but not everyone got the no touching rule"

 

*  
It made Levi proud to know Eren was the kind of person who stood up for others, even with al his fears... though back then, he didn't have quiet as many as he did now. Sliding his hands down to Eren's arse, he couldn't help but tease him a little as he groped him softly   
"What about me? Can I touch?"  
Eren faked a thinking sigh, before slowly nodding   
"Just a little. To be honest... I haven't... No. My omega's been a shit lately"  
"How so?"  
"It feels like you rejected us... when you didn't mark me. I didn't want to tell you, because that's not how I feel"  
He'd noticed. Not right away, but he'd noticed. That's why he'd kept Eren close to him... but he hadn't realised that was why. Not when Eren had wrapped his arms around him. He'd half expected it was because they'd both forgotten Valentine's Day with everything else happening  
"I'm sorry"  
"No. No, you did nothing wrong. It's just... with everything. I guess I didn't realise how different having a funeral would feel..."  
Because Zeke never had one... not that he deserved one...   
"Do you want to talk about it?"  
"Not really... I'll be ok. It's just... all fucked up at the moment"  
"It is... I get the cast off next week, that's something"  
"That means you're going back to work..."  
"I still have another two weeks before then... with all this shit happening, I was thinking, that maybe we could go on a date? Get out of the apartment and just be together?"  
"I'd like that. A lot. Fuck... is that selfish? Going on a date when..."  
"No. You know Hanji. She's wanted us to get together since you fall off the stage. She's not going to want us not making the most of our time together"  
"That's because Hanji's so kind... I don't know what she's going to do when everyone leaves. I'm scared for her"  
"Moblit's mother is going to stay another month, and her parents until the end of the month"  
"Still... do you think she'll let me visit? And you know, try and help out"  
"She'd love that... we need to organise sending you to those dance classes too"  
"I thought you forgot about them"  
"No. I've already contacted them and they have a group starting up in March"  
"Ok. Cool"  
He'd thought Eren would be happier. Maybe he should have waited to mention it?  
"Do you want to head back in?"  
"Honestly, no. I still think we should grab Hanji and Anna, and make a run for it"  
Kissing Eren's cheek, he shook his head   
"Hanji will come find us if she needs another quick escape"

Moving to sit, Levi pulled his phone out, messaging Erwin to let him know there still outside. Erwin had half moved in with them, not officially. No. He was an unwelcome houseguest that didn't know he had to leave. With Hanji in hospital, then out and with plans for Moblit's funeral, it'd been easier to travel from Levi's apartment rather than the drive from home  
"Texting Erwin?"  
"Yeah..."  
"Anything interesting?"  
"I thought I better tell him where we are, before he files a missing persons report"  
"He does know he doesn't live with us, right?"  
"I was just wandering the same thing"  
Levi's phone vibrated, Erwin replying "to stay there"  
"What did he stay?"  
"To stay here. I don't know where he thought we were going"  
"He's got the car keys too... I'm game to try making a run for it, if you are"  
"You really don't want to be here, do you?"  
"Here is fine. It would be even more fine if people kept their shitty scents to themselves"  
God. He was so proud of how Eren sounded right then. It was clear Eren was his omega.

"What's this about scents?"  
Eren let out a scream, surprised by Erwin's voice. Standing up, his boyfriend punched Erwin in the arm  
"You scared the shit out of me!"  
Erwin chuckled, rubbing his arm as if Eren hadn't just given him a dead arm  
"Sorry, Eren. I actually have someone who wants to talk to you"  
Leading a man dressed in a police officer around the partition and into the alfresco area, Erwin lifted two chairs off one of the tables, like Levi had  
"This is Floch Forster. Moblit actually suggested I contact him about Zeke's phone. I passed it onto him for analysis"  
Eren let out a small gasp, while Levi wanted to punch Erwin in the face. Now was not the time for this  
"You told him!"  
"Eren, it's ok"  
Eren glared at Erwin, while Floch just smiled professionally   
"With no new leads on your brother's murder, the case was passed down to me"  
If Eren was talking to the police, it might be safer if someone other than he and Erwin were listening. There was a lot Erwin didn't know, and a lot Eren refused to say  
"Is Eren going to need a lawyer?"  
Floch waved his hand  
"No. No. Erwin simply said you'd found Zeke's phone outside your apartment and didn't know how to proceed"  
He never should have let Erwin take it from him in the first place. Levi cleared his throat   
"That's right"  
"And how did you know it was Zeke's?"  
"It... was the cover he had on when I was with him"  
Eren didn't want to be talking, he was begging Levi to save him with his eyes   
"And did you turn it on? To confirm?"  
Eren shook his head, looking down to his lap then back to Levi   
"I did. Erwin was with me"  
"And neither of you deleted anything from it?"  
"No. There didn't seem to be anything on it. We only checked the messages and call log, both of them were empty"  
Floch's nodding, and never wavering smile, were getting on his nerves   
"I just have one more question for now. How long was the phone in your possession before you passed it into Erwin's?"  
"Overnight"  
"Thanks, fellas. Eren, I might have some questions for you when the analysis results come in. Is it ok if you come in and answer some questions that might come up for me"  
"I don't know anything... I don't even know what Zeke did for a job... I don't know anything"  
Eren was starting to panic, even Floch seemed to notice the strong sour scent   
"Today is not the day for this. Eren was extremely close to Moblit. He also has PTSD and extreme anxieties. That's without mentioning the fact he was forced to witness his brother's murder, before being left for dead"  
His voice was icy cold, his teeth bared. Eren was not prepared for any kind of questioning, and Erwin was a fucking douche for pulling this. Floch held that same fucking smile   
"I wouldn't dream of asking for him to come in alone. I'll be in touch"  
Floch left, Levi reaching over and pulling Eren until he climbed into his lap. His omega was having a fucking panic attack... after he worked so hard to prevent the one inside the bar  
"Levi"  
Shooting a glare at Erwin, Levi was done  
"Give me my fucking keys"  
"Uh. What?"  
"My fucking keys. I don't care who the fuck you go home with, but it won't be with us"  
"Levi, I..."  
"You what? You knew this day was hard enough for all of us, and you pull this fucking shit. I can't even look at you, without wanting to punch you in the fucking face"  
Eren whining, pitching forward and throwing up on Erwin's shoes. He fucking deserved it. Holding his hand out, Erwin pulled his keys out with a sigh, and a grimace. Levi was tempted to pat Eren on the back in the hopes he'd throw up on them again  
"I was only trying to help"  
"You could have picked any other day. Any"  
Placing his keys in his hand, Erwin rose, not saying anything as he walked away. Lifting Eren, he sidestepped the puddle   
"We're going home. Don't worry, I'm not going to tell Hanji what happened"  
Eren still wasn't breathing properly, but Levi had the feeling he wasn't going to settle down until they were safely back at the apartment, in an environment Eren knew was safe.


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Claps hands happily. I got to do the thing

Eren had been quiet since the wake, or rather, since their run in with Floch. Each time Levi's phone rang, his boyfriend would flinch visibly, his whole body tensing. Erwin had tried calling and texting, but Levi had ignored him. Choosing between his boyfriend and his best friend wasn't a great feeling... his own anger over the situation has ebbed away when he realised it was Erwin's way of trying to ease Eren into the fact he'd handed the phone to the police, he'd just picked the wrong fucking time to do so. If Erwin had organised meeting at a cafe or even going for drinks, it would have been easier for Eren to keep calm... still, Erwin was a taboo word in the apartment.

It was a very tense couple of days before Floch called again, asking if Eren could down to the station. Eren really didn't want to go, but Levi promised he didn't have to talk, or say more than he needed to, as it would mostly be things about the time he spent with Zeke, rather than what had happened that day. Eren didn't seem to believe him, so he bribed him with ice cream, popcorn and whatever movie he wanted to watch that night. He knew he was forgiven when his boyfriend started negotiating for bourbon on top of his three offerings.

Dressed in one of Levi's Paramedic jackets, because they were the thickest and mostly like to prevent Eren tearing up his arms if he started to scratch, Levi lead Eren into the police station. If Floch could have waited another few days, Levi wouldn't have been stuck driving around with his shitty cast still on. Basically, his mood wasn't great. Waiting in the reception, Eren was glued to his side, both hands holding his  
"It's ok. I'm not going anywhere"  
"I don't want to be here"  
"I know. You're brave for being here"  
"I think you mean stupid"  
"You may be a lot of things, but stupid is not one of them"  
"Zeke said not to trust the police"  
He's heard that one before... and he knew corruption existed. But when they could and were willing to help, there was no one else he'd rather have on his side, well, other than Eren   
"I told you. If you don't know something or can't say, just say "I don't know". No one expects you to remember what happened, and you don't need to tell anyone you don't want to. Worst comes to worst, pretend you're going to work or something"  
"Levi. I keep having a thought... what if Hanji and Moblit were hit because Moblit talked?"  
Unfortunately, Levi had had the same thought more than once, until being filled in on the incident   
"It wasn't. Some guy was running late for his meeting. He spilt his coffee in his lap and took his eyes off the road. It really was a horrible accident"  
The guy had lived, though he was going to be in a wheel chair for the rest of his life. It was hardly worth it, not for a spilt coffee  
"I can't get it out my head"

"Levi, Eren! Over here!"  
Holding a door open with his foot, Floch had that fucking smile on his face again. Leading Eren over, his omega was shaking like a leaf  
"It's ok..."  
"Guys, thanks for coming down so soon. We're just down in the room here, on the left..."  
Guiding them, Levi and Eren entered the room. Levi's eyes narrowing slightly at the sight of Dot Pixis in the room. He'd come across the guy more than once, and seemed a pretty straight shooter  
"Levi, it's been a while"  
"It has, sir. This is my omega, Eren Yeager"  
Eren nodded at Pixis  
"Nice to meet you, sir"  
"Oh, you know each other?"  
Floch must have been pretty knew. Not that he was bragging, but in this area of the city, he and Erwin well known. Maybe it was because he was new, Moblit had approached him?  
"Levi's a paramedic. Our paths have crossed before. Now, are you going to invite them to sit? Or stand there next to the door"  
Floch ducked his head, scratching the back of it with his free hand  
"Yes, well, if you two could please take a seat. I have a couple of questions for you Eren. Levi, I would prefer if you didn't interrupt or lead Eren's answers"  
Eren looked to him  
"It's fine. He just means I need to keep quiet and let you talk. If you start feeling anxious, I'll probably pick it up before they do"  
"But you don't have to leave, right?"  
"No"

Sitting down in front of the two men, Eren kept his arms around himself, instead of holding Levi's hands. Stating their names, the case number and such, for the recording, Levi felt like shit was getting way too real too fast. Floch had said he had questions, not that he was going to interrogate Eren. Starting with easy questions, like who Zeke was to Eren, Floch seemed to know Eren's past. He knew enough to know Eren had been abused while in the foster system, and that Zeke had taken custody of him after the abuse, if Floch wanted Eren talking, he was going the wrong way about things. He could see Eren getting more and more nervous. Floch's next line made Eren gasp  
"Did you know Zeke was planning on marrying you off, to pay his debts?"  
"He wouldn't... he loved me"  
"When we checked Zeke's phone, we were unable to retrieve his messages, but, when we opened it like a USB, we found this..."  
Pulling two pages from his folder, Floch placed them down in front of them. Eren tried to escape backwards in his chair. Grabbing up the first page, it didn't say who the messages were between, but they seemed to be a report of kind on Eren and the way Zeke was raising him. Carefully reading both pages, his mind didn't jump immediately to Zeke selling Eren to clear his debts, but it also didn't not cross his mind. It was clear Zeke had gotten himself into a situation he couldn't get out of, and as for March 30th, Eren's 21st, it did seem like Eren wouldn't have been in Zeke's life for much longer...  
"Ok. Forgetting that for now, did Zeke have control of your legal matters?"  
"Wh-what do you mean?"  
"Things like your bank account. Any medical issues? Did Zeke sort all of these things out?"  
"Hanji and Levi helped me get my bank account..."  
"Did Zeke know about this?"  
"I'm not sure"  
Floch made a note of something, before looking up  
"Did you know your mother Carla had a life insurance policy? Naming both you and your father as beneficiaries?"  
"No"  
"What about your father? Did you know he had a life insurance policy?"  
"I haven't seen him... since I was 11. I think. He didn't like his son being an omega"  
"After several years, a person can be declared legally dead. Did you know Zeke had carried out those proceedings?"  
Eren shook his head quickly   
"No... Zeke never told me"  
"Then you didn't know that everything was left to you?"  
"No"  
"With both inheritances, you were looking at coming into nearly $90,000. These policies are quite old. Not like today's, where they're hundreds of thousands. However, it would have been enough to pay Zeke's bills, payable on the date of your 21st birthday"  
It clicked for Levi. Balling his hands into fists, he wanted to fucking punch something. Keep Eren around until the money comes in, then toss him away... after all Eren had done for him, Zeke had his own fucking agenda. Eren was going to start putting everything together soon. He wasn't stupid... he'd thought Zeke cared. In some small may. Especially if he was angered over what had been done to Eren, now it just seemed like he didn't want his "merchandise" being soiled. It made him fucking sick  
"I don't know what you want from me! He was my brother! He loved me! He looked after me! He took me in and he taught me how to be a good omega!"  
Letting out a distressed purr, it was the first time in months Eren had made that sound. He'd forgotten how much he fucking hated the sound of it. How it seemed to echo in his chest and make his heart ache for his young lover... Floch opened his mouth, but Pixis raised his hand   
"That's enough. I'm terminating this interview. Levi, do you want me to call for the precinct medic?"  
"No. I've got him"  
It was clear to a blind man that Eren didn't know anything. That all this had come as a nasty shock to him. Ending the interview, Eren stumbled as he rose to his feet. Levi reaching out, only for Eren to jerk out of his hold. His omega was trying his hardest to hold it in. To stop his purrs and to keep from running.

Eren purred the whole way home. Hiding his face against his knees, his body oozed his scent out in thick waves of what Levi could only describe as "pure agony". If Eren wasn't about to go into heat, Levi would be extremely surprised. His omega had loved and adored his brother. He would have done absolutely anything Zeke had asked, and to find out that things weren't as perfect as he'd built them up to be in his head... it had to be killing him inside. He'd surrendered his body to protect the very same alpha that had planned to sell him off... This shit right here. This is why hated his own dynamic.

Eren headed straight for their room when they arrived home. He'd thought the omega would head for his own room, especially when Eren had flinched away from in the elevator. He hadn't even tried to touch his boyfriend, instead he'd leant pass him in order to push the button for their floor. Dropping down on the sofa, it was only a few seconds later that Eren reemerged with a bundle of clothes in his arms, before disappearing into the bathroom. His boyfriend had already showered that morning, and he wasn't sure that an upset Eren should be left unsupervised. He hadn't scratched, for that Levi was proud. Actually, he was pretty proud of the fact Eren had managed to keep his head right up until he started purring, and even then, he hadn't screamed. He'd raised his voice, but he hadn't yelled, or broken down sobbing. He'd answered all of Floch's lead up questions to the best of his ability, though Levi didn't actually learn anything new. It hurt not to know. Even Floch and Pixis seemed to know more about Eren's mistreatment than he did. Like how Eren was in hospital after the abuse. He'd assumed it wasn't long. That Zeke had been tracked down almost immediately. Not weeks later... when was it his chance to learn everything? For Eren to tell him what happened in his own words. He fucking hated Zeke for this, and he fucking hated whoever left the phone. They'd wanted Eren to know. They'd wanted him to know that Zeke didn't give two shits about him. If they didn't know, they wouldn't have to deal with the fallout, or the trauma. Eren could think that Zeke loved him, as cherish those memories... even if the alpha had been abusing him. Running his fingers through his hair, Levi let out a shaky breath, before remembering he'd promised Eren "treats" for his bravery.

Eren was still in the bathroom, even though Levi had gotten up, retrieved his laptop, logged in and then logged into his online shopping account, over ordered on bribery and snacks, as well as ordering a bottle of bourbon for the pair of them to share, paid, closed his laptop and disregarded it on the coffee table. He knew he couldn't have taken that long, and if Eren was having a bath, he would have only just gotten into it. He felt like he needed some kind of excuse to knock on the door and check that Eren was alright, until he remember he had the best reason of all. He loved him.

Knocking lightly, Levi let himself in. Eren was in the bathtub, huddled in a purring ball. Walking over, his knees protested as he squatted down beside the side  
"Eren?"  
"Can... can you leave me alone?"  
"Are you sure that's what you want?"  
"I need to think"  
"Alright. I'm going to be in the kitchen, it needs a clean. If you need me, I want you to call for me"  
"Levi... I loved him..."  
"I know you did"  
"Do you think he loved me?"  
Levi couldn't give him the answers he wanted. That was for Eren to figure out on his own... in a way, he did think that Zeke had in some small way loved Eren, because after what would have been 4 years together, $90,000 wasn't really all that much... and Zeke could have easily killed Eren earlier for the money, or sold him off at the first chance he had...  
"I think so. In his own way"  
Eren nodded, he didn't sound convinced as he murmured  
"Ok..."  
"Don't forget. I'll be right there in kitchen if you need me"

The kitchen was already clean, Levi just felt like he had to be doing something... anything. He just had to be moving. Rubbing at the non-existent spec of dirt, a scream and splash came from the bathroom, followed by the sound of sloshing water. Dropping the cloth, Levi rushed to the bathroom. The whole floor was drenched, Eren standing in the tub with Titan in his hands   
"What the fuck happened?"  
"Titan fell in the tub... he went to stand on the edge and lost his balance. He also found his claws in the way in"  
Titan was generally alright with water, provided it wasn't too deep. Not like the bath Eren had been having. Grabbing the closest towel off the rack, Levi stood on his tip toes as he stretched his steps out to meet the bathtub. In a failed attempt to prevent his shoes and the hem of pants from getting wet. Lifting Titan from Eren, the fat call yowled his upset  
"You do know you're supposed to be a cat... you don't usually get close when the baths full"  
Titan glared at him, trying to struggle his way free   
"Are you ok?"  
"Yeah. I just wasn't expecting to become a human scratching post"  
Scratches were on Eren's chest and arms, Titan having fought the bubbly bath of despair. They didn't look too deep, but still needed wiping over   
"Let me towel him dry, then I'll rub some cream on those scratches"  
"It's ok... I wasn't done with my bath"  
"Oh, ok. I'll just leave you too it"

Eren came wandering out the bathroom half an hour later. Titan was sitting on the recliner, still glaring at the world. Lifting him up, Eren cuddling the annoyed feline, as he dropped into the recliner with a sigh. At least the purring had stopped... he supposed that was something  
"You're staring"  
"Am I?"  
"You are. Whatever it is, just say it"  
"I was just wondering what you're thinking?"  
"I don't know what I'm thinking"  
"Is there anything I can do?"  
"No... not really. Not unless you can explain this all to me... because from where I'm sitting, it sounds like Zeke was planning on selling me and taking everything I had before he did"  
How could Eren's voice be so calm? His brother had betrayed him. He'd expected Eren to be a sobbing wreck, not posing the question so openly  
"Maybe something else was going on?"  
Eren gave a dry laugh   
"Yeah. Like that Zeke never wanted me begin with"  
"Eren..."  
"No. I mean. Who just sells their brother to clear their debts? Do you think that's why he had me dance? To make money for the people he fucking owed? Nothing was ever for my sake was it? Not leaving me at the hospital. Not leaving me with Hanji and Moblit and not taking me back in. He couldn't have fucking cared less, if not for the money"  
"Eren..."  
"No! Ok. No. I loved him... but he never loved me... I'm done. I'm so past done... there's obviously something fucking wrong with me. Dad and Zeke knew it... so did the people who locked me up... I'm just... nothing"  
Eren shrugged with Levi swallowed down a growl. Climbing to his feet, he moved to lift Titan up from Eren's lap, setting him down on the floor and pulling an Eren as he dropped down into the omega's lap  
"Don't go there, because that is a load of fucking shit"  
"Is it though? Dad didn't want me because I'm a male omega. Zeke... didn't want me either, trying to sell me off... because I'm a male omega. I'm what's wrong"  
"If you're what's wrong. What does that mean for me? Does that make me wrong? For loving you?"  
"No... you're... you're just..."  
"I'm just what?"  
"You're just too kind"  
"So what? You think I'm with you out of pity?"  
"No! No... Maybe... I don't know any more"  
"Eren. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. I have never felt the way I do about you, with anyone else before. You're my omega. I love you"  
"But... if there isn't anything wrong with me... why didn't they want me?"  
"Because they're fucking idiots"  
"But..."  
"No. No fucking "buts". Who are do you want to believe. Me. Your father, or Zeke?"  
"You..."  
"Then you have nothing to worry about. I'm not going to leave you or give you up. Nor am I going to let you go"  
"But..."  
Flicking Eren lightly in the middle of his forehead, his boyfriend frowned   
"Oi. Didn't I just say, no more "buts"?"  
"Levi... what happens now?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"I didn't tell, but the police know things... what if they think I told?"  
"You didn't know anything"  
"They don't know that! These men are scary... and if they think I broken my end of the deal... then they'll come after us..."  
"Then tell me who they are. Let me protect you..."  
"I can't... I can't lose you... I would rather die than lose you"  
"I won't let that happen. I refuse to let that happen. Eren, I don't want you to carry this burden alone. You're my omega. My partner and equal... you're not alone in any of this"  
Eren took his hand, his eyes full of sadness  
"Levi... I can't. You know I can't... Please. Please just... just don't ask"  
"The police will find out"  
"Then they can deal with it..."  
"I want to help you"  
"I know you do..."  
Resting his forehead against Levi's cheek, Eren felt warm. Possibly a fever from exhaustion?  
"But you can't tell what you don't know... and that's safer. I won't let them take you from me. No matter what"

He nearly pointed out the obvious truth, that these people didn't keep their deals. Eren's scent had taken on an angry hue, so it was probably best to stop before he finally snapped  
"I'm not going anywhere. You on the other hand, feel warm. I think you should take a nap, before we stay up late watching movies"  
"I'd forgotten all about that"  
"Well I haven't. I managed to snag an order drop off between 5 and 6"  
"You actually... you know what. I shouldn't be surprised"  
"No, you shouldn't. So now, its nap time"  
Eren shuffled forward on the recliner, Levi making to climb off his lap until his boyfriend lifted him as he stood. Grabbing Eren's shirt, he snorted as his boyfriend began to walk towards their room   
"Really? You're going to carry me?"  
"Why not? You always carry me, and you're like, the perfect height for carrying around?"  
"Did you just say I was short?"  
"I just said you were perfect... yet you're caught up on the height thing?"  
"Oh. By all means. Carry this cranky, short alpha to bed then. I won't stop you"  
"Don't make me drop you"  
Levi gave a slight scowl, he wasn't used to being carried, but it was kind of nice   
"You wouldn't"  
"Nope. But if I have to nap, I want you there... just... in case... you know..."  
"Nightmares?"  
"Yeah..."

 

*  
Eren was kind of sad when Levi's cast came off. It meant an end to the six weeks of having his lover home. Sure. There was next week, but the week after that he'd be back at work where Eren couldn't keep an eye on him. Levi was so fucking good to him and for him. He'd lost all his confidence after Zeke's murder. He'd just wanted to die then and there. But working with Levi, he felt like he was getting better again. He wasn't sure though. Levi just kept saying he was brave, to the point where he didn't know if his boyfriend was just saying that because he couldn't think of anything else to say. Then again, he'd thought that Zeke had been too... and now he knew his brother had been planning on marrying him off, he found it hard to trust Levi's love for him. Everyday he waited for Levi to say he'd changed his mind. 

Levi had made him a doctor's appointment, like he said he would, and Eren was hoping that they'd be able to put him on new medication to help with his omega, and his paranoia. Instead, he was taken off his medication, other than the multivitamins, and given a form for a blood test in a months time. Because that didn't make him nervous. He felt sick enough over everything before walking into the appointment, and even sicker walking out. He needed his meds... for Levi's sake. If Reiner and Bertholdt wanted the favour he owed them to be the money to cover Zeke's debts, he had a month of freedom to enjoy... and while he'd give every cent he had to keep Levi safe, Levi wouldn't let him "waste" his money like that. So he kept his mouth closed, after all, it wasn't like he wasn't already hiding way more than he should be from his alpha... there were no where near enough hours in the day to process his thoughts. He'd been good. He hadn't wanted the police involved, because he knew if they thought he had talked, they might come after him sooner, or they'd pick off the people dearest to him, one by one. Levi had raised the point that if they thought Eren was being investigated by the police, they might avoid him for the time being. He wished it worked that way. He knew his alpha was trying not let his worry show... still, Eren couldn't help but feel Erwin was to blame. He hated bringing those feelings into their relationship. Levi wasn't talking to Erwin, and he was the reason for it. Yes. Erwin had fucked up. He never should have handed Zeke's phone over to the police, and while he'd fucked with his life, Levi was also suffering for it all.

Eren's mind had been in a haze. Before he knew it, the week rolled over into the next. With it being their last week before Levi went back to work, they spent their time being domestic. Cooking together. Working on his hand writing together. They'd taken two showers together, neither sexual. He'd been struggling with his own body image again, after finding a pair of jeans from when he first moved in with Hanji and finding them tight around his thighs. He felt fat and depressed, unable to get into any kind of mood, even with his gorgeous boyfriend standing in front of him. He was grateful Levi wasn't an alpha that demanded constant sex, because he'd definitely be disappointed in him. When their last day before his lover's return to work came round, Levi finally took him on the date he'd promised. They'd gone to a super fancy restaurant, where Levi had had to order for him. The whole menu was written in all sorts of words that didn't even sound English, yet they rolled off Levi's tongue with ease. So as not to feel like such an idiot, if they ever went on another date, he silently memorised the name of the restaurant, hoping to look the name up when they got around to getting his phone back from Hanji. She had a new phone set up, but with Moblit's parents still there, it was hard to find a time to visit. Hanji wanted them to visit, but Moblit's mother wouldn't hear of it. So, for now, they hadn't been. They could leave at the end of the day... Hanji and Anna couldn't. Well, they could, but that would only lead to trouble and Eren didn't want that. After dinner, Levi had taken him to see a movie, holding his hand the whole time as they sat in the back of the cinema. It'd been nice. Nothing too stressful, and nothing that involved great big groups of people. He couldn't say his anxieties hadn't played up, but thanks to Levi, he'd been able to push them down and enjoy being normal. After the movie, they'd gone home and crawled into bed together. If this was domestic bliss, he definitely wanted more of it.

 

*  
Returning to work hadn't been fun. The first day Levi had dragged his feet as long as possible, leaving at the very last second. Despite having had such a good night with Eren, Eren had woken up in the middle of the night with a screaming nightmare. His boyfriend so scared that he couldn't even stand having him touch him. Falling back to sleep without Eren's warmth against him had been hard, especially when his own mindscape decided he needed to relive Isabel and Farlan dying, with Eren thrown into the mix. His boyfriend had gotten out of their bed in order to calm down, and hadn't made his way back. Walking out of their room, he'd found Eren sleeping on the sofa. Curled up in a ball that didn't look comfortable at all, his brat had to be cold. Waking him, he was careful not to spook him, incase his nerves were still jumpy. Eren had barely been able to look at him, before apologising over his nightmare, then retreating to his bedroom. So not only did he miss out on holding Eren, he missed out on having breakfast with him. His mood was rock bottom before he even got out the apartment.

Arriving at work, Erwin immediately tried to strike up conversation. Having avoided him for two-ish weeks, his friend irked him. He didn't want fucking apologies. He wanted a fucking time machine... and to forget about this nightmare. Eren was keeping things from him. He was having fucking nightmares and his doctor had taken him off his medication. He knew it sometimes took a few different tries to find the right medication that worked, but Eren's doctor wanted him to wait a month and let his systems start to even out on their own before deciding what the next move was. That was how Eren explained it, but it didn't make sense. It usually took a minimum of six weeks for symptoms and side effects to clear, though he knew that wasn't with everything. Eren had just easily accepted everything, like he always did. Maybe it was time to find another doctor, like he'd done with Eren's therapist... he didn't know anymore. He knew his love was stressing over the "broken deal". So a little help in the de-stressing department would have been welcomed.

As it turned out, Levi's first day back decided to throw everything at him. First was the car that had gone through the front of a house. Second was an assault where the victim had been beaten and left for dead in the street. Third was an overdose slash suicide attempt. And forth was a fucking shooting. A car jacking gone wrong. By the end of it all, he'd forgotten he wasn't talking to Erwin.

That night he'd come home to find Eren had made dinner. His omega was still off, but at least this was something, and even better was when he climbed into bed with him. Letting Levi lay his head on Eren's chest, Eren had encouraged him to tell him everything about his day, which he did. His omega playing with his hair and lazily drawing circles with his thumb on Levi's hip. He had no idea how he dealt with shit days before Eren came along.

The following day was just as shit... as was the rest of the week. Thankfully not everything was cars crashing into buildings, or car jackings gone wrong. It was just all the little things that added up. By the time his first day off rolled off, Levi was considering a career change. He knew he'd never change jobs, but fuck, he was sick of dealing with stupid things. They'd been called out to a child choking on the lid of a milk bottle. He didn't even know how the 12 month old had gotten hold of it... only that the child had while its parents were high. That was no kind of life for a kid. Not when their parents prioritised drugs over their own child. It also sucked because now that Child Services were involved, the kid could very well end up caught in the middle of their parents madness. If they wanted to keep their child, they'd have to rehab, and attending meetings. There would be compulsory drug tests. All of which the parents would blame the kid for. 

Coming home from his shift, Eren was reading one of his books. Some cheap pulp story he'd picked up along the way. Placing his book down, his lover had given him brilliant smile   
"I heard we're going out tonight?"  
Levi nodded. He hadn't wanted to go for drinks. Yet Erwin had insisted on it, and if Eren knew, that meant that he'd talked to Erwin. Hopefully that meant they'd talked things out and he'd no longer be stuck between the pair of them  
"Yeah. How'd you find out?"  
"Erwin?"  
"Right. Fuck. Let me take a shower"  
He'd forgotten Erwin had gotten Eren's phone back from Hanji... his mind had been on how shit his week had been since leaving the depot. Trudging through to the bathroom, he wondered if he could just stay in the shower. No... fuck... Eren had given him that smile. He couldn't break the kid's heart just because he was old and tired.

Dressing in black, Levi knew he looked good. He'd chosen jeans that hugged his arse and a shirt that seemed almost made for his thin frame. Eren was dressed similarly, yet next to him, Levi swore he faded into the background. He'd nearly told Eren to go change, because the omega looked sinful. Eren always liked to look good whenever they left the apartment, and tonight was no different. He half hoped the alcohol would loosen Eren up, and that he'd get laid. He'd never felt the need to breed quite so much as he did with his brat, and after the week he had, he could definitely do with blowing off steam. Not that he was dating Eren for sex... his mind was just in the gutter thanks to Eren's arse. Leading Eren into the bar, his lover stopped dead in his tracks, the smell of fear starting to ruin his sweet smell. It was the first time Eren was seeing Erwin since Moblit's wake, so it was natural Eren would feel some discomfort   
"Hey, it's ok"  
Eren took half a step back, moving to hide behind him. Sitting at the bar, Erwin was already drinking with two of their coworkers. Actually, it was one of their coworkers and his mate  
"They're bonded. They're not going to make a move"  
"Y-you know them?"  
Levi nodded, a reassuring smile on his lips   
"Yeah. The tall one with dark hair is Marcel Galliard, and the one with the blonde hair is Moses Braun"  
When Marcel had started, no one had thought he'd last. His shy personality had slowly ebbed away over the past few months of working closely with Erwin  
"They're an alpha couple, but like I said, they're mates. Bonded to each other"  
"And... you work with them?"  
"Marcel started... the end of November I think it was. I've met Moses a few times, when he's picked Marcel up from work"  
Eren's breathing was starting to get shaky   
"Hey. I promise it's ok. We'll have a few drinks, then they'll probably leave. If you're worried about Erwin, you don't need to be. He knows exactly how I feel about how everything went down"  
"S-sorry. I don't feel very good"  
Pulling Eren into a hug, he rubbed his back   
"I know you're stressing, but it'll all be ok"

Joining Erwin, Marcel and Moses, Eren kept hidden behind him. Making the introductions, Erwin ordered them all a round and some snacks, before the five of them found a table. Eren's nerves had gotten even worse, though Erwin hadn't mentioned anything, or even said anything other than "hello" to the omega. Sitting him in the booth so he was in the corner with the wall on one side, and Levi on the other, his lover was still tense. Erwin had mentioned inviting a couple of friends for a drink, but maybe Eld and Gunther would have been easier for Eren to handle. As it was, he really didn't know all that much about Marcel. Taking Eren's hand under the table, his boyfriend gripped it tightly as they started talking about how busy work had been.

Eren's first drink disappeared the moment it hit the table. He knew Eren could drink like a fish, but the idea of social drinking was not to. When Levi made the mistake of leaving his drink too long, he found Eren had drained that too. Maybe he'd been wrong about this being simple nerves? Offering to pay for the next round, he dragged Eren up to the bar with him  
"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"You're drinking like alcohol's going out of fashion. What's wrong?"  
Eren's cheeks reddened  
"I... uh... I'm sorry"  
"Is it Marcel and Moses?"  
"They remind me of people I used to know"  
"Good or bad people?"  
"Just people from the club. I'm sorry. I need to use the bathroom"  
"Ok. Eren, it's ok. I'm not mad at you. I just want you to have a good time"  
Eren gave a stiff nod before striding away, almost fleeing towards the bathroom.

 

*  
Throwing himself into the first cubicle, Eren threw up his dinner and the two drinks he'd just had. He'd never believed that Bertholdt and Reiner would do something like this. Would lie about their origins and get close to his boyfriend like this. He had no idea where the names Marcel and Moses came from. He was sure the police conducted thorough background checks... they would have to... so how... how did they manage to get Bertholdt into the same squad? of paramedics as Erwin and Levi!? The moment he'd set eyes on them, he knew he was fucked. He'd wanted to fucking bolt. Or scream. Or fly into a rage and kill both alphas where they stood. Both of them had frequent access to his boyfriend. At any time, they could kill Levi and he'd be left at home, waiting for his alpha while his alpha laid dead... vomiting again, he gripped his stomach. His whole body tensing painfully as it tried to throw up more than what was in there. When Levi had left, he'd gone back to sleep. He hadn't eaten anything other than dinner, and now he was regretting it. Tears filled his eyes, as he slumped back from the toilet. They knew. They had to know... that he'd spoken to the police. That's why they were here... to rub it in. 

As the bathroom door squeaked open again, Eren nearly screamed. Covering his mouth with his hands, he was easy enough to find. In his haste, he hadn't closed the cubicle door. Smiling as he pushed it open, Bertholdt stared down at him. Eren nearly wetting his pants in fear. He had no where to run. No where to hide  
"Good evening, Eren. It's nice to see you again"  
Forcing his hand from his mouth, Eren tried to appear less afraid, though nothing about his expression or body language changed   
"I hear you had a little talk with the police. I hope you kept your mouth shut"  
"I... I didn't tell"  
"Really? Then why did they call you in? Think carefully before you answer"  
"They... they wanted to know more about when I lived with Zeke. His case was passed on"  
"And the phone"  
Eren opened his mouth, before closing it again. Bertholdt wouldn't have mentioned it if he didn't know about it already  
"I didn't tell them. I didn't. Erwin found it and thought it was someone's lost phone that Levi found. He handed it in"  
"And you said nothing?"  
"No. I swear. I swear I didn't say anything"  
"You see Eren, I don't know if I believe you"  
"Please! I really didn't! If Levi knew, or the police knew, don't you think they would have done something?!"  
He sounded as hysterical as he felt  
"I don't know... We both know how you like to lie... maybe I should loosen that tongue of yours"  
"You can't. Levi will know. Levi will smell it you"  
Bertholdt laughed a cold laugh   
"There you are, cowering before me and you still run that smart mouth of yours. I wonder what Levi would think if he knew everything about our little deal"  
Eren shuddered, vomiting into his mouth. Levi knew, but Bertholdt didn't know he did  
"You leave him alone. He hasn't done a single thing to you! If this is about the money... you can have it. All of it. Please... just leave us alone"  
"Eren, you know we can't do that. One day you will talk, and we will be waiting. I didn't even want to give you that phone, but Reiner insisted. Insisted that knowing what Zeke was plotting might loosen that tongue of yours. Watching you struggle, it makes me want to break you completely"  
"What the fuck do you want from me?! I didn't tell! I didn't tell them you stabbed Zeke to death! I didn't tell them you fucked me and left me for dead! I didn't tell them anything! You said. You said if I did what you wanted you would spare Zeke, then you killed him! And I still didn't tell!"  
Yelling at Bertholdt, Bertholdt just smiled   
"You still owe us that favour. We'll make sure to put that to good use. After that, who knows. Maybe we'll kill you, maybe we won't. Don't worry, if we do, we'll take good care of Levi once you're gone. I think we may even have more fun with him, than we did with Zeke"  
Terror froze his body. His mind was racing as his body betrayed him. Warm wetness flooded his jeans. He wanted to hit Bertholdt so fucking much, that he was baring his teeth as he pissed himself with fear. Laughing openly, Bertholdt casually closed the stall door  
"I'll be sure to let Levi know you had a little accident..."

As reality returned around him. Eren snarled, striking the wall behind him. He hadn't fucking said a word, yet Bertholdt had just told him he had no plans to honour his deal. No matter what he did, they were fucked. He couldn't tell. That would only make them go after Levi faster. But once that favour was cashed in... then... striking the wall again, he kept going and going until Levi finally found him. Pulling him up from the floor, he snarled at his alpha. Unable to pull his rage back in, despite Levi trying to calm him. He wanted them dead. He wanted Reiner, and Bertholdt dead, and he'd do it by his fucking self if he had to.


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya'all getting this at 1:15am from your very sleep writer. Like 10 minutes after tumblr. As always, thank you for reading and your comments give me life. Please feel free to yell my mistakes at me.
> 
> Now. I know you might be disappointed, but I'm still trying to set the scene... I want to do this right... though I guess you all just want me to reveal the whole of Eren's life, and have Levi kiss him better... baby steps people. Baby steps.

Eren was an omega possessed. His boyfriend was moving, almost constantly. He was up before Levi. He had to be dragged to bed by Levi. Even though being home alone for 12 hours at a time didn't seem to be enough time for whatever Eren was to up. He wasn't allowed to know. He also wasn't allowed in Eren's room, or to touch his boyfriend's phone. He'd made that mistake when heading to bed. He'd picked it up to chuck it on charge, only for Eren to scold him gently and take it back. He had no idea what this latest mood swing was about, but he was done with it. He had his first day off in two weeks, and he was getting to the bottom of what was going on.

Waking up with Eren's face inches from his, his boyfriend let out a sigh   
"Thank fuck. I've been waiting for you to wake up all morning"  
Reaching out, Levi pulled Eren up against him  
"Why didn't you just wake me up?"  
"Because, I have a surprise for you. Actually. I have like two... And I know I'm been a moody arsehole, buuuut I promise it's worth it"  
"But am I going to like them?"  
"One... I'm not too sure about... and the second one... I'm not too sure about, either. Maybe you should just stay in bed... we can have sex instead?"  
"Did you just try to bribe me with sex?"  
"My mouth is doing that thing where I can't shut up, because I'm so fucking nervous"  
Levi's heart skipped a beat  
"Shit brat. You're fucking adorable"  
"I thought you were mad? I mean... I know I've been like busy, and I know the most time we spent together was when you too me to my first dance lesson then shopping... but I really had to get this right"  
Levi blindly kissed Eren's face, his omega practically squished against him  
"Alright. Let me take a shower, then I'll come see whatever it is you want me to see"  
"Um... can you come to my room first? I think you're going to need the shower after..."  
Eren usually knew better than to complain about his morning shower. It's taken a while for Eren to get used to the fact he liked to shower in the morning, evening and after sex. Releasing his hold on Eren, Levi made a great show of getting out of bed, Eren scrambling past him, so he could pull him to his feet  
"Slow down brat. I'm old"  
"You're not old..."  
"I'm older than you"  
"Fine, but can you hurry up. Before I lose my nerve"

Dragged into Eren's room, it was unexpectedly neat. For all he'd been up to, Levi had expected it to be a disaster zone. Sitting him on the edge of the bed, Eren took a deep breath  
"You can't tell anyone about this. Not yet. Promise?"  
"Eren"  
"Levi, you have to promise"  
His omega's firm tone had him frowning. Gone was the happy Eren from his bed  
"Alright. I promise. Now what did you want to show me"  
Pulling out both drawers of his bedside table, Eren pulled out a thick pile of papers, which he set aside and a black plastic bag. Taking a few deep breaths, his boyfriend nodded to himself   
"Ok... ok... I need to tell you something..."  
"Am I going to like it?"  
"Probably not, but I don't have a choice anymore. And I will not let them hurt you. Not as long as I'm alive"  
Eren took his sweet time opening the bag, so long that Levi was tempted to rip it from his hands. The first thing he removed was a white shirt  
"I lied to you. I didn't find the phone outside the door... I found it in my wardrobe. It was that day... just, not outside. I went to clean my room a bit, and I found this shirt. It's Zeke's shirt. It was sitting under my clothes in my wardrobe and on top of this bag. The phone was in the bag, with this..."  
Pulling out a bloodied knife, Levi's eyes widened at the sight   
"Is that..."  
"This is the knife they used to stab Zeke to death"  
Levi felt sick just looking at it... and angry Eren hadn't told him any of those sooner. The shirt was on top. The phone was in the bag with the knife. I'm telling you this because I saw the man who killed Zeke. I saw him and he promised he was going to come for you, once they're done with me"  
Eren placed the shirt and knife back in the bag, wrapping it around itself and hiding it back in the bottom of the drawers. Levi struggling with knowing his omega had had a run in with Zeke's killer... something else he didn't see fit to tell him. Was he just not needed? How much more did he need to give Eren? He'd given him everything he had and everything he could...  
"Why didn't you tell me?"  
"Because I thought... you know what... now that I think about it, I guess I thought that maybe their word meant something. This..."  
Eren picked up the pile of paper  
"This is everything that I remember about that day and stuff. It took me ages because... well, even if you've been teaching me, I still can't read or write properly. I swore to him that I haven't said anything to the police. Nor to you. But this... this is too much. It's not just me caught up in this. You can't tell anyone it's here. Ok. I don't trust anyone other than you"  
"You..."  
"Levi. I know you're mad, but I had to make sure this was in order. Because I have something else I have to show you"

Levi didn't think he could take much more. He'd told Eren this was a safe place. He thought this was a safe place... and they'd been in here. He felt violated. His alpha wanted to fucking break something. Eren should have fucking told him the moment he realised someone else had been in their apartment. He was getting two new fucking locks and a bolt for the door. Hiding everything away, Eren then walked over to where his backpack was hanging  
"This... I wanted to show you this... sooner. I thought I'd wait until the results came back, but... this is too important not to..."  
What the fuck else could Eren possibly have to drop on him? Pulling out a slip of paper, his boyfriend brought it over to him and pushed it into his hands. It seemed like a normal blood test. Iron levels. Hormone levels. Blood sugar levels. His eyes scanned the abbreviations... until he finally hit the line explaining the reason for the test in the first place "confirmation of pregnancy". Eren couldn't be fucking pregnant. They used condoms. He'd had a fucking heat... he was supposed to be having this fucking blood test next week... he'd already fucking planned it out. He was taking Eren for this test and then to see Hanji. In the space of the last 20 minutes he'd found out that his apartment had been broken into. Eren was hiding Zeke's murder weapon in his bedside drawers. Eren had been in contact with Zeke's killer and oh, his omega was fucking possibly pregnant. Urine tests were the go to. Correct 97% of the fucking time  
"Levi?"  
"You're... pregnant?"  
"Possibly... the doctor asked if we'd been having sex and made me take a test..."  
"And you didn't tell me?"  
"I didn't want to get your hopes up..."  
"Eren, what am I to you?"  
"My boyfriend"  
"And you did this from me. Didn't you think I might want to fucking know something like this"  
"Levi..."  
"No! You don't get to stand there and hide shit like this from me. I fucking love you. I was planning a life with you. Not only were you hiding the fucking knife, you've been hiding this too. I'm your alpha! And you... didn't you think I'd want this"  
"I wanted to be sure! Ok. I didn't want to tell you I was, only for me to not be. I saw what Hanji and Moblit went through. I couldn't do that to you"  
"We are supposed to be a team..."  
Eren stared down at him, his big doe eyes filled with tears as he clenched his hands into fists  
"I wanted to protect you. She said my antidepressants can cause false positives..."  
Yeah. Like fucking Xanax and Valium... this was all too fucking much  
"I don't need to be protected"  
Rising from Eren's bed, he ran his hand through his hair as he let out a shaky breath. Nervously, Eren reached for his arm, two fingers touching Levi's wrist before he jerked his arm away   
"Le-Levi..."  
"Don't. Ok. Just. I need to process this"

This was way too fucking much. He hadn't even had his morning cup of tea. His brain forced to start working before there was enough tea in his bloodstream to get things lubricated. He didn't like leaving Eren crying. But he need to fucking think. Eren couldn't be pregnant. He'd know if his lover was... his scent would change... he wouldn't go into heats... but Eren's heat hardly followed the rules of conventional heats. Pregnant. What the fuck was he going to do? He'd... Eren wasn't fucking safe. Their apartment wasn't safe... Eren couldn't be here. Alone. Alone and pregnant. They'd only been dating a few months. He wanted pups, but now this was right in front of him... he was fucking terrified. Trapped in his own head, he didn't notice the fact that his cup was overflowing onto the kitchen floor. What the fuck was he supposed to do? He'd just walked on his pregnant omega... he was going to mark him. He was going to make Eren his mate... but now, wouldn't it just seem like he was going through the motions? Marking and bonding with Eren for the sake of their pup... he didn't want that. He wanted to mark and bond with Eren because he loved him. Yelping as the hot water hit his bare toes, he was forced back to reality... with no idea what the fuck he was supposed to do.

Choking down his tea and breakfast, and filling his eyes with soap while trying to take a shower, Levi couldn't get the thought of Eren being pregnant from his mind. He just couldn't understand how this had happened. Eren wasn't showing signs of morning sickness, but not everyone did. Not that he'd be able to tell if Eren did. He was always sick, or in heat or he had a fever, he didn't feel well... fuck. Fuck. No. Eren had been through a lot... a lot he'd decided to fucking hide from him. Still. Eren was telling him now. His boyfriend had kept everything to himself until he realised it wasn't working. No. Until he'd been threatened. Apparently they were going to come after him. He'd like to see them fucking try. If Eren was pregnant, right now, he was being the worst alpha ever. His omega would be scared... scared he wasn't after what Hanji had gone through, and just as scared that he was. He needed to figure this out with Eren, which he couldn't do hiding in the bathroom, rubbing at his eyes and getting more soap in them as he did.

Drying and dressing casually, Levi let himself back into Eren's room. Coming a full circle from where he'd fled. Eren was sitting on his bed, his knees to his chest while he patted Titan who laid at his feet   
"Eren... I guess we should talk?"  
Eren shook his head  
"We don't have to... I shouldn't have told you"  
"It was a lot, ok. So we should talk about it"  
"Why? You don't want to have a baby with me..."  
"It's not that. Look. You had to know it was a lot"  
"I told you I might be pregnant, and you walked out..."  
"Because I don't fucking understand how it happened. It doesn't mean I don't want to have a kid with you"  
"Well, kids happen when you fuck"  
This wasn't going the way he'd thought it would. He was saying all the wrong things   
"That's not what I meant. Look, can I sit?"  
Sitting on Eren's bed, Levi placed his hand on Eren's knee  
"I guess what I want to know is how you feel about this"  
"About possibly being pregnant?"  
"Yeah"  
"Honestly. I'm fucking terrified. If I am, then... then I could lose something... someone else"  
"Do you want children?"  
"Yes... I didn't know I did until you came along and showed me that not everyone would hurt me. But I'm scared. What if I get the results back and I'm not? What if it is because of my medication? I didn't want you to get attached to someone who... who might not even exist"  
Eren's voice cracked with emotion  
"I want to have a baby... with you"  
Shuffling closer, Levi wrapped his arm around Eren's shoulder. Nuzzling into Eren's hair, his boyfriend collapsed into him  
"I wish you'd told me sooner. You've got to stop hiding things from me"  
Eren sniffled   
"I'm sick of being a burden. I'm sick of hurting you all the time. I just... I want to keep you safe..."  
"I never said you were a burden"  
"I am! You have killers after you, because of me. You might be a father, because of me..."  
"I don't know. Having kids with you... I wouldn't mind that at all. In fact, I think they'd be pretty cute. I just don't want you think that if we bond, it's because of that, and not because I want to be with you"  
"But what if I'm not? Won't you be mad?"  
"Sad, maybe. But not mad. We used protection, so it would make more sense if you're not... shit. You probably aren't, your doctor wouldn't have mentioned the fact the medication could cause a false result if they believed you were..."  
Eren gave a soft whine, Levi really wasn't making this any better for him  
"What I'm trying to say that it won't change how I feel about you"  
"Did I tell you before, I was 8 when I presented? My omega was fucking jealous over Marco and Hanji. I hated it. I hated feeling that way... Marco's probably pregnant again anyway... it just... no. I just... When is it going to be my turn? It'll be thirteen years this year. 13... I've had heats longer than I lived without them... and I still fucking hate them"  
"I'm sorry I left you, for those few days"  
Eren wiped at his face with his left hand  
"I don't know how I would handle having you here for a heat. I want you there. I do. I don't think I'm ready though"  
"It's ok. The most important thing in your heats, is that you're feeling safe and comfortable enough to do what you need to do"  
"I don't though... I don't know how to be a proper omega... I know we've had sex, but heats... it still feels so wrong to touch myself or to use toys. I don't think I'm a very good omega"  
"Does sex feel wrong?"  
"N-not with you... but when I'm alone..."  
Eren's sentence trailed off with a sad sigh  
"Alright. For now, why don't you try and go back to sleep for a bit? You've been pushing yourself nonstop, and smell exhausted"  
Eren smelt more sad than tired... but Levi needed to figure out what to do next and he couldn't do that without needing space. If he could get Eren to take a nap, he wouldn't feel so fucking guilty about not wanting to talk to him, or snobbing his potential pregnant boyfriend   
"I... yeah. Ok. Can Titan stay?"  
"Sure. He really loves you"  
"He's your cat"  
"Our cat"  
"He's so soft. I don't think I'll ever get used to having him. All this. Being here still feels like some dream I'm going to wake up from and find myself on the kitchen floor with Zeke again"  
Levi mentally sighed. He'd wanted to at least be out of the room before letting his thoughts move to Zeke...  
"Well, you two get some rest"

Leaving Eren, Levi retrieved his laptop. Logging in, he opened up a word document and stared down at the blinking cursor. He needed to make sense of everything and that meant building some kind of timeline for everything happening, including Eren's pregnancy. He'd always liked to operate with some kind of firm plan in mind, even when it came to something as simple as shopping. Get in. Get what was needed and get the fuck out. When he had errands to run, he was always on fucking time. Even when it meant half shoving Eren into car. This Zeke murder weapon shit... that wasn't in any fucking plan he had. If he was honest, there was still a tiny voice in the back of his head telling him Eren was overreacting to everything and that the police would catch whoever killed Zeke, if Eren would just be patient and stop making up worst case scenarios. Now. Well. Fuck.

 

After two awkward days, Levi knew what he had to do. Eren knew he wasn't happy about everything, so his boyfriend had been avoiding touching him outside of sleeping next to him. He'd caught the omega touching and rubbing his flat stomach, whenever he didn't realise Levi was watching... which was all the time. If Eren was pregnant, he refused to let the omega threaten the family they might be building. They were in over their heads. The new locks on the door would only provide so much protection... and that was only when they were home... they couldn't stay home all the time... and even if they were safe at home, that didn't mean Erwin was. Or Hanji and Anna. For everyone's sake, he had to sack up.

Levi was well aware he was betraying Eren's trust. His boyfriend had still been sleeping when he left him... Soooo, he may have slightly stolen Eren's confession over that night and the bag from the omega's bedside table. He didn't have time to stop and give a full statement on the way to work. Instead, he'd swung round the precinct and asked to see Floch. Floch, for once in his life, wasn't wearing that obnoxious smile. The man looked exhausted and Levi was secretly happy he was. After Eren's interview, he wasn't particularly fond of the man. Passing over everything, his gut clenched with guilt. He barely managed to tell Floch to "do what he needed to do, but to keep Eren the fuck out of it" and that "he hadn't read Eren's statement". Floch didn't seem to understand, leaving him hoping that all the answers were in Eren's statement... and he wasn't just handing over something that made no sense. He'd fucking wanted to look... but as he was betraying Eren by handing everything in, he'd bribed himself with the fact Eren wouldn't be too mad if he didn't read the details of what exactly had went down. He pretty much knew what he had to. Eren was raped, lied to, made a deal they had no intention to keep then left for dead... Yeah. Like fuck he was trusting any "deal". He wasn't as stupid to believe his own lies. Eren would be fucking furious. He'd be lucky if his boyfriend didn't walk out on him. He'd made him a promise, and he was breaking it. Like every other alpha Eren had ever loved...

 

*  
Eren was sure his relationship with Levi would soon be over. The alpha always looked so mad, and when they went to bed, he'd always fall asleep while Levi stayed up reading. He'd fucked up. He knew he shouldn't have told Levi about the blood tests. The alpha was just saying he wanted kids, to appease him... Levi was always telling him what he wanted to hear. He was always doing everything for him, so much so that it was frustrating... All Eren had wanted was to protect Levi. To protect the man who treated him like he was some precious treasure... and now he was sure Levi was going to kick him out...

Waking up to find Levi had already left for work, it was all a bit too much for his emotions. He'd ruined his relationship, and now he didn't know what to do. Crawling across Levi's bed, he grabbed his phone, finding no messages from his boyfriend, who'd been at work for the better part of three hours now. Back, before they were dating, they'd talk all the time. Levi would teach him all sorts of things or just send him a random word with its meaning. Anyone who didn't know them would think Levi thought him stupid, but those messages had been unbelievably dear to him... now... nothing. Maybe his boyfriend found him stupid after all? He kind of was. It'd taken him two weeks to write barely 20 pages of large messy writing, and the amount of words he'd had to Google was... yeah. He was stupid. Wiping at his face with his left hand, he thumbed at his phone with his right. He needed advice and there was only one person he could think of. Hanji. Erwin still thought he didn't like him... the alpha had apologised for causing the panic attack that had caused him to wet himself like a fucking idiot. He'd tried to tell Erwin it wasn't his fault, but he didn't want to listen. So. He messaged Hanji. Not expecting that she'd message him right back, telling him she'd come pick him up because she had errands to run. He didn't want to leave the apartment. Levi had had two new locks, a new chain and a new inside bolt installed... all because of him. He'd ruined the apartment for his boyfriend. His home...

Taking a quick shower, he grabbed his back pack, as well as his bloods form and wallet. He nearly left his phone home, not wanting to risk messaging Levi while in his sulk, but supposed he shouldn't. He also grabbed a change of clothes, hoping Hanji would let him stay the night there... even if Moblit's parents were still there, he didn't mind sleeping on the sofa, or the floor. Or on the back lawn if he had to.

Heading down to the front of the apartment building, he found Hanji's sedan easily. Jogging over to it, he felt no shame as he threw himself in the front passenger seat. Hanji looked like a beautiful mess. Her hair was piled up into a messy bun. Her makeup half done, but the smile on her face. He'd missed it  
"Hey, honey. I feel like I haven't seen you in months!"  
Clicking his seatbelt in place, Eren nodded  
"I know. I'm sorry! I'm such a terrible godfather"  
Hanji smacked his arm with a laugh  
"Admit it. You're scared of the nappies"  
"Maybe just a little bit... where's Anna?"  
"At home. Moblit's mother won't let her out of her sight. It's... frustrating"  
Letting out a sigh through her nose, Hanji didn't look happy  
"Is there anything I can do?"  
"No. No. I know I should appreciate the added hands, but..."  
"She's your daughter?"  
"Yeah. Anyway. You didn't message me to listen to my complaints"  
"I don't mind. I've really missed you... like, a lot"  
"Aw. You're so sweet. Now, tell me what you need to do while we're out? You wouldn't have brought your bag otherwise"  
It was hard to be depressed when Hanji seemed to have genuinely missed him  
"I need to get a blood test done... Levi was supposed to take me..."  
"Trouble in paradise?"  
"I think we're going to break up..."  
"What? Why? What happened?"  
"I think I really fucked up... and... yeah. He's mad"  
"I'm sure it's not that bad"  
"You know the ridge thing, between his eyebrows, he gets when he's cranky and won't spit it out. It's been there the last two days"  
Hanji snorted, turning her sedan back on and indicating as she pulled away from the curb and into the traffic   
"Eren. He adores you"  
"He doesn't even want to know me. I mean. I have to have this stupid blood test because my doctor wants to confirm I'm not pregnant... and we talked about it. But he's mad"  
He couldn't talk to her about the "knife thing", but this he could. She'd been there her  
"Wait. Hold up. Pregnant?"  
"I'm probably not... the doctor said the medication I was on could cause a false positive. So I have to have a blood test"  
"How long have you been dealing with this?"  
"A few weeks..."  
"And you didn't tell Levi?"  
"I didn't want him getting his hopes up..."  
"Aw, sweetheart. It's gonna be ok. Levi never really thought about having kids, and before we all knew it, we were in our "30's". He probably thought that at 35, he was too old for it to ever happen"  
"I didn't even know if I am... it's been really awkward at home, and he doesn't message me like he used to. I feel like we're just going through the motions. It's not fair on Levi. He says he loves me and treats me really good. But... But I feel like I've come along and fucked up his whole life"  
"Alright. You're staying the night. Provided you don't mind sleeping next to me"  
"I can stay?"  
"Just the night. We're going to talk all this out, and you're going to spend some time being a godfather"  
"Moblit's parents won't mind, will they?"  
"Too bad if they do... you're my friend and I've missed you. I think I deserve some Eren time"  
"I wouldn't sound so happy about it... I'm not that great"  
Hanji smacked the back of his head  
"Hey!"  
"No more negative self words. Things. Negative self thoughts. That's it. I will put you over my knee and spank you if I have to"  
"Ooh I'd like to see that"  
Hanji snorted, her smile wide  
"So would I. Anyway, let's get your test out the way first. I know the girls in pathology, they'll take good care of you"  
"You're just excited that they're going to stab me with needles"  
"Just one needle. And it'll be over in a few minutes"  
"Then we wait"  
"Hey, it's ok"  
"It's ok". That seemed like Levi's default line when it came to him... it didn't feel like everything was ok.

Hanji was happy to chat away about Anna while Eren had his blood taken. He didn't even know he could have the test done at the hospital, and as she'd said, it was over in a few minutes. For the first time, in a long time, the sight of blood left him feeling faint and sick to the bottom of his stomach. He knew these tests were necessary, but he wanted the needle out of his arm the moment he saw blood filling the vial thing. Wandering out of the room, he felt like he was in daze, walking straight into Hanji without even noticing. Wrapping her arm around his waist like it was natural thing to do, she said her farewells and led him through the glass doors to freedom  
"Eren, are you ok? Do you feel faint? Do you need to sit?"  
"I feel sick"  
"From nerves or from the test"  
"She said it's going to take 3 days for the results. I don't know if my relationship has three days left..."  
"Honey. No. You and Levi. That's the real deal. This is just a little bump"  
"We don't even know if there's anything in there"  
"Did you try a home test?"  
"No..."  
"I think I have a couple at home still. You can use those"  
"But..."  
Hanji nuzzled his shoulder, trying to comfort him  
"Eren, I don't need them. And while you wait for your blood results, this might give you some peace of mind"  
"I've never..."  
"The instructions are on the box. I'll talk you through it all"  
"Are you sure?"  
"Having a baby, at any age, is a big deal. Everyone feels anxious and nervous. What you're feeling, it's normal. Ok?"  
"I suppose... Levi said he didn't want to bond with me just because I'm pregnant. He said he wanted to bond with me because he wants to be with me. I didn't even think of it that way, not until he said that"  
"See. He wouldn't be saying that if he didn't still want to be with you. Come on, my sweet. Let's get the rest of these errands done, then you have all the cuddles with Anna you want"  
Eren's omega perked up at the idea of time with Anna. It did, after all, want a pup of its own like crazy...   
"That sounds really good... I'm so sorry for my mood. I didn't expect to be dragging you around"  
"I'm grateful I have someone to go out with. It's funny, at home, I'm never alone. Moblit's mother doesn't even let me shower on my own. The other night, I had Anna laying on the bed next to me and you would have thought I'd left her outside to freeze. She bundled her off and off she went"  
"I know she's Moblit's mum, but..."  
"I cannot wait until she goes back home. That's probably horrible to say, but I'm exhausted"  
"You can keep me as long as you want... I'm kind of up for adoption"  
"Don't make spank you"  
Eren rolled his eyes, feeling a little better now that Hanji's warmth was soaking into him  
"Fine. At this moment in time, I think that Levi and I both could use a little space"  
"I still think you're totally wrong. Levi's just being grump"  
"Yeah. But I lied and kept things from him"  
"Because you were scared. And let me tell you another little secret. Everybody lies. No, miss Doctor Woman. I have no idea how I ended up with that toy car up my arse"  
"Wait. What?"  
"True story. You know those little metal cars... yeah. Don't think about sticking one up your arse and lying about it"  
"Why would you want to?"  
"I have no fucking idea. People are weird"  
Eren definitely wasn't ever going to forget this story, and though he had a hundred questions about it, he wisely kept his mouth shut. But seriously. A toy car. Why?!

 

*  
Anna was absolutely adorable and Eren wanted one. He'd barely spent time with Mina, but the moment he stepped through Hanji's front door, Hanji had taken Anna from Moblit's mother and placed her in Eren's arms. Then informed him he was on baby duty. He didn't mind at all. Anna was much quieter than he'd expected. Her brown eyes were filled with curiosity, while her tiny pink lips always seemed to be smiling. She was gorgeous. Ignoring Moblit's mother's fussing, Eren was sat down in the living room... which had been rearranged. Actually, from what he could see, most of the house had been rearranged. Flopping down against him, Hanji yawned   
"I am sooo ready for a nap"  
Wrapping his left arm around Hanji, he held Anna close. The girl up against his shoulder  
"I think we both deserve a nap"  
"That we do... oh, fuck. I need to find those tests"  
"Don't swear in front of the baby! Honestly, you should know better. What kind of example are you setting for Moblit's daughter"  
Eren growled, not appreciating Mrs Berner butting in. Hanji sighed softly, evidently used to hearing her daughter described as not hers. She definitely needed all the rest and relaxation she could get  
"It can wait"  
"Nope. It can't. Come on, up you get. Let me poke and prod at you"  
Reaching up, Hanji waved her fingers at him. Pretending to bite at them, Hanji giggled as she pulled them back  
"Or, I could stay here and let you nap against me"  
"God... yes, but just think, we can nap in my room. In a bed"  
"Anna's nice and comfortable. Did you think about that?"  
"You're on baby duty. By the way, you need a suit for your birthday"  
"What? Why?"  
"That's her christening date. Don't worry, you're the Godfather"  
"If I'm the Godfather, does that make Levi the Godmother?"  
Hanji cackled, accidentally upsetting Anna. Releasing his hold on Hanji, he moved to cradle Anna up against his chest, the tiny girl latching onto his finger   
"Can you imagine. Levi. Levi as a fairy Godmother. With the fluffy pink dress, and the pink shoes and the wand and the tiara"  
Hanji continued laughing like a maniac. Eren sucked his lips in, biting lightly while trying not to scare Anna more than Hanji had. Levi would be pissed they'd ever joked about it...  
"Come on. You need answers and I need photos of you with Anna"

Peeing on a stick should have been easy... yet standing there, he couldn't fucking pee. Hanji was standing outside the bathroom, offering unhelpful suggestions. A continue running monologue about all things water and pregnancy related... until, finally, he peed. There should have been some kind of finger prick test, because these sticks fucking sucked. You couldn't help but get pee on your fucking fingers. Seriously. He could have just peed in his hand and stuck the test in. It would have been sooooo much easier.

Laying the three tests out. He glared at them as he washed his hands  
"Eren?!"  
"Hold on! I'm washing my hands!"  
"Hurry up!"  
Grumbling to himself, he finished washing up his hands. Letting Hanji in, she walked right over to the tests  
"Did you have fun?"  
"No. These things are f... effen horrible"  
Hanji nodded  
"Yeah, they're not great. Anyway. Two minutes... what do you want them to be?"  
Positive... but that might not be what Levi wanted  
"I..."  
"No matter what, Levi is still going to love you"  
Looking from the tests to Anna, and back to the tests, his eyes filled with tears. He wanted a baby. He wanted to have Levi's baby...  
"I can see it on your face"  
"Levi might not want a pup"  
"I'm sure he does. With you..."  
"I want to have a baby"  
"Aw sweetheart, here. Come here. Cry it out on my shoulder"

 

*  
Ignoring his ringing phone, Erwin snatched it up from the dash. It was the forth time in a row Hanji had called. If it was Eren, he might have answered... only might though. He was chicken shit with fear. If Eren had found out what he'd done... yeah...  
"Oi! What the fuck are you doing?!"  
"It's Hanji. Something might be wrong"  
"Or she's bored"  
Answering the call, Erwin shoved the phone at him  
"Levi? For fuck's sake, are you there?"  
"Stop yelling in my fucking ear"  
"Oh. So now you decide to answer. I'm not yelling. I'm whisper yelling"  
"What do you want? Why are you "whisper yelling" in my ear?"  
"Well. I might have borrowed Eren and broken him. He's a bit upset, and staying here tonight"  
"What do you mean, you broke him?"  
"He told me he thought you wanted to break up with him. So, I told him that was totally not true. Then he told me about the blood test and went and had that done. Things were going well, and I had some tests left over from trying for Anna... anyway, because the blood results are going to take a couple of days, I told him to go ahead and use them. Which he did. All three..."  
Pinching the bridge of his nose, he wasn't sure he wanted to hear the next bit  
"So you kidnapped him and forced him to take a test?"  
"Three. Levi. He's really upset"  
Upset because he was pregnant? It upset because he wasn't. His voice was unnaturally hoarse  
"W-what did..."  
"He's not. I'm so sorry. All three tests came back negative. He... he was really hoping. I mean, there's still the blood test..."  
"No. No. It's ok... I... I have to go"  
"Levi?"  
So Eren wasn't pregnant. It felt like some one had wrapped their hand around his heart and fucking crushed it. His voice choked and just as hoarse as he choked out  
"Just look after him"  
"Wait! No. Levi. He's crying. It's been hours..."  
Eren wanted his children, and now... unlike him, Eren had had weeks to think this through   
"Look after him... ok?"

Ending the call, he threw his mobile back up onto the dash. Covering his face with his hands, he raised his right leg and kicked the dash as hard as he could  
"Fuuuuuuck!"  
"Whoa! Hey, Levi. What's wrong?!"  
Kicking the dash twice more, Erwin pulled over  
"Levi! Hey. You need to calm down. What's wrong?"  
"Oh, nothing. You know. Abso-fucking-lutely nothing"  
He really didn't suit a snippy and sarcastic tone. Eren thought he didn't want him, and he wasn't pregnant... Fuck wasn't a strong enough word to sum up every emotion flooding through his body. Eren had wanted a pup, and he'd failed him  
"Levi. What's wrong? Is Hanji alright? And Eren?"  
"Yeah. No. He's been crying for hours, and Hanji's worried"  
"Why's he so upset?"  
"His doctor made him take a pregnancy test... it came back positive. She took him off his meds, told him to wait a month, then have a fucking blood test. Hanji took him for it"  
Chancing a glance to Erwin, he found his friend smiling  
"So, you're going to be a dad. No wonder Eren's crying"  
"Three home tests say no. Eren's fucking devastated"  
Erwin's smile slipped, Levi sighing bitterly as he pulled his hands away from his face completely   
"Fuck"  
"Pretty much..."  
"I'm sorry. I know how hard it was for Hanji and Moblit to go through false positives and slips"  
"Before you start, we use contraceptives, but we both know they're not always one hundred percent. Still..."  
"Do you need to go?"  
"No. No. I'd probably just make things worse. He already thinks I want to break up with him. So heaven forbid, he actually listens to me when I fucking try talking to him"  
"Levi. I think you need to go. He loves you, and he wanted your pup. Now he feels like he's lost both of you"  
"How the fuck am I supposed to make him understand I'm not fucking leaving. Your shitty friend, Floch, he called us in. Zeke was planning on using Eren to get to his inheritance. Then, he was planning on fucking selling him off"  
"Eren trusts you"  
"Well, maybe he fucking shouldn't"  
Not after what he'd done that morning... fuck. Why the fuck did all this shit have to happen at once?!  
"You don't mean that"  
"How the fuck do you know what I mean?"  
"Because I've seen how you are with him. When it comes to Eren, you go above and beyond for him. And he adores you"  
"If he really cared, he wouldn't think I want to break up with him"  
"Look. He's gotta be scared and confused... we both know his traumas run deep. Despite everything, he chose to be with you"  
"He's still a fucking kid. He should be out drinking and partying and going to college. Not sitting at home all fucking day, locked up like he's under house arrest"  
"Have you tried talking to him about it?"  
"He wants to get a job"  
"What's stopping him?"  
"The stupid fucking deal he made to keep all of us out of trouble. He told me a couple of days ago, he still can't read or write that well. He used to fucking ask me for help..."  
"I've noticed you two don't text as often as you used to"  
"I always wanted to help him get his feet back under him... now I can't help but wonder if I'm doing more harm than good"  
"He's come a long way since you two got together. From what you've told me, his panic attacks aren't as frequent as they had been. You're obviously sexually active. And he's accepting his omega side"  
"He doesn't want to be an omega. And he's too fucking young to know what he wants"  
"Right. So the fact he wanted to be carrying your child, means nothing? The fact he's living with you, means nothing? The fact he made whatever this deal was, means nothing? Go ahead and be a selfish arsehole. I'm still driving over to check in with him, even if you won't. It must be rough for him. Being in love with an alpha who doesn't even trust him"  
Levi exploded, the words bursting from his lips before he could stop them   
"That's why he's been fucking lying to me for weeks! Hiding the fact he knows who killed Zeke! Refusing to talk to me or the fucking police about it! How the fuck am I supposed to be his partner if he won't fucking tell me this shit!"  
Erwin sighed heavily  
"Levi. If you were in his situation, would you tell him? Or would you try to protect him by keeping your mouth shut? If you'd found out that Zeke wanted to sell him, could you honestly say you'd tell him that?"  
Levi replied hotly   
"It's not the same"  
"How? You'd keep it from him because you don't want him to hurt. You'd do it because even if he knew, it wouldn't change things"  
"He's fucking scared for his life. For all of us. If he just told the police, they'd be able to do to something"  
"Zeke was found with drugs and cash in his room. If he was dealing, then the organisation would have other members. Even if they arrest the people who killed Zeke, what happens to the other members? The people that Zeke fucked over. You said something about Zeke selling Eren. Well, what's to stop that buyer settling things themselves? If word gets out that Eren can identify who was there and who Zeke dealt with... You may as well paint a fucking target on his back. That's probably what he's thinking. I agree. He should talk to the police, but we both know there are officers who won't lift a finger to help him. Look at how he was treated over stealing money, that he didn't even take. Because he's an omega and omegas are over dramatic. So, yeah. He might have lied, but he did it because he fucking loves you"

Levi sat in stunned silence. He hated when Erwin took his "dad" tone. But he was right. If this was the other way around, he wouldn't be telling Eren anything. Not if he could protect him from it. He'd make any fucking deal it took, to keep him safe. Fuck. Fuck. Triple fuck. In that case... he shouldn't have fucking taken everything to Floch. Ten grand might be a fucking sneeze to these people, but if Eren started naming members and their connections... fuck. He'd pulled a fucking Erwin and fucked up. Placing his hand on his thigh, Erwin squeezed firmly  
"It looks like you get it"  
"Yeah. It looks like I've fucked up"  
"This is Eren. He'll forgive you?"  
Levi gave the faintest shake of his head, before looking out the window   
"I really don't know if he will"  
"Just talk to him. Let him know you still love him, even if he isn't pregnant. He's going to need a lot of reassurance right now. His omega is most probably in meltdown"  
"Yeah... fuck. Being single was much less complicated"  
"Maybe. Can you say that you were happier before Eren came into your life?"  
"I don't even remember what life was like before him"  
"That's all you need to know. Let's go find your wayward Juliet"  
"You do know how that ends, right?"  
"Levi. It's about time you joined the age of "pop culture". It's built on bastardising everything"  
"Ha. You got the bastard part right"  
Erwin squeezed his thigh again  
"He loves you. Don't forget that"  
"I know..."  
Levi let out a shaky breath through his nose  
"... I know"


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooook. I decided after all the heavy, we should end it here for the day. You would have gotten an update yesterday, but I was pretending I am outdoors person. I'm  
> Not  
> It was hot  
> There was sweat  
> There was also a massive flare of my fat shititis. Came back inside dripping sweat and as red as tomato...
> 
> Anyway... you probably don't actually care. Have some truths sprinkled with angst

Laying in Hanji's bed, Eren wept. He'd cried for what must have been hours, but the tears refused to stop. Three negative tests. Three negative tests and his dream of being a mother was over. There was no mistaking that. It felt as is his heart had physically broken, the pain in his chest all consuming as he cried over his own patheticness. Both Levi and his doctor had told him that he probably wasn't pregnant, yet he'd stupidly become attached to the life that hadn't even been growing inside of him to begin with. He'd wanted this. He'd wanted this so badly and he'd let Levi down. He'd opened his mouth and told him. If he'd just kept quiet, Levi would be none the wiser. He could have hidden it completely. Levi wouldn't have to know that he was a bad omega. Or rather, his boyfriend wouldn't have to know he was worthless omega. What kind of omega couldn't carry pups? It didn't matter that they'd used protection. Not when they'd had a ridiculous amount of sex without a condom... he'd had his shot, but did that mean he could never fall pregnant? That he was never going to be able to give Levi children? That's what it felt like. That those three tests were life's way of saying he just wasn't good enough to be a mother. Surely this had to be his punishment for being so bad.

Hanji had tried to soothe him, but his omega wasn't having it. She wasn't his alpha. Her scent wasn't safe and warm like Levi's. It wasn't the scent that made his heart leap, or made him slick like crazy during heat. It wasn't the scent that anchored him... She, just wasn't Levi. And Levi was the only one his omega wanted. He was the only one that Eren wanted. Levi was the foundation of his very identity. Everything he did or said, was because of Levi's influence. He would walk through the fires of hell to be with his alpha... So why was it he couldn't even fall pregnant, for him. Now Levi had no reason to be by his side. Before Levi, he'd never met anyone he wanted in his life, for the rest of his life. Even omegas who casually hooked up and fell pregnant, were forced to admit that through their child, the would never be free of the ties that bound them to the father of their child. He wanted to be bound by Levi. He wanted Levi to want him and need him, like he did him. If he'd been pregnant, than no matter what, there would have been a tie that bound them... and now that was gone. He was so fucking stupid. He'd gotten excited. In those few moments before checking the tests, he'd actually gotten excited. His heart was racing as his omega proud. But that was gone now... and he just couldn't stop fucking crying like the idiot he was. When he'd given himself over and let those alphas mount him, he couldn't remember them wearing protection... then again, he hadn't remembered everything when he'd woken up. Things had taken a few days to come back. Small fragments coming together to build the bigger picture. If they'd mounted him, and they'd filled him with their seed, why hadn't he fallen pregnant by them? They'd all taken turns, even when his cries turned to Levi's name, they'd still plowed into him. He'd embraced that fantasy to escape his reality. His omega state reduced to its carnal desired. The heat and drugs turning his brain to mush, until their touches had turned to pleasure and he'd come over and over. It wasn't until he'd come down from the high that he'd felt sick. He tried to ignore it, but without the drugs, he felt cold from their touches. Sick from the force of their trusts. Nauseous from their knot inside of him. They'd used him, and they'd lied. He really was stupid. With Levi, it was all a fresh start. He'd given himself to the alpha and considered Levi the one to take his virginity. Not the ones who'd kept him locked in chains for their pleasure. If Levi knew... Levi would leave. Wasn't that what he wanted though? If things were over, he might as well make Levi so revolted that he could never forget him. So that the man would carry that ugly black stain on his soul until he died... as payback for lying to him. He wished for Levi's happiness. He did. But he was hurting so badly. Levi hadn't really seemed that excited over his possible pregnancy. Not like Jean had been, or Moblit. If Levi hated him, he might as well hate him from the very depths of his soul. With time, Levi would move on and he'd be forgotten. That... that would be for the best. He probably didn't have long left anyway. Not with Bertholdt openly declaring that once the favour was paid, he'd die. Yeah. He needed Levi to leave him, or the alpha would die.

 

*  
Levi felt sick to his stomach as he walked up to Hanji's door. The door opening before he could even knock. Eren's distressed scent rolled thickly off the female alpha, Hanji looking slightly uncomfortable about it all. Her instincts to protect we're probably through the roof  
"Thank fuck you came. He's in my room. Levi, he's in a really bad way. He hasn't tried to hurt himself, but..."  
Hanji shook her head, her eyes sad. She had already said that Eren was in a bad way, so her words were completely unnecessary. It was like pouring salt into his the open wounds of his own emotional distress. Giving her a nod, he headed straight up.

Walking into Hanji's room, Eren was curled up in the middle of the bed. The omega still crying his heart out, while his scent was trying to keep Levi from coming close. His boyfriend trying to reject him, despite not being bonded. Omegas generally didn't reject their alpha, not even in their final moments. Even when those final moments came from being bashed to death by their alpha. The whole secondary dynamic system was completely fucked. Everyone could talk until they were blue in the face about protecting omegas and empowering them, but at the end of the day, none of that shit mattered when an omega accepted their partner completely. Climbing up on Hanji's bed, he cautiously placed his hand on Eren's head  
"Eren?"  
Whimpering, Eren curled in tighter   
"Hey. I'm here. I'm here, my love"  
Crooning softly, Levi laid himself behind Eren, wrapping himself around his boyfriend as much as was humanly possible  
"I know it hurts. But I'm here. We knew it was a long shot, and I'm sorry I wasn't here for your tests"  
Eren completely ignored him. Rather. He verbally and physically ignored his presence. His scent flared further. Forcing out the vile tendrils of rejection  
"Eren. You need to let me in. You need to let me be here for you"  
He needed him to fucking open up... at least enough that Levi could talk to him. To make him understand that despite the scare, he loved him. He loved him and he'd been stupid with fear  
"Eren, please. Stop rejecting me. I fucking love you"  
His voice broke, tears in his eyes. His alpha was roaring in pain. Not just emotional, but physical. He felt like... like he being torn apart by his second dynamic. He couldn't stop his bitter tears  
"P-please, brat. Please let me in. Stop rejecting me"  
Begging. He didn't beg. His pride didn't allow it. Without saying a single thing, Eren had reduced him to this... to this pathetic lump that vaguely resembled him. With a miserably sob, he buried his face against Eren's nape  
"I'll bond with you. I'll breed you. I'll do anything you tell me to do. Just stop this. Please. I need you"

"If I talk. Will you listen?"  
Eren's voice was husky from the hours spent crying. So soft he nearly missed it in his own distressed state   
"Yes"  
"To all of it?"  
"Yes"  
He'd do anything to take Eren's pain away... he shouldn't have thrown up his walls and pushed for space between them. He should have swallowed down his own need to figure everything out, and given Eren what he needed to get him through this pregnancy scare  
"Let go of me..."  
He didn't know if he could. His body was fused in place. Scared that if he did let go, everything between them out break so badly that no amount of super glue could ever repair them  
"I..."  
"Let me go"  
If Eren's voice hadn't been cold before, it had dropped another several degrees in his moment of hesitation. Prying himself off Eren was like prying apart two sheets of wet glass. All he could do was slide and hope he didn't crack upon separation.

When Eren was finally free, he moved to sit on the edge of the bed, facing towards the door of Hanji's ensuite. Wrapping his arms around himself, Eren took a breath  
"I was 10 when I watched my father murder my mother..."  
This wasn't what he wanted. He'd wanted to know Eren's back story so fucking badly, but hearing it almost seemed to make his ears hurt. There was no emotion here. Just words. Spoken as if off a script   
"I came down stairs because I was thirsty. Grisha never accepted having an omega son. For two years we hid it from him. I watched him kill her. She told me to run, so I tried to protect her. Grisha threw me against the wall and killed her in our kitchen. He'd gotten in to deep, and couldn't see another way out of it all. I remember someone else was there. I just don't remember who. He was the first to want to sell me. To sell away his shame. I kept my mouth shut as he went insane. He'd frequently hit me. Every time I heard him coming, I hid in my wardrobe. He'd find me and beat me. He was a doctor, so he always knew just where to hit... and then cleaned it up by saying I was clumsy. When my mum died, he banned me from seeing Mikasa and Armin. I wasn't allowed to go to school anymore. I wasn't allowed to have friends over. This went on until one day he dumped me and disappeared.

After that, I was put into the foster system. I was 10 when I stopped going to school. I had screaming nightmares and was never anywhere long enough to go. Thomas told me my heats came from the fact I desperately wanted to be love. The doctors said they didn't happen properly because of emotional trauma. Whatever it was. I was too much of a problem child for the foster parents to handle. I never stayed anywhere for long at all. No one knew how to treat me or deal with me, and most weren't prepared to handle an omega with messed up heats. I was like a library book. Taken, only to be returned. I lost count of the number of homes. The faces of the other children all blended into one. None of it meant anything to me anyway. I mean. Mum had to die because I existed. I may not have been the one to physically killer her, but I didn't stop it either.

When I first saw that house, I knew something was wrong. For the first time since everything began, I finally found a family that didn't just shove me off. They kept me around until my heat and then everything changed. To begin with, I would cook and clean for them. Dress how they wanted. Entertain their friends and let them slap me around. After all. My own father didn't want me. I deserved it all. Then, things started getting worse. They started with the chains. My wrists and ankles. Collar around my neck, to prevent mating bonds. They kept a gag in my mouth. The system was so relieved that I wasn't being bounced around anymore, they didn't bother checking in. Things started growing sexual. They'd beat me. Push me to the floor if I made the slightest mistakes. If they were drinking, they'd piss on my, rather than walk to the bathroom. If they were drunk and horny, they'd jack off over my body. At night, or when I wasn't needed, I was kept in their basement. I had thin sheets, that were little more than rags, a bowl to eat from like a dog, and a bucket to shit in. If I stank too bad, they hosed me down with a garden hose. The basement was always cold and wet. There were rats and it leaked when it rained. When they first gagged me, I would scream and fight. They'd push me down and fuck between my legs. They'd bash me regularly. I was tired of being treated like a monster for my dynamic. So I stopped fighting. Even when the gag came off, I wouldn't speak. I've had surgery because my back teeth were ruined by the gag, and started growing crooked. When I stopped speaking, I became nearly completely non vocal with words. I think it was a year or two. I think I was with them for 3 or 4 years. If their friends got a little too enthusiastic, they'd always make sure to beat my stomach. They didn't mount me, but some nights I fell asleep covered in cum. No matter how much I rubbed at my skin, even if it started to bleed, I couldn't get it off. It's not assault if you're not mounted. The court said Alphas can't help their desires and needs, around an omega who constantly goes into heat because of emotional trauma. As I grew, they replaced the cuffs around my wrists. They were slightly different to the metal ones around my ankles. They left those in place, cutting in as I grew. One day, one of them was complaining. They called me the bastard son of Grisha Yeager. It was then I realised. Everything done to me, was because of my father. Never once did they see me for me. No. I was the kid of the man they hated and they took that out on me. When they realised who I was, they kept me chained constantly. They left me down their to die.

Someone called Child Services and reporter the abuse anonymously. Police raided the place, yet, they all got off. Zeke took me in shortly after I woke in hospital. I was around 16, maybe nearly 17. I say shortly after, but my sense of time was nonexistent. It felt like years. Laying in that bed. Staring at those walls. I was violent so they'd tie me down and dose me. I had to have surgery to correct my teeth. I was malnourished to the point where my body had started failing. I was in constant pain and constantly feverish. I was covered in bite marks from bugs and mice and whatever else. And they still got off because I was mute and they were alphas. Zeke murderer them all. It was after that that I found my voice again. Looking at those photos. I was happy. They were burned beyond recognition, but he told me how he slowly tortured them. How he cut their fingers off for touching me. How he kept them alive and made them watch each other die. I wasn't scared by it. I felt happy. I finally had someone who protected me. He'd taken care of the trash the police refused to touch. He burned their house down. He said the whole place was too evil to exist. That no one should live like that, especially not because of our father. He hated him. Grisha had walked out on Zeke and his mother. Sometimes I see Zeke's mother as my mother's killer. It's not like the memories of a ten year old are accurate. No one cares. 

Zeke took me in. We lived with his two friends. Reiner Braun and Bertholdt Hoover. Zeke wasn't stronger than the pair of them, but he kept them both in line. He poisoned Bertholdt, simply for being too close to me. He forced them to work at the same club as me. He refused to let anyone close me. He taught me to be strong. He got me into dancing instead of physical therapy and he controlled my diet so I didn't get sick again. Zeke taught me how to be a human again, and not a dog eating out a bowl. He had to teach me how to bath, shower, shit and shave all over again. How to eat with a knife and fork, and the alphabet. All I had to do was stay by his side. I couldn't talk to Reiner or Bertholdt. I couldn't get too close to them or he'd hurt them. He wanted to come after all of you, after I fell off the stage and needed surgery. He cleaned me after my heats, let me sleep in his bed where I was safe. He'd dress my wounds from scratching and make sure I was using my vitamin E cream so I wouldn't scar. He showed me how to use concealer to hide the scars around my ankles. The mask I wore, was crafted by him. I was no longer Eren from the basement. I was no longer touched and used by alphas. Instead, I danced and waved in their faces that they could never fuck me. I never, ever wanted an alpha again. All of them were so pathetic as they pushed money down my underwear, and watched my every move. And I fucking loved it. They all deserved it. They're nothing more than animals in human skins. It made me feel alive. I took back those broken parts of me, and shoved it in their faces. I danced and behind the scenes, my brother would hurt anyone who hurt me. All I had to do was be obedient to him. They might have never mounted me out of fear of pregnancy, but up on that stage, I could see that's exactly what they were thinking and I fucking loved it.

When Zeke abandoned me at the hospital, he came to see me when Hanji took me home. He told me to stay there and behave, so I did. I waited every day for him to come take me home. Until you came along. I never let myself dream. You know. I broke my ankle when I was drunk. I climbed up on the balcony rail because I wanted to fly. When I jumped down, I broke it. I never dared to dream. But I wanted to be a fucking bird. I wanted to fly away and leave everything behind. It was so hard being good. I never felt good enough. I couldn't have friends. I couldn't go out. I couldn't eat what I wanted and I was always hungry. I wanted to leave the alpha with the mercury eyes behind. The stupid alpha I couldn't get out my head. I even started dressing in grey, because I was that pathetic. I thought things with you were different. You cried for me when you thought you raped me. I'd never met an alpha like you. You always smelt and felt safe. I always wanted your full attention. No matter how jealous and petty it was. I wanted you to want me as much I wanted you. I wanted to be good for you. I wanted to be the perfect omega. But at the end of the day, I am dirty. I'm so filthy that my soul will never be clean. Even if I couldn't voice words, I cried out when they touched me during my heats. The people who hurt me because they couldn't hurt my father. He must have known and he never came. He tried to kill me, and didn't care when someone else tried to do the same. He denied my existence. If he's still alive, he probably thinks I'm dead.

The truth of it all is that I am not a sweet and caring person. I help others purely because I know what it's like to be powerless and it makes me feel good. I want the praise. I want to be wanted. I want to be wanted by you. I wanted to have your children. I wanted to be pregnant. I wanted it so fucking badly. But this... I am a bad omega, and this is the punishment. I've lied to you. Hurt you. Ruined your life and kicked you away. You were never supposed to hear this, but I'll probably be dead soon, and you can never unhear how worthless and dirty I am. I truly fell in love with you. But love won't give you that baby. It won't change the fact I wasn't pregnant. It won't change the fact that Zeke hit me and froze me in a cold shower for touching myself. It won't make me any cleaner. I am the bastard son of Grisha Yeager. It's a sin for me to live. My living has killed both my mother and Zeke... can you sit there and say you feel the same way about me now? Of course you can't. You loathe dirty things, and I lied so you would never know the real me... any of this. But if our relationship is over. Then there's no point to hide this... not anymore. You should go"

Levi's whole body shook. The way Eren spoke so dispassionately about himself was sickening. He'd been told a little and put thing together by himself. But all of this was so much bigger than he'd expected. He didn't understand how Eren could think he deserved any of it. He didn't understand why Eren had to pay for the sins of his father and brother. He didn't understand how Eren thought him knowing, would make him love him any less. Climbing from Hanji's bed, Levi walked around it, squatting down in front of Eren and staring up into his green eyes  
"Eren..."  
"What are you doing? I told you to leave"  
"Are you fucking stupid? Do you really think that I wanted to break up with you"  
"I'm not pregnant"  
"I know"  
"Then why?"  
"Why what?"  
"Why won't you leave?"  
"Because I love you. You're such a fucking idiot, if you think what you said changes how I feel about you. I knew you were abused. You told me yourself, and I've seen the scars. I've heard you crying out in your nightmares. I'm disappointed you're not pregnant, but that doesn't meant that I don't love you. So please, stop trying to reject me. It physically hurts to smell you like you. You are my boyfriend. And one day, we can try for a baby. I told you that. Right now, you're hurting and confused"  
"I wanted to be... I... I really wanted to be"  
Eren broke down, falling forwards into his arms, and causing them both to land on Hanji's floor. Unlike his weeping before, these were howls of pain. Not only was Eren not pregnant, he'd finally broken down and told him his past  
"Thank you for finally telling me"  
Eren's scent was no longer rejecting him. Levi's heart still felt just a broken, but that pain would fade. He fucking loved his shitty brat  
"I wanted your baby. It hurts... Levi... It hurts"

Nuzzling into Eren's neck, he nodded against him. Trying to calm and soothe his lover as he hushed him. Even with all he said, he still felt Eren was the kindest and sweetest person he'd met. He'd just had a rough hand in life... he didn't have the white picket fence. What he'd been through, that had been his normality. They'd all treated him like an animal, and he'd believed himself not worthy. Every adult had fucking failed him. He couldn't help but like Zeke just a tiny bit. If he had the chance to torture all those who'd hurt his omega, he fucking would. And the fucking judge. What kind of fucked-up bullshit arsehole, decided fucking torture was acceptable because the walking shit stains couldn't control their dicks. Knowing what he did now, so much of Eren's behaviour made sense. The scratching. He trying to rid himself of the nonexistent mess. Why he loved dancing and why Eren said Zeke saved him. He wasn't disgusted that Eren found happiness in the death of the alphas who'd hurt him. And he felt his love was brave for dancing in front of them. He could see how the shift in power would help Eren's mental state. There so much happening in his brain, he couldn't fucking stop thinking about it all. Eren told him the truth, thinking that would make him leave. He wasn't leaving. Did Eren want to leave? And what about the rest of the story? About when he went back to Zeke? About who killed Zeke? Did he still need the story? He knew Eren had sold his body for a deal they never kept... no. He knew the story. He knew more than he thought he did. He knew everything he needed to know, other than the names of arseholes who'd touched Eren. Once he had those... No... Floch would do his fucking job. If he didn't, then none of this would mean anything. But that wasn't true either, was it? Eren had told him his secret, and he couldn't understand why it was supposed to change anything between them. It was all in the past. It wasn't like Eren was a psychotic serial killer... No. His dead brother was. See. Nothing to fucking worry about. Just because a little bit of crazy ran in his bloodlines, didn't mean anything. Everyone was fucking crazy... You kind of had to be to survive.

"I just want to forget... why can't I forget?! I don't want to remember anymore! How long do I have to dream about it?! Are these even my memories? I don't know what's real anymore"  
Eren was hiccuping for breath, his words pushed out as it they were the last things he'd ever get the chance to say. Struggling to push Eren back enough to see his face, Levi had to keep a firm hold. All Eren wanted to do was hide against him   
"Eren, I need you to breathe. Ok. Ok, deep breaths for me or you'll pass out"  
"I... don't care"  
"Well I do. You. You're my omega. And this right here is real"  
"No.... no. You don't want me..."  
"I love you. I don't give two fucking shits what you think. I love you. I love you, even when you're being a stubborn little shit about all the wrong fucking things. Your past. It happened. It happened and what you said hasn't changed a fucking thing between us. Eren, what happened that day with Zeke?"

He'd hoped that in his state, Eren would spill what happened without thinking. If Eren was getting everything off his chest, now would be time to talk about this. Sometimes to heal a wound, you needed to open it further and drain the infection. Eren's memories were that infection. If his omega was going to heal, he needed to his wound open. He'd thought Eren wouldn't be as strong as he was. Shoving Levi back with a scream, his brat grabbed his hair, tearing at it, while shaking his head. Grabbing Eren's wrists, he pulled his hands down to his lap, more strands torn free in the protest  
"Ok. Ok. We won't talk about that. But just know, whatever happened, I will still love you"  
"No... I let them... they... I said yes..."  
"Saying yes doesn't mean it was consensual. Those monsters are no better than the ones who hurt you before"  
"I'm. I'm so... tired, Levi. I want this all to stop. I don't want to live like this..."  
Levi nodded, hesitating as he let Eren's hands go, to pull him back to him. His breathing was still out of control, his scream not helping the situation in the slightest   
"Ok. You're ok. I've got you... I've got you"  
His fatigued and broken state didn't allow Eren the escape of fainting. It felt like an eternity, then his breathing evened out. The kid finally having cried himself to sleep. Lifting Eren, he laid him back down on Hanji's bed, covering him with her blankets and making sure Eren was comfortable.

Walking from Hanji's room, he only made it outside the door before his knees gave out. Falling to his hands and knees, his bitter tears dripped into the carpet. He didn't know how to tell Eren he'd betrayed him. Sitting back on his arse, he interlaced his fingers behind his head, his knees drawn to his chest as he struggled to bring himself under control.

"Levi?"  
Standing at the top of the stairs, Hanji stared down at him. Anna wasn't in her hold, probably downstairs with Moblit's mother or Erwin. Walking down the hall, she sank down and wrapped her arms around him  
"Wanna talk about it?"  
"No"  
"Want me to talk to you, while you pretend to be listening but are actually off with the fairies?"  
"Not really"  
"Do you not want to talk, but actually need to and are being way too stubborn to admit it?"  
Levi snorted, a disgusting snot bubble popping as he did  
"Yeah. Some shit like that. I fucked up. I really fucked up. I don't think Eren can forgive me for what I've done"  
"Is this because you're out here and Eren's in there? I can smell something on you"  
"No... no. He... fuck, Hanji. I've done something fucking stupid"  
"Oooook. This thing. Did you do it to maliciously hurt him?"  
"No"  
"Did you do it to protect him?"  
"Yeah... but from he just said, and what Erwin said. I think I've made a mistake"  
"Then it'll work out"  
"I don't know if it will"  
"It will. You're just being a downer. Seriously. You live way too deeply in your head. Now, go wash your face. Erwin's gone back to work, there's not that long left in your shift. I didn't get to get my photos of Eren with Anna, so you're up"  
"I don't think you want photos of me"  
"Of course I do. You're going to marry Eren, and Eren's her Godfather... that makes you her Godmother"  
Levi snorted again. Fuck. He felt wrecked  
"Godmother?"  
"Yep. I'll be extra nice, and let you do the dinner dishes. Buuuuut you have to get off the floor first"  
"You just want free labour"  
"Yep. Totally. Now move it"  
Hanji dragged him up from the floor  
"You're not going to ask how Eren is?"  
"He's a wreck. He needs his boyfriend, and his boyfriend needs to give himself a fucking break. That's why you're staying the night. It does mean sharing a bed with Eren and I, but I'm sure there are worse things in life"  
"I don't know about that..."  
Slapping his arm, Hanji shot him a smile   
"It'll all be ok. Just wait and see"

Even if things were ok, right now, who knew how things would play out now that Floch had Eren's statement and Zeke's murder weapon...


	42. Chapter 42

As Hanji had threatened, Levi ended up sleeping with Eren and Hanji. Eren having slept like the dead since falling asleep against him. Hanji was more than happy to let Eren curl into her, especially when Eren seemed to need more comfort than Levi alone could provide. The alpha couldn't deny he was jealous over sharing Eren's affections and attentions for the night. His omega had opened his heart to him. Not to Hanji, yet she got the benifits of Eren's soft warmth. After thinking things through, he'd decided that to soothe Eren's omega, some time with Anna would be good for him. Like a trial run for when they had a child of his own. Right now, he was hurting badly over not being pregnant with a baby... and Anna was a baby... letting him fuss and chase after Anna, it made sense to him. Hanji was more than happy to have Eren stay for a few days... provided Levi came by for dinner, even on the nights he finished at a stupid hour.

It was sweet to watch. His omega had some how ended up staying with Hanji for the better part of a week... with out any real desire to leave. Anna seemed to love being held by Eren, so much so that she'd cry every time Moblit's mother tried to hold her, then settle immediately once back in Eren's arms. Hanji was smitten with the sight, she'd trail behind Eren to take photos... while Levi's alpha couldn't deny that Eren carrying a pup around looked right. He wanted a baby with his omega. He wanted Eren fussing over their child. Chasing after them as they grew... His lover's scent was certainly flaunting his availability and eagerness to be bred. Though every time Levi's eyes watch Eren, his omega would blush and duck his head. They hadn't talked about what Eren had said. He'd had work, having to leave his lover sleeping without saying goodbye, then returning that evening... Eren was happy. So happy with Anna that Levi couldn't bring himself to bring it up. He hadn't heard from Floch since handing everything over to him, leaving him hoping that things were slowly being sorted on his end that everything would be over soon.

Bringing Eren home, Levi had prepared everything. He wanted to show his omega that he loved him. That he wanted him and that nothing had changed between them. Swapping his shift with Eld, so he'd have the whole day and night off, he first forced himself to go shopping. Then spent a rather annoying amount of time in the kitchen, in the hopes everything would turn out. He may have been aiming above his current culinary skills, but Eren was way above his league. When dinner prep was done, it was time to collect his lover. Having showered, he shooed Titan into the bathroom, shutting the fat cat away for his own safety. He'd never done anything remotely "romantic" at home, so now, he was drawing as many ideas from cheesy TV shows and movies as he could. Around the apartment, he placed candles for ambiance. Which was why Titan had to be locked away... until he released Eren might like a bath and the cat was moved to his omega's room. Eren had no idea he'd prepared a full roast dinner, with sticky date dessert. Brought two bottle of champagne, both now sitting in ice chilling. And run the bath with hot water, and the salts that Eren had taken a liking too. On their bed were a mix of red and pink rose petals... filthy plant parts were getting their filth all over his bed, but this was for Eren. Things needed to be perfect. 

Picking Eren up, his boyfriend had spent the better part of half an hour saying his goodbyes to Anna. With everything happening at home, he'd been tempted to throw Eren over his shoulder and just carry him out. It was hard to appear casual, his mind kept spacing out, returning to his apartment as he prayed it would still be standing when they returned home. Only shitty idiots left candles unattended. As if picking up on his mood, Eren was quiet. He'd started asking him about his day and about Titan, but gradually the conversation had run dry between them. Even in the elevator, Eren had been quiet. Though when their hands had brushed, his boyfriend shyly looped his little finger around his. For someone who thought their relationship had been over, Eren seemed to have forgotten all about it now. Pausing in front of their apartment, Levi took a deep breath. Not to ground himself. He wanted to make sure nothing was burning inside, and he wasn't about to take Eren into a raging inferno. Slipping his keys out, he gave Eren a half smile  
"Everything ok?"  
"Yeah... it's just weird being allowed to come back here"  
"What do you mean?"  
"I... uh... I thought you didn't want me to come home"  
"Are you serious? I wanted you home the moment I found out you were at Hanji's"  
"You didn't say anything"  
"Because you seemed to be really happy with Anna... and I know how much having a baby means to you. I just thought you'd be happier there, than with me"  
"She is adorable... but if you can stay, after everything I said..."  
Unlocking the two locks, he gave Eren a scowl. Hardly a great way to start a romantic night  
"Of course I'm fucking staying. Do I need to take you to get your ears tested? Now get inside already"  
"Uh... actually, I don't have great hearing"  
"Since when?"  
"For a while. You're probably going to have to repeat yourself and tell me you want me, a lot"

Opening their apartment door, Levi firmly propelled Eren in ahead of him. His boyfriend let out a gasp, spinning on the spot to face him  
"Levi! What is this?"  
"I hate words. I never get them right. I'm better with actions, so here. This is me showing you, I want to be with you"  
"So... you lit candles? I didn't even know we had candles..."  
"We didn't"  
Other than candles for the sake of emergency blackouts...  
"You bought candles? And... are you cooking?"  
"You don't need to sound so shocked. I can cook, and I've cooked for you before"  
"What? No. I'm just... I was sure you wanted me to leave. And now, I'm coming home to this"  
"You were sure, because you're a stubborn shit. Now go take a bath. I'll be in soon"  
"A bath? You want me to take a bath?"  
"I need to check on dinner. The water should still be warm"  
"You ran me a bath?"  
"With those salts you like"  
"What?! Levi. Why?"  
"Because you finally came back home..."  
Eren dropped his backpack and threw his arms around him. Nuzzling into his neck, his alpha swelled with pride  
"I missed you"  
"I missed you, too. Hanji said I could only stay the first night originally"  
"So I could have had you home, for this last fucking week?"  
"If you'd wanted... but being with Anna was really fun..."  
Kissing him on the cheek, Eren took off before Levi could even growl in annoyance. He'd been trying to do the right thing, no matter how much it sucked for both himself and his alpha. While, if he'd just fucking asked Eren what he wanted, his omega would have fucking come home. Now he wouldn't be standing there like a fucking moron in a B-grade romance movie. When Eren opened their bedroom door, he let out a squeal... obviously he'd found the rose petals. Sighing to himself, Levi retreated to the kitchen with a red face. He could have just kept quiet. He could be sitting on the sofa with Eren in his lap right now, cuddling and shit. He wouldn't have had to argue with the roasting pan for being too small, or the sticky date pudding recipe for being stupid... but worst of all... he'd have to clean every single one of those fucking rose petals. And he'd have to sleep in a bed filled with the little bastards. Being fucking romantic was ridiculous. Worth it. But fucking ridiculous. With an uncharacteristic blush on his face, flustered to the point of clumsy and slightly lost in his own kitchen, Levi had no idea what came next... other than a tall glass of champagne.

 

*  
So... Eren had not broken up with Levi... that was unexpected. He'd tried to reject his alpha, especially over the negative tests. His blood tests had returned the same results, but each time he looked like he was going to cry, Hanji would place Anna in his hands. She really was beautiful and so adorable. Even changing nappies wasn't as horrible as he'd thought it would be... but he'd missed Levi. His omega had gone into overdrive... without going into heat. He wanted a baby. He loved Anna, and Mina had been adorable when he'd last seen her, but they weren't his own children. There was always adoption and fostering, which he'd like to do some day. If he and Levi made it through everything together. He still couldn't believe Levi would want to stay with him. He was nearly 21 and still had nightmares of it all, leaving him feeling so fucking pathetic. He'd wanted Levi to leave. He'd wanted to push him away and have him walk out on him. He'd done all he could to deny his alpha and told him the truth about things that he was sure would disgust him. So, it was some kind of miracle the he was laying in a warm bath with muscle relaxant. Levi had brought him in a glass of champagne, which tasted amazing. Their bed was covered in rose petals. The meal Levi was making smelt amazing. And the candles. It was all amazingly romantic... which was why he'd sort out his stockings and lingerie. He wasn't bothering with the corset this time, instead he intended to hide it from Levi. Under a pair of black jeans and a long sleeve shirt. Levi looked amazing. Immaculately groomed and freshly showered. Now. He wanted to look good.

Trimmed and clean, he prepped himself for his alpha. Relieved to find that his go to plug had made it back into his bathroom drawer. He didn't know when his shot would wear off... but he wanted to be intimate again. He needed it. He needed to forget what had happened and let Levi clean away those memories. He wanted him. He needed his alpha's knot and to feel Levi's warmth. Making sure he was stretched enough, the plug slid in with a gently burn. Eren biting his lip as he whined from the feeling. It wasn't horrible, but it definitely wasn't Levi. 

Walking out the bathroom, he smiled at Levi. His was alpha leaning against the kitchen bench, candles flickering and bathing him in orange light. The mood enveloping the apartment was definitely affecting him. With light steps, he walked around the counter, so he could wrap his arms around Levi. Dropping a kiss atop his alpha's hair, he breathed his Levi's scent in. After months, he still couldn't describe ever single hue. Only that Levi smelt safe. Nuzzling his cheek against Levi's hair, his boyfriend sighed softly   
"Did you enjoy your bath?"  
"It was perfect. You could have joined me"  
"Then who would have watched over dinner?"  
"Titan?"  
"He would have eaten it"  
"Mmm. I still wouldn't have minded a bath with you"  
Placing his champagne glass next to Levi's, he slid one hand to rest on Levi's stomach as he nipped on Levi's earlobe  
"Really?"  
"Mhmm. You're gorgeous"  
"And you're in a good mood"  
"Because of you. Everything is so perfect"  
"What do you think of the champagne?"  
"That you should probably keep it away from me, or it's going to disappear"  
"I changed shifts, so we've got all of tomorrow morning to recover"  
"In that case, I'd like another glass"  
Tugging on Levi's earlobe, he let his teeth slowly slide from it. Kissing the back of Levi's ear, he held Levi tighter   
"Calm down, we have all night"  
"I'm calm... I didn't mean to be in the way..."  
He didn't mean to be annoying or anything, yet he was. He'd just want to cuddle a little with his alpha, after finally coming back home  
"You're not in the way. I did however go to the effort of making dinner, so whether you're horny or not, we're eating first"  
"Who said I was horny?"  
"You were just tugging on my ear for the hell of it?"  
"Maybe"  
Levi turned in his arms, returning Eren's embrace  
"I missed you being here. In our apartment"  
"I noticed... maybe I need to stay with Hanji more often"  
"Don't you fucking dare"  
"I still don't understand how you can still want me"  
"I want you because you're you. And if you keep questioning my tastes, I'm going to have to be insulted"  
"We can't have that"  
"No. Now go sit, dinner will be done shortly"  
"Does that mean I'm pouring my own glass of champagne?"  
"No. I'll pour you a glass. I don't trust you not to take the bottle"  
"Well, I wouldn't say that I wouldn't take the bottle... but I definitely wouldn't not, if you weren't paying attention"  
"What am I going to do with you?"  
"I don't know. Get me drunk and have your way with me?"  
"You make me sound like an awful alpha"  
"I was joking"  
"Well don't. I love you. And not just because being buried in your arse feels amazing"  
"I'll take you word for it"  
Kissing Levi's forehead, Eren was happy enough that a small purr rumbled up from his throat. For now, he could at least be happy with Levi.

 

*  
Dinner went well. The sticky date pudding was a little burnt, but that was totally Eren's fault. His boyfriend had decided they needed to play footies, and some how that had morphed into Eren rubbing his foot up against Levi's half hard dick. The brat wasn't making things easy for him. Eren was alluring enough, without the scent of arousal and the intimate touches. So when dinner was done, making him wait while he stacked the dishwasher was the least he could do. He made have also needed to physically calm down a little, other wise he'd come in his pants before he even got Eren out of his.

Purposefully ignoring Eren, he didn't see as the omega climbed onto the kitchen bench, positioning himself so he faced into the kitchen. Sitting there, his boyfriend placed his feet against the rim of the marble counter, spreading his legs as he stole the second bottle of champagne from the ice. Alerted by the sound of the bottle removed, Levi rose from the dishwasher to the sight of his lover. Eren's shirt had hiked up that he could catch glimpses of lace beneath. Fuck. He didn't have a lingerie kink as such. More of an "Eren is fucking perfect and I need to stick my dick in him kink"  
"Are you quite right there, sprawling yourself over the kitchen counter like that?"  
"Yep"  
Popping the "p", Eren fluttered his eyelashes   
"But if you don't like it, maybe you should take me to bed?"  
"Maybe I should just take you here?"  
Stepping between his lover's legs, Levi ignored Eren's pouty lips and buried his face in Eren's crotch. Nuzzling, he undid the omegas jeans with a grow as Eren's scent filled his nose  
"You smell so fucking good"  
Lifting his arse, Levi was quick to pull Eren's jeans down enough to bury his face in the white lace of his lingerie   
"Fuck brat... I want to fuck you up against this counter and fill you with my pups"  
Running his thumb along the edge of Eren's lingerie, he moved it to side, feeling Eren's erection. Grasping the organ, his other hand went to Eren's hair, bending his throat back. Moving close enough for his own tenting dick to rub against his lover's, Levi made to mouth at Eren's neck, rocking hard as he claimed the flesh beneath him. Mewing, Eren's legs wrapped around his waist, Eren rocking up to meet his every move   
"Shit... Levi... need you in me... the plug... ahhh..."  
Abandoning Eren's erection, Levi worked at his belt, then button and fly of his pants. His dick throbbing like crazy with the need to fill Eren with ever drop of cum he could. Groaning as his erection was freed, his fingers slipped down between Eren's arse cheeks, finding the plug firmly nestled in his lover. Shit... he wanted to make Eren fall apart before he mounted him. Gripping the end of the plug, he pulled lightly, enough for the swell to slide and stretch Eren wide open. Arching his back, Eren threw his head back  
"Alpha..."  
Thrusting the plug back in, Eren gasped. His eyes wide as his mouth hung open   
"Like that?"  
Nodding quickly, Levi started to fuck Eren with the toy, enjoying each and every mew his boyfriend gave. Fucking him harder, Eren's rhythm against the toy began to falter  
"Come for me brat. I want to see you mess yourself"  
Eren nodded, Levi releasing his hair and palming at his own dick. Sitting up, Eren unwrapped his legs from around his waist, placing his feet back against the edge of the kitchen counter as he spread his legs wide. Jerking himself off with both hands, Eren started to whimper  
"Can't... I can't..."  
Driving the plug in as hard as he could, Eren moaned as he came hard up his chest. The thick pulsing ribbons, rushed to soak into the fabric while Eren licked his lips. Sliding the plug completely free, Eren whimpered   
"A-alpha?"  
"Shhh... I'm going to knot you"

Having sex in the kitchen was so fucking filthy. No matter how many times he thrust into Eren, he couldn't get enough and he couldn't fucking last. Having pulled him off the counter and had him bend over it, he rode Eren almost desperately, his knot semi flared, catching and stretching Eren like the plug had done. Eren's moans had simply dissolved to him clawing at the bench while repeating "alpha" on repeat. The omegas head hung forward, his nape exposed. Growling, his alpha wanted him to bite down and mark him. It would be so fucking easy. Instead, he grabbed Eren by the wrists, pulling him to stand while Eren was still pushing his arse back against him, Eren letting out a high pitched whine as he changed the angle  
"Levi... Levi... knot..."  
"You want my fucking knot?"  
Eren nodded quickly, releasing the omegas left wrist, he grabbed Eren behind the knee and lifted his leg so the omega was half "climbing" onto the counter  
"Levi... gonna come"  
Riding Eren harder, the omega clenched so tightly around him, he couldn't help but come. Growling and panting, he nipped Eren's back as his orgasm hit. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! He wanted Eren pregnant. Next month. Next month the shot would wear off. Next month he could breed Eren. Have him swollen and full. His small breasts, firm stomach... fuck... he needed it  
"Levi..."  
Releasing the skin between his teeth, he kissed the bloodied spot. That was definitely going to hurt  
"Eren?"  
"Need... to sit..."

Knotting Eren from behind would have been a great idea... if they were in bed. As it was, the way he had to carry his lover was about as unsexy as it came. Carrying him to sofa because it was closer, walking while coming confused his alpha. And his dick. The streams of come still pulsing into his boyfriend "pausing" until Eren was firmly sitting in lap, and wriggling his arse like he wanted to ride him. Sliding his hands up, he finally got Eren's shirt off of him, allowing him access to his neglected breasts. Massaging firmly, his palms rolled the omega's perky nipples beneath them. Eren's head dropping against his shoulders as groaned  
"Too much?"  
"M-more... touch them more"  
Fondling Eren's nonexistent breasts, his omega started trying to ride him, his knot tugging and jostling, causing Eren to whine, almost in distress. He couldn't make his knot deflate any faster, but he could make Eren feel even better. Releasing Eren's right breast, he took hold of his boyfriends limp penis, rolling the foreskin back and forth as he worked the crown. Eren's breath hitched with a whimper  
"Levi... let me... argh... mmm... need... need you. Feel... like I'm melting"

When Levi's knot deflated enough for Eren to move, his lover let out a snarl. Turning in his lap, Eren's hands grabbed his face, forcing a hard kiss to his mouth as he rode him. Drunk on pheromones, he didn't notice the shift in Eren's. All he could focus on was his lover bouncing and fucking himself as the pool of heat started filling in his belly. This was his omega. Breaking the kiss, Eren arched back, Levi's hands on his hips were the only thing stopping Eren from falling backwards. Despite the omega's insistence, having come once, he knew his second knot wouldn't hit for a few more minutes. Lifting Eren, he growled again, leaning forward he bit down into Levi's shoulder. The alpha snarling in response. "Marching" the best he could, he carried Eren into their room, Eren's thighs shaking as he tried to hold onto him, while Levi tried to lay him out on their bed. Sliding out, Eren quickly moved backwards, making space for Levi to climb back between his legs and push back in. Eren was fucking sopping wet. Slick driven out and down Levi's balls and thighs. His neatly trimmed pubes soaked wet with it. When he took too long to start moving, Eren started to clumsily riding him from beneath him. Growling in warning, his hands grabbed Eren's, pushing them down against the bed. Only Eren could drive him crazy like this. Only Eren made him lose control and lose himself. His disgust at all things dirty meant he preferred fucking with a condom, but with Eren, he couldn't wait to spend himself in eager lover. Using his knees to hold Eren's legs apart, he fucked him over and over until his knot finally flared again. Limply, Eren came with a whine. The tiniest traces of come dribbling from his penis. Releasing his hold on Eren's hands, he gathered him up, rolling them so Eren was resting along his chest. Nuzzling into his boyfriends sweaty hair, he panted against him. His heart was racing, yet, his mind was clear. Tilting his neck, he exposed it for his omega. With shaking hands, he guided Eren's face to the crook of his shoulder. Hoping like fuck that Eren would get it, he winced as Eren bit solidly. It wasn't a true bond, he wouldn't do that to Eren just yet... Eren's mark was his to give, but Levi wasn't going to force his on the omega. Not expecting the wave of pleasure and happiness, the wave of acceptance and understanding. Tears formed in his eyes, he'd never felt anything like this. This kind of pure love that only Eren could gift.... he also didn't expect the orgasm that tore through him, while he was still coming. Letting out a kind of whimpered groan, he wrapped his arms around his lover. Slowly, Eren pulled his teeth from flesh, lapping at his spilling blood. He'd have to dress the open wound later. The human mouth was fucking disgusting and despite how cute bonding was, there were also a hell of a lot of infections that came with it. When Eren's strong lapping turned to small kitten licks, he knew his omega was on the verge of falling asleep. Given he was still firmly knotted, he grabbed the edge of the top blanket, pulling it over them to cover Eren the best he could. Tears still continued to leak from the old alpha's eyes. He now wore Eren's mark... he belonged to Eren long before today, yet, now... he wore his mates mark with pride.

Love drunk. Champagne drunk and bonding mark drunk, Levi only left the bed long enough to blow out all the candles and release Titan, closing the door to his room though. Lifting Eren, he moved him under the covers, and crawled up behind him. His dick already thick and hard as he nudged between his lover's cheeks, pushing back, Eren was mostly asleep, but the moment Levi was fully sheathed, Eren started moaning. He wasn't sure what had gotten into him, only that he needed more.

 

*  
Waking the following morning, Levi found himself still inside Eren. His boyfriend's stomach felt swollen beneath him, though that may have been thanks to erection acting like a plug of sorts. It hadn't prevented some of the slick and semen from running out of Eren's abused opening. Though, from the feel of it, and his own selfish desires, Eren felt swollen. In the light of the morning, his boyfriend was beautiful. His hair a mess as he slept, while trying to ride him in his sleep... it was also now that Levi smelt faint traces that seemed to say Eren was in heat. No wonder he was still so fucking hard. He had no idea how many times he'd knotted Eren last night. He only knew that his dick was tender as fuck, and he'd woken up just in time to make his boyfriend come against his wrist. Levi must have come in his sleep, as his knot was firmly trapped. As far as wake-ups went, riding out the feeling of coming inside his lover... yeah... that was up there. With a slight wince, leaned up to kiss Eren's shoulder. Eren letting out a sleepy hum  
"You awake?"  
"Mmm"  
"How do you feel?"  
"Sleepy"  
"Eren?"  
"Shh... cuddle me... 'nd rub my tummy"  
Levi kissed Eren's shoulder again. The omega was so fucking adorable. Starting to rub Eren's stomach, Eren let out a happy purr...  
"Mmm... feels good... want your pups so bad..."  
Levi was momentarily choked up by Eren's words. He felt like shit knowing Eren's shot was a 6 month shot  
"Soon, my love. Soon"  
Wriggling back against him, Eren sleeping slurred  
"' hope so... love you, Lee"

Falling back to sleep, Levi was woken by Eren next time. The omega crawling over him to escape their bed  
"Eren?"  
"Bathroom"  
Gracelessly, Eren fell. The omega whining as he did. Rushing from their bed, Levi lifted him. His eyes immediately going to the definite swell  
"Can't feel my legs"  
"I've got you..."  
"I think... I have a heat... I'm too tired to brain"  
"You feel warm... and there's traces in the air. I don't feel my rut hitting yet... I'll get everything organised before I go"  
Eren's let out a whine of distress. Forcing himself to ignore it, Levi carried Eren into the bathroom and sat him down on the toilet   
"Hey. We talked about this. I thought we agreed we weren't ready to share your heat together"  
Bursting into tears, Levi was taken back  
"Eren?"  
"I know! But I don't want you to go!"  
His poor boyfriends hormones must have kicked in. His omega probably thought he was abandoning them, even after Eren marked his neck  
"Shhh. Hey. I'm here. We can talk on the phone... like we did... you're not going to be alone. I just don't want to rush you"  
"I know. You're so good to me. So good... I'm just scared"  
Wrapping his arms around his stomach, Eren's frame seemed to fold in on its self   
"I won't leave you until I know you're safe and won't run out of supplies"  
"What... what if it hurts? I can feel it building"  
"I'll be on the phone with you. You can tell me whatever you're feeling. I just can't be here, or I might hurt you"  
"Y-you wouldn't"  
"Eren, I know you're courageous. You're so brave, smart and beautiful. But can you spent a whole heat having sex like last night?"  
Eren looked him in the eyes sadly, before shaking his head  
"See. It's ok. We're still working up towards it. And, you marked me last night. See, right here? I'm wearing your mark. I'm your alpha"  
Eren's hand went to his own neck, letting out a tiny hiccup when he found no mark  
"Shhh... you're ok... you're ok. Let's get you cleaned up, then we'll get you into something soft that won't irritate your skin. You need lots of rest"  
It wasn't ideal that Eren was in heat, and with his bonding mark on Levi's neck, Levi didn't want to leave. But the way Eren was so scared... he couldn't stay. Even if his rut would hurt like a bitch. He couldn't hurt Eren like that. His lover just wasn't ready for the demands of an alpha in rut, while he was in heat. Eren had only just come home. He wouldn't risk everything all over again. 

Letting Eren fall asleep in his garter skirt and stockings had been a terrible idea. Like the thong his boyfriend had been wearing, they were both torn and ruined... both of them over indulging in each other's bodies. Bites, bruises and scratches littered Levi's skin, and he'd given Eren just as good. It sucked that he couldn't stay to admire his handiwork. Even as he helped Eren showered and cleaned his cum from his lover, all he wanted to do was mount Eren again. Instead, he had to settle for using his fingers to get Eren off, and "tricking" his omega with four fingers in the place of a knot, just to calm the fire burning in Eren's belly. For his part, Eren was a shaking mess. He couldn't stop apologising, especially when he could see aroused Levi was. He could barely hold down his alpha, but the thought of losing Eren was enough to help keep it chained in the back of his mind.

He wanted Eren to sleep in fresh sheets, despite the mess his heat would make. Having hit during the night, and having been soothed by fucking like rabbits, Eren was in a lull. Levi was sure by the way Eren curled in on himself, that this wasn't going to be a particularly nice heat, so left their blankets piled in the corner of the room after their bed was remade. His own rut was finally forming, and if he didn't leave soon, he wouldn't be getting out that door. Despite how disgusted he was, he still stole a blanket for himself. Just the one though, Eren's second favourite green fake fur thing. Eren's comfort was far more important. If Eren needed to use them, they were there. On their bed, he'd attempted to make his love a nest. Eren didn't know how to nest properly, and despite being an alpha, Levi wanted him to experience the comfort they could bring. He also retrieved a few bottles of water and Eren's stack of snacks, stacking them on the side of the nest, next to the box of toys.

By the time he was done, Eren was whimpering on the sofa. His wide green eyes filled with pain as he tried to deny his heat. Walking over to his brat, he lifted him from sofa and returned him to their bed. Whining weakly, Eren's grabbed his wrist   
"L-Levi..."  
"I know. I know omega... shhh..."  
"I... hurt"  
"I know you do. But I can't stay... I want to, but you're not ready for me"  
"I'll be good"  
"Eren, you are always good. Once I get to Erwin's, I'll call. Ok"  
Eren gave a growl at Erwin's name  
"Are you jealous?"  
"You're supposed to be my alpha and you're leaving me for him!"  
Regret washed over Eren's face immediately   
"I didn't..."  
"I know. Your emotions are a mix. It wouldn't be this bad if I'd noticed earlier. Try and get some sleep for me"  
"I can't... I feel empty"  
Eren starting to get grabby. He needed to leave  
"Then use your toys. There's nothing wrong or dirty about it"  
"I want you!"

Prying Eren's fingers off him, Levi fled. Grabbing Eren's backpack, which he'd stuffed the blanket and his phone into, and grabbing Titan without his carrier, Levi barely remembered to grab his keys before leaving Eren. Unexpectedly, his own tears came to his eyes. A fresh sense of guilt rolling through his guts, like a wave riding his rut. He was leaving Eren alone and vulnerable... again.

 

*  
Eren's heat had been awful, so far. Awful to the point he'd started bleeding. His body burned, his nose bled so much it looked like someone had been murdered in Levi's bed, the cramps in his stomach felt like he'd chugged three litres of off milk. His dick felt literally broken, every time he's grow erect, he was reduced to tears. He'd wailed like an idiot on the phone to Levi... and he was fucking terrified the whole time. Falling asleep and waking up without Levi... he needed him. Levi had talked to him for most of the day after he'd left, he'd gotten him up to make sure the door was locked. Reassuring him he as coming home, and that he was there for him. His sulking omega hadn't wanted to lock the door, purely to be spiteful towards their alpha. 

When his nose started bleeding for the second time, his emotional state couldn't take it. He needed Levi home. Calling his alpha, he was a sobbing mess. The more he tried to stop his nose, the more blood got over his hands and fingers. He didn't even know if Levi could understand him, only that his boyfriend was really worried. His omega took that as a sign that he should be even more worried. Promising he was on his way, Eren discarded his phone. He needed to get the door bolt and chain undone... and get his fucking legs to work. 

Unlocking the door, Eren then stumbled through to the bathroom. He needed to calm down, and he needed to clean up. Flopping into the bath, he cranked the cold... which was way too cold. The shock sending him clawing as he tried to escape it. Fuck. Levi couldn't get home fast enough. Despite what his body may think, he wasn't made for having heats. This was it. He was stuck in the freezing water. In danger of freezing his junk off before Levi arrived to save him, he was Eren Yeager, a soon to be 21 year old male omega... bested by his heat, a nose bleed and a bath...

 

*  
Levi wasn't sure coming home before Eren's heat had passed was a good idea, but his omega had been hysterical. Levi's own rut hadn't been great, yet having Eren's mark had helped. Erwin was quick to point out the lack of proper wound after care, and nearly had his fingers for trying to touch. He was filled with pride each time he saw the mark, and he wasn't letting Fucking-Shitty-Eyebrows Erwin, near it. Leaving the blanket and Titan at the fellow alpha's, his mind really wasn't on driving, but on the throbbing numbness seeping through his heavy hips. His dick aching to be freed from the right confines of his jeans. His alpha excited to be returning to their omega, even if he didn't know what exactly was wrong. Eren had said something about a blood nose, but was so distressed that whatever he was trying to tell him didn't translate.

Letting himself into their apartment, Levi growled. His boyfriend smelt fucking incredible... other than the hints of blood in the air. Locking the door behind him, he stripped as he walked to their bedroom. His eyes widening at the mess across the pillows. Eren had said something about a blood nose, not about committing murder in their bed. There was no way that much blood came from a one off blood nose  
"Eren?!"  
A weak call answered his yell  
"Here..."  
Backtracking to the bathroom, Eren was in the bathtub. His eyes filled with misery   
"Eren... what happened?"  
"Stuck... help"  
Sidestepping to turn the tap off, he frowned at how badly Eren was shaking. Leaning over to lift him from the bath, Eren was freezing. His lips tinged blue, with dried blood crusted face  
"How many blood noses have you had?"  
"T-two... was so hot"  
Two. No way was that two  
"Ok. Let's get you cleaned up?"  
"Levi... heats suck. I feel dizzy"  
"So do ruts"  
Eren buried his face against his neck, his teeth going to mark he'd given him. He didn't know what comfort he was getting from sucking on the mark, but if he needed that, he wouldn't deny him.

Getting Eren out his soaked sweats and dried off, he didn't bother with clothes for his lover. Eren was already hard again, another wave of heat setting in for his already overwhelmed omega. Forcing himself not to pin himself and fuck him senseless, like he wanted, looking after Eren came first. It was the second last day of Eren's heat, so as long as he kept Eren close, they should be able to ride out the tail end of it together. Returning with panadol, one of Hanji's travel sedatives, and warm cloth, Eren blinked up at him sadly  
"It hurts"  
"I know. I'm here, I'm not leaving. Is that ok?"  
"I can't do this... it hurts"  
Getting Eren to take the panadol, he was little shit. He didn't want to take the pills, or water. His legs parting instead. Stripping down, he climbed into Eren's bed, manhandling him into his lap, and passing the panadol, sedative, and water over to Eren in a kiss. The omega drinking the sour mix down, before whining at him with a wince   
"Traitor"  
"It'll help with the pain and fatigue"  
"So will your fucking knot"  
"Have you eaten?"  
"Levi..."  
"You called me because you were in pain. I'm going to look after you, not just fuck you"  
"Can't you do both?"  
"You're exhausted. You need rest"  
Starting to cry, Eren slumped off him with a whimper, curling up as his whole body shook with developing sobs  
"Eren"  
"No... you don't want me"  
"Brat... hey. I want you. I just need to make sure you're alright"  
"It hurts... the cramping hurts... nothing helps"  
Even if Eren wanted him to knot him, he was too tired. His emotions too out of control to be able a rutting alpha. For now it would be better to slowly bring Eren to orgasm, then have him sleep. Once he woke, Levi would get him to eat, then fuck. Sliding down behind him, Levi buried his face against Eren's arse. Eren moaning the moment his tongue ran over his opening. Carefully and slowly, while ignoring his own needs, he opened Eren with his tongue, before beginning to milk his lover's sweet spot with his fingertips. Bringing Eren to orgasm, he was asleep within seconds. Wiping his face with his hands, and making sure to drink down every drop of Eren's slick, he left the bedroom to take care of his own dick. Eren was right. Heats were awful... and he had no idea how he was keeping his head during this rut.

Levi's pillows were ruined by blood. No amount of of cold water and salt was lifting that staining. Blood was mixed with slick and cum, having soaked through their sheets and down to the waterproof mattress protector. Separating out everything into piles by staining, the worst stuff went straight into the machine, with too much Napisan. The rest of it could wait. He needed to get back to Eren's side before he woke. If Eren's heats were affected by his emotional state, then being in a loving relationship should gradually bring them back into line. This heat was most probably caused by him not being pregnant. Maybe with the mental changes and now he'd open up about the past, they'd be able to find a suppressant that gave Eren some kind of relief. 

 

Eren had had another blood nose during the night. Not ideal to wake up to when you'd fallen asleep after losing count of the number of times he'd made Eren come for him. It'd been so bad Levi was tossing up on taking him to hospital. A cool bath had served to lower Eren's core temperature, but it wasn't a magical cure to anemia, and after those kinds of bleeds, his lover had to be anemic. Exhausted and unable to cope with anything, Eren clung to him. Levi not even able to leave the room without him starting to cry. He'd tried getting Eren to eat and drink, but again, he wasn't able to cope with it. He'd spilt water in Levi's lap, and had a panic attack over it. Whatever last illusions of heat being "sexy" were shattered. Messaging Mike the situation, he was relieved his friend agreed to come see Eren at their apartment, rather than telling him to bring him down to the hospital. Once Eren came through all of this, they'd have to talk about his heats again. This was completely cruel and unfair for his sweet omega to deal with.


	43. Chapter 43

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think ya'all getting this before tumblr...

Eren made it through Anna's christening and his birthday in one piece. His post heat blues still lingering, leaving him a sobbing mess as he proudly held his Goddaughter. Erwin was named her second Godfather, but Eren didn't care. He got to cuddle her as much as he liked and she adored the attention. Levi was very attentive to his needs as well. His frayed nerves, coming out of heat, meant this his lover had called Mike to come help him at the apartment, rather than forcing him to go to hospital. Mike had been sympathetic, letting Levi set him up with the saline bag he'd brought with him, and more or less watching over Levi as he gave him a check-up. Given iron supplements to help with the anemia from the nose bleeds, he was warned that if he had another bad nosebleed, Mike wanted him to come in. Thankfully, he hadn't.

Because his birthday was during his post heat, Anna's christening was the only thing they had planned. He'd already talked to Hanji about it, and had been made to promise he'd come spend a little time with her again, once his mood had lifted. Levi had surprised him with tickets to the Charity Ball, and a promise of day out once his post heat had passed. From what Eren could remember, it was the same Ball Petra had forced on Levi last year. It wasn't Levi's scene, but his alpha had promised he'd love it, and to dance with him. So it was acting as a kind of light at the end of the tunnel. He just had to hold out a little longer.

 

*  
Levi had had a shit day at work. He couldn't take time off to be there the whole time Eren went through his post heat depression, which left him bitter enough as it was. What he fucking hated though, was being called out on a fucking prank. It was a waste of fucking time and resources, and maybe because he'd rejected Petra's invitation to this years Charity Ball, she bounced the call through to them like she took some joy in sending them on a nearly hour long trip to nowhere. It was the fucking boons. Erwin was in high spirits, teasing him about leaving Titan behind to rush home to Eren, though that had faded into annoyance rivalling his own when they arrived to find absolutely nothing. No stabbing victim. No fighting. No one even home at the residence... which looked like it'd been abandoned for some time. Levi let Erwin call it through to Petra, the address would be flagged and marked in case of future calls. Irritated, he grabbed his phone off the dash. Erwin raising an eyebrow  
"Calling Eren?"  
"After this fuck around, I need to let him know I'll be home late"  
"How's he doing?"  
Levi rolled his eyes  
"You saw him at Anna's christening"  
"He was post heat"  
"He still is. It should be gone tomorrow, or the day after"  
"Mike said his heat had been rough"  
"Since when do you and Mike talk about my omega?"  
"Since you leave a stinking blanket in my spare room"  
"Fuck. You could have washed it and returned it. Its Eren's second favourite"  
Erwin laughed   
"Who would have thought you'd care about favourite and second favourite blankets?"  
"I have no idea about blankets. That's Eren's Department. I just know that the green furry thing is his second favourite"  
"The word you want it "Mink". It's a mink blanket"  
"Oh, fuck off. It's furry, but not as furry as the blue one. He's lucky I know how to get stains out"  
Erwin snorted, making Levi roll his eyes again  
"Get your head out of the gutter. He over heated during his heat and got blood all over it. Killed both the pillows too"  
"Damn"  
"Yeah. Eren doesn't do blood at the best of times. He's not one to run away, but I could see why he was freaking out. Anyway, shut up"

Eren was sleeping when he called, his boyfriend mumbling something he thought was intelligible, and even if Levi couldn't work out what he was saying, he was sure it was adorable. A sleepy Eren was adorable. Explaining carefully he'd be late home, his boyfriend gave a heavy sigh, before mumbling he understood and hanging up. He was probably in this shit but there wasn't anything he could do about it. People were wankers.

Over the next couple of days, they were called out to another three pranks, while Eld and Gunther also had the same issue. They couldn't ignore the calls, not on the off chance that someone actually needed help. By the time the Charity Ball rolled around, he was done. He didn't want to go. Even though he'd promised Eren. Taking Eren out shopping for something to wear, he'd upset his omega by not paying attention when Eren wanted to know. His boyfriend simply enquiring what was and wasn't ok to do, and what was and wasn't ok wear. The cherry on top being when he'd snapped. Eren throwing his three dress selections at him, before storming out the store. He didn't even notice they'd changed stores, or that Eren had suggested wearing a dress... he didn't mean to bring his work home with him... and heading out after his shift was a shit idea. He was just so done... awkwardly paying for Eren's three selections, he trailed out of the store, looking for his love. Eren was sitting on a bench a little way away from the store. He needed to explain things. 

Wandering down to where Eren was sitting, Eren turned away from him as he sat. Yep. He was in the shit  
"Eren. Look. I'm sorry, ok"  
"No"  
"We've been prank calls at work, and I guess we're all feeling annoyed over it. I didn't mean to bring my shit day home with me"  
"Levi. You don't even want to go. What are we even doing here?"  
"I..."  
"You what? I don't know any of these people and the ones who do know me, think I'm either a whore for being a stripper, or a basket case for being there while my brother died"  
"No one thinks that"  
"You don't need to fucking lie. I'm nervous and I asked you what I should do, and you couldn't even give me a reply. If you don't want to go. Then there's no point going"  
"I want to go, because I know you'll enjoy it"  
"How am I supposed to enjoy it? Not when you don't want to be there"  
"Eren, the whole point of going is to drink some expensive alcohol and dance. I don't usually dance, and I'm usually avoiding Petra, because she somehow can't get it through her head that I'm gay. But I bought those tickets because I wanted to go with you. I want to show off my boyfriend"  
Eren sighed, an angry pout on his lips as he turned to him   
"You're not allowed to leave me alone. I cannot fend for myself against your friends. And no Petra. Or Olou"  
"I won't let Petra and Olou near you"  
"Do you promise?"  
"I promise I'll try my hardest not to let you get trapped by them"  
"And don't leave me with Erwin either, or his friends"  
"Eren, do you just hate all our work friends?"  
"I don't hate them. I just don't know them. I'm fucking terrified of fucking this up and embarrassing you. Or saying the wrong thing. I'm a freak as it is. That's why I need you to tell me the do's and don't's of this. Fuck. Just take me home"  
"You're not a freak and you're not going to fuck up. Eld and Gunther don't mind you, neither does Mike, he'll be there. You've met Marcel, he and his mate will probably be there. So will Erwin, he might even dance with you, though he will step on your feet. You've met Rico and Nanaba before, even if you don't remember them"  
Eren still looked angry  
"I'm sorry. Ok. So please, let me take you out for a night of drinks we don't have to pay for, and bad dancing"  
"And I want a new blanket. My green one is missing"  
"It's at Erwin's. I took it for my rut"  
Eren sighed  
"What? Is something wrong with that?"  
"No. I just really liked that blanket"  
"And you'll get it back. Let's just go home. I'll let you use my credit card to buy whatever blanket you want"  
"It won't be the same"  
"What does that mean?"  
"It means that I really liked that blanket"  
He didn't get the blanket issue. Erwin would wash and return it. Then it could go back into the small colony blankets they'd collected... maybe he could just slip it back in, and all would be forgiven? It wasn't like Eren didn't change his mind about his favourites with no consultation... Omegas... he feared he would never understand them.

 

*  
Eren didn't want to wear a dress. He'd just dragged Levi into the store because it felt like he was supposed to. He didn't know any of Levi's friends that were male omegas, and was certain that outside him and Marco, there weren't any in Levi's life. That's why he felt dressing like a girl would probably go over better. He'd been trying to ask him all about this, only for Levi to either hum, or reply with "yeah". He didn't understand why Levi didn't understand why this was such a big thing for him. He took up all his alpha's time. Levi never went out for drinks with his friends, other than Erwin. He felt selfish. And what was worse, Levi wore his mark and hadn't said anything about marking him back... Levi was even calling him his mate. But how could he be his mate, without the mark he so desperately wanted? Why had Levi let him mark him? He didn't understand, and each time his boyfriend called him his mate... really fucking hurt. Tonight was just going to make it worse. He didn't want to be near Levi's friends, because Levi's friends would see he wasn't marked back. That he... that his alpha didn't love him as much he loved him.

Feeling like an idiot, Eren did his hair and makeup, a shimmering dark green eyeshadow, with black wingtips. His dress just as deep, green in a certain light, and black in another. It hugged the lines of his hips and thighs, while the top ruffled hid his lack of cleavage. Pairing it with silver accessories, he hoped he didn't look too stupid... and that his dress wasn't too short. He could bend over and not show his boxer briefs... which meant it had to be acceptable? This would have been easier if Levi just told him what the fuck to wear, and not fobbed him off with "Just wear what you want to, you'll look beautiful either way". Well looking beautiful didn't just fucking happen. It took tucking, plucking, shaving and styling.

Levi had dressed in a plain black suit, with a white shirt and a dark green tie. See. His alpha looked good. Fuck. He should have just worn a suit. Was it too late to head back in? He could change... he should change. Stepping back into the bathroom, Levi caught him before he could flee  
"Where are you going?"  
"I'm changing"  
"You just spent two hours in there. We need to go"  
"I look stupid!"  
"I'm sure you look fine"  
He didn't want to look fine. Fine was a nice pair of jeans and a shirt. He wanted to look good   
"I look stupid"  
"Then you'll look as good as I do. Get out here"  
"I look stupid because you didn't tell me what to wear"  
"Eren, we're going to be late"  
"Let me just..."  
"Get out here. At least let me see"

Walking out, he knew he looked stupid. He felt stupid. Climbing to his feet, Levi looked him up and down  
"I knew it. I look fucking stupid"  
Levi cleared his throat  
"What? No. No. Just the opposite. Look perfect"  
"I think I look stupid"  
"You definitely don't. I don't know if I want to let you out, looking like that"  
"I... I'll change"  
"Eren, you look amazing"  
"I'm a guy in a dress"  
"And? So? Is there something wrong with that?"  
"People don't usually approve"  
"They're wrong. You look great, and we need to leave. We'll be late otherwise"  
"I feel stupid"  
"You're not stupid. You don't look stupid. Every single person there is going to wish they looked as good as you do"  
Yeah. Well. As long as "Marcel" wasn't there with his boyfriend, he might be able to salvage the night. Levi didn't seem to be in such a shit mood anymore  
"Fine. The dress stays on"  
"For now"  
Eren huffed. He didn't feel sexy or comfortable... he didn't know why Levi would want him out of it... He would never understand alphas.

 

Having called a taxi, so they could both drink, Eren managed to make it out the back of it without flashing anyone. He'd though the Ball would be at some kind of club building or something. Not in a huge grand scale glass building that seemed to soar all the way up to heaven   
"Impressive, isn't it?"  
"Not what I was expecting"  
"It was delayed this year, purely because the place was still under construction. Erwin's already inside, he's saved our seats"  
"There's seats?"  
"It's a charity ball, but there's also a silent auction and guest speaker thing. Don't worry, you can drink through the whole thing"  
"Are you encouraging me to drink?"  
"I'm encouraging you, as we didn't do anything for your twenty first"  
"Which was like a whole week ago. I'm fine. We survived it. I didn't want anything, and I got to see Anna"  
"Anna or not, you barely touched your birthday cake"  
Levi had made him more of a birthday muffin, because smells had been making him sick. Both of them were paranoid about setting his nose of again, especially before the christening. His nose had bled that night, but only for a few minutes... still, it'd been enough to scare him. He didn't care they didn't do anything, like going clubbing. It was safer inside. He got to cuddle with Levi and cuddle with Anna, and he was legally Anna's Godfather now  
"Levi. It's fine. Seriously. I'm still not used to having good birthdays, it would have been too much. Can we head inside now? My butt's freezing"  
"Sure. Let me help you up the stairs"

Taking his hand, Levi lead him around like he was a fancy lady from a movie. He didn't just hold his hand, instead he glowed with a confidence, as he really was showing him off. Presenting their two tickets, Levi lead him into the main fiction room. Eren's eyes widened, it was amazing. There was so much glass and rose gold, that he didn't know where to look. It was incredible. For someone coming from a dirty strip club, he'd never thought he'd step foot in somewhere like here  
"Holy fuck"  
"Our table is 32. Don't worry about the smells, they use scent cancellers to keep everyone calm"  
"Levi. You didn't tell me there were going to be this many people!"  
"It's a Charity Ball slash Gala. It's not my fault people want to come to these things. Here, let's find our seats?"  
"I think I'm going to fucking face plant"  
"If you do, I promise to step over and you walk away like I don't know you"  
"What? No"  
"There are probably 60 plus medically trained personal here. Not including specialists. You'll be fighting them off"  
"Don't you dare leave my side, or let me fall"  
"Relax, you know I won't"

Led through to their table, Erwin was already there. As were Petra, Olou, Mike, Eld and Gunther. It looked like they had a full table, which was a relief. Sitting the back "corner", Levi crossed his arms, while Eren took the seat next to him. Accidentally meeting eyes with Petra, he swallowed hard. She was already pouting. It wasn't his fault that Levi chose him, and the didn't have the parts to get him excited   
"Eren, you look lovely"  
"Thanks, Erwin. I don't know I feel lovely. There's way too many people"  
Erwin laughed a little too politely  
"I know those feelings. Levi's already taken up his usual position. He always hides himself"  
"That's because I don't want to have to talk anymore than I absolutely have to"  
See. He knew Levi wouldn't want to be here...  
"Eld, Gunther. You both remember Eren don't you? He's Levi's mate"  
Gunther reached across the table to shake his hand  
"We do, but Erwin always insists of introducing everyone to everyone else like it's his job"  
Awkwardly shaking Eld's as well, he was happy Olou and Petra didn't try playing nice  
"We've heard a lot about the omega that marked Levi. He's not this grumpy at home, is he?"  
"No. Not always. He said he was up for dancing tonight"  
Eld and Gunther both laughed  
"Eren's my mate. Of course I don't mind dancing with him"  
"Eren's your mate? I don't see a mark"  
Petra somehow always knew where to strike   
"You should see it. Eren gave Levi quite the impressive mark"  
Coming past their table, Erwin called a waiter over. Ordering drinks for them all, Erwin assured him that once the formalities were done there was an open bar. Thank fuck for that  
"Levi was the one who wanted the bonding mark. I should have covered it with concealer"  
"It's my mark, I don't care who sees. It's not like I don't plan to marry Eren"  
Petra paled. The look of horrified realisation setting in. She was never going to win Levi's affections and now she would have to sit across from them all night. If only Petra had taken "no" as an answer from the beginning, she could have found her own happiness sooner.

Sitting through speech after speech, Eren politely clapped when everyone else did. He had absolutely no idea what they were talking about, and Levi was too busy ignoring their surround to tell him. It was kind of amazing people paid for the opportunity to come to this. Once the speeches were over, it was like a wind had blown through the whole place. The mood changing in an instant. Leaning forward in his seat, Levi nudged his elbow with his  
"Want to go take a look around?"  
"You sure? You look pretty bored"  
"Speeches are boring as shit"  
"Ok. I supposed I need another drink"  
His drink had disappeared all too fast, even though he'd only slowly slipped at it  
"I never thought I'd see the day Levi actually enjoyed one of these things. Make sure you to stay out of trouble"  
Levi ignored Erwin, taking Eren's hand and "helping" him stand.

They did a wide loop of the function room. The art on display was part of the charity auction. A small box under each, with a fancy looking notebook thing for people to write their names, numbers and bid. Eren wondered if there was something wrong with him, because he found none of this appealing. Levi thought the same. Picking up on his thoughts, his boyfriend started picking each apart. It was so much more fun doing that, than trying to interrupt it. Stopping by the bar, they ran into a few people Levi knew. Eren's stomach rolling and clenching at the way Levi kept introducing him as his mate. Their eyes kept going to his neck, only to find no bonding mark. It seemed like Levi knew half the people at bar, all wanting to talk to him. It was probably close to an hour before they continued on, starting to pick apart the art on the other side. By the time they reached their table again, Eren shoes were pinching, blisters forming on his feet... just like those idiots at the New Year's party. He'd tried wearing bandaids, but they'd been rolled down by the backs of his shoes. Sitting down in the closest seat, his hand immediately went down to fiddle with the straps  
"Everything alright?"  
"Yeah. It's fine. I just need to use the bathroom"  
"You should have said. I would have taken you"  
Leaning back, Eren kissed Levi's cheek. His alpha moving his chair forward enough to slide his hand to rest on Eren's side  
"It's fine. I need to adjust the straps on my shoes. I've already got bandaids on, and don't feel like showing the world my underwear"  
"I don't mind..."  
"Levi, seriously. It's ok"  
He hadn't seen Reiner or Bertholdt, which he hoped meant the pair wasn't here. They'd done a lap of the room, he would have seen them  
"If you're that worried, I would love another drink"  
Levi huffed, as if annoyed. Though Eren knew he wasn't. Besides, if Levi headed back to the bar, he might run into more people that he knew and had been neglecting  
"Fine. Just make sure you take your phone"  
"I will. It's just a quick trip to redo the straps"

Eren got lost in the labyrinth of white walls and art. At least he knew he was in an art gallery or museum of some sort, now. Not just a huge and pointless building. The art and sculptures outside of the function room, were so much more than interesting. Respectfully keeping on the right side of the corded barriers, he finally found the bathrooms. They were just as incredible as the function room, even though the taps were truly hideous. Matte black with rose gold accents. Yeah.... they were definitely wrong for the space. Or any space. Whoever designed them should be smacked over the head with a frypan, or locked in a room with his hideous creation. Rushing into the first available stall, he collapsed down and started wrestling with his straps. Moaning as his feet were freed. Placing both of them together and stretching his toes to point at the door, he snapped a photo of his feet. Sending it through to his boyfriend so Levi knew he made it to the bathroom and would be back soon. Hopefully when he returned, other people would be dancing and Levi would whisk him away to dance... maybe his alpha would even let dance barefoot. He wasn't particularly attached to the heals he was wearing, and his boyfriend really hated people dancing in stupid shoes.

With his feet redbandaided, Eren slipped his shoes back on. Opening the bathroom door, he reeled back in panic. Reiner and Bertholdt were both standing there. Smirks playing on their lips as he Eren nearly fell into the toilet backwards  
"Eren. We really need to stop meeting this way"  
His heart was racing. Facing Bertholdt had been bad enough, but now Reiner was right there next to him  
"W-what do you want?"  
"We want to know why you did it..."  
"What? Did what?"  
"Why you talked. Thanks to you, a certain dog of the police has been making trouble for us"  
"I didn't tell the police anything"  
"Maybe not. But you told that alpha of yours"  
"Wha... Levi doesn't know anything"  
"So you didn't tell him about the knife or Zeke's shirt?"  
"N-no"  
"You know, when you lie, you're only making things worse for yourself"  
"Levi doesn't know anything"  
Reiner chuckled, shaking his head while Bertholdt stood taller  
"We know Levi gave the knife and shirt to Floch... what we can't figure out, is why you suddenly mean so little to him. After all, you begged us to save Levi... instead of saving your poor brother"  
Eren was thrown further off kilter by Bertholdt's words. He didn't know what the alpha was talking about   
"You're the one who killed Zeke! You're the ones who stabbed him to death!"  
"No, Eren. You're the one who killed Zeke. Oh! Ho! I don't think he remembers"  
"How can you not remember killing your own brother?"  
"He was high... man, the way he screamed for Levi... I think he loved the drugs as much as the sex"  
"I don't know what you're talking about! Please. Levi doesn't know anything. The police don't know anything!"  
"You don't remember? The blade at Zeke's throat? We gave you a choice. Zeke or Levi... and you chose Levi. You let Zeke die"  
"No! No, I didn't! You promised if I let them touch me... you promised they all be safe"  
Bertholdt let out a laugh that hurt his ears  
"Eren, do you really think you have that kind of value? Any kind of value? Why do you think Levi let you mark him? You're just convenient"  
"Levi's different! Levi loves me!"  
"No one could ever love you. Not with that bastard's blood in your veins"  
Eren's heart felt like it would burst from his chest. His thoughts just as messed up as his emotions. What Bertholdt was saying, it made no sense   
"Even Zeke saw you had no value. No value outside of paying his debts and lining his pockets. Why do you think he kept you around? Floch wasn't wrong when he told you it was for the money"  
"No..."  
"He groomed you. Made you rely only on him. Treated you like a joke, because you are one. If only they'd killed you that night. That night they killed your mother... but it's too late to change that now"  
"Fuck! What do you want from me?! What the fuck did I ever do to you?! Nothing! I didn't do anything!"  
"Your family did. Your father is the cause of all this, but he was too valuable to just kill. No. We needed him. What we didn't need was that wife of his, or his bastard sons!"  
"Mum died because of him! I was kept like an animal! I was fed from a fucking dog bowl! I've paid for being his son!"  
"And until you pay with your life, you'll keep paying. That favours coming Eren. Coming sooner than you think, and when you see what it's going to cost you... you might just wish you'd died next to Zeke"

This conversation had to have taken a while. Levi would come looking for him. He'd come looking for him if he didn't return soon... he needed to buy time. He needed to figure out what to do. What... no. Levi had handed the shirt over... that's what they'd said... the shirt and the knife... the police had his confession... no... shit... fuck. Fuck. He had to believe Levi wouldn't betray him like that. It was like the phone. They were messing with his head  
"You can't hurt me. If I disappear, the police will find out everything"  
"From who? Who's going to care you're gone? The alpha who lied to you? Who wouldn't give you his mark? Who takes you to bed to fuck you, then runs to the police the first chance he gets? Or how about those sweet childhood friends of yours. Armin and Mikasa. You know, Armin is way too trusting. All we had to do was let slip how we were great friends of yours... people always believe what they want to believe, even when the truth is right in front of them. The truth is, you're going to pay for what you've done, and you're going to die. Then Levi's going to die. After that, well, I guess we'll just pick them all off one by one"

With a feral snarl, Eren rushed Bertholdt. He was completely out of his league and was savagely slammed down against the hard bathroom floor. Grabbing him by the throat, Bertholdt pulled him up slammed his head down again. Snarling and hissing like a feral cat, Eren fucking fought. But that didn't mean he didn't try. He couldn't get a grip on Bertholdt's suit, but he did manage a impressive kick to the alpha's shin, causing Bertholdt to snarl. Fucking high heels had to hurt. If he was lucky, he would have torn the skin open  
"You won't hurt my alpha! I won't let you hurt Levi! I'm going to fucking kill you!"  
When Bertholdt raised him again, Eren through modesty to the wind. Booting him in the stomach and feeling his heels catching as he did... the satisfaction only lasted for a mere fraction of a second, as Reiner booted him hard in the back. Kicked out of Bertholdt's hold, he skidded on the bathroom floor until he hit the toilet cubicle divider. Driving his shoe into Eren's stomach, the omega screamed, trying to escape, but Reiner was an alpha who'd just seen his partner hurt. He couldn't stand up to that kind of raw fury. The last kick smashed into his nose   
"You have two fucking days, then we're coming for you. If you weren't so fucking useless, someone might actually want you alive. But don't worry, we'll make it nice and slow, just like he wants"

As the bathroom door opened, Bertholdt ducked into the closest cubicle, while Reiner moved to flatten himself against the wall beside the door. Fuck. Fuck. No. Levi had no idea what he was walking into. His alpha didn't even look around  
"Eren?!"  
Crying his name, he rushed towards him. He barely managed to take a step. Eren tried to scream in warning, but Reiner was slamming his fist into side of Levi's head. The king hit wasn't hard enough to knock Levi out, his alpha snarling as he dropped his knees, disorientated  
"Leave him alone!"  
His heart was hurting. Levi struggling to his feet, only for Reiner to kick his knee out with a crunchy pop that made Eren scream. Even with a busted knee, Levi snarled and struggled. Landing an impressive head butt against Reiner's nose. Roaring, Reiner stumbled back, Bertholdt launching himself at Levi and driving him down to the floor. Levi fucking howled a howl Eren had never heard before. His lover laying unmoving on the bathroom floor.

"Two fucking days"

Left bloodied and beaten in the bathroom, Eren couldn't even more to curl in on himself. His feet slipping again the tiles flooring as he tried, while his nose was bleeding like crazy. His stomach hurt so fucking bad, that was on par with his heat cramping. Angrily he slammed his hands down onto the tiles, over and over as he screamed. Two days. Two fucking days. Then what? Levi left and never came home? He couldn't live without Levi. He didn't know how to do anything without him. The adrenaline seeped from his body, as the coldness of the tiles started to ebb away at his warmth. He loved Levi. They'd spent time together during his heat. He'd accepted his alpha! He'd actually wanted his alpha! He wanted him there. It might not have been a full heat, but the fact remained that when he needed him, Levi had come home and looked after him... even if by some chance, he'd conceived during his heat, he'd been beaten so badly... Reiner and Bertholdt some how knew his father. Zeke had known his father. The foster home had known his father... his father was the cause of all of this. When would he finally be free of it all? Maybe if he closed his eyes, he'd die right now? He'd probably be damned straight to hell, but his soul would be carried on the wind, and that was enough... but... fuck. He wanted Levi. Levi was right there. He couldn't give up. He needed his alpha.

His body wouldn't cooperate or move right. One arm cradled his stomach as he crawled to Levi. Rolling his alpha over, Levi unconscious. Taking his lips with his thumb, Eren mumbled an apology. He'd thought somewhere like this was too public. But maybe that was the point? They could get to him anywhere? It certainly helped that scent cancellers had been installed across the whole building. Even Levi's scent was being erased by them... or maybe it was all the blood in his nose. He'd done this to Levi... Levi needed help. Patting his boyfriend's pockets, he finally found Levi's phone. The lock screen was a photo of Eren kissing his cheek, while  
Levi faked annoyance. The home screen was the same, with their roles reversed. This alpha loved him. Levi would never have betrayed him... he couldn't help the anxieties and the voices that told him he was wrong for believing that. He wanted to believe in Levi... but right now, help hand to come first. Opening Levi's call log. Erwin was right at the top. He hoped Erwin was paying attention to his phone...  
"Levi! Don't tell me you're not coming back? Or are you Eren going to be taking a little longer in the bathroom"  
Yes... but definitely not that way... maybe if he'd ignored his feet, he could have actually danced with his lover. Like a normal couple  
"E-Erwin... we... we need he-help. Levi's unconscious... they... hit him from behind"  
"Eren, where are you?"  
"T-the bathroom... be... be careful..."

 

*  
No matter how much he'd wished, Eren couldn't pass out. Erwin had brought Mike, and Eld with him, both alphas moving to help Levi while Erwin pulled him away. Passing out would have a been a blessing. Everything hurt, and Erwin wasn't helping. He just wanted to be with Levi, and Erwin took him away. 

Even when they got to the hospital, he still wasn't allowed to see Levi. His alpha was taken for tests by Mike. Mike was yelling all kinds of things, while Eren couldn't focus on anything outside of Levi's limp body. He was so fucking scared he wasn't going to wake up. He was left with Erwin for a chaperone until they finally took him through for tests of his own.

By some kind of miracle nothing was actually broken, even after being booted in the face. Eren was photographed, his clothes taken for trace evidence, while Erwin kept the police from talking to him. Somewhere along the line Mike found him a set of scrubs, which were about as comfortable as hospital pyjamas... it was clear both alphas were dying to ask what had happened... but even if he could talk, he didn't know what to say. They'd given him two days... and then they'd attacked Levi. His boyfriend hadn't done anything wrong. He didn't deserved the violence shown towards him. How was he supposed to say goodbye...? What if Levi died...? What was he supposed to say? His mouth was so chewed up, just the idea of speaking hurt. It was a tortuous wait. One the nurses had given him a sedative. At least, he assumed it was a nurse. It'd felt like everything that had happened since Erwin came, had resulted in him being man handled around, people not asking what he needed, and instead forcing him to do as they wanted. He was so fucking exhausted. Jumping at everyone and every noise. But if he closed his eyes, he feared he'd miss Levi dying.

It felt like a whole other lifetime that he'd been adjusting his shoes in the bathroom. The hospital was buzzing with activity, despite the early hour. Lead through to where Levi was, again he was being manhandled. This time by Erwin who insisted on pushing him around in a fucking wheelchair. He didn't need a wheelchair. He needed his boyfriend. Wheeled into Levi's room, his breath caught. Levi. He was laying there, half propped up... and awake. He'd been unconscious. He'd been so fucking scared. The way Erwin paused, Eren had the feeling he hadn't been expecting Levi to be awake either. Climbing from the wheelchair, he hobbled to Levi's bed, his boyfriend rousing from his thoughts as he sank down on it  
"Hey... brat"  
"Levi..."  
Levi hissed slight as he reached over and patted the space next to him. In the background, Erwin objected, but Eren didn't give two shits as he forced his abused body down, laying to face Levi  
"You look like shit"  
Eren gave a small giggle. He just felt so fucking relieved   
"So do you... how do you feel?"  
"Fucking concussed... but there's drugs, and they're nice"  
Nuzzling Levi's shoulder, his tears started to run   
"Hey... you don't need to cry"  
"You got hurt"  
"So did you... I'm sorry I wasn't there..."  
Levi's mouth probably hurt as much as his did... yet his alpha was being so kind...  
"I thought they killed you... I didn't think you'd ever wake up"  
"And leave you all alone. I don't fucking think so"  
"I'm so sorry..."  
"Hey... no. Erwin, is he ok?"  
"Bruised ribs, a concussion. He's going to be battered and bruised for a few days"  
"And they didn't..."  
It took Eren a moment to figure out what Levi meant  
"No... they were mad that I didn't want them"  
"We got some good DNA from under Eren's nails. He put up a hell of a fight"  
Levi smiled fondly  
"That's my omega"  
"For now you need to worry about yourself. Grade 3 MCL tear, and dislocation. Dislocated right shoulder..."  
Eren whimpered. He'd caused all this   
"Erwin, that's enough. He's been through enough"  
"And you're going into surgery in the morning"  
"I don't need surgery"  
"Levi..."  
"Erwin, drop it. Not now"  
"You could..."  
Levi growled   
"I said not now. My omega's distressed and you're making it worse. I'm not in the fucking mood for any of this shit, and you being an arsehole towards Eren isn't going to change anything. Go home. Calm the fuck down, and come back when you have"  
Great. Now he was causing more troubles between Levi and Erwin  
"Levi"  
"Go"

Eren didn't know if he was allowed to be there, but Levi was too tired to be angry for long. Laying there, he could hear his boyfriend's heartbeating. It's steady pulse calming him more than words could. Levi waited until he calmed, before sighing softly  
"Eren, what happened?"  
"Alphas..."  
"To bash the shit out of both of us. There's something more here"  
"Levi..."  
"Please. I need to know what happened to you"  
"I..."  
He what? He tried to stupidly attack Reiner and Bertholdt, and had his arse handed to him for it. Levi needed surgery now, and he had no idea why. He didn't know everything, but surgery...  
"Please?"  
"I couldn't protect you. They threaten you. I tried. I tried to fight"  
"Me? Why would they threaten me?"  
"B-because... Levi... They know you gave Zeke's shirt and knife to the police. They're in trouble over it all. They didn't think I'd break my word and tell you anything. But then, you went and saw Floch behind my back..."  
He hoped Levi would deny it. But as the silence between the stretched out, he knew Bertholdt and Reiner had been telling the truth. Levi had gone behind his back. He'd probably even turned his hand written statement thing over.

"It wasn't like that"  
"So you didn't give everything over to Floch?"  
"No. I did... I was..."  
"You were what? Trying to get us both killed? Well, congratulations"  
Climbing up, Eren gripped his side  
"Eren. Wait... I was trying to protect you"  
"From what? We've gone from me owing them a favour to "I'm dead in two fucking days"... and guess what, they're more than happy to go after everyone we know. Mikasa and Armin, they've already met with them. They know about Hanji and Anna. Erwin. Everyone. I was trying to fucking handle it. Now everyone's going to end up fucking dead"  
"Then go to Floch! Tell him what happened!"  
"We were at a fucking function with security and police and this still fucking happened. Think about it. They know who I am! They know what my father did. The know what Zeke did. They don't care. They just want me dead... for carrying his blood"  
Sliding off the bed, his knees nearly gave out as his bare feet hit the floor  
"Eren... please. I just want to protect you"  
"You can't! The police knowing about them, it puts them in danger too. They have nothing to lose"  
"Other than their lives"  
"They're already in trouble! If they're going to die, they're going to take as many people as they can with them! Why, Levi?! We could have stayed together for longer! Instead, you let me mark you, without marking me back! Why? Because you were scared I walk out on you?! Where would I go... I loved you... but you don't love enough to trust me... Everyone was staring... everyone knows you didn't mark me!"

Hobbling towards the door, he was exhausted and confused. He wanted his alpha to hold him. To soothe his aching body. But he was so fucking... done. He felt betrayed. He'd trusted Levi and this was what happened. They'd be both been bashed for it... he had to find how to get in touch with Bertholdt and Reiner... maybe if he warned them... maybe there would be away to keep Levi safe? If he warned them, before Floch could find them... then maybe they could escape. Maybe they'd be too busy running... No. They'd still probably kill him...   
"Eren... Please. I love you"  
"No. Just... stay away from me"  
"Eren. Stay... we can talk about this"  
"Levi. I... no matter what happens. I really did love you. Even if your feelings weren't the same"

 

*  
Levi had a long night of bitter angsting. Eren had walked out the door, and disappeared. He couldn't move his busted knee, and was too fucking medicated to make it out of bed. He still tried to do both. He had no idea what came next, or what to do. The pain medication he was on made it hard to stay awake, but he didn't want to sleep. Eren had taken off. When he'd tried to ask the nurses about it, they'd soothed him with the usual "I'm sure he'd fine" or "I'm sorry, Mike is still on call. I'm sure everything can wait until the morning". If it could wait, he wouldn't be so fucking angry. When he'd seen Eren laying on the floor, he hadn't even thought about how he'd ended up like that. His omega was injured and that had been all that mattered to him. He hadn't thought Eren could possibly be in any real danger. Other than getting lost. That's why he told him to take his phone. The building was huge and new, and galleries always had way more than needed amount of walls. With the number of police there, anyone sane wouldn't have done anything.

And so. It was a long wait under uncomfortable blankets and between scratchy sheets, with Eren's distress clinging to the blankets along his right side. He didn't think this would happen. He'd though that with the names, Floch would be able to track them down... before something like this shit happened. He swore he knew who'd hit him. There was something familiar about it, but when the second one had joined in, he knew he was fucked. Both alphas seemed twice his size... both angry. And now he knew why. He'd fucked up. Because of him, Eren was in more trouble than ever before... he'd said something about two days. Two days... and his omega had left hours earlier. He could be dead by now...

When Erwin came, he looked the appropriate amount of concerned. Pulling the visitors chair over, his friend dropped down heavily  
"Where's Eren?"  
Fuck...  
"I don't know"  
Erwin raised an eyebrow  
"What? Did you two have a fight?"  
"Something like that... I need you to call Floch"  
"Why? Is this about last night? Floch isn't assigned to your case"  
"Eren was attacked by the same people who killed his brother. They were these last night"  
"Levi. That's unlikely..."  
"Look. Call Floch. I would have, but they won't let me have a phone, and I'm too fucked up to move. Eren is missing. They're coming for him, because of me"  
"Levi"  
"Fucking hell, Erwin. He's missing. He took off not long after you left last night. Maybe an hour or two. He said they were going to kill him"  
"If they wanted him dead, they could have killed him right there"  
"They had to know someone would come looking for him. Everyone saw us together. They saw you with him"  
"They still had the time to have killed him"  
Fucking Erwin. It was like he didn't give two shits about Eren. None of this was Eren's fault. It was his for fucking going behind his back  
"If you're not going to call him, give me your fucking phone"  
"Relax, I'll call him"  
"Don't tell me to fucking relax. Eren thinks he's going to die. He's prepared to die. He thinks... fuck"  
Slightly over active thanks to his agitation, Levi swore as he tried to push himself up, despite knowing better. Reaching for him, Levi growled as Erwin pushed against his busted arm  
"Levi!"  
Shoving Erwin off him with his good arm, he glared at Erwin   
"If Eren dies, I will never forgive you"  
"I... I'll go call Floch"  
"Tell him to fucking fill you in. If you find Eren first, don't trust him with anyone. You keep him safe and you bring him here"  
Erwin nodded  
"I'll go by your apartment. Maybe he went home..."  
"Even if he did, the door's locked"  
"Look, I'll still go. The nurses will be in to prep you for surgery soon. I had Mike pull strings as it was"  
"He's still here? Did he say anything about Eren?"  
"No. As far as he knew, Eren was still here. Someone has to have seen something"  
Even if Erwin was only saying this to pacify him, it was a start. Floch would fill him in... he's been the one to introduce them in the first place... He could only pray that Floch and, or, Erwin could stop Eren from being hurt, or doing something incredibly stupid.


	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We shall not speak of this horror ever again. I had like a zillion ideas, and yet, nothing was worked the way I wanted... buuuuuut. I think it's because I loathe timeskips and there's one coming up.
> 
>  
> 
> Also. I got the drunk on Saturday, and then was driving back home on Sunday. That's why this tiny update is so late :/

Hobbling out of Levi's room, Eren didn't know what to do. He was honesty sick of this. He didn't have his phone. He didn't have a lift home. He didn't have his own clothes or his apartment keys. He didn't know who to talk to get them back... and if he talked to any of the nurses on duty, he feared they'd shove him in some bed... he could take his chances with the emergency department? If he could figure out how to get back there. Levi was being monitored for the night, but Eren was dead on his feet. Much like the gallery, everything looked the same... Right. He needed a plan of attack. Everything hurt way too much... so he made it a massive three metres down the hall, where he collapsed into the nearest chair. Levi had betrayed him... even if he thought he was doing the right thing, all he'd done was bring the pendulum swinging over their necks lower.

Eventually Eren was found by one of the nurses tending the ward. He supposed he looked so pathetic, the man took pity on him. "Leading" him through the halls and to the nurses station, he was informed he was actually supposed to be spending the night for observation. That wasn't happening. It was then that he found out, he could magically discharge himself. Even if it went against doctor's orders, he was legally an adult, and if he didn't want to stay... well, he didn't have to. Having his phone, silver clutch, jewellery and keys returned to him, the man was gracious enough to explain how to get out of wherever he was. He fucking wished he'd known about checking himself out before. He wouldn't have been stuck in hospital for weeks, feeling useless and unwanted. Everyone had probably known, and had probably had a good laugh at his expense over it all... buuuut if he hadn't been stuck, he wouldn't have stayed with Hanji, or moved in with Levi... If Zeke hadn't abandoned him, he wouldn't have known how happy he could be. Things with Levi might not have been perfect all the time, but Levi treated him so much better than he'd deserved. The man was truly amazing... If he gave into his needs and wants, he wanted to go back to Levi's room, but... he needed space to think about Reiner and Bertholdt which he wouldn't be finding in the arms of his boyfriend.... even if his omega was freaking out over their alpha being bashed because of him.

Leaving the hospital, he was lucky there were taxi's parked near the front. His cards were in his clutch, because he didn't know if he'd need ID, because once again, Levi hadn't told him. It was supposed to be a fun night... his alpha had even promised to dance... and now... he might just end up dead before ever telling Levi how much he meant to him. If only he could have kept his mouth shut. If only he could have forgiven Levi for betraying him... like Levi had done for him, so many times. Giving the man his address, he felt like one of those cliche movie characters as he stared out the taxi window. It felt weird. His chest felt tights, and not just from his beating. He'd left Levi behind. Levi never left him behind. Not when he was in hospital, alone and scared. Levi stayed. He talked with him, he put up with his bad moods and temper tantrums. He'd even read to him. Levi... Levi... he... fuck. He wanted to go back. But he was too much of a fucking coward. Even if Levi had betrayed him, or failed to give him his mark, he wanted to be with him. With tears in his eyes, he pulled out his phone. Levi probably wouldn't have access to his phone until after his surgery. If he'd been in Levi's place, his boyfriend never would have left him. He was a shit boyfriend and an even worse omega. Opening his texts, he stared down at Levi's name. He owed him some kind of explanation. He just didn't know how to say it all. How stupid and inconceivable was it that both Reiner and Bertholdt had taken on new identities?! How did he even explain that? And if he messaged Levi, what was to say that someone wouldn't intercept the message? Or that... that Levi would even make it through his surgery if he did? He couldn't risk it. But he didn't want everything to end with fight. He didn't want Levi being angry and blaming himself, like he knew his alpha would. Levi always blamed himself for too much. And, while he had fucked up, he wanted Levi to know that he wasn't just using him. In the end, he sent a simple message. Just three little words. "I love you". He did. And he always would. He was furious at Levi for bringing the inevitable end closer for them. They might have even had children before... before this happened and now. Now he was supposed to die. He'd never been more afraid of anything. But not for himself. For Levi. Levi would never let this drop. Let this die. He'd do something reckless and that would that. That was the kind of man Levi was. Those he loved, he loved fiercely. 

 

*  
Getting from the taxi and into the apartment had been agonising. Sitting in the back of the taxi, his muscles had seemed to fuse and each time he so much moved ever so slight the wrong way, pain would blossom across his body. Unlocking the door, he stumbled across the threshold. He barely got the door closed again before Titan came running out of Levi's room with the long yowl of a meow he gave when happy or excited. Levi's scent. Everything hit all over again as he was smothered in Levi's scent. With a rasping sob, he ignored Titan. Throwing his clutch, phone and keys across the room, he stood there, sobbing like an idiot. Pawing at his leg, Titan had no idea how much of shit person he was. He didn't deserve such innocent love. He didn't deserve any of this. Not a man who loved him. Or brought him nice clothes. Who didn't think twice about the fact he was an omega. Who didn't care if he had to use pads because of his messed up slick. He didn't deserve all the happiness Levi had brought him. Not when he'd left Levi laying in a hospital bed. Clutching at his chest, he dropped to his knees. Whatever strength his body had been using to keep his beaten form going, it was gone. He couldn't help but be overwhelmed by everything and so very confused by it all. Why tell him he had two days? Why? They thought he was dangerous enough to bash in the bathroom, to even attack Levi over it all. So why?

Falling asleep curled up around Titan, he woke to find the fat cat was under his head like a pillow, while someone was knocking at the door. Whoever it was, could wait. Or better yet, they could fuck the hell off. Giving Titan a kiss, Eren whimpered as he dragged himself off the floor and towards the bathroom. Everything fucking hurt to the point he was nauseous from the pain. When he finally made it, he ignored the mirror, knowing he'd only feel worse if he had to look at himself... especially after leaving Levi, like a damn coward. 

Having a hot shower only made things worse. His head was pounding as he climbed out the shower and tried not to vomit across the bathroom. Dragging himself out the bathroom, he sighed in... something that wasn't quite annoyance, yet nothing else came close. The knocking on the door, was now an Erwin in the living room. An Erwin he had nothing to say to. Wobbling over to his room, the alpha watched his every move. A tall silent scowling Erwin was slightly nerve wracking. He knew the moment he was dressed and stepped outside his room, Erwin would have a go at him. For leaving Levi behind and for what happened in the bathroom. This wasn't the plan. Not that he had a plan... but if he did, it wouldn't be this.

Drawing out getting dressed, he finally emerged to find Erwin standing in the same position, though Titan was now rubbing up against his leg. Fucking traitor. Limping to sofa, he sank down with yelp, his back twinging uncomfortably. Forcing him to sit upright. With a light pat on the sofa, Titan ran to his side and leapt into his lap, beginning to purr the moment he did  
"Look. Whatever it is, spit it out already"  
He wasn't in the mood to play games. He was exhausted and on edge. He still had so much to do, but was one bad comment away from a panic attack  
"Levi said you're going to die"  
Dobber. Not only had he betrayed him, he was getting Erwin involved. He hadn't bothered checking beneath his bedside drawers, there was no fucking point  
"And what's this then? An intervention?"  
"Cut the shit. Levi's in hospital, thanks to you"  
"Geez. Really? You don't say"  
Oh. He was going to be a little shit? His mouth was moving on its own, and Erwin wasn't appreciating the sass  
"Whatever game you're playing, it got him hurt"  
"I'm not playing any game. I'm trying to figure out how to keep him from being fucking stabbed to death. He's the one who fucked things up"  
Erwin growled in warning. The man really was like an overprotective father... while Eren was the kid leading Levi astray  
"You fucking left him"  
"It was his fault they came after us. He doesn't have any fucking idea what's going on, but that beating we took, is because he went to the cops"  
"Because he loves you! He's trying to save you from yourself"  
"That's funny. Giving the police my brother's murder weapon and shirt, is a shit way of showing it"  
"What the fuck is your problem? Levi spent the whole night worrying about you, and you don't give two shits about it"  
Eren let out a growl of his own, Titan jumping off his lap as his hands clenched  
"No. You have no fucking idea. I'm going to die in two days. Actually, probably tomorrow now. I've spent months hiding shit from Levi. Trying not to get any of you fucking involved with these people, and the second Levi goes to the police, this fucking happens. They don't care that none of you have done anything wrong"  
"Do you seriously think they're after you? They could have simply killed you at the Ball, or before you even came back"  
"Don't you think I know that"  
This argument was... well... not going as he'd expected. He'd thought Erwin would yell at him and leave. He was definitely doing the "scolding yell", in which he didn't yell but got just as pissy at him, but he hadn't seemed to get the leaving part...  
"You need to tell the police"  
"Tell them what? They can't do anything. You can't even do anything"  
"Eren..."  
"Don't you dare Eren me. You have no idea the kind of people you're fucking with"  
"Then tell me"  
"What?"  
Eren was momentarily shocked that Erwin could just straight up ask him to tell  
"You seem to think they're dangerous, and to be honest, I've been wondering for a while now if you're not making parts of this up for attention"  
He was baited and he bit. He had no idea what Erwin was playing at, but the alpha had crossed a fucking line. Rising to his feet, Eren snarled  
"What the fuck did you say?"  
"You've had a rough life. Your brother groomed you and conditioned you, and now he'd gone. Well, it'd be natural you miss the attention"  
Eren saw red, literally. Never had he felt this angry. Except for maybe when Levi was being hurt right in front of him and he couldn't fucking help him  
"Right! Ok! Because you know everything, I guess you know my father got in too fucking deep and got my mother killed in front of me. I was tortured for 4 fucking years and chained up by my foster family, because of my fucking father. I watched my brother be murdered by the people he called friends, because of my father. And you know what, they want me dead because I'm the last person left in my family. Tell me, have you even been kept like an animal. Made to sleep on rags and eat from a bowl? Have you ever fucked someone to save someone you cared about, only from them to kill him? And then, have them blame you for it? So yes. I'm totally fucking making up all this shit. I obviously don't give two fucks about Levi. No. It can't be that I actually fucking love and adore him. No. I'm just a useless fucking omega. Fuck you, Erwin. You don't know what Levi goes through. You're not here for his fucking nightmares! You don't have him waking up in your arms scared. He was so fucking good to me, and now he's going to end up dead because of it. So fuck off back to your happy life. Make the most of it, because they're coming after all of us"  
Erwin growled as he pointed at him  
"You're the one who doesn't know anything about Levi. You're too busy having a break down every five fucking seconds. He told you his past, and you know what, I told him not to"  
Was that all he had? It was kind of like a limp-wristed slap  
"I know you did. He told me. He's told me things he can't even tell you. You're like an overprotective parent. The way you smother him. It's ridiculous"  
"You have no idea..."  
"I have no idea that he fucking fell apart after Isabel and Farlan died? Do you even know why he was so wracked with guilt? He was in the car with them. He climbed out and he walked away, without knowing what he was doing. He blames himself for that. He thinks if he'd just stayed, that he wouldn't have killed them. But of course, he couldn't tell you. You'd tell him it wasn't his fault. He knows it logically, but anxiety and guilt doesn't listen to logic. Just go back to your dream bubble. I don't want to see you"  
"Levi was in the car?"  
Seriously? Was that all Erwin got from that  
"Yeah. He was. He felt bad enough Isabel was attacked at the party, but he's never gotten over leaving them"  
With the blood rushing to his head, he swayed on his feet. He was still fucking furious. He still wanted to punch Erwin in the face. Feeling something wet running down his face, he raised his fingers to his nose. Great. Another fucking blood nose  
"Eren..."  
Glaring at Erwin, he snatched up a few tissues off the box on the coffee table. It'd been there since his post heat, given everything had him crying  
"Go away. Go back and make sure Levi is alright. You're obviously the better choice, given how much you hate me. I love him to the point we were talking about kids and marriage. And now, he's even got my mark. When he refuses to mark me as his own. It doesn't matter how I feel about him. I'll be gone soon"  
"The only reason Levi didn't mark you is because he wants you to be happy. He wants you to go school. Have a job. Have a life. He wants you to experience everything you can. And for you to be happy. That's all he wants. Before you settle down"  
"So what? Him saying he wants a baby, and him taking my bond, what was that then? I've had enough of people trying to get into my fucking head. You need to leave"  
"Everything Levi's done, he's done for you. He loves you"  
"And I love him. It doesn't change anything"  
With the tissues wadded against his nose, Eren limped over to the front door, opening it wide  
"You're going to break him"  
"He's better off broken than dead"

Erwin's angry alpha stench lingered long after the alpha left. He had no idea why Erwin had suddenly picked a fight with him like that. Even with the hiccup of Erwin handing Zeke's phone to the police, they'd gotten on ok once things had settled. He'd been trying the best he could, because he knew Levi valued Erwin. And now. He'd gone and opened his big mouth about Isabel and Farlan. Fuck. He was a moron. With his hands shaking too much to get the bolt or chain back in place, he turned the two handles on the door lock and glared at it. Levi never should have been in the position where he had to replace the locks. Over taxed, he grabbed a few more tissues, heading to his bedroom with Titan following closely. Erwin wasn't likely to come back, and Levi... he assumed he'd have to stay in for a few days because of whatever the surgery he needed was. It was a kind of pathetic way to spend what could be his last day, but he needed proper sleep... in the room that Levi had taken so much time to carefully prepare for him.

What Eren didn't know was that outside the apartment, down at street level, Erwin was now sitting back in Floch's car. Floch having listened to the whole conversation. He thought he was alone and could finally find some peace. Completely oblivious to the two scheming alphas that he hadn't even thought would or could possibly join forces. He had no idea he was now under surveillance. If he'd known Floch was listening or planning, he might not have been such a dick...

 

*  
Levi wasn't impressed. Waking up to Erwin's ugly mug was hardly the wakeup he'd wanted. The moment his eyes had opened, he'd sought out Eren... only to find his omega absent. It hurt. The wound a deep festering ache in his heart, that no amount of pain killers could fix. Perhaps it because he wore Eren's mark that he felt Eren's absence so keenly. A sense of loss, like losing a limb, or some other body part that he was supposed to have. Eren was supposed to be here. With him. How could they talk thing out, if he wasn't there to talk to. The feeling in his chest and the way his alpha was panicking over his wayward boyfriend... it was a complete and total shit feeling. He wanted to go home and beg Eren to forgive him. They were stronger together, and with whatever was coming, staying separated was not the way to approach it.

If waking up to Erwin wasn't shitty enough, things got even shittier was when Erwin started to explain everything, including picking a fight with Eren in the hopes the omega would spill more than he'd meant to. If he wasn't still groggy from anesthetiser, he'd have decked him one. No one, except for him, picked on Eren. No one called him out, because they didn't understand Eren's limits. Upsetting him and leaving him... nothing good ever came from it. He appreciated that Floch had arranged surveillance for the apartment building, and that the man was taking things much more seriously now that they'd both been assaulted. He just wished Erwin hadn't been so underhanded with his tactics. Eren was hurt and confused, he wouldn't understand what Erwin or Floch wanted from him. If both of them had approached him, and simply explained that they planned to catch whoever it was, in the act, and that Eren had nothing to fear, Eren might have finally opened up... or for the first time in his life, he might have stopped being such a stubborn little shit about everything and fucking accepted help, rather than thinking he was in this alone. That's why Levi had asked for Floch to join them at the apartment when he'd finally been released from hospital. Despite how Erwin had made it sound, the surgery on his knee was simply for a few small tears in the ligament of his knee, which had been exacerbated by the attack. Normally a grade three MCL tear didn't require surgery, just 6 weeks in a knee brace. But having already had slight damage from years of working and life in general, he'd had to have the shitty procedure, which served to extend his stay in hospital for another night.

So, it was two days after the attack that Levi was finally driven home. Erwin spent more time watching him out the corner of his eye, than he did on the road. This constant watching and biting of his tongue was getting under his skin. Erwin usually shot from the hip, but now it was like he'd forgotten how to cut the crap. It only served to worsen Levi's mood. He was happy to be coming home, but had no idea what to say to Eren, or if Eren would even want to talk to him. Levi had tried sending Erwin back to look after Eren, only for Erwin to fucking stay. He didn't need a babysitter. Eren needed the goddamn babysitter. It wasn't brain surgery. Uncharacteristically, he wrung his hands with nerves. It was equal parts patheticness and part bonding mark dependancy, he'd felt slightly abandoned when Eren didn't call or text, or visit. The last and only message he'd received was "I love you", then nothing. No reply to any of his calls. No reply to asking how he was, or how Titan was. He never knew he could feel so put out, by being left alone. Even when Eren went missing last time, his heart had broken, but they hadn't been bonded then and Eren had been with Zeke. Zeke taking "care" of Eren, unlike the pair that had attacked them. A life without Eren, was no life at all. The lazy mornings. Waking and watching Eren sleep, his sleepy little puffs and the fringe across his face. The way he'd grumble in his sleep if Levi moved away, and the way he'd reach for him when he woke. Those small moments were so very precious to him.

Pulling up in front of the apartment building, Erwin parked curbside, rather in the underground parking. This meant limping like a shitty moron and tackling stairs and the alpha wasn't amused. Every fucking second longer it took, was another fucking second he could be spending with Eren. However, almost immediately, the passenger side door was opened and Floch was standing there, explaining why Erwin had parked where he had. Floch once again had that same shit professional smile on his, not shying away as Levi shot a glare in his direction  
"Hello, Levi. Nice to see you again"  
Ignoring Floch's outstretched hand, Levi stubbornly climbed from car unaided, leaning on the door as he mentally cursed his busted knee. Floch let his hand drop, his eyes betraying his annoyance over Levi ignoring his help  
"Alrighty then. Straight to business. Eren hasn't left the building, nor have we made contact. Over the last two days, there have been 19 deliveries, two calls to emergency services and one ambulance. My team is verifying..."  
Floch's team meant nothing to him. He just needed to know what related to Eren directly  
"Floch. Cut the shit. These two calls to emergency services?"  
"Domestic's on the third and fifth floor. The ambulance was called due to a suspected heart attack. We've only been admitting emergency service personal either Erwin or I are personally acquainted with"  
Rounding the car and moving to Levi's side, Erwin handed over his crutches. He didn't fucking want crutches. He was sure once he saw Eren, everything would feel better...  
"You and Eren were both attacked at the Charity Ball Gala, this means our suspect pool is quite limited. Outside of everyone at our table, I feel there are few we can actually trust. For now, we should head up, and explain things to Eren"  
Levi grumbled under his breath, limping along between Erwin and Floch. Maybe given their time apart, Eren would have calmed and have been able to see that he'd only acted out of love... with a tiny pinch or two of cowardice sprinkled in  
"You should have just explained things to him from the very start"  
"As we explained, Eren is still a person of interest. His statement makes for some interesting reading, but we've made no headway finding Reiner or Bertholdt, let alone any of the others mentioned and described within. If it wasn't for both Marco's statement and photos, and Bertholdt's hospital admission papers, there's no other evidence of them. They weren't on the property lease for the apartment they shared with Zeke and Eren, nor are there any papers surviving after the fire at the strip club Eren was originally employed in"  
So Floch had nothing and Eren was the only way they were going to make any progress... fucking great.

Floch insisted on going first as Erwin used Levi's keys to open the apartment door. Like some kind of monster was lurking, poised to attack. The fact that Eren hadn't placed the bolt and chain in place, pissed him off. He'd had them installed for his boyfriend's safety, and for Titan's. He may have had his arse handed to him, but that was because he'd been so focused on his injured lover that he'd acted foolishly. The moment he'd seen his omega laying there, he'd been filled with so much rage. Walking inside, everything seemed as he left it, which had been neat and tidy   
"Eren?!"  
Titan came running from the kitchen, the fat tom happy as he reached up and pushed against Levi's leg, trying to get pats with small headbutts, one paw reaching up to tap at his hand  
"Eren?! Hey Brat? Are you home?"  
Erwin sighed, looking towards Eren's door   
"Levi, why don't you sit. I'll go get him"  
The stillness of the apartment had Levi's hearts starting to race as his gut filled with dread. Ignoring Erwin and Floch, he limped over to Eren's room, opening the door with ease. With the bolt and chain off, he'd thought maybe Eren had locked himself in his room   
"He's not in here"  
Eren's bed was neatly made. His lover's scent was still fresh in the room, not like in the living room. He hadn't noticed, but scent canceller had been sprayed. With the door closed, Eren's scent had been spared. Biting down the groan that came from slight twist in his knee as he turned, taking two steps and stepping into their bedroom, his bed just as neatly made as Eren's... the only thing out of place was Levi's pillow. Slightly sitting on angle and lifted onto Eren's side of their bed  
"He's not here..."  
It took a moment for the weight of those words to seep in. Eren wasn't here. His boyfriend wasn't here. Growling, he turned to face Floch. His eyes cold as ice as he bared his teeth  
"Eren's not here"  
Taking half a step backwards, Floch raised his hands and looked to Erwin for support   
"Levi, maybe he's in his wardrobe? Or yours?"  
Levi didn't need to look in the wardrobe or under the bed or in the bathroom  
"He's not fucking here!"  
Floch took another half step back, his tone even as he tried to calm Levi's rage before it could begin   
"Look. He couldn't have left the building. We would have seen"  
Levi wasn't going to be calmed so easily  
"Then where the fuck is he. I fucking trusted him to you, Erwin. You were supposed to fucking stay with him"  
Limping over to his bed, Levi sank down on the edge. Being higher than the sofa, it was easier to climb up on. What the fuck was happening? Eren couldn't have left via any way other than the front door... Floch had promised Eren's safety, and now... his boyfriend was fucking gone. Erwin was supposed to go to Floch and Floch was supposed to take him into protective custody... or something. They never should have left him as bait... Eren was smart. He always said he was stupid, for not being able to read or write properly, but the kid was fucking smart. He'd come leaps and bounds since Levi had met him. Eren had such a fierce desire to learn. To know more. To be more than he was... even if he was Levi's everything. Rubbing the back of his neck, his fingers sought out Eren's mark. He understood now, what Eren meant. About having a permanent reminder, even if something was to happen to either of them. Angered that they'd let his lover be taken. That he hadn't been there to protect him, or talk him out of whatever he planned, Levi snatched up his pillow and hurled it across the room with a feral yell. His boyfriend was gone. He'd left him again...  
"Levi!"

Rushing into his room, Erwin placed his hands on Levi's shoulders, Levi snarling as his ripped them off  
"Don't fucking touch me!"  
"Levi..."  
"This is your fucking fault! I told you! I told you, you needed to go to him! You should have dragged him out of here!"  
"What was I supposed to do? He was under surveillance"  
"By your fucking friends! They couldn't even wipe their shitty arses, let alone fucking take care of one omega. You fucking find him. You fucking find him, or you're dead to me"  
How the fuck had Eren disappeared under their noses?! This was supposed to be men that Floch and Erwin trusted... so fucking much for that. Erwin sighed, walking over he picked up the pillow Levi had just thrown. In doing so, something slipped from it, falling to the floor with a soft metallic clink. Rising, Levi pushed Erwin aside in his haste to grab whatever it was. His knee screamed at him as he dropped to the floor, snatching up the item. Yes! Eren had left something. Something for him to find...

 

Curled and slipped through Eren's catfish keyring, Eren had scrawled a messy letter. His hand writing had improved, but Levi had no idea why his boyfriend would leave him a letter. Not when he could of texted or called. He was sure it had to mean something, he was sure it had to be some kind of clue...

"My Levi.   
My Arsehole of an alpha. How am I supposed to say the things I wanted to. I don't have the words to say it all. Only that I love you and I never wanted things to be like this. Most of my life was horrible. Suspicious and alone, I thought I'd die like that. You were the best thing that ever happened to someone like me. And even if you never loved me as much as I loved you, you were in so many ways the father I thought long dead. But you're not. He's not. I love you Levi. I always will. Even if I'm gone now. I wish I knew the way to find my way back to you. But for now, I have to go. All I wanted was to be with you forever and to be yours.  
Love always  
Your brat"

What was he supposed to make of this? Eren could have fucking said anything. He could have done anything. He could have called for help, or even left a message saying who was responsible. Not a tear stained letter of total shit... and no clues to where he could have been taken. He just had row after row of messy capital letters to remember Eren by. Floch and Erwin had taken the letter from him nearly two hours ago, but the words had already branded themselves into his brain. What the fuck was this supposed to mean? And why didn't Eren struggle or fight? Was their life together just... didn't it mean enough? Why couldn't it have been enough for Eren? Laying on his bed, he had his back towards the door. Floch hadn't called for backup, not with Eren missing. Maybe Zeke had been right when he'd told Eren not to trust the police. Someone was working for whoever attacked Eren, and possibly had help conceal and cover Zeke's murder until the smell had caused trouble. Then again. Everyone was a stranger. No one talked to their neighbours anymore. He'd personally seen cases where people weren't discovered.

"Levi! We've got it!"  
Whatever they had, they could keep it. Eren was gone and Levi couldn't calm down. The storm inside of him was raging. The words that threatened to slip from his tongue were just as shocking as lightening bolt  
"Levi! It's a message. Eren left it in his letter"  
"What message?"  
It didn't seem like there was anything in there... it was too short  
"Here, come out to the kitchen. Floch is calling it all through to Pixis"  
He didn't want to get out of bed. He didn't want to walk to the kitchen. He wanted the drugs out his system, so he could track Eren down. He might not have had a plan, but he wanted his boyfriend home and safe... and that meant seeing this "message" Eren had left him.

Floch was leaning against the counter, whatever call he'd been making was now over. Erwin followed him over to the counter  
"Show him"  
Levi ground his teeth together, while Floch picked up the letter  
"What's the first thing you notice about this?"  
"That Eren had been crying"  
"Beside that"  
"I don't know. It's short and angry? He compares me to his father? I don't fucking know. Just spit it out"  
"It's written in capital letters"  
Levi rolled his eyes  
"Eren had trouble with lower case"  
"Here, look at this"  
Placing the paper down on the kitchen bench, Floch placed his pen over the letters  
"Look at this"  
Feeling like this was waste of time, Levi looked over the pen. Some letter tops went over, while some were under. He didn't see anything particularly abnormal about it  
"Do you see the difference?"  
"Eren can't write properly?"  
"Anyone who would look at this, would think that but, if he was writing this while someone was watching, he'd have to be careful"  
"Floch. Just say it"  
"Just listen to this first"  
Floch started, only reading a few lines  
"My Arsehole of an alpha.   
Most of my life was horrible. Suspicious and alone.  
You were in so many ways the father I thought long dead. But you're not. He's not. I love you Levi. I always will. Even if I'm gone now. "  
He still wasn't getting it... Levi was just going to blame the drugs for that...  
"Now, look at this. Look at the letters slightly bigger than the others. We have "M" from "my". The next is the "ARSE" from "arsehole". And this third is the "L" from "alpha". When we write that out, we get "Marsel". The next word starts with the "Mo" from "most". Then, the "Sus" from Suspicious. That together, you get "Mosus". Marcel and Moses"  
Levi frowned. What the fuck did they have to do with anything?  
"The third message Eren left us is easier we take "Father", "Dead", and finally "not". Eren is saying his father isn't dead"

Levi frowned deeply, cross his arms as he did. It seemed like a reach. Eren's father was legally declared dead. Eren hadn't seen him in a decade, so it made no sense for him to be alive...  
"Levi, I called work. Marcel took leave this afternoon. He said he had a family emergency"  
Floch added  
"I've requested that Marcel Galliard and Moses Braun both be run through our database. But if this is case of identity fraud, they had to have had help"  
Identity fraud. Where the fucking had that come from? Marcel and Moses? They couldn't fake credentials, or at least Marcel couldn't. He knew how thorough the background checks were. You couldn't just walk through the door and get a fucking job  
"We fucking run background checks. This can't happen..."  
Eren... Why hadn't he said anything?  
"Levi, don't you remember how Eren had that panic attack. Marcel was the one who told us. Marcel was also supposed to be at the Ball"  
"Eren would have fucking told me..."  
"Would he? He believed you were in danger, and now we have two names and reason to believe it's connected to his father"  
"His father bashed the shit out of him and left him"  
Floch nodded  
"I pulled out his old files. There were details from his time in foster care, yet there were clearly pages missing from his files, and things that were sealed. Despite the use our reliance on technology, all of Eren's files were only available in he single hard copy"  
"Did it have anything in there about his mother's murder? Or what his father was involved in?"  
"No. But I can guess. Grisha. When he first disappeared, Eren mentioned his father was involved in drugs and illegal medical procedures, but that was from an 11 year old omega who'd been beaten. The police thought Eren was lying, due to being such a young omega. Trying to get his father into as much trouble as possible for hurting him. When Grisha disappeared, there was a limited search for him. Those files are missing"  
"What about the court minutes? After he was beaten while in foster care, Zeke took the case to trial"  
Floch sighed  
"The family was murdered. Their house was burnt down. With no end of suspects, no one was ever charged. It seemed they'd made a number of enemies through drugs and prostitution"  
"Zeke killed them. Eren told me. They tortured him, due to his father. Whatever Grisha was into, he was in deep. What are we thinking here? What did Eren's statement say?"  
"You didn't read it?"  
Erwin seemed confused  
"It wasn't my place to. He gave me the option. I could ether know about his past, or could not push the past and have him here"  
"Eren named Reiner Braun and Bertholdt Hoover as Zeke's killers"  
Oh. Now he got the identity fraud thing... Braun. Reiner had changed his first name, while Bertholdt had changed his full name  
"He was unable to name the others, and his descriptions were quite vague. Given the condition he was found in, his statement was amazingly detailed"  
"Eren has nightmares. I doubt he could forget his past, no matter how much he wanted to"  
"Well, for now, we have a start. It's not safe to be in this apartment, I'll be moving both you and Erwin into a safe house for now. As well as Hanji Berner and her daughter Anna. We messed up here, letting Eren slip through our fingers like this. I will not make the same mistake twice"  
It didn't feel to him like Eren was dead... even though they had no idea how long the omega had been missing. He'd heard that those bonded could feel the loss of their mate. As someone who'd never thought he'd be bonded, he'd never put much stock in the credibility of such claims. Now that he had Eren's mark, he prayed that he'd feel nothing from it. As long as he didn't, he could hold onto the slim chances of Eren being alive.


	45. Chapter 45

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yep

Levi was in a bad state. Floch had tracked down the real Marcel Galliard, only to find the man dead and locked in his own chest freezer. The house had been recently abandoned, and clues were running dry. Being unable to work, he had all the time in the world to drive himself insane. All the time in the world to play out every possible scenario of Eren's abduction. They'd found that the "heart attack" victim, had been paid to call in the emergency. He'd thought it a prank. A stranger having approached him and paid him $100 just to make a simple call to prank his friend. The man didn't even know Levi and Eren both lived in the building, and he'd already spent the cash so there was no way of tracking down the bills he was paid with. The ambulance used to transport Eren was found on the outskirts of the city, the same night Levi had come home. There'd been blood at scene, though it hadn't been Eren's, it was enough to drive the spike of fear deeper into his heart. If Eren had fought, his boyfriend could be out there somewhere in a critical condition. Levi couldn't even sleep without seeing Eren. His dreams never once being kind to him, as Eren blamed him for his death, over and over... For the first month after Eren disappeared, he, Hanji and Anna, and Erwin had all been living together in a "safe" house that Floch had organised. They hadn't had access to the outside world. He'd nearly gone crazy from Hanji mothering him, and Erwin trying to father him. He wasn't a fucking child. He didn't need the guilt of their concern on top of his own guilt. Titan had hated the safe house, so the moment one month was up, Levi had returned back to his apartment. If Eren was out there and trying to get home, then he'd be there waiting for him. Even if it took the rest of his life.

 

*  
Drenched in blood, Eren stumbled down the dirt road. His body was shaking with shock, his hair wild from lack of care and his bottom lip chewed to something resembling a bloody pulp. The cold night wind seemed to rip through his near naked body, while the knife in his right hand seemed to be the only thing he was acutely aware of.

 

The day he'd been taken from the apartment, his world had been turned upside down. In that moment, it was like someone spinning a mirror in its stand. As it gradually slowed, he was left looking at a sight that disgusted him, as much as it confused him. His father was standing there. His father who'd walked out and left him, was now the one coming for him. He'd thought the man dead, yet he showed up, screaming at him that they had to leave. Bertholdt and Reiner were the ones who were the ones who'd supposed to come for him. He'd say there, through the night and watched the door. The largest and sharpest knife in the house was his only protection. But his father. His father hadn't been expected. The desire to kill the man where stood was only bested by his need to know. And now, he'd give almost everything not to. Still. He'd left with him. He'd written what he needed to Levi, praying that his boyfriend would understand the things he was trying to say. The things he'd written just that little bit bigger without making it too obvious. Given the degree of shock he'd been in, and that he'd had to pull himself out of an impending panic attack, he'd been proud he'd been able to write anything at all.

Taken down by elevator, Bertholdt joined them in the narrow space. Again. He didn't understand. Bertholdt had blamed the whole thing on his father. He'd cursed him, and told him end up dead, just like him. So why was the alpha now sullenly following his father's orders? The thoughts in his head wouldn't stop. His breathing ragged, as if he'd already done the runner he was planning too. For nearly fucking decade, he'd thought he was dead. He'd thought the man had forgotten he'd even existed, and that's why he'd up abandoned. Just having his father next to him was enough to make him physically ill, to the point when the elevator doors opened to the ground floor, he'd fainted.

Waking up, he was in a small room. It was basic. Very basic, but he counted his blessings that it wasn't a basement. Sitting on the end of his bed, his father was reading... like he was some fucking right to be there. Trying to find his voice, nothing came forth. He wanted to scream, or at least tell his father to let him go. With a heavy sigh, the man closed the book he'd been reading. The look on his face unreadable as he turned to him. This was the face of the man who'd hurt him. Who'd killed his mother and beat him for being an omega. The face of the man who wanted to sell him off. Who considered him defective and dirty for having a second dynamic he couldn't help. The face of the man who'd fucking ruined his life  
"Eren, I hoped we wouldn't meet like this. I'm sure you must have some questions"  
Yeah. Like how the fuck did he get out of here?! And where was here? That was about it. He didn't want to know what his father had been doing, and he didn't care to know. The man had left him when he'd needed him the most  
"You're right. There are some things words cannot say alone. Not when those are listening. Perhaps it would be easier to show you"  
Eren wanted to protest, but again, nothing came out. His father rose from the end of the bed, walking to stand next to where he sat. Reaching out his hand, Eren recoiled from touch. His face filled with disgust. Just the scent of his father was enough to have him vomiting in his mouth  
"Eren, either you come with me, or we have you moved to less agreeable accomodations until you learn your place"  
Learn his place? He knew his fucking place. It was in Shinganshima, with Titan and Levi. It was waking up in Levi's arms, and cuddling on the sofa. This place. Was not his place  
"You have until three to decide, then I'll be deciding for you. One. Two..."  
Not giving him any time to think, Eren scrambled from the bed before his father could say three  
"Excellent. Zeke's training was effective, I see"  
Eren's throat tightened at the mention of Zeke's name. How did his father know about that? Or how Zeke had trained him...  
"You will follow me. You will be silent and if you run, we will chain you. Do I make myself understood?"  
Unable to speak, Eren nodded  
"Come along then"

Blinded as the excited the room, he found himself in some kind of world that looked like it'd been lifted from a movie. The whole area was set in a wide circle, various people coming and going from the stark white buildings. Moving towards the building opposite them, Eren followed. There was something about this whole place that scent a chill through him. This wasn't good place. It felt cold and empty. Like everyone was here, didn't want to be. Trailing after his father, his bare feet froze against the damp grass. Trust Grisha to ruin everything he could for him, grass now included.

Despite the humble outside of the building, Eren smelt disinfectant as he walked into what seemed to be some kind of laboratory. Once again, everything was too white, and the glass was just way too clean. With no time to stop and take it all in, he followed blindly until they reached a set of heavy dark doors, the silver handles looking imposing as fuck. He definitely wasn't supposed to be here. Taking two steps back, his heart was pounding hard enough for him to hear it. Turning and catching sight of him, Grisha covered the distance between them, grabbing him by the arm and yanking him forward   
"You will obey me, or they will kill you"  
What the fuck. Whoever "they" were, made plenty of empty fucking threats and promises. He was supposed to be dead already, not in some kind of fucked up dream world where his father was alive. Gripping his arm so hard that it hurt, he was pulled to the doors, Grisha giving a single knock before entering.

Inside the room was decked in black. Even the plants either side or the desk seemed to be black. The space feeling so heavy and oppressive, it was hard to remain standing. Seated at the long oval table that filled most of the room, 11 sets of eyes were on him as he pulled over and manhandled down into a chair, his father taking the seat next to him   
"Eren Yeager"  
His name was said like it was a hair ball being coughed up. The old man at the end of the table looked slightly familiar, but he couldn't place it. Seated to his left, were Reiner and Bertholdt, both alphas looking like scared rabbits, rather than killers  
"Eren. We understand you've been causing some problems for all of us. Under your father's recommendation, we have decided to liberate you from your current life. Do you understand?"  
He understood nothing. Glaring back at the man seated directly opposite him, he crossed his arms  
"Grisha. You assured me the boy would talk"  
"And he will"  
"You know the penalty if he does not"  
Under the table, his father kicked him. What were they? 12?  
"It has come to our attention that you have been communicating with the Shinganshima Police Department, and with a certain officer Floch Forster"  
Floch had a last name? Dah. Of course people had last names   
"Eren, you seem to be under the impression we are bad people. We are not, and we hope that in time, you will see the mistakes you have made. Grisha, return him to his room"

That was it? He was dragged up here, for that? Fucking seriously? He had more questions that fucking answers, and he still had no idea where the fuck he was. Was this a cult? Had his father really abandoned him, to join this fucking cult? He'd seen enough TV to know cults were filled with weirdos, and that these things never worked out well for anyone involved. In the movies, everyone always ended up dead with a lone survivor walking off into the distance as the place burned to the ground. Is that what he'd been caught up in? Escorted back to his room, his father didn't stay. Maybe he got that Eren wanted absolutely nothing to do with him... or more likely, he had to go grovel to whoever those people in that room had been... If the alpha thought he was simply going to take all of this, without a word of real explanation, he was sadly mistaken.

 

For the first week Eren was kept isolated from everyone. His father brought him meals, and took him to what seemed to be a communal shower block. The number of omegas in the place took him by surprise, as did the number of children. It didn't look like a place for children, and none of them looked happy about it. No one talked either. Normally a pregnant omega took comfort in being with other omega's, but here, everyone tried to avoid everyone else. Something was going on here and he didn't like it. Nor was he going to let things keep going like this. His own omega was distraught from their smells, leaving him constantly on edge. He still hadn't been able to find his voice, but he had found that his door locked from the outside, which was useless, but his window. His window was wonky in its frame. That he might be able to use.

His plans were dashed when he was moved into the same room as his father. Ninety percent of the room was filled from floor to ceiling with medical technology that meant nothing to him. Two small beds sat at the rear of the room, once covered with books. Locked in with his father, the first thing Grisha did was throw his arms around him, holding him tight like a loving father would  
"It's safe to talk here. I never meant to get you involved with any of this"  
Well that was a load of shit. If he hadn't wanted him involved, he could have fucking left him with Levi  
"Look, you may not believe me, but all I wanted was to keep you safe. What happened with your mother... I wish it could have been avoided. And then with Zeke. Zeke did well. He kept you safe and hidden..."  
Shoving his father off him, he bared his teeth as he snarled  
"Eren..."  
Trying to form his words, nothing happened. Instead he stood there like the angry idiot he was  
"Eren, it's ok. I know you must have a lot of questions, but for now, know that I had to drive you away. I had to make sure you wouldn't track me down, or come after me. I'm sorry for what happened. I was a fool. I was a coward. I tried to find a way out of this all... but now... no. Never mind. Just know, that if you do as they say, things will go much smoother... this... this was all I could do to keep you alive. Read the books on your bed, then you'll understand"

Eren ignored the books for as long as he could. He couldn't calm down with his father acting so "normal" around him. Nothing about this was normal. Nothing about this place was normal. On the dresser that sat between his and his father's bed, were photos. Photos Eren felt Grisha had no right to have. Not only were they of his mother, but also of Zeke and Zeke's mother. It was bad enough that they were on display, but out of all the photos in the small collection, most of them were of him. Including recent photos of him with Levi. He'd suspected they were being watched, but there was no real evidence, other than Bertholdt working with Levi, and he hadn't known about that until months after it'd first started. Photos of him coming out of Krista's office. In Paradis. At the hospital. At Moblit's wake. The most recent was of him at the Charity Ball with Levi on his arm. It was sickening. He didn't want anything to do with Grisha. He'd rather... he'd rather be trapped in a room with Reiner and Bertholdt than sharing this room with his father. At least he knew the pair wanted him dead. He knew what they wanted from him, and who they were. His father on the other hand was a stranger from his nightmares. He probably wished Eren had been wasted across the sheets rather than ever be conceived.

His father noticed that he hadn't read the books on his bed almost immediately. The man held off saying anything, until Eren was woken in the middle of the night. His father already awake, but the knocking on their door couldn't be ignored. Beckoned to follow, Eren was freezing in the thin white clothes he'd been gifted. He didn't even have time to slide his shoes on before he was being lead through the central courtyard area. Yeah. They were definitely in some kind of cult. Called to deliver a pup, Eren nearly bolted from the room the moment he realised what was going on. The poor woman had been left to ordeal everything alone, while two stocky alphas stood guard outside her room. Directed to hold her hand, and support her, he was grateful he didn't have to be down the other again. Birth might be a miracle, but staring at people's private parts was gross. Just because everyone had them, didn't mean they needed to show them off or anything... and he had no idea how people could work with those areas... it was not for him. Having been left until nearly the final moment, the female omega was a mess, the birth over in three pushes, and the baby a healthy girl. He was so fucking angry. The girl was taken from the mother with one of the waiting alphas like it was a normal thing to do. The woman was crying for her pup and he couldn't fucking do anything about it. Once his father had made sure he was alright, they'd been escorted back to their room, and his father had pushed the books he'd been ignore into his hands. He didn't know why he needed to read them, not when the moment he figured out how to get out of wherever he was, he was gone. He'd done some fucked up things in his life, but whatever this was... he didn't want any part of this.

 

*  
Levi may have overindulged with his drinking the previous night. Though, he didn't know if was classed as overindulging, when he was still drinking. Erwin had decided he was fucking moving in 7 weeks after Eren's disappearance. It wasn't like Levi was still falling apart. He would have had to stop falling apart for that to happen. He'd plastered as many missing posters of Eren as he could onto their social media accounts, as well as printing physical copies, and distributing them everywhere he could. Each day got harder. Waking up without Eren by his side. Without his sleepy smile. His soft purrs and messy bedhead. The way he reached out for him if Levi moved away. The way Eren would smile as he snuggled into him, and would mumble his name in his sleep. His phone was constantly by his side in case Eren found a way to called him.

Floch was still looking for Eren, without making things too obvious. He'd been sideswiped while driving, barely able to prevent his car from rolling, shortly after the discovery of Marcel's body. Floch was now working personally under Dot Pixis as an internal review was being conducted through the precinct. Being on the outside, he had no way of knowing what had been discovered, and the daily calls to the man in the hopes of news, had become weekly instead. Every time a dead body was found and reported on the news, Levi's heart would break a little more. He didn't want to find Eren dead. He just wanted to find him. He wanted things to go back to how they'd been... his apartment resembled more of a pigsty than a abode. The dishes sitting in the sink for days at a time, while the only actually shopping he did was for Titan, or printer ink when he'd run out from printing missing person flyers. Eren's room was just the way he'd left it. Erwin was sleeping on the sofa, with the hopes that he'd just fuck off back home. A fine layer of dust had settled over everything, but if he washed Eren's blankets, he'd be washing away Eren's scent, and he wasn't strong enough to do that. He needed his omega. Or he needed to make enough noise that Reiner and Bertholdt would come for him. He'd named and shamed them on social media, and still, nothing had happened. Eren had said they'd be after him once he was dead, yet it seemed more like once they'd gotten Eren, they couldn't give two fucks about everyone else...

Erwin was at work, leaving Levi home with Titan and the bottle of scotch he'd been sipping on since the night before. There was only one benefit to Erwin being in the apartment and that was when he left. When he left, Levi could stay in bed, remembering Eren. He'd been looking forward to getting Eren out of that dress. They'd touched a little during Eren's post heat, when Eren had needed the physical contact to soothe his fears, but that was so long ago, it felt like he'd forgotten the heat of Eren's body against his. Rolling so his facing his phone, he ignored the device as it started to ring. People had called about Eren, some even texting him messages of abuse. Calls were worse though. Some where just heavy breathing, and some where people simply telling him he was disgusting or possessive and should let Eren be happy without him. The only calls he answered were Hanji's, because she'd show up in person if he didn't. He couldn't bare the look of pity in her eyes. Nor could he stand her lectures. He knew what he was doing wasn't healthy. He knew he needed to stop. He needed to rethink the situation, and formulate a new plan, but as soon as he'd start thinking about Eren... it was like something broke a little more inside of him. Eren was in his thoughts constantly, as he tried to remember every detail of every moment they'd spent together. The way Eren would light up when he learned something new, or the way he'd rush to hug him when he came home from work. He desperately didn't want to forget him. Letting the call ring out, two chimes dinged from his phone. Usually a missed call would only mean one, unless a message was left. With an exaggerated groan, he reached out and picked his phone up. His notifications informing him that there was indeed a message left. Whatever. He might as well listen to whoever had decided he needed to abused. Maybe it'd be a fucking joke. He could use a laugh. The moments of laughter in his apartment had been few and far between, without Eren there. Eren was the warmth and sunlight in his life, while Levi felt like he was sucking the life from everything as he continued his half life. Opening the message, he closed his eyes and hit play   
"Good Afternoon, this is Leah from Karanes Psychiatric Hospital. I am trying to contact Levi Ackerman, in regards to Eren Yeager. If you could please give me a call back on..."  
Karanes. He'd never even been there, let alone known anyone there. They had no reason to be calling, and he severely doubted Eren would be there... so why was his thumb hovering over the message? She hadn't said Eren was a patient. And Eren didn't need the kind of help those places usually offered... Anger flared in the emotionally exhausted alpha. This obviously had to be a prank call. It always fucking was. Erwin had urged him to remove the missing posters online, especially after Eren started getting all kinds of friend requests. He'd removed it on Eren's, but until Eren came home, he'd keep it online on his. Deciding Leah could go fuck herself, he called the number back with the intention of doing just that... only, it wasn't Leah who answered, and his mind panicked. He hadn't thought anyone else would. Shit. Fuck. He was fucking alpha, he wasn't supposed to get flustered like this  
"E-Eren Yeager..."  
He sounded like a retarded parrot as he stuttered the words out   
"Hello? Sir? I'm afraid I don't understand. Are you calling to talk with Eren Yeager?"  
God. She was still fucking talking to him. If he was her, he would have hung up or yelled at him for wasting her time   
"Yes..."  
"Eren is currently not able to respond. He is allowed visitors. Our visiting hours are between 10am and 2pm, Monday to Friday. And 9am and 4pm on Saturdays and Sundays. If you would like to leave a message for him, we are able to pass it on"  
"Wait. You have a patient named Eren Yeager there?"  
The woman seemed confused  
"Yes? Weren't you calling to speak with him? Sir, why don't you give me your name..."  
Levi hung up his phone. His heart racing as he scrambled out of bed. For the first time in 9 fucking weeks, he had news of Eren. And not just Marcel was dead in his freezer. Shit. Fuck. He needed to get to Karanes. He needed to pack. He needed to shower. Did Eren need clothes? Should he take clothes or a blanket? Eren loved his blankets. Eren couldn't wear a blanket. He should take both. And what about Titan? No. He couldn't take their cat... Titan would have to stay. Eren could see him when he came back.

The energy that flooded his body dropped as his feet came to a stop. The "what ifs" of the situation hitting him. The woman said Eren wasn't taking calls. What if he couldn't take calls? What if he got there and Eren didn't want him? What if he got there and Eren wasn't himself? What if they'd done something to him? What if he never wanted to see him again? What if he was dying... No. if he was dying, he'd be in a proper hospital. Why wasn't Eren in a proper hospital? Was he ok? Did he even remember him? He was too intoxicated for this. He needed a shower. He needed to cook his head and calm back down. Shower. He should shower and then pack. His hair needed a cut... and he'd have to message Erwin to say he was going away for a few days... he didn't want Erwin near Eren. Not when he didn't know the full extent of Eren's injuries, and not when this could be a wild goose chase. It could be Reiner or Bertholdt using Eren's name. Fuck. He should have asked for a description. If it was Reiner or Bertholdt, he'd have to do something. Get them out of there. And then? Then what did he do? Kill them? Actually... He didn't trust himself not to... but they could know where Eren actually was... Fuck. Why the fuck did he have to be dealing with this while drunk? This was his own fucking fault. He should have taken better care of himself. For Eren's sake. For Eren's sake he should have remained strong. Stronger than this. He was an alpha. Top of the dynamic hierarchy. Not some stupid beta...

Too drunk to drive, Levi booked a plane ticket to Karanes, being a last minute flight, it'd cost him a small fortune. He had no idea why. He'd never been to Karanes, but the cost of the flight to Karanes was the same as two tickets out to Paradis Beach... even when the flight was shorter. Having shit, showered and shaved, he'd felt more human than he had in days, until he was forced the enjoy the not so lovely recycled air of the flight. The wet smell seemed to cling to him, even once he'd gotten off the plane and made his way outside the airport, and into the first available taxi. Everything he needed had fit into his carry on luggage. Though it had been extremely tempting to pack Eren's whole wardrobe so his boyfriend would be comfortable.

 

*  
It was well after hours when the taxi finally pulled up in front of Karanes Psychiatric Hospital. Levi hadn't even considered booking a hotel or anything, his mind too preoccupied with the possibility of Eren waiting for him. Gathering his bag and Eren's backpack from the taxi, he climbed from it with a sigh. The place didn't look the nicest... at least not nice enough for Eren. The tall grey building looked like a prison, so much so, that even the sad excuse of a garden didn't inject any happiness into the environment. Walking up to the front door, he frowned at the fact it was locked. Pressing the intercom, he could almost imagine the grumpy woman on the other end  
"Visiting hours are over"  
"I was contacted by Leah regarding a patient. Eren Yeager?"  
There was a buzz, followed by a click and the door opened. Grabbing the handle before she could change her mind and lock him out again, Levi stepped into the foyer. The place stank of lavender, whoever cleaned or whatever was being sprayed, some shitty arsehole needed to learn moderation. Carrying his and Eren's bags over to the reception, the woman behind the counter gave him a bored look   
"Leah will be down shortly. I need you to fill this in. Any personal belongings will need to be left here. No phones. No laptops. No electronics. And you will be monitored for the duration of your visit"  
This definitely wasn't the right place for Eren to be. His boyfriend would be fucking terrified. Angered at the lack of empathy shown, and the lack of acceptable conditions. He nearly snapped the pen given to him to fill in the forms. The woman taking photo copies of his ID, then giving him a box to dump both his bags in. 

Ignoring him, it was a long wait before another woman appeared. Smiling, her brown-grey hair was piled up in a messy bun  
"Are you Levi?"  
Rising to his feet, Levi nodded. His arse long since numb from the single plastic chair available  
"Levi Ackerman. And I assume you're Leah?"  
"Yes. It's lovely to meet you. Now, I'm sure you must have a lot of questions of how Eren came to be in our care, but the first thing you need to know is that he is currently sedated. He was quite distressed when he was first brought in, so sedation was necessary in order for him to get some rest"  
Levi hated the fact his lover was sedated, but he could understand it  
"He has PTS, depression and severe anxiety. He also has a history of self harming without consciously realising what he is doing"  
Leah nodded, her smile didn't waver  
"The first thing he did when he settled was provide your name and number"  
That was his omega... he'd remembered... Levi's alpha swelled with pride   
"I'm his alpha. He lives with me in Shinganshima"  
"Shinganshima? That's quite a journey"  
"That's very true. Look. Are you sure this is Eren?"  
Leah sighed  
"To be honest, I saw one of your posts of social media. Eren is currently non-verbal, and other than your details, he hasn't made any other attempts to communicate. If he hadn't provided your name or number, I most likely would have ignored the post. The number of alphas who track down their omega partners..."  
Non-verbal was never good, Eren had said he was non-verbal before and that was after being fucking tortured. Ok. He'd need to be prepared for that... it was just... having his post ignored. That pissed him off. He was perfectly alright person, at a distance and not when people were trying to hurt Eren... or making a mess. Ok. He was short and shitty. But Eren brought out the best in him  
"I used to work as a paramedic. I know all about that"  
Leah kept up the small talk until they finally reached a plain grey door  
"This is it. He may be sleeping, we've administer his medication for the night"  
5pm seemed way too early for night meds. Part of him wanted Eren to be sleeping, but the bigger part was shaking with fear. His omega... his omega was supposed to be behind that door, but what if he wasn't? What happened then?

Laying on his side, with his back to the wall, the omega was snoring softly. A mass of messy brown hair poking up from under the edge of the blanket. Sniffing the air, he found he couldn't smell any of Eren's telltale scents, and for a moment, his heart dropped  
"Go on. Technically I'm supposed to wake him, but we haven't even been able to confirm his name. He asked for you, so he must have known you'd come"  
Feeling oddly jittery, Levi nearly tripped over his own two feet as he crossed to the sleeping omega. Gently brushing the hair back from the man's face, a smile formed on his lips at Eren's sleeping features, as his knees gave out. Wrapping an arm around Eren, he started to sob earnest tears. His brat was so warm and alive. Being so close, he could catch just the faintest traces of his scent, rousing the deep instinct to protect. It was his Eren. Beneath his hold, Eren gave a sleepy groan, turning in confusion, before bright green eyes opened wide. His boyfriend's happiness was overwhelming   
"Hey, brat"  
Reaching out, he cupped Eren's face. Eren immediately nuzzling into the touch, letting out a rumbling purr as he did. Opening his mouth, the omega's smile turned to sadness. Fuck. He didn't want Eren to start crying. He didn't want his omega to think he thought any less of him  
"It's ok. I know, and it's ok. We'll figure this out, but for now, what matters most is that you're ok"  
Nodding as he nuzzled, Eren kissed his palm, closing his eyes as if drinking in the touch. Fuck. He couldn't help himself. Leaning in Levi's lips found Eren's, the kiss soft and followed by a second and third. His beautiful boyfriend was back, and alive. The circumstances behind Eren's return would have to wait for another day. All that mattered was that he was back with him. Back where he belonged   
"I fucking love you"  
Eren snorted, throwing his arms around him as he nuzzled his cheek enthusiastically   
"This is the most active I've seen him since he was admitted"  
"Yeah. He's a ball of energy usually. When can I take him home?"  
Leah sighed softly  
"I'm sorry, we cannot discharge patients without the director's approval, and he won't be in until tomorrow morning"  
Tomorrow. Tomorrow meant leaving Eren here for another night and he wasn't ok with that. Eren didn't seem ok with it either, his boyfriend tensing   
"Shhh. I'm here. It's going to be ok..."  
Eren clung to him like there was no tomorrow. Levi's knees were starting to ache from the cold concrete floor, his right knee especially protesting the rough treatment   
"Let me lift you. Ok? Here, up we go"

Lifting Eren, Levi's knees groaned as he repositioned him, his omega hiding his face against his shoulder. Without thinking, Levi's hand moved down Eren's side, before resting in his boyfriend's lap. Brushing against Eren's thin shirt, he noticed the slight amount of stomach. Frowning in confusion, Eren sucked in a shuddering breath as Levi slid his hand across his stomach. The smallest of bumps beneath his fingers. Eren was pregnant? Levi's stomach dropped, the change in his scent obviously upsetting Eren as the omega started to sob against him. His alpha roared in anger. This was their omega. No one else had the right to be touching him... not like that. Not to impregnate him with their pup. That was Levi's right, and his alone. His anger shook his whole frame, taxing his alcohol taxed brain as he tried to rein it back in. This was his Eren. He loved Eren... even if Eren was now carrying a pup. He could never hurt him, or abandon him for something like this. Not that he could do either anyway  
"And this. We'll get through this. This doesn't make me love you any less"  
He'd have to make an appointment with Eren's doctor and organise an ultrasound. The last time they'd had sex... was what? 11 weeks. 11 weeks ago in the shower... Eren had been having a rough night with his post heat depression. His love had woken up a crying wreck... it was just before the Ball... They'd taken a shower together, so he could take care of Eren and get him calmed again. It hadn't been the best sex, Eren had cried and kind of put a dampener on the mood, but his lover had settled when knotted... If Eren was around the ten to eleven week mark, then there was a fair chance the child was his... Fuck... Eren was pregnant. This... was a thing. A big thing. He didn't know what to do for a baby! Anna slept like crazy. Did all babies do that? And what if it wasn't his? Would Eren want to keep it? His lover desperately wanted a child, and he wasn't going to take that from him... but if another alpha had sired the pup, it wasn't exactly likely to have been consensual. He was going to have to find some way for Eren to communicate with him. They could share a phone... and fuck... Eren hated flying and he was going to have to organise flights back... unless Erwin drove up to collect them. Eren would like that. He liked watching the world when they'd go for a drive. He'd probably have a million missed calls from Erwin. Fuck. That wasn't a conversation he was looking forward too  
"Levi, I'm sorry, but visiting hours are over for the day. And with Eren now having a name to his face, there are a number of forms we'll need you to fill in"  
Eren wasn't having it. The hold on him turning painful as the omega's finger tips dug in  
"Is there anyway I can stay with him longer?"  
He wasn't ready to let him go. Even if it was overnight. That was way too long  
"Well..."  
He understood she was just trying to do her job. But this was Eren. His Eren. His Eren who'd been missing 11 fucking weeks  
"I'm sorry. I'm already bending the rules as it is. We can do the bulk of the discharge paperwork tonight, that way you'll be able to take him earlier in the morning. There will still be a wait, but if everything is in order, you should be able to have him out of here before lunch"  
Lunch was 18 odd hours away. He didn't want to wait 18 fucking hours. But Leah was going out on a limb. He'd done patient transfers to places like this before, and they really didn't appreciate after hour visitors  
"Ok... Eren. Eren, I have to go. But I promise, first thing tomorrow. First thing tomorrow I'll be back"  
Shaking his head, Eren started whimpering  
"You know me. I promise you. I promise I will be back for you"  
Shit. Eren was melting down. He probably thought he was going to abandon him because he was pregnant  
"Eren, hey. Here, take my shirt. It's got my scent all over it... and probably some of Titan's fur. He's missed you like crazy"  
"Levi..."  
"The shirt's cotton. There's no buttons, rips, tears, zips or ties"  
He'd been through this before. Though this time he was on this side of the rules, not watching during patient transfers. He'd always gotten annoyed by the sight of those trying to break the rules, and now he understood  
"Alright. I'll give you two a moment"

Trying to pry a clinging Eren off was near on impossible and wouldn't have been able to be accomplished without the sedatives in his system. Losing strength halfway through his fight to hold on, it was a shit feeling to lift Eren off his lap. Taking Eren's thin top off, he couldn't help but stare at the small swell. Eren was too exhausted to do much but blink at him sadly, before Levi manhandled him into his shirt, and replaced the one Eren had been wearing over it  
"I will be back tomorrow. Very first thing. I don't care what they say, or what they do. I'm taking you home. You're my omega. I love you. I love you and you're coming back home with me. You and the pup. Ok? And no. I don't want to leave you. But Leah has to do her job, and if I cause trouble right now, they might stop me from taking you. I promise, I'll stay. I'll be with you until you fall asleep"  
Eren growled, but it was completely adorable. Laying him down, his boyfriend tried to fight sleeping. Levi finding his way back to kneeling, kissing and nuzzling into Eren's face as his fingers played with the omega's soft hair. He didn't want the moment to end. Slowly, Eren fell asleep. Dragging his thin blankets back up, he tucked Eren in. Ready to face the paperwork to get Eren the fuck out of here.


	46. Chapter 46

Finding the cheapest and closest motel to the hospital meant a half hour drive out there. It'd neared midnight by the time Erwin finally arrived, dead on his feet from his shift. Erwin hadn't been impressed that he'd flown out on his own, or that he hadn't even asked for some kind of identity confirmation before he had. Thankfully his friend was too tired to give him the full lecture, though he did warn that Floch had been informed and wanted Eren's statement over what had happened as soon as possible. That wasn't happening. Leah had already explained how Eren had been found wandering half naked and bloody, knife in hand. He'd already stopped talking by the time he was found, and after four days in hospital, and being "physically" sound, and mentally not, he was transferred. The Karanes police had nothing to go on. Even though the lived in the same fucking country, their police database wasn't liked to Shinganshima, and no expected the wandering omega to be the missing omega from Shinganshima. Taking copies of Eren's ID, Levi organised everything else, including payment for Eren's short stay. Leah was helpful, more helpful than he'd expected. It'd still taken hours to get everything sorted so all that was left to do was collecting Eren. They'd given him suppressants, in addition to sedatives, but being pregnant, Eren hadn't gone into heat. He'd asked for all Eren's medical records to be forwarded to Shinganshima hospital and to Eren's doctor. Mike would be able to let him know what Eren had been doped up with, and be able to advise him about any withdrawal symptoms or possible side effects that may affect the... their pup. It was his. It had to be his. And even if it wasn't, he'd still love the child. If that was what Eren wanted. He may be short, but he was a big enough alpha to know the choice was Eren's to make, and his role to support his boyfriend through it all. He'd neglected to tell Erwin that Eren was pregnant, purely because he still needed to get his head around it all. He had no idea how things were going to work now. His apartment wasn't big enough for two alphas, a pregnant omega and fat, arsehole of a cat. Not when Eren needed to have his own room and have his own safe space he knew he wouldn't be disturbed in. Erwin was getting evicted. But the still needed space for a nursery. It was funny. Parents used to raise their children in tents, and now every child had to have their own room. They were kids. They were lucky enough to... No. Not all kids were lucky. Eren hadn't been lucky enough to have a loving home, and now that were making a family together, they had to do it right.

The tea from the motel breakfast bar was like drinking weak piss. Weak piss that was lukewarm. Erwin fucking insisted on eating breakfast, while Levi couldn't help but turn his nose up at everything. He wouldn't have drunk the tea if he hadn't needed the wake up. Everything there was fucking filthy. He felt like he needed to shower, and he didn't know how Erwin could shovel down his breakfast like it wasn't cold slop. There was no fucking way he was bringing Eren back here for the night, even if the Karanes police wanted to talk to him. They could get off their fucking arses and drive. Shinganshima was only four and half hours away. Erwin had managed the drive just fine. He didn't even question when Levi told him to grab the first aid kit from the bathroom and to grab extra disposable vomit bags. 

The drive to the Institution was quiet. Levi knew what he had to do, and he was lucky Erwin would understand. When the alpha parked his Range Rover in the visitor parking area, Levi paused a moment before opening his door. Look to Erwin, Levi swallowed hard  
"I... uh. I know I've been an arsehole. So. Uh. Thanks for sticking around. It means... a lot"  
The end of his sentence sounded suspiciously like he was questioning his own words, rather than suffering from nerves  
"You are an arsehole. But when you lose your mate, it drives everyone a little crazy. I know Eren doesn't have your mark, but you two are intertwined on a level deep enough to be. Go get him, and bring him home already. You're better when you're with him"  
Levi raised an eyebrow. Since when did Erwin sing Eren's praises? He wasn't going to be impressed when he found Eren pregnant. Casting a glance to the back seat of the car, he hoped one blanket would be enough... he hadn't thought to ask Erwin to bring more. He fucking should have. Eren was going to be scared as it was. He already hadn't wanted him to leave last night, and that was overnight. How was he going to feel about being trapped in a car with Erwin?  
"Levi. It's alright. Just go get him. We'll figure out the rest on the drive home"  
Levi flashed a scowl, that Erwin completely ignored. Erwin was right. They needed Eren there to actually figure out the next move, and for that, he had to retrieve his boyfriend   
"Right. Right. I suppose he's waiting"  
It was only a little after 9. Levi had been up and read, sans breakfast, at 6. He'd wanted to leave at 8, but Erwin reminded him that these sorts of places tended not to open until later.

Despite knowing Levi was coming for Eren, they'd drugged his omega. Eren barely able to sit upright as Levi was forced to swallow his temper. They'd label Eren as dangerous and mentally unbalanced, and from the words of the director it seemed that was purely because he was an omega. The man seemed quite happy to dust his hands of the whole Eren topic, with the whole meeting over before it ever really began. Then again, he'd been made to wait a full hour before being called through, and if he'd been forced to spend an hour in the company of the shitty director, he probably wouldn't have been able to tolerate the bullshit. Each time he looked to the man, he wanted to tear his throat out with his teeth, despite the mess it'd make across the fake green pleather of the room. Maybe a little blood would have served to improve the decor. Eren's three and a half day stay was already costing a fortune. Money was what it came down to. Eren was occupying a bed that a long term patient could use. It was revolting. When everything was signed, Levi lifted Eren into his arms. His omega immediately letting out a soft sigh as he tried his hardest to snuggle into Levi's shoulder. With nothing of his own, there was nothing to return to them, so he snubbed the reception staff and carried Eren straight out.

Erwin was waiting by the car, several stubbed out cigarettes near his feet. Opening the door for him, Levi lifted Eren inside, before climbing up and nudging him along. Sighing softly, his boyfriend grabbed his blanket, trying to cover himself with it before Levi could even get his seatbelt organised. Omega's and their fucking blankets  
"You can have your blanket, but the seatbelt comes first"  
Giving him a pout, Eren still obliged his need for safety. Clicking Eren's seatbelt into place, then his own, he pulled his omega to his side. Where he belonged. Fuck. If Eren kept this wandering off shit up, he was going to have to get his boyfriend a collar and lead, or one of those straps parents used to wrangle in their wayward children. Humming, Eren rested his head on Levi's shoulder, his hand hovering slightly before Levi took it in his  
"I told you. I love you. You don't need to worry, ok. We'll get you back to Shinganshima. Erwin drove out so you wouldn't have to fly, and we can pick up your favourite snacks for the drive. I'm sure it's better than whatever they tried to give you for breakfast"  
Eren jumped as Erwin closed the car door, a whine of fear slipping from him  
"It's ok. It was just the door. Erwin was raised without the, so he's got no idea how not to fucking slam them"  
Nodding, Eren slowly relaxed against him. His boyfriend falling asleep against him in the time it took from Erwin to get from the rear passenger door to the driver's seat  
"Eren. It's great to see you"  
Levi let out an exhausted sigh, that was tinged around the edges with anger. Ok. So, maybe it was an angry sigh   
"They gave him medication this morning. The nurse said it was around 6, facility wake up time. It should wear off around lunch time"  
"Should we stop and pick up some snacks like you suggested?"  
"Yeah. That would be an idea. I have no idea what we have at home"  
"You're out of scotch"  
"I think I can live with that..."  
Smiling fondly at his boyfriend, Levi kissed Eren's hair. He didn't need the alcohol to fill the black hole that was his heart. Not when Eren was in his life.

 

Sometime after picking up snacks, Levi had fallen asleep. Jerked awake by the sound of the car tyres on gravel, he blinked tiredly  
"What the fuck do you think you're doing? Fucking shitty Eyebrows"  
"Eren needs to pee"  
Looking to Eren, his boyfriend nodded quickly   
"How the fuck do you know that?"  
Eren couldn't talk at the moment. Had his omega broken his silence? Only for him to miss it?  
"No, but he's come back with a new trick"  
He was too tired for this. Eren was the only person he'd ever slept that deeply for. The weeks of self-neglect having caught up with him not that he was safe. Looking him in the eye, his boyfriend slowly moved his hands. It took Levi a moment and a half to realise Eren was signing at him. Because of his job, he'd learned sign language, but Erwin was miles better than him  
"You tapped on Erwin's shoulder... and tried signing?"  
He wasn't completely sure he got things right, but Eren nodded  
"And you weren't scared?"  
Rolling his eyes, Eren undid his seatbelt. His omega wasn't scared of Erwin... that was a start. 

"Don't worry, I have no idea what he wanted when he started signing either. I don't remember him being able to sign before"  
"He couldn't. We talked about it before. He saw someone signing in a cartoon and found it amazing. Then he wanted to know why not everyone did it. He had enough trouble with reading and writing as it was... his signing seems pretty..."  
"Rustic?"  
Levi snorted  
"Choppy. I was going to say choppy. I wonder how he learned it?"  
"I don't know. Why don't you ask him?"  
Opening the car door, Eren climbed back in   
"Wait"  
Confused, his omega sat still until Levi pulled out the hand sanitiser from his first aid kit. Washing his hands would have been preferable, but peeing by the side of the road didn't allow for that luxury, and having pee and penis handling hands touching everything. Not enough parents thought of that fact. Or the germs from touching rubbish bins. Or public rubbish bins. The touches spread the germs, a child throwing rubbish out then touching food and their mouths. That was a nope. He knew not everyone obsessed to that degree, and he had become better since living with Eren. Yet, if he was going to keep holding Eren's hand on the way home, he wasn't holding a pee hand. That was it. Making sure Eren carefully covered his hands thoroughly, Levi nodded, before pouring out a small amount for himself and dumping the bottle back over the back seat and into the medical kit  
"Sign Language?"  
Eren nodded quickly, spelling out the next word with his hands  
"Father"  
"Your father taught you?"  
For a moment, Levi thought he'd voiced his confusion, only to find Eren staring at Erwin   
"Yes"  
That made no sense. Grisha had killed Carla, before disappearing. Eren had mentioned him in his code, but Floch had found nothing. The man was legally dead and no one was looking for him. Tapping his leg, Eren caught his attention again. His hands moving slowly and a little clumsy  
"Levi?"  
"I'm ok. Sorry, brat. I was just thinking how proud of you I am"  
Eren's cheeks reddened as he ducked his head. His white lie had obviously pleased his omega   
"We'll talk about this when we get home. Now you're awake, you need to eat something and drink too"  
Eren shook his head, before signing again  
"Nauseous"  
Pregnancy would do that. So would not eating and whatever drugs Eren had in his system. His body needed the nutrients, as did his pup  
"Something salty should be ok. I think theirs plain rice crackers in the bag"  
Eren wrinkled his nose  
"Don't give me that look. You'll feel better once you eat. Erwin can you pass the bag back?"

Erwin did as he asked, pulling the car back road and swerving like an idiot as he did while doing so. The alpha had grabbed some flavoured water and basic snacks. He knew Eren had a sweet tooth and a soft spot for chocolate and milk based drinks, but with so much sugar, they weren't exactly healthy. He'd have to take very careful control of Eren's diet if his lover was going to keep the pup. So many things could go wrong from nutrient deficiencies, especially a lack of folate. Over the counter pregnancy multi-vitamins would help a little, but what people didn't realise is that there was only so much of a vitamin a person could absorb. Finding the rice crackers at the bottom of the bag, Levi pulled them out  
"You don't have to eat them all and not all at once. Just take it slowly"  
He had no idea what Eren's diet had been like, it was very likely that he'd have to get used to processed foods again, but there wasn't a whole lot of options, nor was there any kind of self help book to guide him through what to do when his boyfriend returns from being kidnapped for a second time pregnant and mute. Just because Eren was relaxed now, didn't mean there weren't long nights of nightmares coming. And then there was the reality that Eren may keep whatever happened to himself. Like with Carla and with Zeke. He'd opened up, sure, but he'd taken a fucking long time to do so... and this time... Eren was pregnant... All this thoughts in his mind caused a slight tremor in his hands. Eren leaning back from him, looking like he feared him  
"It's ok. I was just thinking about food"  
Eren scrunched up his face and tapped the wrinkles between his eyebrows   
"I wasn't scowling"  
"Catfish Levi"  
Eren's signing seemed to "stutter" as he figured out his letters. Levi couldn't help but laugh lightly at the catfish reference   
"You're such a shit. Eat your snacks already"  
With exaggerated motions, Eren settled back into his seat properly, put his belt and blanket back around him, then opened his mouth   
"You want me to feed you. You're lucky I love you"  
"You should give him a general examination, now he's awake. Check his blood pressure..."  
Levi had been dying to strip Eren down ever since he'd laid eyes on him again. Purely to check his lover wasn't hurt, of course. But he didn't want to make Eren feelself conscious over his pregnancy, or risk upsetting him in such a confined space. Eren's muteness was likely psychological rather physical, without his voice, the ways he could last out were limited. Cutting Erwin short, he pulled out a cracker. They didn't even look appealing  
"Let him eat first. His blood sugar levels are probably rock bottom"  
Tapping Levi's leg, Eren still had his mouth open  
"Yes, I'm getting there. I had to explain to Shittybrows"  
"Hear how he talks to me. He's been an absolute arsehole without you"  
Feeding Eren the first cracker, Eren clearly didn't like them  
"Just eat a few, for me. It should settle your stomach"

Choking down half a dozen of the crackers, Eren started shaking his head when Levi tried to feed him more. Half a dozen was jack shit, but it was a start. It would have been a better start if Eren didn't clamp his hand over his mouth the moment he opened the lemon and mint water Erwin had bought. Snatching up a vomit bag from the back of his car, he gracelessly shoved it to Eren's mouth, his omega throwing up, while Erwin let out a sigh  
"He ok?"  
"Yeah, just keep your eyes on the road"  
"Let me know if I need to pull over"  
"He's fine"  
Rubbing Eren's back, his boyfriend whined softly  
"Are you done?"  
Eren nodded, Levi twisting the bag closed  
"Erwin, back window"  
Rolling his window down for him, Levi threw the bag out, then back up. Someone else could deal with it. His priority was purely Eren. Eren who scowled at him  
"It's fine, someone else will deal with it. Can you handle some water? Or do you want to sleep?"  
Eren closed his eyes, sleep it was then. One hand grabbed for his, while the other went to his belly. Tugging gently, Eren placed his hand on his stomach, both hands holding it there as he hummed. It wasn't the best angle for belly rubs, and the job he was doing was very half hearted, once again he forced to swallow down what he was feeling for Eren's comfort... Maybe he really wasn't as comfortable with Eren's pregnancy as he was trying to tell himself. But in his defence, he hadn't even known for a full day. Dropping his head against Levi's shoulder, Eren pressed a kiss to the spot, before humming again. At least his boyfriend didn't seem to have noticed his discomfort  
"Get some sleep. We'll be home in a few hours"

 

Eren slept until around half an hour out of Shinganshima, when his omega had woken in a panic. This time, Levi didn't make it time with a vomit bag, Eren throwing up in his lap, the majority caught by his blanket, while Erwin pulled off the road abruptly. The wet and watery sick stunk. Eren shivering violently as he slumped sideways. Grabbing him, Levi strangled himself as he tried to keep the blanket in Eren's lap and Eren upright   
"Levi?"  
"Help me with him"  
Getting Eren cleaned up, Levi stripped his soiled shirts off without thinking, exposing his small belly to Erwin. Opening his mouth, Levi shot his friend a glare. Now wasn't the time. Not when Eren had started crying over the mess he'd made, and was trying to fight Levi off  
"Well take him to hospital. I'll call Mike and see if he's on"  
"Don't mention... more than you have to for now"  
Erwin sighed, climbing out the backseat of the car, he took the soiled bundle with him. Undoing the belt strangling him, as well as Eren's, he lifted him omega into his lap  
"It's ok. I'm not mad. I've got you"  
Eren made a series of small squeaks as if trying to speak, before groaning  
"Don't force it. You've been gone for weeks, and you've been through a lot. Your voice will come back on it's own"  
Popping the boot open, Erwin rummaged through the bags Levi had brought out Karanes   
"Mike isn't on, but we both think he should go to hospital"  
Fuck  
"Is he on tomorrow?"  
"You want to wait the night?"  
Not particularly, but Eren was scared from vomiting. He needed to settle his frayed nerves first, before things could get any worse  
"For now. I'm not letting anyone who doesn't absolutely have to be near Eren, near him"  
Erwin gave him his "dad" look  
"No one is going to take Eren from you again"  
"He's fucking scared. The last thing he needs is someone unfamiliar running tests on him"  
"And what if it's related to complications from the pregnancy?"  
Eren went rigid. Fucking Erwin. Did he not just say not to say anything more than necessary   
"Eren, it's ok. He's just worried, in his way. I don't think there's anything to worry about. You've been through a lot, and I'll keep a close eye on you overnight. If you get worse, I'll take you in. I won't do anything to risk your pup"  
Eren gave a small nod, a measure of his trust in him  
"Levi, are you sure?"  
"Yeah. Just let him calm back down, and throw me a shirt for him, he's freezing"

 

*  
Titan was all over Eren the moment Levi lead him through the door. The stubborn shit had insisted on walking mostly unaided, a limp clear in his step. Following him in, Erwin moved past them and straight to the laundry, while Levi stood there holding Eren's hand  
"Welcome home. Do you want to take a shower? Or a bath?"  
Leaning down, Eren gathered Titan up, nuzzling into his fur as the fat cat purred  
"Or cuddles with Titan. That works. I'll grab you some clean clothes. Your rooms the same as when you left it. I'll grab your phone too, it'll make it easier to talk"  
Kissing Titan, Eren walked away from him, placing the tom down on the arm of the sofa. With a small smile, his boyfriend turned to face him, signing   
"Shower"  
"Go ahead. I know you know how to take a shower, but if you need help, knock on the wall"  
Eren rolled his eyes  
"Don't get shitty with me. Just go get clean"

Retrieving a set of sweats, underwear and plain shirt, Levi let himself into the bathroom. Eren oblivious as he rubbed his stomach under the running water. The sight hurt. Eren clearly loved the pup, that was probably not even Levi's. Did he also love the father? He'd said if someone appeared that Eren loved more, he'd step aside... but now he wasn't sure he could... and how was he supposed to ask him about what had happened? He hadn't seen a bonding mark on Eren's neck, but his long hair had covered the most of it... What if Eren now wore the mark of another? What if Eren had wanted to stay with them, yet couldn't? He'd been so full of love when Levi had picked him up, but was that how he really felt? Did he still love him? He couldn't fucking do this. Like a coward, he slipped back out the bathroom. Erwin was sitting on the sofa, Titan shunning him completely   
"Levi"  
"Don't. Just. Fucking don't"  
"He's pregnant"  
"I fucking noticed"  
"Was he pregnant when he left?"  
"Not that I know of... Did they take bloods after the attack?"  
"No. We didn't think it was necessary..."  
"So we don't fucking know"  
"What are you going to do?"  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
"Well, is Eren going to keep it?"  
"When did we have time to discuss it? I'm not going to tell him to abort it. It's his body"  
"It's obviously upsetting you?"  
"You don't fucking say. Look. Don't say shit about it around him. He's only just shown up again, and I don't need him running"  
"Levi. I know you want to do the right thing by him..."  
"I'm not kicking him out"  
"If it's too much, send him to stay with Hanji"  
"He's not a dog. I'm not sending him to stay anywhere. This is his home. We'll fucking work something out. I need to make him appointments..."  
"If you need help..."  
"What I need is 5 fucking minutes to think"  
"He needs a doctor's appointment, and an ultrasound. It probably wouldn't hurt to book him an appointment with Krista. Hanji's going to want to know he's back"  
"He needs fucking food, water and good nights fucking sleep before Hanji comes round"   
And his room needed to be cleaned. It was dusty as fuck in there... and he had no idea if Eren wanted to share a bed with him, or was even up to sharing a bed with him. It would better to let Eren have his own space... but what if he took it the wrong way?  
"I'll try and get him an ultrasound appointment. You call his doctor and Krista"  
"Fine. Pick something for dinner while you're at it"  
"You're paying"  
"I've been fucking paying for it, since I met you"  
Erwin snorted at his bad joke, his friend moving to the kitchen, while Levi found himself shutting himself in his room.

Eren came padding out the bathroom just as Levi finished up his calls. He couldn't get Eren a doctor's appointment for two fucking weeks, so it looked like a trip to the emergency department for him after all. It was the same with Krista. She's offered to see Eren after business hours, but Eren would feel bad about it all. Opening his bedroom door, the omega shyly stared at him. His bottom lip trapped in his teeth, while his wet hair was soaking his shirt  
"Everything alright?"  
Nodding, Eren looked to his phone on Levi's bedside table  
"Go ahead, it's your phone"  
Stumbling slightly, Eren was definitely favouring his right foot as he grabbed his phone   
"Does your left foot hurt?"  
Tapping on his phone, it was only seconds before Eren replied, looking pretty proud of himself as he did  
"Yeah. Can you take a look?"  
"Sure. Come sit up here"  
Limping over and climbing up, Eren placed both legs in his lap as he got comfortable  
"I just need the left one"  
Pouting, Eren pulled his right leg back. Taking his omega's left foot in his hold, he turned his lamp on with his free hand  
"You've got half a fucking tree in here. Didn't they take a look in hospital?"  
Eren took a few seconds to reply, Levi's phone pinging  
"They didn't want to touch me. Nasty omega germs"  
"Nasty fucking foot germs. Erwin!"  
Rather than appearing, Erwin yelled out   
"What?!"  
"I need the first aid kit!"  
"Ok!"  
Looking to Eren, he grumbled   
"You'd think he'd just come here. He's been insufferable since you left"  
Eren snorted, covering his mouth. Fuck. He wished his omega would just... speak. Grunts, growls, purrs, whimpers and whines. How was he supposed to get each meaning right each time? Popping his head around the corner, Erwin laughed  
"He's got you trained. Foot massage?"  
"He wishes. He's got a splinter the size of small tree in the ball of his foot"  
"Nature strikes again. Here, you hold his foot still and I'll extract it"  
"I do know how to remove a foreign mass"  
"And I'm the paramedic"  
Eren was straight onto that one. Levi's phone pinging again  
"Your job?"  
"I quit. It's fine. I'd intended to take time off, but yeah"  
"It's not fine. You loved your job"  
"I also loved you. If you hurt him, I'll punch you"  
Eren's face fell at the use of "loved" not love. He didn't mean he didn't love him, but as Erwin moved to come into their room, it felt like moment passed  
"Titan!"  
Coming running, the cat did as he hoped, serving as a distraction while Erwin gloved up  
"Can you move that lamp a little closer? The skins started growing over, so it's probably not going to feel great"  
"Then be careful"  
"I'm always careful"  
"Keep telling yourself that. Eren, kick him if it hurt too much"  
"Don't kick me. I'm the one with the scalpel"  
Eren ignored both of them, too wrapped up in Titan.

It wasn't a splinter but a small stone that was lodged in Eren's foot. It angered him that hospital staff would ignore something so fucking obvious. They were lucky he wasn't fucking suing them. Omega's had every right to the same healthcare as everyone else, including prime alphas. Covering the wound, it was like Eren hadn't noticed anything happening. He was still fussing over Titan, the cat standing on his lap and leaning up with his front paws on Eren's face  
"Do you want a specimen container for it?"  
"Don't be gross"  
"It's pretty impressive. I can't imagine that was too comfortable"  
"And if the hospital missed that, I wonder what else they missed"  
"Any luck with his doctor's appointment?"  
"Two weeks. Ultrasound?"  
"A week. And that was with sweet talking. Mike might be able to do something"  
"Yeah. We'll head in tomorrow. What's for dinner?"  
"Pizza"  
"Really?"  
"Yep. Right. I'll leave you two alone for now"

Eren pulled his foot back, moving Titan from his lap as he did. Taking up his phone again, Levi waited for the incoming message. He didn't know if he was ready for it... turning to face Eren, he watched him as he typed   
"You're not happy"  
"It's no your fault"  
"Should I go back to my room?"  
"You don't have to. How do you feel?"  
This texting thing was getting on his nerves faster than he thought it would  
"Tired. Really tired. Thank you for coming to get me"  
"I wasn't about to just leave you there"  
"I didn't know if you'd come"  
"Why wouldn't I?"  
"Because I left"  
"That wasn't your fault"  
No. That was Floch's fault... he didn't know what exactly had been happened  
"Your still mad"  
"It's you're, with an "re" on the end. And maybe. But not at you"  
"Is it the pup?"  
Levi went to object, but the words didn't come out  
"I didn't know about it. I'm sorry"  
"Eren..."  
"I get it. I won't say anything. I'm going to go to my room"  
"No. Stay here. I need to clean your room up"  
"It's fine. I can clean"  
"Eren"  
Ignoring him, Eren slipped off the bed and walked out the room, his phone left behind. A few moments later there was solid thud as his door closed, and most probably locked. Well. He'd fucked that right up.

 

Eren got changed in his room, his boyfriend coming out for dinner in a set of yoga pants and a hoodie. Keeping to himself, he drew his knee up and sat half hunched over, hiding his stomach. Nibbling on a few bites of pizza, Eren grabbed a bottle of water before retreating back to his room. He'd hoped a few hours would calm Eren down, but he was still in the dog house. This wasn't the reunion or welcome home he'd wanted for his boyfriend, and knew he was going to need to sack up. He hadn't wanted to have this conversation so soon, not until they knew how far along Eren was. Trailing after Eren, he left Erwin eating dinner on his own, letting himself into Eren's room, where Eren curled up under the covers, crying softly. Walking over, Levi slid in behind the distressed omega, wrapping one arm around him  
"I know. I fucked up, and I need to explain myself. First off. I'm happy you're home. I'm happy you're here and I want you here. Now. This baby. I am not mad at you for falling pregnant. It was just a shock and I handled it badly. It doesn't make me love you less. I promise you that and I'll be here for you and your pup. I love you, brat. I'll this little brat too. This is your home. And you belong here, with me. I've really... I've really fucking missed you"  
Nuzzling into Eren's neck, tears filled his eyes. Taking his hand, Eren squeezed tightly, crying harder as he did. Initially his alpha was angered over Eren's lack of reply to his heartfelt words, before remembering he couldn't. It had to be frustrating as hell for his omega. Sure, Eren had his days and times when he was quiet, but his lover could also be loud. Like when he laughed. He'd missed Eren's laughter and energy. The way he made dinner and was always happy to wake up, no matter the odd hours, to eat with him. He missed him. He'd missed him so fucking much.

 

Eren was plagued with nightmares, Levi unable to sleep because his love was so active in his sleep. The morning light came unwelcomed and with it, a morning spent with Eren in the bathroom. The omega vomiting while Levi sat behind him, massaging his shoulders the best he could. Titan sitting on the bathroom counter yowling at the pair of them, like he was yelling at Levi and demanding to know what was wrong with his human. With Erwin at work, they had the whole apartment to themselves. Moving from the toilet to the shower together, Eren exhausted against him as they showered. The first thing he did was check Eren's nape, in the guise of moving his loved hair out the way. He could have screamed in relief at the lack of a bonding mark. Kissing the spot, Eren groaned against him  
"Careful brat. I remember the last time a shower started like this, it ended with sex"  
Turning into his touch, Eren nuzzled into his cheek, one hand sliding down Levi's back  
"Brat..."

Sliding one hand up to grab Levi's hair, Eren turned to face him completely, his lips pushing to Levi's hungrily. For someone who'd been throwing his guts up and was exhausted, his omega was now most definitely horny. Breaking the kiss, Levi stared up into his boyfriend's eyes. Fuck. He couldn't do this   
"Eren. We should wait. Until after you've been to see Mike"  
Eren's eyes filled with, his boyfriend trying to escape him  
"Wait. No. It's not what you're thinking. I just... I need to know you're ok. Ok. Hey. I don't want to risk hurting you or the pup. Ok. It's not because I don't want you"  
Eren glared, Levi tugging his hip  
"Now, come back here. Once I know you're ok and the pup's ok... you won't be able to walk for a week"  
Locking eyes with him, Eren held up two fingers  
"Two weeks? I think I can manage that"  
Letting himself be pulled back over, Levi wrapped his right arm around Eren's waist whilst his left the other slipped to Eren's groin, ignoring his own desire to be buried in his omega, and instead focusing on giving Eren release. Eren would need a full STI test, and they'd need to use condoms until the results returned... Slightly caught up in his own thoughts, the hand job he gave his lover was probably the worst one he'd ever given. Still, Eren came with an appreciative moan, and Levi decided shower time was over for both of them. He was such a fucking hypocrite... he couldn't even enjoy Eren being home completely, thanks to this whole baby issue. He needed to know, and until he did, he needed to figure out how to stop being a dick.

Breakfast was the next problem. With a near empty fridge, he'd made scrambled eggs. Eren ran to the kitchen sink and started throwing up all over again as the smell wafted through the apartment. The eggs had to be evicted to the balcony, where Titan was happy to finish them, and the whole apartment aired. Plain toast had Eren frowning, but it stayed down, as did the tetra juice box he sipped down. It seemed like this pregnancy was going to be a steep learning curve for both of them. Hanji or Marco would be the best to talk to about the situation, but it was up to Eren when he told them, or if he even wanted to talk to Marco. Clinging to him after breakfast done, Levi got him dressed properly. He skipped shoes for now, so that Mike could check Eren's feet properly. Eren had acted like he hadn't felt the procedure at all, and that generally wasn't a good sign. Making sure Eren had his phone, he wondered if this what parenthood felt like? First you toilet the kid. Then you shower the kid. Then you feed the kid, and dress the kid, and get the kid out the door, without forgetting anything. Which he did. He forgot Eren's wallet, and it was too much effort to go back for. Eren didn't want to be out the apartment as it was, so if they turned back, he'd probably lock himself in his room.

 

*  
Olou had been standoffish, almost to the point of cold as Levi informed him Mike had requested the come in. Eren was half hidden behind him, a hand covering his mouth with his thumb and pointer pinching his nose  
"I don't know if Erwin told Mike you're pregnant, so don't be surprised if he knows"  
Mike could probably smell it on Eren anyway. Though, with how scared Eren seemed to be, it was better to forewarn his boyfriend  
"I don't know he warned him you were also non-vocal at the moment. Just use your phone, or you can sign"  
Pulling his phone out, Eren used his left hand to type, while maintaining his right hand's crushing grip on Levi's left. Holding his phone up, Eren sighed  
"Only learned letters not words"  
"Then use your phone if it's easier. Mike won't mind. It's not like you're doing this for attention"  
Eren erased his message   
"Ok. Ultra sound?"  
"Ultrasound is one word. I don't know. Erwin booked you an appointment, next week was the soonest he could get. I tried to get you in to see your doctor, but that's a two week wait. The same with Krista"  
Eren erased back to "ok". Across the room, Mike opened the door and called Eren's name. Jumping, Eren yanked down hard on his hand  
"You're ok. It's just Mike. He might be huge, but he's not scary"

Mike let them slip past him, taking a sniff of Eren as he did  
"Eren, it's nice to have you home. And congratulations on your pregnancy. Now, Erwin did mention that you're having some trouble with your words. Levi's going to be right by your side, but if you need to stop, or you're uncomfortable, do you think you can clap for me?"  
Clapping. That was new. Eren looked a little annoyed as he nodded  
"Excellent. If you'd like to follow me, I'll start by taking your vitals. Levi, do you have an ultrasound appointment booked?"  
"Next weeks. It was the soonest Erwin could get him in"  
"And a doctor's appointment?"  
"Two weeks"  
"Then we should get through everything we can today. Unfortunately, I don't think we can get an ultrasound in. But we should be able to do just about everything else. It's always strange when the ER is this quiet"  
No ultrasound. Fuck...  
"How's work been?"  
Mike shrugged, walking towards the nearest available cubicle  
"If you miss it so much, I'm sure they'd take you back"  
"Right now, I think I'd rather stay with Eren"  
"I don't blame you. Alright, Eren. Jump up on the bed for me"  
Letting go of Levi's hand, Eren climbed up on the examination bed  
"He needs a full examination. Erwin had to cut gravel out his left foot last night. Karanes didn't do him any favours"  
"I'll take a look at the too. Now, hoodie off for me. Blood pressure and temperature first"

Levi was kicked out mid examination. Mike must have picked up the slight anger he felt in his scent, that arose over the sight of Eren's bare stomach. With blood and urine samples taken, they'd been working down to examining Eren's more intimate areas. Eren had said he didn't remember having sex, but not having sex and not remembering having sex were two completely different things. It was a long wait outside the curtain, before Mike finally drew them back. Eren was dressed again, with his knees up to his chest  
"Levi, can I have word?"  
Well, this wasn't going to be good. Following Mike away from Eren, they stopped a few metres away  
"Spit it out"  
"Right to the point. Eren is physically fine. The wound on his foot with heal by its self, just make sure it's kept clean. There was no sign of sexual trauma or infection. His weight is good, and there is nothing visibly wrong with his throat. He mentioned that he felt his muteness stemmed from psychological trauma rather than physical. The thing in worried about is the type of suppressant he was given while in care. While there are suppressants designed for pregnant omegas, the one he was given was more for general use. And the kind that would usual induced a heat for him. Now, while it won't affect the baby, it may cause Eren some discomfort. He may have days where he can't stand to talk about the pregnancy at all. The dose he was given was designed to last about two months, and from visual examination, I would say Eren is a little over two months. Meaning he'll be around 4 to 5 months when it starts to fade. Do you know if the pup is yours?"  
"I'm not sure. We had sex during Eren's post heat. I was hoping you'd be able to get him ultrasound. I love him... but it's thrown me for a fucking loop. I never imagined he'd turn up pregnant"  
"Have you discussed options?"  
Levi gave a dry laugh   
"Two days ago I get the call that he's in Karanes. Yesterday we drove back, and today he's here. No. He obviously fucking loves the pup. My alpha... we want the pup, and for Eren to be happy. I can't deny it's jealousy though"  
"I can give you a dose of suppressants"  
"No. No. I told Eren I'd be there both of them. I'm just trying not to get my hopes up"  
"Maybe you should? Eren knows it makes you uncomfortable. What he needs is as little stress as possible. Even if it's early in the pregnancy, let him nest if he needs to. Or even encourage it. He wouldn't tell me what happened, other than that he did receive professional care for a few weeks of his pregnancy. You had been talking about having a baby before Eren went missing"  
"No offence, Mike. But I don't think you get it. Eren went missing last time and nearly fucking died. This time he was found covered wandering around and covered in blood, as well as pregnant. I don't know what to think or say"  
"Tell him that"  
"Great lot of help you are"  
"I'm serious. He's going to be struggling knowing you're not happy he's pregnant. Either you accept the pup, or ask him to abort it, or you end your relationship. As for sex, you'll need to use protection until the results come back. That goes for both oral and anal. Most omegas find their sex drive skyrocketing while pregnant. Sex is fine, knotting will help with his emotions and anxieties, just be sure not to be too rough with him"  
"I didn't ask about sex"  
"No. Eren did"  
Levi internally groaned. Eren used to be so innocent  
"You don't need to look so disappointed. You have a healthy omega, who loves you. Plus, he's pretty easy on the eyes"  
"That's not the problem"  
"No. It's the pup. I can't smell another alpha on him. But you won't know for sure until the ultrasound. I've given him an injection for his nausea, and if his morning sickness hadn't passed by the time he sees his doctor, I'd recommend mentioning it then. Bring him back if he spikes a fever, has cramping or becomes dehydrated..."  
"And that's it?"  
"Yep. The drugs in system should be completely flushed within the week, other than the suppressant"  
"Thanks, Mike"

Eren was playing with his phone when Levi walked back to him  
"Mike says it's home time. He'll let us know the results of your tests, but for now, it's a full bill of health. You ready to get out of here?"  
Eren nodded, the omega carefully climbing off the bed. Noticing that his foot had been bandaged, Levi lifted Eren off his feet and into his arms. His omega giving him an enquiring hum  
"We don't want your dressings getting dirty. Though, we do need to do food shopping on the way home. Erwin eats like a fucking horse"  
Hopefully there were shoes or at least a pair of socks Eren could wear, in the car. The dressing would probably be fine, thanks to the bandage around it, but that was beside the point  
"Food and then home. When you're up to it, we'll have Hanji over. Anna's grown so much"  
Eren nodded, wriggling in his hold so he could hide his face against Levi's neck. There was no way the position could be comfortable, but Eren stayed curled up like that all the way out to the car.


	47. Chapter 47

They'd over shopped. Well and truly. Levi telling Eren to grab whatever he felt like, and Eren doing just that. Rather than go for highly processed food, Eren picked the healthier options. His omega naturally didn't extend that luxury to chocolate, grabbing three big family sized blocks of his favourites. By the time they reached the checkout, Eren was fading on his feet and Levi had never seen a shopping trolley so full. 

 

With enough food to last them a month, Levi found he had to get creative. Meat and vegetables soon got repetitive, and like when he'd been trying to get Eren eating properly, Eren was back to eating 6 small meals a day. If he'd been working, he wouldn't have been able to be there the way he currently was for his omega. Eren's morning sickness was still hitting hard, and he was still struggling with being intimate with his omega. It was like Eren needed his attention every second of every day, and honestly as much as he loved being the centre of Eren's world, he was spending so much time comforting him that they were still yet to talk. Every time the conversation vaguely turned towards what had happened, Eren would clam up. Or crawl into his lap for attention. They could talk about anything else... just not what happened while his boyfriend was awol for 10 fucking weeks.

Then there was Erwin. Erwin was still sleeping on their sofa. He didn't know how to evict him though, not when Erwin wouldn't take his not so gentle hints of telling him to "fuck off back home". It felt like Erwin had taken it upon himself to chaperone then in their own fucking apartment. The one time Eren had decided he wanted to be intimate had been on the sofa. His boyfriend climbing into his lap and claiming his lips, despite the fact Levi was actually interested in the movie there were watching. That soon went out the window. His alpha confused, but also aroused by the fact Eren wanted him badly enough to make the first move. Not making it off the sofa, Eren was riding him. His boyfriend was only wearing one of Levi's oversized shirt, that didn't hide a thing. Meaning It did absolutely nothing to hide the fact they were fucking when Erwin let himself in... just as his knot popped and Eren came between them with an unmistakable groan of release. In his defence, Eren was always vocal during sex, and just because his words weren't working didn't mean his moans weren't. He hadn't heard a fucking thing. In fact, Erwin was the one who should have fucking known it wasn't safe to come in. Gasping and panicking, Eren had tried to climb from his lap, almost managing to tear himself off Levi's knot. It wasn't a great feeling for either it them. And Erwin stood there for a full thirty seconds before closing the door to them. Intimacy went out the window after that. Eren wasn't even sleeping in his bed, with him. Not all the time. He was like Titan. He'd start the night off in his own room, wander into Levi's at some point, and then back to his own.

So for Levi. It was a painfully long fucking week that left him fucking exhausted. 

 

*  
Eren was on autopilot as Levi got him ready to leave. The alpha's nerves were sky high. His anger barely contained as he spent the whole morning snapping at every little thing. Titan had vomited across he kitchen floor. The toaster had decided to die, and then go magically flying, leaving a trail of crumbs as it did. Drawn by the noise, Eren had sleepily stumbled from the bathroom. Looking to the mess, he'd given a squeak and darted into his bedroom.

Sending Erwin in to check on him, Eren was hiding in his bed. The omega refused to come out, so Levi had to go in. Getting Eren up, dressed and sipping water so he'd have a full bladder for his ultrasound, he nearly yelled at him. He also didn't miss the fact Eren's phone was flat, and signing to him wasn't getting anywhere. The little shit had picked the worst day to be a brat. He knew he was fucking nervous about the ultrasound, but that didn't mean he needed to shut everyone out.

They were barely on time. He'd had to drag Eren along, despite how worked up Eren had become during the drive. Called through the moment they got there, the technician proceeded to bombard Eren with questions. Happily asking if this was Eren's first ultrasound. If he was excited. If this was first baby, and how far along he thought he was. Getting no answer, the man fell silent, leading them into the room. The dark atmosphere wasn't what Eren was expecting, the omega coming to a dead stop  
"It's fine, brat"  
"Is he alright?"  
"Yeah. He's just nervous. He's also currently mute, so don't take his silence personally"  
There was a coolness to Levi's words, but once said, he couldn't exactly take it back  
"Right. Alright then, Eren jump up on the bed for me and we'll get started"

Getting positioned, Levi stood by the bed. His hand on Eren's shoulder rather than holding his hand, as his alpha internally melted down. He was about to see someone else's pup, growing inside his boyfriend. It left an unbearably bitter taste in his mouth, but that paled when compared with the bad taste his own actions and thoughts were causing. He'd never thought it would bother him as much as this... and he couldn't deny his feelings emotions from Eren's pregnancy scare were bleeding into the situation. They'd wanted to experience this together... and now, some other alpha had taken that from him. Wriggling as the gel was smeared across his stomach, both he and Eren were holding their breaths   
"Ah. Here we go. Eren, meet your baby"  
The tiny human in the sea of black was the most amazing thing Levi had ever seen  
"You look to be about 11 weeks... here, do you want to hear your baby's heartbeat?"  
Tears filled his eyes. The strong sound stirring his alpha  
"Do you know the approximate date of conception?"  
Levi cough to clear his throat, choked up on emotion   
"Around the 10th of April or so"  
The technician nodded, typing on his keyboard   
"All these measurements are looking good. There's a little more fluid than I'd expect. But nothing to be worried about. At this stage, everything looks to be going smoothly. Are we doing the genetic screening tests today?"  
Eren looked up at him for an explanation   
"Yeah... yeah. Don't worry. It's just to make sure nothing is wrong with the baby"  
Normally his obstetrician would take care of that, but Levi hadn't made that appointment as he was still yet to see his doctor. His brain couldn't math  
"Wait. Just for clarification, conception date..."  
The man looked like he'd heard the question a million times before  
"Looks about right for April. Is there some question over the father?"  
"N-no"  
For all the times to fucking stutter. Eren looked hurt, his eyes shifting back to the screen  
"Do you two need a moment? We can take a blood sample and perform a DNA test"  
"No, it's fine..."  
He was going to be a father... and suddenly he was kicking himself all over again for his behaviour and attitude. Burying his face in Eren's hair, he breathed in deeply. He'd been such a fucking arsehole to him. This was his pup. He'd been a shitty jealous idiot for nothing.

Eren hadn't loved the placenta sample being taken. Levi taking his hand and having it crushed during the procedure. He'd perked up when receiving photos from the procedure, but fallen silent all over again as they left the room. Stopping by the bathroom for Eren's sake, his omega brushed him off and ignored him completely when he came out. Letting himself out ahead of Levi, Erwin rose to great the omega, while Levi was left jogging to catch up to the pair as they walked towards the exit  
"So? How did it look?"  
"I'm the father. I'm going to be a father. We're having a pup"  
Erwin's smile was huge as he pulled both him and Eren into crushing hug  
"Congratulations! That has to be a relief"  
Eren shoved Erwin off of him, his eyes filled with tears  
"I told you I never f-fucking slept with anyone else!"  
His boyfriend's voice was gravelly from lack of use. Erwin's smile dropped, while Levi looked away in shame  
"You said you'd love me, and my pup. But you hated it when you thought it wasn't yours"  
Coughing, Eren's hand went to his throat  
"Eren, rest your throat. It's going to feel weird talking again"  
"I'm done"  
Levi felt like those two words went right through him  
"What do you mean you're done?! You go missing and show back up in a mental facility, pregnant. You're not fucking talking about what happened and you weren't fucking pregnant when you left! How am I supposed to take all this?! I fucking you love. I love you and you left again. So of course I'm going to have trouble adjusting to the fact you're fucking pregnant. Of course I'm going to be fucking jealous someone else touched you. You never fucking said anything. Do you know how worried I was about you? Do you? Do you have any idea what I went through? I thought you were dead and then you showed up in the middle of nowhere. So yes. I didn't love that pup. But you didn't give me a chance. If I had time to think or five fucking minutes to myself, I might have been able to sort out how I felt, but every waking moment I've been by your side"  
"We should take this outside"  
Erwin was right, they'd attracted attention. But Eren wasn't done  
"Fine. You want me gone again. I get it. I want to go Hanji's"  
Eren rasped out the words, grimacing in discomfort   
"Look. I think you both need to calm down. Eren, Levi loves you. And yes, he lost his mind when you disappeared again. You've had time to get adjust to this pregnancy, and he hasn't. It's not easy for an alpha to accept their omega has been touched by another, and with no idea how far along you were, Levi couldn't control the anger his alpha has been supplying. He wanted a future with you, so he's been trying to figure out how you felt about this pup and pregnancy. Especially after what you both went through when you thought you may be pregnant. If it was from a non-consensual encounter, he was preparing to support you, no matter what you chose. Everything he's done, has been for you. Think about what he's been through"  
Eren burst into tears, hugging himself tightly. Levi was slightly in shock from Erwin being able to explain things so easily. It was everything he wanted to tell Eren. Scratching the back of his head, Levi tried to pick his words carefully, while ignoring the hurt in Eren's eyes  
"Look. I was a dick. I was jealous at the idea it wasn't mine. I do love you, Eren. And I'm sorry for being an arsehole. It's just a lot. All of this is a lot. It's all happening so fast. Shit. I sound like a shitty idiot. Do you get it? I'm sorry"  
"It..."  
Eren swayed. Erwin catching him before he fell  
"I think that's enough for now. I'll carry him"  
Using one arm to hold Eren, and a knee to balance him, Erwin rescued the photos from Eren's ultrasound, passing them to Levi as Eren continued to cry. He wasn't supposed to physically exert himself, or get too worked up. His boyfriend's current state was just another incident on his current roll of fuck-ups. He really hadn't meant to act like dick, or lash out simply because he was feeling overwhelmed. Eren was back from wherever he'd been... he'd survived something else that seemed like it might be as terrible as surviving Zeke's death. He used to be so damn careful with considering Eren's wants and needs... Fuck. First thing was first   
"Erwin, let me take him"  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yeah. I'm the one who hurt him. I'm the one who needs to make it up to him"

Eren was surprisingly willing to be lifted into Levi's hold. Hiding his face against Levi's neck, he nuzzled into him   
"Eren. I'm sorry. I really do love you brat, and you have no idea how much you mean to me. I was in the wrong. Not you. Let's go back to our apartment. Our home"  
Eren nodded against him  
"I love you. I promise I do"  
Their pup was just fine. Eren's test results had shown he was perfectly fine, with no STD's. Things were looking up for both of them.

 

*  
When Erwin left for work, Levi was an alpha on a mission. He wanted to show Eren that he was a fool and how sorry he was. Running a bath for his napping omega, Levi went to extra effort with dinner, and dessert, and found up the candles from their last romantic night. He was going to be a father. Not that he wouldn't have loved Eren's pup, once he'd had time to get his mind around everything. The way he'd behaved was shameful. He'd already taken a photo of Eren's ultrasound, which was now his lock screen background. On his laptop, he'd pulled up baby things online, and when Eren woke he intended to show him just how committed he was... even leaving the door to the spare room open. Cleaning out and organising Isabel and Farlan's things was going to be hard, but he needed to look towards the future. A future where he and Eren were parents, and building a home together, with their child.

When dinner was done, he topped the bath up with hot water, which would cool as they ate. Heading into their bedroom, Eren had shifted to his side of the bed. His omega cuddling into one of his pillows and holding it tight. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he stroked Eren's hair. He really needed a hair cut. Sighing in his sleep, Eren nuzzled into his touch. Green eyes slowly blinking open   
"Hey, beautiful. I made dinner, can you eat?"  
Coughing, Eren scrunched up his nose  
"You don't need to force your words. I made you a hot chocolate, it should help ease the pain"  
Placing his over Levi's, Eren held it as he sat up  
"Look. I really was a fucking idiot. And I'm not expecting you to forgive me right away. I let my jealousy blind me to what was really important and hurt you. I meant it though. That I would love you and love this pup. It was just a lot to process all at once. I love you, Eren Yeager"  
Lowering his hand, Eren touched his throat   
"Don't force it. If you want to sign, that's ok"  
Eren nodded, taking a deep breath and slowly signed out  
"You rejecting me hurt"  
"I know. I'm sorry"  
"Felt... like... you... lied"  
"I promise that I didn't mean to make you feel like that. I... was overwhelmed and didn't handle it well"  
"No shit. Felt like you didn't trust me"  
Levi was grateful Eren was slow at signing. He wouldn't have been able to work things out without the spaces in his words  
"You I trust. It's the world I don't. I've made dinner, and run you a bath. And there's something else I want to talk about too..."  
Seeing Eren frown, he shook his head  
"No. Not like that. Nothing bad"  
"I love you, and you hurt me"  
Eren wasn't going to make this easy  
"And I'm going to have live with that regret for the rest of my life. When it comes to you, I lose myself"  
"You're an arsehole"  
"I know. I'm an arsehole who's completely in love with an omega 15 years younger than him. For now, I won't ask what happened, but answer me just one thing. Did they hurt you?"  
"No... not the way you think. No one touched me"  
"If they did... I don't know what I'd do. When you disappeared. All I could think was that I'd never see you again. In my dreams, you were dying and it was my fault"  
Shit. He was getting teary, just thinking about it. Reaching out with his left hand, Eren cupped his cheek, rasping out  
"L-love you"  
Pulling Eren into a tight hug, he nuzzled into his neck   
"I love you so much. More than I ever knew possible"  
"Silly alpha"  
"I am. Alpha's are supposed to be strong and cool. But I've shown you nothing but my bad sides"  
"Love all of you"  
"You too, Eren. All of you and our pup. I still can't believe it's ours. I'm so fucking proud and proud of you"  
Eren slipped his trapped hand free, wrapping his arms around him. Shuffling backwards on the bed, Levi lifted Eren with ease  
"It's dinner time, brat. We have the apartment to ourselves. I don't know how we're going to get Erwin to move out... he seems to have taken up permanent residency on the sofa. It's even getting an Erwin shaped dent"  
"S-send him to Hanji"  
Eren dissolved into a fit of coughing, hacking so hard Levi wouldn't have been surprised if there was blood in his spittle  
"Rest your voice. We can talk properly once you're used to talking again"

 

Dinner went down well. Eren picking at his vegetables, but finishing his plate. Deciding to let him settle before dessert, he carried his omega from the dining table and over to the sofa. Fetching Eren's favourite blanket for him as Titan climbed into Eren's lap. Covering up his two loves, he broke his own rules, placing his heels on the edge of the coffee table so he could balance his laptop in his lap  
"I thought we could look at some things for the pup? I... I think it's time we cleaned up the spare room"  
Eren looked over the sofa to the open doorway and shook his head  
"No. I will always have my memories of Isabel and Farlan, but it's time to move on. You and this pup, you're my family"  
"They're your family too"  
"They are. And always will be. You made me see that"  
Taking Levi's hand, Eren slipped it under the blanket, placing it against his stomach  
"Do you... is this ok?"  
His boyfriend rolled his eyes   
"I still can't believe it"  
Eren opened his mouth and shook his head  
"It's fine. But you do know if I keep rubbing your stomach, we aren't going to be able to look at baby things, or get you into the bath"  
Leaning over, Eren lifted the laptop from Levi's lap  
"No laptop?"  
Shaking his head, Eren next evicted Titan and the blanket, climbing up and into his lap, before stripping his shirt off. Taking both his hands, he interlaced their fingers. Levi wasn't sure what he wanted, but Eren just smiled  
"I can't touch you if you're holding my hands"  
Poking his tongue out, Eren climbed from his lap backwards, pulling him along with him. With his omega continuing to walk backwards, he was lead towards the bathroom   
"You could have just said you wanted a bath"

Releasing his hands once they were in the bathroom, Eren's hands skimmed up Levi's side, tugging at the fabric of his shirt  
"Oh, I'm take a bath with you?"  
Nodding in agreement, Levi let his shirt be pulled free. Eren pressing a kiss to the tip of his nose as the fabric fell to the floor. He loved Eren being confident like this. With all the shit he'd been through, he could easily be crying on the bathroom floor. Instead, he was still going. Even if he couldn't use his words, or hadn't been able to speak, signing had been his way of showing the fire inside him was still alive. Thumbing the waistband of Eren's pants, his boyfriend squeaked as he tugged him forward, stealing a kiss. He was so fucking lucky. This time Eren had come home in one piece. Not happy with just enjoying the simple kiss, Eren's hands went to Levi's jeans, popping the button before he swatted them away  
"Let me take care of you?"  
Eren sighed at him  
"Hey. I'm taking that as a yes, whether you like it or not"  
Pulling Eren's pants down suddenly, his omega jumped and shivered with a pout  
"Cold? The water should have cooled enough by now, but check it before you get in"  
Eren rasped something that sounded suspiciously like "arsehole", before stepping towards the bath. Dipping his toes in, he sighed   
"All good, brat?"  
Giving him the thumbs up, Eren sank down into the bath, while Levi stripped his pants off and gathered up their dirty clothes. Joining Eren in the bath, his boyfriend settled between his legs, taking his hands and placing them on his belly  
"Yes, you can have belly rubs. I'm pretty sure you can have anything you asked for and I'd say say yes"  
Spreading his legs, Eren sank lower into the tub, his head against Levi's shoulder as he started purring. Rubbing circles against the swell, Eren began to mouth at his neck. Mike had said Eren would be horny... and the test had been that morning...  
"Eren, this is going to be completely unsexy, but I need to know if you've had any bleeding, cramping or pain?"  
Shooting up in his lap, water sloshed over the side of the tub as Eren shook his head, eyes wide in fear  
"Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. The test may cause some discomfort. You're not really supposed to have sex after the test. It's been 8 hours, and if you haven't had symptoms, so it should be ok"  
Eren sighed, shooting him a glare before leaning back into his hold  
"I didn't mean to scare you. But if anything happened to you or the pup, I don't know what I'd do"  
Levi nipped at Eren's ear, his omega moaning before he'd even begun to slide his hand down between Eren's legs.

Opening Eren slowly, the insane amount of slick pouring from his love made it easy. Wanting to make it as painless as possible for Eren, he waited until he could easily work three fingers inside before pulling Eren into his lap and pushing into his heat. Kissing and marking his boyfriend's back, the sex started slow and sweet. Not like the fast and hard fuck they'd had on the sofa. Spilling more water onto the already soaked floor, Levi needed more. Guiding Eren so he was kneeling with hands clutching the bath taps. The change of position made it so much easier to thrust in properly, and deeply. Eren moaning and mewing as Levi built his rhythm, their pup still in mind as he tried to restrain his base desires. Gripping Eren's hips, half a dozen hard thrusts emptied the bathwater below the half way mark. Feeling his knot starting to form, he lost himself in the few moments as he chased his orgasm. Eren was always so tight and wet for him. The inside of rippling as he mewed for him. Driving up with a hard thrust, Eren's hands slipped from the taps as he came, Levi catching him around the waist and pulling him back into his lap as knot caught, both of them coming all over again. Purring loudly, his boyfriend kissed the side of his head, while nuzzling at him with way too much energy. He couldn't help but snort, slightly drunk on Eren's affections  
"I'm not going anywhere. We have all night"  
Purring happily, Eren didn't stop nuzzling him. Pushing him back playfully, Levi sighed. Boneless from his orgasm, and confused how Eren could still be so energetic from two orgasms so close together   
"What am I going to do with you? I swear, you must be crazy or something to be this happy with someone like me"  
Taking his hand, Levi thought he was going to place it back on his belly, instead his omega drew on his palm  
"I love you"  
Well, it was I "heart" you  
"I love you too. Now quit squirming. The purpose of a bath is to relax"  
Laughing softly, Eren dropped his head on his shoulder. A stupidly cheesy smile on his face. With him no longer working, he'd stopped taking suppressants. Every mood swing he'd had, had probably been smelt by his omega. Now, like this, he could smell himself. His rate slow and lazy, his body and mind completely relaxed. He could smell his happiness and contentness with the situation. They'd come the long way round the block, but now they were finally here.

When the bath water grew cold, Levi helped Eren from the bath, then up onto the bathroom counter. Making sure there was no signs of damage, outside the usual signs of sex, he peppered kisses to Eren's inner thighs. The scars that had once littered them had begun to fade, and he couldn't be prouder. His boyfriend laughed at him, taking his face in his hands   
"I'm being serious here. Are you alright? In any pain?"  
Eren let go of the left side of his face, to tap his throat  
"Panadol should be alright, for that. Hot drinks will also help, and only talking small words to begin with. But you know I meant are you in any pain from sex"  
Eren shook his head, his long hair clinging to his shoulders   
"You need a hair cut, and we'll need to go shopping for clothes. I know how much you love that"  
"F-loch?"  
"Erwin's been keeping him at bay. But yes, he does want your official statement over what happened. Karanes police will also want to know, for their records"  
Eren cast his gaze down  
"Hey. I'll be with you. You're back now, and you wouldn't be back if you were still in danger, right?"  
Nodding, his omega still seemed deflated  
"I've made dessert. Why don't we cuddle up on the sofa?"  
He was dying to ask what happened, especially when all he had was assumptions and speculation. All Eren had given him was that someone called "father" had taught him the very basic basics of sign language and that he'd been looked after during their time apart. He still had no idea why Eren had been covered in blood, or how that had even happened. Why Karanes? Where was Reiner and Bertholdt in all of this? Had it been there blood he was covered in? Did Eren kill them to escape? It was like when he'd taken Eren in for the first time, all over again. But this time, he knew Eren would one day tell him. Like he had his past. He just had to learn some patience.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Levi can't smell Eren like he used to. To him, his boyfriend's scent is barely present. Like how Eren's scent is usually perceived by others. It's thrown him and his alpha off completely. He used to take so many cues from Eren's scent, and now he's lost without it. Our alpha was in struggle town.. but next chapter... we hear from Eren


	48. Chapter 48

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a small update for now...

Eren's meeting with Floch hadn't gone well. His barely used voice still hurt his throat each time he spoke, and he'd left Levi waiting outside in the living area. Being pregnant, he felt wrong having another alpha in his bedroom, but there were so many things he couldn't tell Levi yet. Not without clear answers about just what had happened at the compound. He had no idea if anyone had survived, outside of the few omegas and children, he and his father had been able to sneak off the property. Compared to living there, being with Levi again was a luxury. And he knew how fucking lucky he was to be home with both he and his pup in one piece. His father had been the first suspect his pregnancy, then had gone to great lengths to hide it from everyone else. It was probably the only kindness Eren could ever remember the man showing him, though it was also probably for his own personal gain. If they'd found out he was pregnant, it would probably have been a great way to limit his father's actions even more. Eren couldn't say he understood anything his father told him, or what motivated him, only that he still didn't think he loved him like a good son should. Not with what he'd done to his mother. Floch had asked so many questions. Not stopping as he forced him into a panic attack. Blindly gripping his chest, he'd fled to Levi, his alpha wrapping his soothing scent around him and coaching his breathing back to normal, while evicting Floch from their apartment. If he had to ever see him again, it would be way too soon.

Once Floch had left, and his panic attack had turned to vomiting, Levi stayed with him on the bathroom floor. They'd been to see his doctor, who'd ordered a fresh lot of blood tests... much to his disgust. He was sick of needles. And, despite how sweet it was, he was sick of the fuss. Levi would do everything for him. Since discovering that he was indeed the father of the pup, his alpha was now smothering him with affection, trailing after him from room to room like a lost puppy. That's why he didn't tell him he'd messaged Hanji. She's scolded him for not messaging sooner, then in the same sentence told him that he was coming over for dinner on Friday night... which happened to be the same day as Floch's visit. He hadn't told her about his pregnancy, instead wanting to surprise her. Being able to tell someone the news himself felt good. Erwin's heart might have been in the right place, and Mike had to know because of the whole doctor thing, but he'd wanted to keep it to himself for a little longer. Especially with how hard it'd hit Levi. He'd tried to make up for the awkwardness with affection. His stupid words had left him from the moment he'd seen his father, so he couldn't really convey everything he wanted to tell Levi properly. After he'd returned, he'd tried speaking a few times. When he was alone in his room, but hated the squeak in his voice. He sounded stupid, and the words felt weird. Then realising that Levi wasn't being completely honest about the pup and his feelings towards it, he felt so fucking angry. An anger that halted his words again. He felt like Levi should have known better to think he'd just let himself get pregnant to another alpha. If that had been the case, he would have found some way to take care of it... he didn't want to be carrying anyone else's child. And the sense of pride and the thrill of it being Levi's, had been crushed to dust by his alpha's constantly foul mood.

By the time it came time to head to Hanji's, he was exhausted. His courage waning, and his anxieties flaring. He'd never appreciated all the unwanted emotions and thoughts his omega had forced him to endure, yet the loss of its solid presence had shattered something inside of him. Without its voice, he felt lost inside his own body, only really feeling connected when having sex with Levi. He couldn't make fun of Marco anymore, not when his own sex drive was out of control. All Levi had to do was breathe, and his dick sprung up. Slick all but gushed from him each time his boyfriend was close, and more than once he'd taken "matters" into his own hands, in a desperate bid not to seem too needy. It was struggle. Living in a community that had used and abused omega's had driven home his awkwardness around sex. He craved the touch of Levi, while feeling dirty. Like he shouldn't want it, or accept what the changes he was going through so easily. The pads he was forced to wear almost all the time barely lasted an hour or so before being soaked, and he felt guilty over Levi having to replace everything he was using. He loved him. Even after he'd hurt him so deeply. But it was all a bit too much and he hoped that Hanji would be able to act like a wall between them, at least for one night.

Asleep on his feet, he'd dozed off while Levi drove. His alpha had helped him dress, because he had no idea what to wear anymore. Something as simple as going to Hanji's shouldn't have sent him spiralling like it had. Waking to find Levi staring down at him, he'd completely slept through his boyfriend pulling up in Hanji's drive way  
"You should have woken me"  
Wincing at the pain in his throat, Levi reached out and wiped the drool from the corner of his mouth   
"We only just arrived"  
Eren was pretty sure they hadn't only just arrived. His seatbelt was already undone, and Levi's jacket was covering his torso   
"Liar"  
"5 minutes, is close enough. Erwin's already here"  
Ugh. He was tired of Erwin living with them  
"Don't give me that look. You told me to send him to Hanji's, it wasn't my fault he came back"  
"Can't you just go back to work already?"  
Helping him down from the Range Rover, Levi wrapped his arm around his waist  
"Trying to get rid of me already?"  
Eren coughed. Fuck. He was sick of this. His father had poked around at his throat, before deciding his muteness was psychological and teaching him the basics of signing. Now he was wondering if the man hadn't done something   
"Eren?"  
"It's ok. Just tender. And no. But I'm back. I just want things to go back to normal"  
"I don't think there's such a thing as normal. Not when you're around"  
"I'm serious"  
Pausing, Levi sighed  
"Is that something you want? Me returning to work?"  
"I... I think you need it"  
"I need it"  
"You do everything for me. I want you to have something for yourself"  
"I'll think about it"  
That was something. He hoped Levi actually would. His boyfriend couldn't chase after him forever, and it wasn't fair to keep him home all the time. Once the pup came, then they'd be both busy taking care of them. He hadn't confided his fears over it being an omega. Levi might accept his dynamic, but Eren didn't want to condemn his child to a life of fighting for existence  
"Are you ok? We don't have to go in..."  
"'m ok. Just... a little anxious"  
"You don't have to tell Hanji more than you're comfortable to. And if you don't want to tell her you're pregnant, that's ok to"  
"I'm nervous"  
"You'll be ok. I'm here, and if you want to go home, all you have to do is say"  
As nice as it was, Eren really wished Levi would stop saying things like that. It made him feel weak. He was done with feeling weak. He wanted to be strong. Strong for Levi and their pup. Forcing a smile, he nodded  
"I know. Let's head in"

"Eren!"  
Screaming his name, Eren couldn't help but retreat as Hanji launched herself at him  
"My sweetheart! I've missed you! I can't believe I had to wait this long to see you. Let me look at you!"  
Stepping between them, Levi ended up the one caught in Hanji's hug  
"Back off, Shitty Glasses. You're scaring him"  
"Sorry. Sorry. I'm just so happy to see you"  
Shoving Hanji off, Levi shook his head  
"He missed you too. Now, are you going to let us inside? Or do we have to spend the whole evening out here?"  
"Come in, come in. God. I'm so happy you're back"  
"T-thanks"  
Yeah. Talking had to stop. It hurt way too much and now Hanji was frowning at him  
"Ignore her. It's fine"  
How was he supposed to ignore the look on her face? Tugging at his jacket, he felt the need to scratch or do something to relieve his bubbling anxieties   
"I was just..."  
"Eren is perfectly fine. He's been checked over by Mike, and his own doctor. And he's had a chat with Krista"  
Hanji threw her hands up in surrender  
"Message received. Anyway, we should get back to Erwin and Anna. She's got him wrapped around her little finger"  
"Good. You can keep him. He refuses to move out. The arsehole owes me a new sofa"  
Cackling, Hanji finally moved out the way, leaving Eren to close the door behind them. Trailing after Levi, his eyes widened at how big Anna had become in his absence. The little girl was beautiful  
"Yep. Just about four months old now"  
Fuck. It was July already. With everything that happened, it was hard to believe it was nearly four months. Yet, at the same time, if someone had told him he'd been gone for the last 10 years, he wouldn't have been surprised. Retrieving Anna from Erwin, Eren soon found himself with his arms full of the baby girl  
"Anna, this is uncle Eren"  
Deciding not to talk and risk scaring her, Eren smiled down at the girl  
"I need photos! Make yourselves at home. Levi, do you want a beer? How about you, Eren?"  
"I know what you're like. We'll stick to water"  
Hanji poked her tongue out  
"Spoil sport. This is a party. One won't hurt"  
Eren looked to Levi in desperation   
"You can't get my omega drunk"  
"Aw. Eren's great fun to drink with"  
"I know, and maybe some other time. But for now, water will be fine"

Carrying Anna over to the dining table, Eren held her close. He was in complete and total awe over how much she'd grown, and how much she looked like Hanji. A mini-Hanji... god. One Hanji was bad enough  
"Soooo. What's it like being back? Is Levi still being a grumpy arse?"  
Busying herself with getting two bottles of water out, Eren was relieved to see she wasn't cooking. With no scents of food in the house, he hoped that meant they were ordering in. He could at least use dodgy food to cover up smell nausea  
"I'm not grumpy. And things have been going alright"  
Eren nodded, Erwin sighing   
"I guess these two idiots forgot to tell you Eren can't talk at the moment"  
"I noticed the wince when Eren was speaking before. What's up, honey? Is your throat sore? I can take a look for you"  
"Hanji, drop it"  
"But if he's in pain, he should get it looked at. He sounded squeaky"  
Fuck. He wanted to scratch... or scream. Screaming would have helped... and helped make him look even more like a basket case  
"Hanji, it's fine. Eren lost his voice for a bit, and is getting used to talking again"  
"Oh. Did something happen... No. Never mind. We'll make do"  
So two and two clicked for Hanji, while Eren's stomach dropped. He didn't want to be treated differently. Placing the bottle of water beside him, Hanji dropped a kiss on Anna's head, who immediately reached for her mother. Lifting Anna from him, Eren was at a loss for what to do with himself  
"Actually, Eren can sign"  
Couldn't Erwin shut up?! A distressed whine fell from his lips before he could stop it   
"Alright. The next person who picks on my omega is getting hit. Leave him alone"  
"Really! That's so cool"  
Well, after 8 weeks or so of his father's forced lessons, he should be able to at least remember the letters. He'd even met an omega who'd helped him a little. He hoped she was alright, wherever she'd ended up   
"I had no idea you could sign. You're just full of surprises"  
Yeah. She had no idea because he couldn't fucking sign when he'd left. This whole dinner thing felt like a terrible idea. Rising from his seat, he walked towards the glass doors that lead to the side of the house  
"Eren?"  
"Need air"  
Signing at Hanji, Hanji looked to Levi  
"He's fine. He just needs a moment"

He'd been under no delusions that he could just return to his old life. Not being pregnant and not having gone missing again. And though he knew Hanji didn't mean anything bad at all by the things she said, he still felt like he needed a moment to himself. Sitting on the back steps, he wasn't surprised when Levi trailed after him  
"Are you ok?"  
Outside, it was too dark to really sign  
"Y-yeah. I know she means well"  
"She does. She's been hounding me to come visit you. She was really worried for you"  
"I don't need the guilt"  
"I. Sorry. I don't know what to say"  
"It's ok. I knew coming back wouldn't be easy, but there's so much I'm not ready to talk about"  
Shit. He'd just scolded himself for being weak, and now he was tearing up again. Slinging his arm over his shoulder, Levi pulled him into a hug  
"I know. You don't have to talk and you don't have to sign. I'll have a word with Erwin, but I wanted to see how you were doing first"  
"I don't think I can tell her"  
There was half a moments silence  
"You don't have to. Like I said, we can tell her when you're ready. Just use tonight to get used to her crazy all over again"  
"I fucking hate this"  
"What?"  
"My voice. Feeling like I'm back at the start all over again. My voice"  
"I like your voice. You probably haven't noticed but you've gotten better"  
"Really?"  
"Yeah. You were much more raspy before"  
"It still feels weird"  
"It's fine. Hanji's just in mum mode"  
Eren nodded, Levi kissing his temple   
"Let me know when you're ready to head back in"  
"Should go before Erwin opens his mouth again"  
"That's a fair point. I've already told him not to talk about the pregnancy. Not until you're ready. But I don't know if he'll take that to mean with people like Eld and Gunther, instead of Hanji"  
Eren groaned, why did all these big mouthed people have to be the ones to spread his news? It wasn't fucking fair   
"I really want to be the one to tell people when I'm ready. I'm sick of it"  
"I know. I'm sorry. I wasn't going to tell Erwin, then he noticed your stomach"  
"I know he's been there for you, but I can't take much more. I can't even be mad because he doesn't mean to be a dick"  
Coughing, he wrinkled his nose at the feeling   
"Yeah. I think there's a fair bit I need to talk to him about"  
"Levi, don't kick him out... just because of me"  
"I'm not. He needs to start moving on with his own life too. And he's not going to do that on our sofa"  
Kissing his temple again, Levi rubbed his arm and gave him a quick squeeze, which for some reason his body decided he needed to slick over   
"Let's head back inside. It's colder out here than I thought it'd be"  
"Mmm..."

Lead back inside, they interrupted whatever conversation Erwin was having with Hanji. Eren felt guilty for interrupting them, and then paranoid when they both looked to him at the same time. Levi squeezed his hand firmly   
"It's ok. Why don't you go sit down, in the living room? I'll join you in a minute"  
Even if this "chat" was necessary, he didn't like knowing it was about him  
"Is everything ok?"  
"Yeah. He'll be ok. Erwin, can I talk to you?"  
Ignoring the look on Erwin's face, Eren tried not to trip over his own feet as he wandered over to the lounge room. Sinking down on the sofa, he drew himself into a ball, resisting the urge to place his hand on his stomach. He didn't want Levi fighting with Erwin, or with Hanji. He especially didn't want to fight with Hanji. Joining him, it was like the woman could see right through him  
"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or anxious"  
Looking to him, Eren wanted to reply, but was too self conscious about his voice. Pulling out his phone, he opened a new message. Typing to her would have to do   
"I know. My anxiety isn't good"  
Showing her the message, Hanji nodded  
"I really didn't mean to. I'm just so relieved your back. After you went missing, we were moved to a safe house for the first month. Levi wasn't coping and Erwin had to step in"  
Erasing his message, he typed another  
"Yeah. I heard. He needs time"  
He hadn't heard about the safe house, not that he remembered  
"And I guess Erwin crashing on your sofa isn't helping?"  
"Not really"  
Hanji nodded at his message  
"Levi's not going to be too blunt is he?"  
"No. He said they needed to talk. I told Levi he should go back to work too. I don't want to be treated differently"  
"I can understand that, but you were gone for two an a half months, after a death threat was made against you. We don't know what's safe to say and what's not"  
"Then just talk about what I missed? Not about me"  
"I don't know what to say. Levi fell apart. He quit his job, and spent all his time searching for you. To the point he could barely function. He started drinking more and more, and every time we tried to talk to him, he'd shut down"  
It wasn't his fault he ended up taken again. He'd expected to die. Not for Bertholdt and his father to show up... nor did he expect that he'd ever have to kill another person, or be involved in their death. But here he was. And gone was Bertholdt  
"I didn't ask for this"  
"I know. It was just a horrible situation"  
"Then why do we have to talk about it?"  
"Because talking helps"  
"Not when you're not ready"  
Hanji sighed, Anna was curled into her as if she was already sleeping   
"I suppose you're right. You haven't missed much here. Moblit's grandmother tried to take my chance at having another child away"  
Eren raised an eyebrow. He didn't like the woman, but he didn't think she'd do that... and he wasn't sure he understood  
"Sorry. What?"  
"Moblit and I had been considering going down the IVF path. He had sperm frozen, which came out at the reading of his will. I didn't even know he had one. He expressed his desire that I use his sorry if I wanted to have another child, should something happen to him. His mother didn't like it at all. She called it disrespectful"  
Eren let out a sign of his own, echoing Hanji's   
"That's rude. Moblit wanted a family with you"  
"Thanks, Eren. I was really angry with her at first, but I guess I can see where she's coming from now"  
"I can't"  
"That's because you don't have children. You'd do absolutely anything to protect your child. She didn't want me possibly tarnishing Moblit's name, or relying on them for money"  
"Moblit wanted this. This is his choice. He wouldn't have wanted kids with you, or for you to have more children if he didn't believe in you and that you'd be a good mum"  
Hanji smiled sadly  
"At the moment, they're still in storage. But like I said. You haven't been pregnant, nor or you a mother"  
What the fuck did that have to do with anything? Maybe he was stupid for not getting it, but wasn't it Moblit's and Hanji's choices? They'd dreamed of having a family. Moblit absolutely adored Hanji, and Anna was so adorable. It was clear that Moblit was the love of Hanji's life. The only ok thing he could pull from her reply was the fact Erwin hadn't told her his secret... and after hearing that, he wasn't telling her either. He might not have been pregnant, but he'd been there for Marco and for Hanji, as well as a dozen or so omega's at the cult. And their children. He'd unfortunately been made to sit through births. Like. Multiple births. He wasn't exactly clueless  
"I guess I'm stupid for thinking that love and decisions should be made by the two people in love"  
"Sadly, it doesn't work that way when one parent dies"  
Who the fuck decided that? Instead of replying to Hanji, he sent an "SOS" to Levi.

Jogging into the living room, Levi visibly relaxed when he saw he was ok. Walking the rest of the way to the sofa, he dropped a kiss on Eren's hair  
"What did I miss?"  
"Eren and I were just talking about Moblit. How did things go with Erwin?"  
"He's moving in with you"  
Hanji snorted, before looking over the sofa to Erwin who was standing near the kitchen counter  
"You can stay if you clean"  
Erwin shrugged  
"The lovebirds need some alone time"  
"Can you blame them? Eren just came back"  
Eren was right there! They didn't need to talk like he wasn't   
"Levi's thinking of coming back to work though"  
"That's something. Have you called through for dinner yet?"  
"I thought you were"  
"Aww. No. See. This is why we couldn't live together. Neither of us would ever remember to eat"  
Sitting on the arm of the sofa, Levi ruffled his hair  
"You'd remember to eat, you're just both too stupid to organise the food part"  
"Well, if Eren wants a job. I wouldn't mind help around here"  
"I'm not leaving him with you"  
"More like borrowing?"  
"He stays with me"  
Hanji pouted  
"No fair"  
"Tough shit. Get Eyebrows to help you. You're not taking my boyfriend away"  
Again. He was right there. Whining at Levi, his alpha gave him a fond smile  
"Ok. Hop up, you can sit in my lap"  
Or Levi could sit in his... he wasn't that big. Annoyed, he grabbed Levi by the side of his jeans pulled him round the side of the sofa  
"You want me to sit in your lap?"  
Nodding, Levi sighed as he did what was requested. Eren knew he loved it. He also knew his boyfriend loved it when he was the small spoon, and the way he fitted into his hold was perfect. Wrapping his arms around his boyfriend, he rested his chin on Levi's shoulder. He'd missed how safe Levi made him feel  
"Look at you two. Erwin, grab my phone, I need a photo"  
"No, you don't need a photo. Stop picking on him"   
"But Levi, you never sit in his lap. Erwin, tell him I'm right. How often does Levi sit in Eren's lap?"  
"Far more often than you think"  
Hanji sighed   
"Fine. I'll let you off. But only if I can get some with of you holding Anna"  
"Give her here then"  
Hanji looked just as shocked as Eren felt as Levi reached out for Anna  
"Erwin! Get the camera!"  
"Don't yell. You'll end up scaring her too"  
Maybe it was because he was going to be a father, that Levi was happy to lift Anna into his hold? He'd always thought Levi would make a great father... But the way Erwin and Hanji both looked so shocked, pissed him off. It wasn't like his alpha was a heartless monster. Sure, he'd called kids dirty little shits and petri-dishes, but that didn't mean he would go as far as to reject a child, let alone the daughter of his second best friend. Kissing Levi's cheek, he hummed softly. Anna was staring up at Levi like he was the most fascinating person ever. Her thin blonde-brown hair sticking up in every direction thanks to Hanji's mussing   
"You look good like that"  
Eren shot a glare at Erwin, Hanji giggling as she snapped her photos  
"Eren would have to be pregnant first. I don't think they're in any rush. Not with him only just coming back home"  
Levi tensed his hold  
"That's enough photo's. I think she needs a nappy change"  
Taking Anna back, Hanji blew a raspberry on her belly  
"She sure does. I'll be right back"

Taking her seat, Erwin watched Hanji leave  
"Why don't you just tell her?"  
"She already said I wouldn't understand what being a parent is like. I don't want to talk about it"  
Levi turned in his hold, frowning at him in concern  
"When was this?"  
"While you were talking to Erwin"  
"Hey... we can go home. If you want to"  
"No. I just don't want to talk about it. My throat hurts"  
"Hanji would be happy for you. I don't..."  
"I don't want to talk about it!"  
"Erwin, that's enough. It's our news and when Eren is ready, we'll talk about it"  
"Phone"  
Levi passed him his phone, as it was easier than trying to find his own. It had probably fallen into the abyss of no return, also known as down the side of the sofa. Smiling at the ultrasound photo, he opened up a new message  
"I think you're going to be an amazing father. Our pup is lucky"  
Showing the message to Levi, Levi kissed his forehead  
"Thanks, brat"  
Clearing the message, he typed a new one  
"Erwin and Hanji can go suck a dick if they think otherwise"  
Laughing at his message, the smile on Levi's face was worth it  
"I'll remember that. Are you sure you feel ok? I don't mind swapping places"  
"I like holding you. You feel good"  
"You don't feel too bad yourself"  
Eren started typing out his next message, but changed his mind. He needed to get off the whole "baby thing". Simply, typing "food?", he held it to Levi   
"Erwin, have you ordered dinner yet?"  
"I actually ordered it before you guys arrived. I was messing with Hanji"  
"It better not be pizza"  
"No. I ordered from that Italian place. The one Moblit used to like"  
Eren couldn't remember that... but maybe that was a part of the man's life he hadn't know  
"Italian okay, brat?"

Eren nodded, sliding Levi's phone back into his pocket for him as he hid his face against Levi's arm. He waited for someone to say something, but it just felt awkward. He didn't know why, but the sudden silence between the three of them had made his heart start to race. Was Erwin not talking because of him? Was he in the way? Did he hate him for coming back? He didn't really care for dinner. He'd just wanted to see Hanji again. Her and Anna... This wasn't how things were meant to go. Hanji was supposed to talk about the things he'd missed. Erwin was supposed to talk to Levi about returning to work. Now everyone had to keep their fucking mouths shut because they didn't want to set him off. He felt sick to the very bottom of his stomach. An involuntary whine escaped his lips, a kind of deep whine that called for his alpha to help him. Instead, it caused Levi to climb from his lap  
"Eren, are you ok?"  
Why did he have to keep asking? Why was Hanji taking so long? He wasn't ready to talk to her about what had happened? Was she actually mad at him? Had she somehow guessed he was pregnant and that was why she'd been giving him so much shit? Reaching for his left wrist without thinking, his fingernails didn't have a chance to find purchase before Levi was taking his hand  
"Eren. You're ok. It's ok"  
It wasn't ok. He wasn't ok. He could laugh and he could smile, and fuck he was so happy to see Anna was alright... but what about the children from the cult? And why was he even thinking about this?! They'd... he'd...   
"Eren. You need to breathe for me. Can you breathe for me?"  
He'd tried to help them. He'd wanted to free them. To stop them being killed for nothing. Shit. Shit. Talking with Floch had brought it back. This was a bad idea. And now this silence had pushed him over the edge. He knew Levi and Erwin were thinking about him. His paranoia telling him they were judging him. Erwin probably thought he was stupid for not telling Hanji he was pregnant. Probably laughing at her words mentally. And Levi. Levi kept asking him if he was ok. He was trying to be ok. They weren't in any danger. His father... his father had seen to that. What the fuck was wrong with him?! He'd just been fucking talking and smiling. Crouched in front of him, Levi was staring up at him. His boyfriend blurry through his unwanted tears. He couldn't breathe. It was that feeling of suffocation before vomiting. He was going to be sick  
"Not here"

Lifted off the sofa, Levi strode over to the kitchen sink. Standing him up, the alpha pulled his hair back for him as Eren vomited  
"Levi?"  
"It's fine. He's fine. Give us a minute"  
Of course Hanji came back for this. Leaning heavily on Levi, he closed his eyes. His stomach still rolling, despite having purged itself of its contents   
"You're ok. You're ok. Deep breaths for me. In through your nose"  
"Is he alright? Can I do anything?"  
"Panic attack. He's had a long day, and had to talk to Floch this morning. This dinner probably wasn't a good idea"  
"He didn't say..."  
Of course he hadn't. He didn't want to talk to Floch. He'd only done so because it needed to be done. He needed to know the omega's from the cult were safe. Or rather "The Church", as they were "officially" called. It'd been three weeks. Not that he really remembered the first week, not up until Levi had come for him. He'd been sure it was some kind of hallucination, and that he was dying when he'd first set eyes on his boyfriend again. Then the relief had hit. The relief that Levi was really alright. That his alpha had recovered and found him. He'd been so scared they'd killed Levi, and he'd never see him again. That's why he had to be ok. Every moment with Levi was something incredibly precious to him. Fuck. He was so fucking tired  
"That's it. You're ok. I'm here. Keep breathing like that, for me"  
Using his free hand to gently rub his stomach, Levi's affections slowly anchored him. He hadn't realised his breathing was evening out. Not with how tired he was. He was just starting to fall asleep standing when the doorbell rang, scaring the crap out of him  
"It's fine. It's just dinner. Here, rinse your mouth, then we'll sit"

He felt old, shuffling around with Levi guiding him. Helping him sit, his alpha made sure he was in the corner, while Levi between him and Hanji. Erwin moving to sit on the sofa opposite so he could divide dinner   
"I think there's some bread rolls, do you want to try one of those? It might help settle your stomach?"  
"That's a good start"  
Everything did look pretty good, but he was way too tired to eat and other than the offered roll, he didn't think he could stomach such rich food. When he'd been with "The Chuch", everything had been simple food. The alphas got to eat the "good" food, while omega's were on a very basic diet of vegetables with a little meat. Since coming home, things had tasted weird to him. He didn't know if it was because of his pregnancy or because he'd spent two months nibbling on carrot sticks, but everything sugary that Levi had introduced him to, now tasted way too sweet. His father had insisted that the diet omegas were fed at the compound needed to be that way. That highly processed foods and sugary foods messed with brain chemistry and hormone levels. To be he honest, he'd tried to forget everything the man had said. He couldn't just forgive him for killing his mother and being with the man again, had left him physically sick. If it wasn't for his determination to get to home to Levi, he never would have kept his head down and waited for an opening. Every time they were called to "help" and omega, he tried his hardest to commit everything around them to memory. He never would guessed his own pregnancy would be the opening he needed, or that his father would give his own life to make sure he escaped.

 

*  
Levi knew the day had been hard for Eren. He'd almost cancelled on Hanji and now he wished he had. Even though Eren was smiling, there was a hurt in his eyes that left Levi aching to take him back home. With a panic attack that had clearly been simmering in the background all fucking afternoon and with Hanji and Erwin both piling shit on the pair of them, this night of "fun" had turned to torture for his omega.

Picking at his bread roll, Eren hadn't said much. Or rather, he hadn't tried to say anything. Not by texting or signing. Levi could have punched Hanji for bringing up Eren's voice. His omega was already self conscious about it, even though his words had become so much more clearer and no longer sounded like a death rattle. Feeling Eren nuzzle into his arm, Levi looked down to find the bread roll abandoned. A very sleepy Eren was trying to sleep against him. Eren had no idea how adorable he could be, or how beautiful he naturally was. Abandoning his own meal, he coaxed Eren into his lap. Burying his face against his neck, Eren let out a small purr. Having quit work had meant he'd come off of his suppressant, something that Eren seemed to thoroughly enjoy when snuggling into him. It only took a few moments for his boyfriend to fall asleep in his hold  
"Sorry guys, I'm going to take him home"  
Hanji abandoned her own meal to turn to them  
"Are you sure? I don't mind if you both want to stay the night"  
"No. He's pretty wiped out. I wouldn't be surprised if there were nightmares tonight. It's better he sleeps at home where it's familiar"  
"It's really no problem"  
Hadn't he just explained that Eren would feel safer sleeping in their bed? Even if Eren was awake to tell him what he wanted, he severely doubted sleeping here was going to make the list  
"No. I'm taking him home. Erwin can you grab my keys. I don't know where his phone's got to either"  
"See. You should just stay"  
"Not tonight"  
Rising from the sofa, Levi's knees screamed at him. Fuck. Getting old was bullshit  
"Levi..."  
"For fucks sake, Hanji. It was you and Erwin who sent him into this second attack. He doesn't need anymore shit being piled on right now. He's been back for two fucking. It took fucking months for him to open up the first time. He's not ready to talk"  
In his hold, Eren whimpered. Shit. Now he'd gone and upset Eren. Hanji sucked her lips in as if trying not to laugh. Taking a moment she let out a long breath, smiling for some unknown reason  
"His phone fell onto the sofa"  
Oh. Well. Whatever. It was Hanji's fault for being so repetitive about staying   
"Erwin, can you grab it?"

Carrying Eren out to his car, Erwin held the door for him while he got Eren into the passenger seat. His boyfriend automatically trying to hold onto him as he pulled away to do his seatbelt   
"Will he be alright?"  
"Stressed to the point of vomiting. Sure. He'll be fucking fine"  
Levi's tone was filled with bitterness. Without the subtle cues from Eren's scent, he felt as if he'd missed the signs of a panic attack building. He fucking hated that it now took days for Eren's scent to fill a space. He hated the person who'd given Eren the injection and he hated that they all thought he fucking needed it in the first place   
"I'll smooth things out with Hanji"  
"If you tell her, I'll turn you into a dickless wonder. We both know how much you like sex"  
"I still don't know why..."  
"Because it's Eren's news. He wants to be able to be the one to everyone when he's ready. He doesn't have a whole of friends to be telling. I don't think he's even talked to Marco this year"  
"Well, being a parent..."  
"Is no excuse to stop being a decent human being"  
"I was going to say "a lot of work""  
"Eren tried his hardest to be the best friend he could for Marco, and for Hanji. This dinner, it was too soon"  
"You can't protect him forever"  
Levi growled, standing up straight so he could stare Erwin in the eye  
"Fucking watch me"  
Jogging out to join them, Hanji had piled up the half filled containers from dinner and "gifted" him the left overs. Honestly, he doubted they'd get eaten. But took them anyway. Anything to get away from her and Erwin sooner. Spouting some bullshit, he made sure Eren was safe and secured, before rounding the car. Tonight had been fucked. Simply fucked.

 

Eren roused during the drive home, his boyfriend trying to climb into his lap, while stuck in place by his seatbelt. Whining softly, Eren looked to him with confused eyes, his hand gripping Levi's thigh  
"It's alright, we'll be home soon. Sleep a little longer"  
Shaking his head, Eren was determined to get into his lap  
"Brat, 5 minutes and we'll be home"  
"Sick..."  
"You're going to be sick?"  
"Feel sick"  
Pulling over to the nearest free space, Levi turned his car off so he could. Unclipping Eren's belt, he had all the grace of a fish out water as he continued his struggle to get into Levi's lap. Placing his palm to Eren forehead, he didn't feel feverish. Nor did he look anything but sleepy  
"You don't feel warm"  
"I feel really gross"  
"Probably because you've had a long day. We're nearly home, I'll make you something to eat when we get there"  
"Can we cuddle instead?"  
"Yeah. Of course we can"  
"Mmm... I don't think I'm going to be sick. I just... really want you to hold me"  
"I will. Now try and nap, we'll be home soon"  
Stealing a quick kiss, he helped Eren back into seat properly. The omega couldn't have been comfortable sitting on the handbrake  
"Levi... I really think you're going to be a good dad"  
"I think you're going to make a pretty good mum too. Now get some rest"  
Mumbling, Eren closed his eyes and slouched down in his seat. He completely missed the small tinge of red in Levi's cheeks, and the dopey smile that lit up his whole face. The look on Hanji's face when he said he'd hold Anna was a slap to the face. She and Erwin both looked to him like he'd grown a second head. He'd taken care of Anna before, when they'd been living in the safe house, so why did they both have such little faith in him? It'd hurt deeper than he'd liked to admit, but all it had taken was Eren words to turn that around. He could tell his boyfriend was angry of his behalf. It took a special kind of omega to be angry for their alpha, and yet, even feeling so hurt and out of place, Eren had been more concerned with him than his own feelings. 

The rest of the drive passed quickly, one minute he was pulling back into the traffic and the next they were back at the apartment block. Climbing out, he headed round to Eren's side, opening the door shaking his boyfriend softly. Reaching out for him, Levi unclipped his belt as he climbed into his hold. Snorting fondly, he snagged the plastic bag of food as he lifted Eren out carefully. Eren hadn't even hesitated to grab for him   
"Really, brat?"  
"Mmm... love you... gonna marry you some day"  
Eren might have only mumbling in his sleep, but that sounded like one hell of a proposal. Kissing his boyfriend's hair, Eren let out a soft and happy sigh  
"And I'm going to marry the fuck out of you, too"  
"Can't wait..."  
"Don't worry, I won't make you wait much longer"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's so smallll :(


	49. Chapter 49

Eren was beginning to think he would never stop throwing up. Apparently he fell into the unfortunate category of people who still experienced it after their first trimester, and he wasn't loving it. Between the vomiting and tenderness in his tiny budding breasts, all he wanted was Levi. With the pregnancy progressing well, and his tender throat not quite as bad as it had been, he'd finally convinced his boyfriend to see about returning to work. The only problem was that the moment Levi had left the apartment, he'd started throwing up. If he called Levi to let him know, his alpha would come rushing home, and his loneliness wasn't worth that. Levi needed to be out there helping people. Especially now that they seemed to be avoiding Hanji and Erwin. Hanji had invited them out for lunch, as dinner had been cut short. Thanks to his obvious nerves, Levi had said no, without even asking for his input. Sure, his swell had grown a little, what with now being 16 weeks and all, but he could still hide his frame beneath one of Levi's bigger jackets or a loose hoody. Since coming home, he'd felt like he had a second or even third chance. He didn't want to have any more regrets, and he knew he'd regret things between him and Hanji if things continued this way. He hadn't struggled so hard for everything to fall apart.

Trapped on the bathroom until mid-afternoon, he crawled back into bed with a groan. Curling around Levi's pillow, his thoughts were still on how to fix things with Hanji. Reaching for his phone, he felt his nose drip. Ugh. Vomiting through his nose was even worse than vomiting through his mouth. Not wanting to mess Levi's pillow up, he opened the top drawer of the bedside table, sticking his hand in and blindly feeling for the tissues. Feeling a small box, he frowned as he sat up. His curiosity getting the better of him as he leaned over to peer inside the drawer. Sitting there was a small gold and black box. His heart started to race. He was no expert when it came to jewellery boxes, but it was far too small to be for a watch or bracelet, and the wrong shape. With a shaking hand, he lifted it out, popping it open with a gasp. The ring inside was gorgeous. Set inside a gold band, there was a neat row of four diamonds, with a slightly larger emerald in the middle. It... he didn't have the words. He knew he shouldn't have looked. Snapping the box closed, he threw it into the drawer and slammed it shut. Scrambling to hide himself under their blankets in an attempt to hide from the ring. He shouldn't have looked. Levi hadn't mentioned marriage... not in a little while... so... why was there a ring, right there?!? Was it even for him? Was Levi going to propose? Why? When? And how?! Was it because he was pregnant? With the issues of his dormant omega, he'd rather be marked... Fuck. Did he really just think that? If Levi was going to propose, that meant he wanted to be with him. Giggling with giddiness, he rolled into his stomach and screamed into his pillow with happiness. Levi was all he could ever want and need. He wanted to be his, in whatever shape and form possible... He was already carrying their pup. Their lives would be forever intertwined by that. Rolling back to his side, he mentally apologised to his pup. His hand rubbing at his swell, as his dick began to harden. Fuck. He'd been exhausted, now he was fucking exhausted and horny. He and Levi were having sex daily, sometimes two or three times during the night and it still wasn't enough to satisfy him. His alpha's knot felt so fucking good, his body not only flooded with bliss from his orgasm, but a feeling of love and safety that was dangerously addictive... and if Levi married... Fuck. He could live with that. Levi had seen every inch of his body, and he still loved him. He especially seemed to love his forming stomach. His boyfriend would wriggle down and sleep with his ear against it, or if he slept in Levi's arms, Levi would spend hours nuzzling his neck and gently caressing the swell, even as he slept. He loved the feeling of Levi's fingers across his stomach. No matter how crappy he felt, a warm sensation would bloom wherever his love touched, settling and soothing his distress over everything. He knew not all alphas were this kind to their omega, and he knew that despite the look of constipation on his face, Levi cared deeply. He never thought working as a stripper in a less than great club would lead to him meeting the love of his life. He would literally kill anyone who threatened to hurt his alpha, and anyone who threatened their pup... He'd made a promise to himself to escape the hold of the "The Church" no matter what, but... would Levi still love him... if he knew he killed someone? Would he still want to marry someone like him?

 

*  
Trying to get his job back was harder than getting it the first time around. Despite being absent for only 3 months, he was expected to retrain. This meant a hell of a of wasted hours in his opinion. He knew his job inside and out... and not to brag, but keeping him on the sidelines would result in needless death. He was good at his job. He knew what the fuck he had to do, and made it happen. The kicker was that they expected to spend all of Saturday training, when he'd already made mental plans with Eren. Sure, his omega had no idea about them, but that didn't make him feel better about shuffling around their date. There was a festival in the city for the erection of the new Ferris wheel there. Personally, he didn't see the appeal of them, but Eren would love it. Since coming home from Hanji's, Eren had been trying to hide how upset he was over everything. His boyfriend had finally opened up over the conversation he'd had with her, and about how shit it'd made him feel. Right now, they were both avoiding her... because Levi honestly wasn't sure he wouldn't yell at her over off hand comments. She might not have meant to make Eren feel stupid, but she had and his boyfriend was suffering through enough. His nightmares had come back in full force since Floch left. His fucking morning sickness hadn't calmed. Everyday a new smell seemed to upset his stomach. It was fucking hard to watch him go through that. He was so fucking proud of his brat though. Eren kept moving forward. He didn't let the little things stop him. Which was why he was confused as he opened the door to their apartment. His boyfriend was wailing in distress. Titan came flying from the sofa, trying to climb up his leg in an attempt to ask "Why is my human broke?". Lifting Titan up, Levi closed and locked the door. Depositing Titan back on the sofa, he strode to their bedroom. Sprawled across their bed, seemed to be the entire contents of Hanji's "sex" box, that she'd gifted Eren. Eren was sitting in the corner of the bed where his pillows usually lived. Pausing to make sure Eren hadn't been assaulted by anything on the bed, he nearly smacked himself at his own idiotic thought. Pausing again to take his boots off, he climbed up onto the bed, and over to his sobbing lover  
"Eren?"  
Flinging himself on him, Levi caught him with ease. Pulling him into his lap, he eyed the impressive pool of slick that covered what seemed to be a quarter of their bed. The sweet smell was mouth watering, his dick throbbing in interest... but making sure Eren was alright came first  
"Eren?"  
Sniffling, Eren wiped at his face, making an effort to calm back down for him  
"I missed you"  
"You're crying because you missed me?"  
"I'm sorry  
"Brat, you're the only person in the world who would cry because they missed me"  
"Levi... would you still love me... if I did something bad?"  
"Eren, there's nothing in the world that would keep me from loving you. If you did something bad, you only did it because you had to. I know you. I know how you work. Whatever it was, you're the one who suffers the most because of it"  
"Even if it's really... really bad?"  
"I love you. And when you're ready, we'll talk about it. But for now, do you want to tell me why our bed is covered in toys?"  
Eren let out a groan, covering his face with his hands as he mumbled   
"I got horny"  
It didn't take a genius to figure that out. Not with the copious amount of slick wasted across their sheets  
"I can see... did you have fun without me?"  
"N-no... I couldn't... it felt wrong"  
Levi sighed softly  
"There's nothing wrong with you. Nothing at all"  
"Why... am I like this? My mind won't shut up... I feel so confused"  
"Remember. I told you they gave you a suppressant. For someone who hasn't had their omega suppressed for over a decade, your mind's a little lost. That doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you"  
"I feel stupid and weak"  
"You're definitely neither of those things. Here, let's get you cleaned up. I'll make something to eat and we can take a bath together?"  
"You're... you're so good to me"  
"Because you mean the world to me. Hold on tight"

Carrying Eren through to the bathroom, Levi sat him on the counter so he could turn the bath taps on. Stripping off his slick coated pants, he stifled the groan that rose from freeing his half hard dick. Even if his priorities were on Eren's physical wellbeing, there was no way he couldn't help but react to that much slick. Mewing behind him, he turned to see Eren sliding his hand down between his thighs as he wriggled. Moving to stand in front of his omega, he lifted Eren's right leg up, forcing him to hook it around his waist as he claimed his boyfriend's wet lips. He fucking loved how horny Eren had become. It fed his pride to know his boyfriend wanted him as much as he did. With the flood of hormones and need for reassurance, his lover had become so much more open over his own sexuality. Once never felt like enough, and quite often it escalated into twice or three times before Eren finally calmed. His alpha would give their omega and their pup the world on a silver platter if it could. Breaking the kiss, Levi cupped Eren's left cheek, his thumb wiping away the drying tear marks as he pressed his forehead to his omega's   
"You're so fucking perfect. How the fuck did I ever get so lucky?"  
Eren have a hiccup-snort, his left leg finally wrapping around Levi's waist  
"I'm the lucky one. I love you. I love you so much, Levi. You and this pup, and this apartment and Titan. You... you make me so happy"  
Nuzzling him affectionately, Levi breath caught. His throat feeling tight from the rush of emotions he felt every time Eren told him he loved him. He wanted to shower Eren in praise and throw himself at his feet in worship. Backing off enough to take Eren by the hips, his boyfriend nodded at him. Instead of fucking him, Levi went straight for Eren's swollen nipples. His body blooming beautifully with pregnancy. Latching onto his right nipple, Levi worked the bud into a hard peak, alternating between sucking and gently biting. Eren loved his breasts being worked, he knew how much they pained him, but he also knew that with the right attention that pain turned to pleasure. Pulling off, he looked up. Eren's eyes hooded and darkened with pleasure. His mouth slightly parted as he panted. Fuck. If he could wake up with this omega by his side for the rest of his life... he die the happiest man alive. Kissing open mouth kisses, he moved to lavish Eren's left nipple with the same attention as the right. Eren grabbing a fist full of hair as he mewed sweetly.

Taking his time to work his way down, he paid extra attention to Eren's swell. Nuzzling and kissing at the bump that he loved so much. In the last two weeks, it seemed to have doubled in size, and he found himself unable to get enough of it. Even when they slept, he always had one hand across it, protecting his pup from whatever would be. Both he and Eren had had pretty shitty childhoods, and he was determined his pup would have every single happiness. Having teased his way down, he took a deep breath of Eren's musky scent, almost buried beneath the scent of his slick. His omega's dick was as red and angry as his own, small beads of precum dribbling from the slit. There wasn't a single person in the world that could ignore such a sight. Sliding his lips over the head, he moaned at sweet and salty taste coating his tongue. With hollowed cheeks, he worked just the tip, Eren rocking up in an attempt for more. They'd never really discussed exploring more in the bedroom, which wasn't to say Levi was unhappy in slightest... he just wanted more. He wanted absolutely everything his omega could give him. Now however, wasn't the time to be thinking about if his boyfriend would be up for the possibility of role reversal. Giving Eren the power in the bedroom might be just what his younger lover needed. To see that pleasure in all its forms was there to be enjoyed. Whining at him in annoyance, Eren continued to rock. Loosing the suction he was applying, Levi relaxed, sinking down and taking Eren's whole length into his mouth. Eager for release, Eren gripped his hair and held him there as he fucked Levi's mouth. The grip was solid enough to tell him what he wanted, without being constraining enough that he couldn't pull back if he needed. Even in times like this, Eren was again putting him first. With half a dozen thrusts, Eren moaned, his seed spilling down Levi's throat, as Levi tried to drink down every drop without choking. He still had a mouthful of cum as Eren slumped back. Swallowing it down, he pulled off and kissed his lover's inner thighs. He didn't imagine the position his omega had ended up in was too comfortable, but the view was perfect. Slick had puddled under Eren, and with a firm tug on his hips, his leaking opening was exposed. The rim fluttering with each stream of slick running free. Fuck. Snarling, he buried his face between Eren's legs again. Almost frenzied as he drank the slick down. He couldn't think about anything other than how right it felt. In the back of his mind, his alpha was roaring at him to bond with Eren completely, trying to get him to tilt his neck in submission, while all Levi wanted to do was eat his boyfriend out. Between his legs dick had curved hard enough for precum to smear his own treasure trail, dribbling down into his neatly trimmed pubes. He wanted so desperately to flip Eren over and fuck him senseless, but that would mean having to stop drinking him down. He could only growl at his own conflict. Feeling Eren's hands grip his hair, he growled again as he was pulled away from Eren's opening. Looking up to his omega, slick dribbled down his chin, from where his lips were saturated in it  
"Need you... inside"  
Surging up, he hefted Eren off the counter, pushing him up against the closed bathroom door as he shoved into his heat. He was too far gone to think about how the counter was pretty much the perfect height for fucking Eren on. Whining, Eren's long legs tightened again him. His lips seeking his as he tried to fuck himself on Levi's dick. He couldn't stop himself, Eren if he'd wanted to. Eren was his whole life and he didn't want to play the responsible adult any longer. His lover wasn't a fucking child. He'd been to hell and back and now they both deserved some fucking happiness. Breaking the kiss to bare his neck, Eren didn't think twice as he bit, Levi knot popping unexpectedly, a snarl torn form him as he was overwhelmed, pulling Eren back from the door, he bit just as hard into Eren's neck. His omega whining against him, as cum landed in small pulses against his stomach. His. Eren was fucking his. His omega and his mate. It might have been out of order. He might have been planning to propose before bonding, but he was so fucking drunk on slick, he felt giddy and almost like he was presenting for the first time. Never in his life had things been this perfect. Never had known this kind of happiness or thought that he'd ever have just the thinnest sliver for himself. It didn't matter what Eren said or did. He'd always be on his side and by his side. 

Sliding his teeth from Eren's flesh, he lapped at the blood oozing from the bite site. He could feel Eren mirroring his moves, while behind them their came the sound of rushing water. He'd fucking forgot all about the bath. Swearing under his breath, Eren laughed softly  
"The bath..."  
"The bathroom's about to get flooded"  
Abandoning the door completely, Levi walked backwards while Eren giggled and clung to him. Stepping into the bath, he found it not too bad. Eren squeaked and tried to escape, while Levi awkwardly lowered them both down, and sent water sloshing everywhere. Leaning over his shoulder, Eren turned the taps off, before hiding his face against Levi's shoulder. Still laughing as he did  
"Are you alright?"  
"We forgot about the bath..."  
"That we did... is that why you're laughing?"  
"I'm laughing because I'm so fucking happy... I can't stop"  
Poking Eren in the ribs, his own shook his head  
"Nooo... don't you dare tickle me"  
"I wasn't going to... but if you insist"  
His omega's happiness was infectious. Tickling Eren's sides, he found himself laughing just as stupidly as his boyfriend... No. As stupidly as his mate. Ceasing his assault, he claimed Eren's lips, his boyfriend breathy as he laughed into his mouth   
"Stop laughing so I can kiss you properly"  
That and each time Eren laughed, he'd clench and rippled around Levi's dick... which felt fucking amazing. Pressing his lips to Levi's, his brat finally kissed him properly. Soft and sweet, Eren's lingering giggles melted into a moan. A shy blush on his cheeks as the kiss ended   
"I missed you today"  
"I noticed. I have to jump through all these shitty hoops to get cleared to return to the field. So it seems like I won't be home much"  
"It's ok. I mean. I understand"  
"At this point, I'm wondering if it's even worth going back"  
The splash of water to the face he received came out of nowhere  
"Oi!"  
"You're going back to work. I don't care what you say"  
"Even if it means leaving you here, alone?"  
"Levi, you need this in your life. You need to be with your friends and you need space from me. And every time you come home, we're going to be right here, waiting for you"  
"But what about you? Won't you be lonely"  
"Even if I am, you're coming home"  
Taking Levi's face in his hands, Eren smiled softly   
"I love you. So much, Levi. I did so many bad things... but all I wanted was to come back home to you"  
He didn't like the way Eren's lips turned down and sadness flooded him. They'd just bonded, it wasn't a time for sadness   
"Whatever you did, I want to know. I love you"  
"I... I think I k... can't talk about this yet"  
Eren was definitely going to say something else, before stopping himself with a slight shake of his head  
"That's alright. Beside, I've got a better plan for tonight, that doesn't involve much talking at all"  
"Mmmm... as long as you remembered you promised to cook"  
"You're hungry?"  
Leaning in, Eren whispered against his lips  
"The taste of my slick on your lips makes me want something sweet"  
Shit. Fuck. He needed more of his omega. Rolling his hips, Eren let out a gasp  
"Fuck..."  
"What was that about something sweet?"  
Eren whined, grinding down against him as Levi started to rock his hips. His knot was still firmly inside his omega, but Eren was intoxicating. Moaning, he arched back, his words coming out in a long moaned sting  
"Sex. Food and sex, but sex first"  
"What was that?"  
"Sex... I want your knot... I want you to fuck me and fill me. I want a whole fucking litter of your pups"  
Levi growled, rising to his feet, his omega barely had time to register what was happening. Trying to walk on wet tiles was bad enough, but trying to walk on wet tiles with his knot firmly stuck in Eren's arse... he should have been awarded a medal for his performance. Making it across to the bathroom door, and then getting them into their bedroom without slipping. He was quite proud of his skills. Eren wanted to be bred, he might not be able to breed him again, but he wasn't about to say no to practicing.

 

The morning light stung at his tired eyes. Eren was purring up a storm on top of him, he had been transfixed by his mate's sleeping face and unable to close his eyes in fear that it had all been a dream. They hadn't made off the bed, both acting like newly presented idiots who didn't know how to do anything but fuck, desperate to reconfirm their love. Eren was so perfect. Mewing and moaning his name over and over, so beautiful and perfect as he took him deep inside. The waves of pleasure had turned to fatigue, Eren falling asleep on him shortly before the sun had started to rise, with Levi still knotted inside him. He didn't even mind the drool on his shoulder, and couldn't be fucked dealing with their ruined sheets. He couldn't wait until Saturday... he wanted to wake Eren up and propose to him right there... but... fuck. He'd intended to propose before bonding. He wanted to know how Eren felt being his fiancé with the promise of forever. Now they were bonded for forever... was it stupid to go ahead and propose? Especially so soon after bonding? He didn't know what how these things were supposed to go. At the time, it'd felt so incredibly right to bond with him, and happiness Eren had shown him had been amazing. The happiness felt being connected to his omega... there was nothing like it... But had it been the right thing to do? When Eren woke, would he still be just as happy from their bonding? Feeling for his phone, Levi scrunched his face. He had less than he'd expected and he needed to shower... He didn't want to disturb Eren, he didn't want to disturb him and risk rejection... Fuck. Time was a cruel thing. No matter how hard you prayed for a moment to last, time always came along and swept it away.

 

*  
Eren couldn't get used to the bonding mark on his neck. Every time he saw it, his heart skipped a beat. He was Levi's. Finally and completely claimed by his alpha. He'd already taken way too many photos of his bonding mark, getting Levi's permission before posting it to his social media. He was Levi's and he wanted the whole world to know. It also seemed like being bonded with his alpha had calmed his pregnancy. He still found himself throwing up at all sorts of odd hours, but he didn't seem to be in front of the toilet as much. He didn't care if they'd only been bonded for the last 4 days... or that it may be his pregnancy was finally settling down, he was sure it was his mate's mark.

Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, he'd gotten caught up in looking at him mark again. He'd been taking a nap when Levi had called and told him to get ready because they were going out. Other than to Hanji's, Krista's or to the doctors, they hadn't been out that much since he'd come home. They'd done a little shopping for clothes, and he'd melted down in the crowds of people... so it was fair to say he nervous about going out again. Even with Levi's mark, that didn't mean everything in his head had calmed. The reason he'd needed to nap was due to the nightmare he'd had earlier. His old nightmares merging into new. Instead of his father killing his mother, he now saw himself killing Bertholdt, despite the fact the alpha had never set foot in his childhood home... As much as he tried to hide it. He couldn't forget the way he'd killed Bertholdt. The way he'd kicked him off him, and run... he didn't even know if Bertholdt really had died. Reiner had been running towards him, and he'd just run... His father had his pregnancy as long as he could. But someone had found out. They wanted to take his baby. They wanted to do his baby what they did with the rest of the children there. Keep them around until they had a use for them... or rather, their organs. Omega's were bred for families with sick family members and money. Omega's who'd come without knowing what was going to happen to them, were now across the whole country... or at least parts of them were. And his fucking piece of shit father had let it happen. He'd even fucking helped... on the provision he was left alone. What a fucking joke. He'd learned firsthand that promises and deals never lasted. His father... his father was a coward. He could have stepped up and changed everything, but he'd grovelled to them up to the very end. They'd wanted him when he was a child... His father had murdered his mother when his mother wanted to run... he said he lost his mind because she wouldn't listen to reason... but Eren had to wonder if he was ever really in his right mind. He could ever hurt his pup... he could never hurt Levi. Caught up in his thoughts, he blinked at the tears in his eyes. Other than vomiting, the tears were worst bit of being pregnant. He'd dropped a slice of toast on the floor, then burst into tears for no good reason. Levi had been an arse about it, for which he grateful. Him telling him to clean the mess up, was much nicer than being asked if he was ok.

"Eren?! You ready?"  
Fuck. Nope  
"In the bathroom!"  
Levi's boots thudded heavily as his alpha appeared in the doorway  
"I thought I told you to get ready?"  
There was no real bite in Levi's voice, wandering over to him, his boyfriend wrapped his arms around him  
"Mmm. You showered"  
"Of course I showered. I got distracted getting out the shower"  
"Hmm? What caught your attention?"  
"Your mark... I feel like an idiot every time I look at it"  
"Maybe because you are an idiot..."  
Lifting him over his feet, Eren screamed with laughter. Carried out the bathroom, Levi dropped him down on their bed  
"No more mark for you"  
Eren pouted playfully, reaching out to cup Levi's cheek  
"But it's mine"  
"It is, and it looks good on you. But we have to get ready"  
"Oh. Is my towel not enough?"  
Levi snorted  
"It's more than enough, but I don't feel like sharing that sexy body of yours"  
"Sexy... I think you need your eyes checked"  
Wriggling off him, Levi pulled his towel open  
"Yeah. This is all mine. Put something warm on. I don't want you getting cold"  
Starting to slick, Eren let out a disappointed groan as Levi fled the bedroom  
"Fucking tease!"  
"Love you too!"  
Fucking alphas! Not that he'd been in the mood for sex... before Levi came home. Fuck. He was taking his revenge.

Levi was usually pretty efficient when they weren't showering together. His alpha could be in and out in less than five minutes, having fully washed himself and his hair. That meant he had to work fast. Skimming through his clothes, he found a pair of black jeggings, coupling it with one of the dresses Levi had purchased way back when they fought before the Gala. In addition to the dark green one, he'd chosen a whole sundress of sorts. It hugged his forming cleavage, and dropped about two inches below it. It fitted nicely, his bump evident, but not overly so. For shoes, he opted for his sneakers as they were probably the most comfortable pair of shoes he owned and he had absolutely no idea where Levi was taking him. He would have skipped the jeggings, but was afraid of slicking through his underwear.

Sitting on their bed, he'd just finished platting his hair down the left side loosely when Levi came in. His boyfriend giving him a smile  
"You're not going to be cold?"  
"You're supposed to say I look cute"  
"You are cute. You're adorable. I just don't want you to be cold"  
"You're supposed to say you'll keep me warm"  
"I will. I'll grab an extra jacket for you, just in case"  
"One of yours?"  
"If you want"  
"Your jackets are nicer than mine"  
"I don't know. Yours are big and comfortable"  
"But yours smell like you..."

Dropping his towel on the end of the bed, Eren swore Levi was being a dick tease on purpose. Walking around their room naked as he got ready, Eren could feel the fires of desire simmering in his stomach, his dick already half hard. Spreading his legs, he tugged down his jeggings enough to free his dick. Levi had no idea how fucking sexy he was. He was dripping with alpha pheromones, and a body that he couldn't even describe. Jerking himself off, he whined in need. It never felt as good as when Levi touched him. Ignoring him, Levi continued to get dressed, dressing in his skin tight jeans and black button up shirt that did all kinds of things to Eren's libido. Reaching past him to retrieve his watch, Levi finally gave him attention  
"Really?"  
"You have no idea what you do to me"  
"I should probably take responsibility then..."  
"Mmm..."  
Leaning back to pull his dress up, Levi sank down in front of him, taking him into his mouth as Eren let out a moan of bliss. Everything he did with Levi was the best, but when it came to blowjobs, Levi was fucking skilled... to the point it was almost embarrassing how fast he came  
"Shit... Levi..."  
Coming down Levi's throat, he lover sucked him dry, then milked the last few drops, and licked him clean. Smirking, Levi tucked him back into his underwear and straightened his jeggings for him  
"Do you need a pad?"  
Smacking Levi on the head lightly, he pouted  
"I was trying to look cute. It's hard to feel cute with a pad and it's not sexy"  
"Eren. Wearing a pad doesn't make you any less sexy or cute. You can't help slicking"  
"Just for tonight, I don't want to think about it. I want to be with you and be able to completely enjoy being with you"  
"Alright. I know I put some in the glovebox, incase you change your mind"  
"You're such an arsehole"  
Levi's head jerked back a little at his words, his alpha frowning down at him  
"You take such good care of me, how am I supposed to top that"  
"I thought I'd actually fucked up"  
Hooking Levi's leg with his, he sat up and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend   
"No. You're the best thing that ever happened to me. Where are we going?"  
"That's a surprise. Let me brush my teeth. Can you grab out jackets"  
"Do I need my wallet?"  
"It's a date. I'm paying"  
He had no idea what was going to happen with his inheritance. His dad was declared dead, only to be alive and now he was actually dead... he didn't even know if he had any money at all to his name. If he did, he wanted to contribute to everything... they still hadn't tackled the spare room, and looking at baby things online had Levi frowning to the point of scowling at his laptop. He feared it was going to go flying like toaster had. He knew he needed to ask Levi about it, but he wasn't ready to talk to him about the fact his father had been alive and had taken care of him. They were in a good place right now. He didn't want to disrupt that  
"Mmm, then I'll leave it to you"

 

Eren was clueless during the drive. This night was surprisingly clear, the city dyed the colours of the sunset. The drive was short, but the moment he saw the Ferris wheel, he shot up in his seat  
"What the fuck is that?!"  
"It's a Ferris Wheel"  
"I know that, but it's huge!"  
"There's a festival on to celebrate its installation. It's going to be up for three months, so even if we don't make it on tonight, we can still go a little later"  
"They're amazing... Wait. We're going to the festival?!"  
"I thought you'd enjoy it"  
Eren let out a squeal, he couldn't ever remember going to a festival. Forgetting Levi was driving, he threw his arms around him, with another happy squeal  
"Brat! Driving!"  
"Shit! Sorry. Just. I didn't think you'd like things like this"  
Eren quickly detangled himself   
"It's fine. Once the baby comes, we'll be busy. So I thought we should make the most of these sorts of things"  
"Thank you! I'm so excited... I've never been somewhere like this before"  
"We might have to walk a little, the parking isn't the best"  
"I don't mind. Besides, you'll carry me if my feet hurt, won't you?"  
"What happened to the omega who danced on a ruined ankle?"  
Eren pouted, trying to give Levi the best puppydog eyes he could   
"He's been spoiled rotten by his alpha"  
"And he knows better than to try and pull that shit with me"  
"There's that too. I think you'd kill me"  
"I wouldn't kill you, or hurt you. I'd just be disappointed you didn't tell me"  
"I think I'd rather be dead, than a disappointment to you"  
"You're yet to disappoint me"  
He was sure there had to be plenty of times he'd disappointed Levi. Like showing up pregnant after disappearing and letting him he think he was dead... that wasn't a great feeling. Tonight had to go perfectly. Levi was making an effort for him, so he had to make sure he kept it together!

It was colder than he'd expected, and was grateful Levi had packed that extra jacket. Holding his boyfriend's hand, he couldn't stop smiling as they entered the festival grounds. He'd already ruled out most of the rides, not wanting to do anything that may hurt the baby, but there was still plenty of other things to do. Starting with food. His stomach rumbling at the smells in the air  
"Where first? Or do you want to just walk around?"  
"Uh... food... something smells really good"  
"You're not nauseous?"  
"No. Don't go jinxing it"  
"Alright. Then you can have whatever you want"  
"You might end up regretting that"  
"I doubt it"  
Tugging Levi closer, Eren kissed him happily.

Picking at his loaded fries, Eren was in love with cheese sauce over them. Levi had suggested something heavier, but Eren wanted something he could eat while walking. With the bright lights and stuffed toys, he didn't know where he wanted to look or what he wanted to do. It was honestly a little overwhelming, and he was grateful for Levi's solid presence by his side  
"How are you fries?"  
"Goooood. You should learn how to make this"  
"It's not that hard"  
"Really? Can you teach me? Your pup is seriously loving it"  
"I think the pups a bit small to know what it loves"  
"If I don't want to throw it back up, your pup likes it"  
"It doesn't quite work that way"  
"It does if I say it does... Oh fuck!"  
Spinning around, Eren didn't dare look back   
"Eren?"  
"Hanji's here with Anna... Fuck... she's going to see"  
He wasn't ashamed of being pregnant. And he'd wanted to see Hanji again... but he wasn't ready for this  
"Hey. It's ok. We don't have to say hello"  
"No. No... Shit. Can you hold these for me... I'm not ready... to... fuck"  
"Eren, calm down. Just do the jacket up. I told you we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to"  
"It's not that I don't... I love this pup. I just... I don't want her treating me differently and I don't want her doubting it's yours"  
"Hey... it's me. Even if it wasn't, it still is. I may have acted like a shit, but it's mine. You're both mine"  
Taking his fries for him, Eren struggles to get his jacket zipped up. His stomach pressing against the zip  
"Fuck..."  
"You look fine. She won't notice, not with you still eating your fries"  
"I wanted things to go well tonight"  
"And they still will. Yeah. Tonight is just about having some fun"  
Taking his fries back from his boyfriend, Levi wrapped his arm around him, kissing his cheek  
"She's seen us"  
Waving back at Hanji, Levi lead them over  
"I didn't think I'd see you two here!"  
"Levi's taking me on a date"  
"This was Levi's idea? You've got him whipped. I saw your photo, your bonded now! How does it feel?"  
"Good. Really good... Right, Levi?"  
"Yeah. It really does. What are you doing here?"  
"Just taking Anna for a walk. She wouldn't settle down, so I thought she might be over stimulated by everything and fall asleep on the drive home"  
Anna was wide awake in the pram. A fluffy yellow thing firmly in her hold  
"Has Levi taken you along the Sideshow Alley yet?"  
"The what?"  
"We haven't yet, we just got here"  
A mischievous smile came over Hanji's face  
"You know what that means. It means I can kick your arse!"  
He had no idea what the pair of them were in about, only that their date now included Hanji and Anna...  
"What?"  
Levi sighed   
"She thinks she's god at carnival games"  
"What do you mean "She think?". I know I am. If you're not a sore loser, I might even let you win"  
"I don't need you to let me win. I'm on a date with Eren. Not with you"  
"Ooooh. Someone's chicken"  
Levi was getting annoyed. He didn't want his boyfriend being annoyed  
"Umm... I've never seen these games before... maybe it'll be fun?"  
"Hear that! Eren's in! Come on, Captain Shorty"

Games with Hanji apparently meant every single one. The woman's competitiveness knew no bounds as he was left to push Anna along. He kind of felt like a third wheel on his own date. There were things he would have liked to try... without Hanji's "calculations". She had nothing on him when it came to shooting games, even when she loudly exclaimed they were rigged. Levi had won him a small cat, which had somehow been gifted on to Anna before he knew what happened... and as hard as he tried, he wasn't happy. He'd never thought about how good Hanji looked by Levi... but once that thought had crept in, it was all he could think about. He didn't want to be forced into the background. He wanted to stand proudly by his mate's side. Watching Anna drool all over the cat, he felt pathetically jealous. Since bonding, Levi seemed to notice things he wanted to hide. Lowering his hand, his alpha turned from the game he was playing with Hanji   
"Eren, are you ok?"  
"I... uh, need to go to the bathroom"  
"Oh. Hold up, I'll come with you"  
"No. It's ok... but Anna"  
"Hanji, watch your daughter. Eren's going to the bathroom"  
"On it!"  
Hanji ducked around Levi, moving the pram closer to her  
"Look at her with her kitty"  
Levi scoffed  
"Her kitty. I won that for Eren"  
"Isn't he a little old for soft toys?"  
"No. He's not. And stop stealing shit"  
"Awww just because you beat me once..."

Taking a few steps backwards, he ran. He was grateful Levi had tried to stand up for him... He just couldn't do this. He'd been so happy and excited to experience everything with Levi, but this was the zoo all over again... Only Levi was the one who'd left him behind. Everyone left him behind.

He'd barely made it to the toilets when Levi caught up to him. He didn't want to show his boyfriend the shameful face he was making. Trying to hide, he darted around the corner of the brick building  
"Eren, hey. What is it?"  
Shaking his head, he really didn't want to see Levi. Levi didn't give two shits as he wrapped his arms around him. Eren caving at his touch, buried his face against Levi's neck as he started to cry   
"Hey... Did... did I do something wrong?"  
"N-no..."  
"Then what's wrong?"  
"You and Hanji!"  
"What about me, and Hanji?"  
"You two looked really good together... like you were having so much fun"  
Levi swore softly, his hold tightening and squashing his belly  
"Shit, brat. I didn't mean to make you feel left out"  
"I want you to have fun with your friends, but I was so happy when you said this was a date"  
"No. No. This is on me. I didn't think. You didn't say anything"  
"How c-could I? You looked so happy and I wasn't the one who made you happy"  
"I would have preferred to play with you, than Hanji... We could go back"  
Eren shook his head, still hating his jealousy  
"You already played most of them with her"  
"I'm so sorry. It's an alpha thing... trying to show off for omegas when challenged. I didn't even... I'm sorry"  
"I was even fucking jealous of Anna... That cat was really cute"  
"It was, but you're cuter. I'm sorry Hanji took it"  
"I'm pathetic... being jealous of a kid. What if I'm jealous of our pup?"  
"Hey. No. You're going to be an amazing mum. I know it"  
"I'm sorry..."  
Levi leant up to kiss his forehead   
"You don't need to be sorry. I'm the one who fucked up our date. Do you want to ditch Hanji? Take a look around?"  
"She seemed really happy to see you"  
"So?"  
"You should spend time with her"  
"Or, I could spend time with you. The omega I'm on a date with"  
"You can see me when we're at home"  
"But we're not at home. We're out, and I want to spend my time with you. If you don't want to stay, we can go home? Or out for dinner?"  
"I'm not dressed for dinner... I probably look stupid"  
"You don't look stupid"  
"Sorry... I just... I don't want to go home... I wanted this night to be perfect"  
"Then what do you want to do? We can get something to eat? Or go on the Ferris Wheel?"  
Eren nodded against Levi. Maybe they could salvage the night somehow?  
"Ferris wheel? Alright. It might be a little bit of a wait. It's been open for the week, but the line is still pretty long"  
Eren nodded again. He just wanted to do something with Levi. It didn't even need to be the Ferris wheel...

Hanji was waiting for them near the toilets, Anna on her shoulder now  
"Everything alright? You took off pretty fast"  
"Yeah. Eren and I, are going to hit up the Ferris wheel"  
"Oh, do you think Anna would like it?"  
Great... he couldn't even have that with Levi...  
"Well. I am on a date with Eren, but I've spent most of my time with you"  
"Oh! Right... right. No. I suppose it way past her bedtime by now. I'll let you two get back to your date! It was great to see you both. We should get together for lunch or drinks... or something"  
Eren felt like shit. He felt like he forcing Hanji home... He didn't want her to feel like he was forcing Levi to choose between the pair of them. It was obvious she was distracted. She hadn't noticed he was pregnant. Maybe she was lonely?  
"Yeah. But for now, I owe Eren a ride on the Ferris wheel"  
"Levi..."  
"It's fine. You don't need to worry. Erwin's moved into her house. Something about being too lonely at his"  
So Hanji wasn't lonely? She was just sick of Erwin...  
"Night, Hanji. Night, Anna"  
"Yeah. Have fun, honey"

He was sure that was awkward. It'd been awkward as fuck for him. Taking their time to walk across the festival grounds, he realised how late it had become. There were far less children running around, and the crowds seemed to have thinned  
"Are you hungry? Or thirsty?"  
"No... no, I'm ok. Are you sure Hanji will be ok?"  
"She's fine. She's just upset she didn't get to keep showing off"  
"She seemed like she was having a good time"  
"That woman is the devil"

Stumbling to a stop, Eren looked around. Wanting to drink in all the brights lights surrounding them  
"Want to take a photo together?"  
"I probably don't look that great"  
"You're perfect. You need to have more faith in yourself"  
"I'm all blotchy from crying"  
"And I'm sorry for that"  
Now he was making Levi feel bad... he didn't want him to feel bad  
"Come here, you"  
Resting his head on Levi's shoulder, his boyfriend took a few photos of him. The angle slightly awkward from Levi being shorter. Both of them jumped at a strangers voice   
"Do you want me to take a photo for you?"  
Spinning round, the found one of the festival workers smiling at them  
"Sorry, I thought you might lol a proper one of the two of you together"  
Whipping his phone out, Eren returned the strangers smile. The man had appeared out of nowhere  
"That would be awesome. Thank you, so much"  
He had no idea what the game beside the alpha was, only that he wanted photos of him and Levi together. And as many as possible. Shrugging off Levi's jacket, his boyfriend scowled at the camera  
"How about a smile for your pretty omega?"  
Levi let out a small growl, Eren pleased his mate was trying to behave himself   
"Don't worry, this is him smiling"  
Snapping a photo for them, the man frowned  
"He really doesn't look happy in this one"  
"Levi. Please. I really want photos of us together. I don't want to forget this. Being here, with you"  
"I just don't like strangers taking photos of you"  
"It's with my own phone. And it's not like I go out very often. It's finally been long enough that no one remembers that I used to dance"  
Levi sighed  
"I didn't mean to upset you again. I just don't like other alphas looking at you"  
"Smile for the camera"  
They both smiled, the man nodding, while Eren continued the conversation   
"I'm yours. This is your pup. I want photos and memories of that, that aren't just selfies in front of the mirror"  
Levi nuzzled his hair  
"You're right. I love you"

Retrieving his phone from the festival worker, Eren scrunched his nose up at the game beside him. He had no idea how a "Test of Strength" was supposed to work  
"Oh, are you interested? Most of the people who play this one are alphas looking to show off"  
"I've never heard of it..."  
"Why don't you have your alpha show you how it's done?"  
Levi butted in  
"His alpha..."  
"Would be happy to. He owes me, and I feel like beating him here"  
The worker laughed, handing Eren a mallet of sorts  
"You can either use it to his that red platform, or your alpha"  
Laughing shyly, Levi didn't look happy   
"Pass it here, brat"  
"Will you win me something shiny?"  
"These things usually aren't that hard"  
Handing the mallet over, Levi looked so serious that Eren couldn't help but burst out laughing   
"Oi! I'm trying to concentrate"  
"Catfish. You look like that catfish. You look like that catfish"  
Levi probably wasn't even aware of how fierce of a look he had on his face. The corners of Levi's mouth turned upwards, his alpha looking suspiciously like he was going to start laughing, before taking a deep breath  
"I'm trying to be all alphary here"  
"Sorry! Sorry. Off you go..."  
"Good. Thank you. I will"

Swinging down, Eren jumped back as the mallet his the platform, causing the red thing in the middle to shoot up about half way. The look Levi gave it was priceless. He wasn't impressed at all  
"I thought you were going to be all alphary"  
Rolling his eyes, Levi handed the mallet over   
"Someone was laughing too hard"  
Wiping tears from his eyes with his free hand, he didn't even know why he'd laughed so hard   
"It's not my fault. You just looked so serious"  
"Then show me how it's done"  
"Alright, Little Miss. You want to aim for that platform in the middle"  
Did he seriously just get called "Little Miss"?!? Lucky for the man, he was in public or the mallet would have been making solid contact with his testicles. Giving a growl, Levi steeped back. His boyfriend knowing that the comment hadn't gone over too well with him, and that he was taking a bit too seriously. Moving into place, he raised the mallet, swinging down with all his might. The red thing shot up, hitting the top and making a ding. Laughing, the man took the mallet off him  
"Would you look at that. An omega out does an alpha. That's not something you see everyday"  
"That's because he's not your average omega. Even if he was, I'd love him all the same"  
Eren blushed, he felt like Levi was intentionally trying to get under the man's skin... and it kind of felt good to see the guy getting flustered  
"Well, you won. You get your pick from the box of prizes"

They hadn't even paid to play, but the man didn't seem to mind. Choosing a white rabbit, he held onto it proudly, as they thanked the man and left  
"Why the rabbit?"  
"Don't you think it's cute?"  
Ruffling his hair, Levi slung his free arm back around his waist  
"You're much cuter, Little Miss"  
"I swear, if we hadn't been outside, he would have copped a hit to the balls"  
"I know. I saw the look on your face"  
"Who goes around calling people that? Like, seriously. Just because I'm an omega, and pregnant, doesn't mean I'm some kind of delicate flower"  
"I know you're not. You did good and gave him a lesson I don't think he's going to forget in a hurry"  
His chest grew warm under Levi's praise. All the stuff that had happened with Hanji seemed to fade away. And he got to keep this toy   
"I'm going to put him up with the shark"  
Levi's shark now lived on the shelf in the alpha's bedroom. Titan loved it so much that he'd nearly killed it by kneading into its side until bits of stuffing had been pulled through with his claws  
"That's probably the safest bet. I'm still sorry about the cat"  
"It's ok... I mean, I'm kind of upset over it, but Anna is my Goddaughter. And I have kind of been hoping to find a way to talk to Hanji. I don't want things falling apart like the did with Marco"  
"Have you talked to him lately?"  
"No. He did congratulate us on bonding though"  
Marco had also sent a lot of messages while he'd been gone, asking where he was and if he was ok. Eren didn't have the heart to tell him anything, so had been avoiding messaging and social media as much as possible   
"That's good. I've been thinking, you're right about Hanji..."  
"I know, right? She normally would have said something about how tight your jacket was across my stomach. Do you think Erwin told her?"  
"For the sake of his testicles, probably not"  
"You can't really castrate him"  
"I can if he hurts you"  
"I love it when you get all possessive. It makes me feel loved"  
"You're always loved. Look, the line isn't that long"  
Wandering over to join the small line, Eren cuddled into Levi. He couldn't be bothered putting Levi's jacket back on. Especially not when he had Levi to keep him warm. Given it was taken a while, his alpha moved to stand behind him, on hand lazily rubbing his swell as Eren melted into his hold. He was stupid for thinking how good Hanji and Levi looked together, and for getting jealous over it  
"I can hear you thinking"  
"It's nothing"  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yeah. I'm just happy I'm yours"  
"All mine"

Warned the ride went for just over half an hour, they were lucky enough to be the only two in the cart. Sitting beside his lover, Eren nuzzled into Levi neck with a breathy sigh. He hadn't meant to get horny while standing in line, but Levi's dick was right against his arse. Mouthing his neck, his hand slipped between Levi's thighs, rubbing at his boyfriends dick as he kissed his way up to Levi's lips. Letting out a growl, Levi pulled his hand from his groin, his alpha breaking the kiss to stare at him  
"Eren... we shouldn't"  
"Please. I want you"  
"We can't have sex in here"  
"I want to touch you"  
Before Levi could protest, he dove in for another kiss, hungry and sloppy as his hand turned to his alpha's crotch. The thrill of touching his boyfriend so intimately was driving him crazy. Moaning into the kiss, his moves became bolder, rubbing harder as Levi's jeans tented. Fuck... he wanted him. He wanted to return the blow job from earlier. Ending the kiss, he slid from the seat to the footwell, his hands running up Levi's thighs and fighting to get his buttons undone   
"Brat..."  
"Don't worry... I know what I'm doing"  
Getting Levi's jeans undone, he tugged his mates underwear down far enough to free his alpha's thick dick. Just looking at it made him moan. His own dick wasn't exactly small, but Levi's had more girth to it. He wasn't great at blow jobs, but that was all he could think about as he rushed to take Levi into his mouth. Unlike his lover, he couldn't take his dick completely, instead using one hand to work the base, while his lips sank down over the crown of Levi's penis  
"Fuck! Shit... Eren"  
Levi spread his legs further for him, and Eren's ego swelled. Bobbing his head, he could taste the saltiness dribbling on his tongue. Between his own legs was growing sodden, but he desperately wanted to taste his lover. Sucking clumsily, he couldn't get enough, grunting and whining at not being able to fit Levi down to the root  
"Eren... shit... I'm going to come"  
Levi tried to pull him off, Eren's mouth still around his dick as the first pulse of come hit his tongue. Slightly confused, he pulled off with a wet pop. Come splattering across his lips and tongue as Levi moaned. Fuck. Alphas came way more than omegas and betas, Eren drinking down what he could as Levi pushed back into his mouth. He'd never really thought about the pleasure received when giving a blow job, but this had felt soooo good. Making his alpha happy and doing so, so publicly. Using his hand to to squeeze the last of Levi's come, he was careful to make sure his boyfriend was completely clean, Levi tucked himself back in his pants. Leaning down, his boyfriend used the pad of his thumb to clean his mouth of left over come, before offering it to him. Sucking on Levi's thumb was a little weird, but a good kind of weird. Levi hated having his hands touched, and it felt like he was breaking down the barrier. When his thumb slid from his mouth, Eren whined softly   
"Shit, brat. That was fucking intense... Are you ok?"  
"Mmm... Tasted good"  
"You looked so fucking sexy"  
Climbing off the Ferris wheel floor, Eren caught sight of the city scape. It was breathtaking  
"Earth to Eren?"  
"You can see everything from here"  
"The ride's only just started"  
Ignoring his wet arse, Eren snuggled into Levi. He'd never seen a view like this before   
"Brat, are you ok?"  
"Hmmm? What?"  
"I nearly knotted your mouth"  
Laughing softly, Eren tore his gaze from the city, looking to Levi. His mate's hand taking his and intertwining their fingers   
"I love you. I love you so much"  
"I love you too. You're my world, Eren Yeager"  
"And you're mine, Levi Ackerman"  
Shifting, Levi made space so he could kind of sit in his lap, but only barely. Resting his head on Levi's shoulder, he stared out at the world below them   
"Thank you... this is amazing. I know it's probably boring for you... but it's so pretty up here"  
"I knew you'd love it. I didn't expect the blow job"  
"You made me horny when you were holding me in line"  
"I'm sorry. I can't help it. When I'm with you, I want you all the time. I want you close to me. Where you're safe and never going to leave my side. I want to spend the rest of our lives growing old and angry together. I want to wake up with you. With your hair in a mess and legs tangled with mine. I just... want you"  
Eren's heart began to race, remembering the ring he'd seen in the bedside drawer. The setting couldn't be more romantic. The lights of the city slowly disappearing beneath them, leaving a river of light, rather than just a head on view. So many people lived out there. People he'd never meet. But he didn't need to. He had met his soulmate  
"You're so beautiful, Eren. I never know if I show you enough love. Or if I say it enough. To me, I never thought I'd fall in love with someone like you"  
Someone like him? What the hell was that supposed to mean?  
"Eren?"  
Oh... he had to reply? Shifting in Levi's hold, he nuzzled his boyfriend's cheek  
"I love you too, Levi"  
Had he missed it? Had he been sooking while Levi proposed? He was sure he hadn't missed anything... and he'd just give one of his better blow jobs. He couldn't be faulted for his enthusiasm.... Levi had been rubbing up against his arse, driving him all kinds of crazy, without even noticing what he was doing. Sighing, he tried to pull himself back to reality  
"Are you ok?"  
"Yeah. Just sleepy. And the lights are so pretty. I'm happy we came here"  
"I came here..."  
Eren groaned  
"Really?"  
"True story. Hey Eren, are you a Ferris wheel? Because you make my world go round"  
"Uh... I thought you must be a Ferris wheel, because I want to take a ride on you"  
That was the best he could manage... Levi still laughed  
"Damn, brat. I don't think we have time for that now, but I'm definitely going to hold you to that when we get home. I love you"  
Snuggling back into Levi, he wondered why he hadn't proposed... Maybe he didn't need a proposal, now that they were bonded...? But if that was the case, why did it hurt so much?


	50. Chapter 50

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What the... This was gonna be a fluffy chapter and nek minit... though it does touch on Eren's state of mind and it's an understatement to say our boy is devo Levi didn't propose on the Ferris wheel... it also touches on Eren's escape

Levi wasn't sure if he'd done something wrong again or not. Eren had been off since they'd come back from the festival. He'd nearly forgotten his had earned rabbit in the Ferris wheel cart as it was, and then was in complete daze on the drive home. Arriving home, his boyfriend had disappeared into the bathroom, coming out showered and changed, ready for bed... in his own room... It'd fucking sucked for the alpha. He wanted to spend every single second he could with Eren, before he started back at work. But it hadn't worked out like that. Eren was busy rereading his "school" books, and not nearly as cuddly as he'd been, right up to the day of him returning to work.

Starting work again was exhausting. It felt weird being out of his apartment. All his instincts screamed to stay home with Eren, even with the shit new suppressants he was on. Both he and his secondary dynamic just wanted to be there with Eren incase he needed anything, especially after his last ultrasound. Eren had had a rather spectacular meltdown when they'd gotten back to the safety of his car. Ovarian cysts weren't exactly uncommon, but Eren had freaked out over it. His mate leaping to the conclusion something was majorly wrong with him, apologising on repeat until he'd finally passed out. He hadn't listened to his obstetrician explain nothing was wrong with the pup, and that they were already monitoring him due to the excess amniotic fluid he was carrying. The cyst was noted, but given its size it should cause any worries, or cause any complications if Eren opted to have a natural birth. Part of the problem was that his omega was just freaking out as his dynamic slowly returned to playing an active role in Eren's mentality. The suppressants finally wearing off enough that Levi was being constantly flooded by his lover's pheromones. Not that he minded at all... his debit card on the other hand... he'd gotten a little carried away buying presents for his expecting mate. He'd shopped up a storm buying Eren books, clothes, blankets and pillows. Anything and everything he could think of to keep Eren preoccupied while stuck at home. They'd also talked about finally revealing his pregnancy to Hanji. With things going well with the pup, Levi didn't see why they should hide it, not when he was so fucking proud. The fridge was covered in copies of photos Eren's growing stomach, having used his lover's phone as he slept to forward every single one to him. His pup wasn't even here yet and he fucking adored it. 

Which brought them up to the current issue they were having. The spare room. Eren insisted that he didn't need to push himself to get rid of Isabel and Farlan's things... So some how, a month had passed since he'd first suggested the idea. He knew he could just go ahead and do everything alone, he just... he wanted to organise things with Eren. He wanted to tell him more about Isabel and Farlan, and to plan their nursery together. He didn't understand why Eren kept shooting the idea down. Ever since they'd bonded, he'd found himself more in tune with Eren. He could almost feel his mate's emotions, but when it came to the nursery, his mate was distant. He didn't know what was causing it, all he could think it was as Mike had mentioned, Eren's omega wasn't bonding properly with his pup, and causing him to "reject" it. Eren didn't deserve to feel that way, not when he'd so desperately wanted this pup. In an attempt to make his boyfriend happy, Levi had stopped by a florist on the way home from work, picking up a huge bouquet of bright flowers that he was assured were cat safe. He'd also picked up a few different cake slices from the bakery near home, and extra chocolate. It'd made him nearly an hour late returning home, but hoped would all be forgiven when Eren saw why.

Letting himself into their apartment, Eren was sleeping on the sofa. The blankets having slipped from his lap, exposing his swollen stomach. Curled up on top, Titan looked up at him smugly, the fat feline having formed an obsession with sleeping on Eren's stomach. It was rather cute. Eren couldn't even brush his teeth in the morning without Titan jumping up onto the counter and nuzzling into his swell. Since Eren's omega had started to return, it seemed like Titan was more excited over the pregnancy than Eren. Placing his gifts down on the coffee table, Levi backtracked to make sure the door was locked properly, then headed off to shower. He'd forgotten how nauseating the smell of other alphas could be, though funnily enough, Eren didn't seem to mind or care when he came covered in the scents of others. Showering quickly, he towelled off and dressed in sweats with one of Eren's shirts. Moving to sit on the floor, next to the sofa, he ruffled Eren's hair lovingly. His omega sighing softly in his sleep  
"Hey, brat. I'm home. How do you feel?"  
"Sick"  
"You don't feel well?"  
"Headache"  
Kissing Eren's cheek, his boyfriend swatted at him  
"Let me sleep"  
"Are you sure? I brought you home a present"  
"Fuck. I said, let me sleep"  
No mistaking that. Kissing his cheek again, Levi tried not to let the fact it bothered him show  
"Ok. I'm going to make us dinner"  
"Just go away"  
So what? When he wanted attention, it was just tough shit? Fuck. No. He wasn't going to get mad. He'd cook dinner, than he and Eren would talk.

Levi had only just pulled the pasta out the pantry when his phone started to ring. Hanji's name repeating until he jogged over and snatched up his phone. Groaning, Eren covered his face with the cushion he was using as a pillow, not happy over being disturbed... and probably less happy about the apartment lights being turned on, his lover had fallen asleep with just the TV playing. Sliding his thumb over the screen, he answered Hanji's call, not putting the device to his ear until he was back in the kitchen  
"Levi?! Are you even listening to me?"  
"Sorry. What?"  
"I was congratulating you. Why didn't you tell me Eren was pregnant? How far along is he? He can't be that far, he hasn't mentioned it before. How's he doing? I bet he's suuuuuper excited"  
"Hold on, Shitty Glasses. One step at a time. Eren told you?"  
"He put it up on Facebook..."  
So they were telling everyone then?  
"Levi? Are you ok?"  
"What? I'm fine. I just got home from work"  
"I thought you'd be excited"  
"I am"  
"You don't sound happy. Oh, no. Don't tell me you two are fighting?"  
"No. Eren's just... having some side effects from the shot they gave him in Karanes. They fucking dosed him with a normal suppressant"  
"Why would that have an effect? Hang on. How far along is he?"  
"Just over 18 weeks"  
Hanji screeched through the phone, Levi growling as he was forced to swap the phone over to his other ear  
"18 weeks! Why didn't you tell me?! Is it yours?"  
"He wanted to keep it to himself until he knew everything was alright with the pup, and who the fuck else's was it going to be?!"  
"Is he? Is everything ok? I tried calling, but he didn't answer"  
"He's not happy, and he's taking a nap at the moment"  
"Not happy? I thought he'd be thrilled"  
"His omega. It was suppressed remember. It's taking him a while to readjust and he's been off for the last fortnight. He told me off for waking him from his nap"  
"I'm not surprised. My poor, Honey. Sooooo. A pup?"  
"Yeah. Big and healthy. He's got a cyst on an ovary, and extra fluid, but both have been noted. Other than that, it's really his omega. It's still going to take a few more weeks for the suppressant to wear off completely"  
"He probably feels like shit, and he probably can't help being so moody. You know what he's like"  
"Yeah. He gets mad, gets upset and then feels like shit for it all. It's just hard. He was so keen to do the nursery, and now he's doing everything in his power to avoid it"  
"Can I help?"  
"No. I've ordered him a few things, so when they come, they should help take his mind off things. Until then, I guess I'm stuck with a pregnant omega who doesn't want anything to do with me"

He timed that perfectly. Eren climbing off the sofa and running to his room. The way he slammed the door sent Titan flying into the kitchen, while Levi sighed heavily  
"Levi?"  
"Eren heard me. He's just fled into his room"  
"Oh..."  
"Is that all you've got?"  
"I don't know what to say. He's obviously hurting"  
"No fucking shit. I brought home flowers, cake and chocolate and he didn't give two fucks"  
"Try not to take it too personally. Like you said, he doesn't really mean it"  
"It's still hard... I... we've just bonded and now it feels like he regrets it"  
"He doesn't regret it. You know how long he's waited to bond with you"  
"Yeah, well I was going to fucking propose first, but..."  
Levi winced as Hanji screeched again  
"You were going to propose?!"  
"Before bonding, so he'd get used to the idea of us being together before bonding with him. But I went and fucked that up"  
"Ooooh. Do you think he knows you were going to? Is that why he's mad?"  
"I don't see how he could... the ring is hidden"  
"Is it hidden, or is it Levi hidden?"  
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"  
"That you've lived alone so long, you haven't needed to really hide anything away. Anyway. I have to go, but if you need me to come over, let me know. Or if Eren wants to come stay, I wouldn't mind. It'd be great experience for him"  
"I'll keep it in mind"  
Ending the call, he felt better for having talked to Hanji. Even if Eren was upset at him, he hadn't known how much he needed to get everything off his chest. Even if it was to Hanji, rather than Erwin.

Levi went ahead and made dinner for them, he could Eren crying in his room, but he forced himself not to go to him. He wanted to give Eren a chance to organise his own thoughts... and he felt guilty as fuck. Eren had missed the whole of the rest of the conversation, or maybe he just didn't care? Leaving both plates of chicken and pasta on the bench, Levi headed to Eren's door, knocking lightly before trying the handle. He'd thought it would be locked, but reddit gave under his hold. With the suppressants waning, Eren's whole room stank of distress, with after notes of rejection. He wasn't going through that bullshit again. The bonding mark on his neck throbbed in response to his mate's rejection   
"Brat..."  
"G-go away"  
Hidden under his blankets, only tufts of brown hair was visible. From the looks of his room, Eren was trying to nest. Items of their clothing had made it into the organised chaos, even his missing spare work jacket. Knowing better than to ruin Eren's attempted nest, he was careful to climb over the side and up to his boyfriend, pulling back the blankets enough to reveal Eren's pale face  
"Oh, Eren. Hey. It's ok, I'm here"  
Reaching out for him, Levi cursed himself. Eren had scratched at his arms. He'd fucked up by giving him space. Lifting his boyfriend up to sit, he took Eren's hands in his  
"L-Levi... What's wrong with me?!"

He had to play this one carefully, but at least with Eren thinking he was mad at him had gotten him to talk. Once again, he'd been so concerned about Eren's needs and need for space, he hadn't pushed him when he really should have. No. The reality was, that he was running again. It was easier to say Eren was in the wrong, rather than risk talking to him and being yelled at. His omega might not be the same omega he'd met, but after everything, Eren always picked himself back up. He should have fucking known. He should have fucking tried harder. Why was it that Eren reduced him to spineless coward without saying a word  
"Nothing. Nothing's wrong with you..."  
"Then why don't I want our pup, anymore?! Why am I so angry with you?! I don't know what's happening anymore"  
"It's not you. It's your omega"  
"My omega is me... and you're stuck with me"  
"I didn't mean it like that. I was talking to Hanji. She's really excited for us. She said she saw your online post"  
Eren wasn't having it. His lover's scent replacing it's hints of rejection with pure anger  
"Why can't I be excited for us?! I was so happy!"  
"Eren, it's because they gave you the wrong kind of suppressant. We've talked about this. Your omega is coming back, and it's going to take some time to get your head around it"  
"You don't get it! I want to want you... but I feel so angry all the time... I deserve this..."  
His mate's words faded into a mumble, Eren drawing his knees up to cross his legs, then becoming very interested in his green blanket  
"No. No, you don't. Why didn't you talk to me?"  
"Because what was I supposed to say? You're under so much stress and you've only just gone back to work. I want to be strong. I want to be reliable. I can't say that I don't want this pup? I'm angry because we bonded before you even proposed? That I hate myself and now that my omega's coming back... I feel so fucking guilty, Levi... I... I wasn't supposed to survive. People died again... and Floch can't tell me anything"  
Floch? What the fuck did he have to do with anything? And people dying? He'd... sort of figured...  
"What does that even mean? That you weren't supposed to survive?"  
Eren shook his head, letting out a small huff   
"I... just... I'm not ok, am I? Why am I so mad at you...?"  
"I don't know. But, I've spent the last two weeks trying to figure it out"  
"I'm an arsehole. Why can't we go back in time? Before everything happened?"  
"Because it doesn't work like that"  
"I... don't hate you... I'm just sorry you're stuck with someone like me"  
"I'm happy to be stuck with someone like you"  
"What... what does it mean? Y-you called me that on the Ferris wheel..."  
"Have you been worried about that?"  
"Y-yes"  
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything bad by it. I just meant, you're the most amazing omega I've ever met. Even if you were wearing gold shorts when I met you"  
"I miss dancing. I guess I'm never going to dance again"  
"Becoming a mother doesn't mean that you won't dance again"  
"Not like that"  
"Do you miss it?"  
Eren nodded sadly, his scent changing back to rotten fruit again, with hints of exhaustion   
"More than you could know... I think I want to sleep now. I don't feel good"  
"You said you had a headache?"  
"I did?"  
"I tried to wake you up when I came home. You told me to go away"  
"I'm sorry. I don't mean it... I don't want to be mean to you... anyone but you"  
"It's ok. You're going through a lot of scary changes right now"  
"It's never ok to be mean to you"  
"I'm an alpha, I've got thick skin"  
"We both know you're a big softy"  
"Only for you. Let me clean your arms, then you can sleep off your headache"  
"Sorry... I don't know if I can handle it"  
Levi momentarily felt like a kicked puppy, forcing his face to remain neutral as he nodded  
"If I bring everything in, will you do it?"  
"Maybe... I hate this, Levi. I hate all of this"  
"It'll get better as your hormones balance out and your omega settles. I really wish you hadn't scratched"  
"I feel dirty"  
"You're not dirty. I'll be right back"

Eren did as he asked, rubbing antiseptic cream on his arms, but he didn't want to dress them. Letting his omega curl back up, Eren was soon asleep again. For now, the nursery would have to wait. He'd expected some kind of self hatred from Eren, given how upset the omega would get over something as small as gaining a kilo or two... He'd even expected the rejection of the pup, but to hear he hated it... He couldn't fucking take it. Dinner no longer seemed appetising, so for the time since Eren returned home, he pulled out the scotch. He'd found it in the spare room, after thinking he'd rid his apartment completely of alcohol. Now he was glad it'd been hidden away. Pouring himself a double shot, he nursed the drink in one hand, while cleaning up Eren's surprises. The flowers naturally didn't need to be refrigerated, but the cake was in danger from Titan. It blew his mind to think Eren could possibly hate the life they'd created within him. Especially are the pregnancy scare. It wasn't fair on his omega. Nor was it fair that Eren had seen more people die... not that he was sure he understood that... Floch seemed to know what was going on... Maybe he could call him? Let him know Eren wasn't doing so great and that he really needed answers or something... It was so fucking hard to know just what his omega needed.

 

*  
Laying on his bed, Eren was rubbing his stomach. He couldn't quite believe he was pregnant. He and Levi had both wanted a pup so badly, and now... Now they were going to be parents. When his father had done the tests, he'd thought he was just sick from the amount of stress he was under. He'd been spotting blood, and all it took was the slightest movement to make him want to vomit. It was the happiest moment of his life... until he realised he was living in an organ farm. His father had been scared, destroying the test and test results, and banning him from mentioning it, then pumping him full off injections that he was too sick to fight off. He'd even offered him an abortion, almost forced it on him when he said no. He wasn't about to sacrifice his pup, not after everything he and Levi went through when his tests had been negative. He was already in love with it... He didn't care what his father said he wasn't about to talk. It wasn't like had anyone to talk to anyway. He didn't want to make friends. He was allowed to talk to his father's patients and that was it. Which was limiting with no voice. Sign language was fun in a way, but he struggled with even basic letters. His father losing patience with him from time to time, leaving him cowering in fear. Certain that one day he was going to hurt for not being the smart and perfect alpha son the man had wanted.

He'd only known for a couple of weeks when his father woke him in the middle of the night. He had no idea what was happening, only that his dad was covered in blood and babbling like a mad man. Eren's heart was racing as he rushed to dress, begging his dad to tell him what was wrong. Dragged over to the door, he didn't even think to question why it wasn't locked... instead he hurried through the house thing they were living in, his father finding a knife from somewhere and pressing it into his hand. Reaching the centre courtyard, the main research building was on fire. Scared omega's huddled together   
"Eren, they know about your baby. We need to get you out of here"  
His father tried to pull him along, but Eren dug his heels in. Dropping the knife so he could angrily sign   
"We need to get them all out of here"  
"We don't have time"  
"I'm not fucking leaving them! I'm not you! I don't kill innocent people"  
His father looked to the other omegas  
"Alright. Alright, there's a way..."  
Snatching up the knife, his father took off in a jog towards the omegas.

Getting hysterical omega's and children to be quiet was impossible. The black smoke in the air stung at Eren's eyes, making him hack and retch from chemical smell in the air. Trying to lead them, his father was bringing up the rear. That was when a pack of alphas came out of nowhere. Screaming at them, the omega's ran on, while Eren ran towards his father. He didn't know why his feet didn't carry him the other way, only that seeing them chasing the others made him fucking furious, and seeing them without the backup of the compound... He felt strong. These men wanted to hurt his pup and there was no way he was letting that happen. As one of the alphas pulled a gun on his father, another grabbed him from behind. He didn't even think twice as he jumped onto the back of the large man, the knife he was holding sliding into the alpha easily as he let out a feral growl. The stabbed alpha roared, releasing his father and staggering as Eren released his hold, pulling the knife from him and driving it into his back. The other alphas were yelling at him. Even his father was yelling at him. He didn't see how the man got the gun from the alpha he stabbed, but his father shot three of the four remaining alphas, before their leader shot him. Screaming in rage, he tried to start forward, but his father tired again. Hitting the man in the leg and dropping him down. Shooting the man again, his father looked to him to coldly. Not even phased by what had happened. Blood rushed to cover his white sweater, his knees going weak as Eren rushed to grab him before he hit the ground  
"Eren. You need to run"  
Shaking his head, he didn't want to hear it  
"Yes. I've taken care of them... they won't come after you if you get away from here. Not now..."  
Eren kept shaking his head  
"I deserve this. Let me do this"  
No. He didn't fucking forgive him and he didn't get to die like this...  
"Eren, I'm bleeding out. If they catch you, they can start this all over again. Your baby is perfectly healthy. You and Levi can build a family, but you have to run"  
He had no right talking about family!  
"Y-your mum... she wanted to stay and fight. She didn't understand. She didn't understand what they made me do. She didn't understand when I wanted to send you away. I didn't mean to kill her. They were going to come after all of us. And if they caught us, death would have been the least of your worries... When I shot her... I wasn't thinking straight. I thought if she was going to die, I should be the one to kill her. But you... you need to run and don't look back"  
Hearing a snap, his head shot up  
"There's a fence, they're running towards a fence. If you can get over the fence, you're free"  
That didn't work for pregnant omega's or the small children. He needed to get to them to help...  
"Go, Eren"

He fucking hated his father and couldn't forgive him for his mother. Looking at the pathetic shell of man, he turned and ran. He was going home to Levi. This was the closest to an escape he'd gotten, because his piece of shit father had given him an opening. Used his pregnancy as an excuse to kill. He'd never be like his father.

Running, he found the fence. Omega's were helping other omega's climb. Turning back towards the way he came, he saw Bertholdt running towards them. Again, his feet carried him forward, running at the alpha. Bertholdt had fucking killed Zeke. Had bashed the shit out of Levi and threatened to kill him. He didn't give two shits what the man did to him, but Levi. No one touched his fucking alpha. Charging the alpha like a mad man, he grappled him around the waist as he blindly tried to stab at the same time. Thrown to the ground, Bertholdt snarled, while Eren verged on being feral. All the could think about was protecting his pup and getting back to Levi. Rolling and picking himself up, he charged the alpha again. Lashing out with the knife, he slice deeply into Bertholdt's arm, Bertholdt answering by punching him in the face. He'd never imagined being able to overpower the alpha, but driven by pure rage, he somehow did, straddling Bertholdt's lap as he stabbed downwards.

Drenched in blood, Eren realised what he done. Climbing off Bertholdt, the alpha was still breathing. Looking over his shoulder to the fence, the omegas and children that couldn't go over. Had somehow gotten the fence up enough to go under. Turning, his ankle was grabbed. Trying to kick Bertholdt off, his shoe came loose. It was some kind of impractical sandal thing. Taking off the moment his shoe snapped, he reached the fence and started climbing. Too scared to let the knife go... not when Reiner could still be out there. He made it a little over halfway before his ankle was grabbed again, Bertholdt howling as his fingers closed with a vice like grip. Kicking down, Eren clung to the fence hard enough he felt the metal digging in, and heard himself crying out in pain. Fighting him the best he could, the alpha's nose crunched as his heel came into contact with his face. Kicking him again, Bertholdt grabbed him by the other ankle, Eren screaming as his body was stretched against his will. He wasn't going back there. He wasn't going to be locked in that dark room for being bad. He wasn't going to watch his father come back covered in blood and know another omega had been butchered. He was going home to Levi! Yelping as Bertholdt tried to climb up him, Eren forced his left hand to let go of the fence, swinging and waving the knife like a mad man. Screaming at him to let him go. If Bertholdt pulled him down, it was all over. They take his pup and butcher it. They'd make him watch and kill him... He fought. His hand cut open on the metal fence that was scratching at his chest. He couldn't reach Bertholdt, but it was enough to make him pause. Hearing Reiner scream his name in the background, he felt like another burst of strength hit, or maybe Bertholdt was distracted by his mate. Releasing him just enough, Eren got his left ankle free, driving his foot into Bertholdt's face. The alpha howling as his heel connected with his eye socket. Releasing his right ankle, Eren nearly fell from the sudden release and shift in balance... And he fucking took his chance, scaling then fence and catching his shirt as he did. The thin flimsy fabric did nothing to protect him anyway. It tore so easily when it caught on a stray piece of barbed wire. Another omega had stolen a blanket from somewhere, but in his hurry, he scaled the bit that wasn't covered. Dropping to the other side of the fence, Reiner was screaming at him. His hands covered in blood as Bertholdt bled out in his arms. He didn't regret it. He knew he should. But because of him, he was dirty. He was dirty and Zeke was dead. He'd lost someone he'd loved, even if it'd all been a lie. Zeke had been what he'd needed, and even after betraying him, he still cared more about him than his father who'd just died for him. Holding the knife tighter, he fucking bolted before Reiner could come after him. He didn't even care where he was running. The other omegas all scattering. He didn't know what was going to happen, or what would happen if anyone found him. He just knew he wasn't going to let anyone stop him from getting back to Levi.

 

*  
Levi had dozed off the sofa when Eren's screaming woke him. Screaming to be let go, it sounded like he was having the worst fucking nightmare to date. The pain and panic in Eren's voice, causing his chest to tighten as he rushed into his mate's room. Eren was thrashing and fighting whoever was in his nightmare, his nest half destroyed as he screamed. Rushing up and onto the bed, his lover's fought him as he tried to shake Eren awake  
"Eren!"  
Yelling his name, Eren's body arched up under him, his omega howling in what Levi could only describe as misery  
"Eren! You need to wake up!"  
Shaking him harder, Eren sucked in a huge breath, shooting up under him, before dropping back down and whimpering   
"Eren... Hey. Hey. It was just a dream..."  
Releasing his shoulders, Eren rolled away from him, curling into a ball as he his whole form continued to shake. Reaching over, Levi flicked the lamp on, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath before opening them and releasing it. His boyfriend had pissed his bed. His pyjama bottoms soaked through, as were the sheets and blankets of the nest  
"Eren"  
"Leave m-me alone"  
"I can't do that..."  
His omega's voice was scratchy from his screams. How he hadn't woken himself, Levi didn't know. Placing his hand on Eren's shoulder, Eren whimpered  
"You're alright. You're safe now. It was just a dream"  
"I... it wasn't just a dream!"  
"Just now, you were having a nightmare. Was it your mum? Or Zeke?"  
"I killed someone... I think I killed him..."  
"Eren..."  
"Stop saying my name! Just stop!"  
"Eren, I'm here. I love you"  
"Didn't you hear me... I kill someone"  
"You..."  
No. He needed Eren to calm down enough to listen to him   
"Eren. I know how that feels"  
"H-how could you?"  
"I've lost so many many people"  
"P-people you were trying to save"  
"And people who begged for help, only for us to be there as they died... It fucking sucks"  
"I just wanted to come home to you. That's all I wanted"  
"You made it home. You're home with me... come here"  
Rolling Eren back, he stroked his mate's hair as he took his cheek into his hold with his other hand  
"P-people died"  
"I'm sorry you had to go through that"  
"D-dad... he k-killed them"  
Levi swallowed down his shock  
"Your father?"  
"H-he was alive. All this time... but he died!"  
Sobbing in earnest, the nightmare had shaken Eren up enough to talk a little more. Levi had to wonder if their earlier conversation had anything to do with it   
"He died! I hate him! I hate him!"  
"I know... I know you do"  
Levi wasn't particularly fond of the man either. Crooning softly, he tried to release as many soothing pheromones as he could, which wasn't the easiest thing to accomplish while on suppressants. Slowly Eren let himself be drawn into his hold, nuzzling his neck softly  
"You need a shower. Don't worry about the bed, I'll take care of it"  
"O-ok..."  
"And don't worry about what happened. If it was that bad, Floch would have told you"  
"Ok..."

Showering his exhausted Eren, Levi had to do all the work. His boyfriend too exhausted to voice any of his needs, wetting himself further as Levi helped him into the shower. It was like he was on autopilot, keeping his eyes closed for the whole process. Drying and dressing him in sweats alone, he carried Eren to their room. Eren might not be able to handle physical contact or welcome his touch, but there was no fucking way he was making Eren sleep in his filthy bed. Making sure he was warm and comfortable, his boyfriend was still awake, yet too tired to move. Retrieving Titan, the fat cat settled up against Eren's stomach   
"I've got to take care of a few more things, then I'll come to bed. Try not to worry, ok. I'm not mad at you over any of this"  
Brushing Eren's fringe from his face, he felt a hint of clamminess. The last thing Eren needed was to be getting sick or feverish, especially when he felt so shit. Opting not to sleep, he knew he'd regret it, but his love needed him more than he needed sleep.

 

As he'd feared, Eren spiked one of his stress fevers during the night. His boyfriend mumbling in his sleep, making it hard to go to work the following morning. Calling Erwin for advice, his friend had suggested taking him to the hospital. Levi was 90 percent sure that that would only serve to put more stress on Eren, though he was worried about the pup. He'd hated Eren's fevers before he'd fallen pregnant, so it was understandable that he loathed them now he was. No. Loathed didn't encompass every single fibre of his hate for them. Though, this was Eren's first real fever while pregnant. It was only a few minutes after he'd hung up on Erwin that Hanji called, telling him to take Eren to the ER and she'd stay with him. It wasn't a great plan, but Eren had sweated through his sweats and risked dehydration. Not to mention the stress on his body. 

Disobeying almost every road rule he could, while driving as safely as possible, Hanji still managed to beat them there. Her, Mike and Nanaba all ready and waiting for them upon arrival. Erwin was there too, just off having a cigarette rather than spending 30 fucking seconds to make sure Eren was going to be ok. Explaining Eren's troubles with his omega and his nightmares, Mike took it all in his stride, while Hanji felt the need to translate despite him knowing exactly what was going on. His anger was poorly contained as he was forced to leave his omega in their hands, the promises of updated doing nothing to reassure him. Anything could happen while he was at work. Eren could suddenly take a turn for the worse, or could miscarry the pup, and he'd be too far away from him to help. It was sorely tempting to tell his boss to go fuck himself, but at the same time, Eren wanted him to be working. They needed the money... Not for the first time since they'd met, was Erwin forced to suffer through a shift filled with Levi's insufferable mood. It wasn't his fault he had so much to work through. Eren's dad had still been alive... and who had Eren killed? And why? How had his omega even ended up in a situation where he had to kill?

 

*  
Coming off shift, Levi had Erwin drop him at the hospital. Despite the late hour, he was known well enough to be allowed to see his omega. Guided through the ward to Eren's room, his boyfriend was all alone. Connected to both a heart rate monitor and an IV drip, Eren still managed to look peaceful as he slept with his hands on his stomach. Grabbing the visitors chair, Levi carried it closer, setting it down next to Eren's bed before he went about taking his boots off, and retrieving a good dollop of hand sanitiser. The last thing he needed was to make Eren actually sick, not when his boyfriend actually seemed to be getting some real rest. Unable to resist temptation, he leaned in an stole a small kiss, Eren rousing as he did. The smile on his brat's face was equal parts sleepy and dopey   
"Hey"  
"Hey. How are you feeling?"  
"You just missed it. I had another ultrasound"  
Levi doubted he "just" missed it. It'd probably been hours. Sitting on the edge of the bed, the tucked Eren's hair back behind his ear  
"Yeah?"  
"Mmm... He's ok. They were worried he was distressed, but he's ok"  
"He?"  
They were due to find the sex out at the next ultrasound...  
"Mmm... I don't really know. I just think a mini-Levi would be adorable"  
What was adorable was the small yawn Eren gave while trying to say "adorable"  
"Did Hanji leave?"  
"Earlier, Anna was tired so I told her to go. I have to stay for a few days as it is"  
Mike had mentioned that, but he hadn't been sure if Eren knew, or how much his boyfriend would understand. Smiling softly, he nuzzled into Eren's hair, still damn from fever  
"Yeah. Mike mentioned it"  
"Apparently my omega was flooding my system with testosterone instead of oestrogen. He wants me to stay until my hormones level out. And they want to monitor the pup"  
"Your omega's a bit of a dick"  
"That's what I said. I'm sorry, I'm really sleepy"  
"Get some sleep, I'll be right here"  
Going to slide off the bed, Eren lightly tugged his shirt  
"Can you stay?"  
"I'm not leaving"  
"I mean here..."  
Here would be in bed... Eren had struggled so badly with him touching him before, and now he wanted him to stay? He was not saying no to that   
"Let me just take my belt off, alright?"  
"Mmm... sorry I'm so sleepy"  
"Don't worry about it. You need all the rest you can get"

Stripping off his belt, he decided to lose his pants too. He probably didn't want to think about what on the... next went his work shirt, leaving him in a plain black shirt and his boxer briefs. He was more concerned with being there for Eren, than if the nursing staff copped a look at him in his underwear. Climbing under the covers, Eren whined softly as he curled into his side, his swollen stomach resting against Levi's, making it the perfect place to rest his hand  
"Everything ok?"  
"Mmm... I'm sorry I'm an arsehole"  
"You're not an arsehole. Your omega hadn't returned as much when you had your last bloods. The hormone spike would have been picked up in your next test"  
Eren yawned again, snuggling into him further. His face hidden against Levi's chest as one hand sleepily gripped his shirt   
"I love how you explain it so I get it. They all talk at me, not to me"  
Mike should have known better, but then again, he wasn't used to dealing with Eren on a daily basis. And with Hanji in the room the conversation had probably, for the most part, gone right over Eren's head  
"That's because I love you. Get some sleep. I'm right here"  
"Love you too, Lee"

Nurses came in to check on Eren twice during the night, his boyfriend still sleepy as he answered their questions, while none of them were game to kick him out. They'd only just woken up when Erwin came knocking. Eren seemed to be much happier than he had been in days, sliding off the bed, he left the two of them to talk while heading to the bathroom. Climbing out of bed, Erwin raised an eyebrow at the lack of pants   
"Don't start"  
"I wasn't going to. How's he doing?"  
"He's going to be here for another night"  
"And the pup?"  
"Good. It was in distress when he was brought in, but they've settled down. The problem's his omega, fucking with his hormone levels. Where's Hanji?"  
"She's coming in later. Anna was still sleeping when I left"  
He didn't want Eren left alone, but it looked like he had no choice. Coming shuffling back from the bathroom, Eren yawned sleepily  
"Hey, Erwin"  
"Hey, Eren. How are you feeling?"  
"Better... sleepy. Fat... bloated... gassy... the usual"  
Walking into him, his boyfriend wrapped his arms around him. Eren's breath smelt like something had died in his mouth as he pressed a sloppy kiss to his cheek  
"Have fun at work"  
"I'm not even dressed and you're kicking me out"  
"Mmm, you need to go home and shower. And to eat. I bet you didn't eat last night"  
"He's got you there"  
"It's fine"  
He'd been too worried about Eren to care about food  
"It's not fine. Erwin, make sure he eats, showers and charges his phone. I need mine too. This place is boring"  
"Hanji will be coming in with Anna again"  
Eren groaned, almost trying to hide behind him  
"You don't want Hanji to come?"  
"Anna cried the whole time yesterday, and Hanji's going crazy planning the nursery... I just want to sleep"  
"How about she comes in in the afternoon instead?"  
"That might be better"  
Fucking Erwin. He didn't want Eren being tortured by Hanji, but again, he didn't want him left alone  
"I'll send her a message and let her know. Levi, you should probably put some pants on"  
"You could have brought me a spare uniform"  
"Just shower at work. Sorry I have to steal him"  
Releasing him, Eren climbed his way back into bed   
"Just make sure he takes care of himself... His pup needs at least parent that's not falling apart"  
"You're not falling apart. Your omega's just a dick"  
Eren hummed, hands on his stomach again. Someone had cleaned and dressed his arms for him, and for that he was grateful  
"You have no idea. I've only just woken up and it's already started"  
"Is it bad?"  
"Not great"  
Levi frowned, Erwin catching his eye and clearing his throat  
"I might just wait outside. I'll be sure to keep an eye on Levi for you"  
"Thanks, Erwin"

Pulling his pants on, Levi sighed. It was too fucking early for all this shit  
"Are you going to be ok? I don't want you here alone"  
"I'll be fine. If I sleep, I don't have to hear my omega"  
"How bad is it?"  
"It's... it's still upset about the pup... and at you. I honestly don't know"  
"I could..."  
"You're going to work. Like Erwin said, Hanji will come in at lunch"  
"If you send me home, I'll be late tonight"  
"I need a shower. Can you bring my stuff in? I feel as gross as my mouth"  
"Get Hanji to send me a list. I can charge my phone at work"  
"Can't you just remember!?"  
Snapping, Eren immediately looked regretful, mumbling   
"Sorry"  
"No. It's ok"  
"It's really not. I'm going to try get some more sleep before they poke at me again"  
"Alright. Don't forget to tell them in your uncomfortable or in pain. They can't treat you if they don't know what's going on"  
"I won't risk the pup..."  
"And I won't risk you. I love you, brat"  
Eren "buried" himself under his thin blankets. He'd told Erwin that Eren would be in for another night, when in all honesty he didn't know. It wasn't easy to bring a moody hormone controlling omega back under control, without suppressing it again, which was only going make things worse in the long run. He really should grab his boyfriend a few blankets when he went home  
"Get your pants on. Erwin's waiting"  
"My pants are on. Give me a kiss"  
"I'm not coming out"  
Levi snorted, snagging his shirt as he pulled back the blankets enough to kiss Eren cheek, before ducking down and kissing Eren's stomach. Not satisfied with simply kissing, he nuzzled into the swell  
"Leeevi"  
"I know, but I'm a proud alpha"  
"You're a fucking weirdo"  
"The weirdo you're bonded to for the rest of your life"  
Eren gave an exaggerated groan  
"Don't remind me. Now go save some lives"  
Stealing a small kiss from Eren's lips, he copped a hit to the cheek   
"Leeevi, you need to go"  
"I know. I just can't help myself. I'll be back tonight"  
"It's not nice to threaten people like that"  
"Is it a threat or a promise?"  
"I'll leave you thinking about it. Let me know when I come back"  
"Just goooooo away"

 

*  
As soon as Levi was gone, Eren missed him. He hated being such an arsehole to his boyfriend, but ever since Levi hadn't proposed and his omega had started coming back. He wasn't having a fun time. He didn't even feel like he wanted his own pup anymore, while Levi had been pressuring him over the nursery. He just needed a fucking break. Everything was overwhelming, so maybe being in hospital was where he belonged. He felt insane. His omega constantly telling him his boyfriend didn't want him, because he hadn't proposed. They were fucking bonded. They were having a pup together. Their lives couldn't get any more intertwined. A proposal shouldn't matter as much as it did. He was triply sure he shouldn't feel this way when Levi worshiped the ground he walked on. He adored him, and would do anything for him.

Once again, he was poked at off and on. The baby monitored for distress, while the nurses kept checking to see if his fever had returned. Mike had stopped by to see him, explaining they were testing a few different things in an attempt to settle his omega, and to let the medical staff to contact him if he needed anything explained. That was nooot happening. He had Levi for that. His restful morning ending with him not getting the slightest bit of rest. The headache that had plagued him for days, seemed destined to last forever. Lingering despite being given painkillers for it, and a sedative to keep him calm. Thanks to his nightmares and agitated state, he was alone in his room. Mike had said he'd pulled some strings, and as much as he didn't really want to share a room with strangers, he felt isolated. The nightmare he'd had that caused the fever was the worst he'd had since coming home. It was so fucking vivid, like he was actually reliving his escape from the compound. He'd even broken down and admitted to Levi that he thought he'd murdered someone... He'd wanted Levi to be mad at him, but he'd just stayed with him. Levi was better than this. Levi was a good person, who'd been through so much. He didn't deserve a mate who was falling apart.

When Hanji arrived for lunch, she wasn't alone. Anna was with her, naturally. The girl in a much better mood as Hanji sat her down on his bed, but what he wasn't expecting Marco to shyly enter his room. Mina in his arms as he gave a small and nervous "Hi". He was not ready for this. He wasn't ready for Hanji. Out of the four of them, Anna was the only one he was happy to see, the little girl laughing as he tickled her belly  
"Marco, stop standing there. He's not going to bite you"  
Eren was sorely tempted to. He didn't know what to say. "Hi?". It didn't seem enough. He'd been cut to pieces by Marco's seemingly lack of concern over their friendship after the birth of Mina... and things since hadn't been what he'd call a friendship. Marco only relying on him to vent, yet not asking how he was or how he was doing. Until he went missing again. He and Hanji had their own little "mummy" club, leaving him on the outside... Where he always felt he was  
"So, how's our little pup today?"  
Marco nervously came to sit in the visitors chair as Hanji was sitting on the edge of the bed. Mina was blessed to look so much like Marco, rather than the horse-faced arsehole that was Jean  
"Busy, but better. They've already poked all morning"  
"And Levi? I bet he stayed all night"  
"He was lucky, I was doped up last night, so he got cuddles. He got hit this morning"  
Hanji howled with laughter, startling him and Anna. Mina was too busy trying to escape Marco's hold  
"Erwin said you were tired"  
"That means nothing here. I swear, the moment I think I'm going to get some sleep, they're back"  
"That's because they're all scared I'm going to lecture them"  
"Can you not. I'm sick of being poked. They reckon I'm getting another IV this afternoon"  
"How are your veins?"  
"Poked at. They left the cannula in"  
"Oooh, look at you throwing out big words"  
"Blame Levi. He took it out this morning for me. Erwin turned up like 5 minutes after we woke up"  
"I remember the good old days. Did you know, he only used to sleep a few hours each night"  
"He sleeps like the dead. You should see him in the mornings. Even this morning, he didn't want to leave. The pup's not even here and he's head over heels for him"  
"Him?! Wait, it's a boy?"  
Ah fuck. He hadn't meant to say that  
"It's not confirmed... I just thought a mini-Levi would be cute. And you've both got two adorable girls..."  
"A mini-Levi. Oh my gosh. Marco could you imagine. A baby with Levi's scowl"  
Eren pouted, shifting Anna to his lap so he could sit up  
"Levi smiles"  
"Very rarely. Even Jean smiles more"  
"Marco, you've got it wrong. You should see Eren and Levi together. They're so loved up, you'd never believe how much Levi used to scowl. Some of the nursing staff used to be scared of him because of it. He's really mellowed out"  
Levi had always been a kind person, even when they were just strangers. He'd taken his time to show him there was more to life than he could ever imagine... but he still hadn't proposed. Fuck. Here came the stupid tears  
"I've seen the photos, you both look happy. I know I said it online, but congratulations on bonding with Levi, and on the pup... I always thought you'd go back to dancing. It's nice that you've settled down with your alpha"  
He hadn't fucking danced like that since getting with Levi. And dancing for Levi... yeah... He loved how jealous Levi got over it all, but he also missed dancing. In the back of his mind, his omega perked up, taking this chance to remind him how useless he was for not working, and for relying on Levi to support him. He'd grown far too used to the love and support of his alpha, and other than cleaning the apartment, he wasn't really sure what he was bringing to their relationship, other than a fuck load of trouble and disturbing dreams  
"I know right. Aren't the two of them just the sweetest? My Honey here, deserves to be happy"  
He really wasn't sure if he did. He'd killed someone. He'd watched his father kill to save his life. His father had fucking died for him. Zeke had died for him. His mum had died for him...

Caught up in his own thoughts, he didn't smell the slight rotten odour that Hanji and Marco both caught. Lifting Anna from his hold, Hanji passed her to Marco, before taking his hand  
"Eren? Are you ok?"  
"S-sorry... I..."  
His hands were shaking, a cold shiver running up his spine unexpectedly. His stomach filled with the feeling of gassy bubbles, which apparently meant his pup was moving. His omega still acting like a bitch over the whole thing... feeling much like he had when he'd returned home. It felt like it was on the outside. Like the pup wouldn't or couldn't love it for being away, and if their own pup couldn't love them... then what was the point of any of this... He loved his pup, but it was so fucking hard to keep his omega's feelings over the matter from bleeding in  
"Marco, why don't you take the girls outside for a moment?"  
"N-no. It's ok... I just need to calm down"  
"Do you want me to call Levi? Or a nurse?"  
"My emotions are all over the place. It's ok... really"  
"Then do you want to talk about what you're feeling? Marco and I have both been through this before..."  
"I don't think you'd understand"  
"Why don't you try us?"  
"No. It's ok. Can we just change topic?"  
He didn't want to admit he was a defective omega out loud. Both Marco and Hanji had adored their pups while pregnant. He didn't want to admit he couldn't currently feel the same way  
"I might get the nurse anyway. Your BP has shot right up"  
"It's fine"  
"It's not fine. You're not supposed to be stressing. It's bad for you and for the pup"  
"Can you just stop it. Both of you. I've had enough of it. You're both treating me differently and I hate it. I hate it and I hate being in here, and made to feel like a freak because of my omega. I already have Levi asking me if I'm ok, every five minutes and I'm sick of it. Yes. I went missing again. Yes. It was messed up. And no. I don't want to talk about it. You guys are visiting me while I'm stuck in here. You're supposed to be telling me how things are out there. I don't want to talk about me. I don't want to talk about how cranky Levi is. He's always, always been good to me. Even when he stuffs up, he doesn't do it to intentionally hurt me. It's not his fault I'm stuck in here and he is the first alpha that I wasn't scared of to begin with. So if you're going to keep bad mouthing him, or making fun of him, I don't want to hear it"  
His chest heaved as if he'd run a marathon, glaring at Hanji as pulled her hand from his. The bubbles in his stomach had only grown worse, but that was probably due to his anger. His mouth and mood had gotten the better of him, and now Hanji was looking at him with a look that almost bordered on pity. It wasn't really, though. His anger misinterpreting her look of genuine remorse  
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. You're right. I seem to keep putting my foot in things. I just... I care about you so much, that I say these things without even thinking. You're like a son to me, and I'm thrilled for you and Levi. I know he's a good man, and being with you makes him happier than I've ever seen. Sometimes... Sometimes I can't help but be jealous. Without Moblit, things have been so hard. He always knew what to do and say. I don't even know if I'm a good mother to Anna"  
Shit. Shit. Shit  
"Hanji, you're a great mum. Anna is happy and healthy, and completely in love with you. The problem is me. My omega hates my pup... it feels left out... I... I'm what's wrong"  
Hanji flung herself on him. The woman never doing things by halves  
"We all have times we feel like that. Disconnected from our pups... you're not alone and you're not a problem. Right, Marco?"  
"She's right. I know I've been a really bad friend, but you got me through my pregnancy. You helped me so much, and even delivered Mina. I never wanted things to turn out like they were. I didn't even realise how I was acting until I lost you as a friend. I've missed you"  
"See. You helped me too. You were there for me. You helped clean my house, and you bossed Levi, and Erwin around to help get the nursery done. You were there for me for Anna's birth. But you always try to do everything alone. You're always so hard on yourself"  
"You guys can say that because you don't know what I've done"  
Hanji shook her head  
"You're still our friend... we both have beautiful healthy daughters because of you"  
And how many omega's had lost their pups because of his father? The man had saddled him with the burden of his guilt. How was he ever going to escape that?! Behind him, the buzzer rang. Jumping at the unexpected sound, he wasn't happy Hanji had pushed it  
"Right now, as your friend, I'm telling you that you need to rest. Marco and I can come back later, or tomorrow, or whenever you want. But please, for us, get some sleep. You deserve to be happy, and for your pup to be healthy. You and Levi deserve this"  
Hanji kissed his forehead, like a mother would  
"I guess we're going... I'll message you"  
Eren nodded. He didn't have his phone, so by the time Marco did, maybe he'd be able to figure out what to say to him? Sliding off the bed, Hanji gathered Anna up. Mina starting to cry as the two we're separated. It was kind of cute, but it also hurt to see. Marco and Hanji were both amazing parents. He could only hope to be that good... one day.


	51. Chapter 51

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mmmmmmmmmmm

Eren's had spent a week in hospital, his omega then returning fully over the next two weeks. It was a roller coaster for both of them. Eren still struggling to control emotions. Some days and nights were better than others. Some days Eren couldn't even get out bed, thanks to being exhausted by his nightmares or the inability to get comfortable. Then some days, he couldn't get out of bed without being reduced into a panicking mess over the smallest of things. Like Levi closing a drawer too hard... he'd taken his bad shift out on the cutlery drawer, causing Eren to bolted into the bathroom. He'd stayed there for the better part of three hours before calming down enough to come back out. Then there were the sudden bouts of anger that seemed to well up from nothing at all... He'd bought eggs without thinking about it, eggs still seemingly taboo in the apartment. Eren had lost hit shit over it, throwing each and every single one of the dozen at him with angry screams. If it'd been anyone other than Eren, he would have been pissed. Handling the situation like a mature adult, he'd laughed. He couldn't help it. Eren had run out of curses after the forth egg, just defaulting to calling him a "constipated arsehole", before getting flustered at himself over it all. It'd been adorable. His boyfriend might be ridiculously tall, but he was, as Hanji would describe, an "anger muffin". Impossible to actually be mad at due to the fact he was completely adorable.

At 22 weeks, his boyfriend was a force to be reckoned with. His affectionate side had come back, Levi enjoying every second of it. Eren would have dinner or breakfast ready, and a bath waiting for him. His omega seemed to be prefer baths to showers, and didn't want to bathe alone. It only dissolved into sex half the time... He couldn't keep his hands off his mates stomach, pathetically in love with the swell and the future it meant. He was acting completely foolish, almost unlike himself. His protective instincts were only growing stronger, each time he left work, he forced Eren to lock the door properly behind him. It was the only way he could make through his shifts. That and when Eren was awake, they'd message back and forth all day. His omega choosing to throw himself into working through the books Levi had ordered for him. His drive to learn so great, that Levi had been thinking about asking Eren if he'd like to enrol in some online classes, or at least find a way for his boyfriend to get his high school equivalency. With how determined Eren was, he was sure he could manage it, especially with only 18 weeks being left until the due date of their pup. It all seemed like it was approaching too fast. Like if he blinked, he'd miss it, and he didn't want to miss a single thing in both Eren's and their child's life.

With things finally looking better, Levi was finally able to bring the nursery issue up with Eren. His boyfriend had plenty of ideas, which surprised him. He'd thought Eren spent his time alone at home napping, cleaning or working on his studies. He hadn't even considered the fact that Eren might sneak into the spare room to take measurements, and compile a basic list of what he wanted via screen shots. All of it was perfect... Almost too perfect... yet quite unlike him, he didn't find himself dwelling on all the "what ifs" of the situation. Labour was dangerous. It'd never been a safer time to be having children, yet 830 women died a day due to pregnancy and complications. Males at an even higher risk as their bodies didn't stretch the way a female did. He knew if the fluid situation didn't happen to level out, that Eren would most likely require a c-section, and he knew Eren would automatically blame himself for it all. 

Finally getting two days off in a row, Levi had hit cloud nine. He'd spent the morning having lazy sex and snuggles with Eren. Their bed a complete mess by the time the two of the had crawled out of it. This had been followed by a quick hard fuck with Eren bent over the bathroom counter. Then had come showering with, and carefully cleaning out his blissed out omega. Eren coming with a whimper as he did. He'd wanted nothing more than to curl up with Eren on the sofa, and binge on a bunch of bad movies, but they were going shopping for nursery and baby things. His "suppressed" alpha constantly reminding him of the fact, as it wanted to show how good it was at providing for their child. There was also the fact that Eren wanted his hair cut, after trying to cut it himself in the bathroom, and the fact that nearly nothing of the omega's fitted over his swollen stomach anymore. Personally, Levi didn't give two shits if Eren wanted to walk around shirt free, or just in his bra. His lover's body was beautiful, and his developing breasts were perfect for holding onto when he mounted him from behind. He was lucky Eren felt the same way. He'd succeeded in making Eren come in his pants, by toying with his nipples while making out on the sofa.

Eren's white dress was the only thing that properly covered his bump. Coupled with a pair of yoga pants and one of Levi's hoodies, his omega really didn't want to wear shoes. There was no way he was letting his boyfriend walk around bared foot getting all sorts of nasty germs all over them. His firm attitude led to Eren crying, but allowing Levi to put shoes on him... while leaving Levi feeling like a bit of an arse. Eren had enough problems as it was. His depression wasn't something magically cured by the return of his omega, it'd just helped to take the edge off. They still had plenty to talk about. For instance, the fact Eren thought himself a murderer, but that was barely remembered once they'd started being physical again.

Heading to the closest shopping centre, Eren clung to him adorably... even if it was from anxiety. With his heartburn making breakfast nearly impossible, Levi was determined to do as much as he could for Eren. He'd gotten him to drink some milk, so his stomach wasn't completely empty. Not that it counted as breakfast in his eyes. He'd just have to trust that Eren would let him know when he was hungry. Walking into the department store, Levi snagged a trolley  
"Now. Anything you like, anything at all, you can get"  
"Mmm... I know. I, uh... talked to Marco and Hanji a little"  
"You've been talking to Marco?"  
"I thought I told you that Hanji brought him to see me. He apologised for being a bad friend... he came and saw me again, without Hanji and we talked a little... it's not like how it used to be, but he's... yeah. It's better"  
Levi wasn't sure if he liked Eren hanging around Marco again. Not when Jean was such a fucking arsehole. Jean getting into Eren's head, would be... no. Marco had to prove himself to Eren first, then maybe he would be allowed to visit... sans Jean. He might just tear that fucker's throat out if he had the chance  
"Ok. As long as you're ok with it, then I'll... be ok with it"  
"Don't worry. I'm not rushing to have them over. Don't give me that look. Your expression said it all"  
"I might just kill Jean if I see him"  
Eren swayed, before shaking his head. Fuck. He should have picked his words better. Taking a deep breath, Eren brought himself back under control  
"You can't do that. Marco's pregnant again"  
"Again? Haven't they heard of condoms?"  
"He smelt like it"  
"How old's Mina now?"  
"Uh... I think she was born in... November? No. We went on holiday in November. I can't remember, but like 10ish months? It's halfway through September... She looks so much like Marco"  
"Lucky girl. I wouldn't curse my worst enemy with Jean's looks"  
Eren giggled  
"That's harsh. I want our pup to look like you"  
"I know... but I've seen your baby photos, and I've seen you grow. I would be the luckiest alpha in the world if our pup looked like you"  
Eren blushed   
"Aren't you already the luckiest alpha in the world? My throbbing arse says you are"  
Eren's comment went straight to his dick. It was hard to believe he could still get hard enough how many times he and Eren had indulged in each other's bodies. Clearing his throat, his voice was slightly husky as he replied  
"Listen here, brat. If you keep that up, the nursery is never going to be done"  
22 weeks may be too soon to start preparing the nursery, but it had now been months since he'd suggested it. He wanted to give Eren the chance to change his mind if he wanted, and wanted to give them enough time that they wouldn't be rushing to put everything together. What he'd read online said it was common for omega's to even nest in there when close to their due date. This was their first child. He didn't want to fuck up. That's why he'd chosen to go shopping before cleaning out the room. They could spent today and tomorrow making sure every purchase was just right  
"I'm just saying..."  
"And I'm just saying that I love you"  
"You love me enough to ruin my arse?"  
"And your breasts, and your mouth..."  
Eren playfully punched him on the shoulder   
"It's not my fault everything you do feels... good"  
"I know this pregnancy hasn't been easy, but... you've really opened up over being intimate"  
"I still can't... on my own. But with you, I want it. Only with you"  
"Does it bother you when I touch myself?"  
Eren's blush deepened  
"It... it's hot"  
He hadn't been aiming for a reply, but Eren's mumble was cute  
"I'm just teasing you"  
"You're an arsehole, old man"  
"Yeah. Anyway, baby shopping?"  
"Shopping for our pup. Not quite baby shopping. I think one is going to be hard enough"  
"Alright, brat. Point taken"  
"Good. If you behave, I might be persuaded to give you a treat"  
"I don't know if I can behave"  
"Then no treat for you. Come on, I want to get all the soft stuff first. I want to make sure it's all washed and sorted"  
Eren bopped him on the nose with the tip of his pointer finger. His warm scent rolling over Levi like the fresh rains of a storm, barely a note of anxiety to it. He was so fucking proud of him, even if he was a little shit. Walking a few steps ahead, Eren didn't realise Levi was still rooted to the spot, momentarily stripped of basic functions as rush of love filled his gut with warmth. Why the fuck hadn't he just proposed? 

 

Eren knew exactly what he wanted, that was one of the joys of actually going shopping with him. Though pregnant, he wanted to just get in, get everything they'd settled on, and get out... Then they hit the baby clothes. Getting Eren more maternity clothes had been easy. Soft and comfortable yoga pants and stretch belted jeans, couples with a few long sleeved shirts and bras that converted to nursing bras. Baby clothes sent his omega into while different kind of panic. Eren had picked up a soft fleece onesie and broken down. He wasn't crying, but his scent was definitely troubled and everything he picked up, he placed back  
"Eren, what's wrong?"  
Placing his hand on his stomach, Eren turned to him. His bright eyes filled with pain   
"Do you think I deserve to keep this baby?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"I... I don't know if I deserve this baby anymore... Levi... what do I do?"  
"You tell me what's going on, and we figure this out together"  
"I... my dad... he did something... It was horrible, Levi"  
Reaching out, Levi took Eren by the arm, gently pulling him close   
"You're not your father"  
"He... he took babies from omegas. How many omega's lost their pups because of him... 10 years... hundreds of omegas, Levi. And then he just dies. He dies. He... How do I live with that?"  
Hushing Eren softly, Levi nuzzled his neck  
"You live by loving our pup with everything you have"  
"Why? Why should I get to keep my pup, when they didn't?"  
"Because you weren't the one to take their pups away. That sin. That sin is a stain on your father, not you"  
"The sins of the father are inherited by the son"  
"That's a load of shit. I don't even know my fucking father and I, sure as hell, am not going to start cleaning up his shit. You're not him"  
"But Levi..."  
"No. This pup. This pup is ours. You're allowed to want this and to be happy. What he's done, it's not ok. And I will tell you as many times as you need, you will be an amazing mother. You're allowed to be happy and to love this pup"  
"I feel so guilty. Looking at all this. It's like... they never got to do this with their babies"  
"That's because the world is shit. They treat omega's like shit and walk all over them to make themselves feel better. It's not fair. To them or to you. I love you, and when you're ready to tell me more, I will listen"  
Grisha could go choke on a bag of dicks... or maybe a sack of balls, seeing he obviously didn't have a set. What kind of fucked up shit had the man done? And why the fuck... No. he just had no words for him  
"I don't want to remember, but how do I forget?"  
"I don't know. I love you, ok?"  
"I love you too, Levi. I... think maybe we... I don't know..."  
"We can go home, if you want? Or we can get a few more things. Or we can get the furniture? Whatever you want to do"  
"Can we do furniture? This is just..."  
"You don't have to explain. I understand"  
"I really... I don't even know what I'm saying now"  
"You're saying how much you love me, and how we're going to order way too much food when we get home. You're going to take a bath, and..."  
"How do you do that?"  
"Do what?"  
"Love me, so easily. No matter what I say"  
"It's your arse. I... love your arse. I was born gay, just to be with your arse. I'm not giving that arse up to anyone"  
Eren sighed at him, nuzzling and kissing his hair as Eren's hand found his  
"Why am I bonded to you?"  
"Because you love me"  
"Oh... I forgot about that"  
"Shitty brat. Eren, thank you. For trusting me enough to tell me"  
"It seems like I'm pretty much stuck with you, not matter what I do"  
"You're only just working that out?"  
"I didn't go to school, remember?"  
"As long as it's not my fault that it's taken this long to realise that"  
"No... No. You... You're my strength, Lee. Coming home to you, that's the only thing that kept me going. I love you"  
"I love you, and I think this is getting too mushy for a shopping trip"  
"You're probably right. I never really realised how small baby clothes actually are"  
"It'd be a bit weird if you just gave birth to a full grown adult"  
"Don't go giving him ideas... I'm already scared about the labour"  
"You'll be fine. I'll be with you"  
"Yeah... as long as he doesn't get ideas about coming too soon"  
"Don't go jinxing it"  
"I'm not. You're the one giving him ideas"  
"I can't help it. I never thought I'd be a father. I never even thought I'd find a mate, or have a family. This is all your fault"  
"My fault? I'm pretty sure you said you were born gay to be with my arse"  
"It doesn't sound romantic when you say it"  
"It's not romantic at all. At least, not to anyone butt me"  
"Did you just...?"  
"Maybe. What are you going to do about it?"  
"Just you wait until we get home. I'll be happy to show you just how much I love that arse of yours"  
"Fuck. I'm slick as it is..."  
"All the more reason we should grab what we planned and get home. You've turned me into a horny old man, who can barely keep it in my pants"  
Eren paused as he moved to step towards the shopping trolley   
"Do you... do you really find me that attractive? I... kind of just... feel fat"  
"I found you beautiful before you even fell pregnant, and I can honestly say I find you just as beautiful now"  
"Even though I look like this?"  
"There is nothing wrong with the way you look. And if anyone dares say otherwise, I will bash the ever living shit out of them"  
"Really?"  
"I promise"  
"Then I suppose we should get you home"

 

*  
Their playful banter had helped distract Eren from his guilt. His omega had perked up when they'd moved towards furniture, only to deflate again until Levi started teasing him again. He'd never thought Eren would be subjected to the harsh reality of those who used and abused omegas. Not after Zeke's death. Knowing the cause of Eren's depression made things much more understandable, while the strength of Eren's trust in him was a little terrifying. With his omega rejecting the pup, and his guilt over carrying, the fact Eren hadn't done something extreme like aborting it, only served to weigh heavily on his mind. Eren kept going through the pregnancy because he knew how much he wanted it. That was all Levi could put it down to. His omega who'd so desperately wanted this child, hadn't thought to get rid of it, because he didn't want to hurt him. Sure, now that his omega had evened out, his moods had improved, but it must have been fucking hard for Eren to keep that inside. He'd probably only confided in Krista... They were lucky to have found such an understanding therapist, and one that Eren could vent to.

Returning home from shopping, they headed up to the apartment. The larger items of furniture were being delivered the following day, while the car seat and the majority of the bedding was still in the car. Eren having slowly run out of steam and needing a nap. Lunch leaving his lover seemingly more exhausted than before they'd started eating. Letting Eren in first, his omega made to the sofa before sinking down onto it, automatically going to curl up on it, only to stop before his shoes touched the cushions. Waving his arm at him, Eren groaned   
"I'm coming"  
"My feet are too far away. This wouldn't have happened if you'd let me get away with no shoes"  
"No. You'd be taking a shower if you weren't wearing shoes"  
"So mean. I don't think you understand fat and swollen feet at all"  
"Your feet aren't fat"  
"They feel fat. I feel fat"  
Draping his waving arm over his face, Eren sighed dramatically   
"I'm beached"  
"Hi, beached..."  
He didn't even get to finish his sentence before Eren was throwing a cushion at him   
"Please, Levi. Just... help"  
Closing the apartment door, Levi decided everything down in the car could wait. Placing the bags of Eren's clothes down by the sofa, he squatted down to free his omega of his shoes. Eren moaning the moment his feet were both free  
"Thank you... I have no idea how full term people walk around or wear high heels"  
"I honestly don't either. Do you want to nap here? Or in bed?"  
"Bed. I want cuddles"  
"Cuddles or sex?"  
"Cuddles during sex?"  
Laughing to himself, Levi moved to lift Eren from the sofa  
"Cuddles during sex?"  
"I don't know. Why am I so sleepy?"  
"Because you had a big day"  
"I don't feel like I did"  
"You did, and you did good. You told me when you reached your limit"  
"I feel like my limit isn't good enough"  
"Eren, trust me. You did good"  
"I trust you, but I'm still gonna disagree"  
"I bet if you told Krista, she'd agree"  
"We are literally about to fuck or snuggle. I don't wanna think about anyone else"

Sitting Eren down, Levi helped him out his jacket and dress, then bra. Eren flopped back as if in defeat, lifting his arse to be free from his yoga pants   
"Eren, how would you feel about topping?"  
"Topping what? Like ice cream topping?"  
"Me"  
"Levi. My brain is like... already shut off... I'm sorry. I can't think"  
Stripping Eren down, Levi was far less careful when it came to his own clothes. Slick had soaked his boyfriend pad and underwear, leaving them almost sodden. Something that should have revolted, and once would have. Now it just had him itching to mount his mate. Propping himself up, Eren smiled at him  
"You're so fucking sexy"  
"Says the guy oozing slick"  
"Mmm, but that's your fault. And I notice you left my bra on. Do you love my breasts that much?"  
"You have no idea what I want to do to them"  
"Oh, is that right? Maybe you show me"  
"I thought you were sleepy"  
"There's no way I can sleep after looking at your dick"  
How could Eren possibly be so shy about masturbating, then sprout something like that?  
"Is that so?"  
"It'd just be cruel to make you sleep like that"  
Pushing himself up to sitting, Eren pulled him closer. His dick brushing over his omega's breasts  
"Fuck, brat..."  
"You could take the bra off?"  
"Mmm. I could, but then what would I do with your breasts?"  
"I don't know... but I think I want to"  
"I have an idea, but I want you to know I'll stop if you don't like it, or it feels uncomfortable"  
"I want to try more with you..."  
"Eren. I need to hear you say it"  
It was probably pathetic, but every time they tried something knew, or if Eren didn't initiate it, he still wanted to hear that it was really ok. Eren hadn't had a full blown panic attack from sex since falling pregnant, but he had had a few moments when Levi had needed to step back and let his omega calm back down, even if Eren hadn't noticed them  
"Levi, if it's too uncomfortable, it'll tell you"  
"Thank you"

Freed from his bra, Levi now had a firm hold of Eren's breasts, pushing them together as he massaged them firmly. Moaning, Eren's legs were spread wide as Levi slowly rocked up against his boyfriend. His erection was trapped between the soft warm flesh of Eren's developing chest, with each trust making Eren mew. He hadn't been sure Eren would into this, but the constant stimulation seemed to be driving him wild, as Levi's desire to cum across Eren's face and chest grew. He'd never thought he'd into titty fucking his boyfriend, but it was fucking hot, especially when Eren slid one hand down to start jerking himself off. Building up a constant rhythm, he felt the tell tale feeling, knowing he was going to come all too soon  
"Eren, can I come?"  
"My mouth... I want to taste you"  
"Are you sure?"  
"Please alpha... let me taste you"  
Keeping his hand on Eren's right breast, he used his left to guide himself into Eren's eager mouth. His omega immediately hollowing his cheeks and bobbing his head. Shit. Eren's technique had him weak the knees  
"Eren..."  
Nodding around his erection, Eren's eyes met his. That was it. He was gone. His orgasm hitting hard enough for left knee to give out. Awkwardly half kneeling on the bed, he pulled out Eren's mouth as his mate started to choke, coming down Eren's lips and chest, as his lover's come hit his leg. Panting, Levi's head dropped forward, still coming as he tried to catch his breath. No one but Eren had ever made him come this fucking hard, it was seriously verging on ridiculous and felt like what he imagined a volcano erupting would feel like. For some reason that escaped him, it seemed like he came more now that Eren was pregnant. Almost like he was trying to get him pregnant all over again. Milking the last few drops free, he dropped down onto the bed, next to Eren who looked just as fucked as he was. Looking to his mate, Eren caught his eye before starting to laugh  
"What?"  
"That felt... kind of amazing"  
"You're laughing because it felt good?"  
"And because you have to help me clean up. I think I'm just going to fall asleep like this"  
"Give me a minute. I popped half a knot"  
Rubbing his dick, Eren rolled towards him  
"I'm so not up for kissing it better"  
"Says the guy covered in my come, and groping me"  
"Mmm. I just want to touch you. I want to remember every inch of you"  
"Oh?"  
"Mhmm. Especially these 9 inches"

Leaning in, Eren's lips still held traces of the cinnamon and sugar from the donut he instead on having for lunch. The slow kiss slowly grew more hungry, Eren moaning into his mouth as he release his hold to climb into Levi's lap. Not wanting to break the kiss, Levi pushed himself up, Eren's stomach big enough to make things uncomfortable for him if he hadn't. Breaking the kiss, Eren whined as Levi started to stiffen beneath him. Rolling his hips, Eren started to ride him slowly, one hand on his stomach to keep his balance. With slick pooling in his lap, Levi let out a growl, his dick demanding to be inside their mate instead of just fucking him between his cheeks. Taking hold of Eren's arse, he lifted him enough to line up, the omega so wet and aroused that he could slowly sink into his heat without causing too much pain. It had probably helped that Eren was also still loose from that morning. Topping from the bottom, he held Eren's hips down as he thrust up, placing Eren's pleasure and comfort above his own. With each thrust, more come would dribble from the omega. Having just come, Levi took his time in reducing Eren into a fevered mess. Loving the way he moaned and mewed so sweetly just for him. As Eren's breathing grew more ragged, he started to clench and ripple, his orgasm close, but knowing another orgasm would leave him boneless, Levi lifted Eren, keeping just the tip buried inside as he flipped them over. Spreading his knees wide, his pace grew hard, the sound of squelching slick and wet skin against wet skin as he rode Eren through his orgasm and into his own, coming with a deep and almost primal snarl. Beneath him, Eren's eyelashes fluttered, Levi's heart stopping for a moment. Worried he'd hurt his mate he reached to cup Eren's cheek, before rubbing a soft circle with the pad of his thumb  
"Eren? Hey. Eren, can you hear me?"  
His mate didn't smell pained, nor did he feel pain from their bond. From what he could tell, Eren had passed out as soon as he'd come. He'd expected bonelessness, not outright passing out, though Eren had been exhausted. Climbing onto the bed was awkward, the position he ended up in wasn't exactly the best for collapsing into after sex, but he'd rather not cause any unnecessary discomfort for Eren. Resting his cheek against Eren's swell, he peppered kissed to Eren's stretch mark spotted skin. He knew Eren applied vitamin E cream to each stripe almost religiously, but he loved the marks. He didn't care if Eren's stomach never returned to being perfectly smooth. Pregnancy was changing Eren's body in so may ways, and other than his rank farts, Levi had no problems with it all.

When Levi's knot finally deflated, he pulled from Eren. Given the fact his boyfriend had started to snore, he was pretty sure he hadn't hurt him. Retrieving a warm towel from the bathroom, Titan had appeared in his absence. Sitting on Eren's pillow, he scowled at Levi as he started to clean Eren down, as if blaming him for the current lack of cuddles. Making sure his boyfriend was as come free as he could be, Levi them grabbed a fresh pad and pair of underwear for Eren, getting him redressed and settled on his side of their bed. He'd completely forgotten the sheets were still a mess from that morning, so he'd settled Eren on the top sheet as it'd come through relatively clean, then grabbed a few of Eren's other blankets out the wardrobe to cover him with. Chucking Eren's clothes in the wash, he forced himself to shower. He wanted nothing more than to climb into bed with Eren, but his mind niggled at him, reminding him of the shopping waiting in the car. Eren was soundly asleep, and sorely needed it, giving him plenty of time to head down and retrieve everything.

 

*  
Eren was in a forgiving mood. Actually, he was in the best mood he'd been in since bonding with Levi. Confessing his and his father's sin to his alpha may not have been planned, but it felt like the crushing tightness in his chest had eased. Levi had said it was ok to love his pup and to be happy. That what his father did wasn't his fault. It was completely different hearing it out loud, and from the alpha he loved so deeply. He could have told himself the exact same thing until he was blue in the face and he never would have believed it for himself. Having fallen asleep during sex, he'd woken to Levi cuddles. His alpha reading while playing absentmindedly with his hair. Eren couldn't help the rush of affection he felt every single time he looked to his mate. When he'd realised Levi wasn't going to propose any time soon, saying he was crushed was the understatement of the century, but gradually he settled back down, realising that perhaps Levi was planning something special and needed time to do so. He'd vowed to himself not to say anything, not after subjecting Levi to some of the foulest moods he'd ever experienced. Like seriously, who the fuck just throws a dozen eggs at their partner. It wasn't Levi's fault he didn't remember. His alpha worked his fucking arse so that they could live such a comfortable life. His own inheritance had been delayed due to the ongoing investigation into his father by Floch. Though he may have neglected to mention to Levi that man had called to tell him that. Levi would worry himself sick over it all. His alpha used to claim he was terrible at words, but every single word that came from Levi's lips was with love. Even when he'd had a horrible day at work, and was all broody and scowly, if he accident snapped he'd apologise right away.

With the help of Levi, he'd showered and dressed, before his lover settled him down on the sofa in the living room. Levi so insistent on helping, he'd had to shoo him out so he could go to the toilet. Pregnant people peed a lot... like.... a lot. Equal parts impressed and annoyed, he eyed the organised mess spilling of their living area. While he'd been sleeping, Levi had moved all the new things for the pup to his room, and dragged everything out the spare room alone. With the smell of vinegar in the air, he could tell his alpha would have scrubbed the spare room from top to bottom already. Levi had once explained that vinegar kills mould, while bleach only serves to bleach it. Maybe it was the expectant mum in him, but the idea of the nursery stinking of bleach made his stomach roll. He wanted to be able to work in there, without worrying about the smell sending him scrambling for the toilet. Passing him his phone, Levi ruffed his hair on his way pass to the kitchen. Opening his Facebook up, he found himself doing something he never thought he would. First unblocking Armin, then adding him and the woman called Mikasa on his friends list. His father had told him how close they'd been, and with Levi's words of how he wasn't his father's sin or whatever it was, echoing in his mind. He sent them both friend requests, before placing his phone down and snatching up the TV remote. He'd expected to maybe feel some slight nerves, but he was just too happy to.

When Levi joined him on the sofa, Eren sank into his warmth. He might be a horny shit, but cuddles felt even better. His alpha scent of warm free tea with the lingering touches of his body was had his omega internally purring. Starting to nibble at the sandwich Levi had made, his stomach rolled before rumbling   
"I'm not surprised you're staving"  
"I honestly feel like I haven't eaten in years"  
"That's because yesterday all you had was a glass of milk and lunch"  
"Yesterday?"  
"It's about 2 am. You slept for a solid 12 hours"  
"I don't feel like I have. Why didn't you wake me?"  
"Because making a baby takes a lot of energy. You needed the rest, especially when you didn't seem to have any nightmares"  
"I can't remember dreaming... I can't believe I fell asleep during sex"  
"You managed to scare the fuck out of me. I had a feeling you'd be tired, not that you'd pass out and start snoring"  
Eren's face dusted red with embarrassment, whining as it did. Levi was supposed to be nice to him!  
"Don't worry. I'm not mad"  
"I am. I didn't get my after sex cuddles"  
"No, but you're having cuddles now. You're not too sore, are you?"  
"No... my hips are, and my back, and feet, and my shoulders, and I feel bloated... I think I just want cuddles instead of sex"  
"I was thinking we could sort the boxes?"  
The things Levi decided to keep were going to be stored at Hanji's house, seeing she owned her own home, and had the space in her garage for them. Erwin had offered to help, but Levi had shot him down  
"Mmm. Ok. Let me sit up, and where's Titan?"  
"He was in your room. He wasn't happy I stripped our bed down"  
"Titan!"  
"You're supposed to be eating"  
"I'm still eating. I'm just worried about my fur baby"  
There was the soft but solid thud of Titan's paws as he came running, leaping up to settle on the sofa, then immediately trying to get to Eren's sandwich  
"You should have left him sleeping"  
"But then I couldn't have shared with him"  
"You're not sharing with him"  
Titan meowed at him, one large paw coming up to hover just short of Eren's plate. His big eyes stared up at him, silently begging  
"Leeevi. How am I supposed to say no now?"  
"I'll give him a tin of cat food. Just finish your sandwich"

Titan was a cat who's love was easy to buy. The moment Levi cracked the top of the tin of cat food, the tom was racing off to the kitchen. Finishing his sandwich, Eren placed the plate down with a pout. He wanted Titan cuddles, and Levi cuddles. Now his boyfriend was hefting a box up onto the coffee table and Titan was too busy eating   
"I think this box is mostly clothes"  
He knew he said he'd be there for Levi as he did this, but now he was getting nervous. He was terrible at comforting Levi and making him feel better. He never knew if he was saying the right things or making it all a hundred times worse. Tipping the box onto its side, Levi joined him back on the sofa. Pulling off the tap over the top as it did and sending a whole bunch of things cascading onto the floor  
"Yeah... clothes..."  
All of Isabel and Farlan's clothes seemed to have been second hand. Isabel had tried to patch them the best she could. Digging to the bottom, Levi wrinkled his nose in clear disgust  
"There's nothing worth saving in here"  
"Are you sure?"  
"Don't get too close, the bottom layers are mouldy"  
"Can't you just wash them?"  
"Mould stains. Even if I did, it wouldn't be worth it. I should have gone through these sooner"  
His boyfriend sounded bitter, Eren whining softly as he placed his hand on his arm  
"I'm sorry"  
"No. No, it's my fault. I don't even know how the mould got in. Something must have been wet. It's my fault"  
"It's not your fault..."  
Levi huffed, brushing him off as he rose and moved the box next to the door. 

The next four boxes were mostly clothes, but they were used to wrap more interesting things. Small photo frames, tea cups, plates, glass figures and chipped Christmas ornaments were carefully unwrapped. Eren couldn't help himself as he collected each photo frame carefully. Levi sighing heavily as he leaned over to explain where they were in each of them. Seeing Isabel's bright smile and Farlan's faked scowl, his heart ached. Levi looked so young and happy with them. Like... genuinely happy. The smile on his lips completely unguarded, not a single wrinkle of grey hair to be seen... He knew his boyfriend was drop dead sexy, but fuck... He fell in love with him all over again, and desperately wished there'd been a way to meet Levi back then. The frames were carefully put aside. The mould had gotten in between the photo and glass in some of them, but apparently there was a way to get them restored. Levi wanted to bin the ornaments and figured, but Eren wasn't having it. Carefully saving them for storage at Hanji's, and the three badly hand painted baubles with Levi's, Isabel's and Farlan's name on them. They were definitely going on the tree this year. It The way Levi joked about how much Isabel loved the "shitty things" was all he needed to know. Levi wasn't quite ready to get rid of them, even if he said so. It didn't matter to him if once they were in storage never they saw them again, as long as they were safe for a day when Levi might want to. 

The box that really broke Levi was Isabel's books. Like everything else, it may have been second hand, but her books. They were something special. Crammed full of notes and slips of paper, the woman's passion clear. Levi's scent turned troubled, emotional pain infecting him through their bond  
"Levi"  
The book in Levi's hands started to shake due to his alpha starting to tremble  
"I bought her this book. Actually, I stole it for her. She'd worked so hard to save for it, but Farlan needed a fucking doctor and medication... Before you give me that look, we were back in high school. This was her first new book on birds. She'd stared at it for hours... and it wasn't like I didn't have the money. You do what you need to, you know. But they took one look at me and refused to serve me. I had the fucking money in my hand, but... they weren't having it. With Farlan being sick, it was the last straw. I waited until the clerk was busy, then I bolted. It was fucking worth it though. She was so happy. She read it over and over... Even at college, with all the new big and better books she could use, she still carried this one. Farlan would joke she loved her book more than him"  
Levi let out a shaky breath, running his fingers through his hair   
"Fuck. Sorry. I need a drink"  
"I'll get you one..."  
They still had a couple of boxes left to go through... but with how distressed Levi seemed to be, he wanted to do everything he could to calm his alpha and be there for him  
"No. It's ok. You stay here"  
Patting him on the knee, Levi took the book with him. The alpha first disappearing into their bedroom, then to the kitchen.

Sitting back on the sofa, Levi had apparently drained his drink in the kitchen. His alpha looking at the neat pile of books with pained eyes. Climbing into Levi's lap, he wrapped his arms around his alpha. Nuzzling into his hair, in the hope of providing comfort  
"Eren... just... not now"  
Pushing him off, Eren was confused. He was only trying to make Levi feel better. He wasn't kissing him, or trying anything sexual. He simply wanted to comfort Levi. His omega was just as confused. Their mate was sad. He didn't like his mate being sad  
"I just wanted to hug you"  
"I think I want to finish this alone. Why don't you go to bed?"  
He wasn't tired... and he thought Levi wanted to do this together? Besides, barely talked about Farlan... he wanted to hear more about him  
"I don't mind..."  
"Sorry, Eren. I want to do this alone"  
"I..."  
"Go to bed..."  
He was trying to tell Levi he loved him, and if he changed his mind to just let him know... and now he being sent to bed like a kid. He knew it wasn't easy for Levi to talk to about Isabel and Farlan, but he'd opened up to him about his father... and about Zeke, and his mum. So why didn't Levi want to tell him anything? Didn't his alpha trust him?

Eren didn't sleep well that night. He'd returned to their room, only to find he needed to pee. He didn't want to upset Levi by walking around the apartment, so tried to sleep it off. It didn't work. Creeping from their bedroom to the bathroom, he was just as "ninja" as he crept back. The bottle of scotch had made it from the kitchen to the coffee table, while Levi was patting Titan. The cat purring with his usual rumble. So Levi didn't mind Titan making a fuss over him... as long as it wasn't his pregnant mate. Feeling pathetically jealous of Titan, Eren returned to their bed. Levi hadn't even remade it... getting fresh sheets would mean leaving the room again, and he didn't want to do that. All he could do was grab one of his blankets from Levi's wardrobe and make sure he was completely covered by it. The cold plastic of the mattress protector sticking uncomfortable to his skin when he slipped his hand under his pillowcase free pillow.. which was covered with a gross feeling fabric protector. He was cold and uncomfortable, the pup spinning flips from the feel of it. Closing his eyes, it was hard not to feel like he didn't even belong in their apartment. 

Still just as cold as when he'd gone to bed, Eren crept out when things went silent. He'd managed to doze off at some point, waking up, Levi had been swearing. He'd been tempted to go help him, but several loud thuds followed, then some of the more colourful language he'd ever heard. Scared by his mate, he'd sunk from their bed to the floor, curling up in the corner of the room as he'd tried to hide under his blanket. Emerging to find the living room cleaned, Levi was passed out on the sofa with Titan on his chest. The bottle of scotch was empty, the lone item left out from the night before. Even the boxes to go down to the dumpsters were gone. Hurt over the fact Levi hadn't even bothered coming to bed, he'd been tempted to leave him sleeping without blanket. The apartment was fucking freezing, his toes growing numb... Fuck. He couldn't just leave Levi like this. Retrieving the blanket he'd used, he draped it over Levi and Titan, Titan giving him a glare, but not bothering to move. If Levi could go ahead and do things for the nursery without him, that must mean it's ok for him to do the same? After all, the nursery was the whole reason Levi was home. It sure as hell wasn't to spend time with him... No. No. He wasn't going to do this. Levi hadn't really done anything wrong. He'd just needed space to process everything. It wasn't like his alpha didn't give him all the space he needed... and then some...

Dragging all the shopping from his room and into the nursery, that was the end of his will power. He didn't want to do any of this alone. He couldn't do anything anyway, they didn't have the furniture yet. He didn't know what to do. He didn't want to go back to Levi's room and sleeping alone held no appeal... Things without Levi were boring... Wandering back to Levi, Titan had abandoned him. Levi had turned to his side, his leg hanging off the side of the sofa in a way that looked highly uncomfortable. His stomach might be slightly bigger than the photos on google, but he was sure he could lift Levi. He didn't want to leave him on the sofa. Dragging the coffee table back enough to make space, Levi was too out of it to know. His alpha even stank of scotch... lifting Levi, his alpha groaned at him  
"Let me sleep"  
"Shut up, or I'll drop you"  
Scowling up at him, he'd woken Levi... but he'd come too far to back out. He'd managed to even get him completely off the sofa... Fuck... Levi better appreciate this  
"Just put me down"  
"Not an option right now. You're going to bed you drunk"  
"Eren..."  
"Shut up. I'm mad at you. You didn't even make the bed. Do you know fucking cold it is?"  
"You're freezing"  
"And you're doing that things where you're talking and I don't want you to"  
Levi let a giggle. An actual fucking giggle. He wished he'd recorded, because there was no way anyone ever believe he had. Dumping him down on his bed, his boyfriend flipped him off before crawling under the covers and patting the space beside him  
"Get down here brat..."  
Climbing under the covers, Levi rolled and clung to him. Pulling him flush and nuzzling into his nape  
"Mmm. 'm sorry. I'm a jerk"  
"You are. You left me freezing"  
"Fuck..."  
Placing his cold hand on Eren's stomach, Eren gasped as he tried to escape, Levi's hold making it impossible   
"You arsehole"  
"Don't leave me. I don't want to be alone, again"  
The playfullyness of Levi's drunken state was gone, his alpha sounding so fucking lonely that Eren forgot he'd been trying to escape  
"I'm not leaving you"  
"Don't want to lose you, brat..."  
"You won't. I love you"  
Levi huffed, Eren copping a blast of scotch breath. He'd thought his alpha was going to say something else... only, Levi started to purr instead. Eren had no idea that alpha's could even purr. Fuck. He needed his phone. Not only a giggle but a purr... he needed Levi to get drunk more often.


	52. Chapter 52

Standing in the room that was to be the nursery, Eren had his hands on his hips and a frown on his face. Levi had thought Eren would be happy that the nursery furniture had been delivered. They'd chosen solid wood items that would last, and that could be properly mounted to the nursery walls to prevent the furniture from tipping over. Owning his apartment, they could pretty much do anything they wanted to the space, so he didn't understand why Eren was hesitating in spitting out what he wanted to do. Having spent the last 10 minutes leaning against the doorframe, Levi's patience was wearing thin. If something was wrong, why couldn't Eren say so? Clearing his throat, Levi straightened himself up   
"What's wrong?"  
"Huh?"  
Turning to face him, Eren rubbed his stomach   
"You don't look happy"  
"Oh... no. It's not that. It's fine"  
"Eren, whatever it is, it's not fine. Tell me what's wrong"  
"It's stupid"  
"Stop making me repeat myself. What's wrong?"  
Eren flinched, the look passing over his face in one moment, and gone the next. Apparently he'd been a bit of an arsehole to Eren. He'd sent him to be when their bed wasn't even made. The lingering smell of distress hadn't done his aching head any favours  
"I. Uh... I was thinking we should have got a rug for the floor"  
"A rug?"  
"Yeah... it's stupid, but I was thinking how cold the apartment gets... and it'd be easier to out to put it down before setting up the furniture"  
"It's not stupid. Do you have anything in mind?"  
"Something bright?... and maybe some art for the walls? This room doesn't have a window... and I don't know"  
The lack of a window was another reason the room was perfect for the nursery. They didn't need to worry about the pup opening it once they got older. It was already on his list to install another bolt on the balcony door, as well as the windows in his and Eren's rooms  
"Look. We need to go to the hardware store anyway, why don't we just go now?"  
"It's already 5pm. Is anything going to be open?"  
"They're open until 7. Or at least the one Erwin and I usually go to. I'll grab your shoes and a jacket. It's still raining outside"  
Winter hadn't started, yet the weather hadn't got the memo. After sleeping most of the day away, he'd woken to sound of rain against the window, and the bed devoid of Eren's warmth. His omega in the bathroom vomiting. Rubbing his stomach, Eren nodded slowly  
"Alright. I don't know if I'll be able to stay on my feet long. My back's sore from kneeling on the bathroom floor"  
"We could look online?"  
"No... I want to see what they have in store first. I've got an idea of what I want, but... I'd rather just get it now"  
"Let me know if the pain gets worse or spreads"  
"Levi, I'm pregnant. Something always hurts. It'll be ok"  
"I don't want you forcing yourself"  
"I'm not forcing myself. You're the one who... No. Never mind. Let's just go"  
He was what? Had he done something else? Had he hurt Eren? Grumbling to himself, Eren walked over to him, pushing him lightly   
"Go grab my shoes, already"

Arriving at the hardware store, the rain was still pouring down. He didn't envy whoever was on shift at the moment. People always seemed to think that they were invincible. That speeding in the rain wouldn't result in a crash. Shitty idiots. Working in the rain fucking sucked. Keeping an arm around Eren, Levi found himself holding his breath until they made it inside the store. The concrete entrance had been slippery as fuck, Levi barely able to keep his balance, and Eren up. Walking in, his boots squeaked annoyingly. Looking to Eren, he found his mate's attention was on the wall of paint samples right in front of them. Leading him over, Eren didn't even seem to remember Levi was by his side  
"Do you want to paint the nursery?"  
Jumping, Eren stuttered  
"N-no. I mean... n-not unless you want to, too?"  
"Maybe not the whole thing, but sure. Do you have any ideas?"  
Eren shook his head  
"I'm still in shock. There's so many colours"  
Levi smiled, kissing Eren on the cheek  
"Do you want to stay here while I go grab the bolts? I know you said you didn't really want to walk around"  
"You said we'd look at rugs"  
"I didn't mean it like that. I thought I'd just go grab the bolts and come back, so you'd have time to pick a few colours out, then we can make the decision together"  
"I'm messing with you. You can go find the bolts and that. We both know I have no idea about those things. I want to look at colours... and maybe see if they've got stencils or something like that"  
"I won't be too long. I've got my phone"  
"Levi. I am literally just standing here. I'm fat, and cranky. I don't think I'm going to get into any trouble"  
"No. You're pregnant and beautiful"  
"See if you can find a brain back there, because you're deluding yourself"  
Even if it was mid-September, with Eren was due in January. His mate was glowing with his swollen stomach and curvy figure. Eren was oblivious to the lascivious stares cast his way, and would probably laugh if Levi was to point them out... but Levi saw each and every single one. Nuzzling into Eren's shoulder, he let his scent flow, warning every single fucker that Eren was his... even if his was muted, he hoped enough was rub off on his mate  
"Really? You worry too much. I'm just looking at paint samples"  
"I know, but you're mine and I'm not sharing you"  
Eren pushed him playfully   
"Go. Go be all alpha male. Embrace your need for power tools"  
Bumping him back with his hip, Levi snorted   
"I'll power your tool"  
"Shut up. You're already getting nailed. Spare a thought for me, I can't even get hammered"  
"No. But like that rug we're getting, you're getting laid tonight"  
"Ugh. Really?"  
"You're a shit. I'll be right back"  
"Then go already"

Finding the right sets for securing furniture took longer than he'd thought it would. Eren hadn't messaged, so he figured that he was just imagining the time passing much faster than it had. Returning to the paint section, the alpha let out a snarl. Standing there, Eren had half a dozen samples in his hand, while two tall alphas stood there, clearly trying to intimidate him. Striding towards them, one of the alphas reached out, daring to touch Eren's stomach. Levi saw red, but that was nothing compared to Eren. Letting out a snarl of his own, Eren first stomped down on the alpha's foot, then followed through with an elbow to the nose. Roaring in pain, the alpha jerked back, his friend lunging for Eren. Levi was on him before he could lay a finger on his mate. Pulling Eren up to him, he grabbed the wrist of the alpha, twisting the man's arm until he yelped with pain  
"Eren, are you ok?"  
"Mmm... these two pieces of shit thought it was ok to get up in my face and tell me how horny and desperate I must be, to be shopping alone in my condition"  
"Shut the fuck you, bitch up! Bitches should be kept on a fucking lead! And this ones a fucking muzzle"  
Levi and Eren both snarled, Eren taking it further. While Levi was trying not to explode and bash the ever living fuck out of them. No one. No one talked his mate like this...   
"This bitch, broke your fucking nose and I will be more than happy to break your balls, if you don't back the fuck off"

The commotion they'd made, had finally attracted one of the stores employees. Pushing through the small crowd of onlookers, the alpha puffed his chest out. But with a name like "Chad" it was impossible to take him seriously  
"What seems to be the problem here?"  
Eren tried to push past him, Levi now having to protect the two alphas from his angered mate... It'd been a long time since Eren had lost his shit like this. Not including his temper tantrums as his omega came back  
"These shit stains seemed to think that it's ok to assault a pregnant omega!"  
"Us! You're the one..."  
"I'm the one who what? I was standing here, picking fucking paint samples!"  
Eren's hand went to his stomach, rubbing at it with a groan  
"Eren?!"  
"I'm ok. I'm just fucking pissed!"  
"Sir, if you'd like to calm down"  
"Me! You're telling me to calm down?!"  
Chad took half a step back, Levi didn't blame him. Eren was radiating raw anger. Without suppressants in his system, his scent was flooding the area. A distress, and pissed, omega. His instincts were on edge, as were probably ever other alpha in the area  
"Keep your fucking mutt on a chain. You should lock him the fuck up. Fucking freak"  
Levi reacted before he even realised it, throwing a blow at the bleeding alpha who insisted on running his fucking mouth. Hitting him squarely in the jaw and dropping him like the sack of shit he was. Beside him, Eren was starting to shake. He wasn't sure if it was the comments on being chained up, or the violence and blood. Wrapping his arms around him, he crooned softly  
"Are you ok?"  
"I think I just fell for you a little harder"  
Seriously?! He was fucking panicking internally   
"Fuck, brat. I was fucking worried. Especially when I saw them harassing you, but you breaking his nose, was hot as hell. Are you sure you ok?"  
"The pups not happy, and I'm not fucking happy"  
"I know. Let's get you home"  
"I am not going until I get the paint I wanted and a rug for the nursery"  
Levi winced. Eren was still pissed, and hell have no fury like a pissed pregnant omega. But fuck. It was sexy as hell. He loved Eren's fire, and wanted nothing to more than to drag him home and show him much his temper turned him on.

"Excuse me, sirs. I'm going to have to ask you to stay put as the police have been called"  
Fucking Chad. Ruining his fucking moment with Eren. Whining softly, Eren continued to rub at his stomach  
"Are you sure you're ok? He didn't hurt you, did he?"  
"I'm fine. Stop asking or I'm going to punch you"  
"Ok. But..."  
Eren raised his hand, curling it into a fist   
"Alright. But tell me if..."  
Punching Levi lightly, Levi shook his head  
"Message received. Do you want to sit?"  
"No. I want to finish shopping"  
"I don't think that's going to happen right now"  
"How the fuck is that fair? They started it..."  
Both alphas were sitting on the floor. Someone had brought some kind of cloth for the bleeding alpha to hold against his nose, while his chicken shit mate eyed then in anger  
"I know..."  
"This is bullshit..."  
"I know"

Eren's anger slowly turned to anxiety as they were forced to wait for the police. One of the other staff had brought over a chair, which the bleeding alpha seemed to think was for him. Retrieving it before the man could sit, Levi sat and pulled Eren down into his lap. His hand moving to Eren's up shirt to rest on his mate's belly. Splaying his fingers, his eyes widened as the small feeling beneath his hand. Despite Eren constantly "complaining" about how active their pup was, this was his first time actually feeling it. He couldn't describe the elation the small movement brought  
"Do you feel it?"  
"Y-yeah..."  
There was another small kick, then nothing. He was disappointed not to feel anything else as the moments passed   
"I think he's turning flips again... How much longer do we have to wait?"  
"I don't know... they probably called for an ambulance too"  
"Do you know who's on shift?"  
"No idea. Are you alright like this?"  
"My back hurts like a bitch. But I don't want to move. Everyone's still staring"  
Resting his head on his shoulder, Eren hid his face  
"They're staring at those two pieces of shit"  
"They're probably staring at the psychotic omega"  
"You're not psychotic"  
"I just broke a guy's nose"  
"He had it coming"  
"You're not supposed to encourage me"  
"I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself"  
"I attacked a total stranger"  
"Who touched you. Only a fucking moron would risk picking a fight with a pregnant omega"  
"I feel... I just... Why? Why the fuck did he have to do that? I wasn't even doing anything wrong"  
"I know. I'm sorry I left you"  
"You shouldn't have to be sorry. I should be allowed to walk alone and shop alone if I want to..."  
"Yeah... but I'm still proud of you"  
"I was stupid. The pup could have been hurt"  
"They didn't look like they were going to leave you alone. You didn't do anything wrong"  
"Why do alphas have to be like this? Why can't they be more like you?"  
"I don't think anyone in the world would like to be more like me"  
"I would. You're so strong and smart. Sometimes it's hard to believe you could love me"  
"You make that easy... Hey, we're in luck"

Walking into the hardware store, Eld and Gunther both caught sight of them  
"Everything ok, Levi?"  
"Yeah. These two tried scare Eren and learned the hard way that he wasn't having it"  
Gunther went to work on the bleeding alpha, the man's friend cursing the fuck out of Eren, not knowing he was only making things worse for himself. Continuing over to them, Eld squatted down  
"Everything alright, Eren?"  
"Yeah. I think I broke his nose"  
"I mean with you. Any pain?"  
"He's been rubbing his stomach..."  
"It's fine, Levi"  
Levi glared at Eld, Eld laughing  
"Sorry, Eren. I value my life and Levi would kill me if I didn't give you a quick check over"  
"Levi worries too much"  
"I haven't had the chance to congratulate you in person. How far along are you?"  
"23 weeks... I'm fine"  
"I'm just going to check your blood pressure... So, what brings you guys here?"  
Eld succeeded in distracting Eren   
"We were getting stuff for the nursery. Screws to mount the furniture and I wanted to look at paint"  
Levi tugged Eren's jacket down enough to expose his arm. The thick fabric too bulky for a reading from the blood pressure cuff. Eld smoothly slipping it around Eren's arm  
"Really? Find any nice colours?"  
"I found this nice orange and this bluey green that reminds me of Paradis Beach and don't think I don't know you're distracting me"  
Eld laughed   
"Oops. You've caught onto my plan already. Any pain in your lower abdomen?"  
"The pups pretty active. I don't think they're happy that I was so angry"  
Tilting the screen so Levi could see, Levi wasn't happy with how high Eren's blood pressure was. Even with his anger and anxiety, it wasn't great  
"Your blood pressure is a little high. Any dizziness?"  
"No"  
Eren's answer was too quick   
"Eren"  
"Fine. But I was angry and sore from standing. You try carrying a human around. Things hurt"  
"Eld, I'm ready to move this guy. How's Eren?"  
"Just about to test his blood sugar levels. Go ahead and take him out"  
"Will do. Hey Eren, congratulations. And congratulations on bonding with Levi. I never thought I'd see the day someone tamed him"  
"I wouldn't say he's tamed. Some days he's not even house trained"  
Gunther froze for a moment, before laughing way too hard  
"He's perfect for you. Make sure he treats you good"  
"I treat him just fine. Right, brat?"  
"Yeah. I suppose so"  
Walking the two alphas out, there sirens beyond the glass doors. Hopefully that meant the police had already shown up. No one would fault an alpha for protecting their mate, but they might not be so lenient towards an omega protecting his pup. Jumping slightly, Eren whined as Eld pricked his finger  
"Little sting"  
"Aren't you supposed to say that first?"  
"Probably. Look at that. Your blood sugar levels are perfect. If there's nothing else, I'd say take him home and make sure he rests"  
"That's what intend to do. Thanks, Eld"  
"You're welcome. Next time we meet, hopefully it'll be at one of Hanji's barbecues"  
Eren mumbled his thanks, while Eld packed his kit up. His boyfriend was resting the moment they got home. Eren really didn't need any more stress in his life. Waving them goodbye, Eld headed off to find Gunther.

Kept waiting, the crowd finally dissipated. Probably because the action was all over. Chad was off somewhere, while Levi was keeping Eren away from the shitty pigs of alphas. It was another good 5 minutes before the two officers finally sought them out for questioning. He'd seen them around, but didn't know them by name. Forced to hold his tongue as Eren explained everything, they noted it down... then made Eren repeat himself. He knew it was their job, but fuck... couldn't they have gone easier on him? Eren was fucking pregnant, and they were looking at him like he really had asked to be harassed. The only comfort from the situation was the knowledge that Eld and Gunther, while remaining professional, would be less than gentle with their treatment of the two men now in their care. Taking his statement. They were finally allowed to leave. The store now in the process of closing. Pissed by the treatment of him and his omega, Levi retrieved the things he'd grabbed and dropped before, forcing the cashier at the one open checkout to serve them. The poor kid looked ready to piss himself.

Leaning Eren back out through the rain, he managed to get his mate inside the SUV, with no dramas. By the time he rounded the car and climbed in on the other side, Eren had freed himself of both his jacket and shoes, while his shirt had been hiked up and his pants pulled down to expose his swell. Gently running his fingers across his stretched flesh, Eren was oblivious to what his actions were doing to him. He couldn't help but be turned on by the sight   
"You're staring"  
"I can't help it. You're the one with your stomach exposed"  
"It... I was thinking about you. I slicked so fucking hard when you saved me"  
A growl bubbled up. The little shit knew exactly what he was doing to him  
"Is that so?"  
"Mhmm... it was so fucking hot. It would have been hotter if I wasn't so angry"  
Forcing himself to keep it together, Levi dumped the bag of bolts and fastenings into the back, before pulling his seatbelt on and starting the car. Letting out a huff, Eren pulled his own belt on  
"I can't believe he touched my stomach"  
"Unless you want me jumping you, you should probably calm down"  
"I can't help it. You going alpha male on my behalf... it makes me fucking horny"  
"Everything makes you horny"  
"You're not wrong there. I had to hide my erection with your jacket"  
They definitely weren't going to make it home like this. Eren's pheromones were filling the car, his own responding as his jeans grew too tight. Sliding his hands across his stomach, Eren mewed as his left hand slid up to his right breast. Licking his lips, Levi tried to reason with his omega, but barely choked Eren's name out  
"Eren..."  
"I can't help it... I can't get you out of my head. I was so fucking scared, then you appeared... I kept telling them no. I can still smell them..."  
Right. He needed to find somewhere to park. He couldn't drive like this. Not when he was painfully aroused and angry as fuck. The only scent that should be on Eren, was his.

Levi wasn't even sure where he ended up parking. Outside the car, the rain was coming down in a torrential downpour. Continuing to drive home would have dangerous anyway. Turning the car off, he'd barely undone his bent when Eren climbed into his lap, Levi forced to drop the seat so his pregnant mate could fit. Capturing his lips in a hungry kiss, there wasn't time for gentle and careful. It was like Eren's 20th all over again, except this time, Eren knew exactly what he wanted and he was bonded to the love of his life. Fumbling each other's pants undone and down, Eren mounted him without prep, the omega half moaning and half whimpering as he pushed himself down  
"Shit, brat... slow down"  
"Don't want to slow down. You feel so good"  
"You're going to hurt yourself"  
"I don't care. I want you. My alpha"  
Placing his hands on Levi's chest, Eren rolled his hips. His mew sharpening at end in what Levi took to mean pain. Taking Eren's by the hips, he held him high enough that he space to thrust  
"Let me"  
"I want you... no other alpha"  
"No other alpha is ever going to touch you. Not like this. This is mine, alone. You're mine"  
"All yours alpha. My big... brave alpha"  
"You're the brave one. Watching you stand up for yourself was sexy as hell"  
Placing both hands on his stomach, Eren let him support him completely as Levi fucked him, determined to engrain his scent into Eren's very being. Already aroused, his boyfriend's dick oozed precum. For an omega, Eren was well hung. He only about an inch or so shorter, and slimmer, but definitely big for an omega. Levi knew he was on the large size, and as his knot formed and his length thickened, he also knew he swelled up to a full 11 inches. The fact Eren took him completely was hot as hell, even when in rut and he was likely to nearly split his lover's arse. He didn't care that they'd only spent a very limited time together during Eren's heat, Eren had screamed for more, despite being fucked to point his arse was full and he was unable to walk  
"Levi... Levi..."  
Sliding his hands up to his breasts, Eren's head lolled back as he worked his nipples  
"It's ok... let it go"  
Coming with strangled cry, Eren clenched hard around him, Levi barely able to bury his knot completely before coming himself. Riding out the wave of pleasure, he was barely able to pulled Eren down for a kiss, thanks to his mate's stomach. The position too awkward for Eren to hold, and causing Levi's knot to catch and tug, earning him a whimper. Moving hands to Eren's stomach. They both stayed like that until their breathing returned to normal  
"Eren, you ok?"  
"Yeah... fuck... I want to kiss you"  
"Me too... give me your hands"  
Taking his hands, Eren interlaced their fingers. Letting out a sigh as he did   
"Brat?"  
"I have to pee"  
"When my knot goes down, I'll drive us home"  
"You have to stop coming first"  
"Yeah. There's that too... Fuck..."  
"My hormones are out of control"  
"No. No. You're fine"  
"I got horny over you saving me"  
"It's a compliment. It's nice to know you find me so attractive"  
"I find you attractive all of time. I honestly had no idea what to do, but then they touched my stomach. The moment he touched me, I felt violated. I wanted to kill him. Then... his friend..."  
Eren trailed off and shook his head   
"I'm sorry I wasn't there"  
"It's ok. You're here now and I can't smell anything but you"  
"Good. How's the pup?"  
"Moving. He's ok. I should have known better than to get so angry"  
"You know, I love your fire. The look you get when you stand up for yourself and others. I'm so fucking proud of you"  
"Can you be proud and stop moving?"  
"I need to clean you up... hold on"  
Eren gasped as he moved  
"Levi! Stop"  
"What? Are you ok?"  
"Just don't move"  
"You're covered in cum"  
They both were. The cum trapped between their stomachs was starting to cool and growing dry. Growling at him, Levi frowned in response. His sated alpha angered at the sound   
"Levi. I fucking refuse to wet myself. So stop moving"  
Oooooh...  
"I could..."  
"This is embarrassing enough, ok"  
"I've seen you wet yourself before"  
Eren looked mortified. Tears welling in his eyes. Smooth. He wanted to hit himself for his own idiocy  
"What I mean is..."  
"Just shut up"  
"I'm saying..."  
"The wrong things right now. You made me go all weak at the knees and now you're making fun of me"  
"I'm not making fun of you. I'm saying that I understand"  
"I don't want you to understand"  
Eren started to cry. Levi felt like a dick for mentioning anything. What he meant was while he'd prefer Eren didn't wet himself, he wasn't going to love him any less if his knotting him resulted in an accident. He was so fucking in love with Eren, he could never be mad for a small accident  
"I'm sorry. I'm trying to say I love you"  
"I love you, too. But can we not talk about it"  
"I didn't mean to push you. I know it's awkward, but can you turn at all?"  
"What? Why?"  
"I was thinking that if I could open the door..."  
"Shut up!"  
Yelling at him, Eren ended in a whine. Levi started praying his knot went down sooner rather than later.

The moment his knot deflated ever so slightly, Eren bolted out the car with amazing agility. Flooded by cold wind, Levi scrambled for the wiped in glove box, rushing to clean himself down in order to cover himself back up. A few moments later, a very wet Eren climbed in on the passenger side. Handing him a couple of wet wipes, his boyfriend went about cleaning himself up  
"Are you ok?"  
"We don't talk about this ever again"  
"Eren, it's not that bad"  
"I don't want to talk about it"  
"You didn't..."  
"Please, Levi. It's too fucking much right now. I know you're trying to tell me it's ok and you love me, but it's too much. It was embarrassing enough being angry, then stared at, then horny over you beating up the fucktard of an alpha. It's just. Too much. I don't want to talk about it"  
"Ok... I love you"  
"I love you, too. Can we please go home?"

Eren perked back up as they arrived home. The omega sighing and shaking his head as he climbed out the car  
"What is this shit? I have to fucking pee again"  
"That's what happens when you're pregnant"  
"How do I unsubscribe? And how do I get your son to stop bashing my bladder?"  
He had the feeling that the near accident episode wasn't about to become a fun anecdote for the future, but at least Eren could kind of laugh about it now  
"I don't think it works that way"  
Retrieving the shopping off the back seat, Levi moved to join Eren. His boyfriend reduced to shuffling towards the elevator. Eren had a tender back before they'd fucked, he couldn't imagine his omega was too happy. Fuck. Fuck. He'd forgotten about Eren's sky high blood pressure... fuck  
"Do you want me to carry you?"  
"Yes. But I think it's going to make it worse. Can I have hot bath when we get back upstairs?"  
"Sure. I'll get those salts you like for too"  
Eren leaned over to kiss him on the cheek  
"I'm sorry I lost my temper before. And I'm sorry I lost in it the store"  
"You don't need to apologise"  
"I do. I hate being mad or yelling at you. You're my mate, and you're so good to me. I feel like a douche every time I do"  
"All couples fight"  
"I don't want to fight. I don't want to be mad. I'm so over being mad. Mad at dad. Mad at Zeke. Mad at Reiner and Bertholdt. I'm tired of it. I feel like I've spent more of my life being mad, than living it"  
This time Levi kept his mouth shut about Eren's justified anger. The reason Eren had spent so much of his life being mad was because people had treated him like shit  
"Let's get you into the bath. Then snuggles"  
"God. That sounds good. I'm guessing we need to find a new hardware store"  
"It's fine. I think I scared that kid though?"  
"The one serving? Yeah. But that's only because he knew he'd never be as much of a bad arse as you are"  
"You think I'm bad arse?"  
"Yep. Now take me to the bath!?"

 

*  
Levi had been forced to pick up paint up for him on the way home from work, Eren having told him if he didn't he wouldn't be letting him inside their apartment. After a hot bath, and a massage that had him purring his head off, his alpha had settled then down on the sofa. Levi ordered dinner so he didn't have to cook, and Eren suspected it was so he wouldn't be in the kitchen with anything sharp. It wasn't his fault alphas were arseholes. He hoped the one kicked in the balls wounded up needing surgery or something. He was just as much as a dick as his friend. With Levi's laptop on his lap, he and his mate had shopped Amazon for rugs. He would have preferred to see them in person, but everything started looking the same, until he found a beautiful shimmering blue rug that looked comfortable. Levi purchasing the largest option without even consulting him, his alpha knowing him far too well and knowing he'd fallen in love with it the moment the page had loaded. Next they started picking out small things for their pup, Eren more than happy to let Levi choose things to share with him. He loved that Levi was into all of this. That such a strong alpha could have such a soft and caring side. Picking up some art pieces for the pup's room finished their shopping. Eren thrilled that they'd made so much progress without having to leave the sofa. His stomach was still slightly sore from his angry outburst. The pup hadn't been impressed at all with him, making his annoyance known with the seemingly never ending tumbling inside of him.

A week and a half had passed since then, their orders had been delivered and Eren couldn't wait for Levi to come home. His alpha hadn't wanted him painting on his own, but daytime TV was soooo very boring, and the lure of bright colours was too much. He'd planned everything super carefully in his head. Along the top of the nursery walls he was doing a pattern of two small birds, alternating between pumpkin orange and maya blue, or at least that was what the paint pots said. He'd texted all the details to Levi, and his alpha had gotten exactly what he'd wanted. Even if he wasn't sure about the colour scheme Eren had in mind. The stencil was simple enough for the pattern to work without looking tacky, and in a small way, he kind of felt like he was paying some kind of tribute to Isabel. He would have looked for some way to include Farlan, but Levi still hadn't told him much about him. Carefully taping the stencils in place, he was happy they'd ordered a couple of sets and as they were sticky squares, he "tiled" alone the top of the room, using the cornice for the lines. Getting up and down on the chair was slightly terrifying, but his excitement won out. He wanted to do everything absolutely perfectly. Even if it meant it took days do to so. After the first four birds were painted, he'd decided the room needed more colour. He wanted his child to live a bright and happy life. He wanted them to have everything they could ever want or need, and every opportunity whether they be omega or alpha. Deciding he wanted to paint stripes around the room, he was quietly happy with his choice. It wasn't like he intended on painting striped all over the room, just an orange L striped on two walls, then a blue L stripe on the two opposite walls, an inch or so below the line of the first. They'd be mostly hidden anyway. The furniture boxes were still everywhere, with the overflow stacked neatly behind the sofa. Levi was going to help with the furniture, he'd even said he'd help with painting, but Eren had his heart on doing it himself and Levi seemed to understand that. His alpha didn't know he was still struggling with accepting his pup and pregnancy, and the altercation with the alphas at the hardware store had messed up him up more than the wanted to admit. Each time his thoughts wandered back, he was filled with anger and hurt. Being told that he should be chained had been like a knife to the heart. It'd felt like the alpha had taken one look at him and known he'd been kept in captivity. Even in the apartment, he found himself on edge. If he accidentally slammed a door too hard, or noticed a spot he'd missed while cleaning, he couldn't help but flinch as fear filled his body. Levi wouldn't hurt him. Levi wouldn't put him in chains or "muzzle" him... he knew that, but that didn't mean he could control his emotions or fears. 12 hours was a long time to be alone. 13 hours if you included travel time and even 14 hours if the day was particularly busy. He loved his alpha, and loved having Levi working again, but he couldn't deny he wasn't lonely without him. Sometimes when he was watching TV, he'd go to ask Levi a question, only to find Levi's spot on the sofa empty. Or he'd go to make lunch, only to remember after he'd gone to all the work of prepping it, that he was all alone. He didn't tell Levi any of this. His alpha had enough to deal with as it was. That's why the nursery had become a lifeline. It got him out of his head, and helped to soothe the guilt he felt for rejecting his own pup.

Painting over the orange stripe on the far wall, Eren was careful to stick between the masking tap lines. He'd learned his lesson on how hard it was to get paint off the wood floors, and how hard it was to get the sink clean again once the brushes had been washed. There was now a stubborn stain on the bottom of the white bathtub that refused to lift thanks to him. He hated it. He hated feeling like he'd ruined Levi's bathtub. Especially with how hard Levi had worked to get to where he was  
"Eren?! I'm home!"  
"Nursery!"  
Levi knew he wasn't allowed to ask questions about what was going on in the nursery. He hadn't even heard his mate arriving home, so caught up in painting   
"I'm going to take a shower!"  
"Ok!"  
He needed to finish up... but his pride in the work he was doing wouldn't let him half-arse it. Still painting the orange stripe, Levi scared the shit out of him  
"Wow. It looks great"  
Jumping, Eren's bare feet slipped on the newspaper as he span to face Levi. Feeling himself falling, his hand flew out and right into the wet paint  
"Eren!"  
The omega's heart was racing, and he was sure he'd just wet himself in fear. Rushing to his side, Levi took his arm  
"Fuck, brat. I didn't mean to scare you"  
"It's alright... I just didn't expect you to come in..."  
Stepping off the paper, Eren looked to the wall. A bright orange hand print now marring his perfect paint job   
"Fuck!"  
Trying to escape Levi, Levi didn't get it  
"It's alright"  
"It's not alright. Shit. I don't have any white paint"  
"It's fine"  
"It's not fine!"  
The spot where his hand had been was all messed up. His perfect stripe ruined. Letting his hand drop to his side, tears welled in his sad green eyes. He hadn't wanted Levi to see the nursery until it was perfect, and now it was ruined  
"It's just a little paint"  
"It's not just a little paint! It was supposed to be perfect and now I've ruined it!"  
"Nothing's ruined"  
Shoving the paint brush at Levi's chest, he shook his head  
"How can I be a mum if I can't do this right?!"  
"Eren..."  
"It was supposed to be perfect! For our pup! And I ruined it"  
"Eren, you need to calm down. Nothing's ruined"  
"It is. It's all ruined!"  
Whining miserably, his stomach cramped. Every time he got angry or sad, his body start to betray him. Cramping and acting like it wanted to go into heat... while Thomas's words had never left his head. He went into heat to be more loveable. If that was the case, he was the least loved omega in the world  
"It's not ruined"  
"You weren't supposed to see! You... said you understood"  
"I know, but I got curious. The stripes look good. So do the birds"  
"They look stupid! I'm stupid for thinking I could do this"  
"You're not stupid. Here, why don't you take a break?"  
"How can I?! The paint's fucking ruined"  
"Then I'll fix it up"  
Painting his hand, Levi pressed his hand beside Eren's. The mark left fainter than his own  
"Why the fuck would you do that?!"  
"So you wouldn't feel so bad?"  
"You... ugh... why?"  
"It's our child. Yours and mine. Why shouldn't we paint things like this, to remind them how much we love them"  
"Because that's not what I had planned!"  
"Sometimes a change in plans is for the best"  
"S-so you don't like the nursery?"  
Had he really fucked up that badly? Levi had liked the two colours he'd chosen, even suggesting a brighter orange... Whining again, another cramp passed through his stomach. His chest growing wet as his tears dropped down freely  
"Eren, the nursery looks amazing. If you really want, I am happy to pick some white paint up after work tomorrow... but for now, I really think you need to take a break. I'll tidy this up"  
Wasn't that the same as taking over? His stupid emotions were out of control, but as he softly padded from the nursery, that's all he could think. That he'd fucked up and now Levi didn't want him in there. He'd just wanted to make something special for their child and he couldn't even do that right.

Showering, he was uncomfortable. He preferred baths as his skin itches like crazy, especially along the bottom of his swell and bathing seemed to ease that. Showering also meant standing, and he couldn't help the fact that hot water made him sleepy. Basically, he felt it was kind of dangerous to shower alone, so showered with Levi instead. In his current mood, he felt like a burden to his boyfriend. Hiding his feelings and panic attacks from Levi took so much work. He wanted to believe he was getting better, but he just didn't know anymore. Closing his eyes, Eren tilted his head forward, trying to focus on the feel of the hot water raining down against his scalp. He was ok. He was ok. He just had to make it through the next few days, then he could ask Krista for her advice. It didn't seem right or fair to ask any of his friends. He didn't want to burden them with his insecurities, especially when he knew everything stemmed from his own poor mental health. Maybe the alpha had been right to call him "psychotic". He'd felt crazy at the time. He'd fucking snapped and some guy's nose... it was his fault. If he hadn't been so lazy, he could have gone with Levi. Yeah. If he hadn't been there, no one would have been hurt. The squeezing in his chest grew tighter by the second, until he was sliding down the shower wall. He needed to open his eyes, but now he was too fucking scared to. Scared Levi would hurt him if he did. Scared he was trapped on the shower floor. Scared about the fact he was too pregnant to run. Scared about what the future held for his pup. Levi promised to love the pup, no matter it's dynamic, but what if he didn't? What if in 5 years from now, he regretted everything? And what if when the pup didn't present as an alpha, he left? What was he supposed to do? How was even supposed to be a mum? He didn't know how to be a mother. He could barely remember his own mother! Other than her dying. What if he died? What happened to his pup then? Would Hanji take it in? Would Levi still love it? The constant reminder of him? Everything felt too fucking real, too fucking fast. He was only 21. How the fuck was he supposed to be a good mum? All of Levi's wants for him suddenly made sense. He had fuck all life experience. He'd only ever worked as a stripper. Oh god. What was he supposed to tell his pup if they ever asked how he met Levi? I was wearing angel wings and booty-shorts? Shaking my arse for random alphas while living with Zeke? He couldn't tell them that! Shit! Shit! Shit!

Curled around his stomach, once again, Eren didn't hear Levi. Above him the shower was turned off with a loud "Fuck", but it barely registered  
"Eren? Hey. Hey, you're ok"  
He wasn't ok. He was going to be a mother! There was like three months left! Then. Then their pup would be here and he had no idea what to do!  
"Eren, I'm going to move you from the shower now. I've got you"  
Eren shook his head, he didn't want to move. He just... he needed... to fucking breathe  
"It's alright. I've got you"

Wrapping him in a thick towel, Levi lifted him off the bathroom floor. Carried out and into their bedroom, his mate sat him down on their bed  
"Eren, you need to calm your breathing for me"  
A jolt ran through him. His head snapping up to stare down at Levi. It was like he had to do what he was being told, and didn't understand why  
"Breathe with me. In through your nose and out through your mouth"  
How was Levi just sitting there? How come he wasn't freaking out over this? They'd made a whole tiny person who'd rely on them to survive. A his stomach cramped again, his hand flew up to grip his swell as he whimpered. He couldn't have his fucking heat! Why didn't his body get the fucking message?! He already too much fluid and a fucking cyst. He'd already messed the whole pregnancy up!   
"Eren?"  
"I can't! I can't do this!"  
Wailing at Levi, his alpha blinked at him  
"Do what?"  
"Have a fucking kid! I can't do this!"  
Taking his hands in his, Levi held them while rubbing his thumb over Eren's fingers   
"Yes, you can"  
"No, I can't! I don't even know how to take care of myself! I don't know how to take care of a pup! I couldn't even do the the nursery right! What if you die? What if you regret this pup? What if you regret me? What if I'm a bad mum? I can't do this, Levi! I can't do any of this"  
"Eren, you can. I know you can. You're braver and smarter than anyone I know"  
"I didn't even go to school!"  
"No, but you worked your arse off to learn everything you could. Life has been completely crap for you, and you know all the things not to do. I know you're scared, but you're going to be an amazing mum"  
"I'm not... I'm not. I'm messed up in the head! I helped my dad, birthing pups and they were killed! Killed... they hadn't even had a chance to live. I don't deserve this pup! I don't deserve anything. All I do is bring death"  
"No. You don't"  
"I do. I do... I can't be a good mum... I just want to be a good mum"  
"You're going to be the best mum. I know you are. It's normal to be scared and to feel this way. I wonder if I'm going to be any good as a father. I don't know what a warm and loving home is even supposed to mean. All I know is that being with you, it makes me the happiest and luckiest alpha"  
"What if you don't want me anymore? What if you don't want the pup? Stress caused developmental issues. I read it. So does PTSD and anxiety. What if there's something wrong with him? It's all my fault... I can't even be pregnant properly"  
"Yes, stress can cause issues, but Eren, I don't care. Whatever happens, we can deal with it as a family"  
"What if he suffers because of it? What if he's an omega and something wrong? What if we can't help him?"  
"I think that's enough "what ifs". We can talk about them, but we don't have any idea and won't until he's born"  
Eren was still crying. Snot running over his lips as he gasped for breath while mumbling out his words. Levi didn't get it. He wasn't an omega...  
"I couldn't even do the nursery right. You had to fix it"  
"It was only a little bit of paint"  
"I wanted it to be perfect when I showed you. Now you're going to remember it not being perfect"  
"There's nothing wrong with it. The birds and the stripes both look good"  
"Not good enough. I wanted... I wanted to make it good for you and the pup. I wanted you to be proud, but I failed"  
"I am proud"  
"I'm so stupid"  
"You're not stupid"  
"I am... it was never going to be perfect"  
"Eren. I love the nursery. I love everything you've chosen for it. I love the bird and the stripes and the paint barely needed touching up. You've done a really good job. I'm so proud of you. You did so much work on your own and I can tell how much you loved doing it"  
"You weren't supposed to look. Now it's all ruined"  
"It's not ruined. Nothing is ruined"  
Eren shook his head. They weren't getting anywhere. Releasing his left hand, Levi cupped his left cheek  
"I don't know how to make this better, but there's nothing wrong with that room at all. Even the hand prints look good there. You're being too hard on yourself. Would you be this mad at me if I'd messed up?"  
"N-no"  
"Why not? If I accidentally tripped and got my hand in the paint, would you yell at me and call me stupid?"  
"No"  
"Then stop belittling yourself. You're not to blame, and it's already taken care of. I love the nursery. I can't wait to set up all the furniture and put everything away. This pup, this is our baby. Yours and mine. If you haven't noticed already, I'm in love with you. And I'm in love with this pup of ours. You don't need to feel so much pressure to get things right. No one is perfect. If we were, no one would be happy. I love you. How about we get you dried down and something to eat?"  
"I want to sleep"  
"Alright. I'll grab you a shirt and some underwear"

 

*  
Leaving Eren to sleep, Levi was having a melt down of his own. Hearing Eren voice all the fears he had, brought Levi's rushing to the surface from the back corner of his mind. Given he'd soon be 36, he shouldn't be experiencing this level of fear. He was a goddamn alpha! He'd seen people literally vivisected! He'd seen dead alphas, betas and omegas. He'd seen some really fucked up shit in his line of work. One little pup shouldn't have this much control of his heart and mind... but what if something did go wrong? People died every single day and there was nothing that could change that. People died every single day doing the most mundane of things. Even driving to the shops could result in death. If he was to die, what would happen to Eren? What would happen to their pup? Eren had come so fucking far. When he'd first met the brat, he never could imagine the kind of shitty past he was hiding. Nor the abuse or the suffering the omega had gone through. Eren had worn a mask to the face the world, his walls as high as the tallest building in Shinganshima. He'd been the one who tore his boyfriend's walls down. Who'd broken all the fake coping mechanisms Eren was using to keep himself going. He'd broken Eren. Made him expose himself for who he really was and offered him shelter in the storm as the pieces crumbled. But who'd take Eren in if something was to happen? Hanji would without even thinking about it, but Eren had a stubborn streak 10 miles long. His whole life was so interwoven with Levi's, that his omega would surely break beyond repair if something were to happen to him. And now... they had a pup coming. Eren might not know it, or even think it, but he was far from the first person in the world to feel scared shitless by being pregnant. Levi had dealt with more than his fair share of shitty idiots feeling the same, though now he was on the other side of it all, he was forced to admit he understood all too well how scary everything fucking was. He could into an emergency and keep his head. He could deal with victims like it was his calling... but being a father. He had no fucking clue. He still didn't understand why Eren was so upset over the nursery. It looked amazing. The birds along the top were just the right size not to be annoying, and the two stripes broke up the almost overbearing whiteness of the walls. Their hand prints might not have been planned, but he didn't dislike them... He knew the room was special to Eren, but it was special to him too. If he'd been honest, he kind of had felt left out when Eren said he wanted to paint it alone... He didn't see whatever Eren was seeing in the way of imperfection. 

Then there was fucking Grisha. Once again the man had reared his ugly fucking head. From what he'd gathered, because Eren couldn't just fucking tell him everything at once, Grisha had got himself caught up in some kind of baby farm that took advantages of omegas. Such a practice had been common years ago, when omegas were fell under the category of fauna, and thus had no rights over themselves and children. But as far as he'd known, the government had cracked down on those sorts of places after people finally pulled their heads out their arses and realised that omegas were actual people who deserved every single right everyone else had. Out of all the messed up shit he'd seen, he never thought that Eren would be involved in something like that, even if not willingly. Dead fucking children. Omegas seperate from their pups, all for the money for the rich. It was fucking revolting. All he could hope was that that part of their lives would never rear its ugly head again. Grisha was dead, as were quite a few people from the sound of it. Eren had been forced to take a life in order to survive and he knew how his mate would grieve. An ugly stain had formed on Levi's heart when he'd realised that Eren would be forever linked with one he'd killed. It was Levi's right to be the only one in Eren's heart. The only one who could carve his existence so deeply into Eren, that the omega was bound to him forever. His right alone to be the centre of Eren's existence. He didn't want his mate thinking of other alphas and what might have been. By the time he'd realised the extent of the stain, it'd gone too far for him not to accept it. If he wanted Eren, he had to accept every single part of him. Everything that made him, him. When it came to Eren, he wasn't even sure if he could tell up from down anymore, and it was fucking terrifying. If he was to die, Eren would alone. Alone and free to love someone else. Someone else would be bringing up his pup. Someone else would be tucking them in, reading them stories and then sliding into bed with Eren. Of course, above all, he truly wished for Eren's happiness... with him.

And the same went for his own feelings on Eren's death. If he were to lose Eren, he'd never survive it. Pulling everything out the spare room and reliving his memories of Farlan and Isabel had brought that home so hard he couldn't cope. They'd been a family. All they'd had was each other, even Hanji and Erwin couldn't be classed as family. Not the same as Isabel and Farlan were. They'd been the entirety of his world. When he'd lost them, Erwin had propped him up, but he'd felt so completely alone and abandoned. And after that, it was hard to get to close. His own fears of abandonment preventing him from having anything meaningful at all. He'd taken the roll of submissive during sex, to prevent his partner's falling pregnant. He wasn't about to father a child he had no knowledge of. Sure, he'd fucked... probably just as much as he'd been fucked... and in all honesty, there really hadn't been that many times. He'd carefully kept himself in line, and told himself he was fine that way. He now liked to think that something inside of him knew they weren't the one for him. Not now he had Eren who was in every way everything he could ever want. The kid still cleaned. He was pregnant, exhausted, and studying, but he cleaned. So thoroughly that he was nearly as good as him. He couldn't deny that it didn't grate on his nerves. Sometimes when he couldn't sleep, or he was wired from sex, he'd leave Eren to sleep while he went and cleaned. Usually his boyfriend had done such a good job, it was hard to find any signs of mess. He'd even scrubbed the washing machine and drier out thanks to his lack of available surfaces. He could just ask not to clean, like he had in the beginning, but that would get him nowhere... 

Fuck. 

He was going to be a dad... he needed to sort his shit out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot the movie UP existed until I wrote the scene. In my defence, I've seen it once... I think.
> 
> As always, I do take requests and suggestions... We are slowly making our way to the end. I promise. This isn't going to continue to draaaaag out forever.


	53. Chapter 53

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorrrrry. I was distracted writing 54 so you're getting this minutes after tumblr

Snuggling back into Levi, Eren was giggling. Outside the rain was pissing down, but cuddled up in his mate's hold was enough to forget the miserable weather. Levi's hand was on his swell, each time the expectant father felt their pup kiss, Levi would kiss his shoulder. He wasn't sure if Levi realise what he was doing, but Eren found it completely adorable. His breathing was so close to purring that Eren decided to count it, there was a slight rumble in his chest, and a small squeak with each sleepy breath against his neck. The love Levi could have for their pup was sexy. That his mate could want him so much even though his stomach had swelled so far. Every so often the soft drag of Levi's fingers against his stretched would tickle, and for some stupid reason, once he'd started giggling he couldn't stop. They'd woken up early due to the storm outside, and after a quick trip to the bathroom, they'd been snuggled up like this. Eren was so loved up, he wanted to stay in the small bubble of him and his alpha. Levi was supposed to be getting up to get ready for work, but their pup was so active, the moment he'd placed Levi's hand on his stomach his alpha had come to a stop. After his shameful breakdown, Levi had booked him a new appointment with Krista, then appointment for himself with the woman. He didn't like to push Levi over it, but he was quietly proud. It was huge step for his alpha, and Krista was so awesome that she'd be able to help him through anything. The last appointment he'd had, Krista's alpha Ymir, was taking Krista dancing again. Dancing while pregnant wasn't the same, but they'd both dissolved into giggles over it. After talking about what his father had done, it'd been a good way to end the session. If not a little unusual, but Krista was amazing like that. 

Letting out a sigh, Levi's hand slid to the middle of his belly, his alpha nuzzling his nape  
"You have to go work"  
"I don't want to. I want to stay here with you"  
"Mmm, as much as I'd love to go to work with you, I don't think Erwin would be too happy"  
"Erwin would be fine with it. It's our boss that would have a tantrum"  
"Aw... are you scared of your big bad boss?"  
"No. He's just a shitty arsehole who wouldn't know which end the shit comes out of"  
Giggling, Eren hefted himself to roll in Levi's hold. Both he and Levi had morning breath, but he still smiled for his mate  
"I'm sorry. If it counts, I'm probably just going to spend most of today right here"  
"Mmm... now I really don't want to go"  
Slipping his hand down between Eren's legs, Levi playfully nipped at his shoulder  
"Leeeeevi"  
"If you're going to spend all day in bed, what's the problem"  
"The problem is you'll be late for work. You still need to take a shower"  
"Then take a shower with me"  
"But I'm warm and... ahhh"  
Moaning as Levi rubbed hard against his covered arse, he knew he was fighting a losing battle  
"Fine..."  
"Good..."

Taking his hand, Levi helped him off their bed. His boyfriend then wrapping his arms around him and clinging as he padded through to the bathroom  
"I have to pee, you wait here"  
"I'll start the shower"  
Eren rolled his eyes with a sigh, knowing Levi wouldn't bother leaving  
"No peeking"  
"I'm not going to peek"  
Eren still waited until the shower was on before peeing. He didn't want his mate hearing him, given it usually wasn't that much as he peeing so frequently his bladder was never really full. Stripping off his clothes, he left them on the floor for Levi to fuss over. Devoid of the thin layers, goosebumps erupted across his flesh. He should have just stayed in bed, where it was warm and smelt of Levi  
"It's fucking cold"  
"Then hurry up and get in the shower"  
Shooting Levi a glare, he slipped past the alpha and into the shower, unable to suppress a surprised yelp as the warm water his hit cooling skin  
"Everything ok?"  
"Yes! Now hurry up. I want to go back to bed"  
It took Levi another few moments before joined him. His boyfriend wrapping his arms around his waist to cling to him again  
"Levi, you're poking me in the arse"  
"Isn't that the plan?"  
"Either do it properly or get out"  
"Someone's impatient"  
"Can you blame me? I'm still sleepy"  
"Put your hands on the wall for me?"  
Spreading his legs to keep his balance, Eren placed his hands on the wall. He would have preferred sex in bed, but they really didn't have time for that. Feeling Levi moving behind him, his boyfriend's hands moved to grope his arse, Eren's eyes shooting wide open as Levi's tongue lapped at his opening. He'd never expected being eaten out to feel so good, but the last time his boyfriend had gone down on him, he'd nearly passed out from pleasure. Loosening him with his tongue, Levi moved to start opening him with his fingers as he slicked hard. His alpha moaning in tune with the stick pulse of slick sliding from his entrance  
"Fuck. Eren. You're so fucking wet for me"  
"Mhmm, all for you alpha..."  
Applying himself to the flesh folds, Levi's moans were the sexiest fucking thing he'd ever heard. The way Levi had explained it, slick was almost like a drug for alphas. Each omega tasted differently to them, but each and every alpha couldn't get enough of it. Curling his fingers, Levi stretched him wider, adding a third finger and brushing over his prostate. Coming down the wall, his knees shook as his belly heaved. That was the worst thing about sex standing up, the way his belly would heave and pull on his tightly stretched skin  
"Fuck..."  
Running his tongue up Eren's arse, the omega whined at the loss of Levi's fingers and mouth, his alpha's hands sliding across his arse and up to take him firmly by the hips  
"Levi... don't knot me"  
Levi let out a growl behind him, Eren gasping as he pushed in without warning  
"You don't want my knot?"  
"N-no... if you knot me, you'll be late to work"  
"Fuck work. You feel so fucking good around me. So tight..."  
"L-Levi.... ahhh... please, don't knot me"  
"I won't. For my cute omega who asked so nicely"  
Riding him hard, Eren was reduced to whimpers. With a hand supporting his belly, the bounce of his boobs was driving him crazy. They'd been even more sensitive then usual lately, Levi had said it might have something to do with his milk coming in, but he wasn't sure. They'd agreed to ask his obstetrician at his next ultrasound appointment scan at 28 weeks. The next scan was big enough as it was. He still had excess fluid, and they were supposed to be talking about the possible outcomes from it. It was the first ultrasound he really wasn't looking forward to. Feeling a small stab of pain as Levi pulled him up stand, that was soon forgotten as he came again. Clutching his stomach, he barely had time to adjust before Levi pulled out and came down his inner thighs. Eren whimpering at the growing pain across his hips and stomach. His alpha pressing kisses along his spine, before realising something was wrong  
"Eren?"  
"Owww... shit..."  
Helping him stand a little straighter, Levi's concerned face filled his vision  
"Eren, what's wrong? Did I hurt you?"  
"No... just the position. I think you dislodged my womb"  
"I..."  
"It's ok... I'm ok... I was joking. I'm just a little stuck. Help me stand up properly?"

Hunched over, he felt like an old man. Levi helping him to stand up properly, be grabbing his body wash off the shelf  
"I'm sorry"  
"No... I wanted it. My back's just sore"  
"Why didn't you tell me?"  
"Because it wasn't as sore before. Seriously, stop fussing and give me a kiss"  
"I can't help it. Maybe I should take you in? Have Mike take a look at you? I don't know what I'd do if I lost you"  
"Levi. I love you, but you're overreacting. You're not going to lose me. I'm not going anywhere"  
"I still worry"  
"My silly alpha. I love you. I love you and you're going to be late to work"  
"You're a fucking slave driver. You know that, right?"  
"Says the man who keeps pestering me about the nursery"  
The nursery was still unchanged from the last time Levi had been in there, but Levi had decided he wanted to touch up the white, and now Eren was forcing him to wait until he had his next few days off. He didn't want Levi exhausting himself before his shift.... and he still wasn't really ready to walk back in there alone  
"Only because I love you and I want everything to be prefect for you"  
Eren pouted, Levi forced to tip toe slightly to give him that kiss  
"You don't get to throw my words back at me"  
"I do, when they go both ways"  
"You go both ways"  
"I do actually... if you're ever interested"  
Eren choked on air. Flustered and not knowing what to say. Levi had mentioned it before...  
"I... Stop changing the topic and get out"  
"I haven't even showered"  
"Because you've been talking nonstop. Erwin's going to be showing up on our doorstep if you keep this up"  
"Let him"  
"What! No... this apartment is our safe place. I know he's your friend, but inside here, it's our own little world"  
Levi knew that. Eren loved their apartment. He loved how stylish Levi was, and how everything was functional... before he moved in. Now everything was a stylish and organised mess of their things. Cushions lived on the sofa, as did his blankets. The recliner hadn't been used properly for weeks, Levi preferring to cuddle up with him  
"Do the scents from work bother you?"  
"No, because they just tell me you've come back home..."  
Levi sighed, finally pouring body wash into his hand. His alpha starting to wash him down, instead of himself. He had no idea how Levi was going to handle going to work when he was even further along  
"You're supposed to be washing yourself!"  
"You said your back hurts. It's my medical diagnosis that you need an immediate massage"

They both knew how that was going to go... Levi's hands all over him, even in pain, it still drove him wild... Ah fuck... yep. There is was. He was slicking again, and Levi's hands were still on his shoulders. Great. Now he was going to have to start waking Levi even earlier... but if he did that, his alpha would probably just use the extra time for snuggles, instead of getting ready like he was supposed to. Biting his shoulder, Levi rutted up behind him  
"Don't even think about it"  
"I'm not thinking anything"  
"You're poking me in the arse again"  
"I see no evidence. I'm just washing your back"  
"I'm going to snap it off"  
Levi growled  
"You wouldn't"  
"No... I'm just annoyed you're so ok with shirking work"  
"Eren, I'm going to make it to work on time. I start at 8 today"  
He could have fucking smacked him. Or fucking neutered him. He'd been sure Levi said he started at 7! Like, "million dollars, lock it in" sure. And his alpha hadn't fucking said anything! He knew he was worried! Levi could have showered alone and he could still be in bed!  
"You're an arsehole!"  
"I know... but you're so adorable when you get mad at me"  
"Find it adorable, when you're locked outside for the night"  
"We both know you wouldn't lock me out. You like your cuddles too much for that"  
"Don't go turning this back on me. I love your cuddles and you know it. Why didn't you tell me?"  
"Because I wanted more time with you"  
"That's it. I'm telling Erwin to keep you overnight"  
"That means no cuddles, remember?"  
"I can't fucking win"  
"Nope. I'm probably going to be home about 9. Is there anything you want me to bring home?"  
"Donuts"  
Levi sounded slightly shocked, probably expecting him to say "Just you". He couldn't help it. He'd been craving them for days  
"Donuts?"  
"Donuts and cheesy fries... and a bottle of coke. I know it ruins your internal organs and I know corn syrup changes your brain chemistry, but that's what the baby wants"  
"Eren, I doubt it's going to make much of a difference. We both know you regularly eat healthy"  
"Of course I do. Someone's got to keep you in shape"  
"Round is a shape"  
"I know. I'm pretty sure I'm the definition of it"  
"You're not round, you're swollen with pregnancy"  
Eren laughed, he couldn't help it  
"You make it sound like a contagious disease"  
"I don't mind how many times you catch it"  
"Ok. That's enough shower time for you. I'm getting out"  
"You're not even clean"  
"Levi. I ache. I need to sit back down"  
His stomach and back were still tender, an almost heat like cramping had set in. Probably from standing so long. He needed to go back to bed, if he'd never be able to get back up  
"Ok. Let me clean you down properly"  
"I don't know if I can stand that long"  
"I've got you"

 

*  
Levi was in a great mood. Spending the first hour of his day feeling his pup moving was now his favourite way to wake up. Sex with Eren was a very close second, only beaten due to the fact he'd had to pull out before knotting his mate. He knew how much of a toll it took on Eren's body now. His love exhausted from two orgasms and a stomach full of pup pushing up against his rib cage. Still, Eren had been absolutely adorable. The moment he was dressed, he'd climbed back into bed with Titan. The fat cat making himself comfortable as he used Eren's stomach for his pillow. Even this shitty weather couldn't dampen the smile that came with knowing Eren was waiting at home for him.

 

Slapping his knee, Levi was forced back to reality. With a scowl, he openly glared at Erwin for interrupting his thoughts  
"Levi? Are you even listening to anything I've been telling you?"  
"No"  
Erwin sighed  
"I asked you if you'd had a chance to tell Eren about our training week"  
"Training week?"  
Erwin gave a deep sigh  
"Next month, in Mitras? Don't tell me you've forgotten"  
"I haven't forgotten, and no. I haven't had a chance to yet. We've had other things to talk about"  
"Like the nursery?"  
Why did he open up to Erwin about everything? Oh. That was right. He'd had a new will made, just in case anything happened to Eren. He'd given a copy to Erwin, so at least someone with brains would know what the fuck was going on. This has meant opening up to his friend about his fears of becoming a father. He'd already booked himself an appoint with Krista, shifting Eren's appointment so they lined up, with his after his brat's. Erwin had suggested therapy, and talking to Eren. They both had the same fears, so it was only natural after all. Waiting until after Eren's 25 week ultrasound at the start of October, Eren had looked terrified when he'd asked to talk to him. His omega had tears in his eyes before he'd even started explaining his own fears. It'd been hard. He wasn't the type to share his past or his internal struggles, but Eren had been understanding. Way more understanding than he deserves. His omega had pulled him into the tightest hug he could. The pup was healthy, but now Levi was genuinely concerned for Eren's health during the rest of the pregnancy. He was still carrying extra amniotic fluid, due to the pup having his A blood type rather than Eren's, his cyst hadn't ruptured and drained on its own, and Eren was easily confused. He talked about things that happened the other day, but that seemed to now mean any time from the day they met, right through to now. His mate was also fatigued. Heavily fatigued. His feet and ankles badly swollen, as were his fingers. There was no way he was getting an engagement ring on them. Eren's next ultrasound was the following week, if Eren's fluid levels hadn't evened out by then, they'd have to look at organising a c-section for his mate. Sighing to himself, he rubbed his eyes  
"Yeah. We talked about it"  
"And?"  
"And what?"  
"You said he was devastated over it all"  
"It's fine. We're going to touch up the white together and we'll decide about the spilled paint then"  
Telling Erwin about the handprints was not happening. He still had some shreds of a reputation left, and something as cheesy as that would ruin it all  
"Have you asked Hanji yet, about him staying with her for the week?"  
"I don't think he'll want to leave the apartment. Next months the anniversary of scattering Zeke, I don't know if he wants to head down to Paradis or not"  
"Is he alright to fly?"  
"Probably not. He doesn't handle flying all the well. If we went, I'd probably have to drive down"  
"You might want to talk to him about this"  
"I know. It's on my to do list. It's hard enough as it is. Whenever I'm home, he's all I can focus on"  
"That's understandable. It won't be long before your pup's here"  
"Don't remind me. I have no idea how he's already so far along"  
"Because as much as you wish it wouldn't, time keeps moving"  
"Time is a bitch. I swear it moves twice as fast in the mornings"  
"Probably because you actually have to get up and have breakfast"  
"More like I have to force myself out of bed. Eren gets mad over it all"  
"I really can't imagine him getting properly mad"  
"Tell that to the alpha he hit. Fucking arsehole deserved it"  
They'd talked about that too. It was somewhat irritating that Erwin was bringing it up again  
"Eld and Gunther had a good laugh over it"  
"He fucking said Eren should be chained up. He's lucky Eren didn't tear him up pieces"  
"It was a stupid move picking a fight with a pregnant omega"  
"Eren blamed himself for it all. Anyway, why are we talking about my omega"  
Erwin laughed  
"There's no need to get so defensive. That reminds me. Hanji wants to thrown him a baby shower"  
"Is she doing this for Eren, or because she's sick of you"  
"Well, you guys don't come round anymore. She's a bit lonely"  
"She knows we haven't been able to. First was that shit with Eren's omega, then... well, Eren's finally been opening up about what happened to him. And we did. What... a month after he got out of hospital"  
"That was lunch. In public. She really misses him. They might talk most days, but it's not the same"  
"Look. If Eren doesn't want to leave the house, I'm not going to make him. It's more important that he feels safe enough to talk to me about his dad, than for him to go visit Hanji"  
"What did have to say, then?"  
"About Grisha?"  
"Yeah"  
"He was working for a fucking omega farm. Breeding babies for the fucked up rich. Grisha somehow died saving him. Really fucked with his head. Eren's still struggling to accept he's allowed to keep his pup and that he's not his father"  
Fuck. In all his bitterness, the words had slipped out  
"I'll kill you, if you tell him I told you"  
"I didn't think those sorts of places still existed"  
"As long as humanity exists, the fat pigs will find a way to fill their troughs. Explains why Karanes police don't give two fucks. They were probably on the payroll"  
"You know. It sounds like getting Eren outside and doing more things would actually help his mental health"  
"What..."  
"When you first started dating, you made it a point of taking him places and teaching him new things. Maybe he's struggling because he's not getting out enough? He needs to face his fears, or you're both going to burn out"  
"If Eren wants to go out, I'll take him wherever he wants to go. But he has to make that choice for himself"  
"He's not going to make it on his own"  
"You don't know him. He can be a fucking stubborn shit"  
"Exactly. You're the one who's been worrying for his future. If he doesn't learn how to do things for himself, how do you expect him to take care of himself if something were to happen"  
Levi growled, cross his arms in an almost sulky matter  
"I'm not saying you're wrong. But sometimes the closer you are, the less you see"  
"You know his pregnancy hasn't been smooth sailing. As it is, he may need a caesarean"  
"Levi, people have caesarean's everyday"  
"Those people aren't my mate and they aren't carrying my pup. Can you just fucking drop it?"  
"Fine. But..."  
"Shut up. I swear I'll punch those caterpillars you call eyebrows, right off your fucking face"  
Erwin's laugh grated on him. He was deadly serious. His instincts to protect were roused at the mere thought of his lover, let alone having another alpha speak of him. He knew it was mostly because he was being affected by the pheromones Eren released unconsciously, and could only hope he'd calm after the birth. Until then, any small thing was likely to set him off.

Called out to a hit and run, Levi's mood finally dropped. The man had a crushed pelvis, and Levi was sure that even if he survived, he'd be a paraplegic at the bare minimum. The fact the driver hadn't even stopped had once again confirmed how shit humanity was. Rushing the victim into the ER, he left Erwin to fill the trauma staff in. If he opened his mouth, he was sure he'd regret it. As it was, he'd have to give a statement to the police, leaving him to pray that it wasn't the same two dicks from the hardware store. He was sure he'd seen one of them talking to Erwin, but he'd been too busy trying to keep the random stranger just causally dying from actually fucking dying. He'd barely had a moment to breathe before his phone was ringing. It was hardly professional to have it on, let alone on his person, but with Eren being home alone, he wasn't chancing missing a call over something important. Pulling his phone out and seeing Petra's name, he internally groaned to himself. Nope. He wasn't fucking dealing with it.

Leaning against the central desk of the ER, Levi ignored the second call from Petra as he filled his paperwork in. He'd been blessed by the powers that be. The woman hadn't talked to him since he'd been discharged from hospital after the attack at the Ball. Hearing the sound of boots squeaking, he looked up to see Erwin jogging towards him  
"We've got to go"  
"What? Why?"  
"Petra just called me. Eren called for an ambulance"  
"What? Why? Why didn't he call us?"  
"He said he did... if he called while we were on scene, we might have missed it"  
"How the fuck does she even know?"  
"Eren asked to be put through to her. He must have remembered she worked there. I don't know"

Mentally saying "fuck it" to the forms, it was a rush job to swap in the new gurney. Climbing into the back, Levi scrambled to organised things, while his phone was against his ear. Eren wasn't picking up. He hoped that meant he was still on the phone with Petra, and not suffering alone. Over the radio, Erwin contacted dispatch. Petra was their only source of information. When his phone rang out again, he was about to throw the fucking thing, until it started vibrating with Eren's name on the screen. Rushing to answer the call, he couldn't describe the relief... though... Eren was sobbing  
"L-Lee?"  
"I'm here. What happened? What's wrong?"  
"Where were you?! I tried to call you"  
"I'm sorry. I was at a scene. I must have missed your call. What's wrong? Are you ok?"  
"I feel like I'm being stabbed in the stomach..."  
Levi's stomach dropped, Eren had been fine this morning  
"I'm so scared... what if something's wrong?"  
"Nothing's going to be wrong..."  
It could be Braxton Hicks. Though not usually painful, his mate's sense of pain had been messed up by his past. His symptoms may be psychosomatic, because he thought that all contractions were supposed to hurt  
"Are you bleeding or has there been any fluid loss?"  
"N-no... not that I know"  
"Ok. Ok, that's good. That's good..."  
No blood. That probably meant that he wasn't miscarrying. Shit. He used know this shit. He should know this shit  
"Levi, tell him 5 minutes!"  
Erwin probably had the lights on, and the man drove like a maniac at the best of times  
"We're 5 minutes out... can you get to the door?"  
"Y-yes... fuck... it really fucking hurts"  
"I know... I know, but I'm on my way"  
So much for not missing important calls... his phone had been in his fucking pocket. He should have felt the fucking thing vibrating. Eren's sobbing was growing more painful to hear by the second. He needed to calm him down, or at least try and change the topic  
"I'm so proud of you. How did you know to call Petra?"  
"B-because you were on call... I told the man I had to talk to her... I didn't know what else to say"  
"That's my smart omega. I'm so sorry"  
"E-Erwin didn't answer either"  
"I know. He was probably driving... I'm so fucking sorry"  
"It... it's ok. I think I scared the fuck out of Petra. I yelled at her"  
"She probably deserved it"  
"No... I'm just freaking out. She promised she'd call you. She called, right?"  
"Yeah. She called. Erwin got the call"  
He figured it was better to fess up right away  
"What? Why?!"  
"Because I was filling in patient forms from the guy we brought in..."  
"Did he live?"  
"What? Oh. He's been taken through for emergency surgery"  
There were a few moment of silence  
"Sorry... can you just keep talking to me?"  
"Of course I can. Tell me what you did today?"  
"I slept. My back was still sore when I woke up, so I went back to bed..."  
"Was Titan with you?"  
"Yeah... ow... fucking-motherfucking-ow"  
"Eren?"  
"The doors unlocked. I'm on the sofa... shit. I think I'm fucking stuck"  
"We'll be there soon. Tell me what else you did?"  
"I told you I slept... slept and went to the toilet. That's it. I promise"  
"Hey, I didn't mean it like that. I'm freaking out too"  
"I'm sorry. I tried... I wanted to ignore it, but I'm sorry"  
"Eren, you did so good. I promise you. This is on me for missing your call. I'm proud of you. You thought about how to get the help you needed"  
"I... I wanted to call your work, but then I remembered your boss is an arsehole"  
"He is. He really is"  
They needed to put some kind of system in place for this. He'd thought Eren having his and Erwin's numbers were enough. He'd have to double check if Eren had Mike's number. Eren didn't seem to mind Mike... and Mike would have been able to notify them  
"Levi!"  
"Ok. We're here. We're on our way up. I need to put the phone down"  
"No! No..."  
"Eren"  
"Please..."  
"Eren, I'm going to be there in less than 2 minutes. I know you're scared, but 2 minutes"  
"Y-you're really here?"  
"Yeah, brat. You're ok. I'm here"  
"C-can you put your phone in your pocket? S-so I can still hear you?"  
"Sure thing. You'll probably hear Erwin too"  
"I don't want to"  
Levi snorted at Eren's pouty tone, the relief he felt at knowing he'd soon be there to help his mate was immense.

With his kit in his hand, Levi felt a rolling cramp through his guts the moment he stepped out the elevator, close enough now for their bond to be felt. Jogging to his apartment, the door opened readily as he turned the handle. Eren sitting on the sofa like he'd said, his scent so pained Levi nearly gagged as it assaulted his senses  
"Eren"  
Trying to rise from the sofa, Eren whimpered and clutched his stomach, doubling over for his troubles. Racing to his side, Levi dropped his kit, in order to take Eren's face into his hands. His lover warm beneath his touch as he forced his head up to look at him  
"Hey. I'm here. Tell me what's happening"  
"Lee... it hurts"  
"I know. Can you tell me where?"  
"My... lower stomach and my back..."  
"Alright. Alright, I'm here. I need to examine you"  
"I don't think I can move"  
"I've got you"

Eren let out a scream as Levi lifted him off the sofa. Behind them, Erwin was already gloving up  
"What's happening?"  
"Lower abdominal pain. He said it felt like he was being stabbed in the stomach. We need to examine him"  
"On it"  
Erwin followed them through to the bathroom, where Levi supported Eren as he stood  
"Do you..."  
"I'll examine him. Eren, Erwin's going to help you stand. Let him take your weight"  
"N-no..."  
"It's ok. This is our job, remember. He's not going to hurt you, and I'm going to examine you"  
Eren wasn't happy, but Erwin moved to support him as Levi slipped Eren's underwear down. Thick reddy-yellow discharge clinging to his mate's underwear. The consistency completely different from slick, and more like what you'd see from lancing a boil. His stomach turned slightly at the sight  
"L-Levi?"  
"There's discharge. I need to take a proper look"  
Eren yelped as Levi hooked his finger inside his lover without warning. His fingers sliding out covered in more of the same discharge. Despite the discharge being obviously bloody, there was no signs of fresh blood or bleeding  
"Let's take him in"  
"What?!"  
"I think you've developed an infection. This morning probably didn't help. Don't worry, there's no signs of fresh bleeding, but I do want you to get checked"  
"I... I'm not bleeding?"  
"No"  
"Then why does it hurt?"  
Eren was already struggling for breath. Pulling his underwear back into place, Levi moved to wash his hands  
"Like I said, I think you've developed an infection. You're warm and there's a thick discharge. Erwin, what do we have in the way of suitable pain killers?"  
Eren shook his head quickly  
"No drugs"  
"You're in pain"  
"No... please. I don't want to hurt the pup"  
Looking over Eren's head, Erwin nodded. Placing his kit on the bathroom bench, his friend let him take Eren's weight  
"We need to get you pants"  
Eren hissed as Levi lifted him again. It was honestly the easiest way to do things, and at least he hadn't screamed again. Setting him down on their bed, he retrieved a pair of sweats for his mate, helping Eren into them  
"You're ok. It's all going to be ok..."  
"How do you know that? Why... ah!"  
Catching Eren off guard, Erwin injected him in shoulder with a mild sedative. What he'd silently asked for with his look. Eren needed to calm down, before the pup went into distress  
"What the fuck!"  
"It's alright. I know you don't want to hurt the pup. It's just to take the edge off"  
"I told you no"  
"I know, but we need to bring your heart rate down before the pup becomes distressed"  
"You just let him inject me"  
"Don't think it wasn't hard for me. But I promise this will help. Have I ever lied to you?"  
"Maybe. I don't know. I just want it to stop"  
Dissolving back into tears, Levi took Eren into his hold again. His boyfriend whining against him in protest  
"I'll get the door"  
"Well I wasn't going to"  
And he'd snapped. He wasn't fucking calm. His mind was racing through everything and he was still confused. It could be Eren's cyst and if it was, then this could be a blessing in disguise. If it'd finally ruptured, the wouldn't have to worry about it continuing to grow. But there was still a risk of infection. Eren's cyst may have already ruptured since his ultrasound and the pain could be from an infection... his mate hadn't smelt sick this morning. He'd have smelt it, given he spent so long cuddling him. It was more likely this was the cyst rupturing now...

As the sedatives finally kicked in, Eren stopped whining at him. Letting himself be carried downstairs, then out to the ambulance, where Erwin once again showed of his door opening and closing skills. Settling him in the back, he took both kits from Erwin before Erwin closed the side door, leaving him alone with Eren. Sitting beside him, he wrapped an arm around Eren's waist, guiding him to his neck as he rubbed his arm and gently hushed him. The way they'd handled the situation wasn't exactly the way the manual would have dictated, but taking Eren's blood pressure mid-meltdown was pointless when they knew it was sky high. They both knew his past, and knew Eren needed to be handled differently. Besides, they'd retake Eren's obs once they got to hospital. Petra would smooth out things on her end, and if his boss didn't like it, he could such Erwin's dick... because honestly, he didn't want that man anywhere near his genitals.

Eren was still in a fair amount of pain when they reached the hospital. Carrying him through, Mike rushed to meet them  
"What's going on?"  
"Possibly ovarian cyst rupture. It was still evident last week on his ultrasound. Abdominal cramping, no bleeding. Thick red-yellow discharge, and elevated temperature. He didn't smell ill this morning, though he did say he was experiencing some back pain and discomfort"  
"Alright, let's get him into a bed"  
"We administer a sedative roughly 20 minutes ago... no pain relief though"  
Mike nodded, his face all professional as guided Levi through to an open bay. Laying Eren down, Mike smoothly took over  
"Hey, Eren. Levi said you're in a bit of pain?"  
"I feel like I was stabbed in the stomach"  
"And how long have you felt like that?"  
"I don't know..."  
"Did you feel like that this morning? When Levi woke up?"  
"No... I slept for bit because of my back"  
"So you've had pain in your lower back?"  
"I'm pregnant, it always hurts"  
Mike forced a laugh, which Eren returned with a dopey smile  
"Alright Eren, I'm going to have a little feel of your tummy"  
"I'm not three"  
"No, you're not. Levi, do you want to take his hand before you shit yourself?"  
Erwin laughed at Mike's joking turn. Just because they were boning, didn't mean he needed them both ganging up on him. Still, he took Eren's hand. His free hand coming to rest on Eren's hair  
"Levi?"  
"I'm here. You're ok"  
Sliding Eren's shirt up, Eren yelped as Mike gently pushed down on the lower left side of his stomach. Mike nodded to himself as he clearly made a mental note. Feeling around, he continued to nod to himself  
"The pups still active, that's a good sign. Pain seems to be radiating from the left side. Eren, when's the last time you went to the toilet?"  
Eren shook his head  
"I don't remember"  
"Ok. I'm going to organise an ultrasound. From the sound of it, and feeling, I'd say there's a good chance it is a ruptured cyst, but we won't know for sure until after the ultrasound. I'll get a nurse into do his stats"

Stroking Eren's hair, his omega was still whimpering and whining every so often. The nurse had been prompt and efficient. Eren's temperature elevated, but not alarmingly so. Now they were back to waiting again  
"Levi, am I gonna lose the pup?"  
"No. If what I thinks happened has, this is good"  
"Good?"  
Eren whined the word out, his poor omega wouldn't be seeing anything good in this situation  
"Remember how you had that cyst? I think it's finally ruptured. It's a good thing, and they can check it all out while we're here"  
"But the pup?"  
"They'll be monitoring you very carefully"  
Eren nuzzled up into his hand, trying to rub his head against it  
"I'm sorry for disturbing you at work"  
"No need to be sorry"  
"But I am... I should have caught a taxi here. Now I'm causing trouble"  
"Eren, I'm here for you. You're more important to me than anything in this whole world"  
Pushing himself up further, Eren promptly dropped back down  
"Where's Erwin. I wanna say sorry"  
"He's finishing up the papers for the guy we brought in before you"  
And probably talking to the police, knowing better than to try and take him away from Eren  
"I'm still sorry"  
"It's ok. You just rest"  
"I feel gross"  
"It's ok. You did so good. You didn't freak out or have a panic attack. You knew you needed help and you worked out how all on your own. I'm so proud of you"  
"I was so scared... I don't know how to feel"  
"It's ok to be scared. I'm scared too"  
"You're not supposed to be scared"  
"I am. This morning, it was so perfect. I'm scared because I didn't see this coming"  
"You couldn't have known"  
"I should have"  
"Levi... don't be mad"  
"I'm worried"  
"I'm ok, right. Just sleepy"  
"Get some rest. I'm right here"

Thanks to his mood, and Eren drifting off, Mike was less than gentle as he was forced out the "room". It wasn't like he'd meant to snarl at the technician, but Eren had just fallen asleep and the damn arsehole was a fucking noisy arse. Scowling at the world, Erwin was the only one fucking game enough to approach him  
"Any news?"  
"Does it look like I know?"  
"No. But Eren's in the best possible place he could be"  
"I know that. I'm fucking frustrated because not only does he have to have a fucking examination, I can't even be there to hold his hand because I snarled at the technician"  
"So you're mad at yourself"  
"Of course I'm fucking mad. I didn't even think about the pain he'd go through or the confusion if it did rupture. I just told him he'd be ok and it wouldn't hurt the pup"  
"That's what he needed to hear"  
"He needed to know everything, so he knew what all this was..."  
"He's a strong kid"  
"You don't need to fucking tell me that. I know that for myself"  
"I've called Petra, she's relieved Eren is alright. She's closed the case. But the boss knows"  
"Let me guess, he wants us back out there"  
"Sooner rather than later. I told him we were meeting with the police over the hit and run"  
"How is he?"  
"Still in theatre. I've called Hanji, she's going to come stay with Eren"  
Looking to his watch, he groaned to himself. How was he supposed to spend another 6 fucking hours working...  
"That's good..."  
Peeling back the corner of he curtain, Erwin peeked in. Levi wanting to deck him for spying on Eren  
"Mike. How is he?"  
"Cyst rupture. You were right on the money. Levi, you can come in once the technician leaves. I'm going to need your help to keep him calm while giving him an internal examination"  
Eren wasn't going to like that at all...

Levi was right. Again. Holding Eren's hand, and helping Mike half undress Eren before positing him on his side, the moment Mike inserted the anal speculum, Eren shrieked, screaming to be let go. For someone who'd been doped up a moment ago, his mate was definitely feisty as Levi slowly brought him back under control. Mike wisely backing off. Climbing onto Eren's bed, he barely fitted, but tilting Eren's face to meet his eyes, his boyfriend registered his presence  
"That's it. Keep your eyes on me. You're ok. Mike needs to give you a little exam and it's probably not going to feel great. Ok"  
Eren nodded  
"Go ahead, Mike. Eren, just keep your eyes on me"  
Eren attempted to escape with no luck, Mike sliding the speculum ease, Eren whining as he opened it enough to examine him  
"Well, he's got haemorrhoids a plenty. Probably gonna wanna lay of the sex for a while"  
"I'll keep that in mind"  
Haemorrhoids never felt great... but Eren hadn't complained...  
"And there's the discharge. There doesn't seem to be any signs of anything abnormal. Some blood, but that's normal. I'm going to keep him overnight. Normally I wouldn't given how lightly the bleeding is, but you've got work and Eren is pregnant. We'll monitor the bleeding, he may need fluids if it becomes heavier. I'll write him a prescription for antibiotics too. Incase signs of infection develop"  
"So everything else is alright?"  
"By the looks of it. The pups fine, excess fluid though"  
"Yeah. Eren might need a c-section. We're going to discuss it with his OBGYN. Pup's got my blood type"  
"And I hear Hanji is throwing a baby shower"  
"Mike. You have a speculum up Eren's arse. Now might not be the best time"  
"I just wanted to know if there's something in particular you guys want or need?"  
"No... I don't think so"  
"I guess I'll leave it to Erwin then"  
"Don't do that... Just... I don't know. Bring something fluffy for Eren. He's had a lot of trouble accepting that it's alright to pregnant and to be happy. With all the attention on the pup, it might just make his anxieties worse"  
Easing the speculum out, Eren let out a sigh of relief  
"All done. You did so well"  
Mike cleaned Eren up, before pulling his pants up for him  
"I'll give him a shot for the pain. It was most probably the shock of what was happening that upset him"  
"He knew about the cyst, I just didn't think to tell him how much it'd hurt"  
"Well not all ruptures feel the same. Most pass with no symptoms, to very light cramping with small discharge"  
"Eren's was about 40millimetres, I think..."  
"He's going to be fine. I'll make sure to keep a close eye on him until Hanji arrives"  
Right. Hospital curtains. Zero privacy  
"Thanks, Mike. His pregnancy hasn't exactly been smooth sailing"  
"No, but Eren's got balls. Calling Petra, when he couldn't reach or Erwin or you. That had to courage"  
"Yeah. I was thinking, if this happens again, do you mind if I have him call you?"  
"Are you sure? Not Hanji?"  
"To be honest, you've seen his records, while she hasn't. Hanji means well, but her personality can be a little too much for him"  
"While I'm more of a stranger"  
Levi scratched the back of his head, not sure how to reply  
"It's fine. We're all here for you and Eren. He's been good for you"  
"He is good for me"  
"That too"

Cleaning up after himself, Mike left the together so Levi could say a quick goodbye. Nuzzling and kissing his mate's cheek, Eren sighed softly  
"I've got to get back to work. Hanji's going to come sit with you"  
"I have to stay?"  
"Because I have to work. Mike's going to take care of you"  
"My pup?"  
"He's ok. You're both ok"  
"I'm really sorry"  
"You don't need to be sorry"  
"You said it was the cyst?"  
"Yeah"  
"I feel like this is too much, just for a cyst"  
"Even the smallest scratch can become infected. I'll be back at the end of my shift"  
"Can I go home then?"  
"We'll see. I love you"  
Peppering kisses to Eren's lips, Levi was forcing himself to leave, half off the bed, though clinging to his mate  
"I love you too. I'll be back as soon as I can"  
"I know"  
"And I'll be able to check in on you. We still have 6 hours worth of shift left"  
"Ok... I'm really sleepy"  
"Get some sleep then"

 

Returning to work, he only got to drop by the hospital twice. The first time Eren had fallen asleep, while second time he was awake and talking to Hanji, with Anna curled in his side. Coming off shift, he wasn't sure if his boyfriend remembered his request for donuts, cheesy fries and a coke, but he sure as hell hadn't forgotten. He'd bought a 24 pack of mixed flavoured donuts, three types of loaded fries and three cans of Cherry Coke, Vanilla Coke and bottle of ordinary Coke. None of that sugar free shit that didn't even taste like real Coke. He fully intended to take Eren home if they'd let him. He could always drop Eren off at Hanji's or have Hanji come to him. But on the off chance, his arms were loaded as he walked into the Emergency Department, where thankfully Nanaba was still on. It'd only been a couple of hours since he was last in, but that was plenty of time for things to change. Let through with a wave, he headed through to where Eren was alone. Smiling at him, his omega looked a whole lot better than when he'd first been brought in  
"Hey"  
"Hey, you. No Hanji?"  
"No. Anna was sleepy so I told her to take her home. It wasn't that long ago"  
Wriggling to rearrange himself, Eren's happiness made him feel so much better  
"How do you feel?"  
"Better. Hanji actually explained it all to me. She even used normal words. I get it now. Why you said it was a good thing it ruptured... I don't think I could handle more surgery. It was still scary as fuck... apparently the first lot of discharge and blood was mixed into my slick, and that's why there looked so much"  
First lot? Eren hadn't said that. Then again, he was shaken as all fuck  
"And the cramping?"  
"Most gone. It's kind of uncomfortable to sit any other way than this. The pup's ok too... they still want me to stay overnight though. Mike is worried about infection because there was a little more blood in the last discharge"  
Levi looked over his shoulder. More blood... he really didn't like the sound of that  
"He's busy. Something happened with another patient. There was like alarms going off. What's all this?"  
"Dinner. I wasn't sure, so I got options"  
"Food sounds good"  
"Good. Gimme a sec"  
Stealing the hospital table from the hallway, Levi laid out his "offerings". Eren laughing softly  
"You remembered?"  
"I did. I wasn't sure if you would"  
"I've been craving this for days. Thank you. Come up here, you haven't even given me a kiss yet"  
"Sorry"  
Obediently pulling the visitors chair to Eren's side, Levi kissed his omega happily. Eren was in much better spirits than he'd expected, and eager to show him as much as the kiss deepened. Slowly breaking apart, his boyfriend stole another kiss, this one just a quick peck  
"How was work?"  
"Long"  
"That's not very descriptive"  
Opening up the three small aluminium trays of fries, Eren's stomach rumbled, his cheeks dusting red  
"It's fine. I got it all for you"  
"I'm not eating alone. And you're still not telling me about work"  
Levi laughed softly, he wasn't getting out of it so easy  
"Well, first call out was over an dislocated wrist at a playground. The dad thought he was still a kid, and was trying to show off. Idiot fell off the monkey bars. His wife yelled at him for calling an ambulance for a dislocation, while smacking him with her magazine. Then there was a hit and run, driver fled the scene. Theeeeen there was this drop dead gorgeous omega. Seriously, his green eyes. I could spend all day staring at him"  
Eren slapped his arm, a playful pout on his lips  
"You're cheating on me?"  
"You would too. He's beautiful. Anyway, we brought him in. Couldn't stop thinking of him for the rest of the day"  
"Flattery will get you everywhere. Oh. Mike said no sex for a while. Haemorrhoids aren't very sexy anyway"  
"Mike told me..."  
"Mhmm. What else happened?"  
"We had a patient transfer. Then had to bring in the last guy? who got his foot stuck in one of those iron fences. He went to hop it. He went over, while his foot got stuck"  
Eren wrinkled his nose, picking his disposable fork up and immediately going for the closest lot of fries. Their conversation falling between bites  
"I have no idea how you do your job"  
"You get used to it"  
"I don't think I could. I'm so proud to be your mate"  
"Thanks, brat. But it's not just me"  
"I know... you're all so awesome. Hanji's gonna go back to work at the start of next year"  
"She is?"  
"Yeah. She's been looking into day care centres. Marco offered to take Anna, but with baby number two..."  
"She'll sort something out. What else did she have to say for herself?"  
"We're having a baby shower at the end of the month, and that it's ok, because it's after you and Erwin come back from Mitras"  
Eren dropped it so causally that it took Levi a moment, before promptly choked on his fries  
"I was going to tell you..."  
"Mhmm"  
"It's training. I don't want to go..."  
"Levi"  
"I mean... I could probably organise bringing you with us"  
"Levi"  
"We'd have to drive. But if we went to Paradis, we'd also have to drive"  
"Levi"  
"Then there's Titan..."  
"Levi!"  
Blinking at Eren, his boyfriend smiled softly. Maybe he'd slightly been over thinking things...  
"It's ok. I want to stay here. Not in hospital, obviously. But at the apartment. It's just for a week..."  
"Are you sure? I mean..."  
He wasn't ok with Eren being alone for a week. What if something happened? What if something happened and Eren disappeared again? What if there was some kind of complication?  
"Levi. Hey. Calm down, I can smell you right now. And I can see it all over your face. It's a week"  
"I don't want you to be alone"  
"I won't be. I mean, I will. But I won't"  
"And what's that supposed to mean?"  
"I. I was hoping you could show me how to make a proper nest. In my room"  
"Not ours?"  
"I don't know how to nest, outside of pulling out all my blankets... so I want to make one with you. Hanji said she'd come by and make sure I'm ok during the day. She asked if I wanted to stay with her, but all those stairs. My feet hurt at the thought of them"  
Right. No. He didn't know if he'd be able to relax with all those  
"And you want to be home alone?"  
"I'd rather be home with you... but I know you have to go. And I want you to go. You need to do this for work"  
"You're taking this better than I thought you would"  
Especially when Marco had gone into labour without Jean around... Maybe he could just ask Hanji to stay with Eren full time. Even if Eren spent most of his time in his nest, at least he wouldn't be alone...  
"Are you not listening to me? It's for work"  
"But..."  
"Levi. It's for work. I'm so proud of you. You and Hanji saved me, you know. I had no idea how to help myself. And no one at the strip club did. When I think about all those people you've helped over your career... and all those people you'll go on to help. You need to keep helping people"  
"I feel like you're forcing me onto them"  
"I'd have you home all the time, if I thought it was good for you. But speaking of good things, these fries are really good"  
"Smooth topic change there. You know, you don't have to hide your cravings. I don't find it gross or weird"  
"Really? So if I said I wanted chocolate sauce, pickles and strawberry ice cream, you wouldn't be revolted"  
Levi couldn't help the slight rising of his upper lip into a sneer of disgust  
"See..."  
"Just because I wouldn't eat it..."  
"It's ok. Hanji was telling about one time a pregnant beta came into the ER. Her craving was potting mix. She shovelled it down"  
Levi groaned  
"Really?"  
"Yep. She said it just like that, then she told me it was true and the bacteria in the soil made her super sick. The beta that is... I don't think I could do it"  
"If you start eating dirt, I promise to stop you"  
The idea of Eren eating dirt revolted him from the very depths of his being. Tracking in mud from work was bad enough. He didn't think their relationship would survive if Eren started eating dirt  
"Thanks. Can I have a Coke?"  
"Sure. I got you options"  
"Vanilla's out. Have I tried cherry?"  
"Not that I know of. Want me to open it?"  
"I can open my own drink"  
"Ok, I was just asking"  
Handing over the bottle, Eren opened it with an exaggerated grunt. Message received.

It was close to midnight when Mike came and evicted him. Eren had fallen asleep almost straight after dinner, so Levi had spent his time uncomfortably half laying on the bed, half sitting in the stiff visitors chair. Holding his hand, Eren was adorable. He didn't want to move in fear of waking his mate. His blood pressure was down from when he'd come in, and he wasn't showing signs of pain or distress. Promising to call of Eren's condition changed, Levi was forced to return home for the night. Unfortunately Mike wasn't scared of him enough to let him stay. It didn't feel right to come home without Eren...

 

*  
Levi couldn't help himself as he fluffed over Eren. He'd had a heavier bleed that night, which no one told him about until he'd stopped by to check on Eren in the morning. Mike had monitored him closely, while an ultrasound showed that due to the decreasing inflammation of Eren's ovary, a previously hidden small bleed was in fact present. Which had meant a small surgery for his mate and another overnight stay. Eren was now on bed rest for the next week, while Levi couldn't even get time off work to be there with his omega during the day. The hospital had told him to rest, but Levi knew if he didn't make it sound slightly worse than it was, his boyfriend would be up and moving around the moment he felt better. So, home together, he couldn't help but chase around after his boyfriend, scared that another bleed may occur. Once again, his omega had surprised him with his attitude, not one tear had been shed in fear, though he has apologised for the bleed like it was actually his fault. His love had come through the procedure just fine, and while on antibiotics as more of a precaution than anything, he hadn't seemed to be in too much pain or discomfort. No. The only real pain and discomfort for the pair of them had been when Hanji came over and started asking a million questions about the nursery. He fully intended to have it done by the time left for his training, it was just a sore point because Eren didn't want to wait. He wanted to be in there painting, and instead, Levi had him watching movies. Even banning his study books for the next week in an attempt to get Eren resting more.

It felt like a blink of an eye. Before he knew it, it was the day of Eren's 28 week ultrasound and they were now discussing options for his birth. Eren wanted a natural birth if possible, but with the extra fluid being such a concern, an c-section was organised for the end of December, on the off chance the fluid hadn't caused an early delivery. Given he was born in Christmas Day, he hoped his pup wouldn't be. Years of combined presents and jokes had taught him that being born in such a day wasn't all it was cracked up to be. If it was up to him, he'd have booked Eren for the start of December instead. That way there would still be time to celebrate the pup's birth, before the Christmas festivities. The thought that in two months he could be holding his pup blew his mind. Nothing had quite gone to plan since Eren came home. There'd been so many things he would have liked to have done, like throwing Eren a proper 21st. But it was way too late for that now. As for Eren's tender breasts, his constant exposure to Anna over the past few days had caused Eren to lactate. His omega mortified when he found himself leaking through his bra and shirt... Levi found it erotic. He'd shocked himself by doing so. The small beads leaking from Eren's nipples were kind of hypnotising, and did all kinds of things for his pervert of an alpha. He wanted to sit Eren in his lap, knot the fuck out of him, then feed from his breasts. Or, he did in his dreams. He'd come so hard in his sleep, that when he'd woken, he found his underwear had been plastered to his nether regions. His dick swollen and heavy with a knot, from a fucking dream. With the smoulders of arousal remaining in the depth of his belly all day. He honestly felt like he was losing his shit.

After Eren's appointment, was their appointments with Krista. Still confused over being told that he may not get his wish for a natural birth, Eren had chewed his lip bloody during the drive between clinic. Krista immediately picking up his subdued body language as she lead him through. Being separated from Eren gave him plenty of time for his own nerves to flare over his appointment. He didn't know what to tell Krista. He didn't know how to even begin. He still hadn't told Eren everything, and Eren was his mate. He was half tempted to call the whole thing off. He definitely still wasn't ready when Krista returned with Eren. Heading to meet his brat, he'd gone to kiss his cheek, but had ended up half head butting him. Shit. He really needed to get it together.

Sitting across from Krista, Krista was waiting for him to speak. Talking about Eren had been fine. The first few minutes had been easy as she fondly told him he did well. That. He could do that. He could about Eren and then some. But him... she'd told him to just start when he was ready, and now they'd been staring at each other for a small eternity. Fuck. Scrubbing his face with his hands, the alpha nearly laughed at his own patheticness  
"Levi, are you ok?"  
"Yeah. I have a whole new appreciation for how hard this is"  
"I know I said you should start when ready, but would you prefer I guided our session?"  
"I suppose. You're the expert here"  
Krista laughed lightly  
"I suppose I am. Alright. How about you tell me how you feel about Eren?"  
"I love him"  
Krista nodded with a wide smile  
"See, this isn't so bad. How did you two meet?"  
Krista knew how they met...  
"He fell off the dance stage while working as a stripper. He's still got the scar from landing on glass"  
"And how do you feel about being a father?"  
"Terrified"  
"Most parents to be are. Are you scared of children?"  
"No. Not really. I mean. Through work, you learn how to deal with brats"  
"So you're looking forward to it?"  
"Yeah... yeah, I suppose I am. I didn't think it would happen"  
"You didn't think you'd be a father?"  
"No"  
"And what about your father? What was your relationship with him like?"  
"I didn't know him"  
"How about your mum?"  
"I don't remember much of her. Only that I loved her"  
"So you love Eren and your pup. Do you fear losing them?"  
"More than anything. They're the only family I have"  
"What about your friends? Any of them like family?"  
"There used to be, but they died. Eren's all I have no. Him and the pup"  
How the fuck was she getting him to talk?! She'd pulled some kind of Jedi mind reading bullshit or something  
"I'm sorry to hear that... Can I ask what happened?"  
"There was a car accident. The car rolled. I don't want to talk about it"  
"You don't want to talk about it?"  
"Not really"  
"Levi, I can see this is obviously painful for you. But can I ask you, what do you hope to get out these sessions?"  
"I... want to be a better alpha for Eren"  
"I think you're a wonderful alpha for him. He adores you, and I know how much in love you both are"  
"Why do I feel like there's a "but" coming?"  
"Because you need to want this for yourself. Not just Eren and the pup. If you didn't think everything was alright, you wouldn't have booked an appointment"  
Levi snorted, finally sinking back into the plush sofa  
"I have no idea how the fuck you do that... Even with Eren. I have no idea how you get him to open up so easily"  
"That's simple. He knows whatever he says stays in this room. This room is a safe place for all my clients. Nothing in here goes beyond us. I can't force you talk, but I can promise that no matter what you say, it doesn't go further. Being a paramedic, you must have seen some pretty horrible things?"  
"You have no idea"  
"Then why don't you tell me?"  
"Because we'd never get out of here if I did"  
"Then why don't you tell me about the real reason you're here? You strike me as a strong and confident man, but in my experience, they're the ones who's are struggling the most"  
Levi sighed. Fuck, Krista was good. There was no point trying to be anyone other than who he was. Especially when she'd seen how he was with Eren  
"I lost... my friends. And I guess with Eren being pregnant, I'm scared of losing him too. It's made me realise that I never really got over any of it"  
Krista nodded, noting something down. Levi couldn't help but be annoyed that he didn't know what it is  
"You fear being alone?"  
"I never used to"  
"You never used to, or you were too afraid to let anyone in?"  
Levi let out a measured breath. Closing his eyes, taking a deep breath, releasing it, then opening his eyes again  
"B-both"  
"And you said you had no idea what to say. That's an excellent start"  
"I feel like a shitty idiot"  
"Is Eren a shitty idiot?"  
Levi growled, Krista didn't seem phased at all  
"No. Why would you even say that?"  
"Because Eren visits me. He sits in the same spot you are. If he's not an idiot, what makes you one?"  
Touché  
"I see what you did there"  
"That was the whole point. You're not an idiot. You're actually one of the most down to Earth alphas I've met"  
"That doesn't give me much faith in humanity"  
"I suppose not"  
Levi huffed, feeling slightly insulted while Krista giggled  
"Sorry. I couldn't help it"  
"I get the feeling that you really aren't"  
"Nope"  
Levi found the tips of his lips turning upward into something that dangerously resembled a smile  
"Eren would love this. He'd be sitting here laughing"  
"He's very proud of you. Does he tell you that?"  
"More than you know. I don't even know what the big deal is"  
"You must be doing something right, for him to be so proud"  
"I'm just doing what I can. I never thought I'd have an omega of my own. Never mind someone like him. He's been through so much shit. His mum. His dad. Zeke. Fucking Reiner and Bertholdt. But he still manages to keep going... I feel like I'm the one stuck in the fucking past"  
"Have you told him that?"  
"Not in those words"  
"Maybe you should?"  
"No. I couldn't do that to him. Right now, he's worried enough about his guilt over being pregnant"  
"And he's worried for you"  
"You just said he was proud"  
"He is, but also worried. He knows you're hurting. There are some things you just need to say out loud or people will never understand"  
"I'm supposed to be the alpha"  
"Does that mean Eren isn't as good as you are?"  
"What? No. He's better than I am"  
"Then if you see him as your equal, shouldn't you talk to him?"  
"I don't want to stress him out"  
"Then do you really see him as your equal"  
Levi hated how muddled his head felt. It was like Krista has walked into his mind and started throwing things everywhere  
"I... I don't want to weigh him down. I don't want him to feel trapped... and I sure as fuck don't want to lose him"  
"There's a difference between weighing someone down, and shackling them to you"  
"I know that... When I first met him, no one seemed to get it. He was suffering. He'd been mentally abused and he had no idea. Deciding to be with him wasn't easy. I wanted to be with him, but I also knew he needed time. He's been under someone's thumb his whole fucking life. I wanted him to have a life of his own. Sometimes, I can't help but wonder if I've done the right thing. Or if I've chained him down again because I can't live without him... and I don't want to be alone or something like that"  
"Levi. This is going to sound blunt. It's clear you have abandonment issues as well as dependency issues, but I wouldn't say the love you and Eren share is unhealthy. You take every caution to make sure he's happy and safe. If you truly were controlling him, or forcing him into situations he didn't like, you wouldn't do things like asking him for his opinion or asking for his consent each time you have sex. The fact you ask him, it means so much to him. And I'm not supposed to say that. Right. I'm going to give you some homework"  
"Homework..."  
"Yep. Over the next few weeks, I want you make a list for me"  
"A list?"  
"Of 15 things you want to do in the future. I know you're going to write down things involving Eren, so I'm going to ask you write 10 things you want to do for your self and 5 things you want to do with Eren in the future"  
"A list"  
"Yep. Don't worry, it's something I have all my new clients do. Do you think you can manage that?"  
Levi held back his sarcasm  
"Sure"  
"Excellent. The first step is always the hardest. It's like misjudging that last step, and falling with a lurch, but then your feet hit the floor and you keep going"  
"And that's it?"  
"For today. Now we should get you back to Eren"  
"He's probably on his phone"  
"And he's probably worried about you"  
Levi snorted as he forced himself to stand. He didn't feel like he'd even said anything useful  
"He does that. You should see him in the morning when thinks I'm going to be late to work. He gets so angry"  
"And you love it"  
"I do. I've never met an omega like him"

Eren pushed himself out his chair as Levi walked back into the waiting room. Krista letting her receptionist know to rebook both of them for three weeks time. Coming to his side, his mate wrapped his arm around his waist and kissed his shoulder  
"What was that for?"  
"Because I felt like it"  
Paying for their appointments, Levi took the receipt with their next appointment dates written on the bottom. Saying bye to the receptionist as Eren started towards the door  
"You're not going to ask how it went?"  
"Nope. When you're ready, you'll tell me"  
"And if I never do?"  
"I'll still love you all the same"  
He didn't deserve Eren. He really didn't  
"What am I going to do with you?"  
"Love me. Tolerate me and my moods. Cuddle me and rub my belly. The possibilities are endless"  
When Eren said it like that, they really were. He already knew the first thing on his list to Krista. He was going to marry the absolute fuck out of Eren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With a random photo of sumomo included.
> 
> I did take a few small liberties with the cyst, but based the pain and discharge on my own experiences. Though I didn't go to hospital... I was lucky enough not to need to


	54. Chapter 54

Feeling sluggish, Eren hadn't slept well. The aching in his chest was almost as bad as the aching in his bladder. This peeing thing fucking sucked. He knew every time he climbed out of bed, Levi would wake, and felt horrible for disturbing his sleep. He couldn't sleep on the sofa, nor could he sleep in his own room. Levi had helped him make a nest for him, and now Eren didn't want to go near it. It was so inviting and cosy, that he feared he'd climb into it and not want to leave. So he was forced to live with him omega not so subtly reminding him that it was there. Levi had wanted to set it up in their bed, but he knew if they did that, his alpha would struggle with his need for cleanliness. Levi wouldn't be able to tolerate the dirty clothes of the nest, or the fact he'd stolen a pair of Levi's dirty underwear for the base of his nest near where he'd sleep. Never in his life had he felt so touch starved as he did in the fortnight following the rupture of his cyst, but for the sake of his body, he'd "forced" himself to "endure". He'd known about his haemorrhoids, and after a good hour of trying to look up just what they were on Google, it was hard not to be embarrassed by them. That and sick stomach his antibiotics had given him. Levi loved his arse, and they fact they were there had left him feeling super flat. His body ached. His breasts leaked. He leaked. His stomach was huge and he always had to pee. He spent his time half aroused and half feeling as sexy as a bag of potatoes. Levi was there for cuddles, which was nice. He was just struggling with being so big and all the physical changes to his appearance. He'd dreaded each time he'd placed on a kilo, and now he couldn't remember the last time he'd seen his toes. With a long sigh, he flushed the toilet. Waddling over, he washed his hands before heading out to the living room.

"Levi?"  
"Nursery"  
Right. They were supposed to be painting today. His head felt like it was filled with cotton wool, and he couldn't help but yawn widely as he headed into the nursery, where Levi was laying a drop sheet over the floor. His boyfriend had promised that he wouldn't touch the stripes or the birds, still, Eren was nervous. Two more days and Levi would be leaving for his week long training  
"Ready?"  
Nope. He wanted to go back to bed  
"Yeah... let's get this done"  
Pausing, Levi looked to him  
"Eren, if you'd rather not..."  
"I'm sorry. I'm sleepy"  
"I heard you last night"  
"Sorry. Your baby seems to like pushing on my bladder"  
"I like how I get the blame for it"  
"You're the one who put him in me"  
"I know. I was thinking I'd start with the top, while you do the bottom"  
"I don't know if I can bend"  
"Then you can use the roller while I do the cornices"  
"Sure..."

Ugh. Paint stank. His sensitive nose hadn't loved the blue and orange, but the white smelt even worse. Levi had started humming some song, lost in trying to make the paint job perfect. Not knowing the song, Eren was irritated. And irritated that Levi has such a nice voice, even while humming. He'd already done two and half walls like this. They weren't even talking. He didn't feel like talking, but he didn't like the weird humming  
"Levi, can you please stop humming"  
Getting no reply, he defaulted to angry  
"Levi!"  
Levi still in his own world. Lifting his roller off the wall, he turned on his alpha, rolling a stripe from his arse to shoulders. Letting out a cry of surprise, Levi jumped down off the chair he was on as it started to tip, placing down his paint tin with his brush in it  
"Eren! What the fuck?"  
"You wouldn't stop humming"  
"I wasn't humming"  
"You were and you wouldn't stop it"  
"I think I'd know if I was humming"  
"You were"  
"Even if I was, does it really warrant painting me?"  
"Yes"  
"You could have just asked me to stop"  
"I did"  
"I didn't hear you"  
Jabbing Levi with the paint roller, Levi snatched the pole from his hands  
"Stop that"  
"Why? What are you going to do?"  
Turning the roller towards him, his alpha smiled... before jabbing him with it   
"What are you doing!?"  
"Getting revenge"  
"How is that fair?"  
He was fat and pregnant. He couldn't nimbly dodge! As pointed out as Levi rolled the roller over his stomach  
"There! Now get back to work"  
"I can't. I don't have my roller"  
Tilting the pole, Levi rolled the top in the tray of paint before handing it back to him. Silly alpha   
"We'll take a break after this. The room needs to air"  
Climbing back up on the chair, Eren watched and waited until his birds were safe, before rolling the roller over Levi's arse  
"Oi! Quit it!"  
"Never"  
Attacking him again, he managed to get Levi's chest and up his chin before his alpha was again jumping down off the chair, accidentally sending an arc of white splattering down him. Gasping Levi didn't stop, walking towards him with his arms slightly spread like cornering an animal. Eren trying to back up, but there was no where to go  
"Don't do it"  
Flicking the roller, paint flecks flew across the room. Levi's eyes had narrowed, but his smile playful  
"You asked for it"  
"You started it!"  
Pulling the pole from his hands, Levi dropped it to the floor. Raising his hands in surrender, his alpha didn't stop. Grabbing him and wiping paint across him in the process  
"Levi! Stop it!"  
"Nope!"  
Lifting him from behind, Eren wriggled. He might have fired the first blow, but now Levi was winning. Rubbing his chin all over his shoulder, Eren found himself laughing as Levi carried him out the nursery  
"Put me down!"  
"Nope. Naughty brats need to learn their lesson"  
Carrying him right through to the bathroom, Levi finally let him down onto his own two feet  
"We're taking a shower"  
"We are?"  
"We are"

Stripping off his clothes, both sets were ruined. Somehow he was covered with way more paint than he'd noticed, while Levi looked the same. Stepping into the shower, Levi cranked the taps as he started rubbing at Eren's face  
"You're covered"  
"Says the man with white hair"  
Levi growled  
"Every single white hair I have is because of you"  
"You started it"  
"The way I remember it, you started it when you attacked me"  
"You're the one who gave me the roller"  
"Not so you could paint me"  
"But then I could have made you a permanent feature of the nursery"  
"Oh. Was that your plan?"  
"Maybe. That for you to stop humming"  
"I wasn't humming"  
"You were. Besides, I think all this white suits you"  
Reaching out, Eren rubbed at Levi hair, trying to help get the white out. His boyfriend looked ridiculous with white paint dribbling down him  
"If it suits me, why are you washing it out?"  
"Because I know how hard it is to get paint out..."  
"And who's flaunt is that?"  
Twisting slightly sideways, Eren stole a kiss that was slow and languid until he tasted paint. Poking his tongue out, he wrinkled his face  
"That tastes horrible"  
"You're not supposed to eat it"  
"I'd rather eat you"  
Levi raised an eyebrow   
"Is that so?"  
"Maybe. I don't know. I'm sleepy"  
"You can't be that tired. Not if you can start a paint fight"  
"I keep telling you, I didn't start it"  
"Then I must have imagined it"  
"Yep. My poor alpha. He'd gone crazy in his old age"  
"Crazy for you"  
"So you should be"  
Sliding his hands down his face, neck, chest and waist, Levi's hands finally stopped when he reached his arse. His alpha groping firmly  
"Levi..."  
"I'm not doing anything"  
"You're making me horny"  
"I'm just playing with your arse"  
"Which is still off limits"  
"I know. It just feels so good in my hands"  
"My silly alpha. You know what else feels good in your hands?"  
"Mmm, what?"  
"Shampoo as you wash my hair"  
Levi groaned at him, pouting as if he was really mad  
"I know. I'm terrible"  
"You're not. I'm only joking"  
"I know you are. But if you're really good, you can take me to bed after this"  
"Oooh, and then what?"  
"Then we can kiss... and we cuddle"  
Levi nodded  
"I like the sound of that"  
"Then I can sleep off this headache while you clean up the paint you got everywhere"  
"You're a damn tease"  
"It's not my fault your dick burst my cyst"  
"That's very true. It sounds like I should make it up to you"  
"And how are you going to do that?"  
"By giving you the best blow job you've ever had"  
"I don't know. I've got pretty high standards"  
"Then allow me to shatter them for you"  
Kissing a trail down, Levi knelt on the shower floor. His alpha's hands moving to roam across his swell as Levi mouthed at it. Even if he didn't feel sexy, Levi always found a way to make him feel better. He didn't even know he'd wanted a blow job until the words dropped from his mate's lips. Mouthing his way down, Eren mewed as Levi's lips closed around his dick. Their flirtatious banter having already caught the interest of his groin. Shit. Levi was too good at this. 

Having come for his alpha, Eren was sleepy as hell. Levi had kissed his way back up, supporting him as his knees no longer wanted to work. Purring against his alpha, he surrendered himself completely into Levi's care. His boyfriend making sure he was paint free, before helping him from the shower over to toilet, so he could catch his breath and apparently pee, while Levi finished up trying to get the paint out of his hair. He really didn't want him to, despite what he'd said, but he also wanted to try and prove to Levi that he could look after himself. Even if it was for only a week. He knew how to cook and clean, and the only unknown variable in everything was his fat stomach. He was sure if he wasn't pregnant, Levi wouldn't have minded so much... then again, the cyst bleed had still been on Levi's mind. It wasn't like they'd even needed to cut him wide open to deal with it. That's what Mike had told him. He'd slept through the whole thing thanks the medical miracle of drugs. Stepping out the shower, Levi grinned at him. His alpha hadn't been that smiley lately thanks to his trip  
"Ready for clean clothes?"  
"I don't know. Are you going to paint me again?"  
"I might"  
"Then no"  
"I don't mind if you want to walk around naked"  
"And I don't mind if you want to walk around with a can of paint on your head"  
"Is that so?"  
"Yep. What are you going to do about it?"  
"Take you back to bed so you can sleep"  
"You just want to paint me while I sleep"  
"Right. Because I want that shit through our bed"  
"I know you do. You're getting lazy. You let me eat in bed last night"  
"You were hungry"  
"There were crumbs"  
Levi sighed   
"Don't remind me. I woke up covered in them"  
"Hey. There weren't that many. I tried to keep it clean"  
"I know. Anyway, time to get you dry"  
"You'll have to carry me. I'm literally too tired to move"  
"Fiiiine"  
Laughing at Levi's whiny tone, his alpha came and lifted him back into his hold. Nuzzling his face affectionately, Levi kissed the side of his lips  
"I love you, brat"  
"I love you too. I'm sorry the smell of paint got to me"  
"It's ok. I'll open the balcony windows and air the apartment out. It can't be good for Titan either"  
"That's true... I love his winter coat. He gets so super fluffy"  
"It's not winter yet"  
"Tell that to the weather"  
"Nah, I'll leave it for you"  
Eren pouted, Levi kissing his cheek as he did. His alpha made it hard to truly be mad at him or to stay mad at him  
"Always pushing the jobs you don't want to do onto me, what is this?"  
"When have I ever done that?"  
"I don't know... I'm too fucking sleepy to know much of anything right now. I think you sucked me brain out my dick"  
"I'll take that as a compliment"  
"Do whatever you want..."  
"I will. Right now, I want to get you warmed back up"  
"No sex..."  
"No, I thought I might do your hair, so you're not sleeping on a wet pillow"  
"My hair?"  
Levi sat him on the edge of their bed, nuzzling and kissing his face  
"Yeah. If you don't mind"  
"Just be careful, my hair's thicker than yours and gets all knotty"  
"I know. I've seen the hair coming out your brush"

Dried and bundled up, Levi knelt on the bed behind him. His boyfriend must have been a hair dresser in a past life. It felt so much nicer than the last time the hairdresser had cut his hair. With gentle fingers he slowly untangled his shoulder length hair. It was so much more practical at shoulder length, and much easier to do up. Sometimes he missed the length, and the days of long plaits, but Levi seemed to like it like this. His alpha would spend hours scratching at his scalp absentmindedly, while Eren was curled with his head in his lap. Though it was rare for Levi to read himself to sleep anymore. Purring like the great big cat he practically was, he tried to headbutt into Levi's touch, wanting more  
"I'm nearly done"  
"Feels good. Want me to do yours?"  
"Nah, I've still got to clean up the nursery. This is for you"  
"Mmm. World's best alpha, right here"  
"Where was this love when you were attacking me with the paint roller?"  
"There was plenty of love, but you wouldn't stop humming"  
"I already told you, I was humming"  
"Next you'll say you've never purred"  
"I haven't"  
"You have too. And giggled. Drunk Levi purrs and giggles"  
"I don't remember this"  
"Probably because you were drunk. It's adorable"  
"You do know I'm a manly alpha"  
"Oh, so a guy can't purr? Is that?"  
"Alpha's don't"  
"You do. It made me really happy to hear it. Your chest gets all rumbly, and my purrs synch up with yours. Feels nice"  
"I don't think I even know how to purr"  
"You're not going to win"  
"I know, but you're so much fun to rile up"  
"I'm glad I have my uses"  
"You have plenty of uses"  
"I'm going to showcase my use as a lump soon"  
"You make a cute lump"  
"This cute lump has to go to the toilet again"  
"I don't know lumps could walk"  
"I'm just amazing like that"  
"I've nearly finished your hair"  
"The rest can dry on its own"  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yeah. Thank you"  
Levi kissed the top of his head as he turned the blow dryer off  
"You're welcome. Do you want me to wait to make dinner after your nap? Or should I wake you up when it's done?"  
"I think we both know I'm going to be back and forth"  
"I'll go ahead and make dinner then"  
"Then we can watch a movie right?"  
"Sure"  
"Good. Gotta have my fill of you before you go"  
"Or I can have my fill of you?"  
Eren groaned  
"One day in going to figure out if you're joking or not"  
Levi dropped another kiss atop his head  
"One day"

 

*  
Eren didn't sleep. He dozed until the smell of dinner made his stomach rumble. Levi had been making sure everything he was eating was super nutritious and everything he needed for their pup, as well as making sure he kept taking his multivitamins. Even the snacks by their bed were healthy. Not that he really ventured into junk food unless he was craving.

Padding through the apartment, Levi was busy cooking still. Wrapping an arm around him, he kissed his mate's cheek as he stole a snow pea from the stir fry Levi was attempting. The cook book propped off to the side. Dropping the stolen pea in his mouth, he hissed at its heat while Levi laughed   
"That's what you get for stealing food"  
"It wasn't supposed to be so hot!"  
"It just came out the pan... hot things on a hot stove top, tend to be hot"  
"Stop laughing"  
Levi tried to school his features  
"I'm sorry. How was your nap? You only got up a couple of times"  
"I dozed. Then smelt food. How long until its ready"  
"A little longer. Why don't you go sit down?"  
"Or I could cuddle you. Did you clean the nursery?"  
"I finished off the walls with the roller. You don't mind, do you?"  
"It honest hurt my back a little, so no"  
"Good. We can do the furniture tomorrow, everything's washed, isn't it?"  
"I took care of it while you were working. And the blankets and you're the one who wanted to put all the screws up for the art before putting the furniture together"  
"I can't do that until the paint is completely dry, and I don't have your flair for decorating"  
"I don't have a flair... if anyone does, it's you. You've gotten so good at cooking"  
"I never really cared about what I was eating before. You gave me a reason to"  
"Are you saying there's something wrong with my diet?"  
"I'm saying I'm planning on hanging around in this world a whole lot longer now I know you're in it"  
Eren blushed. What the hell was he supposed to say in return to that. Kissing his cheek, Levi looked pretty happy with himself   
"If you really want to make yourself useful, you can get us a couple of drinks"  
"Tea?"  
"Would be great" 

Dinner was as good as it'd smelt. Eren eating two bowls without even thinking about it, while Levi talked about the nursery. Every so often, his alpha would shift his weight and his eyes would open ever so slightly wider, leaving the omega wondering if Levi had hurt his back while painting. The thought of his alpha being hurt and him not being able to smell it, didn't sit right with him. He hadn't been there for Levi after the attack, and though it was way too late to ask, he couldn't help but wonder if his alpha had really healed properly. Once done with eating, Eren gathered up the dishes, carrying them into the kitchen while Levi followed  
"I'll take care of them"  
"I was going to put them in the dishwasher, so we could watch the movie before I get sleepy again"  
He didn't want Levi feeling uncomfortable if he was in pain. He wanted his alpha to sit and relax, and he wanted to snuggle into his side  
"Alright. Do you want me to heat up the popcorn?"  
"Not yet. I'm still recovering from dinner"  
"Ok, I guess I'll organise the movie. Is there anything in particular you want to watch?"  
"No, I'll leave that to you"  
Giving him a quick kiss, Levi headed off to the sofa while Eren retrieved the soaking dishes out the sink, and stacked the dishwasher. His heartburn didn't love it, but it was all so Levi wasn't pushing himself. Besides, it only took a for minutes before the wash started and he was flicking off the living area light as he joined his alpha on the sofa. Snagging his green blanket, he pulled it into his lap as his stomach gurgled  
"Everything ok?"  
"Mhmm. I'm just full. Dinner was so good"  
"Do you want me to make some meals before I go?"  
"No. It's ok. It'll give me something to do while I'm missing you"  
He was just about comfortable, then the need to pee hit. Climbing up with a groan, he sighed to himself   
"Everything, ok?"  
"You just asked me that"  
"And now you're making an escape"  
"To pee. I'll be like 2 minutes"  
"I did wonder when you sat down"  
"Then you should have reminded me..."

Done with the bathroom, Eren snuggled back into Levi. His stomach still gurgling as he rubbed his cheek against Levi's shoulder, until his mate wrapped his arm around him. Clicking play, the movie started... and Eren promptly found himself zoning out. Levi was so soft and warm. He couldn't help but turn all his attention to his alpha's reactions. He loved Levi. He loved everything about him. He loved the way he's grumble about the dusty and abandoned house in movies, like he actually wanted to be there cleaning them. And he loved the way he pointed out all the flaws of the main characters. Staring up at him, he watched the smile on Levi's lips. Catching him staring, Levi looked down at him affectionately  
"I thought you wanted to watch the movie?"  
"I did. I was just thinking about how much I love you"  
"Really, now?"  
"Yep"  
Popping the "p", Levi sighed  
"What am I going to do with you, my shitty brat?"  
"Kiss me?"  
Leaning sideways to oblige, his alpha slid his hand across his swell, Eren gasping slightly as he moved it up to cup his left breast through his bra. Groping him firmly, Eren whined into the touch. He'd never known he could be such a slut. He never knew he could feel the need for sex so strongly... especially not when no one else ever made him feel this way. Starting to slick, he whimpered. Levi immediately breaking the kiss to look at him in concern   
"Brat?"  
"I'm ok... I just don't feel like sex... My, uh, arse and back are still sore"  
"Do you trust me?"  
"I always trust you"  
"Good, I have something else I want to try, but not if it's going to make you uncomfortable"  
Maybe Levi was going to fuck between his breasts again? With his milk coming in, they felt so much heavier  
"You can say no"  
"Just... just as long as it won't hurt"  
"I don't want to hurt you. And if it's too overwhelming we'll stop right away"  
"I... feel like you're seeing such a dirty side of me. Since I fell pregnant... I never knew how much I could want sex and I feel like I'm becoming someone else"  
"Eren, do you know why an omega's sex drive shoots right up? Especially a males?"  
"I think I'm supposed to"  
"When an omega falls pregnant, the pheromones and need for sex is to keep their alpha by their side. To tell them that their pregnant, with their pup and not to hurt them. Knotting helps to soothe the omega, by creating a connection. You know the one I mean. The happiness and affection that floods us both when I knot you. You're not a slut, it's your biology. Your hormones also go completely out of control, having your alpha here soothes that too. That's why you feel like you want sex so often. For male omegas, the weight of the expanding womb presses against your prostate, constantly causing stimulation. In a lot of ways, your pheromones are similar to that of you being in heat, only they last for the whole pregnancy so your alpha won't raise their hand to hurt you or the pup. It's not always the case. There are alphas that ignore that. To me, sex with you is more than our dynamics. It's you and me, connecting. I love watching you and knowing I'm the one you love. The one who sees you like this. I love the way you moan. The way all your toes apart from your big toes curl when you come. The way you lick your lips and the way you accept me completely..."  
Nuzzling his cheek, Levi's breath was warm across his skin. Goosebumps forming as his mate's hand slipped into his bra to tease his nipple  
"Love you, Lee... you could do anything to me and it wouldn't be enough"

Growling, Levi climbed into his lap. The alpha stripping him off his shirt and bra before his mind could keep up. Mouthing as his neck, Eren mewed at the fresh hickies being sucked into existence. It felt so fucking good to be marked as Levi's. Sliding his hands, Eren gripped Levi's arse. His boyfriend might love his, but fuck. Levi had a damn fine arse. Holding him as close as his stomach allowed, he growled his disappointment as Levi's lips moved to his collar bone. Whatever his boyfriend had planned, he wanted it now. His trapped erection was already throbbing in interest, while his heart was racing. Pausing only briefly to mark his collarbone, Levi's lips travelled down, finally moving to take his right nipple in his mouth. Biting the bud softly, Levi pulled enough to make him his, before beginning to suck. Bucking his hips, Eren groaned. Levi applying himself whole heartedly, as his alpha abandoned his left breast in order to shed his pants. His weight disappearing from Eren's lap for far too long in his opinion... even if it was just a few moment. Grinding against him, Levi sucked harder, small beads of milk starting to leak from his left breast. Growling, Levi turned his attention to it, the alpha rocking harder as his milk started to flow, his abandoned right breast leaking as freely as his left. A string of "oh god"s fell from his lips as he welcomed the sensation. They'd been so heavy, and he hadn't known how to deal with alone. With a roll of his own hips, Levi gasped, his lips leaving Eren's nipple  
"I want you"  
Eren nodded quickly, slouching on the sofa so Levi could wrestle off his sweats and underwear. Instead of mounting him, he was confused as Levi reapplied himself to his breast, his eyes then widened as Levi slipped a hand behind him. Growling around his nipple, Levi pulled a very familiar butt plug free  
"Sh-shit..."  
Sensing his fear, Levi stopped immediately. Setting the plug down on the table as if he wasn't going to go crazy scrubbing it down once they were done   
"I want you"  
"I... I don't know what to do"  
"It's ok... this about me making you feel good"  
"I've never..."  
"I'll do all the work. Eren, you're my partner. My equal. I want to feel you inside me"  
"But I don't know what to do. What. What if I suck?"  
"It's ok. I know it's new to you. But I'll take control. Just like how you love climbing on top of me and fucking yourself on my dick, I want to do the same to you. I want to ride you until you fill me"  
Was an alpha supposed to talk like this? Because it was definitely doing all sorts of things to him. His gut felt like butterflies had exploded into existence, while the fact Levi wanted him like that made him feel powerful. Nodding, Levi surged forward to capture his lips. His stomach once again slightly squashed so his boyfriend could push right up against him. Fuck... 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck... the word repeated in his brain as Levi slowly sank down on his erection. His alpha panting as he spread his knees wide, exposing all of himself for him... only Eren's stomach was in the way. Sinking down completely, the heat and warmth gripped his dick hungrily, as if Levi's arse was trying to draw him deeper  
"Fuck, brat. You feel so fucking good"  
"Y-you're so tight"  
"Mhmm... and you feel just right"  
Letting his head loll back, Levi bared his throat to him. His hands holding his alpha's arse, while a growl rose from the very base of being. This was his fucking alpha! No one else's! And if anyone was to ever hurt him, he'd fucking tear them to shreds  
"I'm going to start moving"  
Sitting back up, Levi rolled his hips, lifting himself and sinking back down. Eren swore his eyes rolled back with pleasure. Cupping his face with his left hand, Levi didn't shy away from riding him. The sounds coming from mate were pure filth  
"Shit... fuck..."  
That pretty much summed up Eren's feelings. He felt empty inside from not having Levi buried in him, but this was... this felt good. Sliding his hand down, Levi's thumb pushed into his mouth. Sucking on the digit, his alpha let out a trill. The way Levi clenched down and rippled around him, he knew his mate was close. Snarling, he sloppily began to rock back the best he could. His own orgasm building  
"Fuck. Fuck. Eren..."  
Coming over the underside of his belly, Eren relished the fact he was fucking Levi through his orgasm. He could feel small bursts of cum with each thrust, driving him on until his own orgasm hit. Letting out a deep groan, his dick pulsed in time with the ripples of Levi's arse. He wondered briefly if this was how it felt for alphas. If it felt like it did for him, it was like Levi was trying to drain every last drop of come from his body. With stuttering hips, he spent himself completely inside his love. Levi moving to capture his lips the moment his movements become small spasming thrusts. Sharing several long kisses, Levi collapsed up his stomach to start peppering kisses to his chest, while his left hand moved to his swell. His movements solid and reassuring as he rubbed harder. Feeling tears welling up, his love for Levi was overwhelming. Holding him tightly, he buried his face in Levi's hair as his tears flowed.

"Eren, are you ok?"  
"I love you!"  
He practically wailed it. Levi felt so very small in his hold, his omega gently nudging the edges of his brain to remind him that Levi was just as human as he was  
"I love you, Eren"  
His mate had taken him in, back when he didn't even know he was being used by his brother. Bit by bit, Levi had accepted him. He'd taken the good and the bad. He'd stayed for every single time they fought, and held him when everything was too much. Like the birds he used to watch flying so free, he felt free when Levi was by his side. Through all of it, Levi had been his reason to keep going. To make it through all this shit life kept throwing at him. He did all that and still loved him... despite how deeply flawed he truly was. Levi was the first person who saw through his carefully crafted mask. Who'd seen how he struggled to keep finding meaning to live. This flawed man was his salvation  
"Levi..."  
"Yeah?"  
"I wanna marry you"  
"I want to marry you too"  
"No... I'm asking you. Will you marry me?"  
The way Levi shot up in his lap startled him, but before he could reply, Levi's lips were against his again. Nodding into the kiss, Eren's already racing heart felt like it was going to burst. He was half shocked he'd uttered the words out loud. Given how many times he'd thought about them. And the fact Levi hadn't proposed, despite having the ring right there in the bedroom. Breaking the kiss, both his alpha's hands came to cup his face, as the man laughed   
"Yes. Yes, Eren. I want to marry the ever living shit out of you. I never thought you'd be the one to ask"  
"I..."  
Eren let out a laugh of his own  
"Neither did I. But I mean it. I love you, Levi. I want to spend every single moment as your partner. I want to grow old with you. Like those couples when you can't even tell them apart. I want to have a family with you, and I know I'm... I'm going to have my good days and my bad days and days you'll probably want to yell at me. But I know every time I reach out my hand, you'll be there. You're the single most caring and loving person I've ever met. Even when you're scowling, or glaring. I see you"  
Levi eyes filled with tears, despite the smile on his face. Shifting to press his forehead to Eren's, Levi let out a soft sigh   
"That's one hell of a proposal"  
"I'm one hell of an omega"  
"You are. I'm going to marry you so hard, you won't known what to do with yourself"  
"As long as you wait until the pup's been born. I don't want to be farting during the ceremony, then dying from indigestion during the wedding night"  
Levi laughed, nodding as he stole a kiss  
"Only you could say that"  
"Yep. Don't even get me started on the haemorrhoids, or the having to pee all the..."  
This time Levi kissed him to silence him. Letting himself enjoy the kiss, he patiently waited until the kiss broke  
"... time. Or the swollen joints"  
Growling playfully, Levi's smile only grew wider  
"How I get lucky enough to have you?"  
"I believe Hanji dragged you into the strip club I was working at? You were there, looking constipated as I danced... kind of like you do now"  
"And you were wearing angel wings, before gracelessly being pulled off stage"  
"Yep. And you rescued me. Then you've been rescuing me ever since"  
"What can I say? Those shorts and that arse"  
Eren giggled  
"And now I'm swollen with your pup"  
"Damn right you are... you look so fucking good like that..."  
"Mmm. I think you look pretty good like this. My dick up your arse as rub my pregnant stomach. It's sexy as fuck"  
"Only for you"  
"I know... it make me want you to turn me over and return the favour"  
"I think I can do that"

Sliding off his lap, Levi lifted him off the sofa. Carrying him through to the bathroom, Levi stood him down in front of the bathroom mirror. His neck was impressive mess of hickies, as Levi grabbed his hips   
"Here?"  
"I want to watch myself fucking my fiancée"  
A shiver of excitement ran through him  
"I like the sound of that"  
"Fiancée?"  
"Mhmm... your fiancée"  
"Good"  
Lining himself up, Levi pushed into his heat. Thanks to how wet he was, and the fact his pants had fallen to his ankles when Levi stood him up, they were connected within seconds. The pain and discomfort, as well as haemorrhoids, forgotten at the feel of Levi's dick dragging inside of him. Holding the end of the counter, Levi slammed into him, his alpha riding him hard enough to force him onto the balls of his feet. It was just what needed. To be completely dominated by his fiancée, and to fall apart in his hold. Meeting Levi's eyes in the mirror, his mate's brutal pace increased, Eren forced to pry his fingers off the counter with his left hand, so he could support his bouncing belly. Only Levi could ever make him feel this good  
"Lee... gonna come..."  
Releasing his left hip, Levi took his dick in his hand, using his arm to help his stomach as he jerked him off. Coming hard with a gasp, Levi knotted him mid orgasm. Leaving them both gasping messes. Limply, he let Levi pull him over to the toilet to sit. Too loved up and high on sex to care if he was heavy  
"Eren. Love me more. Love me so much that you won't ever leave me"  
It was awkward to turn in his mate's hold, but despite the high they were on, Levi sounded so pained  
"I won't. I promise you on our pup that I won't"  
Nodding against him, Levi hid his face  
"And I promise to never let you fall. And to never let you feel alone. I will reach out my hand every single time"  
"There's no one else I'd rather have there to save me, and if the time comes that you ever need saving, I will be there"  
"Brat. You already saved me, more than you can ever know"  
Eren giggled, these sounded more like wedding vows than the words spoken between lovers who'd just gotten engaged. Every bit of shittiness he'd been feeling had just vanished the moment Levi said yes  
"We saved each other"  
"Yeah. I like the sound of that"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suppose I better start writing the next chapter...


	55. Chapter 55

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking maybe like 5 more chapters?!

Eren was an omega with a dilemma or seven. He had the most perfect nursery and a burning need to nest on the soft plush rug in there. Thanks to Levi's daily need to clean, he'd had to "smuggle" out Levi's dirty clothes from the bathroom, only for his alpha to notice as he was packing to leave and wanted to pack half the things now squirrel away in his nest. The problem was that he didn't have enough clothes to split between his current nest of perfection and the nursery. They couldn't leave the door open without Titan climbing into the cot and claiming it for himself as he'd done the moment he could, but the room didn't have enough of their scents. He didn't mind Titan in the nursery, as everything was neatly packed away. They were still yet to get soft toys for the pup, so between the rug and the cot, he could live with a little fur... he just didn't want Titan peeing in there... and if he nested on the floor, there was the struggle to get back up. But it looked so inviting to nest in... and his current nest felt amazing. His pillow was covered with one of Levi's shirt, while a dirty towel covered in Levi's cum was helping with his other urges. Not that he was touching himself, it was more the need for the scent of his fiancée wanting him. He'd asked Levi for something dirty, not expecting his mate to jerk off while he slept and to leave such a present in his nest. That was another issue. He didn't want the nursery smelling of sex. He wanted to keep all thoughts of sex outside of it. It was almost a sacred space for the omega. Their child was innocent and he wanted to persevere that innocent for as long as possible. He'd already decided no dating until his pup was at least 30, and even then, they had to get past Levi first.

His third dilemma was that he was looking forward to proving to Levi that he was alright alone. His alpha worried too much, and that was just during his 12 hour shifts. He'd napped after his alpha left, the started prepping meals for the next week, to send to Levi, quietly proud that his alpha was going to be attending such important training. 7 days alone would have been perfect, but Hanji had come to check on him on his first night alone... with enough clothes for and Anna to stay the whole time Levi was away. Titan wasn't as fond of the little girl as he was. She was starting to crawl... and the object over her attention was the fat tom... and if it wasn't Anna chasing Titan, it was Hanji. The only time Titan got any relief was by hiding in his nest. Hanji had chased him in there while Eren was trying to nap. The woman going to retrieve him out the nest, only for Eren to yell at her. It was his nest, and Levi had explained that it was his right to choose who entered. Hanji definitely didn't have his permission to. It'd taken hours for her smell to stop bugging him as it was.

His forth dilemma was the worst. Ever since Levi had left, the weather had been shit. Storming non-stop. Storms weren't so bad with Levi there, nor too bad when he become one with his nest. The only issue was the fact he had to pee... and the lights kept flickering out... and his anxieties shot sky high... and Hanji was there to witness it all... He'd thought his week alone would be easy, but life had other plans... as he counted down the minutes until his fiancée came home. 

 

*  
Having decided to keep their engagement to themselves, they'd stayed locked up in the bubble of bliss right up to the moment Levi had to leave. The alpha calling in sick to work, so he could spend every moment with Eren. Every time they whispered "fiancée" to each other, Eren would giggle and kiss him. His happy smile and constant purring was adorable, while Levi was just as bad. He couldn't keep his hands off his beautiful fiancée, only leaving Eren alone while he slept, so he could get some much needed rest on the off chance his omega's nightmares returned in his absence. This had made assembling the nursery hard, every time Eren was out of his reach, he was reaching for him, pulling him back against him so he could nuzzle and breathe in his scent. But once the nursery was done, he felt a rush of pride. Everything had come together perfectly, Eren having accepted the handprints had been painted over, yet still the cot was still positioned beneath them. Eren was in tears from it all, crying into the crook of his neck as he thanked him. Levi didn't know what he was being thanked for, Eren was the one doing all the hard work of carrying their pup. Things couldn't get any more perfect. He had the most amazing omega in the world for a fiancée and mate, who was carrying their big and healthy pup... and by the end of the year, they'd both be parents.

Eren had stayed at home, while Erwin picked up him. The moment he left the apartment, he felt like all of this was a huge mistake. His face settling into a fierce scowl that stayed there for days. Mitras was all a scam. The place recognised for its historical significance, leading to the capital city of the island being an ugly mix of old and new. The rich arses that called the place home were completely out of touch with reality, the kind of people to call emergency services if they had the wrong spoon for their snails... or whatever you use to eat snails with. Levi still couldn't stomach the idea of eating snails, especially when it could be lethal due to the parasites they carried. Rich people were definitely in world of their own... yet some how, he still found himself wishing he could have brought Eren with him. His fiancée would go crazy for all the old cobbled alleyways, and fancy manor houses. Instead, he was stuck sharing a tiny room with Erwin and his eyebrows. There wasn't even anywhere he could escape for privacy. The bathroom wasn't sound proof, which he'd learned the hard way when they'd arrived. The balcony was much the same. He'd called Eren to let him know they'd gotten to the hotel safely, happy to hear his mate's sleepy voice as he complained about how big and empty their bed was. Telling Eren he loved him, he walked right out to Erwin "oooohing" and laughing over their conversation. So, now if he wanted to talk to his mate, he had to head all the way down to first floor, safe from Erwin's prying. And the only time he got to call Eren was in the middle of the night. They could text during the day, but he really didn't seem that happy being with Hanji. He'd asked her to check in, not to fucking move in. He wanted his fiancée happy and relaxed, waiting for him to come home with a smile on his face and a warm cuddle.

Having showered for the evening, Levi checked his phone. He'd messaged Eren earlier to ask how was feeling. Smiling at Eren's name on his screen, he opened the message to find a screenshot of a raw stuffed turkey. The message under it reading "I found myself on the google". Laughing to himself, he sank down on his bed. Erwin was busy out on the balcony, the smell of cigarettes wafting into the room. Fuck it. He really wanted to hear his fiancées voice. They were training for rescues in extreme situations, and had spent the day fucking abseiling, something he was sure wasn't supposed to be in their job description. He was a fucking paramedic, not a firefighter. Tapping on his screen, he sighed to himself as he raised his phone to his ear. All he wanted was to be home, but there were three fucking days of this shit left   
"Levi?"  
Eren sounded confused, but the breathy way he said his name sent his heart racing  
"Hey, you. So, you're a turkey now?"  
"I feel stuffed... and if you think about it, the roasting pan is kind of like a nest"  
Levi let out a soft laugh  
"That's true, but I think I prefer you being you. How was your day?"  
"Ugh... it was... yeah"  
"Did something happen?"  
"It's just chaos. Titan's scared of Anna. Anna wants to pat the kitty. Hanji wants to pat the kitty. The only time I get some peace is when I'm in my nest, and Hanji even tried to get Titan out of it"  
Levi growled. Hanji had no fucking right   
"It's ok. I yelled at her for it. But fuck, I miss you"  
"How's your anxiety been?"  
"It's been storming here. The lights keep going off... so not great, but then I remind myself you'll be home soon"  
"Do you want me to talk to Hanji?"  
"No... No, it's ok. It's nice spending time with Anna. She loves baths almost as much as she loves Titan"  
"Should I ask how dirty the apartment is?"  
"No. Let's just say, there are crumbs over the sofa, and recliner, and every surface there could be... no matter how much I clean. But I can only clean at night, and by then I just want you and sleep"  
Fucking shitty Hanji!  
"3 more days, and I'll be home"  
"I know... I miss you so much. My nest feels so good, but it'd feel even better with you"  
"When I get home, I can show you just how good it feels with me there"  
"Mmm. I like the sound of that. My sexy fiancée showing me just how much he's missed me"  
"You have no idea..."  
"From that present you left, I have a pretty good idea... I have my face up against it right now"  
It was equal parts hot, and equal parts revolting to think Eren had a jizz covered towel to his face  
"Has it helped?"  
"It reminds me of the night I proposed to you... you in my lap, suckling on my breasts. They feel so heavy"  
Levi groaned, his hand slipping beneath his towel before remembering Erwin was out on the balcony. Fucking cock-blocked by bushy brows  
"Brat..."  
His voice a gentle growl  
"Every time Anna cries for food, they start to leak..."  
"Fuck, brat. You should send me a photo"  
"Maybe... it depends"  
"On what?"  
"If you'll stay on the phone with me until I fall asleep?"  
"You know you don't have to ask"  
"It's still early, but I've been so sleepy"  
"You're not sleeping?"  
"Not very well. Not without. I keep locking my door, then I have to struggle out of bed to pee..."  
He wasn't getting it. It was a simple lock  
"You need to get up that frequently?"  
Eren softly mumbled  
"I... I had a really bad nightmare and my screaming scared Anna. I have to block the gap under the door. I'm scared of upsetting her again"  
"Eren, you need your rest"  
"I know. But like I said, it's ok if I tell myself you're coming home soon"  
"Do you want to talk about you nightmare?"  
"It wasn't great"  
"I know. You've never had great ones"  
"Levi, the happy ones are called dreams"  
"You know what I mean"  
"I do... it's just the rain. Instead of me being in that basement, it's our pup. He's crying and crying, but I can't get out my chains. Then when you show up, they hurt you. I know it can't happen. I know it's just a dream, but if anything ever happened to you... or our pup. I don't want to think about it"  
"I'm sorry I'm not there"  
"No. You're where you should be... hang on, I'll be right back"

In the time it took for Eren to return, Levi finally got dressed. Crawling under the stiff and over starched sheets, he placed his phone on his pillow and listened to the background noises of the apartment. Eren's return following a few curse words and a long groan  
"Brat, everything ok?"  
"Yeah. Titan ran under my feet. I think he knows I'm talking to his daddy"  
"Just a few more days and I'll be home"  
"I know. I tell him every morning that you miss him, and that Anna isn't staying forever"  
"With all that running, I'm going to have to stop calling him fat"  
"He's fluffy. He had a failure to cat earlier. I had to move his food to the kitchen bench because Anna was getting to it. He went to jump up, and ended up smacking into the side of the kitchen bench. He seems ok. He paused then glared at me, before running off to my room"  
Levi smiled at the thought of Eren's laugh. He fucking missed it   
"What else has been happening? How's the pup?"  
"Kicking my ribs. He always kicks more when Hanji's around. I swear he's trying to pick a fight with her"  
"That's because he knows how fucking annoying she is"  
"Maybe. She did help me out with the first panic attack, then she went and cooked eggs, and that was it. I told her not to"  
"Did you throw up on her?"  
"No. I spent a solid ten minutes throwing up into the kitchen sink. Then I ended up walking around the house trying to figure out if I should move my nest"  
"It's not any good?"  
"The nest is perfect. And I'll wash everything I've borrowed, but the nursery still smells like paint. I really want to get it smelling like us"  
"Why didn't you move our sheets into it?"  
"Because of a certain alpha that couldn't keep his hands off his fiancée"  
"From what I remember, we didn't make a mess"  
Eren had asked not to be knotted again because of his sore arse. So they'd touched a little and used condoms to keep the mess down  
"No, but they smell like sex. It'll be alright once you come home. I can open the room up again"  
"Did Hanji say anything about it?"  
"She wanted to look, but I'm not ready to share it yet"  
"It's alright, we don't have to. Do you two have anything planned for the next few days?"  
"She wants to take me shopping for supplies, for the baby shower. Honestly, I don't even know if I want to go"  
"Then we won't"  
"We can't skip our own baby shower. Besides, there's going to be cake"  
"Oh. So that's what I need. Bribery to get you out the apartment?"  
"I like going out with you... it makes me feel like I can and it's been long enough that no one recognises me anymore... Shopping with Hanji is like shopping with an adult sized toddler. If it's sparkly, she wants it"  
"Aren't you the same?"  
"I don't want everything shiny... between one tiny shiny and a whole day with you, or a massive shiny and half a day with you, I'd choose the tiny shiny"  
Eren let out a long yawn, Levi could hear him burrowing down against his pillows   
"I'd buy you all the shinies you want"  
"And the fact you don't, makes me happy. I want to be with you. Not with an alpha who tries to buy my love. Besides, books are good too"  
"Do you need new books?"  
"I don't know. I'm too sleepy to think. Actually, I'm thinking. But not about books"  
"Then what are you thinking about?"  
"Bridges"  
Levi raised an eyebrow  
"Bridges?"  
"Like how did they used to make them? In like really deep water. It's so weird"  
"Why are you thinking about bridges?"  
"I don't know. I started thinking about them when I was peeing"  
"Did Hanji give you strange drugs again?"  
"She's making me drink this fibre drink stuff that tastes horrible, but she swears I'll thank her for it. I like the chocolate stuff better"  
The chocolate stuff was actually a hospital grade meal replacement shake that was filled with vitamins and minerals to help keep Eren healthy with how much their pup was absorbing from him  
"I promise I won't make you drink it when I get home"  
"Good. She also ate all my food prep... it was all neat and tidy, then gone. We have to get food when we go get things for the baby shower"  
"I'll put some money in your account"  
"It's ok. She ate it, so she should pay for it"  
"I meant so you can buy anything you like"  
"I was thinking about getting some soft toys..."  
Eren yawned again  
"... but that can wait until your home. Tell me about your day"  
"Exhausting. It hasn't been raining here, so we've been stuck outside..."  
It only took a few minutes for Eren to be asleep. Levi didn't know if he should be insulted or not. His day had been long and rather boring. At least it had been to him. Closing his eyes, he listened to Eren's breathing. A slight wheeze concerning him. He was going to have to call Hanji and yell at her not taking better care of his omega. It didn't take long before a soft purr came through. Titan would be curled up at the top of Eren's nest with him, or laying with his head up against Eren's breasts. He'd wanted to go home from the moment he'd left, but right now... he'd sacrifice Erwin in a heartbeat to be there.

 

*  
The day had come. He was finally back home. Erwin had dropped him off, and Hanji had apparently gone home already to get ready for tomorrow's baby shower. The woman really didn't know how to take a breath and slow down. Both he and Erwin were exhausted and without realising it, they'd been in Mitras for Halloween. Levi had been thinking there was some extra week in October, but November had slipped in there from nowhere. Letting himself into their apartment. He closed and locked the door quietly. Eren was no where to be seen, while the apartment looked as if a bomb had hit it. He had no fucking idea how Hanji made so much mess, or how she'd managed to stink the place out so badly. His alpha roaring in anger over the fact her scent was mixing with Eren's, though her scent didn't compliment his love's at all. Rolling his suitcase over to the sofa, Levi dumped it in order to struggle out his jacket.

"Eren?"  
Calling softly, he got no reply. Checking the bathroom, their room and Eren's room, he found them empty. That only left the nursery. Letting himself into the room, Eren was curled up on the floor rug. A single blanket covered his fiancée. Walking over to him, Levi squatted down, stroking Eren's hair as he smiled at the sight of his mate  
"Eren, it's time to wake up"  
Mumbling his name, Eren curled himself tighter. How was supposed to ignore an invitation like that? Leaning in, he kissed Eren's parted lips, the omega immediately moaning into the kiss. Pulling back, the omega blinked at him with wide green eyes, before surging up and throwing his arms around him  
"Levi!"  
Falling backwards, Levi ended up with a lapful of happy omega   
"Hey, brat. Did you miss me?"  
Nuzzling furiously into his neck, that was definite yes. His senses were filled with the rush off pure happiness exuding from his fiancée. Gently pushing Eren back, his omega was not to be thwarted. Cupping his face, Eren's lips eagerly found his. The kiss deep and filled with affection, yet over all too fast  
"Let me look at you. You're ok, aren't you? How was training? How was your flight? Did you smother Erwin for snoring?"  
"Calm down and take a breath. I'm fine. No injuries. The flight was boring, and as tempting as it was, no. What about you? Why are you sleeping in here?"  
"Oh... I came in to bring the blanket in. I guess I was so sleepy that I fell asleep. I'm so happy you're home"  
"I can see. I missed you so fucking much"  
Leaning in, Levi kissed his mate, Eren mewing and grinding in his lap. The need to kiss every single inch of his fiancée was too much for him. With a growl and a protest from his knees, he'd gotten them both up from the floor and Eren into his arms before his omega could realise what was happening. Giggling, Eren peppered his jaw with kisses   
"My sexy fiancée"  
"You're the sexy one"  
"I don't know about that"  
"I do. I'm going to show exactly what that means"  
"Oooooh... then you better take me to my nest"  
"I wouldn't dream of taking you anywhere else"

Eren's nest had collected even more of their things in his absence, including the rabbit Eren had won. Laying his mate down, he climbed into Eren's lap  
"Fuck, brat. You're beautiful. Have u told you that?"  
Eren giggled  
"You might have mentioned it"  
Sliding the omegas shirt up, Eren's swell had him drooling. His mate even bigger than when he'd left. Leaning down, he nuzzled Eren's stomach   
"He's missed you too"  
"Mmm. Hello, baby. I'm sorry daddy had to work. But I'm home now"  
Running his tongue alone the dark line in the centre of Eren's stomach, Eren moaned. His hands gripping the sheets as Levi's hands went to the waist band of Eren's boxer briefs. Thank fuck the omega wasn't wearing anything more complicated. His brain could barely function as it was  
"I love you and I want you"  
"That's all I can think about"  
Lifting his hips, Levi freed Eren of his underwear. The omega's dick already hard as his thighs shook. Growling, the last of his braincells short circuited as hungrily took Eren into his mouth. A week might as well as been a month, or even a year. Bobbing his head, he stripped himself without letting up. With all the blood having gone to his dick, it was almost like he was in rut. He needed to be connected to Eren as soon as possible. He needed to feel his mate around him, and he needed to hold him. Throwing his button up shirt across the room, he then fumbled with his belt, cursing himself for wearing too many clothes. Forced to pull back, Eren whined at him  
"Shirt. Off. Now"  
Nodding quickly Eren stripped himself, before rolling over to present himself to Levi. Forced to climb off the bed in order to strip, he couldn't get back on fast enough. Grabbing Eren by his arse, he spread his cheeks, slick already dribbling down his crack as his opening twitched. He didn't think twice before burying his face against Eren's arse, his tongue making his love jump as he pushed in, desperately lapping at the slick like there was now tomorrow. Even when so painfully aroused, he wouldn't risk hurting his mate. Using his tongue and fingers, he drank down every drop of slick he could until Eren's opening was wide and loose  
"Alpha... please. I can't take it..."  
"I've got you, omega... such a good boy, presenting for me like this. Going to knot you so good"  
Eren nodded, holding himself still as Levi shuffled forward enough to mount his mate. Moaning in unison, he pushed in completely before waiting for Eren to adjust  
"You... can move"

Fighting his instincts Levi forced himself to rein in his alpha. He had his whole life to fuck Eren right in his mattress, but he only had one moment like this. Slowly he thrust, Eren gasping at every movement, while Levi enjoyed watching himself sliding in and out of Eren with ease  
"My pretty little omega. You take me dick so greedily"  
Nodding, Eren clenched around him, Levi nearly blowing his whole load at the sensation   
"All for you"  
"Going to fill you with my seed and breed you so good. You're going to have a whole litter of pups"  
"Yes! Please... please give me your pups! Need them..."  
"Have you birth this one, then breed you all over again"  
His alpha had taken over his mouth. It's primal desires falling from his lips   
"Or maybe you'd like me to fuck you through your labour? Make you come with each contraction"  
Eren let out a shrill cry, coming so hard Levi couldn't move as he clamped around him   
"You like that? My dick fucking you while you think of birthing our pup? Or would you rather sit in my lap as I drink from your breasts again"  
"A-alpha. They hurt"  
Sliding his hands from Eren's hips, he took his breasts in his hands, pulling Eren up to sit in his lap while working his nipples. Whimpering, Eren went boneless against him, Levi's alpha finally getting its wish as he rode his mate harder   
"Look at you... so hungry for an alpha's fat knot in that slutty arse of yours. Take it all like the omega you are"  
Dragging his teeth along Eren's shoulder, he sank his teeth in as his knot popped. Growling, his knot tugged as he tried to bury himself as deep as he could get. Panting through his nose, his teeth remained in Eren's flesh until the initial thick pulses of his dick had passed, the majority of his come bow painting Eren's walls weight as the rest of his come oozed out as it would for next 20 or minutes. 

Pulling his teeth free, Levi lapped at Eren's neck. Slightly lightheaded from the intensity of his orgasm, while his alpha's ego swelled over how sexually compatible they were. Kissing Eren's shoulder up to his neck, he caught a whiff of something sour, stilling as he realised Eren was shaking like a leaf  
"Hey. Eren, are you ok?"  
"I..."  
"Shit. Here, come here"  
Sitting back properly, Levi wrapped his arms around his mate   
"I'm sorry... that was probably too much. I lost my mind to my alpha. I didn't mean to scare you"  
Eren sniffled. He knew tears didn't always mean anything thanks to Eren's hormones, but these seemed to   
"I lied..."  
"You lied?"  
Levi was confused. Nodding, Eren turned in his hold. Enough that Levi could see the side of his face  
"I went to the nursery because I had a nightmare..."  
"Oh, brat. It's ok. I'm home now"  
"I dreamt I didn't escape... they made me stay there... and wouldn't let me see you or our pup"  
Something he probably should have known before thoroughly drilling Eren's arse. Again he found himself mentally cursing, though this time at his alpha for not keeping its mouth shut  
"Shhhh. You're ok"  
"I missed you. I missed you so much. I thought I'd never get home to you"  
Crooning softly, Levi kissed Eren's temple  
"You're safe. You're safe and I've got you"  
"I'm so relieved you're ok"  
"Of course I'm ok"  
"I'm sorry"  
"You did nothing wrong. As long as you're ok. I didn't hurt you, did I?"  
"No... no. I'm ok. I'm just so relieved... and I can't stop crying because I'm so relieved your ok"  
"My silly omega. I could never leave you all alone"  
"I know... I was going to have everything perfect for you, but Anna cried all night. That's why Hanji left this morning... I didn't mean to fall asleep"  
"What do you mean? Everything's perfect as it is"  
Eren shook his head  
"No, it's not. The apartment... I know how much pride you take in it"  
"Eren, everything's perfect because you're ok. That's the main thing"  
"I really wanted to show you I'm ok. That I can look after myself... but Hanji didn't leave. I love you"  
Levi knew Eren could look after himself. He just loved taking care of him...  
"I love you too. Once my knot goes down, why don't we take a shower? Then we can clean"  
"Are you sure you're not angry? They were so angry at me..."  
Eren must have been referring to his dream again  
"No, I'm not angry. Never with you"  
Taking his hand, Levi placed it one Eren's belly, before covering it with his own. Slowly Eren's sniffles faded, as his fiancée fell asleep in his arms. 

 

Enjoying Eren's lingering scent, Levi made sure his mate was comfortable as he left him to sleep in his nest. Despite the fact he was now home, he didn't dare take any of the washing from the nest. Eren had everything the way he needed it, and with the state apartment was in, a few dirty clothes and blankets was the least of his problems. Having knotted their fiancée, his alpha had settled from whatever bullshit it'd decided it needed to sprout. His happiness over being reunited with his mate had gotten the best of both of them. Eyeing his apartment in disgust, the whole thing should have been labelled as a fucking biohazard  
"Titan, come here boy"  
Titan let out a yowl as he came sprint-waddling from the nursery. Lifting the fat cat up, the tom started purring his head off as he headbutted Levi's face  
"I hear you had a rough time..."  
Rubbing Titan's fur, he grimaced   
"You need a bath too. I don't think I want to know what this sticky shit in your fur is... but first, do you want to go sleep with Eren? We both know how you feel about the vacuum cleaner"  
Titan continued to purr, drool running from his mouth and flicking as he tried for more pats  
"Yes, I know. I missed you too, big boy. Thank you for taking care of Eren for me. I'm just sorry you had to be Hanji'd"  
Kissing Titan's forehead, he carried the tom into Eren's room, placing him down on the bed where Titan flopped down beside Eren, his tailing flicking slightly as he watched Levi leaving.

If there could be crumbs or messy hand prints on something, there was. There were traces of where Eren had tried to clean, like the dishes in the dishwasher, but for a week of "house-slash-omega sitting", things really shouldn't have been this bad. First thing first was stripping his and Eren's bed. Hanji's shitty scent had ruined the weeks of accumulating his and Eren's in the room, leaving him with no choice but to open the window, as well as the balcony doors to get some air in.

Levi was still cleaning when Eren called for him. Stripping off his plastic gloves, he walked over to Eren's room and let himself in. Laying in the middle of his nest, propped up with his elbows Eren had his legs spread  
"Mmm... there you are"  
"Having fun without me, brat?"  
"No. I woke up and my fiancée was missing. Maybe you've seen him? He's a little on the short side, and kind of looks like a grumpy catfish... likes to leave his omega sleeping all on his own"  
Walking over, Levi climbed up onto the bed, leaning over to kiss his mate. Snaking an arm up, Eren pulled him close to deepen the kiss. One slow kiss turning to two before the broke apart  
"I guess you'll do"  
"Shitty brat. Have a good nap?"  
"It wasn't awful, until I woke up without you"  
Echoing Eren's playful tone, he smiled back at his mate   
"Oh. I'm so sorry. What can I do to make it up to you?"  
"Wellllll... you could kiss me again"  
Giving Eren a small peck on his lips, his omega sighed at him  
"That's not quite what I meant"  
"Oh, what did you mean?"  
"Down there..."  
"Down where?"  
"I've literally been waiting all week for you to touch me again. Do you really think once is enough?"  
"Roll onto your side for me"  
Whining, Eren complied. A pool of slick where he'd been laying. Running his hand over Eren's hip, he slid down the bed  
"You're so beautiful"  
Kissing Eren's hip, his omega raised his leg up, so he was basically laying in the recovery position. His abused opening still loose, dribbling slick and cum. Smirking at the sight, he blew lightly across Eren's arse  
"Levi..."  
"I'm sorry, I can't help it. You're so gorgeous"  
Applying his mouth to Eren's entrance, Eren mewed  
"Fuck... just like that"  
Eating his lover's arse slowly, Eren rocked back against him. He wasn't used to Eren being asked to be eaten out, but he definitely wasn't complaining. After all. He deserved a sweet treat after spending hours cleaning. Bringing Eren to orgasm, his omega grabbed for him, pulling him up to cuddle him  
"How was that for a kiss?"  
"Good... really good. Nearly worth waiting a week for"  
"I'm pretty sure I was kissing you earlier"  
"Mmm... there is that... I missed you so much"  
"Me or my tongue?"  
"You and your tongue. Is the bathroom clean?"  
"I've done our room, and the bathroom"  
"Fresh sheets?"  
"Yeah. But we're going to have to cover them with your scent again"  
"Nooo, with ours. What's the point of having a fiancée if I can't smell him?"  
"I could say the same to him. I bought you something"  
"Is it you? All I want is you"  
"Well, I am here. But no. I got you something in Mitras"  
"You had time? With all the rescuing and surviving Erwin's snoring"  
"I made time. Anyway, you can go head and use the bathroom. I know you need to pee"  
"Me? Pee? Never..."  
"I guess I'll just mop the floors then"  
"I'm going! I'm going! I don't think you appreciate the effort that goes into getting up"  
"Let me help you"  
"How did I survive a whole week without your fussing?"  
"Very well. You did so good"  
"I don't know about that"  
"I do. Come on, I want to give you your gift already"

Gift giving was delayed thanks to Eren deciding he wanted to shower, the pouting when Levi didn't join him. There was no point. Not when he still needed to finish cleaning. Waiting for his omega on the sofa, Eren came padding out in a shirt and underwear  
"You have no idea how good it is to shower without a crazy woman yelling out every five seconds"  
"Actually, I do. Right, come sit down and close your eyes"  
Coming to sit next to him? Eren scrunched his face up  
"If the wind changes, your face will stay like that"  
"It's not my fault. You didn't have to bring me back presents"  
"Exactly. I didn't have to, but I wanted to"  
Retrieving the box beside him, Levi popped it open, taking out the ring on the chain inside  
"Lower your head for me"  
Slipping the chain into place, he struggled with the parrot clip, before finally getting it to clip. Sitting back, he nodded to himself   
"You can open your eyes now"  
Eren's hand went up to his chest, the gold ring and gold chain looked great on his omega's neck   
"You got me a ring? I proposed to you"  
"I know... and one day, I'm going to propose right back all over again. This ring is my promise. I know your fingers are swollen at the moment, so I go..."  
Eren flung himself onto him  
"Thank you! But... why?"  
"I kind of just saw the ring and thought of you"  
"But you're my fiancée, I proposed to you! I should have got you ring"  
"I'm not complaining. I just thought we were keeping it a secret a little longer. My secret fiancée"  
"Fuck, it's like when you call me your mate. Your sending me into a meltdown"  
"You're going to have to wait until the baby shower for your next gift"  
"You didn't have too... you can't keep spending your money like this"  
"It's fine"  
"It's not fine. I'm banning you from spending more money me until next year"  
"I'd like to see you try"  
"Well, Hanji does owe me..."  
"Like if ever let her near my finances. Besides, there's still Christmas"  
"I don't need anything. I have you, and our pup, and Titan. And as long as I have you, i don't have to live in fear"  
They both knew that wasn't strictly true. They had no idea about the kind of fallout from Grisha's death, or the destruction of the omega breeding facility... but if Eren felt like that, that was huge progress. And it had been months... Was it too much to hope they'd just forget Eren existed? And that Eren would one day forget them?  
"I'm gonna go look at it... thank you"  
Kissing him, Eren scrambled back off the sofa, heading back into the bathroom. The ring was a simple gold band, with a small green gem. He had Eren's engagement ring after all. This one was just so Eren knew he was his.

 

*  
After a late night scrubbing the apartment spotless, followed by a night of napping and reconfirming their love with Levi in his lap, the last thing Eren expected was for Levi to pull over to the side of the road, then tell him he was driving. He had no idea how to fucking drive! He'd even kind of forgotten he'd even got his learners permit in the first place. Why Levi would suddenly spring this on him, he had no idea. Sitting behind the driver's wheel of Levi massive car, he had to struggle to find the seat adjuster. Levi's legs were sooo much shorter than his. He didn't know how Erwin fitted. But then again, Erwin wasn't 7 months pregnant. Sitting there, he looked at Levi   
"Now what?"  
"Do you know which pedal is which?"  
"Not really. First time behind the wheel here"  
"I wouldn't say that... I remember two instances that say otherwise"  
Levi wasn't helping his anxieties. He had no idea how Hanji had put together the baby shower, or who the hell was coming. Glaring, his alpha sighed  
"Accelerator. Brake. And clutch is the closet. You use the clutch to change gears when the revs are up between 2 and 3"  
2 and 3 what? Couldn't this wait until after he'd given birth?! When he had the patience to learn this?!  
"Alright, we're going to start the car... Eren, you need to stop staring at me and turn the key"  
Turning the key, the engine whined at him  
"Oh. Right. Put one foot on the clutch, and one on the break..."  
If Eren didn't have a bad feeling about this before, it all went plummeting down with that comment. 

Eren decided he would be happy to never drive again as he slowly limped Levi's car into Hanji's driveway. Ripping the handbrake up, Levi growled at him, and again as he stalled. The moment he climbed out, he snatched up the keys and flung the across the yard with a scream  
"What the fuck!"  
"Don't what the fuck, me! I am never fucking driving again!"  
"Don't be overdramatic!"  
"I'm being overdramatic?! Who's the one didn't even bother to fucking tell me how to brake properly!?"  
"That was one time!"  
"I fucking stalled, and you fucking laughed!"  
"It's not my fault! You looked so confused!"  
"Because you said you'd teach me to drive and then didn't tell me anything! Get fucked!"

Marching towards the house, Eren was fuming  
"Eren..."  
"No! Get fucked, Levi! Take your shitty fucking knot and shove it up your fucking arse!"  
Jogging over, Levi found up his keys  
"Brat..."  
Ignoring his... Ignoring Levi, Eren let himself in. Levi following up the stairs in time for the door to slam in his face. Rushing over from the kitchen area, Hanji was all smiles  
"Eren! You're here. Where's Levi?"  
Opening the door, Levi let himself in  
"Eren, look..."  
"No. Fuck off. I don't want to look at your and constipated face!"  
Stepping onto the first stair, Levi wouldn't let it drop  
"Where are you going?"  
"To the bathroom, to take a fucking piss. Or do you want to come laugh at me over that too!?"  
Hanji laughed  
"Oh no! Trouble in paradise?"  
"I decided it was time he started learning how to drive"  
"And Levi can stick it up his arse and rotate!"  
"That good..."  
Storming up the stairs, the best he could, he hoped his mood would bring an end to this conversation. It was his first time ever driving. He didn't know what he was doing, and instead of explaining, Levi first laughed. Then got progressively madder, then laughed when he'd fucking stalled again. He was trying his hardest.

Having peed, Eren was now sobbing in Hanji's bathroom over being mean to Levi. It wasn't his alpha's fault he was too stupid to get it. With a light knock, Hanji let herself in  
"Hey, honey... wanna talk about it?"  
"I yelled at Levi"  
Hanji smiled, walking over to him and wrapping her arms around him  
"It's fine. Levi's more worried about you taking so long up here"  
Great he was making Levi wait on him. Hiccuping, he wiped at his face   
"I don't know what to say"  
"You know, you can't talk to him if you're up here"  
"I got so mad at him"  
"Then tell me about it"  
"No. I think I'd rather forget it ever happened"  
"Sweetheart, its ok. Learning to drive is rough"  
"Did your teacher laugh at you, and not tell you how to do things? When you're this fat and ugly?!"  
"You're not fat and you're not ugly. And Levi... he's not great at teaching things"  
"He taught me I never want to drive again"  
"Do you want me to teach you? It's quieter out here than in the city"  
Eren shook his head. Fuck no. No driving. Ever   
"I don't ever want to drive again"  
"I'm sure with a bit of time..."  
"Hanji. I said no. I don't want to. I can't. Ok. I can't"  
Running for his life was less scary than learning to drive and yelling at Levi. Especially yelling at Levi. His poor alpha was trying... he was just so much work...  
"Alright. Here, why don't we clean your face up? People are starting to arrive... We can put your hair up? Yeah?"  
He didn't want to go downstairs. First of all, he was still recovering from coming up them. He didn't want everyone looking at him... and what did say to Levi? Sorry? How was one little word supposed to fix that? He'd yelled at him! Where anyone could be watching or listening! And now... he had to go back downstairs and apologise in front of everyone. Levi probably didn't really want to talk to him. He'd been so mean... he'd been bad. First he hadn't kept the apartment clean. Now he was yelling at Levi when he was just trying to help. Clutching at the ring his fiancée has gifted him, he couldn't breathe. He'd hurt Levi. He'd been bad  
"Hey, shh... honey, it's ok. It's ok. You're ok... Levi isn't mad. He's not mad at you. He's just worried. Why don't I go get him? Maybe that would be better? You two can talk? See that he's not mad..."

Hanji must have texted Levi rather than leaving him. Letting himself into the bathroom, his fiancée rushed over to him  
"He thinks you're mad at him for earlier"  
"Thanks Shitty Glasses, but I already figured that much out. Give us a moment"  
"Ok. Eren, I'm going to be right outside. If you need me to hit him, you just let me know"  
He didn't want anyone hitting Levi. Kissing the top of his head, Hanji made space so Levi could squat down in front of him  
"I'm sorry about before. I should have been more patient. You did really well"  
"Y-you laughed... I'm s-sorry I'm too stupid"  
"Brat, you're not stupid. It's just been a long time since I taught anyone to drive. Hell. The first time I did, I was teaching Isabel and she drove into a police car. Luckily no one was in it, so we just drove off... but still. I didn't think about how stressful it would be for you. First having me gone, and then having Hanji and Anna. I just wanted to give you a little more independence"  
"I'm sorry for yelling at you!"  
Levi laughed  
"You're yelling right now"  
"Because I was bad..."  
Levi let out a long breath, punching the bridge of his nose  
"No. You weren't bad. You kept it together and didn't yell at me until we were out of the car me"  
"I had no idea what I was doing and I'm stupid!"  
"You're not stupid"  
"I couldn't drive!"  
"It was your first lesson"  
Levi sat, taking his hands in his  
"Besides, if you were stupid, I wouldn't have signed you up for online classes through Shinganshima Training and Further Education"  
Eren sniffled, panting stupidly from the lack of air in his lungs. His stomach hurt from his pathetic sobbing   
"Y-you what?"  
"I told you I had a second present for you"  
Eren shook his head  
"I don't know what you mean"  
"You've been working so hard since I met you to educate yourself. It makes so fucking proud. Every time I see you with your books, it makes me all that much prouder. They offer a course online that's like doing high school"  
"But... I can't do that"  
"The only person who thinks you can't, is you. It's all online. You don't even need to go in to see them. You just email everything"  
"I can't email. I can't use a computer"  
"You can use your phone and we can work on it together. Once the pup comes, I'll be on leave for a while. So we can work through it all together"  
Eren shook his head   
"I'm not smart enough"  
"You are. You're so smart. And you're curious. And I know can do this"  
"I only went to school until I was 10"  
"Yeah. And how much have you learned in this last year?"  
"I don't know"  
"You've learned a lot. You worked and worked at those books until you understood and when you didn't, you asked me. And we worked it out together"  
"I..."  
"You're going to put yourself down again, and I'm not having it. You're my omega. My mate. My fiancée. And I promise you that you can do this, and I'm going to be there to help. Besides, I've already ordered all your books"  
"I told you not to spend more money"  
"I'd already organised all of this. They're going to send a letter out with all your course details and online log in. We can just use my email for now, or I can make you your own"  
"I'd have to ask you about it anyway"  
"Ok... I'm really sorry for yelling..."  
"I deserved it. I love you"  
"I love you too... fuck... I don't want to go downstairs"  
"It's alright. Mike and Erwin are making flirty eyes at each other. You're not missing much"  
"Mike and Erwin?"  
"They sleep together and then man whore Erwin sleeps with someone else, because he's too chicken shit to be with Mike"  
"I didn't know that"  
"That's because they don't talk about it. I think Erwin moving in here was to force Mike's hand, but like I said. I don't know. I don't want to think about them boning"  
Eren scrunched up his face  
"If I wasn't feeling sick before, I am now"  
"You feel sick?"  
"Heartburn, and gross from crying"  
"I'm sorry. I promised I wouldn't make you cry"  
"It's ok..."  
"It's really not. Do you want me to help clean you up?"  
"H-Hanji said she would"  
"Hanji can go jump. You're my mate. No one but me, gets to touch you"  
"I probably look horrible"  
"Just a little"  
Kicking Levi in the knee, his alpha sighed   
"Really?"  
"Mhmm..."  
"Alright. Are you ready to get up?"  
"I need a few seconds. Go wait with Hanji, I'll come out when I'm ready"  
"Do I have to?"  
"Play nicely with the other children"  
"Buuuuut, Eren..."  
"Buuuut, nothing. If I have to be nice, you have to be nice too"  
"Fine. I'll go wait"  
"I..."  
"Don't apologise again. I know you were going to"  
"Sometimes I feel like you know me too well"  
"You are my fiancée... and my mate and carrying our pup..."  
"Ok. I get it. Just let me freshen up, and I'll be right out"  
"Don't rush. You scared me enough going up the stairs. I want to be there when you're walking back down"  
Eren groaned. Fucking stairs. He never wanted to see another stair as long as he lived. Even his ankle throbbed in agreement.

 

*  
"Levi!"  
With a whispered squeal, Levi had barely closed the bathroom door behind Hanji was hugging him and doing some kind of weird jumping as she did  
"Why didn't you tell me!"  
Levi sighed heavily, fighting to push Hanji off him  
"Tell you what?"  
"That ring..."  
"What about it?"  
"You proposed, didn't you?"  
"No. I didn't propose"  
That was true. Eren had...  
"What?! No... I was so sure! Don't tell me you brought him a ring without proposing?!"  
"It's a promise. Between Eren and I"  
"A promise to marry him?"  
"I'm already fucking bonded to him. And once the pup is born, and he can enjoy it all properly, then and only then, I'll propose"  
Hanji's creepy smile only got bigger  
"Mhmm... you're not one to gift jewellery"  
"I have before. Or didn't you notice Eren's charm bracelet"  
"Oh come on!! Hurry up and propose! I'm going to plan him the best bachelorette party every"  
"He's a guy"  
"So?"  
"Then it's a bachelors party"  
"Trust me. I know how to throw a great bachelorette party. Like the one where I got you the omega of your dreams"  
"Fuck off. Eren chose me all his own"  
"You're just salty knowing that I was right..."  
"I'm not salty. You're just irritating"  
"I think you mean "I'm wonderful""  
"You're crazy"  
"But the best kind of crazy. A crazy friend who cares. What's he doing?"  
"Rinsing his face. He wanted a minute alone"  
"He was pretty upset over yelling at you"  
"That's because he's been stressed out for the last week, then we stayed up last night"  
"Oooooh-f. What was that for?"  
Elbowing Hanji in the gut cut off her annoying "ooohing"  
"We were fucking cleaning. How the fuck did you manage to get the apartment so fucking messy?"  
"Well. There was Anna and Eren, and Eren..."  
"You don't get to pin this one on him"  
"I'm just saying..."  
"Nope. And make sure you don't let anyone get too close to him. His nerve are fucking shot"  
"I know, I know. Did you see Mike's gift?"  
"I told him to get Eren something fluffy, but I wasn't expecting that"  
"It's adorable"

Shuffling out the bathroom, Eren's eyes were still red, but his breathing was better, as was his complexion  
"Sorry"  
Hanji smiled at Eren, reaching out her hand towards him  
"It's ok, sweetheart. If you need a break or whatever from everyone, you just let me know"  
"Thanks. But I don't think Levi will let me out of his sight"  
"Damn right. How do you feel?"  
"Not great... but this party is for all three of us. Sorry, Hanji. I stole some panadol from your bathroom"  
"That's fine, honey. You probably need it after all that crying. I don't think things are going to get that loud or out control, but if they do..."  
"Let you know. I get it. Please tell me they're not all going to yell when we come downstairs?"  
"I cannot confirm or deny that there may be a pre-organised congratulations"  
Eren groaned, ignoring Hanji's hand to come to his   
"Now, now. We're all really happy for the both of you. After everything, you both deserve all the happiness in the world"  
"I think we're pretty happy, even without being yelled at"  
"Just let us celebrate! I've already expressed, and I'm dying for tequila"  
Levi snorted, hugging Eren close. His scent was still panicked, but it was gradually calming   
"Finally. The truth comes it"  
"Can you blame me? 10 months without a drink!"  
Eren mumbled from his shoulder   
"We should get her that tequila then"  
"Only if you're sure you're going to be ok"  
"As long as you stay close..."

Stepping off the last stair, Levi watched in horror. It was like an accident, when people crowded around to pry without thinking about the consequences. The moment they stepped off the stairs, everyone turned to them, practically yelling congratulations. What they failed to consider was that party poppers might not be the best idea for an already anxious omega. The moment the simultaneous popping started, Eren screamed "dad" and dropped like a dead weight. Fainting so fast he and Hanji barely caught him. Staring at their group of friends, all of them seemed confused, like Eren had no good reason for fucking fainting. Levi growled, using his knee to balance Eren and lift him into his hold  
"What the fuck do you think you're all fucking doing?! Didn't you think! He watched his dad shoot his mum, his brother killed in front of him , then finally his dad was killed so he could escape! He just had about had a fucking panic attack upstairs!"  
His angry outburst was met with silence from the group. In his arms, Eren groaned   
"Sorry, brat"  
"D-dad?"  
"It's Levi"  
"Dad... I'm sorry..."  
It broke part of Levi's heart to hear Eren trying to apologise to his dad. His dad was fucking dick, and if he hadn't pushed his mate so hard, Eren would now be enjoying his party. Making space for him, Eld and Gunther climbed off the sofa. Carrying Eren over, it was now that he noticed Armin and Mikasa had been invited. How the fuck had Hanji even managed that?! The pair looked hurt and confused, while Levi's words finally hit him. He'd just spilled Eren's secrets... shit. Sitting down, he kept Eren in his lap  
"Levi, is he ok?"  
"Yeah, Erwin. He's coming 'round already. He's going to be embarrassed by all this"  
"Can I get you anything?"  
"A bottle of water for him, and I think I need a fucking beer after that"  
Everyone was still staring. Hanji stepping forward and clapping her hands like a teacher trying to get her classes attention   
"Alright. Give them a minute, everyone go back to talking. Nothing to see here"  
Mikasa and Armin were the first to dissolve into a whispered conversation, while Mina started crying in Marco's lap. Jean lifting the little girl and tickling her. He might be a horsefaced arse, but the way his face lit up, he was an amazingly ok father. 

Slowly around them, their friend group started moving again. Erwin retrieved a glass of water for Eren, and his beer, while his omega sighed against him  
"Eren?"  
"What happened?"  
"You decided you were going to faint"  
"That explains why I'm not standing up anymore"  
"Yeah. As impressive as it was, I wouldn't recommend trying it again"  
"I'm sorry... I don't even remember fainting"  
"It's fine. I yelled at everyone"  
Eren sighed at him  
"You can't keep yelling at everyone"  
"Watch me"  
"I really wish you hadn't. It's not worth making a fuss over"  
Struggling up in his lap, Eren blinked at everyone, sighing again as he realised they were intentionally not staring   
"Uh. Hi. Sorry about the fainting... and sorry about Levi. But I guess we all know what he's like"  
Hanji gave a nervous kind of laugh before dropping down on the sofa next to them. Drawing her knee up, Hanji sat sideways so she was facing both of them, patting Eren's leg slightly harder than necessary   
"It's fine. Anyway, congratulations!"  
Eren laughed awkwardly as he finally got comfortable. Sitting now so that his side was against Levi's chest  
"It's been like... 4 months"  
"You didn't tell us to begin with"  
"That's because you have a big mouth"  
Hanji nodded  
"I do. I'm sorry, but baby!"  
Across from them, Jean snorted  
"How many babies are in there? If he's only four month, there's something horribly wrong with whatever's growing in there"  
Instead of shying away, Eren growled. Both hands going to his stomach  
"I'm seven months, you idiot. It's been like 4 months since Erwin and Mike found out. The only thing horribly wrong here is your face"  
Jean snarled, while everyone else in the room laughed. Even Marco was laughing, though he was trying to hide it behind his hand. Hanji was still laughing as she turned towards him  
"Damn, Jean. You should know better than to insult a pregnant omega and his pup. Especially when he's sitting in the lap of his mate. I don't know if that makes you brave, or incredibly stupid"  
"Stupid"  
Whispering it so only Eren's could hear, his boyfriend nodded with a laugh. The tension in the room seemed to leak out, all at Jean's expense, while the look on his face only made it funnier. Flushed red, Jean looked like a goldfish as he opened and closed his mouth with nothing come out it.

Hanji waited until every one had started to drink before bringing out the cake she'd ordered. Levi had to agree with Eren that it was a good looking cake. The frosting a sky blue with white trims, "Congratulations Eren and Levi" was neatly printed in curling letters across the middle, with three dark blue balloons down in the corner. He was grateful Hanji hadn't decided on a dick, or a sperm... or anything other than a stock standard cake  
"Alright, who wants to cut the cake?"  
Nudging his brat, Eren looked to him with big doey eyes  
"Let me guess, you want me to?"  
Nodding at him, Levi sighed. It wasn't like Eren had gone non-vocal again, but since his outburst, he hadn't talked much at all. What he wouldn't pay to be able to step inside Eren's mindspace. He didn't know if his fiancée was still upset about earlier, or overthinking his fainting episode. Then again, it could be the small crowd of people, given that Petra, Olou, Mikasa, and Armin were there. It was clear that the last two wanted to talk with Eren, while frankly he didn't know why Petra and Olou had even come in the first place  
"You need to climb out of my lap if you want me to cut this thing"  
"Here, climb into my lap"  
Opening her arms wide, Eren poked his tongue out at Hanji  
"I'm hurt! I'd give you cuddles just as good as Levi's!"  
"Stop teasing him"  
Sliding himself between them, Eren stared down at the cake. His mate didn't look too happy at all, but rather like he was trying to keep a smile on his face when all he wanted to do was cry. 

Cutting the cake, everyone congratulated them all over again. Leaning over to help serve, Eren's ring slipped forward from its safe confines down Eren's shirt. Erwin noticing it immediately as he reached for the next plate of cake to pass out  
"I see congratulations in order. Nice ring you've got there"  
Hanji cut Erwin off  
"Don't bother. I already asked Levi. It's not an engagement ring"  
"Really? I thought for sure Levi would have proposed"  
"So did I"  
Levi shrugged it off, while trying not to laugh at the pair   
"You never know, Eren could get in first"  
"Oooh. I'll take that bet. I've got $50 on Levi proposing first, and making a total fool of himself as he does"  
"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Hanji"  
Erwin gave a nod, passing Armin his share of the red velvet cake  
"Then I guess I'll be $50 on Levi too. What about you, Mike?"  
"$100 on Eren"  
Hanji howled with laughter   
"Eld, Gunther. Either of you two going to get in on this?"  
"Nope. I value my life"  
Eld nodded at Gunther's words  
"Yeah. Hanji, you forget. We're the ones who work with him"  
Hanji changed tactic, looking Marco dead in the eye  
"Marco. You know Eren and Levi pretty well. Who do you think's going to propose first?"  
"Isn't it traditionally the alphas role?"  
"Oh. So you reckon it's going to be Levi?"  
"Well it's tradition... but I was the one who proposed to Jean... no. It's definitely going to be Levi"  
"Awww... Petra? Olou?"  
Petra didn't look impressed over being asked, her answer cold and blunt   
"Levi"  
And copying her, Olou was just as blunt before biting his tongue  
"Levi"  
Beside him, Eren was biting his lip to hide his smile. Mike was the only one who'd hit the bullseye. Hanji nodded  
"I just can't see it being our little Eren. He's so quiet. He wouldn't say "boo" too a ghost"  
That was a load of shit. Erwin coughed   
"Bullshit"  
"Excuse me. That's my honey you're talking about"  
"I'm just saying, Eren can be loud when he wants"  
Eren's face turned bright red, Levi replying without skipping a beat  
"So can you and Mike"  
As red dusted Erwin's cheeks, Levi was quietly proud of himself   
"Armin. Mikasa. Are you two going play?"  
Mikasa pulled her scarf up, the woman looking down at it with a glare   
"Aren't engaged to him? But he's carrying your pup?"  
"We're bonded"  
"So you're..."  
"What Mikasa means is, she doesn't care as long as you're both happy"  
Armin quickly shot down whatever Mikasa was about to say, which was probably for the best  
"Awww. Armin, that's sweet. But money's on the line here"  
"I've only recently reconnected with Eren. I really couldn't say"  
"But if you had to pick..."  
"I... um..."  
This time, Mikasa was the one to cut Armin off  
"When we were children, we vowed to always be on each other's side. That means we're going with Eren... though I have to wonder why?"  
And awkward silence was back... it even took Hanji a few moments to figure out what to say  
"In any case. Congratulations on your pup. I can't wait for cuddles"  
"Like I'm letting you touch our child"  
"But Leeeevi. They're going to be so cute"  
"If you want cuddles, you have Anna"  
"I want all the cuddles"  
Levi rolled his eyes. That wasn't happening. Over in the corner, Anna didn't give two shits that she was being talked about. She was too busy playing with Mina. 

Passing the last few plates of cake out, Eren climbed off the sofa   
"Where are you going?"  
"Bathroom"  
"Want some help with the stairs?"  
Eren shook his head. His fiancée walking away from him, and causing him to sigh  
"You should hurry up and propose to him"  
"Hanji, we had this conversation"  
"I knoooow. But, it's not like you're going to marry anyone else. He's got you whipped"  
"I know. And I don't mind it. I just wish he was able to relax"  
"No one's stopping him"  
"He's stopping himself. I think he's still upset over fainting"  
"He couldn't help it. Is it true about his father?"  
"Yeah. But keep your mouth shut about it all. It wasn't easy for him"  
"And his father actually..."  
"Died to save him"  
"Shit"  
Levi could only nod his agreement.

 

*  
Coming back down from the bathroom, Eren really wasn't feeling it. Everyone was gathered here to celebrate his pregnancy, but his guilt over everything was in overdrive. He'd fainted, after making Levi come up to the bathroom. When he'd come to in Levi's lap, all he could think about was his dad, and he had no idea why. Then his mind had flooded him with the guilt of everything the man had done. He'd tried to keep it together for his fiancée. He tried to smile. But it was so fucking hard. He felt sick to his stomach over it all. Once again he'd deluded himself into thinking that he was better. That he was making progress and wasn't the same omega that Levi had taken in like a rescue dog. He'd been so fucking happy Levi was home, and feeling like he could do anything because of it... then promptly got mad at reality when it gently reminded him he really couldn't. Instead of returning to the party in the living room, he walked out the front door to settle himself down on the veranda's step. He didn't even know why half the people in Hanji's house were there. True. He and Marco had talked a little more. But Armin and Mikasa. What did he even say? Hi? So we were friends before my dad killed me my mum and I became a whore? Or, I see you used to know me, but my dad was really a cult member in a baby farm, so can we not talk about him? He was curious about the two people who'd been his best friends... he just didn't know what to say to them. Feeling his pup kicking, he rubbed at his swell. His baby wasn't happy from all his crying, and all this anxiety crap. When was he finally going to get over it all? He was so fucking sick of it... and great... he was crying again.

"Eren, can we talk?"  
Shit. Shit. Shit. No. He recognised Armin's soft voice from the few words the alpha had said inside. Without waiting for an answer, the blond sat on one side of him while Mikasa sat on the other, leaving him feeling slightly claustrophobic despite the space around them   
"We know we probably shouldn't have come today, but... we both have missed you so much... and now that you're having a baby. We both wanted to know that you're actually doing ok. I... I know it's been a long time, but Mikasa and I never stopped looking for you"  
What did he say to that? As if sensing his inner turmoil, or rather, smelling it, Armin continued   
"I guess we just want to be friends with you again. You probably don't remember, but we all used to think you were an alpha. You see, kids used to pick on me, but you'd always come running into save me. You and Mikasa. You were our best friend. You were practically family to us, and we could never forget you. Do you remember the promise we made? We promised to see the ocean together. At the time, it seemed like an impossible dream..."  
"T-that was you?"  
Armin's face lit up  
"You remember?"  
"I remembered the promise. For years I tried to remember who I'd promised..."  
A touch of wistfulness infected his tone. Maybe if he had been an alpha, none of the shit he'd been through would have happened. He could have had a loving mother and father. He could have gone to school, maybe even university. Found a job. Found an omega... No. He couldn't go back and change the past. He loved Levi with everything he had, and the idea of a life without Levi, it hurt too much to even consider  
"I've seen the ocean, but I suppose you both have too"  
"You've been?"  
Eren nodded. Apparently Armin was going to do all the talking, while Mikasa stared a hole through his face   
"About this time last year. Levi took me... so we could scatter my brother's ashes"  
His chest grew tight as he thought of Zeke... he hadn't even talked to his father about his older brother... still too angry over the fact Zeke wanted to sell him off  
"I didn't know you had a brother. Neither of us did"  
"I didn't until I was 16 or 17... something like that"  
Not until after everything had gone to shit. Then his saviour had turned out to be the devil in disguise   
"I'm sorry about your mum. And your brother"  
"Don't be. It's not your fault"  
It was his for being born an omega  
"Still... So... um... How did you meet Levi?"  
Armin seriously wanted to be friends? He didn't know why anyone would want to be friends... the alpha was probably just trying to do what he thought he was supposed to do. Be polite  
"He and Hanji came into the place I was working in. I got into a fight with a customer and ended up getting hurt. He's a paramedic, so he and Hanji rushed to my aide"  
"That sounds romantic"  
"I wouldn't say that..."  
"And he treats you good?"  
Eren gave a small laugh  
"He treats me better than anyone I've ever met"  
"That's good. I'm really happy for you"  
Mikasa broke her silence   
"Are you two really bonded? He didn't force you, did he? And is he going to stick around after the pup is born?"  
Eren's hand went to his necklace   
"We're bonded. I live with him, and he's dedicated to his pup"  
"And you? He's never hurt you?"  
"No... he's a good man"  
"Are you sure?"  
Armin sighed   
"Mikasa, stop. Sorry, Eren. She's just worried... and I think a little jealous. She used to have such a thing for you"  
"Armin!"  
"You're being rude to Eren. This is his baby shower"  
"I just want to know his alpha is going to man up, and not leave him pregnant and homeless!"

"I'm never going to do that to him. Eren is my mate. I love him and our child"  
Walking up behind them, Levi placed his hands on Eren's shoulders  
"I was wondering where you got to"  
Armin smiled politely   
"I'm sorry. I was just congratulating Eren. We didn't mean to steal him from you"  
"I'm fine, Levi. You worry too much"  
"Probably. Are you coming back in?"  
Eren looked to Armin   
"Mikasa and I are going to go. But it really would be nice to talk to more"  
"I'll think about it"  
That seemed to make the blond alpha happy. He and Mikasa leaving the pair of them on the steps while they walked off to the parked motorcycle at the very end of Hanji's driveway  
"Are you really ok?"  
"Yeah. He said they just wanted to make sure I was really happy and alright"  
"Are you going to talk to them again?"  
"Maybe. I don't know. They knew me when Grisha was still around... I don't know what to say about him"  
"You don't have to answer right now. Just take your time and think about it"  
Kissing Levi's hand, Eren nodded  
"Yeah... I guess. Never mind me. Is it safe to come back inside?"  
"Yep. Hanji wants to do presents. Don't freak out when you see Mike's"  
"Do I want to know?"  
"Everyone makes the shower about the baby, so I suggest he buy something for you"  
"Now I'm scared"  
"It's only a six foot white unicorn"  
"What?!"  
"It's stuffed. But it's massive. I don't even know where he bought it"  
"But why a unicorn?"  
"I have no idea"  
Moving around him, Levi helped pull him to his feet  
"You should see it. It's actually kind of impressive"  
"Should I be worried that my alpha likes me receiving gifts from other alphas?"  
"Not when I know how much my fiancée will like it... and not when I told him to buy you something"  
Eren felt himself smiling at the word "fiancée"  
"My secret fiancée. How long do we leave it before telling them?"  
"It's up to you. But seeing Hanji so frustrated is pretty funny"  
"That's true. I wonder how long we can keep it secret?"  
"Do you want to see?"  
"I'm not saying no. But what do I get when you slip up and tell her?"  
"Me? I'm pretty sure you'll cave first"  
"Dream on, old man"  
Grabbing him by the arse, Levi growled playfully  
"I'll bottom for a month if I slip up"  
"That's not really a punishment. Not when you really enjoyed riding my dick last night"  
"This is true. What do you want?"  
"I'll have to think about that... thanks, Levi"  
Levi wrinkled his beautiful brow  
"For what?"  
"Distracting me. I... I'm really struggling with my guilt and I'm probably ruining the party. This... this is nice"  
"Eren, you have nothing to be guilty over"  
"I started thinking about Grisha then all the omega who were seperate from their pups and how unfair it was"  
"That's because you're too kind. You always feel everyone's pain, and never focus enough on your own"  
"I don't know. I think I'm pretty selfish"  
"We're going to have to agree to disagree, because I know better"  
Eren shook his head  
"Don't give me that, brat. You're the best person I know in this world. You're kind and gentle, and way too forgiving. You're the kind of person who always want to find a way to solve things without violence..."  
Eren paled. His omega cruelly supplying "Bertholdt" in the back of his mind. For just one day, he'd like to feel normally... but when you kill someone, he supposed you never got over it...  
"I can see you thinking"  
Wiping at his tears, Levi smiled softly at him  
"Whatever it is, I love you. I love you and our pup"  
"I... I know"  
"Good. Let's go do presents, then we can go home"  
Home sounded so good... home with Levi, where he could escape reality and having his alpha soothe away the weights of his sins  
"Ok... sounds like a plan. Should we worry about Hanji's present?"  
Sighing as he stepped up, Levi shook his head  
"The woman is crazy, but she's not suicidal. She knows better than to mess with you or the pup"  
"Are you sure?"  
Levi paused mid-step  
"No. Shit. Maybe we should be worried...?"  
"You're not helping"  
"As long as it doesn't explode, it shouldn't be too bad"  
Eren rolled his eyes, letting Levi tug him towards the open door  
"I'm even more worried than when I asked"  
"So am I"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So ya'll better hit me with your questions, or I'm gonna keep laying foundations for their future


	56. Chapter 56

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo I tried another time skip... this is 3 weeks after the baby shower... we all needed some angsty Levi imo

Eren could tell something was wrong with Levi the moment he walked in. His alpha's eyes were red and puffy, while the smell of smoke seemed to fill the apartment in seconds. He'd heard the sirens earlier and ignored them, but whatever had happened, Levi had been there. Throwing his things down, Levi covered his face with his hands, screaming into them. Eren's heart began to race at the sound of such anguish from his alpha. He wanted to rush over and wrap his arms around him, but Levi was practically screaming that he needed space. Climbing from the dining chair where he'd been working on some maths problems, Eren walked into the kitchen. If Levi didn't want to talk, he wasn't going to make him. If Levi needed a few minutes to calm down, then he may as well make his mate a strong cup of tea for when he came out the bathroom.

Placing two teabags in the mug, he watched Levi tear off his work jacket, flinching at the snarl his mate gave as it caught. The smell of the smoke was making him nauseous, and distracting him from the feelings of pain coming through their bond. He'd felt sick all day as it was. Starting with a headache when Levi left for work, before he was reduced to vomiting back up his lunch. Watching Levi carefully, he stilled his movements as Levi stalked into the kitchen, retrieving the his stash of scotch from the cupboard. The smell of anger nearly knocked him off his feet as he vomited into his mouth. It was as if it was oozing off him in the form of smoke, causing his eyes to water as he forced himself not to look at Levi. Flinching when Levi slammed the bottle down on the kitchen counter, his alpha moved behind him.

It all happened too quick for him to process. Eren's racig heart beating so loud as Levi ripped his underwear down and pushed himself inside. A strangled scream rose in Eren's throat. He felt himself trying to escape, but his mate's hold on hips was bruising, his stomach awkwardly crushed against the kitchen counter. The edge cutting in and scraping across his tender swell. He knew Levi was hurting, but this wasn't like Levi at all  
"Levi! Levi, stop! It hurts"  
Ere tried to relax, but Levi slammed into him harder. He was so fucking scared. He couldn't move. He couldn't do anything. Levi was never this rough. His lover always taking every care to prep him. When he and Levi and sex, he always felt loved and wanted. It was always warm and perfect. This. He was cold. He was freezing cold and scared. So scared he couldn't cry. He couldn't help his biological reaction, but the more he slicked, the more it hurt. Something akin to shitting razor blades. Whimpering and whining, his fiancée didn't even seem to notice or care. His face burning bright with shame as warm urine ran down his legs. Ramming into him over and over as he felt himself tearing more and more  
"Levi! You're hurting me! Calm down! I don't feel well!"  
Covering his mouth with a smokey hand, Eren clawed at it. But even with both hands, he couldn't get it off his mouth. Scratching and twisting, he tried to dislodge his mate, only for Levi to snarl so coldly that he felt paralysed. Levi's grunting and panting didn't stop, the alpha riding him until just before his knot popped. The swollen base catching on his arse as Levi waited until the last second before forcibly pulling out, sending fiery agony up his spine as waves of come hit his fresh tears. Sobbing hard, Eren sank down to the floor for as Levi started to shake. His hand coming off from behind his mouth as Levi let out a heartbreaking howl. The whole instance had been over in a matter of minutes. His fiancée crying harder than he'd ever believed possible. Reaching for Levi, his fiancée smacked his hand away, screaming at him  
"I'm sorry!"  
Eren didn't understand. He didn't understand anything... he just knew he was terrified, but whatever Levi was going through was worse. Through blurry eyes, he blinked up at him. Levi looking absolutely devastated and mortified. The colour completely gone from his face   
"L-Lee?"  
"Eren... I... what... what did I do?"  
Whimpering, he tried to reach for Levi. He hurt so badly   
"Lee..."  
"I... no. No!"  
Taking three steps, Levi vomited into the kitchen sink. Eren's hand falling limply to the floor. He knew something was off from the moment Levi walked in. He knew it. He hadn't even messaged to say he was coming home... 

Eren winced each time Levi hurled. The sound physically hurt to hear. More than the pain flooding through his body as he used the kitchen counter to pull himself up. Between his legs was wet and sticky, his knees barely holding him. He literally only made it up, to stumble into Levi as he wasn't able to support his own weight at all. His alpha forced to catch him   
"Levi..."  
Wrapping his arms around him, Levi buried his face against his neck   
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry..."  
Repeating the words, Levi sounded broken.

 

*  
Screaming himself awake, Eren promptly vomited across the blankets. His chest heaving as his pup kicked like crazy. Trying to escape Levi's bed, Eren's legs twisted in the sheets, causing him to fall painfully on his back as he fought with all he had, while dragging himself into the corner of the room. Just a nightmare. It was just a nightmare. He needed to breathe. Breathe... air... he couldn't get enough air... why was it so hot? With a miserable whimper, he clutched at his stomach. It'd been a nightmare. It hadn't happened like that. No. No... it hadn't happened like that. He needed to remember. Levi... Levi had come home... and they'd... they'd had sex... because Levi was upset. He'd... work... the omega at work... he hadn't meant to hurt him. He'd stopped the moment Eren had said finally been able to say it hurt. He didn't... Levi hadn't knotted him. He hadn't hurt him... he'd scared him, and he'd cried. He remembered holding Levi as he sobbed. He remembered the stink of the smoke on him, and the alcohol on his breath. Oh fuck... vomiting again, this time it landed down his front. The bedroom light blinding him as Levi turned it on, his alpha rushing to him  
"Eren!"  
"Lee... Levi"  
He sounded every bit as miserable as he felt, his misery growing at the pained look on Levi's face. His alpha had been broken when he'd realised he'd mounted him so forcefully. It's taken what seemed to be hours to make Levi understand he wasn't mad, just worried over him  
"I'm so sorry"  
"Levi..."  
Reaching for his alpha, Levi lifted him with ease. Unable to stop himself, he shivered in Levi's hold as his body tensed  
"Oh, Eren"  
"N-nightmare"  
"Was it about me?"  
"Y-you were hurt and I couldn't help you"  
It was true. In his nightmare Levi was hurt-ing. His fiancée bit his bottom lip, his face still so filled with pain that it hurt. 

Carried into the bathroom, Levi helped him out his soiled clothes. His alpha's hands shaking as he did. Levi had had the shittiest day imaginable and this hadn't helped at all. His fiancée had been forced to stand back as an omega and their child burned to death... the alpha having taken off to save himself. They'd still been alive when they'd reach the scene, an apartment fire in a not so great part of the city. Levi had sobbed for the omega and child, tearfully admitting that all he'd seen was Eren and their pup. He'd been so angry at the alpha that he'd punched the fridge hard enough to dent it, and to split his knuckles open in the process. And now his fiancée blamed himself for his nightmare  
Reaching up, Eren pulled Levi to him, his fiancée felt like ice in his hold  
"I love you"  
"I love you too"  
Levi's voice was thick with emotion. His alpha didn't deserve the pain he was feeling. No one did  
"Can we take a bath?"  
"You want to take a bath with me?"  
"Mhmm"  
"But I..."  
"Went a little crazy"  
"I hurt you"  
"You didn't mean to. You just wanted to be connected to me. To feel me, right?"  
"It doesn't..."  
"Levi. I understand. I know what you wanted. You wanted to feel what you feel when you knot me. To know I'm safe and yours"  
Levi's tears dripped into his hair as his name bowed his head   
"I couldn't do anything! I heard their screams"  
Eren cringed. He could feel Levi's pain from their bond, the coldness spreading through his body like he was an ice bath. Their pup was still going crazy inside him. His stomach rolling and cramping, but he really needed Levi to listen. He didn't know if he was making himself understood. His mouth moving on it's own, which so far had been everything he wanted to say  
"Please... I want you to hold me"

Levi was quiet in the bath. Eren would have preferred to be the one holding the alpha, instead of being held. Helping him out the bath, Levi had insisted on checking his aching arse. Getting teary all over again when realised he'd slightly torn him. After that, Levi had applied some kind of cream to the area, and helped him into his bed. Leaving to retrieve some pain killers to help with the tenderness of his arse and back. It'd hurt way more than he'd ever tell Levi. His fiancée wouldn't stop apologising. The look on his face too much for Eren to bear. Pulling Levi down, he had to half climb onto his alpha for his mate to get the message that he wanted him there.

Perhaps it was because of the painkillers, but Eren slept through until lunch time the following day, waking up to find himself alone. Levi was still home, which was apparently mandatory after such a traumatic incident. First heading to the toilet, it was hard to ignore the blood that had crusted to his underwear in his sleep... and even harder to hide the evidence as Levi has emptied the clothes basket while he slept. In the end, he wrapped his underwear in his shirt, and changed into a fresh pair, before then wandering back out the bathroom to retrieve a shirt from his and Levi's room. Levi was laying on their bed, his mate looking incredibly small. Grabbing the first random shirt his hand hit from his side of the wardrobe, he slipped it on awkwardly  
"Levi?"  
Turning to look at him, Levi looked gutted. Dark bags hung under his eyes, while his whole body seemed to be covered in sweat. He knew those symptoms all too well  
"Have you eaten?"  
"I'm not hungry"  
Rolling away, Eren sighed to himself   
"Can we have breakfast together?"  
"If you're hungry, go ahead"  
"I want to eat with you"  
"Not now, Eren! I want to be alone"  
"You need to eat"  
"I'm not hungry!"

Eren's whole 33 weeks pregnant frame heaved as he started to cry  
"Please, Levi. Don't push me away"  
"I... I'm sorry"  
"Please... I'll be good. Just... come eat something"  
"Eren, I can't. Ok?"  
"No! Don't you see what you're doing? You had nightmares last night and you didn't even want me to know"  
"How could I tell you?"  
"I'm your mate! You're supposed to rely on me!"  
Since when was he shrieking like a crazy person?  
"I hurt you"  
"Because you're not hurting me now?!"  
Finally his boyfriend climbed to sit up   
"I don't trust myself not to hurt you again. I'm sorry. I don't know what to do"  
"You need to eat"  
His tone dropped down to a sad sniffle  
"I guess you're right"  
Climbing off their bed, Levi avoided his hand as he reached for him. Maybe he wasn't the right person to help his mate? What did he know? He knew how much it hurt to see someone die in front of you. And how much it hurt to hear their screams. And how shit nightmares were. And how scary it was to freak out only to come back reality and find you've done something fucked up. 

Waddling after Levi, he ignored his alpha's need for person space. Wrapping his arms around him the best he could, he cried into Levi's shirt  
"I love you, Levi. I love you. Please... I know it hurts and it fucking sucks. But I know. Don't push me away"  
"I'm pushing you away for your own safety"  
"There's no where safe if you're not there"  
"I can't control my alpha right now"  
Levi's tone was blunt, but not as cold as it had been in the bedroom  
"Then don't. Let it out. Whatever you need"  
"I need to not hurt you"  
"You're hurting me by pushing me away"  
"What do you want from me?!"  
This time, Eren flinched. Levi had unintentionally knocked him as he turned in his hold. Eren's stomach hitting the corner of the kitchen counter painfully with a hiccuped gasp, it wasn't like it was tender as fuck from being squashed as Levi animalistically mounted him  
"Shit!"  
Eren shook his head,  
"It..."  
"This is why you need to stay away from me. Just... I'm sorry. I need to calm down"  
Abandoning breakfast, Levi stalked back to their room, slamming the door behind him. He really couldn't help Levi. He was terrible omega. His mate was in so much pain, and he couldn't help. Levi didn't want him.

Sinking down on his bed, Eren grabbed his phone off his bedside table. Levi must have put it in there after he'd fallen asleep. Crying softly, he brought up Erwin's name. Whenever Levi was really suffering, it was Erwin he wanted. Not him. If he was honest, he was always jealous of how close they were. Though not Levi's intent, he couldn't help but feel like an outsider. He wanted to be Levi's emotional cornerstone. He wanted to be everything his alpha needed. Erwin answered on the 5th ring, the alpha sighing Levi's name as a question. Explaining that Levi thought he'd hurt him and that the alpha had shut down completely, Erwin told him to stay in his room. He hated it. He hated knowing Levi was right fucking there. He was there and he was hurting. Ending the call, Eren had to force himself up so he could go unlock the apartment door. The pain in his arse and hips only growing worse as he waddled, not to mention the pain in his stomach from the stupid corner of the bench. He was so very over being pregnant. He was done. He wanted the pup out. He was tired of being in constant pain. He was tired of stressing over potential birth complications after he'd stupidly googled the issues extra fluid could cause. But right now, he wanted the pup out so he could hug his fucking fiancée properly. So that he could be there, even if Levi took a swing at him. At least he would have been some kind of comfort. Not fat and useless like he was. 

When Erwin arrived, he had Mike with him. The blond alpha looked as fucked as Levi, while Mike looked just as concerned as he felt. Taking one look at him, it was like Mike saw right through him. The way he was shaking. The sweat across his skin. The way he had to clutch the doorframe so as to remain standing. Leaning over, Mike whispered something in Erwin's ear. The blond's eyes widening as he nodded  
"Hey, Eren. Is Levi in his room?"  
"He's not ok..."  
"Did he tell you what happened?"  
"W-with the omega... he... he lost control for a moment and now he won't talk to me. He thinks he hurt me..."  
Clutching his stomach, Mike was lifting him before he knew what happened   
"Erwin, I'm taking Eren with me. I smell blood"  
"He didn't hurt me... I know what he's going through..."  
Mike shushed him softly, Erwin already back at the apartment door to let them out  
"Alright. Call me the moment you know what's going on"  
He didn't want to leave Levi. Not when his fiancée was breaking down so badly. Whining for his alpha, he kept whining long after Mike had carried him out the apartment door. It didn't even occur to him to be embarrassed about being in a shirt and underwear. He just wanted to go back to Levi.

 

*  
Levi was falling apart. It wasn't like he'd never had a bad day at work, but today. Today was the worst he could remember. Erwin's arms around his waist as he fought to free himself. The omega and their child were so close... but the fire department was forced to pull back. The apartment building was a fucking unmaintained deathtrap... so many people had been injured, so many screaming and confused people... while the omega and their child... all he'd seen was Eren. The future Eren may have had if he'd stayed with Zeke. And the screams... he couldn't get the screams out of his head. They'd been so fucking close. He knew. He knew he could have found them. He knew he could have saved them... but he wasn't a firefighter.

Pacing back and forth, Levi was completely disgusted with himself. He'd lost his head. The moment he'd seen Eren, he'd needed to be with him. He needed to feel connected and know his mate was safe... then... then... he didn't even remember shoving Eren up against the kitchen counter. He didn't remember shoving himself into his mate. He didn't remember anything before Eren asking him to stop. Looking down, he'd been horrified. Bloodied slick covered his dick, more blood trickling from Eren's arse. What he'd done... he couldn't believe it... then he'd broken down. Holding Eren close, he'd sobbed. How could he hurt his precious mate?! How could hurt him like that!? And how could Eren still want him after it. His omega had held like nothing was wrong. Like it was ok. It wasn't ok. It wasn't. He was so fucking angry with himself, that needed to put some space between himself and Eren. Eren was so loving and kind. Eren was his perfect mate... and then he'd hurt him.

Hearing the door open, he'd thought it was Eren... right up until the moment he was knocked on his arse by solid punch. Grabbed by the front of his shirt, he was hurled back up off the floor  
"What the fuck did you do to Eren?!"  
Erwin. When the fuck did Erwin get here?  
Thrown onto his bed, Levi growled, though it was very half heartedly   
"Levi. What the fuck happened here? Eren's so distressed that Mike has taken him from the apartment. He said he could smell blood... but funnily enough, all he wanted was to know you're ok. He even explained it, when he called me. How he can't remember what he does during panic attacks, and how he understands the pain you're in. And how you won't let him fucking help. He said he was useless. What the fuck happened?!"  
"I don't know!"  
Screaming at Erwin, he really didn't   
"I don't know! I don't even remember getting home. I remember seeing Eren and needing him, then I'm fucking behind him and he's bleeding! Ok! I don't know!"  
"So you left him?"  
He hated Erwin's disappointed dad tone. It fucking cut through him like nothing could  
"I didn't leave him. I put some space between us. I didn't want to hurt him, ok. I couldn't calm down and I hurt him"  
"Did you even clean him up? Did you make sure he was alright?"  
"Of course I fucking did. He was bleeding so I cleaned him up... I put him to bed and I gave him a painkillers. Until he woke up fucking screaming, then I had to do it all over again!"  
"So you kept him drugged"  
"I didn't keep him drugged. He was in pain because of me. He was crying and bleeding because of me..."  
"And when he tried to comfort you, you turned him away"  
"Because I didn't want to fucking hurt him!"  
"No, because you're too fucking scared to own up to your own failures! Poor little Levi. Lost everything and now he's running away again"  
"Like you fucking understand!"  
"I must be the only one who does. After all, Eren's never seen anyone die in front of him while feeling powerless"  
"I know he has. That's why I couldn't..."  
"You couldn't possibly talk to the one person who understands you? And how it feels"  
"Look. I already feel fucking shitty as it is"  
"And what is shutting yourself in your room going to accomplish? Eren needs you right now"  
"He needs an alpha who doesn't fucking hurt him"  
"You lost control"  
"And I hurt him"  
This whole conversation was going round in a fucking circle. His already throbbing head wasn't appreciating it all. After putting Eren back to bed, he'd showered and scrubbed himself clean of Eren's scent. He didn't deserve him... not when Eren was acting like this was his fault  
"And you apologised. You regretted what happened and you told him what happened, didn't you?"  
"I did..."  
"Then all you can do is be there for him"  
"I don't deserve him. I never did"  
Picking him back up by his shirt front, Erwin shoved him towards the door  
"What the..."  
"We're going to see Eren"  
"Haven't you been listening?"  
"I have, but honestly, you haven't given me one good reason why I shouldn't take you to see him"  
"I hurt him"  
"And now you're wallowing pathetically in self pity. Eren isn't gone. He isn't dead. He desperately tried not to leave you behind, but you did that to him. You left him behind. You left him"

He didn't want to hurt Eren, or abandon him. He didn't want to leave him behind or lose him. But he felt so fucking revolted with himself. Why couldn't Erwin understand that?

Outside their bedroom, the apartment was filled with Eren's distress. The smell feeling like a gut punch, or perhaps another blow to the face. Eren was distressed, and in pain... but he could tell that he was only feeling that way out of worry for him. Everything Eren was feeling, was out of love for him. He was suffering, so his omega was suffering and empathising with him. Eren had been through so much trauma. He didn't want to dump this on his thin shoulders. He wanted to be the alpha that supported him, no matter what kind of shitty arse day he'd had... it didn't even occur to him he was once again being hypocritical. He'd promised Eren they were equals, yet he'd run from his mate.

Forced into his car, Levi glared at the world. The world outside was overrated. Filled so much hurt and pain that he didn't know why the human race continued to struggle. Scrubbing at his face, he could smell the ugly scent of alcohol in his sweat. Calling Mike, Erwin's voice grated on his nerves. Whisper yelling, Erwin didn't sound happy at all, ending the call with a deep sigh  
"You know how to cause a scene, don't you?"  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
"We're staying at Mike's tonight, and tomorrow we'll take you see Eren"  
"Eren's not with Mike?"  
"He is. Mike took him to hospital"  
"What do you mean, "Mike took him to hospital"?"  
Levi's hands gripped his hair  
"He was bleeding. He told Mike he fell off the bed"  
"He... he was on the floor. He was screaming. He said he had a nightmare"  
A nightmare that was his fault. He could see it. He could feel it when he lifted Eren off the floor, but Eren still wanted him close  
"I want to see him"  
"Levi..."  
"I want to see him. Take me to see him"  
"You missed your chance when you scared the fuck out of him. Tonight, you're going to sleep. You're going to shower and eat and you're going to figure out how the hell you're going to stop this from happening again"  
"We can't all be like you. We can't all turn off our emotions"  
"I didn't shut my emotions off. I was with Mike. What happened today, was horrible and it was unfortunate that the omega and their child died, but you're not responsible. You can't transfer every time you see a hurting omega. They're not all Eren"  
"Don't you think I know that?"  
"Do you? Did you know you were yelling his name as I pulled you away? Did you?"  
No. He had no idea... Maybe he was fucking losing it? Eren was growing every single day, his stomach sitting lower as their pup moved in preparation to be born. His mate was constantly tired, or crying, trying to hide it from him and the pain he was in... but since the baby shower, Eren was working really hard on his books. Especially after his enrolment letter from Shinganshima TAFE had arrived with his booklist and student log in... even the rest of the presents of his baby shower had been put aside. 

Erwin had gone halves with Mike in the massive uniform that now filled the far corner of the nursery. Eren loved the stupid thing, and Levi had to admit he was little jealous of the unicorn until it'd finally migrated out their bed. Hanji had gifted Eren a rocking horse for the pup, and cleaning supplies for him. Mikasa and Armin had gifted Eren a series of framed school photos. Well, it was 6. Preprimary. Then years 1,2,3,4,5. Up to the year Eren's life went to shit. They'd once again returned a tiny piece of Eren's past to him. Petra hadn't gifted Eren anything, but Eren got to apologise for yelling at her, which made his omega happy. From Eld and Gunther, a onesie that said "Thank God I Look Like My Mum", and a second one "Daddy's a Paramedic". Eren getting a small laugh out of them. When they'd gotten home that night, they'd shopped online, stocking up on nappies, wipes, more pillows for Eren, and soft toys. Eren had also made him promise in front of the others that he wouldn't subject him to any more driving lessons until after the pup was born. Despite Eren telling him not to spend any more money on him, he "upgraded" his laptop, and gifted Eren his old one. Which was barely used as it was. With a small white lie that it was for work, his mate had accepted the gift, and like every task Eren had ever come up against, Eren had been able to conquer the basics of it within the week.

"Levi!"  
Snapping out of it, he wearily looked to Erwin   
"What?"  
"Did you hear me?"  
"No"  
"I said I'm worried about you"  
"Don't be"  
"We have our psych eval tomorrow"  
Tomorrow? Wasn't it supposed be three days after the incident? Was it three? He couldn't remember... but if it'd been two days already, Eren had been sleeping way too much... and he really had abandoned him...  
"It's fine"  
"It's not fine. You really owe Eren"  
"I know I do"

Mike's house always left him off kilter. The place was organised chaos, leaving him with the constant itch to clean, while also respecting the man's system. Sent to shower, Erwin had food waiting when returned, though Levi had no appetite. He just wanted to go see Eren. Or at least talk to Mike about how his mate was. There was tearing, but it hadn't looked that severe... hell, he'd had more trauma from their nights together, especially when Eren was horny. Him bleeding... it didn't sit well in his gut, leaving him with a rolling sensation that threatened to have him vomiting again. Fed and clean, he and Erwin spent a few quite hours watching TV. He could feel Erwin's eyes on him the whole time, but he had nothing to say to him. His own fears had gotten the worst of him, and he'd tried to bind Eren to him in an act of mad desperation. Unable to stand it any longer, he stalked off to the spare room, throwing himself down onto the bed with an angry growl. Erwin was right. Eren wasn't dead. He wasn't gone. He wasn't going to leave him behind again.

 

*  
The sun was obnoxiously high as Levi woke with a start. He'd been back there. Erwin holding him back as he fought. The smell of thick acrid smoke. The cries of confusion. He'd wanted to save them. He'd felt like he needed to. It was cruel. It was so fucking cruel. The alpha had been taken away by the police, but that didn't mean anything. Wiping the sweat from his forehead, he sucked down a few deep breath, feeling completely wrecked and freezing cold. He didn't know what time Erwin had come and collected him, only that he hadn't meant to fall asleep. He couldn't sleep. Not without seeing them. He was supposed to be at the hospital with Eren. He was only supposed to pretend to be sleeping until he heard Erwin go to bed, then he was going to grab his keys. 

Groggily he pushed himself up, realising that the weight on his hip wasn't just his imagination. Laying with his head against his leg, Eren was snoring softly. His hand clutching his pants. He hadn't even heard his mate come in, or come home. Back to Mike's. Whatever. He hadn't heard it. Stroking Eren's hair, the omega purred softy, nuzzling his leg as he did  
"I'm so fucking sorry. I got so fucking scared that I'd lose you. I can't lose you. You're the only good thing in my life. You. Nothing else, Eren"  
Whispering the words, he didn't expect to be fucking sprung  
"You did nothing wrong"  
Eren's voice was soft and sleepy  
"You're awake?"  
Nodding, Eren yawned loudly  
"Mmm. Felt you stroking my hair. I was worried about you"  
"I'm so fucking sorry"  
"I don't want to hear you say sorry..."  
What was that supposed to mean? Levi's heart skipping a beat as his stomach seemed to drop  
"... I just want to know how you feel. I know how much it sucks, but I want to be here with you"  
Oh... he was a fucking moron. Eren was saying the same things he said to him...  
"I know. I was just... so fucking angry. With the alpha. With Erwin. With myself for not helping. I needed space, but I hurt you before and that just... made me feel even worse"  
"I talked to Erwin this morning. He told me how he had to hold you back"  
Levi groaned. Erwin didn't need to be telling Eren embarrassing shit like that   
"I feel like a fucking idiot"  
"You were... what would I have done if I lost you? What would I tell our pup? He's going to be here soon. How am I supposed to raise him without you?"  
"I'm..."  
"I know you're sorry. I know..."  
Dragging himself up, Eren snaked an arm around him. His green eyes were staring with his with such sincerity, it hurt  
"I missed you"  
"I missed you too. Are you alright? Is the pup alright? Mike... Mike said you were bleeding?"  
"We're both ok. I mean, I wouldn't be here if I wasn't"  
"Are you sure? Erwin made it sound like you were supposed to stay overnight"  
"It's fine. I don't want to talk about me. I want to talk about you"  
Levi shook his head  
"Don't give me that. I know you're still hurting"  
"I fucked up and hurt you"  
"Levi, stop. How many times have I done something stupid?"  
"It's not the same"  
"Really? Because I've never had a meltdown where I've hit you, or given screamed at you? Or literally kicked you out of bed while having a nightmare"   
Levi shook his head again. He felt like fucking shit. Like shit smeared over a sidewalk, then trampled all over  
"It's the same. You didn't mean to. You just wanted me. You were hurting and you wanted me. Nothing you say is going to change that"  
"I love you, Levi. I'm ok. I'm not going anywhere. I'm ok"  
"I couldn't help but think if you'd stayed with Zeke that might have happened to you. I can't keep seeing you in every omega"  
"You do because you care so much. You know how shit everyone treats omegas, and you want better for them. You want to give them all a voice and help them. You were the first truly kind alpha I met... and when you're hurting, I want to be there for you. I want to know why you're hurting and what you feel"  
"I don't want you to worry about me"  
"Saying that. Watching you struggle. It only makes me worry more"  
Levi tried to deflect with awkward humour that fell flat  
"I'm the alpha, brat. I've got 15 years on you"  
"And? You do know there's no time limit to pain"  
"Maybe I should take time off early..."  
"Is that what you want?"  
"I don't know. Fuck"  
Eren yawned as his hand took his, pulling to down to his stomach as he nuzzled Levi's chest. Splaying his fingers, he kept his hand there. Eren deserved a life of all the belly rubs he wanted   
"I think you should. What you saw, it was horrific. Being there and unable to help... you feel completely useless. And wonder what good you are at all"  
"I wish you didn't know those feelings"  
"I do. Probably better than anyone else. I wish you'd could see that I want to be there for you"  
"I know you do"  
Eren reached up, Levi momentarily dazed as he was flicked him on the forehead  
"Then you should talk to me more"  
"And say what?"  
"That I've had a shit day at work so give me cuddles"  
Levi kissed the top of Eren's head   
"We've both had a few shit days, and I wouldn't say no to cuddles"  
"Better. I want cuddles, but I'm probably going to fall asleep. They gave me shots and they leave you sleepy"  
"Shots?"  
Eren mumbled something as he tried to wriggle closer. His mate smelt like the hospital. Way too clean and sterile... the last thing he wanted. He couldn't tell anything where Eren was wearing scent cancellers. Huffing first, he then yawned before finally making some sense  
"Mmm... preterm labour. Mike made stay there until they kicked in. They made me stay all night"  
Wait. What?! Eren said he'd fallen off the bed, and Erwin said he'd bled... was he missing something? Or was Eren more asleep than awake? Or was he falling asleep? Shaking Eren's shoulder, his omega groaned at him   
"Eren. Eren, what do you mean by that?"  
"He's ok... I'm on bedrest... my water didn't break... I'm sorry, but we got back not long before you woke up... or I woke up. Promise you won't leave?"  
"I'm not going anywhere"  
"Good. Because I'd have to chase you down again... but then again... I can't do much... they said he might come early. I don't want him to come early... even if I'm over being pregnant"  
Yeah. Eren was definitely about to fall asleep. He was babbling as he did when he was really sleep  
"You won't have to chase me, and he's going to be just fine. Ok?"  
"Mmm... gonna sleep now. You sleep too. I love you, Lee"  
"I love you too"

 

Levi didn't dare fall back to sleep. He didn't want to risk another nightmare with Eren laying so close. Ignoring his bladder, he rubbed small circles on Eren's stomach. His labour couldn't have progressed far. Not if he was back so soon. But was it soon? With the sun so high in the sky, he had no idea how long he'd slept. Growling at the knock on the door, Levi's fingertips dug into Eren's stomach as he tried to protect his pup. Watching the door open, Mike stuck his head in  
"Oh, good. You're awake. I've come to check on Eren"  
"Aren't you forgetting something?"  
Mike frowned  
"No. But you smell angry"  
"What is this shit about Eren going into labour?!"  
Whisper yelling at the man, Eren whined in his hold. Levi forcing himself to lighten his hold on Eren's swell  
"He worked himself up so much that he was labour by the time we arrived at your apartment. We gave him two shots to stop the labour, and a shot of steroids to help with the pup's lung development. We did ask if he wanted the drugs or the stitch in his cervix, but he said he didn't want to be opened up down there again"  
"And you didn't think to tell me?"  
"You were asleep. Erwin covered for you at your psych eval"  
"You should have woke me"  
"It was clear you needed your rest. You slept a respectable 30 hours"  
No wonder he needed to fucking piss like a racehorse  
"Anyway. We monitored Eren, and his labour was halted. He's on bed rest for the next two weeks, though given everything, he may not even make it that far before going into labour again. As you know, we'd prefer to stop the labour before 37 weeks"  
He was going to be a father so soon  
"What about the bleed? And the extra fluid?"  
"As you know, fluid does leak. He has lost some fluid, not a lot, but some. He has a very mild placental abruption, which may have been caused by him falling off the bed and landing on his back"  
"For fuck's sake. First a fucking cyst. Then the extra fluid and now this..."  
"Males are prone to much more complicated pregnancies than females. I know you know this"  
"I do. It's just so fucking frustrating"  
Mike laughed   
"It really is. He was asking about you the whole time. If you'd be ok with Erwin, or if we were going to come back to find you'd killed each other. By the look of it, he got a hit in"  
"He what?"  
Mike tapped just under his left eye   
"Black eye"  
"Oh... I forgot about that"  
"Well, I can take a look"  
"No. I deserved it. Um... about his..."  
"Tearing? No signs of infection. There will be discomfort, which is why I'm telling you no sex. I feel like I only just told you that"  
"That was a month and a half ago"  
Mike let out a whistle  
"Wow. I didn't think it was that long. Do you want to wake him up for me? I'll be right back"

It wasn't like Mike was actually giving him a choice. Kissing Eren's hair, he shook his mate's shoulder  
"Eren?"  
"Five more minutes"  
"I'm sorry. Mike wants to take a look at you, to make sure you and the pup are alright"  
"But I'm sleepy"  
"I know. You also probably need to pee?"  
Eren growled  
"I didn't until you mentioned it"  
"I'm sorry"  
"If you were really sorry, you would go pee for me"  
"I need to pee too. So I would, if I could"  
"Mmmm. I guess I have to move"  
"Yeah. I'm sorry"  
"You don't have to keep apologising. You're starting to sound too much like me"  
"I can't help it. I love you"  
"Likely story... god. I don't want to move"  
"I'll carry you"  
"No... it's ok. I'm a little stiff"

Eren's version of a little stiff had him shuffling around like an old man. If he moved too fast, he yelped, and if he didn't remain hunched, he whimpered. Letting him use the bathroom first, the omega looked exhausted as he made his way back to the guest bedroom where Mike was now waiting. Taking a third of the time Eren did, Levi took care of business, before washing his face and trying to resemble something vaguely human. He needed to shave. Fine stubble covered his chin and jaws, with more than one stray white hair mixed in there. God. For someone who'd been asleep for so long, he really didn't look well at all. Finishing up, he returned to the spare bedroom. Eren was sitting on the bed, with a blood pressure cuff around his arm  
"How's he doing?"  
Eren pouted   
"He said he wants to make sure I haven't dilated further"  
"I know you don't like it, but would you rather Mike do it here, or at the hospital"  
"I'd rather he didn't do it all"  
When the portable blood pressure machine beeped, Mike nodded at it   
"Good. The sedatives have helped. Given they knocked you right out, I'm going to decrease the dose, but I want you to remember to take them at night"  
Something else he didn't know about   
"Sedatives?"  
"To help him have a dreamless sleep. We need him as calm and relaxed as possible"  
Sedatives ran the risk of accidents... he'd have to make sure Eren peed before going to bed...  
"Alright"

Walking over, Levi sank down on the bed next to Eren. His fiancée wrapping his arms around him and ignoring Mike's sigh as he did  
"What happened to your face?"  
"The hair? It's what happens when you don't shave"  
"I know that. I meant with your eye?"  
"Oh. I got into a fight with Erwin"  
"Did you at least punch him back?"  
"No. It's nothing to worry about"  
"It is when you're physically hurt"  
"I'm fine. I'm more interested in hearing how you are?"  
Eren jumped when Mike placed the ear thermometer in place, the machine taking a few moments to beep  
"His stats seem ok. Just the exam to go"  
"Why?"  
"To make sure you haven't dilated further"  
Eren had just told him that...  
"I know why. I mean. I feel okish... as ok as I can while being like this"  
"I know you get Braxton-Hicks, but I just need to make sure your body didn't send a few more real contractions your way while you slept"  
"Contractions can get fucked"  
Mike raised an eyebrow, while Levi stifled a laugh  
"Don't you both laugh. You're not omegas. Being kicked in the balls hurts less. Hell. I'm sure even having your junk tied to a towball and being dragged along by a car would be less painful"  
Levi sobered immediately   
"Is that normal?"  
"His body was in overdrive with worry for his fiancée"  
Levi blinked, looking to Eren's face in confusion   
"You told him?"  
"No. I thought you did?"  
"I had insider knowledge. Eren was pretty out of it when we got to the hospital. One of the nurses asked who Levi, was to keep him talking and Eren replied his fiancée"  
"That doesn't count! I was tricked"  
Levi didn't give two shits. He was a proud alpha who's omega was bragging that he was his fiancée   
"I don't mind the world knowing"  
"But we were going to keep everyone guessing"  
Mike laughed   
"I won't tell them. How long has it been?"  
"Just over a month. Eren proposed"  
"I guess that means Hanji and Erwin need to pay up"  
Shyly, Eren bit his lip   
"I don't mind telling them. It feels good to say you're my fiancée"  
"Are you sure? We don't need to rush things"  
"I'm sure if you're sure... unless you don't want to"  
"No. I mean. I don't mind"  
"As sweet as this is, this isn't getting you out of that examination"  
Eren whined miserably. Levi pressing a kiss to his lips to stop him. His mate's eyes were already filling with tears. Ending the kiss, Levi nuzzled Eren's cheek  
"Don't worry. It's mostly a cursory exam"  
"I'm sick of being touched. No offence, Mike. I feel... like it's them"  
"Do you want me to?"  
"Can you?"  
Levi looked to Mike  
"Is that alright?"  
"He was roughly a centimetre dilated when he arrived at hospital"  
"Ok..."  
"Examine him only. Blow jobs are alright, but nothing strenuous and nothing while you're staying here, and not right away"

Levi couldn't help his nausea as he looked at the tears of Eren's arse. His mate didn't seem to be dilated further, but he was wondering if Mike should have checked instead... then for some stupid reason, his mind decided to leap to wondering if Eren actually understood more about omega births than both of them... being stuck in a fucking cult, after all. His mate had probably also know about using a stitch to help prevent preterm labour, as well as drugs. Maybe he'd even helped his father treat omegas? Sure. The company wanted the pups as soon as possible, but they were "useless" if they weren't well. He wanted to ask, but Mike insisted that Eren needed to eat to regain his strength and just like that, the moment was over. Fuck. Eren was right. There was no way he was going to be able to concentrate at work if he was constantly worried about Eren going into labour again.


	57. Chapter 57

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dunnnn

Jolted awake again, Levi growled. He was so fucking done with his boss. Sure. We can give you mental health leave, but first we need you to finish your shifts, then we need you to go see our counsellor, get declared crazy and then, we might be able to give you leave next month... and then we're going to send you to another therapist because we don't agree with the first assessment. Levi wasn't happy. He felt like a corroded rubber band stretched too tight. He couldn't stop thinking about Eren, to the point his omega had started ignoring his messages when he was supposed to start working. His fiancée was tired, and clingy, repeatedly apologising for taking up all his attention, and the repeated trips to the bathroom, that meant dozing rather than sleeping properly didn't fucking help. He was exhausted... and last night... he'd slightly over done it in the need to blow off some steam. And who could say no with Eren in their lap  
"Late night?"  
"Is it still a late night when you haven't fucking slept?"  
"Is Eren alright?"  
Eren... yeah... his omega was...  
"He's fine"  
Levi's tone was unintentionally bitter. Eren had managed to keep to the no sex memo for four days... but last night... things sort of progressed. One moment he was helping Eren lactate... purely because Eren was in so much pain... cough... the next he was buried in his sopping wet omega. And sex happened... a lot of sex happened... his dick still tender from the previous night. They'd gone at it like rabbits all over their apartment until Levi remembered, they weren't even supposed to be having sex in the first place. But by then it was a little bit late. The bed was a mess, he'd bitten Eren's nape and shoulders red, while Eren was purring up a storm  
"He's fine? No complications or bleeds? No fights?"  
Fight. Yeah. More like a fucking attack...  
"Erwin, he's fine. Stop it"  
"Mike said he's happy to examine Eren..."  
"I swear to god, I'll kill you"  
Erwin laughed, not giving two shits about his icy scowl. Couldn't bushy brows fucking let him sleep?!  
"Fine. Fine. Did they authorise your leave?"  
"Would I be here if they did? They said I have to finish my shifts and then maybe, just maybe, I'll get time off next month"  
"That's not right"  
No fucking shit  
"Well, apparently their shrink doesn't think I'm crazy enough"  
"Have you been to see Krista?"  
"When have I had time?"  
"Off shift?"  
"Sure. Because I don't have Eren to look after when I get home"  
"Hey, if you need a break, Hanji is always happy to step in"  
"I thought we didn't want him going into labour before 37 weeks"  
"Hanji's not about to send him into labour"  
"Sometimes I feel like we aren't talking about the same person"  
"She is super excited about your engagement, so you may have a point"

Oh. Yeah. That was a thing. Coming home from Mike's, they'd made their engagement Facebook official, setting the date back to original date Eren had proposed. Hanji had lost her shit, spamming the fuck out of them for not telling her sooner, while Eren hadn't wanted to deal with any of it. Ignoring her completely in favour of belly rubs and cuddles. The sedatives Mike had given Eren to help him sleep helped the first two nights, though left Eren with a constant headache and nosebleed of impressive proportions, so Levi had binned them...  
"Did you two remember to pay Mike?"  
"Hanji says all bets are void thanks to you two already being engaged"  
"And what does Mike say?"  
"That I can work off my debt in his bed"  
Ew... he didn't need to think that  
"That might work with you, but what about Hanji?"  
"You know Mike's more than happy to let me work her debt off too"  
"I really didn't need to know that"  
"You're the one who asked"  
"Mostly because I'm sick of you asking about Eren"  
"I'm just worried for you both"  
"We're engaged. He's going to give birth by the end of the month. We're bonded..."  
"Eren is?"  
Levi frowned. He was certain Erwin knew, or he was fucking with him  
"I feel like I told you that they're going to give him a c-section before the end of the month if he doesn't go into labour"  
"Have you stocked up?"  
"On?"  
"Everything? Nappies? Wipes? Milk?"  
Levi's mind flicked to the previous night and the milk dribbling down his chin... while Eren rocked on his leg, soaking his pants with slick and cum  
"Organised"  
"How about Christmas presents? Have you got him something yet? In case he's in labour and doesn't get to celebrate Christmas at home"  
"He's sorting tree ornaments today. I dragged it all out for him the other day"  
Actually, Eren was probably sleeping. He'd asked for the tree before everything had gone down, but he'd firmly told his fiancée not to put the tree up on alone. He kind of hoped he wasn't napping, on the off chance he could get a full nights sleep  
"Alone?"  
"He's fine. Ok. My phone hasn't gone off. Your phone hasn't gone off. Mike's phone hasn't gone off. As for Christmas shopping, I showed him how to shop online"  
"That's him, I was asking about you"  
He was trying to find something perfect and it was yet to happen...  
"I'm getting there"  
"Levi..."  
"What the fuck do you want from me Erwin!? I'm trying my fucking hardest. They won't give me time off work. Eren needs constant attention or he'll push himself too hard. The pup's going to be here by the end of the month and I'm fucking exhausted. So just back the fuck off"

Pulling off to the side of the road. Erwin climbed from the ambulance. Walking around, he opened the passenger side door  
"Get out"  
"What?"  
"Get out"  
"Why the fuck would do I do that?"  
"Just get out already"  
Cursing Erwin, Levi nearly whimpered as he jumped down from the ambiance. He was so fucking tired that everything fucking hurt. Pulling out his cigarettes, Erwin pulled two from the pack, lighting them both before handing him one  
"What?"  
"You fucking need it"  
"What I need is more fucking time between now and Eren going into labour"  
"Give him a call"  
"What?"  
"Call him and let him know you'll be home late"  
"He'll worry..."  
"And you'll explode if you keep up like this"  
"I don't have a fucking choice"  
Choking on the smoke filling his lungs, he was pretty sure the cigarette wasn't solving any off his issues, but fuck... it helped   
"Then I'll call him"  
"No. It's fine"  
"It's not fine. You're working yourself into..."  
"Give it rest"  
"What would Eren think?"  
"Erwin, I'm fucking warning you. I have a headache the size of your fucking ego"

Erwin let him finish cigarette, before starting again  
"I'm just saying. Eren would be disappointed to see you like this. You don't have to try do this alone"  
"I can't fucking do anything about it. Work won't give me time off. I'm supposed to be starting parental leave next week, but that isn't happening either. And that's been booked since I came back to work"  
"Levi. Just stop and take a breath"  
"I don't have time to"  
"You're going to burn yourself out. What if Eren..."  
Erwin was sounding like a broken record. Sick of it, he opened he passenger side door, only for Erwin to stop him half way up his step. Pulled down, he growled, kicking out. Erwin gut punching him as he went... both alpha's dropping each other, because by some miracle, his foot had found Erwin's balls. Glaring at each other, Erwin was the first to crack. Starting to laugh, he clutched his crotch with a whimper  
"Fuck"  
"You asked for it"  
Levi felt like he was drooling like an idiot  
"You need to slow down"  
"Pup's aren't cheap"  
"No. But what's Eren going to do if you work yourself into a heart attack"  
"Then tell me what to do"  
"I'll talk to human resources. Give Eren a call and let him know you'll be a little late"  
"Fine... fuck. Between that punch and that cigarette, I would say you're trying to do me in"  
"I'll be nice and let you recover before you call him"  
"Fuck you"  
"Nah. You've got Eren for that"  
"That's true..."  
He didn't regret the smugness that bled into his tone. Erwin and Mike night have an open relationship of sorts, but what he had with Eren... that was something he'd never be able to put into words. Even though he'd been partially regretting the night before, one thought of Eren's dripping opening... and fuck. He wanted to be fucking buried balls deep in him.

Recovered enough to crawl back into the ambulance, Levi pulled out his phone. Erwin watching as he opened up Eren's contact details and called his mate. It took a few moments before Eren answered  
"Levi. What's wrong?"  
Eren's voice was shaking   
"Oh. Nothing. I was just ringing to see if you're ok"  
"I'm ok. I was hoping you'd ring. I'm just sitting under that flocked blanket..."  
Eren sounded pained... he was emphasising words as in moaning in pain, without the actual moaning. Levi drew his brow in concern   
"Are you alright? You don't sound alright"  
"Like I said, I was hoping you'd ring. I really like this flocked blanket... but more importantly, what time are you getting home?"  
"Oh... I'm going to be a little late"  
"Ok. Cool. I got my first Christmas delivery today. I wasn't expecting it. But if you're going to be late, I guess it can wait"  
His omega was being weird  
"Eren. Are you sure everything's ok?"  
"Yeah. Take your time coming home. I know what you're like, jumping the gun and all. I love you"  
"I love you too"  
The call ended. Levi still frowning deeply  
"What is it? What's wrong?"  
"Something's off with Eren"  
Erwin sighed  
"You're probably being paranoid"  
"I don't know..."  
"What did he say?"  
"That he was hoping I'd ring and that he's sitting under his flocked blanket"  
"That doesn't sound like anything to worry about"  
"It's the way he said it, like he was in pain. Then he told me not to jump the gun on the way home"  
"We can call by, if you want?"  
"No. No. He said he got a Christmas delivery today. He's probably being weird because of that"  
"It was just weird. He started talking about how he liked his flocked blanket. He said it twice..."  
"Look. He probably just forgot he'd mentioned it"  
Levi wasn't sure. Something felt off...  
"It's fine. You're over thinking things. You probably feel guilty as you're doing something for yourself"  
"He sounded pained"  
"Possible Braxton-hicks, or he could have twinged his back. I bet he didn't wait to do the Christmas tree"  
"I wouldn't put it past him. He saved some of Isabel's old ornaments. I think Christmas is is his favourite holiday of the year"  
"Too bad he can't perk your mood up over it all"

"I don't know. Last year was pretty good"  
"I seem to remember you being shoved into an ugly sweater, and not being too happy about it"  
"But before that, Eren was a naughty little ho. He made me birthday cake, sang happy birthday. Made a fuss about it being something other than Christmas"  
"So, he's busy planning this years costume?"  
"Not this year. He's too swollen for that"  
In more ways than one. Eren's back had been tender for a long time now. Maybe he had just been trying to hide how uncomfortable he really was, so that Levi wouldn't worry? If so, he'd done a fucking shit job of it.

Work unfortunately picked up, and Levi swore they'd been called to the exact same house the previous year, for the exact same reason. People can't hang Christmas lights without getting the urge to throw themselves off their own roof. It was fucking frustrating. Though he'd told Erwin he'd take some time at the end of his shift, he couldn't be fucking bothered. Even if it meant possibly snapping at Eren, he was far too tired. He just wanted a fucking shower and to collapse in bed for a year. Or at least until Eren went into labour. He could barely keep his eyes open. The lights of Shinganshima seemed blinding to his poor sensitive eyes, the red brake lights in front of him were the worst. They seemed to bore right into his brain.

Parking in his bay, Levi literally fell out his car. He was fucking dead on his feet. If Eren wanted sex or cuddles, he was going to have to do all the work while Levi slept. Or maybe he could play with his toys... shit. No. He wanted to watch that. Locking his car, the alpha made the conscious effort to drag himself towards the elevator. The stupid thing way too far away from his parking bay. Prodding the shitty button, Levi hefted out a groan. It annoyed him to no end when people continued to poke at buttons once pressed, like in elevators or at crosswalks, but today he just wanted the stupid thing to reach the parking basement already.

Too tried for his senses to realise anything was wrong, Levi didn't even feel it coming until an arm wrapped around his neck, a hand over his mouth as something was burning at his nose and throat. Kicking and snarling, whoever behind him was wearing a scent canceller, and way bigger than he was. He felt like a small pup in their arms as he was lifted by his neck... unconscious before he even know what happened to him.

 

*  
Growling his was back into consciousness, Levi felt like someone had taken a baseball bat to his head... and the rest of him. Instinctively, he tried to raise his hand to his aching head, only to find he couldn't move. Snapping his eyes open, Levi growled again. His gut felt like it was on fire. His back and hips throbbing in time with his own heartbeat   
"There he is. You took so long, I thought you were going to miss the main event"  
Levi froze. He knew that voice. Sucking a deep breath down, he nearly heaved at the stink in the air. God. What the fuck had happened to him? Blinking, the world slowly came into focus. Strapped down to the dining chair he was in, Eren was staring at him with pained eyes. Something was wrong with his mate. He could smell it. He could feel it. With Eren to his left, he swallowed hard as he looked to the right, vomiting into his mouth as he did. A very dead Bertholdt sat there... fuck. Fuck... at the opposite end, the head of the clumsily dressed table, sat Reiner. The gun in the man's hand was pointed right at Eren   
"What the fuck?! How fucking dare you come into our fucking apartment and how fucking dare you point a gun at my fucking mate! I'm going to fucking kill you!"  
Struggling against his bindings, Reiner just laughed   
"Now, is that anyway to treat your host. Maybe I need to give you a lesson in manners?"  
Levi's eyes narrowed, his chest heaving as he panted and growled   
"I'm going to fucking kill you!"  
Lowering the gun beneath the table, Reiner pulled the trigger. Eren's shriek only angered him further as flash of pain flashed his gut  
"What was that? Need I remind you, I have the power here"  
"Leave him alone!"  
"Why would I do that? Did he tell you what he did? What his father did? He took my mate away, and now I'm going to make him watch as I take his away"  
Eren shrieked  
"You killed by fucking brother!"  
"You killed my fucking mate"  
Rising from the table, Reiner walked around to wrap his arms around Bertholdt. Stroking the corpses stringy hair, he looked so pained  
"He didn't want things to be like this. Why did you do it Eren? Why did he have to die?"  
"He tried to kill me! He tried to kill my baby! You were there! You could have stopped him!"  
"And what? They would have killed us!"  
"You were helping them torture omegas!"  
"We had no choice!"  
"You always have a choice!"  
"Like you. You could have kept your mouth shut. You could have handed over your baby. But the moment you found out you were pregnant, it became the Eren show all over again. You know what you are? You're a parasite. You suck the life from all those around you. Your mum. Your dad. Your brother. Your friends. And those omegas. What do you think happened to those omegas? Do you really think the church let them go so easily? All you did was lead them to their slaughter!"  
Eren paled, his omega shaking his head  
"No! No. We helped them!"  
"You helped them to their death. Their rotten bloated corpses are still in that forest. All those children are dead because you selfishly wanted your child. Bertholdt is dead because of you! Why should you get to be engaged?! Why should you get to be with happy? You did this Eren! You killed them! You killed him!"  
"All I wanted was to go home! I wanted them to go home! Bertholdt was the one who came after me! He could have run! You both could have escaped while the main building burnt! You had to know they were all dead in there! You had to know dad killed them..."  
"What home? Tell me Eren, what home do you think that cattle had? You ruined their lives. You ruin everything. You're fucking ruined everything! Now you're going to sit there while your pup dies inside you. Then, you're going to watch as I kill your mate"  
Lifting Bertholdt's rotting body, the stench was incredible. Eren throwing up down his side, while Levi fought not to. Reiner had lost his mind with grief. He was an alpha who'd lost his mate and lost his mind as he did. Carrying Bertholdt from the room, Levi renewed his struggles. He needed to get Eren the fuck out of here  
"Eren, what happened? Are you ok? Did he hurt you?"  
"He... I thought it was something I ordered... please tell me you called Floch?!"  
"What? What does Floch have to do with this?"  
Eren groaned   
"Really?! I tried to fucking tell you!"  
"You didn't!..."  
"You really think I was talking about Floch-ed blankets for nothing! Or gunning home?!"  
Levi groaned at himself   
"I thought you were the smart one!"  
"Me! Why didn't you just... fucking tell me you were in trouble!"  
"He has a fucking gun! I tried!"  
Eren whimpered, his head rolling back   
"Eren?"  
"Don't fucking talk to me!"  
"Don't yell at me!"  
"Fuck off!"  
"What are you getting so mad at me for? It's not my fault I didn't get your cryptic fucking message"  
"What was I supposed to say? Reiner was right there?"  
"I don't know! Just... how's the pup?"  
"Oh. Fan-fucking-tastic!"

Levi almost would have preferred Eren was mute. His throbbing head would have. Sighing angrily, he stopped struggling. He needed to think...  
"Can you move?"  
Eren glared at him   
"Can you move, or not?"  
"Not"  
"Fuck. Fuck! My head hurts too fucking much to think clearly"  
"I don't want to hear it"  
"Who's fault do you think it is? You're the one who wanted to fuck! And your constant trips to the bathroom!"  
"Excuse me for being fucking pregnant! At least I won't be for much longer!"  
Levi snarked  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
"Oh, you know. I'm in labour, but I guess that's something you don't care about"  
"You're in labour?! Now? Seriously?"  
Oh fuck...  
"I'm sorry! You try having your head slammed against the ground and gun shoved in your fucking face. You're stress levels tend to shoot right the fuck up! God! Please tell me you can get out of that chair"  
"Do I look like I can?"  
"You're an alpha! I know you're strong"  
The plastic ties around his wrists had already cut in. The blood making things slippery, but there just wasn't enough give  
"I'm trying to figure this out"  
"Well try harder"  
"You try harder! You're the one that was awake"  
"I did try!"  
Levi scoffed. He was royally pissed, but if he kept Eren mad at him, his mate might just stay angry enough to help him find a way out this... Eren definitely smelt angry enough... They didn't have time to be sitting there like fucking idiots. Eren needed a hospital. He needed professional medical help. Even if something where to happen to him, he couldn't let his omega give birth in a place like this  
"Sure you did"  
"Fuck you!"  
"Do you know where we are, at least?"  
"Yeah. We're trapped with a psychopath"  
"Jesus Christ, Eren. I'm trying to fucking think here!"  
"Well think faster!"  
"I'm thinking!"  
"And I'm..."

Eren shut his mouth as Reiner returned. The alpha stalking over to his mate, before backhanding him hard enough that Eren, and the chair he was strapped to, tipped sideways. Screaming, couldn't protect himself as Reiner laid into his face  
"Stop it! You're killing him!"  
Snarling as he turned his murderous gaze to Levi, Reiner dropped his bloody fist to his side  
"You're right. I can't have him dying before you do"  
Stepping over Eren, Reiner ran his fingers through his hair  
"It takes a certain kind of person to love some thing like this. I suppose he's told you all about the time he spent living with us. The tight little outfits he'd wear. The way he'd climb into bed with Zeke. The sounds he'd make through his heat, only letting Zeke touch him... he enjoyed being in his brother's bed. He enjoyed giving himself to us... How can you love such a loose omega? Though. That arse of his... so fucking hot and wet"  
Levi couldn't help himself. He laughed. Reiner was trying to get under his skin, but fuck. Really?  
"The way I heard it, you never stood a chance. That's why you had to settle for another alpha. No omega was satisfied with that pimple you call a dick. Tell me. Did you really make Bertholdt happy? Or were you just a convenient hole to fuck"  
Reiner's fist slammed into his face   
"Don't you fucking talk about him!"  
"What? Hit a nerve? Stuck knowing you'd never have an omega of your own. You'd never have Eren to yourself. You'd never have his love so you had to settle for second best"  
Reiner roared  
"It wasn't like that!"  
"Really? It sounds to me like you're trying to convince yourself of that..."  
Grabbing him by the hair, Reiner slammed his head against the edge of the table. Eren screaming at Reiner to stop, like that was actually going anything. Throwing him back, Levi hit the floor. The chair underneath him cracking from the weight and impact. Sitting blood from his mouth, Levi smirked  
"A little too close to the truth. Did he love you? Did you two fight over Eren? Or didn't you know Bertholdt was going to buy him off Zeke"  
Levi had no idea who the fuck Zeke planned to sell Eren too... buuuut...  
"Shut the fuck up! I was going to wait. Let you see that dead bastard of yours, but now you just keep talking... Maybe Eren will bare my pup next. Bertholdt would have been such a good mother"  
Pulling his gun back out, Reiner didn't even hesitate as he shot him through the left thigh. Levi couldn't stop the strangle scream that escaped as the pain assaulted him. Fucking shit. The pig had actually shot him?! Had he shot Eren too? Or just as their feet? Looking for his mate, there was an alarmingly amount of something pooled around his omega. He needed out  
"Oh look at you. A big boy because you've got a little gun? You don't fucking scare me"  
"Is that right?"  
The next shot went right through the middle of Levi's left hand. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Fucking fuck fuck  
"This house... this house was going to be our family home... we thought we'd escaped Zeke. But he just couldn't leave it alone..."  
Tears filled Reiner's eyes, leaving Levi feeling like he'd caught a glimpse of something he wasn't supposed to be. Growling as he recovered, Reiner booted him solidly in the side of the abdomen  
"This wasn't how it was supposed to go! We were kids! No one cared what we wanted!"

Whimpering, Eren caught Reiner's attention. Turning from him Levi nearly passed out from the pain of his fucked up hand, tearing up against the restraints as the wood had been shattered by the bullet. He now has enough give to get one hand free... kind of... the plastic had cut in so deeply, and his hand was so fucked, that all movement was clumsy and uncoordinated  
"Bertholdt loved you..."  
Whimpering the words, Reiner sank down beside Eren  
"What the fuck did you just say?"  
"Bertholdt loved you... he... he told me that he..."  
Eren's sentence trailed off, his mate coughing. Grabbing him by the neck, Reiner snarled into his face  
"What the fuck did he tell you?!"  
Oh hell no. Uh uh. Now that he was on his way to freedom, Reiner was not touching his omega like that. He didn't care how fucking uncomfortable or how much it fucking hurt. It wasn't fucking happening!  
"Eren! What did he say!?"  
Struggling with renewed vigour, all Levi could focus on was his rage. He wanted Reiner dead. He wanted his hands off Eren and the man dead! Ripping free his right hand, he scrambled to work at his ankles. His actions turning Reiner's attention back on him. Coldly, and without releasing his hold on Eren's neck, Reiner fired his third shot into him, Levi's eyes widened as the pain bloomed in his right side, and stayed wide as Eren plunged as piece of chair arm into Reiner's neck   
"How dare you touch my fucking alpha!"  
Dropping the gun and releasing Eren in surprise, both Reiner's hands went to his neck. The man visibly swallowing as he tried to figure out what the fuck had happened. Abandoning his ankles, Levi wriggled, dragging the chair with him as he went for the gun. Reiner lunging the same time Eren tore the wood from his neck, spraying bright red blood up and across the wall. Stabbing down again, the alpha backhanded Eren so hard the crack echoed in the space. Blood bubbled at Reiner's moving lips... the alpha looking so shocked and hurt by Eren's actions that it was almost comical... Levi might have laughed if it wasn't for his own shock. Seeing someone die, and being completely responsible for their death were two unbelievably different things. He wouldn't allow Eren to carry the sin of killing Reiner. He wouldn't allow him to carry that stain on his heart forever. Using the tips of his fingers to pull the gun closer with his left hand, he damn near ended up looking like a turtle as he grabbed it with his right, and fired blindly at Reiner until the gun clicked empty and everything fell silent  
"Eren?!"  
Not getting a reply, Levi lost his shit completely. The plastic ties cutting deeply into his hand as he fought to free his ankles, his side hurting so fucking badly that he wanted to throw up, but his heart and mind were racing with a need to get to Eren. 

Finally freed, Levi dragged himself up, stumbling then tripping over the sack of shit formerly known as Reiner. Landing by mate, he gasped in pain... and not just at his own pain. He'd been wearing his work uniform when he'd been taken. His thick pants and thin shirt offering some tiny measure of protection against the cables. Eren didn't have that. He was simply wearing the same shirt and underwear he'd been in when Levi left for work. His mate had struggled so hard, the plastic ties had cut in deep enough to start "degloving" the skin around his ankles bunched in a way that made him see black for an instant. God. It was revolting and barbaric. Holding his left arm to his stomach protectively, he crawled up Eren's side. Between his legs was wet with blood, way too much blood... but as he kept going, he almost wished Eren was staring at him  
"Eren?"  
"It hurts... the baby... he's..."  
"Shhhh. I know it hurts. I know, but we need to get you out of here. Can you do that, for me?"  
Shit... moving... he didn't want to keep moving. He needed to dress his own wounds... if he bled out, he'd be no fucking help to Eren  
Eren sniffled softly as he gave a tiny nod  
"I need to find a knife or something. Something to cut you free. I'll be right back. Ok"  
"L-Lee... what about you?"  
"I've got this"  
"Liar..."  
"Let me get you out, then we'll go from there"

 

*  
Freed from his constraints, Eren was in better shape than Levi. His alpha stripping off his ruined shirt to dress his wounds. His alpha pale and drenched it sweat, his pain flowing through their bond... which meant Levi definitely had to be feeling the pain he was in. He needed to push. The feeling only growing, but there was no way he was giving birth to his pup here. He wasn't having his pup come into the world here  
"Eren!"  
Clicking his fingers, Eren blinked at Levi   
"You're going to have to help me here"  
"Right..."  
"Does Reiner a phone or anything? Do you have your phone?"  
"N-no... it's at home"  
"Fuck... right, I know it hurts but we're getting out of here..."

 

*  
They made it to the door before Levi had to go and faint. His alpha was drenched in sweat, his breathing ragged as Eren was forced to drag Levi out the front door. He mentally apologised as Levi smacked into the doorway, he only one hand to use to use, the other clutching his stomach. The need to fucking push was all the could concentrate on as it was, but he was definitely not giving birth in Reiner's fucked up house of horrors. Levi was lucky he'd been unconscious, he'd missed Reiner fawning over Bertholdt... climbing into the lap of his mate's corpse at the dinner table and yeah... no...

Dragging Levi down the front step, his legs gave out, squashing his alpha as he fell on him. Levi letting out a soft growl as he tried to push him off  
"Eren?"  
"L-Lee... I need to push..."  
"Shit... shit... did I faint?"  
"Ye.... ahhhh.... fuck..."  
His contractions hurt so fucking much  
"Eren... ok... I need... to... to look at you. Are you sure you need to push?"  
Levi was struggling to breathe, while Eren felt like a beached whale on top of him  
"Of course I'm fucking sure! God... Levi... it hurts so much... something's wrong with him"  
"Ok... just let me do my job"  
"I... think..."  
"It's ok. It's ok, we can do this"

Giving birth in an a some overgrown front yard was not part of his birth plan. Nor was Levi silently crying as he peeled Eren's ruined underwear off him. He knew he was bleeding. He could feel himself bleeding. Reiner had gut punched him, there'd been a kind of "pop" feeling, then... he had no idea how long he'd been with Reiner... it hadn't been that long after Levi left. Reiner had started screaming at him about how it wasn't fair he was engaged... and how he'd tried to ignore him... but then Bertholdt had died and he knew what he had to do... he'd lost his mate and his mind. Eren could smell the deep pain coming from Reiner. He wanted to help him... but he'd lost that chance when he'd fucking shot his mate  
"Eren... I need you to keep breathing for me, just like that"  
He wasn't sure he was breathing. He was on his back, but that was uncomfortable as fuck... and he was so fucking tired  
"I... can't do this..."  
"It's ok... just don't push"  
"I need to push"  
"Eren, you're not dilated enough..."  
His body wasn't exactly programmed not to push. Especially when his contractions were nearly atop each other. His back felt like it was about to snap... sobbing, he shook his head   
"I can't do this... I can't..."  
"You can. You'll be ok... you'll..."  
Levi coughed, blood dribbling from his alpha's lips. Watching Levi wiping the back of his lips with his hand, Eren cried hard  
"I can't... I..."  
He really had to push.

Trying to breathe through it, he bored down with all he could. He could feel himself tearing as he screamed  
"Eren! Stop!"  
His scream stopped as he slumped back  
"You're not dilated enough... I know you want to push... I know, but you can't yet... shit... shit... the blood won't stop..."  
Babbling Levi's name, he waited for the next proper contraction to start... beginning to push again  
"Eren! Stop... stop. You're bleeding too much..."  
Eren had already run out of fucks to give. He'd stopped feeling his baby moving after Reiner hit him... right now, he didn't care if he died. He just wanted his pup to live... Reiner was right. He ruined everything... Levi had gotten hurt because of him. His pup was probably dead because of him... he never did anything right and he'd never accomplished anything in his life. All the time he'd spent studying. All the time he'd spent dancing. All the time and money Levi had poured into him to help him... and he was just nothing...

 

*  
Blood wouldn't stop spilling from between Eren's legs. Each time Eren pushed, Levi watched as his omega tore deeper, more blood spilling onto the path beneath him. Trying to stop the bleeding with Eren's ruined underwear wasn't helping, and the tears flowing thickly down his face as he sobbed made it hard to see. Eren was fucking dying in front of him. Eren and his pup were dying... his alpha was screaming at him to save their mate, to save their pup... but the blood wouldn't stop. His arms were covered in it. Eren was covered in it. Howling, he felt so fucking useless. Eren was still struggling. Still trying to birth their pup... hanging his head, he didn't know what to do. White noise had filled his head... blocking out the pained way Eren was whispering his name over and over. Slumping sideways, he couldn't stop himself. He was supposed to be the strong one. He was the fucking alpha. He was supposed to protect Eren from all the horror in this world...

Laying on his back, Levi stared up the sky. It'd been late when he'd left work, and now the sun was up... how fucking long had he been here? Wherever here was? Why hadn't he figured out Eren's message? His omega had tried to warn him. He'd tried to tell him Reiner was their was a gun, and that he needed to ring Floch. Why the shit was the sky so blue? And why did the sun feel so cold... his eyes slowly slid closed... he just wanted to be with Eren. If god or whoever was listening, he prayed they'd let him see his mate again. Eren was the love of his life... and he might not believe in resurrection, but if they could be born again, he'd want to be a bird... because Eren would like that. Eren would love to see the whole wide world.

 

"Levi!"  
Sucking in a huge breath, Levi was confused as fuck. Erwin's shitty face hovered in front of him, swinging like a pendulum, in and out of focus. Coughing, it turned to a groan as he tried to curl around his stomach   
"Don't move... you're going to be ok, you stupid arseholes"  
"E-Eren..."  
Trying to look past Erwin, he could see the basic blur of their uniform...  
"No. Focus on me for now"  
"Eren..."  
"Levi. Focus. I need you to stay awake. They're are working on Eren... How did this happened?"  
Coughing again, he choked on his own spit   
"Hold on, I've got you"

Lifted by Erwin's stupidly thick arms, Levi felt like a rag doll in his hold. Carried away from his mate, he whined in distress  
"Eren would want someone working on you"  
"How... the... fuck... are-you-here?"  
"I couldn't get Eren's phone call out of my head. I went to your apartment, and you were gone... the only thing left was blood on the sofa and the smell of a scared omega in labour. I couldn't smell you at all, so I called the hospital, you weren't there. It didn't sit right with me... so I called Floch. He traced your car's GPS to the next suburb over. He knew Bertholdt had died... he was in custody of the Karanes Police, but comatose... they had no idea where Reiner was. This place was brought by a company under the name of the "The Church". They searched it before and it's been left like this since"  
Erwin talked way too fucking much. He could tell his friend was scared by the way his tone was clipped as he seemed to jump from sentence to sentence. Hauled into the back of the ambulance, Levi shivered as his back hit the cold floor  
"You look like shit"  
"Next time I get shot, I'll try and make it pretty"  
"How bad is it?"  
"Not great. Through and through left hand, left thigh. Right side entry would, I don't think it exited"  
Erwin swore, rummaging through the drawers for gauze  
"How the fuck are you conscious?"  
"I was busy dying... I just want to be with Eren"  
"You're not fucking dying"  
"Please, Erwin. You need to take care of him. He's all I have"  
"He's not all you have. You have him and your pup"  
"Is he... is he alive?"  
"You're having a boy?"  
"Y-yeah... when Eren found out, he was so happy..."  
Shit. He could almost see Eren's smiling face. He'd said he'd wanted it so bad that he'd made it happen, even if they both knew it wouldn't work that way...  
"He was such a cute kid..."  
"Then let's hope the pup looks more like him than you"  
"I know..."  
Shit... he could barely keep his eyes open...  
"Keep talking to me. Do you have names picked out?"  
"No... not yet"  
"Erwin's a great name"  
"I'm not cursing my kid with eyebrows like that"  
"At least I don't look constipated... fuck, up you go"  
Levi was confused as he dragged up, that was until the gurney was slid into the back of the ambulance. His eyes on Eren. Erwin growling as moved the EMT out the way. He'd thought them paramedics... why was he even thinking about this...?

"How is he?"  
"He's bleeding out..."  
"Switch with me. Pad the bleed on the right side. Bullets still inside him"  
He didn't want some stranger touching him, but Erwin had moved to Eren. That was good. Leaning down, he stroked Eren's hair   
"Hey. It's going to be ok"  
His mate was awake?  
"How's the pup?"  
"Breach birth. If we don't get to hospital soon..."  
Erwin cut him off, moving to examine Eren   
"I'll take over here. Eren, it's Erwin. It's going to be ok. You and your pup are going to be ok"  
His mate didn't smell ok. He smelt... if Levi had to describe it, like death. It was something beyond pained and into the realm of nothingness  
"E-Erwin?"  
"He's trying to birth the pup, but he's just not strong enough. Eren. Eren. I need you to stop trying to push"  
"He's supposed to have a c-section"  
"It's too late for that, he's already starting to crown. Eren, I need you to take a few deep breaths. We need you to gather some strength up. Get him a pain whistle. Levi's right here, ok. He's ok. I'm going to try my fucking hardest for you and your pup"  
"Let me at him..."  
"Levi, you need to stay still"  
"Let me hold his hand! He's my goddamn mate!"  
The EMT looked to Eren, before Erwin nodded. Helped to sit by his omega, he buried his face against Eren's neck   
"You've got this. I'm right here"  
"Levi...?"  
"I'm here. I'm here. You're going to be ok"  
"It hurts... so much"  
"I know. I know, baby. I love you"

Eren was still struggling through his labour when they reached the hospital. Each time he pushed, he cried out in pain. Levi holding one hand, while watching as Eren was forced open by their son, the tears growing before his eyes. Blood and birth didn't seem to end, nor did the cum oozing from Eren's limp dick as the pup stimulated his prostate. It was clear his mate was not enjoying himself in the slightest. He'd heard some omegas found birth erotic. Right now, Levi wished he was the kind of alpha who could look away. His mate was going to be butt hurt for the next century. Erwin's fingers delved into his mate's heat, his arse not as supple and forgiving as a bitches sex organ. The tiny boy's shoulders getting stuck, while Eren didn't have the strength to push any harder. Still. Eren kept breathing and pushing, his hold on Levi's good hand crushing. They'd barely made it though the glass doors before Eren let out an almighty howl. His back arching off the bed before he slumped back down. His doey eyes glossed over with pain. Kneeling on the bed, Erwin yelled to stop. The flurry of medical staff around them all seemed as confused as Levi was  
"Erwin!"  
"Come on... come on..."  
Climbing off the bed, Erwin stood at the edge. Levi couldn't take it. Snarling at the staff trying to help him, he abandoned his wheelchair. Someone grabbing at his arm, but he shook them off. Making it to Eren's side, he grabbed for Erwin. The man clearing the face of his tiny son with one hand, while massaging his chest with his other. His pup... the tiny boy was absolutely perfect...  
"Come on..."  
"Lee?"  
"He's beautiful. He's beautiful, Eren"  
"C-can I... see..."  
"Come on!"  
Pushing harder on the pups chest, the infant let out a tiny squeak... Levi's stupidly addled mind now releasing the boy hadn't been breathing. How Eren was conscious, he had no clue. His stats were spiralling downwards...   
"He's beautiful... you did so good. So good, brat. Erwin, he needs to see him"  
Delivering the afterbirth while Erwin worked, it was a mess as Eren was shown their new born son. His mate's face lighting up with an exhausted smile  
"Thank... god"  
Erwin barely gave them half a moment, before yelling   
"We need to move! Eren's still bleeding..."

Levi really didn't mean to pass out, but his pup was born. His omega in hospital... and he was just so fucking tired.


	58. Chapter 58

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hear you all want another chapter...

Consciousness was not welcome as Eren's eyes fluttered open. His body felt weird, while his head felt all fluffy, like it was stuffed with his favourite blue blanket. Groaning, he stupidly tried to push himself up, before realising he had literally no strength. He felt... empty... something was different... something was missing. His hand moving to his stomach as he realised something was wrong, his other than ripping off the oxygen mask over his mouth  
"My baby!?"  
Patting his stomach, his panic grew  
"My baby?! Where's my baby?!"  
Scaring the fuck out of him, Erwin grabbed his hand, whimpering he flinched as he attempted to escape Erwin's soft touch  
"Eren. Eren, shhh. It's ok. He's ok"  
"My baby?"  
Trying to focus on Erwin, his green eyes filled with tears  
"My baby?!"  
"He's ok... He's in the NICU, but he's just fine..."  
He didn't know what the NICU was...  
"Levi's ok, too. He's down there at the moment"  
His mate wasn't with him? Did Levi not love him anymore? Why wasn't he with him? Why was Erwin here? Was Erwin here because Levi had left him and now Erwin thought he had to put up with him? He didn't blame Levi for leaving... he'd stabbed Reiner right in front of him... the omega's breathing hitching as he started to sob  
"The three of you are fine. You don't need to cry. Here, let's put your mask back on. You've probably got a million questions, but for now, you need to rest. Levi's going to be so relieved. He's been driving us all fucking crazy"  
Forcing the stupid oxygen mask back onto his face, Erwin stroked his hair almost lovingly   
"It's good to see you're awake"  
He didn't want to rest... he didn't know what was going on. He didn't know what was happening. What happened to Reiner? Had he killed him? And Levi... Levi had been shot... he'd been bleeding so badly. But what hurt the most was that his pup was gone. He understood now all the screams and sobs of the omegas separated from theirs. He wanted his baby... as his eyes closed by themselves, he realised that he was the last meet his own son. Erwin had met him. Levi had met him. All the hospital staff had met him. Mike had probably met him... and Hanji... he was the last one. His own son... no wonder Levi didn't want to see him... he didn't even know his own pup. They'd all probably talked about him. About how much of a failure of an omega he was. How he couldn't even give birth properly... Erwin kept stroking his hair. The touch made him nauseous to the bottom of his... whatever it was. He couldn't even feel his fucking stomach...  
"Hey, Eren. He really is ok. They both are. Look, I'll go find Levi for you"  
Eren shook his head. He didn't want to see Levi. He didn't want to have to see the look of disgust on his alpha's face  
"You don't want to see Levi?"  
Eren shook his head again. Erwin would probably run to tell Levi all about it, but he didn't care. Levi had his pup. He didn't need him now  
"He's been really worried about you"  
Attempting to end the conversation by rolling away, his stupid body wouldn't move. He was done... and back to being alone all over again. Turning his head away, Erwin sighed softly behind him. The alpha's chair scraping lightly as he removed his hand and rose to stand  
"He really is a beautiful pup. He looks just like Levi. I'll see what I can do about getting you a visit while I'm doing there"  
Eren wanted to tell him to stick it, but that meant talking to Erwin... and all he wanted was him to fuck off. Why had they even bothered saving him? Everything Reiner had said was right. He was a blight. He ruined everything... How could Levi ever love him?

 

*  
Eren had been in and out of consciousness over the past few days. He didn't particularly mind though. If he was sleeping, he didn't have to see Levi. He didn't have to see the photos of their son on his phone, or listen to how worried Levi had been. His mate currently stuck in a wheelchair as they waited for the swelling to go down, then it'd be another surgery to see if they could remove the bullet inside of him. How was he supposed to deal with that? Levi was in pain and it was all his fault. His hand was a bandaged mess, and there was a haunted look in his eyes that never left. He let himself be kissed by the alpha, when all he'd wanted to do was scream at him to leave. Levi had told him how proud he was, and how strong he was, and amazing he was for birthing their boy. It was all just words. None of it made him feel better. Pretending to be asleep, he had his back towards Levi  
"Hey, Mum and Dad. Is someone ready for a little visit?"  
Visit to where? He didn't want to go anywhere. He was busy becoming one with his bed  
"Hey guys, today's the big day"  
"Yeah, Mike. How much longer am I going to be stuck in this shitty chair?"  
"Until you learn to behave yourself"  
"I'm fucking stuck forever"  
Mike laughed, causing Eren to cringe. How could they all be so happy?  
"So, dad. We'll take you down first"  
"I can wheel myself"  
"Right into a wall with that hand of yours"  
"Mike. You're an arsehole"  
"I know"  
Patting his hip, Levi's tone was gentle   
"I'll see you down there, brat"  
Wherever down there was, he didn't want to go. He just wanted to be left alone. Stupid tears rolled down his face as he tried to hide it against his pillow.

Mike waited until the soft squeak of Levi's chair had faded, the alpha walking around to the bed and sinking down to look him in the eyes  
"Want to tell me what's going on?"  
No. He didn't  
"Levi says you've been pretty quiet, and that you haven't been asking about the pup?"  
Yeah. Because he was trying his fucking hardest not to think about him  
"Anyway. Maybe seeing him is just what you need? A small trip out of this room to meet your baby boy"  
Shaking his head, he tried to bury his face completely   
"Come on, don't give me that. He looks just like Levi"  
God. He didn't want to go. Why couldn't they just leave him alone?! Mike started pulling down his blankets, while Eren struggled to hold onto them  
"Eren?"  
"I don't want to see him!"  
Screaming at Mike, he was immediately embarrassed by his outburst  
"You don't want to see your pup?"  
"He's not my pup..."  
"He is. You fought so hard to give birth to him. Erwin was so proud of you"  
"I don't want to see him!"  
"Hey. I get that you're feeling guilty, but maybe this is just what you need"

Mike, the arsehole that he was, lifted him out his bed and carefully sat him down in a wheelchair. His stupid painkillers meant he couldn't even escape. Wheeled through the hospital, he kept his eyes closed. He could feel everyone staring at him. Probably laughing and mocking him... Mike was silent behind him. Pushed into a department he didn't even know existed, the nurses rushed to fuss over him. Forcing him into a gown, he then pushed to Levi's side. The alpha staring into some clear boxy thing, and the tiny pup inside  
"He's doing really well. Better than they'd expected, and growing every day"  
Forcing himself to look at his son, his heart filled with love for the small boy. He wanted to reach out and stroke the pups thin black hair, but he also knew he didn't deserve to  
"Well, Mum. Are you ready to hold your pup?"  
He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. The nurse patting his shoulder as she went about opening box thing. At least now he knew why he had to have clean hands. Lifting the tiny boy, he wriggled in the woman's hold, his tiny hands grasping at air.

Shown how to hold his pup, like he'd never held a baby before, his son was place into his arms. He couldn't believe how warm such a tiny body could be. His chest ached with the need to feed him, even as his mind reminded him that he wasn't wanted or needed  
"Have you two talked about a name yet?"  
When Eren didn't answer, Levi did  
"No. He's still a little out of it. A week in a coma will do that"  
"Of course. I hear you delivered your friends pup, and was there for Hanji and baby Anna"  
"Yeah, he did..."  
Levi was staring holes through the side of his face. In his arms, his son started to cry. Even the baby boy didn't want him... with his chubby little cheeks and thin pink lips... It hit him suddenly that he was responsible for this life. For the rest of his life, it was his job to be there for the tiny infant. To help teach him right from wrong and... He couldn't do it. He couldn't be a mother. He knew nothing. He had nothing to teach him... his body started to shake, the nurse immediately stepping in  
"Would you like a hold, daddy?"  
Levi's smile was huge as his son was placed into his hold. His busted hand didn't seem to bother him at all. Their son grabbing Levi's finger and quieting down as he did. The bond between the pair hurt to see. Both clearly in love with each other... while he wasn't even allowed to feed the little boy...  
"Mike, can I go back to my room now?"  
Levi's head snapped up, his smile morphing into a look of confused pain  
"Are you sure?"  
"I don't feel very good"  
In his arms, their son started to cry again. Levi crooning softly, his attention on the pup as Mike and the nurse moved him away, taking the gown off.

Mike was smart enough to grab a disposable vomit bag, they'd barely made out the department before he was throwing up. Levi and the pup didn't want him. Didn't need him... nobody needed him  
"How did it feel meeting him again?"  
Again? This was the first time...   
"Erwin worked as hard he could to get him breathing. Then Levi insisted that you meet him. He was terrified you were dying. Apparently you said "Thank god", before you passed out. Did Levi explain any of this to you?"  
No. He couldn't remember any of this and why did Mike have to tell him?! Didn't he know how guilty he felt as it was? Spitting into the vomit bag, he slumped back in the wheelchair. He didn't feel any better than before he'd met their pup. No. Levi's pup. He'd just carried it for him   
"I suppose you and Levi can talk about this later"  
Placing his hand on his stomach, Eren swore he could feel the kicks of his pup. As he broke down, Mike took the vomit bag from him  
"Eren, it's ok to not be ok"  
"Is it ok to not want your own pup?! I don't want... I don't want to see him!"  
"Eren, you're recovering. You suffered an extra trauma, enough to be placed in a medically induced coma. Your body and hormones are adjusting, and I saw the look on your face when you held him. You love him"  
"He's Levi's son. There's no room for me"  
"You know that's not true"  
"It is! I can't remember giving birth! I can't remember meeting him! Instead I have to hear about him from everyone else! Why, Mike!? Why couldn't you all let me die?"

Mike didn't seem to have the answers he needed. The alpha disposing of the bag, before taking him back to his room. Helping him back into bed, Eren immediately turned his back on him   
"We're all here for you. Levi's been a mess without you. The first thing he did when he woke was demand to see you"  
"Stop it"  
"He's spent more time with you and your son, than he has worrying about his own recovery"  
"Stop it!"  
He tried to cover his ears, but that didn't block Mike out  
"They had to sedate him. When he heard you were in a coma, he fought the nurses to get out of bed..."  
"Stop it! Stop it! I don't want to hear it!"  
"He's hurting too..."  
"He doesn't need me! He's got his son! And even he doesn't need me! Levi doesn't need me anymore... no one needs me... what good am I? What good is an omega who can't even look after a pup!? Who gets his alpha fucking shot? Levi's better without me... we all know that... we all know that..."  
Mike stroked his hair. Fuck. He was sick of being touched  
"You need to forgive yourself. Levi loves you"  
"I don't... want him to. I don't want to be touched. I don't want to keep hearing about m-his son..."  
Why didn't they get it. He didn't deserve to be happy. He didn't deserve Levi's love. He didn't deserve to love his son, when he couldn't even give birth properly. He couldn't hold on until the hospital to give his son a proper and safe birth... he'd failed all of them. He deserved to alone...  
"I'll let you get some sleep. Levi should be back up soon"  
"I don't want to see him"  
"What about what he wants?"  
"I don't care... not anymore..."  
He unfortunately did care. Way too much... There was saying "If you love someone, let them go"... How much had Levi suffered for him? It wasn't fair. If he hadn't fallen in love with Levi, then Levi wouldn't be hurt... again  
"Just get some rest. We can talk about this later"  
Why? Why should they talk about it? They all knew this was his fault. He'd been bad and deserved to be hurting.

 

*  
Levi would have to be blind to see Eren wasn't alright. His omega wouldn't talk to him, not about what had happened, not about what he was feeling and not about their son. Eren had fallen silent and back into bad habits. The nurses having come in during one of his nightmares to find he'd clawed his inner thighs to pieces as screamed to be let go. His omega wouldn't eat, he wouldn't express, slowly giving up even responding to the nurses. Levi had heard him. The day Eren had held their son, that his omega thought he didn't have a place in their family anymore. That he didn't need him anymore. He didn't know what to do. He'd been frozen outside Eren's door as Eren confessed to Mike. He'd already given Floch his statement, and his actions a clear case of self defence. The man wanted to take Eren's statement, but that wasn't happening.

If it wasn't Erwin continually checking in with him, he was fending off calls from Hanji. Erwin had filled her in, even telling her all about his son. He wanted Eren to be the first one to meet him, but now it turned out that Eren couldn't even remember being in labour... to his omega, he was the last to know about the tiny boy. Fuck. He loved him. He loved the tiny pup with a kind of love he didn't think possible. He was beautiful and so perfect... and so fucking strong. Every time he looked at the boy's face, he felt the overwhelming need to protect him... and he could honestly spend hours watching him sleep if he were allowed. Which, he wasn't. He wasn't even allowed to share a room with Eren, and he was stuck in the piece of shit wheelchair for the foreseeable future. They had to wait for the swelling near his spine to settle, then they'd be able to tell if it was possible to remove the bullet or not. His hand was still fucked, but the bullet had gone straight through, same for his leg. It was just that stupid fucking bullet that had hit his side... Reiner had been crazy. Floch had checked the alpha's laptop, it was filled with things about him and Eren, their engagement the tipping point for the crazed alpha. Not that it mattered now. They couldn't go back in time. For now, he had to work out what to do about Eren. Their son was born. He'd needed a little help, but he was doing so well. Even the nurses had been pleasantly surprised by the boy... it was them who also explained to him that Eren wasn't doing all that well mentally and assured him  
It wasn't uncommon for new mothers to feel out of sorts. He knew Eren wasn't, but it was the nurses who'd carefully explained that Eren seemed to be rejecting his pup. Levi just... he just didn't understand why. They'd survived. All three of them survived. No one was left to come after them... It'd been 11 days since he'd been born, and just 6 days till Christmas. They should be together. They should be fussing over the tiny boy and his tiny fingers... not split up across the hospital with Eren falling apart. They'd even wanted to restrain Eren, but Levi couldn't do that to him. The conversation had sent Eren into panic attack, unable to calm until he'd passed out. 

Forced to rest in his own room, he rolled his eyes as Erwin came walking in. It was like the alpha seemed to think the hospital belonged to him  
"Hey, Levi. How's it going today?"  
"Don't you ever get sick of asking?"  
It wasn't like Erwin hadn't texted him the same damn thing earlier   
"Not really. Any news on..."  
Erwin waved his hand at him  
"No. Not yet. I'm sick of laying in this bed"  
"It's better for you than worrying yourself sick. How is he?"  
"He has a name. And I'm not allowed to see Eren at the moment"  
"That good?"  
"They want the hospital quack to talk to him, but he's not talking at all. Did you go by my apartment?"  
"Yep. Titan's been pretty lonely, but I got it"  
Throwing the small box with Eren's engagement ring at him, Levi growled in annoyance   
"Can't you just stop being an arse?"  
"Apparently not. You know, I can try talking to Eren..."  
"No... no. Even I can't get through to him. He's convinced himself he doesn't have a place in our family any more"  
"How did manage that?"  
"I don't know. You fucking watched him struggle to give birth and now he doesn't want to talk about our son"  
"Have you talked to him about the bullet?"  
Levi sighed heavily, opening the ring box. The day he'd bought it, he'd been so confident in their relationship. Where did it all go wrong?  
"He knows it's there"  
"Maybe he's feeling guilty over what happened?"  
"I know he's blaming himself. He always fucking does. But he won't talk about it"  
"What about Hanji? Or Marco?"  
"We want him talk, not fall back to being mute again"  
"Then Krista? We know he talks to her"  
Levi's eyes widened slightly  
"I didn't think about her"  
"Then give her a call. It mean, it can't hurt"  
"Yeah... yeah. Did you remember to grab Eren's blankets?"  
"Oh. What? Yeah. The blue and green one's right?"  
"And the bag..."  
"With the pup's things in it. And a chance of clothes for both of you. Yes, I remembered"  
"Why don't you go give that stuff to Eren, while I call Krista?"  
"I thought you just said you didn't want to talk to Eren"  
"I already know he's not going to talk"

Ringing Krista's office, he was forced to leave a message with her receptionist. Explaining it was important, the woman promised to pass the message on. This left him with more time than he knew what to do with. He knew he'd need surgery on his back, but he was wondering how Eren was coping after his. He'd had surgery to remove the plastic from his ankles, and to his arse. It was only by some miracle that Eren hadn't needed a hysterectomy, or suffered an anal prolapse... even though his arse had been torn to shreds by birth. Like him, it was waiting game until the swelling decreased. 

Taking the engagement ring out its small box, Levi slipped the fine piece of jewellery on his own ring finger, staring at it as his eyes filled with tears. He was struggling. He was struggling so damn hard. If they couldn't remove the bullet he could end up paralysed. Hell. He could end up paralysed as they did. And Eren wasn't there to be there... How could Eren think he didn't belong and wasn't wanted? What had they fought so hard for? It wasn't Eren's fault that Reiner had lost his mind. Eren was only doing what he needed to survive, and he'd even said there'd been a chance for the two alphas to run. 

It was a long wait until Krista called him back. Levi finding himself crying as he explained the state of things to the woman. Krista was kind an sympathetic, drawing a chuckle from him by describing Reiner as a "fucktard". Promising to visit Eren after work, Levi let himself feel hope... though still bitterly disappointed he couldn't be the person Eren confided in. He missed him. He missed holding him. He missed burying his face in Eren's soft hair. He missed his laugh and smile. His soft skin. His stupid jokes and his nasally snores. Fuck. He needed to see him. He couldn't wait until after Krista's visit... and even if Eren was ignoring him, he had to see he was ok.

Neglecting the torture of the wheel chair, Levi kept his bandaged hand up against his stomach as he shuffled along the halls. He'd already forgotten the ring on his finger was there, in his need to talk to Eren. Making it to his mate's room, the door was slightly open, releasing Eren's secret sobs to the hallway. Slipping into the room, Erwin was absent, but Eren's two blankets now lay on his bed. Continuing his shuffle, he sat in the visitors chair. Even if he was distressed, Eren was alive and breathing  
"I love you, Eren. I love you. Please. I need you. Our pup needs you. This family isn't a family without you"  
Eren didn't reply, not that he'd expected to. Levi staying silent in the plastic visitors chair staring at photos of their son. He was basically furniture in the background as nurses tended to Eren. His omega acknowledging him with a guilty look in his eyes. He hated it, too and from the bathroom. They wanted to get Eren up and moving to keep his back from seizing. Those two looks were the only two looks he'd gotten in days. Krista couldn't come fast enough...

Krista had her arms full as entered. A teddy bear, balloons, flowers and chocolate in her hold  
"Hey, Guys! Hey, Eren. I hope you don't mind a visitor. I called Levi about your missed appointments and he said you were in hospital. I hope you don't mind that I came for a visit?"  
God bless Krista. He knew she wouldn't normally lie to Eren, but she needed a way to break the icy atmosphere of the room. Smiling, she carried her pile of gifts to Eren's hospital table  
"We'll have to ask a nurse for a vase, it's probably a little strange that I'm bringing you gifts, but I'm just so relieved that you're in one piece. You're my favourite patient, after all. How are you feeling Levi?"  
"I'm getting there"  
"I'll come have a chat with you soon. Right now, I think I want to have a little chat with Eren"  
Levi nodded, the words felt clumsy as he tried not to say anything to upset Eren  
"I might leave you two too it. Eren, I'll come back later, ok? I love you, brat"

Erwin caught on his way back to his room. The alpha forcing him into the closest available wheelchair. Which he didn't need. He was mostly fine. The pain numbed by pain killers, so it was more uncomfortable than anything. Grilling him for walking around, Levi kept his mouth shut, clearing the way with an icy glare. Krista better have some good news for him. He needed his mate. He couldn't deal with all this alone.

 

Krista was all smiles as she let herself into his room  
"Hey, Levi. Is now a good time?"  
Erwin had already left, and the book he's dropped off, Levi had read a dozen times  
"Sure. How is he?"  
Krista sighed softly   
"Hurting. He's really hurting. Do you mind if I take a seat?"  
"Go right ahead. So... he talked to you?"  
Walking over, Krista pulled herself together as she sat  
"A little. It sounds like you two went through quite the experience?"  
"You could say that..."  
"His postpartum depression is hitting him hard. He feels like his son isn't his"  
"I heard. He said he doesn't feel like he's part of the family anymore"  
Krista nodded   
"He told me that too. He feels like he's to blame for what happened to both of you"  
"That's on me. He tried to tell me something was wrong, but I didn't understand his message"  
"What kind of things have you told him since he woke?"  
"I told him about our son. And about the bullet... I've tried kissing him, holding him and reassuring him that I love him"  
"How was he with your pup?"  
"He was happy for a moment, then he looked terrified"  
"He doesn't think he can be a mother. He's really upset that Erwin, Mike and everyone else met his son first. He feels like if he'd been stronger, he could have been there for the boy"  
"He nearly died giving birth. The walls of his uterus failed to tighten after birth, causing a major bleed. He also wasn't dilated enough when he began pushing, which required surgery to repair the damage... if anyone deserves to be happy, it's him"  
"It's hard. He doesn't hate his pup, he actually loves him. He can't control his feelings right now, and with the pup in the NICU, he isn't getting the chance to bond with him properly"  
"It can't exactly be helped. He said he didn't want our child"  
"That's because it's what he currently believes. He believes he should have died, in order for and your son to be happy"  
Levi felt sick. His heart was racing at her words. He couldn't live in a world without Eren...  
"What... what do I do?"  
"You'll need to monitor him closely. He admitted to me that he hurt himself, and that he was disappointed he didn't do more damage, and also that he wishes he'd died. As hard as it is, you need to remember he doesn't want to feel like this. He doesn't mean the things he says, but his brain has tricked him into believing he has. He wants to love his son. He wants to love you. He just believes he doesn't deserve it, and that's it's not safe to. I would recommend he not be left alone, especially not when you return home"  
"He... said all this?"  
"Not verbally. He's too scared to speak. He's been a bad omega, and he's scared that by speaking, he will locked up again. Those were his words, of course. And of course, I don't believe it at all"  
So Eren had slipped back into be non-verbal again  
"Just keep telling him you love him. Give him something to do too. He's going to tired and snappy, so try to keep his mind busy. We'll swap to weekly appointments for now, starting after New Year's Day. And it's important that you try get him socialising, even if he doesn't want to talk. You needed to take care of yourself too, Levi. It's perfectly normal and ok for you need to a take break. Do something for yourself. Even if it's something as small as taking a 10 minute walk"  
"I need to get out of the bloody wheelchair first"  
Krista's face softened  
"Eren mentioned that too. Would you like to talk about it all? I don't mind"  
"You're off hours"  
"Honestly, Ymir won't be home for another..."  
Krista paused to check her white gold watch   
"... another hour and a half. If I go home, it's highly likely I'll get myself into trouble by eating all the popcorn"  
"That actually sounds pretty good"  
"I'd rather here more about this son of yours. But not too much. I don't want Eren to be hurt further"  
"He met him... he was the third person to meet him. Erwin helped him birth him, the I met him, and made sure Eren did. I... thought he was dying. I wanted him to meet him before he did. He had a horrible labour... Maybe it's better he doesn't remember it..."  
"It would have to hurt. Not meeting your child as soon as you can. I know how hard it was for him to accept he no reason not to love his pup and that deserved to be happy"  
"It wasn't like I wanted everyone meeting him. Today was Mike's first time seeing him properly. And other than that, it's been medical staff... I can't understand it"  
"Then let me explain it, simply. He feels as if he abandoned his pup, and now has no right to him. He's even fighting his omega instincts to be with his baby. It may take some time, but I firmly believe he will come to accept his pup. He just needs more time to bond with him"  
"But how long? I may need to have more surgery in the future, and he'll need to care for him"  
"I'm sure your friends would be willing to help"  
"Isn't that the same as telling Eren I don't think he can handle it"  
"Right now, he can't and he knows he can't. That's why he gave me permission to explain everything to you, because he does love you. He just feels he has no right and that you have no want or need for him"  
No want or need? So what had he been shot for? It sure as hell wasn't for shits and giggles   
"Right now he should be resting. Fucktard Reiner nearly cost him his life"  
"And you... Eren..."  
Krista, bit her lip. It was the first time she seemed uncomfortable   
"Eren confessed he killed Reiner in front of you"  
Levi shook his head, dark jealousy filling his heart knowing he'd failed to save Eren from carrying another sin   
"I killed him. Eren stabbed him, but I shot him. I didn't want Eren to feel that guilt "  
"Have you talked to him about it?"  
"I can't. He doesn't want to speak"  
"Just because he doesn't want to speak, it doesn't mean he can't hear your words. Like I should be hearing your words. Now tell me what happened"  
Levi let out a dry laugh  
"I see what you did there"  
Krista faked offence, her smile so contagious that Levi felt the edges of his lips tugging upwards  
"I have no idea what you could possibly mean. You should explain it to me. In depth. Along with your thoughts and feelings"  
"I feel like the worst fucking alpha in the world"  
"Bzzzt. Wrong. You already know you're not"  
Fucking Krista  
"Alright. I feel like I've let Eren and our son down"  
"That's better. Now, tell me why"  
"Eren already told you"  
"Eren is hurting and confused. You are too. Now tell me everything"

Confessing everything to Krista, Levi was sure he'd never talked that much in his life. Krista took it all in her stride, before flicking him in the forehead in a very Eren way  
"Go see Eren. And tell him everything you just told me. It's everything he needs to hear. Let me know when you both get out, I'm more than happy for you to bring your son to sessions... I can't wait to meet him"  
Wiping at his wet eyes, Levi nodded. He'd almost prefer being shot again, when compared to the draining feeling therapy left him with... even though it felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Perhaps because he hadn't been able to take his suppressants since admission, both he and his alpha were all over the place. The feelings and emotions triggered by both Eren's scent and bond, were throwing his head into chaos. When he'd sat by Eren's side earlier, his stupid alpha's arse had wanted to climb right up there and mount him... he knew it was for the bond, the feeling of connection with his mate, but mounting Eren while he was like that... it sickened him to feel that way  
"Thanks, Krista"  
"And in the mean time, if something happens, call me. Eren's in a vulnerable state right now, but don't forget, so are you. There's no shame in reaching out for help, and there's no shame admitting you need a little help"  
"That sounds like what I tell Eren"  
"I always knew you were smarter than you looked"

Krista left him with that sentence. Waiting for his alpha to calm, he climbed out of bed... only to be stopped by a nurse coming to check on his pain levels and urine output... then he was forced to choke down the goop the hospital called dinner. By the time actually got the chance to sneak out, visiting hours were long over.

 

Creeping into Eren's room, his mate's bed was empty. The light coming from under the bathroom door was the only clue to the location of his wayward omega. Trying the handle, it opened with ease, Eren's distress rolling out with a gush of steam. Curled on the shower floor, Eren was sobbing as he scrubbed his body. His dressing clogging the drain, while blood swirled through the pooled water. Rushing, as much as his side would allow, he turned the taps off, before sinking down to sit on the bathroom floor beside his fiancée   
"Eren. Hey, hey. You're ok"  
Looking up at him, Eren threw up between them. In his lap, his hands were bloodied  
"It's ok... just a bit of blood and vomit. Nothing we can't clean up"  
Reaching towards him, Eren flinched back. The rejection stung, but he forced it down  
"I'm not going to hurt you, and I'm not mad. I just missed you. I really fucking missed you..."  
Eren scooted away from him, Levi raising his hands to show he wasn't going to try and touch him  
"I know you talked to Krista... she told me you gave her permission to tell me what you told her. Eren, I love you. You're my family. You and my son. We aren't a family without you. You worked so hard to birth our baby boy, and I'm so proud of you... I thought you were going to die and I thought he was going to die, but you, you kept going. You were hurting so badly, but you kept going. You dragged me out the house. You held my hand as you gave birth. I don't know if you remember but you met him. You met him seconds after Erwin delivered him. I don't blame you for any of this. Reiner and Bertholdt could have run, like you said. Reiner chose this for himself, and I was the one who killed him. It wasn't you..."  
God. Krista had bestowed the gift of word vomit on his mouth. He wasn't even sure he was making sense, not with Eren staring up at him like a kicked puppy  
"You deserve to be happy. And I want to make you happy. I want to take you and our baby boy home. I want to be there with you for every feeding, every scream and every dirty nappy"  
Eren's eyes flicked to look at his side  
"This? I'd take a hundred more to keep you safe"

Levi wasn't expecting Eren to slap him hard enough that it would echo. Struck dumb, he sat there as Eren glared at him. He didn't know what to make of being slapped, but his alpha didn't appreciate his mate hitting him. One small moment bled into what felt like an eternity, before Eren covered his face and started crying all over again. This time, he didn't try to escape when Levi wrapped his arms around him  
"I love you, and I'm not leaving you. It's like we agreed all the way back in the beginning. We're gonna have our good days and our bad. I'll still love you through it all. Our pup, he needs you too. He needs his mum"  
Eren shook his head  
"Eren... I know you love him. You're just a little confused at the moment. He needs you, just like I do"  
Eren continued to shake his head  
"Don't give me that. You love him. I've seen how much you do. You wouldn't have fought so hard if you didn't. I know your heart, even if your head doesn't"  
Shoving him off, Eren drew himself into a ball. Levi growing alarmed at the amount of blood from under his omega. It may have been from his thighs, but he had no idea if Eren had scrubbed the rest of him as hard as he had been when Levi found him  
"Ok. Ok. Just calm down. I'm going to call a nurse now, so we can get you cleaned up and back into bed..."

The nurses weren't impressed with him being out of his own bed and room, or Eren trying to shower himself alone. His omega had torn his stitches, and didn't even seem to care about it. He just curled up in his bed with his back towards him.

 

*  
Sitting on his bed, Eren's stomach was filled with dread. Levi had already been hanging around for the last hour, fussing over him as they waited for his pup to be brought up. The alpha sounded like a scratched CD as he repeated how much he needed him and loved him. He didn't even have a chance to work out his head. The nurses wouldn't leave him alone, Levi wouldn't leave him alone and Erwin had scolded him over upsetting Levi when Levi had enough to worry about. Didn't he think he fucking knew that. His alpha was a fucking moron. Three bullets in the alpha were way too many. How could he just say that? That he didn't want to think about Levi's body being riddled with bullets... the one still inside him was bad enough. He'd "talked" to Krista about it all, and she'd promised to explain things to Levi, so why was he now being smothered in love? He couldn't look at Levi without hearing the gun shots. His dreams mixing his fiancées death with his father's. Levi dying in his arms over again. No matter how many times he scrubbed himself, it still felt like he was covered in Levi's blood. He'd asked for something to help with the dreams, but they wanted him to try feeding the pup, so were reluctant to medicate him... then they got mad at him when he lost shit from everything. He was so fucking tired. If the nurses didn't want to check his stupid stitches, they wanted him to use the breast pump, which wasn't all that comfortable for him. All he wanted was 5 minutes alone. Since when had that become illegal?!

Wheeling the bassinet into his room, Eren could smell his pup without even looking. The swirling mix of him and Levi, coupled with cleanliness, left him feeling put out. His omega didn't like it all. Their pup wasn't supposed to smell like something, or someone, other than them  
"Hey, Eren. This little one's been missing his mum. Have they talked to you about feeding today?"  
He nodded. He knew how pups fed. Levi... had... well, Levi had drunk from him breasts so he knew what to expect. There was also Marco who'd fed Mina, and Hanji with Anna   
"Excellent. Now, don't be scared or alarmed if he doesn't latch right away. Some pups need a little time to get it right"  
Levi busied himself undoing the thin hospital gown he was forced to endure, the fabric sliding down to expose his left breast. He couldn't even bother being embarrassed anymore. The nurses had told him he needed to show he could bath and feed his pup before they'd consider releasing him, and Levi had to be well enough to take care of both of them... so... he wasn't getting out any time soon. Taking the pup into his hold, his son blinked up at him as pink lips formed a small yawn. How could someone like him birth someone so innocent  
"Look at you two, you look lovely..."  
He didn't feel lovely. The baby boy was all he could ever want and then some. He was the result of the love he'd found in Levi, and the reality of the dream he'd had since the age of 8. Moving him to his breast, a tiny hand reached towards the exposed skin. Already knowing how to position his fingers to expose his nipple better and how to check to make sure the pup's nose wasn't blocked as he fed, he tried to control his shaking body  
"Don't rush it..."  
Eren flinched at the nurses words. He wasn't trying to rush it. He was trying to feel something for his son, other than the need to run before he taunted him. Still, the woman insisted on pointing out everything wrong he was doing... alright. She was trying to talk him through it, but he was trying to do what felt natural.

Clumsily taking his nipple a couple of times, his son wouldn't latch. Tears of guilt rolling down Eren's face as he mentally apologised to the boy over and over. He'd been right. He couldn't do this. He couldn't be a mum, not when his pup knew better than to drink from someone so dirty. Stepping in, Levi took over. The alpha moving his hand away from breast, so he could stimulate Eren's nipple until milk began to bud. Guiding there pup back to his breast, the tiny boy finally latched. Eren's heart swelled with love as his pup started to suckle hungrily, but the dark voices in his head told him how wrong this was. How he didn't deserve it. He didn't deserve to keep his pup, or to feed him  
"You two look perfect. Now make sure his nose isn't blocked, and that he isn't drinking down air. It's perfectly normal for your right breast to leak as you feed"  
Yeah. He'd seen that too... Feeling Levi kiss his temple, his alpha smelt happy   
"You're doing so good. You make me so proud, baby"  
He didn't like being called "baby". It was "brat". He could remembered Levi calling him baby, maybe once before... the memory accompanied by a phantom pain through his stomach. Reaching down, Levi stroked their son's cheek   
"He's so incredible. You did so good, Eren. Carrying such a perfect pup. We need to give him a name, do you have anything in mind?"  
What was he going to say? He still felt like Levi should be naming his son. He'd already considered Farlan for a middle name, but he's also considered Moblit too. He missed Moblit so fucking much. Shaking his head slightly, Levi kissed his temple again  
"That's alright. You look so natural holding him like this"  
"He looks very much like you"  
No. His son looked like Levi, in every single way... He was perfect.

When his pup was fed, Eren was shown how burp him. Something else he knew how to do. Warm spit slid down his shoulder as he patted the tiny boy's back softly  
"You're a natural at this. We'll leave bathing for now, but I think you two could use some more cuddle time. It's important for bonding. He's doing so well, and it won't be long until he's ready to go home"  
Levi beamed happily as they were left alone. Just the three of them. Yep  
"Let's get a photo of the two of you"  
He didn't want a photo, but that didn't stop Levi. Trying to smile, he knew he was failing miserably as Levi's smile started to waver   
"You don't need to force it, if you're tired. But you two look adorable together. My beautiful mate and our beautiful pup. I love you, so much. Do you want to see the photos?"  
Eren shook his head. He kind of just wanted to sleep  
"Alright. Do... do you mind if I put the photos up? I haven't posted anything online about the birth of our son"  
He wasn't sure if he believed Levi or not... and he hated it. Why couldn't he be all loved up with his lover and pup? Like Marco and Jean had been. Right. Marco wasn't a failure of an omega like he was. Nodding his head, Levi smiled softly  
"Hanji's been demanding photos for days, but I told her not until you've had time with him. I know how much all of this meant to you"  
Then why did he feel like a stranger to his pup?  
"Hey, it's going to get easier alright. When your hormones and emotions level out, you'll see you had nothing to worry about"  
Nothing to worry about. Then why was he like this? And what about the bullet still inside his mate? That wasn't a good thing. He didn't understand how Levi could smile... not when he felt cold and sick all the time. 

Wiping his dripping tears, Eren stared down at his pup, until a small red drip made narrowed his world down even further. The first drip was followed by a second. Whining, he held the small infant tight as he kicked out   
"Eren!"  
Hitting the call button first, Levi lifted their son from his hold. Rocking the small boy as he used his bandaged hand to wipe the blood on the pup's face. The alpha's sentences came out broken as he hushed their son  
"He's ok. He's ok, you've got a blood nose. Deep breaths, there's nothing to be scared of"  
What kind of parent got their blood over their child's face!? He was doing everything wrong... and didn't know how fix any of it. He couldn't be here. Not like this. He wanted to be good... but he didn't know how to be good anymore.

 

*  
The hospital was too much. The people constantly in and out of his room. The lack of privacy and the having to expose himself so they could monitor his healing. The way the nurses talked about him. It was too much. When the nurses came to check on him he showed him, he did everything he was told. He hadn't seen Levi all day, so if he was going to act, now was the only time. Climbing from his bed, he padded over to the wardrobe. Erwin had stupidly told him about how Levi had wanted him to bring clothes for the pair of them. Despite still feeling like a massive quivering lump, he found the bag with ease, pulling a change of clothes from it. Changing was awkward, his neglect of his body leaving him lightheaded, but it didn't dent his determination. He was going outside, and everyone who stood in his way could suck his dick. With his jeans buttoned up, Eren felt more human than he had in days. He didn't care if the rest of him looked like a wreck, he was wearing proper clothes and he was making a choice for himself.

Walking was harder than it should have been, but unlike where they usually kept him, bright orange arrows and friendly signs lead the way out the department, and from there it was just a trip down in the elevator, followed by a clear run to freedom. Freedom may have been covered in snow, but zero fucks were given as he stepped outside into the frigid wind. Fresh air felt amazing. The sting on his nose and cheeks welcome as he hugged himself, grateful Erwin had thought to throw a hoodie in for him. Wandering along the front of the hospital, he collapsed onto the bench beneath some huge tree with a happy sigh. Thanks to its canopy, the snow on the seat was minimal, even as it piled up around his boots. This. This was so much better than any therapy the hospital had to offer. There were no well meaning, yet overbearing, nurses. No one to tell him about his pup and what he was doing wrong. No Levi hovering with concern. Just... fresh air. Closing his eyes, he breathed in deep, pushing aside the tugging sensation in the back of his mind. If his omega wanted to go see their pup, they were welcome to. He, on the other hand, just wanted to sit beneath the tree forever. Resting his unused vocal cords, he found himself able to squeak out a few noises that resembled words. Maybe now he could ask for Levi to leave him alone to wallow in self pity?

Even as his body grew cold, all Eren did was pull his legs up to his chest. His belly was still there, puffed out and chubby like he was in the stages of pregnancy, but at least he could curl up again, even if it wasn't exactly comfortable. 

"Hi, Eren"  
Groaning to himself, Eren mentally cursed Mike as he raised his head to look at him. The tall alpha smiling as he held two steaming disposable coffee cups  
"Mind if I sit?"  
Trying to reply, he squeaked stupidly  
"I'll take that as a yes. Don't worry, I'm not here to tell you off"  
Rolling his eyes, he detangled his lanky form, taking the coffee cup offered to him as Mike sat  
"Needed some fresh air?"  
Nodding, Eren cupped his hands around the surprisingly warm cup. The liquid inside looked like coffee, but didn't have much of a smell  
"Feeling better?"  
Shaking his head, he was frustrated   
"Feeling better outside than in there?"  
Nodding, he turned to face Mike, drawing his left leg up so could rest his chin on it  
"Levi's probably wondering where you went. He had his scans this morning. They can't operate without risking paralysis"  
The cup started to slip in his hands. Mike sacrificing his own drink to prevent his from spilling  
"Eren, you can talk to me. I can smell your fear and confusion"  
Opening and closing his mouth, his eyes grew wet. The effort to make the words come hurt his head. Pulling his phone out, Mike opened a blank message before handing it over  
"Just type what you need to say"  
"I want to go home"  
"You want to go home?"  
Nodding, Mike moved the cup from his hands  
"Do you understand why you're still in hospital?"  
"They think I'm crazy"  
"Just a little. I hear you haven't been eating, or talking to Levi"  
His chest seized at Levi's name  
"I can't"  
"Why not?"  
"I let him down. And he got hurt"  
"You weren't to blame"  
"Mike... what's wrong with me? Why can't I love my son?"  
Mike smiled sadly  
"You're putting so much stress on yourself"  
"I feel like I can't breathe"  
"Physically?"  
"Everyone keeps touching me. There always someone in the room. I can't think. They keep forcing my pup at me. I feel like a stranger to him"  
"You're not a stranger"  
"Everyone met him first. I don't feel like his mum. But when I hold him... I don't feel like I should"  
"Eren, there's nothing wrong with you. You're emotions and hormones will level out"  
"When? And how do I teach a pup anything when I couldn't give birth right? I let him down and don't deserve him"  
"You didn't let him down"  
"He and Levi could have died and it was all my fault. Levi's so worried about me, but I feel sick. I feel like I can't breathe"  
"He loves you"  
"I don't know why anymore. He got shot. And I did nothing. I just can't do this anymore. I want... to die"  
Mike paused at the last message, taking the phone back, Eren erased it  
"I need space but... I abandoned my pup. I can't ask for space. I don't deserve it. My head is so busy... I can't sleep"  
Mike took a measured breath, placing the coffee cup against his leg  
"Is that was this is?"  
"This is me running away. From my pup and Levi. They'd be better without me. All I do is get people hurt and killed"  
"What Reiner did, that is not your fault"  
"Tell that to the voices in my head. I can't trust anything anymore. I want to be a good mum. But all they ever do is tell me what I'm doing wrong. I'm just... wrong"  
Mike frowned  
"You're not wrong"  
"I am..."  
This time he found his real voice, it crackled with his words  
"No, you're not"  
"I don't want to abandon him"  
Breaking down, Mike took his phone back, then moved the coffee cup. Wrapping his arms around him, the alpha rubbed his back  
"You didn't abandon him. He needed a little help and so did you"  
"I wasn't there for him! I have no right to him now!"  
"Yes you do. You have every right"  
"I don't... I can't live like this!"  
"I can get a few days leave. How would you like to spend a couple of days at my house. It'll give you a break from the hospital"  
"They keep touching me... I feel so sick"  
"They're only trying to make sure you're healing properly"  
"It... it makes me feel disgusting. I'm disgusting. Reiner told Levi I slept with Zeke. I didn't... I don't know why Levi still loves me"  
"I think you need to think of yourself for now"  
"I don't want to contaminate Levi's son"  
"He's your son too"  
"No... if he was, I would have been stronger"  
"Are you telling me that other people who have c-sections due to crashes and such, and have to wait days to meet their children aren't real parents?"  
Eren shook his head  
"Then what makes you different?"  
"I'm dirty. Erwin told me about my son before I met him. He told people. When I was pregnant, he told people. Everyone else knows more about the pup then I do. It's not fair!"  
Mike hushed him, rubbing his back  
"No. It's not. Levi didn't want anyone else meeting your son before you did"  
"He said I met him after I birthed him, but I can't remember"  
"You had a horrible labour. Your mind blocked it out to protect you from the trauma"  
"We were supposed to be happy"  
Eren's voice trailed off into a whisper  
"And you will be. You're fucking freezing. How about you finish that hot chocolate? Then I'll talk to your doctor about your progress. But, you need to make me a promise"  
"W-what?"  
"When Levi brings your son home, you'll meet with him"  
"I..."  
"He loves you. You know he's crazy about you"  
"I don't know... he was wearing the engagement ring he got me. Maybe he doesn't want to propose anymore?"  
"From what I hear, he wanted to put it on your finger the first moment he could, but didn't want you to feel pressured"  
"I keep seeing him die..."  
"He's not going to die. Here, you really need to drink this"  
Forcing him to take the cup, Eren's tears dropped into the drink  
"Can I go back to the apartment?"  
Mike paused, leaving Eren to chew on his lip   
"You need someone to look after you"  
"I'll be good... I need... I'm scared"  
"You need somewhere you feel safe?"  
Nodding, Eren trapped his lip again. It wasn't like he didn't like Mike. But Mike didn't have all his blankets. He didn't have four locks on his front door and a lock on his room door. He didn't have all his things... and all the things that made him feel safe   
"I don't feel safe here... I want to feel safe"  
"I understand. I still can't let you go home alone"  
"I'm sorry..."  
"You don't need to apologise. Hang on"

Eren hadn't heard of felt Mike's phone ringing, but he could hear Levi's voice through the device as Mike reassured him that Eren was with him and alright. He wouldn't have said he was alright. He probably would have locked him up if he was in Mike's position. He didn't understand why Mike was being nice to him. Alphas were only nice to kind and good omega's, not like him. He was as bad as they came. Ending the call, Mike sighed softly   
"That was Levi. He's being released tomorrow, and your pup can come home at the end of the week"  
So he wouldn't get any time to himself...  
"It's alright. We'll still talk to your doctor about your release"  
"I can't be with them... when I'm like this"  
"Then we'll sort something else out"

Hanging his head, Eren didn't know what possible choices there were. He should have just run while he could.


	59. Chapter 59

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okies!! Here's the dealio. There's the next chapter and the epilogue left... sweats nervously... you know when you two or three lines in your head you just have to use, that's how one more chapter turned to two...
> 
>  
> 
> Anyway... you know I'm not one for magical cures... sooo... yep. Eren is dangerously close to what they call an omega drop, his thoughts and memories scattered thanks to his depression and his lingering confusion over everything that's happened. That's why if things don't quite line up, it's because the poor kid is confused and scared.

Carrying his newborn pup into the apartment, it wasn't the homecoming Levi had expected. Eren was standing by the sofa, the two of them both finally home, though Mike had organised for Eren's discharge the two days earlier. Holding his pup, he was proud the boy was finally home. In the hospital, things between the three of them had been so strained. Here was there safe space  
"Hey, Eren. Look who's home"  
Blinking at him, Eren bit his bottom lip, the tips of his lips turning into a smile, though he was trying his hardest not to let it show  
"He's ok. They wouldn't have released him into our care if he wasn't"  
Sinking down onto the sofa's arm, Eren covered his face, starting to cry softly as he did. As if picking up on his mother's distress, their son let out a cry of his own. For a pup that was born early, he had an impressive set of lungs in him  
"Shhh... Mum's ok. I'm going to settle him down, then I think we should talk"

Walking into the nursery, the room felt almost distant. Like they hadn't been in it in years... even with the clear evidence that someone had indeed been in there. The cot was made up with soft fresh blankets, the floor vacuumed and the surfaces dusted. The only person he could think of doing such things was Eren, but Eren didn't seem to be in the right mental state to have been responsible. With a gentle smile, Levi lowered his son into the cot, the small boy stretching as Levi stroked the few escaping wispy strands of black hair. His son was the most amazing gift he'd ever been blessed with... there was absolutely nothing he wouldn't do for the small boy, even if it cost him everything. Kissing his forehead, he sighed to himself, not wanting to leave the boy alone for a single second, but he really needed to talk to Eren. Mike had said Eren had been verbal, and he prayed his omega still was, and the night they'd spent apart had been able to ease and help with whatever pain Eren was suffering  
"I love you, my precious pup. Get some sleep, then daddy will be back for more snuggles"  
He was wrapped around his son's little finger and didn't give two shits who knew.

In his absence, Eren had moved to the sofa. The omega looking frail as Levi sat on the coffee table across from him. The deep bags and Eren's sucked cheeks left him angry. He'd been in hospital because he needed help, instead, he looked like he'd been neglected during the two-ish weeks he'd been in there  
"Hey. He's fine, the moment his head his the mattress, he stopped crying"  
Eren nodded slowly  
"I think we need to talk, now that we're alone"  
"I... don't know what to say"  
"Hello?"  
"Levi. I can't do this"  
"What do you mean you can't do this?"  
"I don't want to hurt him... I don't want to make him dirty"  
"You're not going to hurt him"  
"He's so small... I'm so scared. Levi, I don't want to make him dirty"  
It took Levi a long moment, but he still wasn't understanding why Eren thought himself dirty  
"What do you mean?"  
Jumping to his feet, Eren tried to flee to his room. Grabbing his hand, Levi rose as the same time, pulling him into his arms  
"I'm wrong! I'm wrong! I ran away from you! I abandoned him! I don't have a right to be his mother! Don't you get it?! I couldn't even give birth right! I had to meet him through everyone else! I can't let him be like me... someone who's dirty"  
"Why do you keep saying you're dirty?! You're not dirty!"  
"I am! I get people killed! I can't get your blood off my hands! I scrub and I scrub and I feel it. Levi, I can't! You. You said you'd take a hundred bullets like it was nothing! It's not nothing! I can't... I can't lose you like that. You keep dying and I can't lose you or him... I'm so scared..."  
Levi caught Eren as he fainted, lifting his way too light fiancée into his arms, his hand twinged. That was the most Eren had spoken to him since he'd woke. Carrying his omega to their room, the bed was remade, laying Eren down on his side of the bed, the omega whimpered in his sleep, looking more like a tiny child than a new mum. Kissing his omega's forehead, he sighed to himself, he wanted to climb into bed with his mate. He wanted to kiss away his worries... but he had an apartment to organise and pup to check.

Placing his son on his shoulder, Levi nuzzled against his head softly. The small pup was so soft and warm. Walking through the apartment, it was way too clean. And way to have been cleaned by Erwin or Hanji... maybe Mike, but that was highly unlikely. Opening the fridge, he found it filled with precooked meals, and fresh fruit and vegetables... alright... so they didn't need to do food shopping... back tracking, he scanned the living area, with his eyes ending up on the pile of Eren's school books sitting on the kitchen table. So his omega had been busy? He'd done all this? The idiot was still recovering. He still needed time... but... Eren had prepared their whole apartment for him and their son... for an omega who said he'd abandoned his own pup, these weren't the actions one would expect. Kissing the baby boy, he sighed to himself. If only Eren could see all the things he was doing, then maybe he could see that he'd never abandoned his pup to begin with. 

With a weary sigh, Levi sat himself down at the dining table, looking to Eren's half done work. He'd forgotten about his omega's schooling, and there was no way he was letting his mate fail. Eren knew this stuff. Even if he didn't think he did. Opening his mate's notebook, he flicked through the pages with a small smile. When Eren had first started writing, it could barely be called writing, and now... well, it was still a scrawl that made him cringe, but it was readable. Page after page his fiancée had worked through math problems, not always getting them right... but still trying his fucking hardest. Hearing Titan yowl, the table tilted as his fat cat made an appearance, eyeing the pup on his shoulder in annoyance   
"What? Don't you want to meet your baby brother?"  
Lowering his son, the boy let out a cry. Titan falling backwards off the dining table in an attempt to run for his life. The fat cat sliding all over the floor as he shot into the room he shared with Eren, while Levi was left pissing himself laughing. In his arms, his son continued to cry  
"Oh, pup. I needed that. I know he seems pretty big to you, but he's Titan. Your big brother..."  
Raising the pup back to his shoulder, he hushed him softly as he rubbed his back  
"We need a name for you... but I have no idea what mummy's been thinking. He loves you. He's just scared of hurting you because you're so damn tiny. I'd say you're smaller than Mina and Anna, but that's ok, because you're my son and that makes you much better than them. You know... mum's been through so much... we both have, but that doesn't mean we don't love you... and it doesn't mean that I don't love your mum. Let's take a look at mum's homework? He thinks he's stupid. What a silly mummy"

Feeling like a teacher, then feeling old, because he was marking Eren's work with a red pen... kids these days probably had no clue what that meant, Levi worked through Eren's notes, correcting his mate's spelling and questions. The omega definitely had the basics down, and the way the school wanted him to work things out made no sense to the alpha, so he was ahead of him in that. Reaching the end of Eren's work, he flicked through the rest of the notebook, finding a page half way through that was stained with tears. The top was simply titled "Names", Farlan scrawled and circles, an arrow pointing to the word "middle". So Eren was thinking Farlan for the pups middle name... he couldn't believe it. His brat... he'd thought the middle name of Farlan was just a small and stupid dream he'd had on his own. But Eren was thinking of him... now... now was just.. a first name. Eren had written a list down, then crossed off three-quarters of them... His son was definitely not a Daniel... or a Samuel... or a Nicholas... he snorted at the name Chad, scribbled out so hard Eren had torn the paper. If they were naming their son Farlan Ackerman, he had no idea what a good first name was... running his fingers over the page, he sighed at his own on Eren's list. His mate had printed next to it "who doesn't need me". Of course he fucking needed him. Crossing out the "doesn't" he then added an "s" to the end of "need". That was better  
"What do you think your name should be? You're the one who has to put up with it... I can't name you Eren. I already have one Eren, and there'll never be another quite like him... Let's go see what your mum has to say?"

Eren was sprawled across their bed, his breasts and stomach exposed by his hiked up shirt. Levi's pillow in his hold as snored. Titan was sleeping under Eren's head, the pair in a world of their own. Aside from Eren's mental fatigue, his mate had to be exhausted from cleaning the apartment. Shifting Eren's legs, the his fiancée curled around his pillow with a deep groan. It should be illegal for anyone to be this cute. Climbing up next to his omega, Levi placed his hand Eren's hair, Titan squeaking as Eren rolled over to grab at his jeans  
"I love you, Eren. Always, no matter what happens"

Their pup didn't let Eren sleep, the tiny boy waking Eren from his slumber. With fearful eyes, Eren stared up at them  
"Hey there beautiful. He's hungry, do you want to try feeding him?"  
Eren continued to stare at him  
"It's alright. I know you're scared, but I'll help you"  
Eren slowly dragged himself up, Titan glaring at the disturbance before running from the pup. Placing Levi's pillow between them as he stared, Eren didn't look well at all. Maybe he should have left him sleeping... but they'd needed to have this talk, a talk Eren had been too scared to have in hospital. It was understandable given the amount of time he'd spent there since they'd met was way too much  
"I know you know how to take care of a pup. You did an amazing job with Anna, and I know you'll do an amazing job with our boy... we need to pick a first name, but Farlan is a good middle name"  
"You..."  
"I checked your homework, and found your list"  
"Oh..."  
"I completely agree with you, Chad is a horrible name. Would you like to feed him?"  
"You... want me touch him?"  
Levi rolled his eyes   
"He's your son too. He's our son"  
"I don't deserve him"  
"You do. And before you say it, you're not going to hurt him"  
Not giving Eren a chance to keep objecting, he passed their pup into his arms. With a shaking finger, Eren let their son wrap his tiny hand around it  
"He's... so small"  
"Yep. And he came out your arse"  
"He didn't feel small... my arse still hurts"  
Was that... Did he just... and was that a smile?  
"I don't know if I understand what you're feeling? But you weren't the only one who had to wait. He was three days old before I got the chance to see him again... We didn't choose to abandon him, and we didn't"  
"I don't know what day he was born..."  
"On the 8th of December, at 9:48pm... according to Mike. You finished giving birth as we arrived at the hospital"  
"Really?"  
"You really don't remember, do you?"  
"The pain. I remember the pain, but... Mike said I don't have to force it... and that maybe because I had head trauma"  
"Yeah. It's a good thing you're so thick skulled"  
Eren's eyes filled with tears as their pup failed to latch  
"It's ok. You don't need to cry. I'll help you"  
"I should be able to do this!"  
"Eren, stop. Stop being so hard on yourself. He's not used to how soft your nipples are, he just needs a little help"  
"If I'd been there since the start..."  
"You wouldn't have been able to feed him. He needed help remember... and even if he'd had a normal birth, he still would have needed help"  
"I... can't do this"  
"You can"  
"I can't. I... Levi..."  
Moving to help Eren with the pup, it took only seconds for the boy to latch, then release, then latch again...  
"See... Eren?"  
Eren was crying, his body shaking   
"Talk to me. What are you thinking right now?"  
"That... that he doesn't like me... he won't latch for me... he doesn't like me"  
"Eren, he's a pup. Who was being fed through a feeding tube, then by bottle. Just give him a chance"  
"But he likes you. He feeds for you"  
"Yes, because I'm the one he's latched onto right now"  
"I feel like... I'm doing everything wrong"  
"You're feeding our son. In our apartment that you cleaned. You were supposed to be resting. Don't tell me Mike left you here alone?"  
"Kind of. I couldn't take being in the hospital anymore... he wanted to stay, but the moment he stepped into our home, I couldn't... I couldn't take it anymore. I kind of threw him out... and lost it a little"  
"You cleaned the apartment..."  
"I just wanted to do something right. They made me feel so wrong"  
They? Not he? Not Reiner?  
"They?"  
"The nursing staff... I couldn't calm down and it didn't feel safe. I couldn't think. It felt like... like they were judging me"  
"So you feel better being here?"  
"This is our safe space, right?"  
Levi smiled, nuzzling Eren's shoulder. His omega was still in there somewhere, even with all the pain he was suffering   
"Yeah. It is. Our little bubble"  
"Right... I know I'm not good, but... I want to be ok"  
"You're going to be just fine. And you are good. You're such a good omega"  
"Reiner hurt you..."  
"No. Reiner has taken too much from both of us. He hurt you. He tried to hurt our son. He's gone Eren"  
"Because you had to kill him. I didn't want you to know how that felt... to be responsible"  
"I don't regret it"  
"He knew Levi. He knew he wasn't getting out of there. He'd given up"  
"What makes you say that?"  
"Because he and I are more alike than I want to think about. When he shot you. I couldn't breathe. I wanted to get revenge. That's all I could think about. Was that I wanted him dead... and now you're going to have that bullet in you forever and he did that to you. It feels like you're always going to carry a part of him in you"  
"He means nothing to me. You and our son. That's all that matters"  
"I keep dreaming of my dad dying, but it's you. You dying in my arms and I can't get your blood off me. I scrub and I scrub, but it won't stop..."  
Eren covered his mouth, Levi lifting the pup from his breast. His mate looked as if he was about to vomit, instead, he shook his head as he swallowed hard. Eren's nightmares really were a force to be reckoned with... but maybe knowing he wasn't alone was what he needed  
"I've been having nightmares too. That Reiner took you from me. That he cut our pup from you and you bled to death..."  
"Why didn't he kill me?"  
"Don't say that. Don't... I don't want to live without you"  
"Then why are you wearing the engagement ring you bought me... I though you didn't need me anymore"  
Levi sucked his lips in, feeling stupid as he placed their pup on his shoulder   
"You don't have to tell me. I think I'm going to take a shower"  
Eren started climbing off the bed  
"No. Wait. I fucked up. Ok. I was thinking how much I wanted to put it in your finger, and I put it on mine... and now it's stuck"  
"It's stuck?"  
"Yep. So it's not because I don't want you, but because it's stuck. It looks like you'll have to wear the one on the chain for now"  
"You really got it stuck?"  
"It wasn't on purpose!"  
He felt stupid enough over it. Now Eren was fucking laughing at him over it. Or atleast, his scent was  
"I'm not going to hear the end of this, am I?"  
And there he went putting his foot in it   
"It's ok, I'm joking"  
Eren resumed climbing off the bed, rubbing his face as he stood  
"Sorry... my head just feels a mess. Everything you say, it sends my omega spiralling. It tells me how I shouldn't be with you or with him. That a real omega would... would never let his mate and pup be hurt. I'm sorry... I need some air"  
"Alright. I think I'm going to settle him down in here, and let him get used to our scents. They're strongest here"  
Eren nodded   
"I... uh... the baby bath is in the bathtub... I'll be in my room"  
"We'll save bath time until later. My hands still healing"  
And sending pins and needles through his arm when he moved it too much... something he'd have to get used to  
"Ok. Just. I'll come out when I'm ready"  
"I know you will. I love you, Eren"  
Burping his son, he laid the infant down in the spot Eren had been in. Shuffling down, he buried his face against the pups small head, his hand placed protectively across the boy, yet lightly enough so as to not cause him to vomit   
"See. Mummy just needs to calm down. He loves you, so much. And I love you. Though, if you want to cut him break when it comes to feeding, that would be great"

 

Fucking Hanji. Levi hadn't meant to pass out on his bed next to their pup, nor had he expected to wake up to Hanji's overly happy tone chatting away at Eren. Gathering their son up, the boy definitely needed a nappy change. Though he was still sleeping peacefully. He'd never get used to how innocent his own son looked. Or the love and affection that swelled with just one look to the boy. Carrying his pup against his shoulder, Levi yawned as he walked from the bedroom. Eren was sitting at the dining table, looking like a scared rabbit, while the apartment had been invaded by balloons, Hanji, Erwin, Mike and Anna  
"Levi! I thought you were going to sleep through our visit"  
"I wish I had. Now back off, and leave my fiancée alone"  
"I wasn't doing anything, I was just surprised he was doing class work"  
"So what if he is? He's got this..."  
Mike cast him a sympathetic glance as Levi moved to cross the living room  
"Is that my baby boy? Can I have a hold?"  
"No. He needs a nappy change"  
"Let me..."  
Levi scowled at Hanji   
"I don't want you pawing at my pup"  
"But Levi! I had to wait months to meet him and I was soooo good. I waited until you came home"  
Letting out a whimper, Eren covered his mouth and bolted for the bathroom, a few moments later, Levi was scrunching up his nose at the sound of his mate vomiting  
"I'll go check on"  
"Thanks, Mike"  
Hanji's smile fell  
"Is he ok?"  
"No. He's really not ok at all"  
"Has he... is he bonding with your son? Have you named him?"  
Levi mentally stammered, he didn't want to be having this talk with Hanji, his mouth moving without him thinking   
"His names Viren Farlan Ackerman..."  
It was the last name on Eren's list and the first thing that just came out... fuck... now he was going to have calm Eren over this name thing  
"And we were trying to settle in, when you decide you were magically coming to visit. I'll be back in a minute"  
"Levi"  
Erwin's tone was warning, but the alpha saw nothing wrong in his actions. Three uninvited alpha's were in their apartment. Invading his fragile omega's safe place. For want of a better term, the whole apartment was a nest to Eren, and they'd entered his nest uninvited  
"Look. Eren isn't ok. And this isn't ok. You all should just go"  
"We're worried about Eren"  
"If you're worried about him, then you should go. Today's the first time he started to feel a little normal, and now he's back to being scared all over again. I know you want to meet him, but not like this"  
"Levi, that was uncalled for"  
"No, Erwin. You have seen what Eren's going through. You should have thought this through"  
Hanji sniffled, scooping Anna up into her arms  
"It's just... its Christmas tomorrow and we knew you couldn't visit us"  
When the fuck did it become Christmas Eve? His dates and times were completely screwed. He hadn't actually got anything for Eren after all, and his engagement ring was stuck on his fucking finger   
"Look. Let me take care of my son, then we'll talk. Sit down and try not to scare Eren when he finally comes out. He's even more fragile than after Zeke's death and his pregnancy scare combined"  
The last part was low enough that Eren wouldn't hear his words. His mate had made a lot of effort, as far as he was concerned. He'd tried to make their apartment perfect for his return, and he'd tried to do his school work. Even if it was just a distraction from his pain, he felt comfortable enough to attempt it in their apartment.

 

*  
Being in the apartment had felt safe until Hanji had knocked on the door, her loud voice calling his name as Eren's heart raced so hard that it threatened to explode. It was the first time someone had knocked since the Reiner incident, and he hadn't been prepared for it, nor had been prepared for Levi not to engage all four door locks, that he'd left undone purely for the alpha. Since coming home, he felt like he could breathe again. There was one watching him or judging him. No one wanting him to spread his legs, to poke and prod at him. And Titan. Titan had been all over him. He'd been scared Reiner had hurt the fat cat, so finding him very much ok and very much starving to death, despite the full bowl, did wonders for his mood. Mike had wanted to stay, but the moment he'd stepped into the apartment and taken a deep lungful of his and Levi's scents, he couldn't stomach having another alpha there. It almost felt like he was cheating on Levi, even if nothing remotely close to sexual happened. Mike had made him promise to call, so he had... around making everything perfect for Levi. He wanted to show his alpha that... that he didn't want to run, even if that's all his mouth and legs were doing. Being home and remembering how things had been... it was easier to believe that maybe things might be that way again. Even if he'd left his alpha and his pup behind selfishly.

Emptying the contents of his stomach, he tensed as Mike walked in behind him. He couldn't help but whimper as the alpha approached   
"Eren, are you ok?"  
He was pretty sure he didn't look ok. He hadn't slept at all the previous night. Someone had brought their mail in for him, and he'd had to wrap gifts for Levi and their son  
"Just... give me a minute"  
Sitting on the edge of the bathtub, Mike didn't approach, giving Eren enough time to stop vomiting and wash the mess away  
"Sorry... I wasn't expecting visitors"  
"Hanji wanted to drop off your Christmas presents. I did tell her to call ahead"  
"My phone's off, now that Levi's home. I thought I wouldn't need to check in"  
"Ah. She didn't tell me that. Have you been eating?"  
"Y-yeah. It's better being here... it's easier"  
"Really? You don't look very well. Any fever? Or pain?"  
"No... I had a talk with Levi and I'm... there's too many alpha's here. I can't handle it"  
"That's ok. I don't think we'll be staying that long, well, long enough for Hanji to finally meet your son. Have you two talked about a name?"  
"A little..."  
Eren's hands were balled so tightly into fists, his nails were digging into his palms. His hands already ached from how many times he'd tried to scrub Levi's blood off them. The need to scratch was getting hard to ignore, as was the need to do something even stupider  
"Levi just said his name is Viren"  
Viren had barely made it on his list, but it was Levi's right to name his son. He nodded stiffly... he needed to calm down  
"Farlan for a middle name"  
"Farlan. Levi must be stoked. I always knew he had Farlan in mind if he had a son"  
"He was important to him"  
And it wasn't like he could use the names "Zeke" or "Grisha"... it'd kind of been an easy decision... even if Levi had wanted Farlan for the middle name, his alpha hadn't pushed it. Maybe because he'd chosen the middle name, it was ok for Levi to choose the first?  
"Mike, can you give me a few minutes. I need to take a shower"  
There were way too many scents... and he didn't want to smell like such a basket case when he came out  
"Alright. But..."  
"I know. Pain. Fever. Or bleeding, I'm supposed to call"  
"Just making sure"

The first few minutes showering helped to soothe him, but the next few wrecked him. Using Levi's body wash, he felt grounded as his distress was washed down the drain. Since giving birth, he hadn't slicked once, but was too ashamed to ask if it was normal. He wasn't up for sex so soon, not when he couldn't stomach looking at his own body. He wasn't ashamed of carrying his pup, but the fact he'd gained weight while doing so left him stupidly insecure. He didn't feel sexy. He didn't feel confident. He didn't feel nice enough to be on Levi's arm, and he couldn't see whatever it was that Levi seemed to see in him. He'd been told he wouldn't go into heat for the first 6 months after giving birth, but with how messed up his heats usually were, he wouldn't be surprised if he went into heat sooner. All it took was a single look to Levi to send his thoughts scattering and ignite the base flame of desire in his stomach... even if the thought of sex completely revolted him at the moment. Ok. So maybe he was still more fucked up than he'd liked to admit... but he had tried to be good. He'd cooked and cleaned. He'd fed Levi's pup when he'd asked him too, when it was clear the small boy didn't like him. Closing his eyes, Eren leant his forehead against the blissfully cool tiles of the shower wall. He needed to do better. Taking a deep breath, he'd intended to forced his emotions further down. With the bathroom door cracked open, courtesy of Mike, a snippet of laughter reached his ears. Tears filled his eyes as his omega mocked him. Out there, Levi was with his friends and son. He had everyone he needed and that wasn't him... if their alpha loved them, then why hadn't he come to check on him? He'd been confused when Levi hadn't checked on him before, peeking into the alpha's bedroom to find Levi smiling in his sleep next to his pup. He'd rushed to do his homework to take his mind off how pathetically jealous he felt of the situation. A situation he could only blame himself over... As Hanji's voice rose to tease Levi, Eren sank to the floor, both hands against the shower wall. Why couldn't he be out there with them? Why did he have to be so wrong? He'd talked to Levi... he'd been scared but they were home now. In their safe place. He didn't think a knock on the door would shake him so much. Why was he always so weak? Levi was the one who'd been shot. The one with the bullet in him. The one who could be fucking paralysed by it. He may have slightly googled he fuck out gun shot wounds when he'd come home... it was because of him that Levi might never be able to have a normal life. And Levi still said he loved him. Zeke would have left him. Zeke had left him for less. Zeke had promised he loved him, had taken care of him. Levi wasn't Zeke, but that didn't mean he wouldn't get tired of him like his brother had. That the alpha wouldn't sell him off some day. He wanted to scream at the voices in his head to stop, but he couldn't bring himself to. Not when they were right.

 

*  
Ignoring Hanji's annoying howl of laughter, Levi stared past her and towards the bathroom door. The feeling of something being very wrong was starting to build. Mike had said Eren wanted to shower due to everyone's scent which was fine. Levi agreed completely that there were far too many scents in their apartment, yet, it felt like Eren was taking far too long. Hence the teasing from Hanji. Rising to his feet, he handed Viren to Mike, who took the boy with a look of confusion while Hanji began to complain about it being "unfair since she hadn't had a hold". Striding over to the bathroom, he pushed the door in enough to stick his head around the corner. Fuck  
"Levi?!"

Ignoring Erwin, he let himself into the room. Curled on the shower floor, looked broken. His eyes staring straight ahead as chest heaved. He'd fucking known it was too much for him. He shouldn't have tolerated a visit from the three idiots, even if it was Christmas Eve. Reaching in, he groaned to himself at how fucking cold the water was. Eren always like to finish his showers with a quick cold rinse. Some shit about his pores or something. Shutting the water off, he stepped into the stall. Eren's back towards him as he cautiously placed a hand on Eren's shoulder   
"Eren? You gonna come out?"  
"Levi?! Is he ok?"  
Eren jumped at Hanji's voice, whining unconsciously for his alpha to help him, as his legs slipped out from under him  
"You're ok. Hey. It's ok"  
Lifting Eren less than gracefully, his mate shivered violently as he was lifted off the freezing floor. Carrying him to the bathroom bench, he placed Eren down as if he was made of glass. His omega having been under the water long enough to tinge his lips blue  
"Oh, brat. Hold on"  
Grabbing Eren's towel off the rack, he wrapped it around Eren's shoulders, rubbing his arms in an attempt to warm him  
"I'm sorry. I should have made them leave sooner. It's ok. You're ok now"

Rubbing Eren's arms wasn't getting his mate warmed up fast enough. Guiding Eren's face to the crook of his neck, he wrapped his arms around Eren, kissing his wet hair  
"You're ok. I've got you"  
Slowly, Eren's frozen fingers gripped his shirt. His mate nuzzling his neck with his cold nose  
"That's it. Take a few deep breaths. I've got you"  
"L-Levi?"  
"I've got you, baby. I've got you. You're ok"  
"It's cold"  
"Just a little..."  
"P-please don't get rid of me"  
"Eren, I could never get rid of you. Ever. You're everything to me"  
"You don't need me anymore"  
"I do. I need you every single day for the rest of our lives"  
"Everyone leaves me"  
Eren's words were whispered mumbles, if he hadn't been so close to his ear, Levi probably would have missed them   
"I'm not leaving you. I promise you"  
"I don't want to be like this"  
"I know you don't. But I'm not going anywhere"  
Nudging Eren's legs apart further, Levi pulled him tighter to him. The move wasn't sexual, instead he just wanted to hold as much of his omega as he could  
"I'm not going anywhere... I've got you"  
Kissing Eren's hair between the words, his fiancée was still shivering.

"Levi, is he alright?"  
Eren jumped at Hanji's voice. He'd nearly soothed his omega to sleep in his hold. His scent was finally clearing of the emotional pain he felt, and the feeling through their bond had been growing towards something more than Eren's deep fear. Then she ruined it. Eren's fear spiked, between them growing warm as he realised Hanji had scared Eren enough for him to wet himself  
"You need to leave"  
"Levi"  
"You need to go. He's in overload. This apartment is our safe place and he was having a panic attack on the shower floor"  
"Ok... Eren. Sweetheart, it's Hanji. I just want to say congratulations. I know you're not feeling great, but we'll come visit you guys soon"  
Eren didn't move to talk to her   
"Ok. Should I tell Mike to place Viren down in his cot?"  
"Yeah. That would be great"  
"Merry Christmas guys. And happy birthday for tomorrow"  
"Hanji, just go"  
"I'm going"  
Hanji's heart was in the right place, but she was trying to love Eren to death and that was his job. He actually knew how to love his omega... or at least he used to. It wasn't like he didn't love Eren, he just needed to work out Eren's new triggers, and alphas other than seemed to be number one. Closing the door softly behind her, Levi ignored his desire to strip  
"I'm going to grab a towel, and we'll clean this up. Don't worry, I'm not mad. We'll get through all of this together, and we do, I'm going to marry the absolute shit out of you. So you better be prepared to be Eren Ackerman before you know what's happening"  
"S-sorry"  
"It's ok. I love you"

With Eren clean and Levi only wearing a towel, the alpha was again carrying his omega. Eren's long legs wrapped around him as he carried him into his own bedroom, at Eren's request. He could see why. His omega had built himself another massive nest, this one including clothes they'd bought for their pup, and every soft cushion Levi had got for his omega during his pregnancy. On his bedside table sat two half drunk bottles of water, and an empty rice cracker packet. At least Eren had eaten something. Sitting him down, Eren climbed under the covers on his own. His breathing had calmed to a hiccup, bordering a purr, the scents of the living room really seemed to have been what set it off... and fuck did he hate that purr  
"Eren, do you want to be alone? I can go back to my room, if it's all too much?"  
"C-can you shower and come back?"  
Levi's eyes widened a fraction, as his heart leapt with happiness. His voice shook as he tried not to scare Eren by being too happy   
"Are you sure?"  
"I want to... wake up with you. I don't want another bad dream"  
Levi mentally apologised to Viren. It was still rather early, despite his unintended nap. They'd probably be woken soon anyway for another feed   
"Alright"  
"Can you check the locks too? All four and the ones of the balcony?"  
"Sure thing... Viren will need feeding soon, so I'll check him on the way back"  
Eren nodded slowly  
"It's alright, baby. You just rest"

 

Viren was crying when Levi stepped out the shower. He'd checked all the locks, which he would have done anyway. Eren's safety was his number one concern. Carrying the baby boy into Eren's room, Eren had pulled himself up to sit only to have fallen asleep once he had. Roused by Viren's cries, Eren blinked at him with a small yawn   
"Someone missed their mum"  
"Someone missed my boobs"  
"I know I did"  
Eren shot him a glare as he took Viren into his hold  
"I don't think I can ever hold him and not be scared"  
"He'll grow. He's strong, like you are"  
"I don't want him to be like me"  
"I do. You've been through so much. And you're so strong. I love you so much"  
Eren shook his head, his eyes on Viren's face as he moved to raise the pup to his breast. Taking a few attempts, Viren latched on his own. Relief flooding Eren's face  
"He... he just..."  
Sitting on the edge of the bed, Levi wrapped his arm around Eren's shoulder, pulling his mate against him so he could nuzzle into his hair  
"See. He missed his mum. He's learning too, just like we are"  
"I... I'm still so scared of hurting him. Of making him dirty"  
"You're not dirty. You know I know those things Reiner said aren't true. I understand what you went through with Zeke, and that it wasn't sexual"  
"But I killed Bertholdt"  
"No. He was in a coma. Between you fighting him off and him passing away, anything could have happened"  
"I stabbed Reiner in the neck. I was trying to kill him. My dad died trying to get me out of there. He killed so many people Levi. And the omegas. What if Reiner was right? What if they all died? What about all the omegas parted from their pups? Their pups, who were... killed. All the omegas over the years who were forced to say goodbye"  
"Eren. Would you ever set up an organisation to take pup's away?"  
"N-No"  
"So why are you blaming yourself for the actions of rich fucked up pigs? I know you. All you want is to help omegas, to give them a voice and a safe home"  
"But..."  
"Reiner had lost his mind. He was trying to hurt both of us mentally as well as physically. You can't believe anything he said"  
"I can't get him out my head"  
"You've got a lot going on in there, huh?"  
Eren let out a soft sigh, nuzzling into him  
"Too much"  
"You still feel cold"  
"I am, a little"  
"When Viren's done feeding, I'll take care of changing him and putting him back to bed"  
"I'm sorry"  
"No. Baby steps remember. You're exhausted"  
"I really am"

Readying his pup for bed, Levi settled him down in his cot, turning the baby monitor on and snagging the receiver as he left. Heading back to Eren's room, his omega looked too comfortable to disturb. Walking around Eren's bed, he cursed as he tripped not realising there was a small pile of presents hidden down the side of the bed. Fuck. Christmas. His birthday. Eren was more prepared than he was, and the Christmas tree wasn't even in the living room, though it was assembled in the corner of Eren's bedroom. Eren had made sure everything was perfect for their return. So decorating for his least favourite holiday of the year, was the least he could do.

 

*  
Waking up in Levi's hold, it took Eren a few moments to figure out just what had woken him. Behind him, Levi was whimpering his name on repeat, Levi's legs kicking his as he struggled against him... while holding him stupidly tight. Struggling to free himself, he forced his alpha's hand off his stomach, as he rolled to face Levi. Levi's brow was damp with sweat, his face pained as he panted  
"Levi"  
Shaking his alpha, Levi growled. Shaking him even harder, Levi yelled out his name. His fiancée trying to save him, despite the fact it was all just a dream. Rolling to straddle his mate, he shook him again  
"Levi, wake up for me. Come on..."  
Shaking Levi slightly too hard, his alpha shot up, head butting him firmly in the process. Yelping in pain, Eren fell sideways as Levi dropped back against the cushion he was using as a pillow  
"Ow! What the fuck? Eren?"  
Moaning as he rubbed his head, Eren would have laughed if he hadn't felt so fucking shitty  
"Eren?"  
"I'm ok... Fuck. You have a hard head"  
"What were you doing?"  
"Trying to wake you up. You were having a nightmare"  
Levi blindly reached for him with his left hand, his right covering his face  
"Are you ok? Did I hurt you?"  
"Not on purpose. You wouldn't wake up"  
"Shit... I feel like shit"  
"Nightmares will do that"  
Levi's hand finally closed around his wrist, pulling him forcefully into his hold. Rubbing his back, Levi sighed before starting to pat the spot he'd been rubbing  
"Shit. I'm so sorry"  
"I'm ok... not exactly the wake up I was expecting. Do... I should get off you"  
"No! No... just... give me a minute"  
Eren could Levi's heart racing, his own heart beating just as hard. Nuzzling his neck, his alpha sighed   
"Fuck. I was dreaming you left me and I couldn't find you"  
"I'm sorry"  
"No. It's not your fault. I need you Eren. More than I've ever needed anyone or anything in my life... give me a little longer with you like this"  
"But..."  
Pulling up, Eren stared down at Levi's eyes, his alpha moving the hand that had been on his red forehead to cup his cheek  
"You're so fucking beautiful. I don't deserve you"  
"I'm the one who doesn't deserve you. Um... this is probably weird, but happy birthday. I didn't make you a cake, but I promise I will"  
"You don't need to"  
Eren's disappointment must have showed. He was trying to be as normal as he could be... even when all he wanted to do was bolt from Levi's lap  
"But, we can make a cake together. It's our son's first Christmas"  
"I didn't decorate"  
"I don't mind. All I need is you"  
"I wish you wouldn't keep saying that..."  
"Why not?"  
"Because I feel like... I feel bad you have to keep being strong for me. I woke you because you were having a nightmare... you're the one suffering"  
"It was a dream. I like the real life you much better"  
"I don't like me very much"  
"That's ok. I told you long ago that I'd love you, even on the days you can't love yourself"  
Eren hung his head, moving place both palms flat against Levi's chest. His alpha gazing into his eyes as he forced Eren's chin up and to the side   
"What? What's wrong?"  
"I was just thinking how much I want to mark you as mine again"  
That... that was going to far. His stomach rolled as he tried to breathe   
"Levi..."  
"I know you're not ready, but I want to. I love just you and I love that mark of ours"  
"I'm not pretty anymore. My body is all messed up. I don't slick. My breasts leak. My stomach is all soft..."  
"Still. I find you the most beautiful person I've ever laid eyes on. This body of yours, proves you carried our pup. These scars of yours, prove you fought your hardest. And this arse of yours..."  
Levi moved his hand down to grope at him  
"I'd still eat you out for hours"  
"How can you say these things like that...?"  
"Easily. You're my fiancée and mate"  
"I feel like I don't have a place here anymore"  
Levi shook his head, his silver eyes filled with emotion  
"Your place is by my side. Now we're awake, I have a surprise for you"  
"A surprise?"  
"Yeah. Why don't you get dressed, while I get changed?"  
"I don't need a surprise"  
"I think you do"  
Levi stole a kiss, before letting him off his lap. He didn't deserve this man who called him beautiful, even when he knew he looked like a sack of shit.

Levi made him wait in his room, Eren so nervous he didn't notice the lack of presents or Christmas tree. He didn't need anything. He'd acted so embarrassing the previous night that he cringed when he thought of Levi kicking everyone out the apartment. Knocking lightly on his door, Eren nearly had a panic attack as he screeched in fear  
"Whoa! What's wrong?"  
"No knocking"  
Levi lowered his hand, looking to it before nodding like he got it  
"Ok. I'll try to remember that. Anyway, I'm ready when you are"  
"Levi, is this like a people surprise? Or a loud surprise?"  
"No. You, me and Viren are the only people here. Titan's hiding in our room, he's absolutely terrified of Viren"  
With shaky legs, Eren crossed his room softly.

Stepping out his room, Eren's breath was taken away. When he'd fallen asleep, there wasn't a single trace of Christmas in the living room. Now... now the tree was standing there, the decorations stupidly organised into nice neat lines. Merry Christmas had been printed out and taped to the wall... on the coffee table was a small pile of presents, most he recognised as what he'd purchased for Levi and their pup  
"Lee, what is this?"  
"This is our first Christmas with our son. My first birthday as a father. Our first Christmas with you as my fiancée and mate. I wanted you to have a good Christmas, even if I'm a kind of shit alpha. I didn't get a chance to get you anything"  
Eren shook his head as he threw his arms around Levi. He hadn't expected this! He hadn't heard Levi doing any of this!  
"I don't need anything! This... this perfect!"  
"I still want to buy you a proper present"  
"I don't need it. Levi... but you hate Christmas"  
"I don't know. Ever since you came around, it's fast becoming my favourite holiday"  
"I want to make you breakfast"  
Levi laughed at the abrupt topic change   
"I'll make it"  
"No. The morning is your birthday! Everything else can wait"  
"Eren"  
"Please let me make you breakfast?"  
"Only if you let me make lunch and dinner"  
"And you have to pick the movie... did Hanji give us sweaters again?"  
Levi snorted. Eren didn't know why the fuck he was suddenly so happy, but he didn't want it end like he knew it would   
"Yeah. Would you believe that she found one small enough for Viren?"  
"Yes... Levi. Are you sure you like that name? I mean..."  
"I do. I've already changed his nappy, and he's already for mum cuddles"  
"Levi, I can't have him in the kitchen. It's not safe"  
"Fine. We'll just have to sit and watch you cook"  
"Titan needs his special treat for Christmas too. Titan, puss puss!"  
There was the telltale thud of the fat cat jumping off the bed and the thumping of his paws as he came running. Letting go of Levi, Eren scooped him up  
"Hello baby boy"  
"He missed you"  
"I missed him. I was scared Reiner hurt him"  
Kissing the fat cat, Titan tried to push him off with his front paws  
"I know. You want your food. Come with me, Mister"

Titan got an over serve of mince in his bowl, the fatty almost inhaling it as Eren started pouring the batter into the pan. Levi's birthday meant chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast. Carrying Viren out, the pup was grizzly  
"Sorry, mummy. I think he's a bit hungry"  
"Probably. Should I make him a bottle?"  
"You don't want to try feeding him?"  
"I'm making pancakes. There's oil and heat..."  
"It's alright. You're not going to be long. I'll swap with you when whatever's in the pan is done"  
Eren frowned. That wasn't how this was supposed to go  
"It's your birthday"  
"I don't mind"  
"I do. Is he warm enough? It feels cold in here"  
"He's warm, I got that onesie out, the elf one"  
Sitting at the dining table, Levi rocked Viren gently as the pup continued to grumble  
"I'll make your tea in a minute. Pancakes come first"  
Shooing Titan away with his foot, the cat took a run and jump, landing on the dining table. Remembering Levi said their fur baby was scared of the human baby, he flipped the pancake in the pan, before watching how it all played out. Sitting on the very edge of the table, Titan's tail was flicking back and forth, slowly he rose, taking two small steps forward before reaching a paw out towards Viren. Bopping the little boy on the head, Viren let out a louder cry. Titan falling of the table backwards in an uncoordinated heap, then wasting no time in shooting into the kitchen and climbing up straight up Eren's leg. All claws out as Eren cried out in pain, trying to get the tom's claws out his flesh  
"Titan!"  
Pulling the cat off his hip, Levi was was laughing his arse off over the whole ordeal as Titan tried to climb onto his shoulder  
"That's the second time he'd fallen and run"  
"He's terrified. My poor baby"  
Taking Titan's front right paw, he pressed a kiss to the back of it  
"I'm sorry. That's your baby brother. I know. Here, are you going to stay on my shoulder, while I make your dad's breakfast? It's ok"  
Titan climbed onto his shoulder, the fat cat way too wide to sit there comfortably, over balancing, he leapt down onto the kitchen counter. Scratching between Titan's ears, he slowly started headbutting for more pats  
"I'll protect you. Stop laughing, Levi. He's terrified"  
"I'm sorry. But he literally tried to climb you like a tree"  
"I know. He'd scratched up my side and leg... I'll have to clean up once your breakfast is ready"  
"You're not eating?"  
"Not until after Viren's been fed... I'm not really hungry"  
"You need to keep eating. You barely ate in hospital"  
"I was too self conscious..."  
He still was. As happy as he was to see his toes again, he wanted to hurry up and shed the extra pudge as soon as possible  
"But home is still better, right?"  
"Yeah. Don't worry, I'll eat"  
Probably only one or two pancakes. His stomach was already trying to rebel at the thought of food. He knew he'd have to talk to Levi about it, but Levi deserved a good birthday. And a day where he didn't have to worry about the fucked up omega living in his apartment. Today would be perfect, for Levi's sake... and maybe... maybe he could fool himself into feeling normal enough to enjoy it. Everything Levi has said earlier was right. It was their first Christmas as mates and parents. Viren deserved it being perfect, just as much as Levi did...

 

When breakfast was done, Levi helped him give their pup a bath. The tiny boy seemed to love the bubbles and water, waving his arms and kicking his legs as he slowly fell asleep as Eren carefully washed him. It was still weird to think that the boy had really been inside of him. Levi was full of love and praise, the happiness and contentness in his scent nearly too much for Eren to bare. Part of him was jealous, while the even bigger part of him loathed himself for not being able to feel like his fiancée did. He didn't want to be a prisoner to his own mind. He'd been through that for years. Before Viren had been born, he'd been so happy and he wished he knew how to bring that back. It was like he truly couldn't remember who'd he been before the birth of the pup. He didn't hate Viren and he didn't blame him for his current mental state. There was only so much therapy could do, and the rest fell to his own mental weakness. Making sure the little pup was washed and dried, Levi found another onesie, taking what seemed to be another hundred photos of the boy in his other outfit. Levi had insisted on taking photos of him dressed as an elf, even though Eren really didn't want to, given how self conscious he felt over breast feeding. Still. Everything that was happening would one day fade to be just a memory, leaving photos as the only proof anything actually happened.

After bathtime came present time. Levi's birthday presents coming first. Rather than buying one big gift for Levi, he'd gotten a few smaller, more practical ones. New frames for the photos of Levi, Farlan and Isabel to be hung in the living room. Along with a couple of photos of the pair of them during his pregnancy. The happiness in his eyes now seemed like a ghost haunting him as Levi stared down at the prints. Sensing it was all getting to be a little much, Levi swapped to opening the gifts for Viren. He'd brought his son more blankets and soft toys... even finding a stuffed catfish that made Levi laugh a little too hard as he swore that it was going to live in their pup's cot. When Viren's presents were unwrapped, Levi got a photo of the whole collection, his three Christmas presents sitting still wrapped for later. Not wanting to wake their pup, taking photos of Viren with everything would have to wait for later, and Eren was perfectly ok with that. Curling into Levi's side, he buried his face against the alpha's chest. Levi choosing some random Christmas themed movie to put on. Both silently ruling anything horror out for the time being. 

The day was nice in its own way. He fell asleep against Levi, waking to find Levi had shifted them while he slept, he was now in his fiancées lap, while Levi snored softly. His head lolled back against the sofa back in a way that couldn't be comfortable. Taking a few moments to himself, he studied Levi's sleeping face. He'd nearly lost him. The one person who understood him most in the world. And the one person who actually gave a fuck about his health and safety. Kissing just behind Levi's ear, he quietly promised he'd get better. It wasn't long after that Levi woke as Viren started crying. Titan, who'd crept over to the Christmas tree, to strike against his archenemy "the low hanging bauble", bolted with the first cry. Cracking his eyes open, Levi smiled softly. Being a father really suited him. There wasn't a trace of the angry, constipated alpha he'd first met at all  
"I guess someone's hungry"  
"Yeah. I didn't want to move and wake you"  
"So you watched me sleep?"  
"I was thinking how being a father suits you"  
"I never thought it'd happen"  
"And... you're happy right?"  
Levi reached up and flicked him in the centre of the forehead  
"I have you and I have our son. I'm so fucking happy that I'm surprised hell hasn't frozen over and the universe hasn't exploded"  
"Will you help me get better again?"  
"That's all I want. You. Safe and happy, and enjoying what we have"  
"Can you make me an appointment with Krista?"  
"I'm making us both appointments once the holidays end. We both have a lot to work out"  
"I don't know if I can work out my problems"  
"I do. Because I know how strong you are, baby"  
Eren flinched at the word "baby"  
"Eren? What is it?"  
"You won't get mad?"  
"I won't get mad"  
"I... when you call me "baby", I don't like it. The alpha's used to catcall and call me baby. It makes me feel like I'm not your brat"  
"I'm sorry. I didn't even... when you were giving birth, I guess I must have started saying it. I was trying to keep you conscious. I didn't mean to upset you. You'll always be my brat"  
"I didn't mean to make you feel bad"  
"You didn't. I like it when you tell me the things you like, want and need. It makes me feel like... like a shitty loved up idiot"  
"A loved up idiot?"  
"Yep. Come on, Viren's probably ready for his next feed"  
Patting his hip to encourage him off his lap, Eren shook his head  
"You rest. I'll get him"  
"I'm not so old as to be becoming one with the sofa"  
"Sure you are. You're my old man"  
"And you're my shitty brat"  
Eren stared into Levi's eyes, wishing he could kiss his alpha like he wanted. After a moment and half passed, Levi was the one to kiss him. The kiss soft and small, over in a heartbeat   
"I do love you, Levi"  
"You just need a little help at the moment. I know. Now go get our pup. Maybe we can get Titan to talk to him?"  
"That'd be a Christmas miracle"  
"Well, 'tis the season"  
Never did he think he'd hear Levi say "'tis the season", but none the less, a genuine giggle bubbled up from nowhere. 

Maybe that was his Christmas miracle? Being able to find his laughter again.


	60. Chapter 60

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo here it is. A happy ending. For those of you who want a more realistic ending, I'm doing a small part 2

Levi felt like a single parent with three kids. It was hard to admit it, but as hard as Eren was working to get better, his omega was still struggling. Some days Eren would barely talk to him, or look at him. Some days he'd start the morning with the sound of Eren's screams in his ears and some days Eren couldn't even get out of bed, having stressed himself to the point of being physically ill, locking himself in his room with Viren. His mate had come leaps and bounds with Viren. The tiny pup was now three months old, and a bundle of happiness... most of the time... lately, at least. As the seasons had changed, he'd grown much more vocal about every tiny displeasure. Levi was sure neither of them had slept for the last week of January through to the middle of February. Their exhaustion making for some pretty impressive yelling matches, followed by apologies until all they needed to do was look at each other to know they both deeply regretted it. Eren was now comfortable enough to feed their son, without the tears, but things between him and his mate felt... distant. They'd cuddle when they went to sleep, Eren usually passing out the moment his head hit the pillow, but come morning, Eren would be up and working hard on his course work, or his mate was curled into the corner of the sofa with Viren in his hold. Titan still wasn't sure about the tiny boy, he didn't seem to mind him if he wasn't crying. Each time the pup would cry, the fat tom would run to whoever wasn't holding the pup for safe cuddles. Having just become a new mum, the omega had reached out to Shinganshima TAFE and asked to turn the three month course into a six month course. In Levi's opinion, Eren could have handled the work... but it wasn't his call to make. Eren had to do what felt right for him... even if it meant his mate was more interested in books than talking with him. It wasn't just the lack of talking weighing him down. His omega wouldn't let him see him naked. The third time he'd walked in on Eren showering and sent him into a shaking ball of fear, Levi had just given up. He didn't want to jump Eren's bone... Ok. He did. He missed the sex they'd had while Eren was pregnant. How insatiable his mate had been for his body... but he missed his cuddles even more. He missed waking to Eren's hair tickling his nose irritatingly. He missed the small kisses and secret whispers they shared at night. He just... he missed Eren being his mate, rather than this thing between them that he didn't have the words for. He knew Eren could feel his irritation through their bond, and he knew it weighed heavily on the omegas mind, but he was too chicken shit to call him out on it. He was too scared that one wrong word could lead to Eren giving up on himself and ruining his chances of recovery.

When he thought things through, Levi also knew he was to blame. His nightmares had been almost out control at the start of the new year. Every time he woke to find Eren wasn't in bed, or if the omega was taking too long in the bathroom for his alpha's liking, he'd grow unfairly angry. Talking to Krista may have helped a small fraction, but he was struggling to let Eren out of his sights. He felt like a stalker in his own home... and like one of those pathetically jealous, obsessive and controlling alphas that he loathed so much. He didn't check Eren's calls or emails. He didn't go through Eren's mail or demand all he passwords. He didn't invade into Eren's space like that... but he fucking wanted to, and that was bad enough.

 

*  
Climbing out of bed, Levi rubbed his face. Once again, Eren wasn't in there room and his heart was going crazy over it. Padding softly out the bedroom, his joints complained at the movement, on the colder mornings his left hand felt like it'd seized in place, and his thigh would throb as if the bullet was still in there. It was strange to think the only bullet wound that didn't still give him grief was the one that could cost him the most. The last of his leave was coming up, and at this stage, Levi didn't even know if he was fit to go back into the field  
"Morning, Brat"  
Levi's tone was gruffer than expected, Eren's wide green eyes looked almost fearful before he slowly smiled  
"Hey. How'd you sleep?"  
Like shit...  
"Alright. How's our pup this morning?"  
Eren looked down to the bundle in his arms  
"He's a sleep. I didn't want to move incase I woke him"  
"How long have you been up?"  
"Umm... about three hours. The baby monitor woke me, and you looked so peaceful sleeping"  
"You could have woken me!"  
Fuck. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he really hadn't meant to snap  
"I'm sorry. I'm going to take a shower, then I'll make us breakfast"  
"I made a quiche for breakfast, it's on the counter under the foil"  
"Right. Ok"  
So Eren would have already eaten breakfast... there went that chance to talk...  
"Don't forget Hanji is dropping Anna off today"  
That was news to him. The longest they'd been out the house since Viren's birth was for the little girl's birthday party. They'd both had their own follow up appointments, as well as Viren's own appointments. Their son officially registered as Viren Farlan Ackerman, and Levi couldn't be prouder. Eren really hadn't been doing great mentally, but didn't want to miss Anna's birthday party. Levi had no idea when he'd ordered the girl's present, only that he'd found himself on the tag and in the card  
"What do you mean Hanji is dropping Anna off today?"  
"We talked about this"  
"No. I think I'd remember something like that"  
"Hanji has a 30 hour shift"  
"Then Hanji should have sorted something else out. You can barely function as it is, let alone chase after a pup and a 15 month old"  
Eren's wide eyes opened further, fat tears rushed down his face   
"Eren. I'm sorry. It's just..."  
"It's just what Levi!?"  
Whisper yelling, Eren rose from the sofa  
"You're barely coping at it is. We don't talk anymore. You won't spend a full night in our bed and you don't even let me hold you. Then, you spend days locked up in your room all day. What am I supposed to do? Is it just tough luck when I need someone to talk to?"  
"It's not like that"  
"Then for god's sake, tell me what it is like. Because from over here, you feel more like a roommate than a fiancée"  
"I'm not fighting in front of Viren"  
Carrying their son off to the nursery, Eren didn't return. Shaking his head at himself, he'd really fucked that one up.

Standing in the nursery, Eren was gripping the side of the cot, staring down at Viren as Levi approached. His alpha firmly scolding him for being an arse to their mate. He needed to talk this through and find a way to make Eren understand he angered because he'd well and truly passed the stage where worry only applied  
"Eren"  
"I... thought it would get better"  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
"I don't... I thought if I just kept doing what I had to, things would work out... but my body's ruined"  
Eren's whole body was trembling   
"Eren"  
"No. Those days I'm in bed... sick... I feel like I'm going into heat. It's not just the depression or the nightmares. I think they start it... It lasts a few hours, the cramping but... I don't slick anymore. I don't even feel the need to be mounted. It's just the cramping and fever from heat, my scent doesn't even change... it's like like... like before it was ok to have my heat. I know you're not on suppressants at the moment. So I try to stay away. You always look so tired, so I don't want to risk sending you into a rut. And I know I'm ruined... if I'm going to be a useless omega, I might as well be the one with no sleep"  
Eren sank to his knees, his soft crying filling the nursery  
"Why didn't you tell me?"  
"Because I'm already so much work. I can feel it. I know every day I'm disappointing you by not being better... it's all I can do so you won't throw me out"  
He told Eren every single day he loved him. He'd tell him every single night they climbed into bed. Every time he'd draw his omega into a cuddle on the sofa, and every other time it just slipped out   
"You..."  
"I'm too much work. I can't help you through your nightmares. Do you know how many times I've woken to you crying my name or Reiner's? I did this to you. I made you kill someone. And you're still suffering because of it. I want my Levi back. The one who wasn't hurt by me, and isn't scarred because of me... and I want to be... I don't know who I even was anymore. All I have is these thoughts that never stop"  
With his emotions out of whack and his omega not able to calm, they'd talked about Eren going onto medication, but his omega didn't want to do anything that might affect his breast milk or anything that might jeopardise the bond he was trying to build with their son  
"Eren, you know I don't blame you"  
"I blame me... I'm the one to blame. If... I'd just stayed at the compound, you never would have been hurt"  
"No. You'd be bred, and our son probably sold off to the first buyer, while I sat here and drowned myself with scotch. When are you going to realise that I'm fine?"  
"But you're not! I wrecked your body. I know your hand still hurts. I've seen your scars... I'm so fucking scared of waking up to find you're dead b-because of that bullet"  
"Is that why you get up so early? In case I do die?"  
"I don't want you to die... Levi... I don't want you to die"

Gathering Eren up, Levi carried his mate out through the living room and back to their bed, laying Eren down before straddling his hips. Taking Eren's face into his hands, he forced a hard kiss to his brat's lips  
"I'm not going to die. I would never die and leave you behind. Why couldn't you tell me this? I've been thinking you wanted to break our bond, or you didn't... that you didn't want to be here anymore"  
"I'm just trying to keep going, but I can't seem to find the path that leads back to you"  
His omegas eyes were filled with hopelessness. Like he couldn't feel anything through their bond. Not his love or worry  
"Eren, do you trust me?"  
"I do, but..."  
"Do you trust me? That I won't hurt you"  
"I know you'd never intentionally hurt me"  
"Then let me show you what our bond means to me"  
"H-how?"  
"I want to take you and remark you. I want to show you how it feels to be connected again"  
"I don't think I can..."  
"We'll go slow. I know you're scared, but I also know you know it feels when I'm knotted inside you. The safety and security"  
"Just the thought of sex makes me feel sick..."  
"Because you're scared. You can't fall pregnant. Not until your first true heat hits in another 3 months. Omegas are designed so they can rest between pregnancies"  
"Will... Levi, will it really help?"  
He sure as hell hoped so  
"I think it will. But don't worry. I'll take it slow and use a condom"  
"Can... you mark me before you knot? I... I think I need a little help"  
"I can. You mean the world to me, brat. And if it's get too much, tell me to stop"  
"I'm so frustrated... right now, I think I'd do anything to fix feeling this"  
"Forcing yourself to go all the way isn't going to help"  
"Be gentle... and don't touch my stomach"  
"Why not?"  
"I can't stand it"  
"I think it's sexy"  
"I'm not ashamed to have been pregnant... I'm ashamed of everything that happened after"  
"I don't know. We have a beautiful baby boy"  
"Levi..."  
"It's ok... trust me"

Levi may have been, ever so slightly, fucking horny for his mate for weeks, but he needed to do this right. Stripping his shirt off, he took Eren's left hand, holding it over the bullets scar. His fiancées breath hitching as his fingers shook  
"It's just a scar. It's proof that I'm still alive... that I survived"  
With Eren's right hand, he lifted it to his chest, placing it over his heart  
"See. I'm ok"  
Keeping his hands over Eren's, Levi moved to claim Eren's mouth. The omega hesitating before slowly relaxing into the kiss, and allowing him to deepen in. Releasing Eren's hands, his omega moved to hold him by the chest, pulling him down against him as Levi moaned into his mouth. It was the most intimate they'd been in months, and with their spilling pheromones, they were both likely to lose their senses soon. Ending the kiss, Levi's lips rested against Eren's for a fraction of a second, both of them nuzzling at each other before Eren kissed him softly. Continuing the kiss, Levi's hands moved to the waist band of his sweats, thumbing them and his underwear down smoothly, his half hard dick twitching as he rose enough to push his pants down, nearly falling off Eren in the process when his right leg got caught. Letting out the smallest giggle, Levi pulled back to stare down at his mate   
"You're so fucking perfect"  
Eren bit his lip, looking to his side of the bed  
"Hey, it's ok. Trust me, remember?"  
"Ok..."

Skipping touching Eren's chest and stomach, Levi slid down the omegas pyjama bottoms and underwear. His mate's hip bones jutted almost alarmingly, while Eren tried to hide himself by pulling his shirt down. Ignoring him, Levi sucked a deep dark hickey on Eren's left hip bone, before doing the same to the right. Kissing a trail of kisses along Eren's stomach just above his public hair, he trailed the kisses down to his fiancée's semi hard erection. Kissing the tip, Eren let out something between a groan and a laughing sigh  
"Patience, you"  
Normally his mate would be soaking wet slick, but only the barest traces could be smelt. Maybe there was something actually wrong with Eren's body, though it was more likely Eren's fear of his own body stopping his natural bodily processes. Determined to change that, Levi moved his hand off Eren's left thigh to take tip of his boyfriend's dick in his mouth, while slowly beginning to jerk him off. Beneath him, Eren let out a breathy moan as his hips lifted off the bed. His moans so silky and smooth as Levi started to bob his head.

As Eren hadn't slicked more than a teaspoon, Levi grabbed the condoms and lube from the bedside table   
"Lay on you side for me, it'll be gentler on you"  
Rolling sideways Eren let Levi push his right leg up. His mate scarred from birthing their child, though it wasn't off putting. It was kind of... sexy... If Eren wasn't so scared of sex again, he would have spent his time opening his mate with his mouth and tongue, rather than his fingers  
"I'm going to start now, ok?"  
"Mhmm"  
Snorting lightly, Levi squeezed a generous amount of lube on his finger, careful as he traced the ring of Eren's opening with his finger tips  
"Shhh... just breathe"  
Sliding his first finger in slowly, Eren shuddered with a groan, his mate much slicker inside than out. Working his finger slowly, he waited until Eren's breathing evened back out before inserting a second  
"Lee?"  
"I'm here"  
"Ok..."  
Finding Eren's sweet spot by accident, his omega gasped, his tone scared as his scent shifted  
"Levi! Levi..."  
"Shhh. It's alright. It's alright to feel good"  
Milking Eren's sweet spot, his mate whimpered, trying to push back against him while a hand disappeared between his legs. Good... this was all for Eren's sake... mostly... cough. Working in a third finger, his mate clenched and fluttered about him, Levi needing to pour more lube onto his fingers or risk hurting his mate. 

Working Eren fully open, Levi wiped his fingers off, before unrolling the condom and sliding it on. Eren was a mewing mess, his moans muffled by Levi's pillow, climbing up to position himself, he nuzzled and kissed Eren's shoulder   
"I'm going to mark you now, alright?"  
"Mmm..."  
Wiggling his arse back, Levi struggled to keep his alpha down. How could anyone deny the beauty of the sight in front of him. His stubborn and distant mate was finally letting him in. Lifting Eren's right leg, he nudged at Eren's opening as his teeth sank into the omega's nape. Eren let out a strangled cry as pushed back hard, his thigh twitching in Levi's hold as he came across the sheets, forcefully mounting Levi as warmth filled both of them. Fuck. The man swore his eyes rolled back. Eren's blood filling his mouth as his omega rocked against him  
"Levi..."  
Keeping his teeth in Eren's nape, Levi couldn't stop himself. Dizzy on the sensations from reconfirming their bond. The sound of wet skin slapping, and squelching lube. Dissolving into grunt and snarls, he chased his orgasm, weeks of abstinence leaving him coming all too soon. With a long and final groan, his knot popped, Eren shuddering again as he came. Lowering his mate's leg, Levi pulled his teeth free, lapping at the fresh bite   
"Brat, are you ok?"  
Eren nodded, sniffling as he did  
"Hold me?"  
Reaching for his hand, Eren interlaced their fingers   
"Did you feel it?"  
"Yes..."  
Trying to find a blanket to cover them up with, Eren whimpered as he moved   
"What's wrong?"  
"Don't move... it hurts"  
It shouldn't hurt. He prepped Eren open until he was fucking him with four fingers... maybe his mate would let him take a look. Eren's doctor had said he'd healed... maybe there was some kind of nerve damage?  
"I'm sorry. I was trying to grab a blanket"  
"Just don't move..."

"Levi?! Eren?!"  
He'd just been told not to move, and despite being knotted dick deep in his mate, Levi went to scramble out the bed. Their bedroom door was suspiciously closed, and Hanji was a fucking snoop. Eren crying out as his knot pulled   
"Shit... sorry, sorry, shhh. I'm sorry"  
How the fuck did he forget Hanji was coming?!? Shit. His knot definitely wasn't going to be going down any time soon. Despite the interruption, he was still flooding his mate with his seed  
"Levi... it hurts"  
"I know. I'm sorry. I forgot she was coming"  
"Can't you pull out?"  
"We both know knotting doesn't work like that..."  
Turning his face into his pillow, Eren whined softly   
"You're ok... you're ok... come here"  
Pulling Eren flush to him, he found a pillow to give them some sliver of privacy  
"Levi? Eren?! Everything ok?"  
"Yeah! Give us a minute!"  
"Viren's crying, I'll check on him!"  
"Thank you!"  
Rubbing Eren's stomach, he forgot about the no touching rule as he attempted to soothe Eren. Couldn't Hanji have waited another half an hour?!  
"Is it still hurting?"  
"Yes..."  
"Ok. I've got you... did you feel our bond? That happiness?"  
"Yeah... it's the happiest I've felt in weeks"  
"I love you"  
"I felt it. I love you... but... I didn't slick"  
"Before you say it, you're not broken. And even if you weren't leaking slick, I could feel it inside of you"  
"So I did slick?"  
"A little..."  
"I didn't feel it"  
"Give yourself time to heal"  
"Says the guy with his dick up my arse"  
"I wanted you to feel my love"  
"I felt it, then it hurt"  
"I'll take a look once my knot goes down"  
"It'll have to wait. We have two kids to look after"  
"No. Your health comes first"  
"We have two kids relying on us"  
"Eren, it's ok... Hanji is out there looking after them. When I'm with you, I'm with you... so let me take care of you"  
"What if this means something's wrong? The pain and the heats that aren't heats? What if giving birth broke me... and it can't be fixed"  
"Do you want me to book you a doctor's appointment?"  
"I don't want to be touched. I'm sick of people touching me"  
"Including me?"  
"No... I couldn't to begin with... but it feels better now"  
"Good. Because I love touching you"  
"I kind of noticed. I don't think you've come the hard in a while"  
"Nope. There's like 3 months worth there"  
"You didn't touch yourself at all?"  
"No. I didn't want to make you uncomfortable"  
"You didn't have to do that"  
"I know. You're my mate, all I want is you to be happy"  
"I know you have urges, it's ok to take care of them"  
"I'll remember that"  
"Good... you've given up enough to be with me"  
"I haven't given up anything. You're my life and you're the one who's given me so much"  
"You sound like a card"  
"Don't think I don't remember that we didn't celebrate Valentine's Day"  
"We don't have to. I don't want to do anything for my birthday either"  
"Too bad. I've got something planned already"  
"You do?"  
"I do. And I know you're going to love it"  
"Then I should apologise now, incase I'm not ok or I loose it at you"  
"I'll be very surprised if you do"  
"You've met me, right?"  
"I would hope so? We have a son and all"  
"This is true"  
Kissing Eren's shoulder he squeezed him tight   
"I think my knots starting to deflate, we shouldn't be stuck like this much longer"  
"Mmm. Ok"

Eren was bleeding a little, small tearing along side his scars. He was going to have to make that appointment after all. Cleaning Eren down, he left his mate in their room so he could go deal with Hanji. Hanji poking her tongue out as he came stumbling out their bed room  
"Oooooh. Someone got laid"  
"That's none of our business"  
"I didn't think Eren would be up for sex"  
"It wasn't just sex. Our bonds been shaky so I was remarking him"  
"I heard him crying. You were gentle right?"  
"Right up until you came breaking in and scared him"  
"I did message ahead. Anna's nappy bag is down near the sofa, she's a little cranky this morning, but cartoons help"  
The little girl was already laying on the sofa with her eyes glued to the TV  
"It's fine. Now give me my son"  
Hanji nodded, passing Viren to him  
"I think he's hungry, I was going to make a bottle, but I have no idea where you keep your formula"  
"We haven't been using formula. Anyway, go to work. Is Erwin picking her up later?"  
"No. He's working tonight, he's going to swing by after work"  
So Anna was staying the night... she'd have to sleep in Eren's room... great. Eren would want to be there for her, and that would mean another night without Eren... Hanji was lucky Eren wanted Anna here, or she'd be finding herself an actual babysitter, instead of stressing his omega. As he took Viren into his hold, he said a prayer that Anna wouldn't upset Eren, and that Eren wouldn't have a panic attack if she did.

 

*  
Eren was having a shaky start to his birthday. He was anxious as fuck over what Levi had planned, especially when his alpha wasn't giving him any clues. Levi had had him express the day before, because apparently they were going to be gone for hours. He'd even slept walk the previous night, confused and dazed when Levi pulled him out the bathtub, not remembering how he got there at all. It was terrifying to be doing things he couldn't remember, like how he'd lashed out and broken the bathroom mirror, not knowing what he'd done until he was standing there with a bloodied fist. His omega had calmed a little after Levi had remarked him, and while the sex had been nice, the pain hadn't. His doctor said he wasn't able to find anything wrong with him, his thinking seemed to be that it was all in his head. Levi had asked for an ultrasound, but all that showed was scarring from birth. Proving he was right. He was broken.

Dressed in jeans that were a little tight, and possibly Levi's instead of his own, he wore a simple black T-shirt. Levi wouldn't tell him where they were going, only that he'd love it. Admitting he was intending to bring Viren with them, but the pup had cried almost the whole day before, and no matter he tried, the baby boy wouldn't settle. It was stupidly relieving when he wouldn't settle for Levi either, though it hurt to hear how distressed he was. Erwin was babysitting for them while they were out, and Hanji was going to join him after work and collecting Anna from day care... It seemed to Eren that the little girl spent more time with them than anyone else in her life. The one off babysitting during Hanji's long arse shift had turned into them babysitting for every long arse shift where Hanji finished outside of daycare hours. He loved Anna, but she was so fussy. Titan would play with her, tears. The wrong bottle, tears. The wrong toy, tears. It was exhausting, but after Hanji and Moblit had taken him in, it was the least he could do to repay some small measure of that kindness. Sitting in the passenger seat, Eren was staring at the outside world, completely lost. Levi had initially wanted to trade his car in, disgusted that Reiner had driven it. But those feelings had passed and the car had a lot of good memories. Like the first time they had sex, and when Levi had brought him home from Karanes. Even if he couldn't drive, he felt like Levi's car was part of his identity, thus the safety he felt with Levi extended to the car. It was like his other safe place. After what seemed like an hour long drive, Levi pulled up in front of what he assumed was a hotel. The building was massive, its white walls seemed to extend all the way up to the clouds  
"We're here"  
"You know I have no idea where "here" is, right?"  
"If you did, it wouldn't be a surprise. Let me grab the bag from the back"  
"Wait? You packed a bag? What's going on?"  
His anxieties decided now would be a nice time to whisper that Levi was getting rid of him.

Climbing from the car, he could barely breathe as Levi took his time grabbing his small suitcase out the back, then joining him  
"Eren, it's ok. This is part of the surprise"  
"Sorry... I'm just..."  
"On edge. I know. I wanted to do something flashier, but I didn't want you feeling too overwhelmed"  
"Flashier?"  
"Yep. Are you ready?"  
"I don't know? Am I?"  
"I think you are"  
Taking his hand, Levi lead him along the footpath and to the shiny glass doors of the building, there wasn't a single smudge in sight, and stepping through them, they were greeted by a massive open space. Rows of neat doors disappeared upwards, three glass elevators the only access by the seems of it. Hanging from the ceiling, what seemed to be glass stars sparkled above the reception desk. Eren reasoned with himself that there was no way it could be glass. Not when the space between the floor and the roof had to be at least 50 metres tall. He'd never been in a space so big and clean. Lead over to the reception, he was too in awe to hear what Levi was talking to receptionist about. The whole building screamed high class, something he definitely wasn't. Before he knew what was happening, Levi was towing him over to the glass elevators  
"Your eyes are as wide as dinner plates"  
"This place is amazing... I've never seen anything like it"  
"That was the plan. Do you want to watch as we go up?"  
Clutching his alpha, his knees weakened as the elevator began to move upwards with Levi's selection, everyone shrinking beneath him, and he was sure he left his stomach on the first floor  
"Holy shit"  
"It's pretty impressive"  
"It's amazing"  
Watching as they passed the stars, he loosened his hold on Levi a little  
"Are those glass?"  
"I would say so"  
"No way. How can people work under them. What if they fell?"  
"Then they'd be fucked and we'd get the call"  
Eren scrunched up his nose at the thought. He couldn't do it. The constant fear of having the stars fall. Nope. 10 out of 10 he'd never take a job here. Not that he could get one, even ask stripper. Some alpha's had kink for pregnant dancers, but no one ever talked about what happened after the birth.

Arriving on some ungodly high floor, Levi lead him along the neat row of doors until he found the one he was searching for. Inserting the key into the lock, the door opened silently. Eren standing there and watching as Levi stepped in  
"You coming?"  
"You got a room?"  
"Yep"  
They were in Shinganshima. They had a perfectly good apartment. He was confused as fuck as to why they were here... and honestly, he was missing his pup. He feared spending so much time away, would undo any of the love they had between them. Following Levi into the room, he let out a gasp. It was on a whole other level  
"Do you like it?"  
"It's amazing!"  
The bed was absolutely massive. He'd never seen a bed that big in his life. Everything about the place screamed money, yet all the high end furnishings were practical. Taking his hand, Levi used his foot to close the door behind him, before leading him over to the massive bed. Sitting down, Levi pulled him into his lap  
"Surprise"  
"Why did you do all this? This is just... it must have cost a fortune"  
Laughing softly, Levi took his other hand in his  
"Last year, we didn't have a chance to celebrate your birthday. We didn't have a chance to celebrate Valentine's Day, and you were the only one prepared for Christmas. It doesn't make up for any of that, but today is your birthday and I want it to be as special as you are"  
"Then shouldn't we be at a budget motel?"  
"Do you really think I'd let you stay in a filthy place like that?"  
"No. Knowing you, you'd bring your own sheets"  
"Damn right I would. We have a little time before we need to head down"  
"Head down?"  
"Yep. This place has a day spa, and I know a certain omega that deserves the shit pampered out of him"  
"Levi"  
Letting go of his right hand, Levi tucked Eren's fringe back behind his ear  
"I might not understand all the beauty products and cream stuff, but I know it's important to you. And I'll be there with you"  
"You. At a day spa?"  
"Yes, me at a day spa"  
Eren really couldn't even imagine Levi getting a manicure or pedicure. He'd probably grimace at every little thing. Mental images from the movies, left giggling slightly. The women always wore robes and had their hair wrapped up in a towel. Just the thought of Levi dressed like that was a scowl on his face, was too much   
"Are you laughing at me?"  
"Maybe"  
Leaning up to kiss him, Eren was still in shock over everything. This place was like a freakin palace!  
"So, we have a few hours. Do you want to take a bath, or have a shower? Or sleep?"  
"Did you seriously get a room so we could sleep?"  
"Yep. I know you're worried about Viren, and I am too. But when was the last time you got more than three hours sleep at a time?"  
"I can't remember"  
"Exactly. I think we both deserve some time to recharge"  
Eren nodded slowly   
"Don't worry. I would be lying if I didn't say I didn't want to have sex with you, but that wasn't the reason I chose getting a room for the night"  
"It's not like I never want to have sex with you again. It just hurts"  
"I know. I'm happy to bottom, and I'm happy to wait"  
What was he supposed to say to that?! How had he snagged the most perfect alpha in existence? His happiness fell again when he realised that Levi would be seeing him naked...  
"What's wrong?"  
"My body... isn't pretty"  
"We've talked about this. You are more than your body"  
"But. You're so handsome, I want to look good for you"  
"You know, I think you're sexy. Even when Viren has vomited in you hair and you haven't slept in days. You're still the most sexiest person I've ever met"  
"I think we need to get your eyes checked"  
Levi huffed playfully  
"My eyesight is perfectly fine"  
"I don't know I'm ready"  
"Eren, we are the only two people here. I'm the only one who's going to see"  
"It's because it's you"  
"In that case..."  
Lifting him by his arse, Eren clung to his alpha as Levi strode through the room and to the open bathroom. Sitting him on the counter, he was shirtless before he realised what was happening. Burying his face between his breasts, Levi mouthed the spot as his alpha unclipped his bra, letting it slip forward as his mate firmly groped his breasts. Shit. The only one who'd been touching his breasts was Viren for his feed. Still sensitive, Eren mewed as Levi massaged them, moving to suck lightly on his right nipple into a peak, then doing the same to his left. Feeling his alpha growing hard, his head lolled back as Levi rolled his hips  
"Levi..."  
Kissing his way down, his alpha began mouthing at his stomach, his hands continuing to torture him with pleasure, his feelings mixing into something he couldn't describe as his milk spilt. Contenting himself with Eren's stomach, it wasn't until his milk was running down Levi's wrists that his mate moved back to his nipples, drinking deeply from each of them. The throbbing between his legs growing painful, his dick trapped as Levi continued grinding against him  
"Levi... I'm gonna come..."  
Nuzzling, Levi massaged his breasts harder, his teeth lightly biting on Eren's nipple...  
"Levi..."  
Keeping his teeth around his nipple, Levi nodded  
"Come for me"  
Thrusting up, Eren came with a cry. Levi biting down as he grunted. Rocking his hips to meet his alpha's, Eren rode out his orgasm, his underwear soaked as Levi pulled off from his nipple, burying his face against Eren's neck as they both panted   
"Shit..."  
It took Eren a moment to realise   
"Did you just come?"  
Nodding, Levi kissed his collar bone  
"You're so fucking hot"  
Starting to suck a hickey on his collar bone, Eren took Levi's head in his hands pull him back  
"What are you doing?"  
"Marking you as mine"  
"I've your mark, what I need is a bath"  
Levi nodded, standing up on tiptoe to kiss Eren's forehead   
"One bath coming up"

Still not comfortable about his stomach, Eren played big spoon in the bath as Levi insisted on bathing with him. It was nice to be the one holding his alpha, their legs tangled together as Levi's head rested against his chest, giving him the perfect position to play with Levi's greying hair. He'd never expected a birthday surprised like this, but knowing they were safely locked in, helped ease the pressure in chest. Levi had been right. It'd been so long since they'd been able to do what they liked, or taken the time to recharge. The way he was looking at it now was that Viren wouldn't have such an insufferable and sleep deprived, cranky cow of a mother. He still felt guilty over needing time to heal away from his son, but Levi was fast easing that too.

From the bath they changed, then headed down to the day spa. Eren happy to find that it was run by omegas, and that he wouldn't have to let another strange alpha touch him... even if he was jealous as all hell when an omega started massaging Levi during their couple massage. His mate holding his hand the whole time, even when his arm went numb. Unfortunately Levi wasn't forced to wear his hair up, and refused to have a facial done, so that particular daydream was forced to stay locked in his mind. His mate did have a mani and pedi done, scowling the whole way through, as he'd thought he would. By the end of their visit, Eren couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so relaxed or good. His aching hips and shoulders no longer throbbing, while his skin actually felt human. The lingering scents of cucumber and green tea secretly thrilling him, given his beauty regime had gone to shit and no one had warned him that after giving birth, pimple were a common thing. Despite having faced the horrors of a day spa, Levi was smiling as he lead him through the casino area. He'd thought it was just a hotel... and his alpha promised to bring him back down later so they could play the machines. The place stunk of alphas, despite the clear muting of tones provided by scent cancellers. His nose was just too tender from his limited exposure to strangers over the last few months. But, having a firm hold on Levi's arm, and having his alpha walk slightly in front of him, helped to make him feel protected. He didn't doubt for a second that Levi would go any alpha that so much as glanced in direction. Reaching the food court area, they chose a place at random with time proven scientific method of "eeny meeny". Resulting in lunch being some of the most delicious seafood and wine he'd ever had. The alcohol going straight to his head, leaving him a babbling was about how nice everything was. Because it really was.

Returning to their room after lunch, both of them were full and sleepy. Stripping down to just their shirts and underwear, the pair of them climbed into the mammoth bed, Eren once again happy to play big spoon to Levi, before they both passed out for the next four hours. Eren waking slightly before Levi did, and found his alpha purring in his sleep. This day may have been for him, but Levi had needed all of this as much as he did. Nuzzling his fiancées nape, he breathed in Levi's scent with a happy sigh. It was hard to believe he could actually feel so happy after having such a shitty start to his morning  
"Mmm. I can feel that, brat"  
Rolling in his hold, Levi pulled him up so he was laying chest to chest with the man. Rubbing his back, his alpha yawned at him  
"Have a good nap?"  
"Mhmm. Thank you. I didn't know I needed all of this"  
With his other hand, Levi cupped his right cheek  
"You're very welcome. What time do you think it is?"  
"I don't know"  
"I made dinner reservations at the rooftop restaurant for 6:30"  
Eren groaned, letting his head fall forward   
"You've got to stop doing things like that"  
"I don't know about that. The view is supposed to be amazing"  
Eren went to reply, only for the sound of Levi's alarm to interrupt   
"What's that?"  
"My 5:45 reminder"  
"When'd it get so late?"  
"That's what happens when you relax. Time slips away. We should get up and get ready. I've packed for you"  
"You did?"  
"Yeah. Unless you want to put my jeans back on"  
"I knew they were tight. That's what happens when you drag me out of bed"  
"Hey. I'm not complaining. I'm happy to have you in my pants anytime"  
"God. You're such a sap. I'm getting up"  
Climbing off Levi, Eren stretched as he walked over to the discarded suitcase to shut Levi's stupid alarm off  
"Hey, Eren?"  
Pausing, he looked over   
"Mmm?"  
"Are you an alien? Because your arse is out this world"  
"No. I'm a baseball star. My arse is out of your league"  
Levi blinked before cracking up laughing   
"If you're a baseball star, you know all about reaching third base"  
"Oh my god... I think that pitch just landed you in the penalty zone"  
"I don't know. It seemed more like a home run to me"  
Launching himself off the bed, Levi jogged over and swept him off his feet. Spinning him around and holding him with his crossed arms under Eren's arse  
"I love you, Eren Yeager"  
"I love you too, you idiot. Put me down"  
Levi lowered him, his fiancée then nuzzling into his face  
"I really love you"  
"I love you, too. And your constipated face. And your shit pickup lines"  
"If you want to hear about shit lines... Did you hear how diarrhoea is hereditary? It runs in your jeans"  
Eren groaned, pushing Levi away  
"Why the fuck am I engaged to you?"  
"Because you love me"  
"I do. I know I haven't been great about saying it... but I do"  
"I know. I'm still sorry I was an arse about it"  
"That was weeks ago... things have been better, haven't they?"  
"Yeah... I was acting foolish and letting my own frustrations get the better of me. I just wish you could see what you mean to me"  
He really couldn't... but as the feelings of self loathing began to rose, he shoved them down with a strained smile  
"Let's get dressed for dinner"  
"Yeah. Sounds good"

Levi was secretive as he emptied their suitcase. A large white box was carefully moved to sit on the bed, while his alpha pulled his suit from nowhere. Dressing in his suit pants, formal shirt, green tie and dress shoes, Levi was much the same except his alpha was wearing a silver tie. Apparently the restaurant had a dress code, but wearing a suit was hardly that much of a big deal, given he got to see Levi in his and that always made him swoon. Even having to pad his leaking breasts didn't matter... well it did, but Levi was so good about it, and helped him do it.

There was a minor incident when they first arrived at the restaurant. Eren was required to wear a green band around his wrist as he was an omega, which Levi got angry over on his behalf. Unlike the rest of the casino, it seemed like the only place in the whole complex which didn't employ the use of an scent cancellers, sending his heart racing and nerves sky high. When they were finally seated, his hands were shaking too badly to read the menu, and his words seemed to have stopped. Moving his chair closer to Eren's, Levi took his hand, his thumb running the back of it as his alpha's scent turned into a steady stream of calming pheromones until he could finally breathe again. A few of the closer tables eyed them in annoyance, but a glare from Levi had them soon actively avoiding looking in their direction  
"I'm so sorry. I had no idea this would happen"  
Resting his cheek against Levi's shoulder, Eren sighed softly   
"It's alright. You're here to protect me"  
"Damn straight I am. Though it pisses me off to no fucking end that people still act like this"  
"Levi. Can we not talk about it? Everything's been so perfect. Let's have a nice dinner?"  
"Yeah. If you feel like it's becoming too much, let me know"  
"I will"  
He wouldn't. There was no way in hell he was going to admit he wanted to run back to their room. That would be giving into his fears and anxieties, something Levi had tried so hard to distract him from all day.

Ordering meals they both wanted to try, Eren's world slowly shrunk back to the two of them. Levi clumsily trying to feed him bites, while Eren laughed because the first time his mate had tried, he'd nearly ended up with a fork up the nose. His own skills had been just as bad. The pair of them were definitely not made for fine dining. Finishing with the most amazing cheesecake he'd ever had, just because he was sure it was the only cheesecake he'd ever had didn't make it any less amazing, Eren felt like his weren't even touching the ground as they headed back to their room. It may have also had something to do with the amount of champagne they'd both had... but that was a distant thought on the omegas mind. He'd actually managed to pull off being normal... he couldn't quite believe it.

Walking back into their room, Levi had his arms around his waist as Eren made a beeline for the bed. Dropping down, he sighed dramatically, narrowly missing the white box as he did. Grabbing his arm, Levi pulled him up to sit, his alpha kneeling in front of him. For a moment, he thought Levi was going to undo his shoes, instead the alpha pulled a small box from his pocket. Popping it open, Eren's eyes widened at the gold and diamond ring in front of him  
"Eren Yeager, I know we're already engaged, and I know you're engagement ring is stuck on my finger... but I love you. I want to be with you forever, and build upon the family we have formed. You're it for me. I don't want anyone else. I could never want anyone else as long as I live. Will you accept this shitty old man's proposal?"  
Tears rushed to fill his eyes, nodding as he stuttered out   
"Y-yes"  
Snorting lightly, Levi pulled the ring from the box, taking Eren's shaking left hand and sliding the ring on smoothly. It was roughly the same size as the one he wore around his neck, leaving Eren wondering how the fuck Levi managed to get the sizing perfect   
"It's beautiful"  
"You're beautiful"  
Rising up, Levi lifted him by his legs as Eren slung his arms over Levi's shoulders. Their lips smashing into each other as the kissed deeply. He'd thought Levi was only half serious about proposing, then not serious at all given his insecurities. Moaning into Levi's mouth, it didn't take long before they were fighting each other in a race to get undressed. Lubricated by a generous serve of alcohol, his fears over sex had temporarily vanished. Levi burying his face between his legs and opening his tongue and fingers until he was practically begging to be mounted. Frustrated when his mate wouldn't just give in, he growled, pushing Levi to the bed and climbing into his lap. Claiming his fiancées mouth, he lined himself up, sinking down with a long whine, the pain still there, but dulled by champagne. Riding Levi, he couldn't get enough. His heart swollen with love for his alpha, as Levi fondled his breasts, whispering words of praise until Eren built up his rhythm enough to be blindly fucking himself on Levi's erection. Coming across Levi's belly, his alpha growled, hands abandoning his breasts in favour of grabbing his hips and holding him down. Words of breeding and filling him pleased his omega, his own mind too far gone as Levi drove into him harshly, a second orgasm curling his toes as Levi came hard. Collapsing down, his teeth found Levi's neck, sinking into the flesh without a moments hesitation. Levi returning the favour, his third orgasm dry and draining him of the lasybof strength. Inside him, his mate seemed to grow even larger, as his dick pulsed again, painting his warm heat even whiter. Rolling his hips, he could feel himself rippling, trying to drain every drop of come his mate. Keeping his teeth embedded in his mate, he waited until Levi's hips stopped moving before pulling back and lapping at the wound. His whole body felt alive from their bond. Tears filled his eyes as he hid his face against Levi's neck. Wrapping his arms around him, Levi purred softly   
"You're my everything Eren. And I'm going to be by your side, no matter how long it takes for you to see how truly special you are. You're my hope"  
"You're making my proposal seem completely unplanned"  
"I don't know. I think I love your proposal"  
"I think I love you"  
"I know you love me. Never leave my side brat"  
"I won't. And if I do, bring me home"  
"Always"  
"Thank you, Levi"  
"You're most welcome"

When Levi's knot deflated, the crawled up the bed so Eren could lay spooned in Levi's arms. His arse painfully sore, but it was worth it. The white box that had some how survived their sexcapades now sitting in front of him  
"What's in the box?"  
"Oh... you don't have to open it"  
Anyone who was anyone knew that was clearly an invitation to open it. Using his fingertips to draw it closer, he flicked the side up. Inside was a chocolate cake with pink candles  
"Happy birthday"  
"You got me a cake?"  
"I made you a cake. I don't know if it's any good, but I did follow the recipe"  
"Levi... why didn't you tell me?"  
"It was a surprise"  
"Do you think they'll care if we eat cake in bed?"  
"They can get fucked. What my omega wants, he gets"  
Eren giggled  
"Mmm. What if I want cake and you?"  
"Well, right now, you've got both. So I think you're pretty set"  
"Yeah... do you mind if we leave early tomorrow?"  
"You want to leave early?"  
"I want to see Viren"  
"You miss him"  
"Yeah... I know I'm not a great mum... and I'm still scared of hurting him, but I love him and I want to be better for him"  
"You're an amazing mum. No mum is perfect, but you give him the one thing he really needs"  
"Milk?"  
"Love"  
"Oh. Right"  
Levi reached over, closing the cake box   
"How would you feel about me riding you?"  
"I could support that. Just be careful. I'm sore"  
"I will..."  
Somehow Eren doubted he and Levi were going to sit properly for the rest of the week, but at that moment it was perfectly alright with him.

**Author's Note:**

> Legit not aiming for another Loving Eren...
> 
> As usual, not beta'd so abuse me for my mistakes.
> 
> ❤️ Thanks for reading ❤️


End file.
